firecracker

Alexis Keller. 21. Happily married and 5 months pregnant. God is love and love is real.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[alexiskeller]

alexiskeller  Groucho wishes you all a spooky Halloween!

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[alexiskeller]

i have to pull an early night tonight unfortunately, but i will be back tomorrow on alexis, @lylejanderson and @hoperosehalpin and hopefully get to ALL my replies (and ims) ! mark my words.

[alexiskeller]

hazelrollins‌:

It was not like Hazel to be a complete and utter disaster at this. Not really. Not all the time, at least. While she’d been mediocre at best at all the little jobs she’d had in every single store this town seemed to have, dog walking– that was something she was good at. Though sometimes it seemed like the dogs were walking her and other times she’d lost control of a leash or two and the pups she’d been walking had bounded their way over to some poor unsuspecting soul that hadn’t expected to be greeted by giant balls of fluff. Although– that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. This time she’d gotten distracted by a phone call, had stopped in place to answer it, while the six dogs she’d been walking had entertained themselves by looping around her legs. It wasn’t until she’d hit end and stuffed her cell phone in her back pocket that she noticed her predicament, though it was a minute too late considering she’d attempted to take a few steps and the tangled leashes caused her to topple over, only to be greeted by six panting pups and someone hovering above her. “I did this on purpose,” she told them from above, eyes squinting against the sunlight. “I mean– this ain’t a bad way to go, right?”

"You alright, sugarbun?” Alexis said as she watched Hazel go down, crossing the road to get to her.  One of the six pups in Hazel’s care broke away from the fold and went running into Alexis’s arms. She got down on one knee to pick Groucho up. “Awww, baby. There, I’m gonna take one off your arms to make your life more manageable,” she said, grateful for Hazel’s help with Groucho while she went shopping.

[alexiskeller]

beatrix-lavery‌:

@frostfordstart

“You know how many times a day I get to hear about people’s bunions and hemorrhoids?” Bea grimaced with a laugh. “More times than I want, that’s for sure. You’d think people wouldn’t wanna talk about their…ailments…in a small town but nope…they love giving me…every…single…detail.” 

"I don’ envy you at all Bea,” Alexis said with a shake of her head, dipping her spoon into her ice cream. Was she frequenting Custard’s for the third time this week? Maybe so. But no one could judge her, she was five months pregnant. “I mean, I have to hear about Mrs. Wilder’s hernias every time I pick up my prescription, can’t imagine how often you get it.” 

[nattaliadyer-deactivated2018091]

Zoey Deutch at a Nail Salon in Beverly Hills, California - August 24, 2016

[alexiskeller]

wesrosen‌:

@frostfordstart

“Apparently I’ve got to get on this whole ‘Strangers Things’ train, because some of my students keep saying with my mustache I remind them of Mr. Clarke and I don’t know if that’s a bad thing or not?” He said before a chuckle rang through his chest. “I hope Mr. Clarke is a badass, cool teacher though,” he added, although he truly had no idea. 

“Is that the show with them 80′s kids and the demons and whatnot?” Alexis asked. Of course she hadn’t seen it. “I’d wager you’re not missin’ out on much. There’s nothin’ new under the sun with all these shows, they’re all the same, replicated product with a dash of Satan thrown in to look edgy for young kids.” 

[alexiskeller]

winterbvldwin‌:

Hearing the sound of the other’s loud yell, Winter Baldwin couldn’t help but to let out an agitated huff of air – Alexis Keller. Always a pleasure to be around. It seemed like whenever the two seemed to cross paths, it was nothing but a horror show. Not that a girl like Winter should’ve expected anything else.   “Nice to see you too, sweetheart,” the blonde remarked with a roll of her eyes, gaze shifting down to the barely there space between the two vehicles. “You could’ve but you didn’t, so there’s no need for all the screamin’ and name callin’.” Her original apologetic manner now seeming to be a thing of the past. 

Alexis had never quite lost it like she had today. Not of late, if ever. But pregnancy hormones were just a B-word, making everything a hundred times more intense than they were or had any right to be. Such as her frantic thoughts still currently swirling that she could’ve injured something, lost the baby. All manner of horrors. And all because of a floozy like the Baldwin girl — that would be the ultimate insult.

Her initial outburst now over, the anger cycled through into remorse and guilt. Worry and concern for the other. “Oh lawd,” Alexis exclaimed, that blasphemy in itself quite unlike her. But in such dire times, it was forgivable she supposed. She’d say a couple hail marys just in case. "Y’alright? Are ‘ya hurt?”  

[alexiskeller]

NOTORIOUS TIDBITS — ALEXIS KELLER

If small towns have the equivalent of an It Girl—  Alexis Keller would certainly be one. Every piece of knowledge that is passed down about her in town folklore is mostly positive. After all, what kind of negative rumours could be passed around about a God-loving, charity-donating, library volunteering, homecoming queen? The girl lives to give to her community and over the years the same goodwill has been afforded to her. Yet as always, one or two rumors do get out...

1) The Water Tower Incident. Now this was just an unfortunate case of wrong place, wrong time. Alexis never hung out with the ‘wrong crowd’ in high school per se, but her husband did tend to mill about with Frostford’s rowdier clientele. Such as on the night people say Alexis Keller nearly killed some poor fellow with a beer bottle. But the truth is that Alexis had not thrown the bottle, it was accidentally dropped by James Goode, and missed the man walking under the tower, who was unharmed (but shortly after passed out for unrelated, medical reasons). Just bad luck and bad timing all around.

