pairing: royalty, bff! haechan x royalty, gn! reader (implied dressing of female, though it has they/them pronouns) genre: light angst, 19th-century setting wc: 3k warnings: profanities, self-indulgent. tell me if i missed anything! HAPPY BIRTHDAY FULLSUN ! n/a: i literally talk to u everyday i don't have anything to say i appreciate u tho
THE HEARTBREAK COLLECTION.
req. by mika.
It was when you were ten years old. When you first met such an oddball, hiding outside the big windows of your room, peeking as you practiced your posture with a book in your head and a terror teacher inside the room with you.
You didn't understand why, for whatever reason, he was bothering you. You didn’t even know the boy, you even thought he was just a lost boy from outside the big walls of your castle. So when you furrow your eyebrows while the teacher paid attention to another student, he takes advantage of it and makes a weird face.
You were just on the brink of tears and you can’t be happier that someone made an effort to put a smile on your face. So when you stifle a laugh while he continues to be the oddball that he is, the book wobbles at the top of your head, he runs away when he sees the teacher head to you with a stern look.
You surely had remembered his face that day. For the reasons: one, he made you smile. And two, he was the reason for a tighter lecture.
“Lee Haechan if you don’t want your ass whipped, I gladly suggest you leave,” You exaggeratedly mouthed to the man outside the windows, all grown up but still having the mindset of a child.
It was still like you were ten years old.
Yes, exactly like ten years old when he childishly mocks your face back.
“Hey, I am going to need you to focus!” Hitting the table in front of you with her long, thin stick, you flinch in surprise as the book wobbles on the top of your head, wriggling in an effort to find the center of gravity and balance the book. “Lee Haechan, that kid…” Your teacher shakes her head and glares at you, and after she walks away only do you stifle a snort because damn, you weren’t the only one who’s going to suffer now.
“Right, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Corsets should definitely be optional, not mandatory.” Giggling as you stride through the big hallways, you and Eunyi stop at the sudden, stern voice echoing throughout the mansion.
“You’re such a troublemaker, Lee Hae— have it held high!” And that familiar, thin stick that you’ll hear every where.
“Lee Haechan just never rests, doesn’t he?” Eunyi clicks her tongue, already squinting her eyes to see far enough Haechan kneeling outside a room, the teacher in front of him. His arms were holding five thick books, probably history books, high up in the skies as he muttered continuous apologies to satisfy the woman in front of him.
You hide a smirk as you walk past through eyes already holding a teasing glint.
It was the first time he looked at you like that. Or maybe it was only because he was looking up at you— you don’t know. But it felt different. The way his eyes looked up at you in such awe and… amazement. Like how it feels when you see your first love— your only love, for the first time. And it was as if time slowed down for the both of you, and that was the second you knew you fell for him.
Hard.
“Hey, are you good?” Eunyi shakes your arm and you away from your fantasy, already walked a distance from Haechan as you inhaled sharply.
“I’ll be damned.”
“y/n!” It was that same, harmonious voice that called for you, ringing in your ears ever so softly as the heels of your shoes stopped with a click on the marble floor, turning around to be tackled inelegantly, Haechan’s arms circling your neck to put you on chokehold. “Where are you going?”
As you try to choke out a word, Haechan only realizes he still has you on hold and lets go of you, giggling as he looks at you coughing harshly.
“I could’ve died,”
“You didn’t.” Haechan’s honey voice cooed as this time, his arms looped around yours. “Where were you going?”
“None of your business,” You raise your fist to threaten punching him, only for him to avoid it a foot away in a second. “Are you following me?”
“Me?” Haechan snorts loudly, “Following you? For what? To see you go into some boring posture class and completely fail it because your corset is too itchy?”
You glare at him as he spurts out every fact that you have been muttering whenever you find yourself beside him after posture class, stretching your back as he ices the back of your palm before it bruises, cause of the continuous hits of your instructor’s thin, long stick.
“Just skip that class! You’re going to have your pretty hands fractured one day there,” He then takes your hand to examine it, a pout forming in his lips when he sees spots of bruises forming faintly. “Who even hits their students? More importantly, you’re royalty!”
Taking your hands back with a sharp inhale, you swallow the lump on your throat first before tucking your hands behind you.
“I know. Even my mom knows about it, but nothing really changed so I can’t do anything about it.” You sigh out, unconsciously caressing your hand that Haechan just held while you hold back a smile.
