alchemicphoenix

my art / semi-personal sideblog

[alchemicphoenix]

If this google document is made, and therefore has any type of personal, private information about me in it, you will not get a warning about this being taken to the authorities. This is the only warning you get. Remember: what you think is acceptable and what the law thinks is acceptable are two vastly different things.

[fforsythiaaa]

Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.

[traumatizeddfox]

i want to think he wasn’t as cruel as he truly was. that maybe some part of him actually felt bad, felt remorse for the pain he caused me, but i’m more afraid that he really is just cruel and it’s just as simple as that. i don’t know what’s worse? him hurting me and feeling remorse but continuing to abuse me? or him being so vile that he just is.. that. vile.

[ironyquotes]

[imjunebitch]

having an actual consistent set of morals in a vibe-based world full of people who say they have a "strong sense of justice" as shorthand for "I get really pissy when I don't get what I want" is kinda exhausting lol

[imjunebitch]

Do You Have Any Idea How Much Meaner I Wish I Could Be

[dajo42]

need a polite way to say "im not engaging in a discussion on this topic with you because the conclusions you have reached are based on so many interwoven layers of misconceptions it would be easier to just like, hard reset your whole brain, just start over as a baby and try again"

[panicatthecriscodisco]

sorry for venting here but truly the state of rape apologia discourse is driving me fucking insane as someone who was sexually assaulted by my housemate last year and was just informed that my case was thrown out as it didn't meet the criteria of the bullshit sexual assault laws in the country i live in. what fucking planet are we on where 'consider the rapist' is considered a progressive talking point. encouraging victims to place their abusers before themselves will never do anything but enable their abusers to avoid accountability. no i don't want him dead but he sure as fuck is not facing consequences for what he did to me, in fact he is legally and systematically protected by the system because of what i did when scared that he would escalate to further violence if i didn't let him do what he wanted 🙄

'who decides what a rapist is' as if victims/survivors don't have to deal with constant doubt over whether what happened to them was somehow justified or not as bad as it actually was months if not years after the fact. as if i wasn't hesitant to file a report and could feel myself toning down my own testimony because i was scared taking action would ruin his life when he didn't deserve it. like fuck off you people are no better than the government which claims a 'hypothetical observer' should have been able to tell something non-consensual was going on in order for my testimony to be valid in the eyes of the court

☝🏽🙂‍↕️

[alchemicphoenix]

I think I'm going to have to take a massive break from social media in general. I'm not doing okay mentally or physically and have not been for a while. I did not magically stop being suicidal. I have been this entire time. My physical health has been greatly affected by how depressed and anxious I've been for over a month now. I have friends in contact with me, so please do not worry about that. My cat also helps a lot with my physical symptoms (not always), and at least she is a comforting presence.

I wish I could say something more positive, but overall my mindset has become increasingly bleak and dull as I am continually worn down over and over again by extremely vindictive and malicious individuals. I am sick of my life being nothing but constantly needing to recover from traumatizing events and abuse. I wish I could stop being other peoples' punching bag and chew toy.

[alchemicphoenix]

back to my break. have a safe pride month

[fromhersoul]

[stuckinapril]

I promise you things will get so much better when you start processing people’s behavior as information rather than a verdict on your self-worth. If someone doesn’t text back, suddenly pulls away, whatever it may be, the solution isn’t to put on a tap dance for them and try to regain their approval. It’s not to crash out on them and try to force them to react a certain way. It’s just to take a step back, take a deep breath, and assess what this tells you. What’s this saying about them? What’s this saying about you??

[panicatthecriscodisco]

hey you stalking pieces of shit nice to see you all back on your high horses harassing people even though chee JUST got outed for threatening to force someone to watch csam. you aren't gonna "itms just a prank bro" your way out of this. chee said that shit LAST YEAR.

aren't yall supposed to be working on that precious fucking google docky? the one you're making with lily orchard's blessing, in collaboration with lolishos and incest fetishizers, in order to continue to justify trying to get an abuse victim killed? yknow, the one where you drag a bunch of people dealing with genuine real world crises that take precedent over giving your petulant asses attention?

tick tock, bitches.

[aidashakur]

[penny-anna]

Like you do need to recognise sometimes that a person is not picking up your social cues and adjust your communication style accordingly. If someone isn't understanding you then you need to change up how you're communicating and not just say the same thing over & over.

[shynestar]

Ppl b getting lame af out of nowhere like damn u couldn’t warn me lol

[cyberneticslut]

“Live to Ride” by Shelby Cohen, 1984.

[alchemicphoenix]

I will never understand someone going "I'm not stalking them and I don't block evade!" and then immediately proceed to post a screenshot from the person they're stalking and block evading with a post/reblog that's 45 seconds old, to whine and cry and complain about the post/reblog saying "If I have you blocked stop block evading me to stalk my every move on my social media. Leave me alone."

Hit dogs sure do holler.