Ali Adamsen at your service

21. Major: Undecided. Youngest & least successful of 5.

[jazlynisms-blog]

“No- no, you’re not. You were feeling bad, maybe you’re sick - I’ll tell ‘em, okay? Just calm down. In the worst of cases, you’ll retake it. Just don’t look like you’re perfectly okay.” They had to understand, didn’t they? Jazz let go of Ali’s shoulders once those were still again, and allowed herself to catch her breath. “As far as I’m concerned, spontaneous bipolar disorder is not a thing. You’ll be fine. Now, what the heck happened? Did you do anything weird in - like, the twenty-four past hours?”

[aliadamsen-blog]

Now that she was calm she was able to offer a half-laughing, entirely grateful smile up at Jazz. "You're the best, have I mentioned that lately?"

"Are you sure?" She asked pleadingly. It would explain so much of how she'd been feeling and acting today. "No! That's the thing, literally nothing's happened since I left the library yesterday. I just woke up and all of a sudden I'm like the poster child for extreme PMS." She said, talking a little faster as she rattled off her not-an-explanation explanation, but she stayed calm. Jazz had a nice effect on her, the girls needed to start hanging out more often. "I can't think of anything that's happened, seriously." 

[the-colossal-dork-blog]

Will bit his lip, thinking through what he could say, every instinct was screaming that he should pretend nothing at all was wrong. “Oh it was definitely weirder, but I’m not sure we need to go into that,” h e tried to brush it off, shoving his hands into his pockets - and wincing as he hear the pocket lining rip and he retracted his hands slightly. “I did manage to submit my project though, from the other night, “With only some difficulty..”

[aliadamsen-blog]

"So you offer weirdness and then just snatch it away from me?" She asked, playing up her usually dramatics and feeling better. "And here I thought we were friends Will." She laughed.

There was a little rip and she cocked her head at him, mufflign a giggle. "Are you alright there?" She asked, filing the 'some difficulties' away to ask as soon as he addressed the little tear.

[nadiarainier-blog]

Nadia didn’t know what was going on.

She had thought it was just a migraine at first. The buzzing in her ears was horrible, growing louder with each passing hour. And then, oh, then it had turned into voices. They were hard to pick apart at first. First, there had been too many and they were too quiet individually to pick out. But then, when she’d forced herself to finally go to class, it had gotten so much worse. The voices got all so much louder. And she could finally make out the voices.

They were simple things, mostly. I don’t know what I’m doing. What the hell is he talking about? She’s so hot, why doesn’t she notice me? But then, there were the more complicated ones filtering through. Am I too much like my dad? I wish my stomach would stop growling, I don’t want to eat. I’ve never been more high in my life, I wonder who can tell? I can’t believe I’m in class with people like this, none of them are even talented.

It just kept getting louder, until finally she’d gone to her gen ed for the day – Bio 101 – and after an answered question that was wrong, she’d heard the thought loud and clear. Fucking idiot students, I swear. Without saying a word to the professor, she gathered her things and left the class, coming to a stop at the end of the hall. Glancing around herself only briefly, she slid down the walls of the corner, pressing her head into her hands in hopes of making it quiet, at least for long enough that she could maybe try to get back to her room.

[aliadamsen-blog]

She couldn't even handle class right now, not in the mood she was in. She'd passed a couple arguing in the hall on her way in, and for some reason that had really pissed her off. Maybe she wasn't ok being on her own, that had to be the only explaination for the sudden feelings of anger, sadness, and inadequecy she was now sulking in.

Maybe she could just sulk all day and no one would find her or care. Maybe she'd eventually snap out of it because she really didn't like feeling like she was on perma-pms, it didn't mesh with the rest off her personality. She was a happy person dammit!

She trotted down the hall, feeling a little more at peace than she had earlier, until she suddenly felt stressed. Oh no. It was happening again, it was like the Econ exam all over again. Luckily she wasn't in an exam at the moment and... hey she knew that girl, half hidden away in the corner of the hall. It only took her a second to place a name with the half hidden face (she couldn't memorize for tests to save her life but she'd never forget a name and face), and call to her. "Nadia? Are you alright?" she asked, trotting over to the girl and plopping down alongside her.