“Oh, you can do something about it.” He stops on his tracks and faces you with a sly smile, as if he had just thought of the best plan anyone could think of. “My royalty, would you be able to take my lovely offer and trust me?” He mocks to bow down and offers his hand, waiting for you to take it.
“No way, Haechan. I can never trust you with these things,”
His offered hand comes in contact with his chest, as if an arrow had struck him as he acts hurt, as you stare at him embarrassingly.
“God, stop. You’re so dramatic,” Pushing his face away, you were about to walk when you hear Haechan chuckle, then tugging your wrist to drag you from the way of your destination.
“The castle’s big. There is no way they’ll search a big place like this for one student,” Haechan says between breaths, glancing at you from time to time to see you, the most uncoordinated person he knows, not tripping over their own foot.
“Can we— stop, damn it,” You try catching your breath but Haechan wastes no second to tighten his hold on your wrist that you were desperately escaping from. “Where the hell…”
“We’re here!” Haechan finally stops with a big sigh, head turning everywhere slowly as he takes in the beauty of the large, closed garden. Birds were flying around with sweet melodies of its sounds as it roamed the fresh trees, wind only minimal from the smallest open windows from the glass roof.
More than breathless now— quite literally and not because of the amazing view you have failed to have known about your whole life, Haechan’s hands unconsciously slide down to intertwine with yours from your wrist, a proud smile growing on his face when he sees you in awe.
“Actually, not just yet.” Haechan tugs on your hand once again and before he even starts dragging you, your heels dig to the ground.
“Haechan, I swear to the heavens, if we run again, I’m losing a heartbeat.” With Haechan’s loud laugh, when he tightens his hold on yours only do you realize that you were now intertwining hands, making you blush harder, given that you were already red from all the running.
“We don’t need to run. I just have a special place in here that anyone doesn’t really know about,” He finally starts walking, leadin you to a bunch of tall bushes by the corner— or so you thought. Haechan pushes the bushes aside carefully and it makes your mouth agape.
“How did you even know about this?” You suppose Haechan put that blanket in the middle of the what was supposed to be small field in the corner of the garden. There were already remnants of plastics of candies and wares of— well, probably cookies from the kitchen, and another unopened ware of food you can’t fathom what.
“Well, these bushes really, really grow fast.” Haechan explains, urging you to sit on the blanket as he cleans his mess. “When it grew out as tall as me, it connected with each other and I guess they just forgot this space existed— or they just didn’t bother cutting these bushes again,”
“Yeah, I asked how you found this.” Though what he just said was something new for you, you sarcastically retorted at Haechan which earns you both a chuckle.
“Okay. To be honest, I was roleplaying a scene in here alone, then i tripped over some stupid rock that was there at a wrong time and when I try holding on to the bushes for support, I kinda just slid through,”
It was late. You were already laughing your ass off at his embarrassing story, right when “roleplaying” even left his lips.
“Roleplay?!” You point at him, your other hand opening the ware full of mallows and stuffing your mouth with it as you laughed and teased the growing red Haechan.
“Stop, I knew you were going to tease me,” Haechan whines, plopping beside you and snatching the mallows.
“Come on, it’s rare that it’s finally me teasing you, not the other way around. Give me some slack,” You turned to face him as he deadpanned at you, and you almost burst the mallows all over his face if only you didn’t stop your mouth with your hand.
“So cute!” Haechan randomly squeals and pinches both of your cheeks, while you struggle to chew the mallows and swallow it before it spills out because of all the pinching.
“Stop, good heavens,” Haechan finally lets your cheeks free and leans back with his hands for support, looking particularly nowhere and just enjoying the sight, the peace, and your presence. “What were you really roleplaying for?”
It was just a genuine and light question, so the both of you don’t laugh. You knew Haechan didn’t really care about things— how he’s a royal, how he should be particularly sure about his future and wants, how everybody is already literally begging for Haechan to think about what he wanted to be if he doesn’t want to be crowned king.
Just a little side note though. If Haechan wants to act and has passion in it, you would definitely support it all the way. So roleplaying might be just one of his trials.
