Oh Lord, sooooo much wrong with that Victoria Ward word salad! Thank you, Cat, for letting me get this off my chest lol!
1) The Sux “fightback starts now”? Where have you been, Vicky? They’ve been “fighting back” for almost four years now! Same old same old.
2) Invictus is not a “veritable jewel in the crown” of the Sux. They HAVE NO CROWNS, Vic, and they never will have! (Maybe a veritable coronet monogram on their front door welcome mat?)
3) Their lives are NOT “all about helping others” ffs! Their lives are all about helping themselves…and whining that everyone else should be helping them, too. Wake up, Vicky babes.
4) Chicken has zero “fashion credentials” to show off, and her wrinkled, untailored messes are NEVER “carefully curated” lol. And as for her “stealth wealth” aesthetic…the Sux “wealth” is so stealthy that it megxited right out of Casa Olive Garden. They’re broke, Vicky.
5) Vicky dear, Harold’s “sole remaining legacy” as a royal is not IG. It is that he has trashed his loving, supportive family on the world stage, made the final years of his elderly grandparents a living hell, and has broken the trust and the hearts of the people who loved him best – William, Catherine, Charles, and yes, Diana, who is looking from heaven in horror at his villainy. Harold’s legacy will be to be known as The Traitor Prince.
6) Harold has already “reestablished his reputation on the world stage”…the entire world now sees him, forevermore, as a bitter, vengeful, whiny, immature, drug-addicted LOSER. He will NEVER be a “leader”! (PS: Yes, Vicky, he is “petulant,” but he stopped being a “Spare” ten years ago with George’s birth in 2013.)
7) “They’re done with their former lives. They’re not talking about family.” But but…yes, they are lol, right there in your sentence! That’s ALL they’ve done is “trash talk about family” (both of their families). It’s the only moneymaker for them.
8) Invictus “is very much a part of his former life” but it will also “show people who he plans to be.” Umm…Harold is a MIDDLE-AGED MAN(BABY). The time to show people who he was gonna “plan” to be lol was two decades ago. His cake is baked. A whiny, petulant, directionless, dimwitted ingrate is who he IS. Own it, Haz!
9) No, Vicky, Haznoempathy is NOT an empath ffs! An empath empathizes with others, feels their pain, puts himself in the other person’s shoes. Harold is exactly the opposite! He demands that everyone else feel HIS pain, put themselves in HIS shoes. He co-opts other people’s narratives (IG, Sentebale, Diana’s legacy, William’s destiny), takes other people’s pain, and then MAKES IT ALL ABOUT HIMSELF. He’s reprehensible!
10) The rumors about their” troubled marriage, trials, and separations” are NOT “unsubstantiated,” Vic. It’s a known FACT that Harold and Megs live in SEPARATE RESIDENCES (ie, rented hotel rooms and San Ysidro Ranch rentals) in DIFFERENT CITIES. And – whew! – those pics from Bey’s concert showed us exactly how troubled their marriage is…they despise each other! Salt n’ Peppa, Ma n’ Pa Palm Trees, entwined “H&M” fauxlligraphied faux-royal cyphers on doormats are history lol!
11) Oh Vicky, Vicky, Meghan Vicky! The “almost palpable” “simmering resentment” has not come from the BRF - who have maintained a dignified silence as recollections have varied – it has come from the Sux assholes, who have whined, complained, trashed, and sabotaged BOTH of their families, minus Dorito, for years now (Oprah, NF, Spare, Archetypes, The Cut, interminable lawsuits, lies, evil rumors). And they’re treated like “pariahs” after all that? Boo-f***ing-hoo! They ran – THEY RAN! – from their responsibilities. No one kicked them out. (Well…maybe HLMTQ did fire them after their SA debacle of a tour lol. That remains to be revealed.) Harold and Roachel pariahed themselves!
12) Meghan Vicky dear, if The Tig 2.0 MM’s “major new commercial venture” is “not Goop” then stahppp mentioning Gwyneth and Goop in every puff piece WME plants lol. And anyway, Meghan could never…
13) And yeah, about Chicken’s merching…those “seemingly candid (lmao) pap pictures of the Duchess nonchalantly (lmao) lifting her hand to her hair to reveal an anti-stress NuCalm patch” (there you go, Megs, merching…again) “for which Meghan had helpfully held up one sleeve to expose her wrist” (lmao)…well, which is it, Meghan Vicky? It isn’t an innocent “candid” non-merching stroll to the dentist if Megs is “helpfully” (ie, deliberately) holding up her sleeve to reveal the patch. It was merching, duh. Meghan, you ALWAYS tell on yourself! (Same as the “candid” tiktoks of you Elaine Benising at Bey’s concert. Tell us you lied (again) and WERE NOT at Taylor’s concert without telling us you weren’t at Tay Tay’s concert lol.)
14) And also yeah, about Harold’s distasteful hijacking of Hearts of Invictus to focus on himself and his bs imaginary “suffering” rather than on the real suffering of the true heroes – the athlete vets…”the series was used to launch another veiled attack on his family and the royal institution”…WHAAAAT!!! (cue Okra gif) “Was used”? By whom, Harold? Now he’s blaming NF for HIS OWN WORDS attacking his family?!! Wow, the backtracking lol. It seems that “someone” is broke, on the verge of divorce, country-less, and wants back in his royal family, bad.
15) And yeah…no, Harold, “those phone calls,” “that apology” are NEVER going to come from your family. Wanna know why? Because it’s YOU (and Roachel) who owe your family (and hers) an apology, not the other way around. But they aren’t holding their breaths. They’ve moved on. You should, too.
16) This entire article was an exhausting point-by-point Sux rebuttal (yet again) to EVERY SINGLE PETTY criticism they recently have read about themselves…on SM, Twitter/X, Tik Tok, Tumblr, Reddit, DM, you name it (everybody wave to Harold and Megs). Sux Burn Book Vol. XXXIV by The Duke and Duchess of UnSussexful Victoria Ward.
(Thanks again, Cat, for letting me vent! 😊 )
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