[jazlynisms-blog]

Her day had begun…pretty normally. Rushing to the kitchen, carefully ignoring her parents’ face, grabbing a few toasts, an apple and running away. Jazz didn’t want to stay home longer than needed, and did nothing to hide how relieved she would be when she’d finally get hold of her own apartment. If they hadn’t realized she didn’t want to see them anymore, now was clear enough.

“Fuck it.” she muttered, holding a hand to her forehead. Since yesterday, the day she had returned from the library, exhausted and blinking at the sun, her headache hadn’t gone away. Actually, it was getting worse, as if it was spreading to her own body. What the hell was happening? It didn’t feel like sickness - just an ill, feeling of uncomfortableness she couldn’t get rid of, even with swallowing as many aspirin tablets she could without making things worse because of it.

At the break, she found an empty classroom and leaned against the cold wall, her breath short. And suddenly the pain was gone, leaving only a fresh feeling from her head to her toes. Her first feeling was relief, indeed. Finally. She looked down at her shaking hands, and couldn’t help but letting out a cry. Fortunately, the corridor was empty, because she wasn’t about to calm down. Not at all.

Her palms and wrists were growing green, emerald-like scales, that began spreading on her forearms and towards her shoulders. She tried to rub it off, but it felt like - well, it felt like real scales, as if she had touched a snake or a lizard. “Oh my God.” she muttered under her breath, trying to not panick, which seemed the most difficult thing ever at the moment. “What the hell. What’s happening to me?” she shrieked.

[aliadamsen-blog]

She heard a shriek and recognized the voice, and bolted toward it. "Jazz?!" Had the other girl found the guy who'd gotten her sister pregnant? Was she mid-murder? Was she being murdered? So many options flew through Ali's head as she ran toward the sound, but that made it worse.

No, not again. She was feeling fine, but the closer she got to the screaming, the more panicked she got. She couldn't breath again, it was a chest constrictnig type of panic, and she didn't know why. She wasn't even there yet, she didn't even know what was happening! She stopped, trying to control her breathing, trying to force herself to keep going toward Jazz.

it should have been easy. Her friend was in trouble of one sort or another, and Ali needed to be there. It was simple, it was her basic philosophy on life. She was needed and thus she was there. But she had a hard time forcign herself forward when every step worsened the panic. "Jazz?" She called hesitantly, taking a deep breath and stepping into the room to find Jazz alone, but not alright.

"What the hell?" She said, her curisosity overriding the panic for a second and allowing her to move closer, but once she was there the panic rose anew. "Jazz, are you alright, does it hurt?" It seemed a logical thing to ask, right?

[the-colossal-dork-blog]

Will smiled and nodded to her, he could manage a walk across campus fine, truth be told, he’d appreciate having some company, as long as he could manage not to break too many things and look like a freak. “That’s fine, I could do with stretching my legs,” he agreed aloud, “I kind of need a distraction… it’s been a weird week,” he added, an attempt at an explanation. But he couldn’t explain the week he’d been having, it was just too weird.

[aliadamsen-blog]

“Weird how?” She asked, eager to be distracted from her own issues. “As weird as having a mental break in the middle of an exam? Because if it’s weirder than that, I’m dying to hear.” She said, attempting a sad little laugh.

[jazlynisms-blog]

“What happened, Ali? Weren’t you supposed to be taking a test right now?” Jazz had caught up with her friend in the corridor, as she was alone, intending to talk to her - but apparently, the brunette wasn’t really in the mood right now. She grabbed her shoulders, making Ali look at her and locking eyes with her. “Okay. Breathe. Keep calm. And tell me what happened.” She tried to sound as motherly and reassuring as she could, pressing the girl’s shoulder and making her slowly lower them, decrisping them. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

[aliadamsen-blog]

"I walked out- oh my god I'm gonna fail I walked out Jazz, I don't even- it wasn't- I was doing well it doesn't make any sense!" Jazz touched her shoulders and she suddenly wasn't panicky anymore, she wasn't half crying and hyperventilating, even though her eyes were still brimming with unshed tears. She was worried, she was concerned and nervous but not panicked. It was easy for the other girl to unclench her shoulders, she wasn't tesnse anymore, at least not desperately so. She closed her eyes, opening them again and wondering if Jazz would think she'd lost her mind with her sudden calm. "I think I might be turning bipolar." She said with complete seriousness. "Can you get spontaneous bipolar disorder is that a thing?"

