But my first thought is Soap didn't know it was real and doesn't even like Ghost in this AU and it was meant to be a joke so he could get more privileges as the "Lieutenant's Favorite"?
Okay, admittedly, my first thought was nonromantic Price
In the comics, it is stated that a good portion of the trauma is kind of what keeps him level
What happens when someone gets over the trauma without proper healing? Bones set wrong, infections fester without knowing, you hemorrhage.
I just can imagine a Ghost that still has all of the memories, learned all of the lessons, and no longer has the weight holding him down, but never learned what healthy feels like is going to be one hell of a beast
But my first thought is Soap didn't know it was real and doesn't even like Ghost in this AU and it was meant to be a joke so he could get more privileges as the "Lieutenant's Favorite"?
Hey Blue! What the fuck? Also, fuck you ouch. Also, yes he totally does. I think the pressure also helps him because then he doesn’t feel like he’ll decompose.
Yeah, sure, it's like mummification so that way no one else can see it. Like his glove gets yanked off at some point and he's genuinely shocked his hand doesn't come off with it
Sometimes he squeezes his arm and is convinced it squelches slightly and he swears he's still covered in the smell of rot (singed into his brain after using that corpse to dig himself out)
Something something Roach and rot necrophilia joke blah blah
I think he only showers for a lot of practical reasons don’t get me wrong. but i do think a small part of him believes that if he took a bath, it would cause problems. Being submerged in water like that and then taken out causes accelerated decomposition, a fact Ghost would know. He’d always worry he’d go to get out and pieces would fall off.
Also, that man leans so hard into this. That’s why he’s like that. He thinks he’s dead so he can do whatever because he can’t die. The epitome of fuck it I’ll walk it off
The GUILT he would feel for anyone who loved him, too. Not because it's him, though like... duh. No, because he's wasting their time. He's rotting, he has an expiration date, and they deserve to be with someone still alive or to love someone who is alive
Every I love you is met with "but you wouldn't. You shouldn't. And I know that, but why don't you?"
When you're delusional enough to believe it, but lucid enough to be functional (or barely in my case) there's a little part of your brain that says if you tell anyone, they'll think you're crazy.
Not because you're delusional, no. You know the truth, you know but they don't and they won't understand. You've almost been caught in the middle of episodes before and everyone thinks you're crazy and maybe this is the truth now, but why would they believe you when you've already "cried wolf" so many times?
And it's so awful. It's always awful. Whatever it is is AWFUL and so you feel almost this responsibility to shield them from the truth, the truth of your situation. You feel bad for them and, if you love them, it becomes... duty to hide it.
It's your responsibility to hide it.
So it becomes this little beetle that crawls around inside your chest. Always there, always a part of you, and sometimes very very visible.
I dunno, food for thought for you guys
I liken mine to a jewel beetle, just in case anyone wants to know :)
...Glad the personal experience is coming through for you guys
Price catches him scratching craters into his skin and, when Price asks him what he's doing, the reply of "maggots" is only too disconcerting. (He does take the time to once again remind Simon that no, he's not dead and he would really appreciate it if he'd start going to that therapist so one day, one day... Price might not have to fudge those evals.)
I do think Kyle is going to end up the one who manages to make some sort of progress with him. Soap is too emotional and only ends up making Ghost feel worse about it. That's even if Soap knows, to be fair, because Ghost is likely to just never tell him.
Alex kind of helps, but Alex is too emotional, as well, because all Alex wants to do is reassure Ghost that he'd be his friend, anyway, and that's cool and all, but Ghost thinks he's an idiot for even wanting to be his friend in the first place. So most of what he says ends up tuned out.
Price is the most helpful out of anyone close to Ghost because he has to be or no one would have ever let Ghost permanently be under him. Price can drag Ghost out of episodes, he can slap him back to sorts, and he can get Ghost out of his own head when he's triggered. But... under it all, he still believes he's dead.
