100 days into diaper training
One hundred days, a few days over three months. That feels like neither a long or short time, but I learned in elementary school that the number 100 is a high one! (And my math skills didn't really elevate from that, to be honest.)
I feel kinda proud and it's really hard to feel that for me. I can't remember when I felt proud the last time. I feel very thankful. Very thankful for all the great humans that I got to know better in the last months. People texted me on Christmas and asked me how I am? I'm so grateful for you.
I feel grounded and I feel like I have something that's always a safe choice. And I can always change if it doesn't sit right. That's not only a diaper metaphor, lol.
I had hard and really easy days in this journey. As I am a person that's menstruating, I was very grateful to not think about changing my pads regularly, but there were a few other obstacles that came with it. I think my hormones are not only "hating on men (because they didn't get my body pregnant)" right in front of my period, they also don't really vibe with the "I have to wear diapers now" part. There's a feeling of disconnection and changing feels more or less like a chore these 4-5 days a month. Maybe it's also a thing of obedience. Wearing diapers these past months felt like how I'd imagine a sub feels collared. And when I'm bleeding and my body is annoyed that I didn't succeeded at getting it pregnant, I may not be in the best mood to be obedient. Maybe I just need more reassurance in those times. This is a very good information to have for the future, in my opinion.
I only started reading about my menstrual cycle last year, please do the same if you don't already do that. It's so interesting and opens eyes & empathy.
I had moments where I thought I was slipping a little bit towards losing control. Now I read several times that there's a night time barrier and if you don't bedwet yet, it's not that bad. I didn't bedwet once and I think I had a really strong bladder before. I can't remember that I had any issues with it like ever and when I had to pee very urgently, I always cramped and couldn't let go.
What I now noticed is, that I had some small tinkle accidents and some that showed that 'closing your bladder' after peeing is very important if you want to be able to stop the stream. Yes, I couldn't stop peeing myself and that was rather interesting to experience, but also timed very badly. I'm happy that nobody noticed in those situations.
I also had a lot of moments where I only realised that it got warm and wet. Those I really loved, because most of the time I was really focused and it felt natural & comfortable to me.
I was a proud member of the locktober and no nut november movement and it really helped me to feel connected to wearing diapers and have the discipline to continue. I usually have a low libido too, it only really sparks when I'm in the follicular phase & ovulation. The sparks are manageable for me, so it wasn't really hard to stay pure.
But after it I tried again and realised: I can't cum properly. It just goes to 70% and drops down to zero. I think it was the case the last years before too and that's why I didn't really tried it a lot. But now it came to the surface more than before. I'll talk about that with my therapist, maybe she has a solution for me.
The first times wearing diapers outside I was really nervous. I wasn't wearing for a long time and not used to the thought of "someone could notice something embarrassing about me". Turns out, nobody really notices how your butt is shaped, especially in a big city. And when I wasn't feeling like wearing big diapers, which was mostly the case when I couldn't really plan the day, I was always able to go back to pull ups.
I also realised that I felt very good most of the time, diaper concealing clothes are very comfortable. Dresses, big pants and dungarees are perfect for that and I'm also thinking about buying another pair of dungarees. They are the perfect mixture out of feeling dressed age appropriately, cute and safe. I put my clothes away that weren't hiding my diapers that well and I didn't miss them yet. :)
Favourite & least favourite Moments?
One of my least favourite moments was when I was in pain after my wisdom tooth removal & I got my period on the worst pain day - diapers were just an obstruction that day. I also had to work a whole weekend through and pushed myself through wearing real diapers and no pullies. There was one situation where I wasn't able to stop peeing my already full diaper and I had to rush to the bathroom to change. The only few minutes when I was without a diaper, because I had to get it from my office. That was a hustle and I didn't like it. :(
My favourite moments were when I was laying in bed with my switch, playing Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley. That was just cozy and felt like it should never be different again. And I really, really loved when I met up with other ABDLs and didn't need to hide myself nor my diapers. Being in littlespace and getting humiliated in front of others is so fun to me. :)
How do I want to continue?
Actually I don't know yet. I know I did that silly poll and if I want to be obedient to it, I need to wear another 100 days. I'd really like to know how it's to wear diapers 24/7 in spring and warmer weather conditions, but I'm not sure yet how I'll decide.
I want to try wearing big big big girl panties on January 1st to see how I'm feeling and decide after that. I'll keep you posted.
A follower growth from 200 to 4890 on Tumblr.
A follower growth from 900 to 1455 on Instagram.
I wore approximately 330 diapers in those 100 days. (I can't even count how much of them leaked.)
I had 4 accidents where I peed myself without planning.
I got gifted 33 DryNites, 10 LFB Nursery in Blue, 28 Abena M4, 12 InControl, 12 Forsite Stars and really cute tights with flowers on them.
I'm very thankful for all of you, especially those that supported me and my project. <3
Have a great new year's eve. I wish you the best 2026 possible.
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