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May 30

so when i'm not writing, i'm obviously reading an awful lot...

and i read just about everything from news and research articles to fanfic and published books.

but recently, my sister is discovering the whimsy that is "fanfic-esque" writing in her early 30s.

this is a post where i rant, because it is my right as the supreme ruler of this blog to talk as much as i want. to those waiting for part 3, she's in development, i promise.

but while we wait, here are my thoughts after reading fourth wing because my sister bought me the book and i felt obligated.

>> spoilers for the book below !! <<

the rough plot

so in this world, there are dragons and they are used to fight in wars and our protagonist, violet, must become a dragon rider because her mom said so, even though she'd rather be a scribe like her dad.

she manages to get into this college somehow where everything can kill you including your classmates and your teachers in special circumstances, and she has to survive as a disabled person with weak joints.

but there's this guy named xaden who's the senior directing her wing of students and he does NOT like her because her mom, who's a general, killed his dad after he tried to rebel. thus is the set up for this enemies to lovers romantasy book.

2. the general vibe

the enemies to lovers? a little bit stale, call it a saltine cracker with not enough salt so it ends up just being sadly, slightly bland.

the set up was nice, ill give it that. one of my favorite trilogies, the captive prince series, has a similar set up where each of the love interests killed someone or did something sinister enough to make the history between the two bad, even though they had never met before.

like i said, it starts promising, then kind of fizzles out after 60 pages or so. bit of a let down for me cause fantasy is the best setting for enemies to lovers. argue with the wall, i don't care, i stand on this.

now, the book places heavy, HEAVY emphasis on how dangerous this school is. there is death at every corner waiting for anyone regardless of grade year. the dragons themselves may decide that you're a chud and don't deserve to live, so they can kill you. your classmates can do the same thing, but not while you're sleeping because that's cheating (even though everything else is just about allowed). and if a teacher views you as a danger, ie you can read minds, you're a dead man walking (which is only mentioned once, a teacher snaps a kid's neck after he develops mind reading and it's never talked about again for the rest of the first book).

given all this death and danger, you think it'll be a nail biter of a story, right? yeah no, the death happens so often it has sort of looped back around to being the normal. and most of the people who die are people you barely get to know. so all the mental anguish that typically comes with witnessing a character die is missing because there was no time to form the attachment. except at the end when violet's friend liam died, i will admit that one kind of made me sad, and that's because we got to know him before he got murked.

also, all these stakes sort of never reach the main character. sure she gets hurt often because of her disability, and there are multiple moments where she is in a life or death situation. but every time it's happened, i've never once thought that she wouldn't live through it. not a single doubt that she wouldn't be anything but fine.

i think a good dangerous setting will make you fear for the life of everyone involved, main character included. so in terms of suspense, i felt nothing, no danger at all.

3. the dragons

one of the biggest reasons i actually managed to finish this thing was because of the promise of dragons. dragon riding sounds fun as fuck, like it can't get much cooler than that.

and personality wise, the dragons were pretty fun. but then the romance started cranking up the heat and they were kind of lowkey side lined. and that's when i really had to try to keep reading.

dragons give their riders powers, which i think is pretty cool. and they have a relationship with the government of this fantasy world because dragons are the predominant military strength that runs this place. there's a heavy emphasis on their importance, and for good reason.

except at one point, when the first feathertail (a relatively unknown type of dragon) takes part in choosing a rider for the first time in HISTORY, the general reaction is to bully it for being small?? and weak looking?? so much so that a few dudes actually attempt to kill it?? where is the importance, where is the sense of respect? are we in high school on a governmental level, because even military generals were calling it an embarrassment. this level of premature bullying felt like a joke, i'll be honest.

there's also this mechanic that dragons can sort of pass on their emotions to their riders and vice versa. which is a neat mechanic, but in this book, it's used like a version of sex pollen? because xaden and violet's dragon's are mates. and when their dragons get freaky, the lust travels over and then they feel like they need to have sex.

i have very little words for what i feel about this circumstance. it just feels... a little bit icky? like imagine if your horse who is also sentient has sex and you not only knew, but wanted to have sex of your own because of it. idk man i just feel like this didn't need to happen only once and then never again.

