“Schizo” Is Spelled Wrong, But Neither Of Me Minds

Arguing with myself and my Imaginary Friends who refuse to pay the rent that’s due.

[aleczscizofic]

Inside of us there are two wolves. Both of mine are named Moon Moon.

Damnit, Moon Moon Moon Moon.

[lovenotereminders]

Friendly reminder: when people say ‘as long as you tried your best’ it doesn’t mean ‘the best you could possibly have done ever’ it means ‘the best you were capable of at the time.’ Sometimes ‘trying your best’ is just getting out of bed in the morning. Just because you weren’t working yourself to the bone doesn’t mean you weren’t trying your best. 

[depsidase]

[aleczscizofic]

Copy 👏 Nintendo 👏 harder👏

People like video games for being… you know, games. Games that which are presented on video, turns out.

And they would not be commercial failures if

M o r e

Of them were made for

L e s s M o n e y

And they could make a gald dang return on investment.

The video game dev eq of “bitch never heard of pangea”

[aleczscizofic]

You have to remember. It’s not “people bad”. It’s “person bad”. You’ll be sooo much happier when it’s you realize it’s much more accurate to judge someone’s actions that way.

You also have to remember you are fully capable of being “person bad”.

[aleczscizofic]

Fun ice breaker idea, get introduced to twins and say “noo noo NOO which one do i shoot?!?”

[aleczscizofic]

Speedrunning this election cycle, trying to get to Acceptance%.

[aleczscizofic]

Throughout their respective times (and this is not a metaphor or anything, i promise) the further we got from their times, Napoleon Dynamite and An Austrian Painter became a punchline throughout the echoes of history.

The Annoying Orange (who is still literally just The Annoying Orange and nobody else, still not a metaphor) will be the same.

Wait it out if you have the ability to. If you don’t, enact the change in your local (…uh…) Youtube Channel that you want to see.

[aleczscizofic]

A typical Scott the woz video:

Just because this game was good and was beloved by many doesn’t mean it was F****** S*** F*** Horse and dog F***.

[skluug]

mulholland drive to the polls

[northshorewave]

Fire Walk (to the polls) With Me

[dizzyghoast]

eraser head to the polls

[aleczscizofic]

Super Mario World Athletic theme to the polls.

I do not recognize the format other than something music something.

[lierdumoa]

Good trope: Character yelling, "It's not what it looks like!" while doing exactly what it looks like.

Great trope: Character yelling, "It's not what it looks like!" while doing something so unfathomable that the person who interrupted them can't even begin to attempt to figure out what the hell it is they're seeing.

[aleczscizofic]

“It’s not what it looks like!”

He is hitting what appears to be between 14 and twenty five pumpkin converted bongs, each of which are on their own tiny trampoline, with a banner above the room that reads “ANT PARTY”.

The pumpkins appear ceramic so this, in no way, is attracting ants.

Also he’s in a tennis outfit. And one pumpkin has a cowboy hat. Only one.

[aleczscizofic]

Broke: I hate retro games. They’re clunky and they keep selling me the same 8 roms over and over again.

Woke: Retro games are good because with emulators you can bypass all of that, and use save states!

Bespoke: Retro games take zero time to load, i can be better at six games in the time it takes you to enter one COD lobby.

Baroque: A western style of architecture, music, dance, painting, sculpture, poetry, and other arts that flourished from the early 17th century until the 1750s. It followed Renaissance art and Mannerism and preceded the Rococo and Neoclassical styles.

[aleczscizofic]

You know what? *Unmountains your Dew*

[sixpenceee]

[anonymoustypewriter]

1) Put four pills on each side. The heavier side has the pill. Take the four pills from the heavier side.

2) Put two of the potential pills on each side of the scale. The heavier side has the poison pill.

3) Take the two potential pills. Swallow one. If you survive, you are holding the poison pill. If you die, you have eaten the poisoned pill. Either way you will find out which one it is for sure

[waepenlesbian]

1) Weigh 6 of them, 3 on each side 2a) If both sides are equal, weigh the 2 you didn’t use before. 2b) If one side was heavier, pick 2 of the 3 and weigh them. Heavier one is poisoned. If they’re even, it’s the 3rd.

[anonymoustypewriter]

Well, all I can say is that we all have our methods and some of us are more willing to take a risk in the name of science

[aleczscizofic]

Do i have to use the scale at all? Can’t i just take them all off of the scale, drop them on the floor one at a time, and see which one bounces higher? Or call poison control?

[aleczscizofic]

Any time i’m feeling just a little worked up, sometimes like a thigh or a breast might be too much for me, i need a different protein source and i feel better. Almonds? Salty and refreshing! Cashews? The more the better! Walnuts? More like Wal not? I promise you, you cannot get any better after that post nut clarity it is the best.

[gender-luster]

episodes that i think every tv show should have:

timeloop

whodunit

musical

beach trip

random genre change (especially if it's to a noir detective thing)

one where they get randomly meta and fourth wall breaky but then never acknowledge it again

one where something happened but we as the audience don't actually get to see how it happened and only see it through the unreliable narrated flashbacks as recollected by the characters

[aleczscizofic]

Bottle episode

Send up to a common episode trope, but at least one character is aware of the tropes at hand and will not stop talking about it

I’m just writing the average season of Community aren’t I?

Paintball

Childish Gambino

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

why does viva la vida by coldplay always go so hard. i hear those opening strings and instantly im a cynical and mournful king walking through his overthrown kingdom like oh shit I totally did used to rule the world!!! I used to roll the dice and feel the fear in my enemies’ eyes but now im literally sweeping the streets I used to own!!!! idk what it is about this song but for some reason i can’t explain

[aleczscizofic]

This post was written by viva la vida by coldplay.

[wizardnuke]

"skibidi toilet is ruining gen alpha" do none of you people remember asdf. i remember asdf.

[wizardnuke]

the kids are gonna be fine. they just happen to be incredibly annoying like every kid before them

[wizardnuke]

what does the fox say. i like trains. LEEEROY JENKINSSSSS. etc. we were all kids once. they are carrying on the tried and true god-given tradition of baffling and irritating adults. power to the children

[aleczscizofic]

Keeping this on my blog for The Archives (trademark pending).