All it really takes is Kyle, who still flinches if Ghost raises his voice too loud, to scrunch his face up and go "well, that's a bit dramatic, don't you think?" Whenever Ghost confesses the feelings to him and Ghost-
Woooooow going to steal how you help me for a tumblr post??? Woooooow
Anyway yeah Ghost has to sit with that. Because like… even if he is dead, he doesn’t know when his body will finally fail and he fall to pieces on the floor. His expiration date is a mystery. So is everyone else’s.
And… If he’s not dead, if everyone is telling the truth… that is going to be so goddamn embarrassing when he’s fixed.
So Ghost has to start reckoning with that.
I do think this has an unintended consequence of when Soap or Alex Get emotional about Ghost just “:/ really?”
Hey Blue! What the fuck? Also, fuck you ouch. Also, yes he totally does. I think the pressure also helps him because then he doesn’t feel like he’ll decompose.
Yeah, sure, it's like mummification so that way no one else can see it. Like his glove gets yanked off at some point and he's genuinely shocked his hand doesn't come off with it
Sometimes he squeezes his arm and is convinced it squelches slightly and he swears he's still covered in the smell of rot (singed into his brain after using that corpse to dig himself out)
Something something Roach and rot necrophilia joke blah blah
I think he only showers for a lot of practical reasons don’t get me wrong. but i do think a small part of him believes that if he took a bath, it would cause problems. Being submerged in water like that and then taken out causes accelerated decomposition, a fact Ghost would know. He’d always worry he’d go to get out and pieces would fall off.
Also, that man leans so hard into this. That’s why he’s like that. He thinks he’s dead so he can do whatever because he can’t die. The epitome of fuck it I’ll walk it off
The GUILT he would feel for anyone who loved him, too. Not because it's him, though like... duh. No, because he's wasting their time. He's rotting, he has an expiration date, and they deserve to be with someone still alive or to love someone who is alive
Every I love you is met with "but you wouldn't. You shouldn't. And I know that, but why don't you?"
When you're delusional enough to believe it, but lucid enough to be functional (or barely in my case) there's a little part of your brain that says if you tell anyone, they'll think you're crazy.
Not because you're delusional, no. You know the truth, you know but they don't and they won't understand. You've almost been caught in the middle of episodes before and everyone thinks you're crazy and maybe this is the truth now, but why would they believe you when you've already "cried wolf" so many times?
And it's so awful. It's always awful. Whatever it is is AWFUL and so you feel almost this responsibility to shield them from the truth, the truth of your situation. You feel bad for them and, if you love them, it becomes... duty to hide it.
It's your responsibility to hide it.
So it becomes this little beetle that crawls around inside your chest. Always there, always a part of you, and sometimes very very visible.
I dunno, food for thought for you guys
I liken mine to a jewel beetle, just in case anyone wants to know :)
...Glad the personal experience is coming through for you guys
Price catches him scratching craters into his skin and, when Price asks him what he's doing, the reply of "maggots" is only too disconcerting. (He does take the time to once again remind Simon that no, he's not dead and he would really appreciate it if he'd start going to that therapist so one day, one day... Price might not have to fudge those evals.)
I do think Kyle is going to end up the one who manages to make some sort of progress with him. Soap is too emotional and only ends up making Ghost feel worse about it. That's even if Soap knows, to be fair, because Ghost is likely to just never tell him.
Alex kind of helps, but Alex is too emotional, as well, because all Alex wants to do is reassure Ghost that he'd be his friend, anyway, and that's cool and all, but Ghost thinks he's an idiot for even wanting to be his friend in the first place. So most of what he says ends up tuned out.
Price is the most helpful out of anyone close to Ghost because he has to be or no one would have ever let Ghost permanently be under him. Price can drag Ghost out of episodes, he can slap him back to sorts, and he can get Ghost out of his own head when he's triggered. But... under it all, he still believes he's dead.
All it really takes is Kyle, who still flinches if Ghost raises his voice too loud, to scrunch his face up and go "well, that's a bit dramatic, don't you think?" Whenever Ghost confesses the feelings to him and Ghost-
Hey Blue! What the fuck? Also, fuck you ouch. Also, yes he totally does. I think the pressure also helps him because then he doesn’t feel like he’ll decompose.