“Isn’t this place perfect?” Haechan starts, sighing of something of content. He watches you lay down on the blanket and hears you hum. Before he continues, he pulls your arm to stretch, setting his head on it as it served as his pillow. He keeps his hold in your hand, afraid that you’ll pull it out out of annoyance. But you don’t. You’re too fallen in love to be even faking annoyance. The way he’s just beside you, you wanted to answer ‘Yes, Haechan. If it’s just us, in here, like this. More than perfect.’ but your lips were sealed tight, your eyes stayed at him who wasn’t even looking at you. “A perfect place for a confession.”
“What?” It was the only word that left your lips, jerking a little as you tried meeting his eyes, but he only waves you off. Mixed feelings. It was what you felt. For whom? You didn’t even know.
But what you knew is that Haechan only knows a handful of people here inside the castle, given that his family doesn’t want people knowing his kind-of-rebellious behavior.
And maybe, just maybe— Haechan fancies you. It makes you smile a little, and maybe a tad bit of anticipation toward the man.
“I was thinking of Royal Ball. I’ll call them right here. I might even set a little dance floor here. Just… us.” And Haechan looks at you.
Who wouldn’t fall for his eyes? For his smile? For his genuineness?
Because you?
You had fallen way deeper than you know. Way deeper.
“Royal Ball, huh.” You kept your smile to yourself, acting nonchalant as you nod, heaving a small sigh as you let your eyes rest, reminiscing the feeling of him beside you. “Since when did you like someone?”
“I don’t know.” Haechan doesn’t even hesitate a second, as he’s a person who doesn’t hold back in telling how he felt, and feels. “I think it was something the like of love at first sight. I’ve always seen them around, but then when I was getting punished by a teacher in a hallway— Heavens, the sun lit through the walls of the castles and landed on their face… they are godly.”
Your mind runs back to the time you and Eunyi walked past him when he was kneeling and asked to hold five thick books outside in the hallways, and it made your heart beat faster.
Anticipation goes over your doubtfulness, and you think maybe, just maybe, it is you. You hope it is you.
Royal Ball wasn’t the ball you imagined it to be. You thought it’d just be some small gathering of royalties and their families, but it actually was something bigger. So you had to exert more effort in hiding your sneakers under your dress, avoiding anyone who took notice of your overly confident strides.
Your eyes only keeps finding one particular head once you step foot on the big room, your lips still fighting a smile as you tried calming yourself down.
“y/n, can you please get in here?” Your mom’s voice booms on your ear as you shake your head to reality, smiling at them as you approach your mom and dad with two familiar people.
“Mom, Dad.” You smile, getting into your mom’s embrace as you bow at the guests, “Queen and King Lee,” They return the greeting with a small bow and a smile.
“Princess y/n.” They chimed, looking proudly at you. “I can tell you’ve put extra effort into your look today,” Oh heavens, was it that obvious? Haechan’s mother squints her eyes at you teasingly, exactly like the eyes of your beloved.
“Yeah, actually, I am anticipating something by the end of tonight,” You truthfully answer, earning you small oh’s and hmm’s from your parents and Haechan’s parents.
“Well then, we wouldn’t want to be the barrier to this something tonight, would we?” Haechan’s mother pats her husband’s arm, giggling. “You should go and enjoy tonight.”
“Then I’ll get going. I hope you enjoy tonight too,” You smile, but right before you turn to walk away, they stop you.
“Right, lovely, just one more thing. Have you seen my boy?” Your eyebrows perk at the mention, shaking your head.
“Didn’t he come with you?”
“He came way earlier than us, said something about preparing priorly about some—- oh,” Haechan’s father stops mid-sentence, and only do you realize what he realized a moment later.
“Oh please, no,” You chuckle, lightly waving your hands in front of your face. You had to reject every advances their statements had to bring regarding their son until they had finally let you go after a few minutes, Haechan’s mother winking at you.
“Damn, when is he going to ask me?” You mutter, eyes still looking around as you dragged your gown around for someone. “Oh, Eunyi!” Rather than who you were looking for the very first second, your bestfriend catches your eye and you run to her, preparing to bombard her with questions because for all you know, she didn’t want to come to the ball. “I though—-”
“y/n, I’m really sorry. I have somewhere to go, I’ll find you later!” After giving you a hug, she comes running out of the ballroom to who knows where, leaving you the most confused as you found a seat, giving up on finding Haechan.
