✌️ @aleexkatherine-blog - Tumblr Blog

All of a sudden I feel so alone here, I just want to be around my family and I can't do that, and it hurts so much putting on a brave face to everyone. I just want someone to look at me and go ' I know you're not okay and that's okay, and I'm here for you' and no one knows. No one knows that I cry myself to sleep at night, no one knows that at random points of the day I think of you and shed a tear. And it hurts so so so much

This is hurting so much, you meant everything to me, the little time that we have spent together has showed me so much. It's showed me love. The look in your eyes, the extra squeeze of hug when we said goodbye, the way that you always wanted to be with me, just everything about you I'll miss. You were the first person that ever loved me, and the first person to show me how I should be treated. And I can't help but feel absolutely gutted and heart broken that it ever had to end.

He is so special already, and as much as it scares me, it's so perfect to have someone who loves me for me, all my imperfections and flaws, my grumpiness and my strops. The look in his eyes when he looks at me makes me melt, the way he sings along to every song and changes lyrics makes me smile from ear to ear, the way he pulls me in for a cuddle when he's half asleep and the way I feel when he kisses me is something that I can't explain but it's one of the nicest feelings I have ever felt. The way he talks about our future makes me realise just how lucky I am. Something so perfect has come from something so unexpected and I'm so grateful for him.

It hurts so so much to look back and wish you would have given it your all, realising that the one person you didn't commit to was the one person you really loved and really loved you back.

This is going to take a long long time. And it’s not going to be easy, with good days and bad days to come, but I will get over you forever. And I can’t wait for the day when I realise that I don’t think about you anymore, because that’s the day when I know, you are out of my life forever.

I have so many bad memories and so many bad things happened to me here that whenever I come back I'm literally so depressed. I'm so tired of feeling like this.

I can't believe that in 4 weeks I'll be a fully qualified ODP, where the hell have these two years gone? So so glad to be staying down here tho better friends and a better life than shitty Colchester ✌🏻

I'm getting so close to achieving what I've been working so hard to do its unreal. I want it now more than ever. Two years ago I wouldn't have believed I could do this, but I'm almost there. I've almost achieved my dream of being an ODP. It's crazy how much has changed these past 2 years, but it has been absolutely amazing and I've truly met people and friends for life. My decision to move away from home was so hard to begin with, but I couldn't have imagined it any other way.

Not in the mood to talk to or be around anyone. Today is a day purely for myself 👌🏼