4. the worldbuilding

i LOVE a fantasy world, please don't misunderstand. but here's the thing, if you're going to use fantasy as your setting, then i expect the language and social culture to reflect it.

why are all these dragon riders talking like they were born in the 21st century? you are using words like "supreme" and "for the win" and "super badass" when you don't even have modern electricity, only magical lamps. maybe it's the history major in me that's pissed off about this but my god, it's 1876, act like it (it's not actually but like you get the idea).

and the magic system, it's dependent on dragons, which isn't a problem but how does dragon magic equal automatic ink pens?? how are you able to, as a lesser feat of magic, CREATE MATTER IN THE FORM OF MORE INK to automatically supply a pen with. how is that possible, am i just lacking in whimsy or something?

also, why are the DRAGON RIDERS the ones who get that magic, when the SCRIBES are right there and probably green with envy over said feat.

if i'm being quite honest, there is very little i can tell you about the world of fourth wing, as i just don't remember anything of significance that stuck out to me. which i think is enough said.

my final thoughts are this...

i get why people like this book, it was interesting enough to keep my attention. the concept was interesting and i liked the way violet and xaden worked together.

but if you spend more than 5 seconds thinking about this book, you will be confused and or slightly pissed off at it.

which is to say, part of the reason i was able to finish was because it made me nostalgic. fourth wing, if this was 2013, would've been published on wattpad and i would've been one of the first in line to eat it up like it was a gourmet meal.

i think this book is a lesson that people should be government mandated to read fanfic throughout the entirety of middle school before being allowed into high school.

#alice rants about books #sorry guys i needed to get this out #if you like this book then you like this book #please bear my critiques no mind and continue to enjoy it #anyways this will be happening again with other books that i feel strongly about so you have been warned

alice-everafter

May 27

to become What You Hate most

╰┈➤ in which Yuu must play the part of the perpetrator, all while forgetting that they’re also the victim

word count: 5.1k

<< previous (3)

Chapter 4:

Yuu’ve got to be kidding me

Night Raven Academy sat in the dip of a mountain range with only one apparent road in or out of campus. Bracketed on all sides by the rising tides of the earth, it was all but hidden from the eyes of the public on Sage's Isle. Because being hidden in the mountains and forest wasn't enough, the founders decided to place their magical, elite academy on an island. Just to really set the record straight for those who were not given the privilege of admission.

"Awesome view, right?"

You turn your gaze away from the window to Cater at your side. He's just the slightest bit too close, where you feel the need to scoot away subtly. But there's nowhere to scoot at the moment. You're already all but pressed against the bus's window.

"It's loads more aesthetic when it's daytime, and you're not inside a horse-drawn carriage," Cater says.

Your brows furrow. "Horse-drawn carriage?"

"Yeah. On orientation, the school gets like hundreds of carriages to take up the freshmen from the town for our first night. But it's done in the evening, obviously. So you can't really see anything on the way up."

"Oh, that's…"

"Dramatic?" Cater finishes for you.

"Sure," you agree. Even though you were thinking more along the lines of flatulent.

The bus rumbles and jerks with a particularly abrupt turn. Cater collides into your side and truly presses you into the window.

"Sorry." He smiles guiltily, even though he makes no move to, well, move.

"It's fine." You say regardless.

Eventually, the shuttle bus pulls around another bend in the road, and you get your first glimpse of Sage's Isle's only town. It looks small, but that's from a distance and at a higher altitude. The farther the bus travels down the mountain, the more you start to see the details. It's bright and vibrant, with roofs in shades of terracotta red. What it lacks in modern appeal, it makes up for in age-old character. The buildings look dated, like they've been built at least a century ago. And from what you can make of the town's layout, the roads aren't fashioned in a grid like other modern cities.

"It's pretty, isn't it?" Cater's voice sounds from over your shoulder, still far too close. He's smiling like he always is, if not with a hint of mischief.

"Yeah," you sigh, wondering not for the first time what you've gotten yourself into. "It is."

Nothing else is said for the rest of the ride. By the time you two step off the bus, it's early afternoon, and the town's square is alive with movement. It's a large, oval center of white cobblestone that encircles a raised mound of earth. At the top is what looks like a lighthouse, colored similarly to the rest of the buildings but duller, a clear sign of its age. The whole place reminds you of the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, with its streets branching out from the epicenter of the monument.

"That's one of the first buildings ever built on the island," Cater says, probably having followed your gaze.