2) The Jolly Rancher Fiasco. In her recurring stint as a babysitter for half of the town’s kids, Alexis had an all-out screaming match with Mrs. O’Reilly. Long story short, the O’Reilly kids were under strict rules not to be given any candy, but they had rifled through Alexis’s handbag and found a bag of Jolly Ranchers, and what was a fun, laissez-faire babysitter supposed to do? It only turned dangerous when little Anna started choking on one, but luckily Alexis was learned in the heimlich manoeuver and little Anna turned out just fine. This incident didn’t sit well with Mrs. O’Reilly though, who all but booted Alexis out of her home screaming. It was all over Gabbin’ Gertie’s column that week.

3) The Exorcism. This is by far the most well-kept secret about Alexis. Even people who know something about it, only know parts. Most townsfolk know that in her freshman year of high school, Alexis fell seriously ill and had to miss an entire month of school. The reason for her illness, and the remedy that helped her get better are all rife with speculation. But there has been a person or two who swear they saw a Catholic priest (most certainly from out of town) visit the Harmons around the same time Alexis was sick.  

[alexiskeller]

winterbvldwin‌:

“Shit.” The word flowed urgently from the lips of Winter Baldwin as she let her forehead fall forward with a thud against the steering wheel.  “– I am so sorry,” the blonde instantly started from the moment she’d stepped out the vehicle, “I promise that only looked down for a second and the next thin’ I knew, I crashed into you.” Though, crash was an over-exaggeration based on the lack of damage to both cars. Bumped probably would’ve been the better choice.  “If there’s anythin’ I can do to make it up to you then let me know.” / / @frostfordstart​

"Seriously?!” Alexis all but yelled, despite the fact she wouldn’t exactly be heard from inside her car. Her hands immediately flew to her stomach, the girl terrified of any disturbance or upset caused to that most sensitive of areas. But her reflexes were fast while driving, she’d slammed her breaks quick enough that she hadn’t actually hit anything. Still, mother instincts were well and alive in the brunette currently, and it was anger that she happened to respond with. 

“What the hell, Winter?! Are you stoopid?” She jumped out the car yelling, leaving an angry, yapping Pomeranian inside her car. But nevermind Groucho, he was fine. “I coulda dented your car in half! You sleepin’ at the wheel?!”   

[alexiskeller]

                                            The Harmon Family 

Mary Harmon (née Christensen) - 40

Originally from Provo, Utah.

Used to be a Mormon, but broke with the faith to marry John. It caused a big uproar in her family.

Believes pop music to be an invention of the devil, and Britney Spears to be an agent of Satan. Is tolerant of certain Christian country.

John Jeremiah Harmon III - 42

A pastor with the Frostford Presbyterian church.

Tenth generation of Harmons in Frostford.

Believes the moon landing was faked and denies that Obama was ever president.

Clarence John Harmon - 12

Likes collecting bugs, wants to be a botanist one day.

Almost died from measles when he was five.

Loves Pokemon Go. Very sad about Pokemon Go because Frostford has no gyms.

Tanner Jeremiah Harmon - 17

Pitcher for the Frostford High baseball team.

Drove all the way to Mobile his sophomore year for a special arrangement of flowers for his girlfriend, only to find out she was sleeping with his best friend.

His dad discovered his cum sock one time and Tanner was grounded for 8 weeks.

Alexis Berenice Keller (née Harmon) - 21 

[alexiskeller]

Alexis Keller - instagram [enlarged version] 

Alexis works day and night on her feed to drive more followers to her account, in the hopes of becoming a full-time social media influencer and mommy blogger. Unfortunately, she’s only managed to bag one sponsored post so far.

[theanti90smovement]

[alexiskeller]

rxsecolored‌:

          this was the  third time  this week that alexis keller had pranced into the  FAMILY CLINIC  ,  causing an absentminded  roll  of eyes on joanna’s part  ,  a suppressed  sigh  begging to escape her lips  .  the blonde wasn’t normally one to pick fights  ,  but there was just  something  about alexis that made it difficult to bite her tongue  .  “  you know ,  with how many times you stop by here a week your room must be  filled  with  get well soon  flowers . ”  her words were  sarcastic  at best  ,  a brow arching to meet eye contact  .  @alexiskeller

Seriously? She was just going to say that after all of the routine checkups Alexis came in for every month? "Um, in case none of the nurses informed you, I’m pregnant,” she intoned, secretly offended that Joanna still didn’t know by now, and if she was being sarcastic the girl hadn’t picked up on it. In fact, since gossip travelled faster than cars in this town, she was somewhat offended that no one had informed Joanna about her condition; not being talked about hurt almost as much as being talked about negatively. “Good afternoon to you too, sweetheart.” 

[alexiskeller]

[dailydeutch]

[alexiskeller]

alexiskeller  What a perfect way to end the week. Cone cakes (yes, there is a brownie cupcake underneath all that ice creamy goodness) and #RememberTheTitans  at @GalaxyDriveIn with my love @nixonkeller, @kanevsky, and @ffforgettings. The tears were real.

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