When you’ve had your third glass of juice for the day, you finally feel your bladder slowly getting full, disappointedly walking out of the ballroom to the bathroom nearby. After doing your business do you see yourself pouting in the mirror.
“God, what was supposed to be the happiest night, turned out to be tiring.” You hiss, “If you don’t find me Haechan, fine. I’ll go there myself.” You jump at your idea, carrying the useless gown as you sprinted in front of the garden. “Finally.”
It was just like last time, the time when you went here with Haechan.
Peaceful. And it was more peaceful at night.
The moon shined brightly against the window roof, and even served as the light more than the lampposts inside the garden. You slowly made your way to the bushes, careful not to make a noise to be able to surprise him. But as you step closer to the bushes… there was music playing. Steps filling the music.
Exactly what you had the song in mind when you want someone to slow dance you under the moonlight.
Now you’re watching the love of your life create your wishes with somebody else.
What had gone wrong? Wasn’t it you? When did Haechan and Eunyi even meet? When did they even fall?
And it hits you.
Ah, it was always there. It has always been there.
You were just too busy feeding into your own fantasy what your brain and heart wants. It had never been you and Haechan. It has always been him and Eunyi, and then there’s just you.
The moment Haechan felt, it was just between him and Eunyi, and then in the sidelines was you.
As you watch them through the small gap between the bushes, you could only suffer in the void as you swallowed all the whining and the sobs of the pain your heart felt.
And for the last time, you mutter the words you have always prayed for to whoever was in the heavens.
“Please don’t be in love with someone else…” As you cried in pain, muffling your hopeless sobs with your hand. “Please don’t have somebody waiting on you…” Like a chant spilling out of your lips, you hoped some magic will do its work.
But nothing beats the enchantment both Haechan and Eunyi was feeling right now, foreheads together as they swayed through the smooth melody the song gave, eyes closed as they feel each other’s warmth and presence under the moon.
And again, it hits you. These words you have always prayed to the above have backfired at you—- somebody else? There was no you in the first place.
There was no you in his love story. Haechan was never in love with you.
And so, he indeed didn’t fall for someone else— you.
if someone asked to be tagged i'm so sorry (its probably down my notifs) >< nct dream is a misc group in my works but if ever i can still add them to my permanent taglist! if you want to be tagged to the future nct dream fics, drop them in my inbox <3
my apolgies for using this account for such matters but as to what some accounts used to see in my blog, i've stated somewhere that i am a part of a student council from a state college in my country the Philippines hence why i made this poorly drafted post in a hurry.
currently, as the 2022 election ended, atrocities and electoral anomalies were found during the vote counting process and statisticians had shown their data that had shown these anomalies (refer to this link) the normal distribution of votes as shown on their data is an indication how the vote counting process depicts a rigged tally since the population/demographics in the Philippines are unevenly distributed (we are an archipelagic country consisting of 17 regions with some congested areas such as areas in metro manila)
adding to this, as a history major myself, i am baffled with the amount of historical revisionism and distortion rampantly happening and we, as students of history and historians ourselves, are ridiculed and ignored despite countless efforts of presenting narratives, books, documentaries and photos that shows what majority dub as the "golden era" of the Philippines—this is the tyranny of the late dictator Ferdinand Marcos Sr. the 14-year rule of this dictator had thousands of filipinos killed, many are still unfound, human rights violation happened left and right, millions of debt were placed under our names, the democracy of the press and students actively participating in protests of this regime were illegally arrested against their own means and were tortured. once the filipinos had kicked this tyrant out of his seat during the EDSA PEOPLE POWER but the 2022 election had let the son's dictator be put into seat as the philippine president.
(if you wish to know more about martial law, i have this link that contains resources that can help)
this marked yet another year of our lives fighting for a just and transparent governance. the philippines is at it's peril. we have already made it into international headlines with the name of that dictator staining our identities.
this is not an issue of our moral integrity being bought by money in order to cope with the rampant poverty but this lies deeper with the miseducation of the people. the education system that we have are flawed, made to glorify the dictators and the corrupts. those who shares thw teuth and fights for our rights were killed, red-tagged, shunned off by textbooks and marked as terrorists.
please, spread the truth about our country and give comfort to any filipino mutual that you have. please spread awareness as to what is happening in our country because as much as my words pass by your timeline and reaches its end, a simple share can help those unaware of our situation. i can't stand not doing anything for my country, not everyone i know of are privileged enough to flourish after we suffer the consequences dictated by our distorted past.