Yeah, sure, it's like mummification so that way no one else can see it. Like his glove gets yanked off at some point and he's genuinely shocked his hand doesn't come off with it
Sometimes he squeezes his arm and is convinced it squelches slightly and he swears he's still covered in the smell of rot (singed into his brain after using that corpse to dig himself out)
Something something Roach and rot necrophilia joke blah blah
I think he only showers for a lot of practical reasons don’t get me wrong. but i do think a small part of him believes that if he took a bath, it would cause problems. Being submerged in water like that and then taken out causes accelerated decomposition, a fact Ghost would know. He’d always worry he’d go to get out and pieces would fall off.
Also, that man leans so hard into this. That’s why he’s like that. He thinks he’s dead so he can do whatever because he can’t die. The epitome of fuck it I’ll walk it off
The GUILT he would feel for anyone who loved him, too. Not because it's him, though like... duh. No, because he's wasting their time. He's rotting, he has an expiration date, and they deserve to be with someone still alive or to love someone who is alive
Every I love you is met with "but you wouldn't. You shouldn't. And I know that, but why don't you?"
Hey Blue! What the fuck? Also, fuck you ouch. Also, yes he totally does. I think the pressure also helps him because then he doesn’t feel like he’ll decompose.
Yeah, sure, it's like mummification so that way no one else can see it. Like his glove gets yanked off at some point and he's genuinely shocked his hand doesn't come off with it
Sometimes he squeezes his arm and is convinced it squelches slightly and he swears he's still covered in the smell of rot (singed into his brain after using that corpse to dig himself out)
Something something Roach and rot necrophilia joke blah blah
I think I'm to the point in both stories and setting up that I'm ready to start trying to post more about my work
What would you guys personally like to see the most? (Answer honestly, I have nearly all on hand)
Would you like to see...
Writing Excerpts?
Dialogue Excerpts?
Exposition posts?
Art info sheets of the various world elements?
Silly content?
Something else? (Specify*)
Voting ended onApr 8, 2025
I set the poll for a week so I plan to reblog with example posts as I finish them/have time (I've got a decent amount this week)
*Comments are always the best way to specify what you have in mind but if that makes you nervous, feel free to send me an anon with your ideas and I will post them to this post. All of them, send a second one if you don't see me add it in a timely manner.
Lol he sees "Government Defense Contractor" on an invitation to a Gala and almost doesn't go
Also Graves would likely have to attend so many Galas, Luncheons, and other smarmy political events and he hates every single one of them, even if he's going to pretend he's James Bond the entire time
OMG!! One event he straight up leaves the ear piece out and he like... actually has a good time?? Except he doesn't because Oz isn't in his ear reminding him who exactly is talking to him and why they're important and if they're allies or not but it's okay because like... fuck diplomacy or whatever
Lol he sees "Government Defense Contractor" on an invitation to a Gala and almost doesn't go
Also Graves would likely have to attend so many Galas, Luncheons, and other smarmy political events and he hates every single one of them, even if he's going to pretend he's James Bond the entire time
OMG!! One event he straight up leaves the ear piece out and he like... actually has a good time?? Except he doesn't because Oz isn't in his ear reminding him who exactly is talking to him and why they're important and if they're allies or not but it's okay because like... fuck diplomacy or whatever
Lol he sees "Government Defense Contractor" on an invitation to a Gala and almost doesn't go
Also Graves would likely have to attend so many Galas, Luncheons, and other smarmy political events and he hates every single one of them, even if he's going to pretend he's James Bond the entire time
Lol he sees "Government Defense Contractor" on an invitation to a Gala and almost doesn't go
Also Graves would likely have to attend so many Galas, Luncheons, and other smarmy political events and he hates every single one of them, even if he's going to pretend he's James Bond the entire time
Alex: Yeah I was depressed about my leg for like a week, it was awful
Alejandro: Only a week? That is impressive
Alex: Oh, no, I would have been depressed longer but Ghost has a unique ability to piss me off so fucking bad, I forget I'm depressed
Ghost: I called him Captain Alex the entire week
Alex: It took me that long to figure out what he meant.
Alejandro:
Alejandro:
Alejandro: *roaring laughter*
(Blue complained about this the first time I formatted it so she can fucking format it for me! So she formatted this.)