"It's a lighthouse, right? Why is it in the center of town and not near the water?"

"'Cause sea levels change," Cater states, then shrugs. "Probably."

"Market is that way, towards the pier." He directs with a finger pointed to the left. "There's this one stall that sells the best sandwiches. You just have to get there, like, super early to snag one. Sadly, we're headed this way." Then he grabs onto your sleeve and leads you off in the opposite direction. Away from the square to join the other bodies walking.

As you try not to keep up with his long strides, you notice the lack of cars. There are a few, as well as the occasional bus, but it's predominantly bikes, mopeds, and carts on the road. What's more interesting than that, however, is the lack of vibrant hair color. At Night Raven, you've seen everything from bright orange like Cater's to black like Dire Crowley's. But here, it's predominantly brown with blonde being the runner-up. Every once in a while, you can catch a glimpse of dark green or even pink in one case. But not to the same frequency as on campus.

There's probably something there, some sort of social nuance you're aware of but not comprehending. You'd ask Cater, but he's preoccupied with looking down at his phone. And you're not feeling up to asking any questions. Considering how many you'll probably have to dodge once you two make it to the cafe.

Just thinking about it makes you feel nauseous with nerves. It's been two weeks since you found yourself here, and only one since you confronted Cater before someone broke into your home, then met Malleus. It hasn't even been a full month, and you feel like you're fraying at the edges. You're constantly hopping between blinding helplessness and obsessive planning. When one problem starts, you realize there are two more to go along with it. And once those are properly handled, even more are waiting for your attention. But that's not the end, because the further you go, the farther you'll have to backtrack once you realize you've made a mistake.

It feels like it never ends. You wonder if it ever will. How long will you be stuck in this exhausting loop? You don't know, and that scares you.

So you dive into this world as hard as you can. Every lick of your free time not spent in class is spent trying to catch up with the average citizen. There's only so much ignorance you can pawn off as being from your 'lesser' upbringing. You don't even want to know how much you've tanked Yuuri's grades so far. Immersing yourself is both the best distraction and the worst reminder, but it's all you have. Thus, it's only natural that Cater Diamond is one of your biggest distractions and the most grave reminder.

He's been messaging you on Magicam since you gave him your user. Everything from asking to eat lunch to questions about which classes you have. He's even offered to tutor you in a few subjects. You don't take him up on it for fear that he'll cash in on the favor later, but he's been persistent. Positively persistent.

If it were anyone else, you'd be flattered. But this was Cater, you remind yourself each time he somehow manages to find you in a crowd. When he's standing outside your classroom door, already waiting for you to walk out, even though you never told him what room your introduction to magical history would be in. If you're not careful, you could very easily get swept up in his attention and misunderstand what sort of place it's coming from. He is the paparazzi to your celebrity, not the friend you rendezvous with after class.

You may have something on him, no matter how minuscule that may be, but he could still find something on you. It's why this has to go well. You have to take control of this narrative like you did in your first week. All those days spent carefully containing your expression into blankness so that rumors would spread about your hard exterior were necessary to your survival. Never mind how cut off you felt from everyone imaginable; it was necessary. Better to be feared than to be looked down upon.

"Yuu?"

Like a snap in front of your face, you're pulled from your near spiral with a jerk of your head. Cater is no longer holding onto your sleeve; you're not sure when he even let go.

"We're here," is all he says. He gestures to your surroundings, and you find that both of you are already standing in line for a seat outside of a brightly pastel colored cafe. "Lost in thought?"

"Yes," you say simply while your eyes rake near desperately across the crowd for a subject change. That's when you notice that more than a few times in just a few seconds, your eyes connect with a stranger's, who then promptly looks away. "Is it just me, or are we being stared at?"

"It's not just you," he says. "That's normal for a Night Raven student."

You look to him at your side, one hand casually in his pocket and the other thumbing through some sort of website on his phone. "It's normal for college students to be stared at?"

"Night Raven college students, yeah." He flicks a few more times at his screen, then glances at you with a subtle eyebrow raise. "We're kind of famous, ya know? The entrance rate is less than 20 percent, so we're bound to get some attention whether we like it or not."

It makes sense, you think. Names like Harvard and Yale carry significance, so you imagine for Night Raven it is probably in the same ballpark. The more you look for it, the more you start to see. The pinched furrow to one man's expression, or the open awe in another's eyes. In another case, you swear you see lust behind someone else's heavy gaze. It all makes your stomach churn.