[the-colossal-dork-blog]

Her bouncing between words was confusing, but Will guessed that sometimes that just happened, he’d heard enough about girls mysterious hormones to not want to question it now she seemed calmer. “”Hey, you’re not crazy, you’re just having a bad day… do you… do you want some company? At least to your car or the bus stop or whatever?” He offered, figuring she seemed like she could do with some cheering up more. 

[aliadamsen-blog]

She knew she should decline the offer; he probably had stuff to be doing. But she was selfish adn still a little rattled and she wanted the company. "Yes please. I'm live in Jenkins Hall, on the opposite side of campus though, just to warn you." She was starting to forget why she'd been so panicked, now that she was calm again. It was weird, she rarely panicked, but she decided not to think on it. Maybe it'd just been a fluke, brought on by the added stress of the exam. 

[the-colossal-dork-blog]

Hey, hey it’s ok… here, look at me, take deep breaths. In and out slowly, eyes on me. It’s just one exam, it’ll be ok. I do know that feeling, I’ve had it lots, especially when I’m tired or stressed, you’re just having a bad day. It’s going to be fine.

[aliadamsen-blog]

He sounded like Jack when she was freaking out, and it went a ways to calming her. She watched him as he spoke, doing as he said and taking calming breaths, and she felt herself calming down. She could talk to the professor, cite a nervous breakdown or something, retake the test. It would work out in the end, it always did.

She nodded along with his words. "You're right. I'm just being crazy. It's not the worst thing ever, there's far worse that could have happened. Thank you." She offered, wanting to hug him but not wanting to invade his space for once. "I should probably head home, go eat my sorrows and a pint of ice cream." She joked, laughing. "Let you go back to wherever you were going before I had a mental breakdown." She added with an abashed smile.

[the-colossal-dork-blog]

Hey *Will reached out, but then withdrew his hand slowly not wanting to hurt her* Has something happened? Can I… can I get someone for you?

[aliadamsen-blog]

She shook her head. She was feeling calmer. Not the right calmer, the kind of calm you struggled to hold onto to keep other people from freaking out, which in and of itself made no sense since SHE was the one freaking out. "No. Unfortunately Jack's in training and I don't want to tell anyone else I walked out on an exam." He hadn't touched her, even though he'd reached for her, and she sort  of wished he had. Physical touch always comforted her faster than words. But she simply wrapped her own arms around her waist and tried to get it together.

"I just- it's been a really weird day and I don't even know what just happened back there," she said with a glance back down the hallway she came from, "and I've just... I don't know, it sounds weird but do you ever get that feeling where you're functioning but in your head you sort of feel like you're just watching yourself function, like you're disconnected?" She didn't wait for an answer. "I've felt like that all day, like I've just been watching myself be completely bipolar." She shook her head again and took a step backwards. "I'm sorry, you probably don't need me dumping my bad day on you, you're free to leave anytime I don't mind, I swear."

[dorotheapalmer]

“Ali! Are you okay?” She rushed to her friend’s side, placing both hands on Ali’s shoulders to get her attention.

[aliadamsen-blog]

She couldn’t catch her breath and she didn’t know why. There was a panic, more than just the panic of ‘what have i just done’, this was worse, it was like more than just hers, and she started gasping for breaths like she was having an anxiety attack. “Thea, I dont’- I can’t catch my breath. Is this a panic-” gasp, “panic attack?” She didn’t get panic attacks, not ever. She rarely panicked period, and her personality wasn’t one prone to panic or anxiety issues, something Thea knew better than almost anyone (except her siblings). 

What was happening to her?!

[nadiarainier-blog]

Ali’s excitement was was kind of cute, Nadia had to admit, and it made her laugh quietly, pulling up a second window for Facebook to accept the request. “I think I can deal with having a new friend,” she teased in return. “It’ll be nice having a friend who’s not questionably friendly while competing for my solos every time a new one comes up.”

Clicking the accept button, Nadia scanned her bookmarks for the link she wanted and sent it off to Ali while the other girl spoke, grinning back at her joking question. “Roommate’s obnoxious,” she admitted. “Liv’s nice enough, don’t get me wrong but there’s only so many nights I can put up with music so loud I can’t even hear myself think. So I hide out in the library instead. Tonight’s a music history project that’s got me hiding. What about you? What’re you working on tonight?”

[aliadamsen-blog]

“I can compete for your solos. I suck so it’ll add some entertainment to your day and as an added bonus, you’ll always know you’ll win.” She laughed. 

