🐧

[pirategf]

love being drunk texted actually. like yes think about me and wish i was here

[anistarrose]

I think Tumblr should simply gamify reporting spambots for its users and give a day of free crabs to whoever (correctly) reports the most

[entguarde]

whack-a-bot

[wild-west-wind]

For every ten verifiable bots reported, a random original post of yours will be blazed. You do not get to choose which.

[zacianv-deactivated20230815]

if i was a fine, fragile linen would you handwash me 🥺 or put me in that damned maschine 😑

[funnytwittertweets]

[tropesarenotbad]

[image description: a tweet by @ dialectichiphop (since I don’t know how to camel case that: d i a l e c t i c h i p h o p) that reads:

In order for me to write poetry that isn’t political, I must listen to the birds and in order to hear the birds the warplanes must be silent

// Marwan Makhoul

/end ID]

[clairenatural]

tumblr i have been here for almost a decade

[mirkwoodest]

The "If you were over 6 feet tall and living in Wellington in 2001 you didn't have a choice my dude" is killing me, like I'm just picturing the LOTR casting directors running around Wellington with a measuring tape, black-bagging tall guys and shoving them into vans.

"You're a Lord of the Rings extra now."

"No! Please! I have a family! I'm supposed to work the closing shift at the Pita Pit tonight!"

"You serve at the pleasure of the Steward of Gondor now."

[thegenderal]

I love the phrase gross misconduct. babygirl your behavior is yuckydisgusting

[heystephen]

please normalize wanting to dance with somebody and PLEASE normalize wanting to feel the heat with somebody. it’s okay to want to dance with somebody who loves you.

[theoneicelady]

Im sorry but is this not normal?

[heystephen]

normalize knowing whitney houstons greatest hits

[firefox-official]

i have this writing style i like to call “uncertain.” it’s where the narrator isn’t really sure what they’re talking about either

[dkpsyhog]

That is so powerful and I want to write a short story in this style now thank you

[firefox-official]

“the park had been there for as long as i’d lived there, i think. i couldn’t be sure. i was never one to go to the park anyway” nobody has any clue what’s going on

[nonlinear-nonsubjective]

self aware unreliable narrator

[wumblr]

there’s a fucking furry at the mall!!!!

[wumblr]

what the hell is an “"easter bunny”“

[wumblr]

[goteveryonewatchinus]

My app crashed three times trying to reblog this, and I feel that was the universe trying to stop me from giving others whiplash.

[obiwan]

ROBERT PATTINSON as BATMAN: 

[lastvalyrian]

So. The bitcoin conference was a complete failure. AND what's even better. There was a ball pit.

[rambling-et-al]

[modogoblin]

[funnytwittertweets]

[maelwife]

In the bathroom and cascada every time we touch just came on and the girl in the stall next to me was like oh my god this is my song and started peeing harder

[paxamericana]

[official-kircheis]

As per my last clay tablet,

[lurking-latinist]

CCing Ibbi-Ilabrat on this one just to make sure we’re all on the same page!