Smut, omegaverse, Omega Gaz, Alpha Alex
Something something, it's July and it's hot.
Gaz is desperate for his alpha to be home to provide several much-needed reliefs.
--
A slow fan rolled in the corner of the room. The sound of it was almost grating but Kyle would be damned if he was going to turn it off. June and it was unbearable.
Why did his father move them to the hottest bloody city in the country, too?
Well, maybe there were hotter cities.
However, Houston, Texas happened to be one of the hottest, he was sure.
To top it all off, he’d had to go and get himself mated to an alpha with pretty blue eyes and an absurd dedication to his city. Oh, he would have left if Kyle had only asked him but his friends wouldn’t and Kyle’s family wouldn’t. Neither would his own friends.
So, Kyle ignored the rattle of the fan that needed a new blade and rolled to his back, fanning himself. They’d called the apartment about the heat about fifty damn times, too. The AC wouldn’t turn on, it wouldn’t even start. Hell, the damn thing was hot to touch.
We’ll get to it.
Oh they’d get to it.
In December.
Nevermind, it was Houston. They’d need it in December.
Not to mention that Gaz had already used all of the ice so he had to wait for what was in the trays to freeze in order to maybe get some relief, later.
“Fuck, this is unbearable…” Kyle groaned, before rolling to check the time. Alex would be home any moment and he usually stopped by the corner store to get a soda when Kyle was off work. Which… he would be for a while, since some idiot had set the store on fire. A whole… chain of events that irritated Kyle to even think about so he directed his thoughts away.
So, Alex had to pick up extra shifts. Now he was gone all of the time which was horrible for Kyle because he was not the kind of omega to be able to go solo. Even before Alex, who was his one and only partner, he’d only tried it a few times.
Well, there was an incident with Rudy…
Kyle bit into his lip, eyes fluttering shut as he remembered the incident. Oh, Alex wouldn’t mind him remembering, since the alpha had eagerly listened to a recounting of the moment while Kyle rode him.
He’d purred, low and sweet, into Alex’s ear about Rodolfo pushing Kyle down and mouthing over his neck. About them both grinding slick parts together, to get friction, twice the scent of omega flooding the air. “Oh, baby,” he’d moaned as Kyle sank fully on Alex’s cock, fully seating himself.
“And then?” Alex had breathed, head fallen back against their broken headboard.
And then?
“Fuck…”
Kyle took deep breaths and then sat up, moving forward in order to tilt the rickety old fan just a hair more in his direction. It only gave him relief for a moment before remembered that this was one of those fancy expensive ones and he hit the switch before stepping back as the fan started to rotate from left to right.
Then, he stepped further back until he hit and then fell on his bed, landing on his elbows and then melting at the shocking relief it caused. Was it placebo? Whatever it was, it worked. He decided this would have to be enough until Alex came home and gave him the relief he really wanted.
The crux of heat blockers. No heat, no baby, but there still came… waves. And this was one of the worst of them. Maybe that’s why 104 felt like he was in an oven, perfectly heated to 450 degrees.
Hmm… And to think. He’d considered baking that day.
That would not be happening.
No, they would be taking what was left of Kyle’s last paycheck down to the restaurant that Chuy owned and getting themselves dinner there. Maybe Kyle would have a margarita… Oh god, no, alcohol just made him feel more hot and then he would die. Well, maybe not, but it’d feel like it.
So, he settled himself to just treating himself with a cherry coke and moving on. He’d made enough off the paycheck and their rent was paid. Nothing else really mattered.
Maybe a different kind of baking later… He knew that Alex planned to pick up a bag off of Ghost at work that day, as Alex worked with Alejandro and Ghost at Kyle’s father’s mechanic’s shop. Price had hired them when they were all teens, which is where Kyle and Alex had met, actually. Kyle had given into Roach’s pressure for him to just wear a crop top and shorts to deal with a not-so-dissimilar heat at bay. They’d ended up fucking in Alex’s busted up pickup truck. God, Alex just had a way with words…
Which then got Kyle introduced to Alejandro’s mate, Rodolfo, and Roach would later end up with Ghost. That had been six years… Time flied.