Her app dinged and she grinned, wiggling in her seat happily at the sight of the link via a message. Looking back up at Nadia, she nodded. “My sister was the same way. Drove my other sister and my two brothers crazy. Hers wasn’t so much volume as it was content. She was- still is actually- one of those ‘my music is indie and thus so much better and deeper than yours’ types. You just wanted to smack her every time she reached for the stereo. 

“Ooh music history, sounds fun. I have to say; I don’t know anything about any music history.” She confessed. “But I love music itself!” She tried to offer. “I am... pretending to study for a test I should probably really be studying for but that’s so deathly boring I might die of boredom and then I wouldn’t be able to take the test at all and wouldn’t that be so much worse?” 

[nadiarainier-blog]

Ali’s excitement over the movie was pleasing for Nadia, if she was honest – and also relaxing in a way she hadn’t anticipated. Perhaps she was more nervous over this whole night than she had realized she was, and she supposed the crack of thunder that sounded again wasn’t helping her nerves any. She could focus on the conversation, though, as long as Ali’s pleasant energy kept thrumming about around her s it was. “Tell you what – add me on Facebook, I’ll jot down my name for you, and I’ll link you to it to watch when I crack down and get into my project,” she promised, grinning back at the other girl easily. “It was my favorite musical when I was a kid, I keep a link to watch it online at all times so I have a comfort movie for when I get homesick.”

[aliadamsen-blog]

"You're the best!" She hugged the other girl quickly and immediately grabbed her phone and brought up the proper app, glanced at the little scrap Nadia wrote her name on, and added the other girl right then. "Bam. Done. We're friends as soon as you accept. Be wary, there's no going back after this." She laughed.

"So what's got you here so late? It can't be the ambience." She teased, starling a little as another boom of thunder sounded above them, sounding as close as though it were knocking on the roof.

[insert a gif of happy huggy Ali] 

[the-colossal-dork-blog]

*He draws to a halt, recognising the face but stays a distance back, not wanting to startle the girl who’d been so nice to him that night… before. * Umm… are you.. ok?

[aliadamsen-blog]

She looked up at the familiar face from the night before, and offered a watery smile. "Can I get back to you on that?" She asked, near in tears.

[insert gif of near crying Ali] 

[piercesutton-blog]

“Oh, uh, hey! Are you okay?”

[aliadamsen-blog]

“Wha- Pierce! Hi, I’m- yes, I’m-” She was on the verge of tears, and the lie seemed useless and she shook her head quickly. "No. I don't know what's wrong with me I just- I left, and I'm probably going to fail and I can't go back and I don't know what the hell I'm going to tell the professor and I just-" She realized she was rambling nonsense and took a breath, trying to calm down. "I walked out on my econ exam. I don't know why, and I don't know why I was so mad and frustrated and it felt like I didn't know what I was doing and I stood up and I walked out and it's crazy because I was doing so well and then all of a sudden it was like a switch flipped and I was walking out before I even knew what the hell I was doing." And now I'm going to fail and probably fail the class and I have no idea how to explain this to my family, she added silently.

"I'm sorry, I probably sound like a crazy person, ti's just- I've been feeling really weird today and now this and I'm just a little hyped up, I'm sorry."

[jazlynisms-blog]

“But you’ve got to recognize your family’s genes are pretty good.” the girl laughed. She hadn’t met all of Ali’s siblings, only Jack and Brianne, but considering the three of them, she was ready to bet the rest of the family was good-looking too. As for her parents, she had only caught a glimpse of their dad one day, and never talked. 

“Hang a note. It makes it look mysterious.” she chuckled. Jazz did know some cinema majors - but barely. Anyway, not enough to show up and suddenly suggest they use the library as a film setting. It would be terribly awkward, and she’d probably want to bury herself in her garden later on. “Well, snorkeling could be fun. You could get to travel to Australia, and spend your days in the Great Barrier Reef, teaching people.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I guess it’s about having a vocation for something. Like, you just feel like it’ll never bore you, because doing it makes you happy. Maybe you’re just taking some time to find one. But if I find some polyvalent job, I’l let you know.” 