please, comfort any filipino mutual that you have. by being emotiional about this, i have been out in the streets mobilizing and organizing campaigns to fight for a clean election and have been receiving dead threats here and there. it is fear inducing, yes, but what lies ahead of me if i stay quiet is a life without a future in a country i love so much.
bilang aktibong lider-estudyante, magkikita tayo sa lansangan para ipagpatuloy ang laban para sa bayan 🌸✨
if you wish to ask me questions about this topic, send me an ask!!
hey. SO. don't be mad at me for not writing but i made a uquiz in december about nct from pre-debut to present day and then promptly forgot about it. flash forward 4 months: i updated it a few days ago, and i think it's better than it was before so i'm actually publicizing it
here are a few reasons you should take my quiz:
i spent a lot too much of my time making/editing it
it would make me happy and i don't feel that generally
it's pretty hard ngl like you won't get all of them right but you'll learn something along the way!
I just wanna let you lads without adhd in on something
Those of us with adhd have this nifty little thing called RSD. It stands for rejection sensitive dysphoria. Something like 99.8% of people with adhd have it. It’s an example of how adhd messes with emotional regulation.
If someone with adhd even perceives that they may possibly upset someone whose opinion and love they value, they may have a complete emotional breakdown, complete with tears and the certainty that they will now be hated forever. This reaction can also be caused by their own opinion of themselves.
If you see someone you know who has adhd make a mistake, please be gentle with them - especially if that mistake is related to you or someone else. You may save them an RSD episode and a lot of heartache.
Also, as a side note, RSD can also kick in when it comes to things someone with adhd likes. For instance, if I find a comic online and find it funny, if I show it to you, I’m confiding in you not to hurt me. Showing someone something I love takes a huge amount of trust. That’s because, if someone who I care about says something mean or negative about something I like, it can literally, permanently ruin it for me.
This isn’t melodramatics. It’s not about being bitter or petty. It’s an RSD response that comes from feeling inadequate if the things I like don’t measure up to the people whose opinions I care about. I’ve had entire hyperfixations absolutely ruined for me because my sister said she ‘didn’t get it’ and compared beloved characters to something she knows I hate. I could no longer see that show without thinking of the overwhelming sadness that came with that experience. That show became shame. It’s taken almost a year for me to even be able to palate looking at content for it again.
These days, I don’t share hyperfixations with people I’m not confident understand how much they mean to me. It’s a touchy subject and can end in devastation.
So, my point is, if you know someone with ADHD, please be kind to them and keep this in mind when they share things with you. You don’t have to like something or even understand it to show compassion. Maybe ask a question or two before letting the topic trail off. If you don’t seem very interested, they’re likely to find other people to talk about it with anyway, since it’s clear you’re not very into it (depending on how socially aware they are). However, even if they can tell you’re not into it, you’ve made a compassionate and understanding experience for them, showing your support and love and letting them know you care.
A/n; first of all, stfu no i do not have a hand kink, no i am not fetishizing hands, and yes I am a simp for hyuck’s hands. God i need some grass, well anyways imma go cry myself to sleep now. Also, I’m so srry about chenle’s scenario being unnecessary, i just ran out scenarios for him KANKDKAJD i had another idea that was really cute but i didn’t know how to add the headcanon thing in it skjfkalkfkf.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The rest are under the cut !
❏ ⨾ MARK
You were just sitting beside him, minding your own business as he does his work on his laptop. Every now and then you would glance at him, watching his fingers tap on the keys. You haven’t noticed how pretty his hands were until now. It had callouses from playing the guitar but it heals over time, leaving his skin soft.
Mark then stretches his arms, twisting his wrists to prevent it from aching, as he lets out a yawn. He props his arms on the arm rest, his head thrown back as he becomes deep in his thoughts.
Eyes opening as he felt a pair of hands taking in his, weaving it in their fingers. He turns to you, still deep into a book you were reading, the other free hand playing with the back of his hand. You felt each healing callouses, tracing them with your fingers.
“How long have you been sitting there?” You look up from your book, smiling softly. “A while. Are you finished?” He nods, pulling the office chair that you sat in closer to him, he brings your hand up to his lips, kissing the back of it. “Let’s get some food cause I’m starving.”
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