He turned himself onto his stomach and laid his head on his arms, melting into the blissful and much needed coolness now being provided by the fan. Finally. So he settled into the idea of sleeping in order to pass the time until Alex came home. As it was, the clock near the bed said 3:00 pm and Alex wouldn’t be home until 6:30, maybe even 7:00 if the shop was swamped.
So, he turned his head away from where rich sunlight funneled in through their thrifted curtains and settled in, considering pulling the sheet up and over himself since he was naked, but they lived on the fourth floor, so he supposed he didn’t care as much as he should have.
“Baby…”
Hmm? He’d only just closed his eyes… When had Alex gotten home?
He opened his eyes for only a moment to see the sunlight had turned to a burnt orange color, kissing over every object in the room. Kyle smiled and closed his eyes, just glad his alpha was home.
Lips moved along the back of his neck, where sweat cooled as cold air fanned over his body. It finally soothed the hot ache in his skin, though not deep in his core. The mouth along his spine did alleviate it, though, leaning to him keening and pushing his hips up as Alex ran his hand down what was left of his back and down over his ass before his fingers were brushing along where Kyle desperately wished they’d sink into.
They didn’t and Alex chuckled, slotting his body up against Kyle’s and only dragging his fingers back up to Kyle’s hip. The alpha rocked his body just the right way to nudge where Kyle could feel he was hard in his shorts. Fuck, had he stripped already?
“You know what I got for you baby?” Alex purred into his skin, back up in his neck. “I got you something special…”
Kyle moaned, praying it was his knot. He had already spent hours that day, it felt like, fantasizing about his long thick cock thrusting deep and hard into Kyle. He needed it and he’d beg if he had to.
“Hmm?” He breathed, anyway, to continue with whatever game Alex wanted to play. They always made it so much sweeter…
Alex groaned as he rocked up a bit harsher into Kyle, causing him to whimper and press back against him. “Fuck…” Alex cursed into his neck, gripping Kyle’s body to still him as he took deep breaths. “You feel that cold air baby?”
Now that he was still, he certainly could. He fully opened his eyes to look to his right, seeing the old busted fan was now sitting in front of the window where a soft hum came from an air conditioner unit that sat in it.
Kyle’s eyes went wide as his brain immediately spit out the cost he’d seen on TV for one, attempting to turn around but being stopped by Alex’s arm wrapping around him, his fingers playing with one of Kyle’s nipples, while his mouth made soft nips at his skin. “Fuck…” He panted, grasping at the sheets and again pushing back at Alex’s hips.
Alex responded with a curse and a sharp, punishing jerk of his own hips. “Look at you. I go through all of the trouble of installing a stolen air conditioner unit in our window, and you’re being feisty.”
“Maybe you could fix that.” It was a certain sort of bold that Kyle only got when he was experiencing this kind of bliss and desperation mixed together.
Alex chuckled, the sound rolling down Kyle’s spine and curling, hissing in his groan, leaving him to desperately rock forward into the bed. “Message received, baby.” He rumbled and then Kyle was released just long enough for him to move forward in order to roll over onto his back, much preferring to be able to see Alex.
Plus… well, Alex would get it nice and deep no matter what. Everything’s bigger in Texas. Oh how true that could be.
He’d heard boasting from Rodolfo and occasionally Roach about theirs. Kyle would never share anything about Alex, preferring to make a face and just roll his eyes instead. But… he knew his alpha’s was the biggest. That just wasn’t Rodolfo and Roach’s business.
Alex got his shorts down and Kyle dropped back onto the pillows as the alpha moved to cover Kyle’s body with his own, lifting one of his thighs as he did so. Had the alpha not gone through the trouble of installing the air conditioning unit, Kyle might not have appreciated this position and cussed him out. But, with the atmospheric equivalent to iced water fanning over both of their bodies, grinding up against each other… he couldn’t exactly complain.
“Mm… This feels like that night we couldn’t take it and fucked in an ice cold bath.” Kyle shimmied his hips to make sure he was in position, stopping Alex’s hand when he saw him reach into the nightstand. When Alex raised an eyebrow, he just got more comfortable and shook his head. He wanted something deeper that night. He could deal with the fear, later. He was on heat blockers, that would be enough.