“He’s bringing her home for dinner on some evenings. Can you just believe it? And Mom and Dad are so happy, like they’re the golden couple or something. They’d have a heart attack out of happiness if the two of them announced their wedding.” She rolled her eyes, pretending to be completely disgusted. “In fact, they’re shoving their cuteness in the face of my single status, which tears my conscience apart between I need no one and but it would be fun.” the redhead added with a laugh. Her face turned serious again, as she talked about Carla. “Jerk of an ex she had. Got her pregnant. Disappeared from the surface of the earth.” she sighed, trying to make her tone not-too-bitter.

“You can come anytime, honestly. It’s not like, something private at all, except if the interviewee disagrees.” 

[aliadamsen-blog]

“Oh please like you should talk you and your siblings are like model gorgeous.”

“Ooh, everyone loves a good mystery. Especially film majors right?” She laughed, seriously considering it for a moment before she was distracted by thoughts of snorkeling. “That would be so awesome! I’d love that.” She said, falling into thought about exploring around the Great Barrier Reef finding fish and playing with turtles. That sounded like something she could be happy doing. But- “What if I didn’t love it forever though? That’s always the catch, what if what if. And I…. have no clue what polyvalent means, forgive me?” She said, making a wincing face.

She groaned loudly, pretending to gag. “oh my god they’re so domestic it’s ridiculous and disgusting and I hate them and I’m jealous but I’m not.” She nodded in agreement with Jazz’s opinions. “Exactly! Like I’m perfectly happy on my own, doing my thing or trying to find my thing, and then they come along and make me question all my single happiness. Jerks.” She laughed.

Her expression went horrified. “What?!” She shrieked, lucky that they were mostly secluded away from the others. “That bastard! We need to hunt him down and like, kill him or geld him or at least maim him a little.” She said, huffing angrily. Granted, she didn’t know Carla all that well, but she was the sister of Jazz, who was Ali’s friend, and people didn’t mess with Ali’s friends without her getting worked up about it.

[dxrthe-deactivated20160321]

“But of course. Who could be more important than me?” A playful grin plays his lips as he nods, wishing he could dorm so that the school could be close instead of commuting on a daily basis. It got tiring moving from one place to another for an hour and a half daily.

“Are you sure about that? Remember that one time you tried to convince me you had been studying after stuttering and pausing for a good thirty seconds?” The memory of the event is still fresh as if it had happened yesterday, but he’s pulled from his thoughts as the sound of thunder erupts throughout the building and baby blues turn to look towards the door. “Yes, and I don’t want to be outside when that happens again. It sounds much more beautiful when you’re in safety rather than being stuck outside.”

[aliadamsen-blog]

“Nothing, that’s what.” She said. “But if you reeeeally insist on not bothering her you can always have my bed, keep in mind.”

She punched his arm again, immediately following it with a clingy hug. “No! No, no no, that doesn’t count I was off my game that day!” 

The thunder rolled over the library and she hugged him a little tighter before letting go. “Yeah, beautiful. Beautiful like a bright poisonous fish.” She grumbled, not liking the storm. It was unnerving her, and making her itchy and antsy. 

[the-colossal-dork-blog]

Will gave the woman a long look, before smiling, slightly in disbelief - he got the impression all of her siblings were older, but the way she acted made it sound as though she was a natural older sibling. “Well, if Sarah hears about you, she’s going to insist I let her come splash in puddles with someone who also has excellent taste in fun,” he commented offhand - he might tell Sarah about the girl when he told her about his day as usual, but the chances of them ever getting introduced were slim to say the least. 

Nodding, Will reached for the rock sample on his right hand side and held it out to her, “Here. Look at this… I know it’s ‘just rock’ but in truth, rock contains all sorts of other things, impurities, chemical compounds that make it up and when it gets broken down, these things make something really special… hell probably the only reason  our planet developed an atmosphere was because of lava releasing gases.” He carried on, not realising he was rambling, but he came alive talking about this stuff. “Lava creates a new base… unique plants and animals can actually live inside hollows in the cooled lava.. it’s evolution at it’s finest.”

[aliadamsen-blog]

“Awww, I’d be happy to go splashing about in puddles with her, she sounds adorable!” She grinned. “You don’t think she’d have more fun making her big brother do it with her though?”

“You... have a rock.” She said, muffling a giggle. “You come prepared with your own rock.” She stopped talking and set to listening to him go on and on, grinning excitedly as he talked about chemicals and compounds and gases and life. “The lava, doesn’t it kill what it touches? So would it be like it’s paving new ways for new plants or is it just one of those weird inexplicable things?”