So, instead, Alex hooked an arm under him and lifted his body up, lining up and then slowly starting to push in, causing relief to roll over Kyle in slow waves. “Fuck…” Alex cursed, his voice deepening, likely from a long day at work. They often had to shout across the shop at each other, Kyle knew. “The water was warm when we got out.”
“How ironic…” Kyle chuckled, breathlessly. His chest pulled tight at the pleasure but in the best way though he always remarked how pleasure felt like wanting to cry. “Did you really get the unit for me?”
Alex shrugged, his forehead dropping onto Kyle’s as he breathed for a moment. “You were hot, baby… I didn’t want you to suffer since you’ll be home alone…”
God, his man… “You spoil me, darling…” Kyle murmured, pressing his eyes shut and squeezing around the alpha, causing him to curse again.
“We’ve been fucking about every night since we were 16 years old and you are so unbelievably tight.”
“I don’t think we fucked every night that early in the beginning but have you considered that when you lay your cock on my stomach, it reaches my sternum.”
Alex laughed, grasping at Kyle’s body. “Fuck… You drive me crazy in every single way… The guys at the shop all say they want an omega like mine…”
The soft praise burrowed into Kyle’s chest, digging up a shiver that passed through him. “Other omegas would kill for an alpha like mine…”
Alex took his time before starting to move, rocking slow and deep with Kyle, almost in time with the fan, it felt like. In as it swept up their bodies, pressing deep until Kyle almost felt him in his guts. And then he would slowly pull out as the fan again swept back down, overwhelming Kyle with relief before taking it all away.
“You’re torturing me, baby, please…” Kyle pleaded, clenching around him again to get some sort of reaction.
And he got one with a punishing pace that had them both breaking a sweat, in spite of the air conditioner in the window. Only in their quiet pleasure did he finally make out that Alex’s radio was playing, left to a slow and soft love song. Kyle, himself, wasn’t much of an R&B listener, but Alex definitely was. So the channel choice didn’t surprise him, in fact it deepened his pleasure as Alex stroked particularly deep into him.
Alex moaned praises into his neck as he feverishly mouthed along his pulse point to accompany the almost sluggish but forceful thrusts he was giving Kyle. His body had also broken into a thin sheen of heat and his scent was thick in the air, pressing down on Kyle in the best ways.
It didn’t take long for both of them to reach climax together, Alex forcing his cock as deep as it could possibly go where his knot swelled and locked him so deep Kyle almost swore he felt him in his lungs. “You are who they’re talking to when they ask for their insides to be rearranged…” Kyle breathed, whining when Alex shifted and fell on him.
Then, Alex laughed softly. “You wouldn’t want anything less…”
“Oh god, what will I do if you die?” Kyle joked, burying his face in Alex’s shoulder. “I’ll never be satisfied again…”
“The things you do to me… You need to save these words for when I’ve had a bowl, baby, and then I can truly get up there and rearrange some things.” Alex purred into his ear, rocking his knot to somehow push himself even deeper inside Kyle before his knot was back to straining against his too tight entrance.
Kyle’s body thrummed with the remains of pleasure, but he settled down and reached up, playing with Alex’s hair. “Stolen air conditioner unit?”
“Not stolen by me. Ghost knows a guy who knows a guy who quit his job and wanted to dump his truck full of units. Asked if we wanted a few. So… I said sure. Worst that could happen is Ghost says he bought them off a guy who was selling them outside a hardware store. How were we to know?”
Normally, Kyle might feel a bit more off put but the cool air was so soothing on his sweat soaked skin that he didn’t mind and just decided they’d deal with the consequences later. Maybe by then their apartment’s conditioner would be fixed and he could just suffer that.
Maybe…
Maybe.
--
I might end up writing more for this particular universe as I'm currently editing and querying, so I have free time to write for myself. It's this or books based off the AUs I scrapped here, though I might do both.
I'm not bothering with a taglist here, they're so old that I doubt any of those original uses want to be on them anymore.