You want to push for a more thorough answer from Cater, but you're almost at the door, so you bite your lip and bury it for later.

Except you're reminded of it again when the cashier at the register openly flirts with Cater as he orders.

"Night Raven, right?" She asks with a hint of coyness in her tone, pointing at the school-issued blazer Cater wears and the band around his upper arm.

"Got it in one." He nods with a wink, a wink. "Ever been to one of our events and seen the campus?"

"Never," she admits with a shake of her head. "It's always impossible to get on the wait list."

"I bet," he throws back with a smooth and easy grin.

"Cater," you suddenly interject, just about blurt out. Now both of their attentions are on you. Shame and embarrassment make your palms instantly clammy, like you've ruined their moment. Like there isn't a line of people you can feel staring daggers into your back. "Are we done here, or can I find us a table?"

"Oh, yeah, let's go sit." He smiles, all innocent and without a hint of remorse.

With the number for his order in hand, you walk with steady strides towards an open spot you could see outside. You take the seat with a view of the street, and Cater takes the one right next to you. Then proceeds to scooch his chair closer to yours.

"It's busy," you comment. Taking care not to look at him or bring attention to his proximity.

"It's a limited edition menu in collaboration with another brand."

"Do events like these happen often here?"

"As often as they happen anywhere else." He leans back in his seat and lazily drapes an arm across the back of yours.

This game was getting old really fast. "Want to tell me what you're doing all up in my business?"

"Oh, sorry." As quickly as he put it there, he moved his arm away. Without any further fanfare. "I tend to get really friendly, really fast with people I know."

Cater doesn't seem to be doing anything wrong. He's casually reclined in his chair, phone placed down on the table, and attention directed towards you. When he sees you watching, he smiles, bashfully apologetic.

Bullshit, you want to call. Just stop playing all these mind games and get it over with.

"It's fine," is what comes out of your mouth. "Just try not to do it again. I like my personal space."

・・・・・⟢・・・・・・⟢・・・・・・⟢・・・・・

Cater is snapping photos of his elaborately constructed frappe and its accompanying tiered hor d'eurves platter. There are mini sandwiches, cheesecakes, cookies, and tarts on four different plates. The presentation is very cute, you have to admit. You get why he wanted to come here.

But the second he's done getting photos on both his phone and digital camera, he's pushing the sugary drink over to you and typing away at his screen.

"So what's this rumor about you being a murderer?" He doesn't even look up as he says this.

"Not bothering to dance around the topic then?" You try to push as much bravado as you can into your words, hoping it masks just how jittery with adrenaline you feel.

"Figured I'd might as well start with the big question of the day, right?"

You watch as his thumbs move fast across his screen. Once he realizes that you haven't said anything, he looks up. Only then do you decide to answer him.

"I was put on trial for the murder of a boy at my last school." It feels like you're reading lines from a script, and in a way, you are. Pulling from the little bit of information Yuuri has actually confessed to. "I was never actually convicted, if that's what you were wondering."

"Everyone knows that." He sets his phone face down and leans onto the table with his elbows, reaching for a piece of the cucumber finger sandwiches. "The trial was deemed inconclusive."

You hum in agreement, picking up the drink and directing the straw to your lips. It's sweet, but not to an intense degree. It's rather good, actually. If anything, it helps to settle yourself a little through the sugar coating your tongue. "Anything else that you found while searching me up? Something that no major news source bothered to elaborate on?"

He thinks about that, chewing and swallowing another sandwich while you reach for one as well. It's a simple tea sandwich, and yet it's packed with flavor. At least the food made this excursion even more worth the trouble.

"… You have magic in your bloodline somehow, don't you?" Cater eventually decides to ask. His green eyes haven't left your focus since this conversation started. "Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

You nod, not bothering to explicitly confirm or deny the statement. Yuuri themself never did either, just commented bitterly on how long it took to manifest.

"That's rare," Cater goes on while waving around a half-eaten sandwich. "Magic typically stays visible in a family for generations unless it fizzles out prematurely from some sort of illness or accident. And yet your coloring doesn't suggest that you have it."

Then he gestures up towards his head, and the pieces fall into place. Magic can manifest in hair color. So all those brightly colored greens and reds and purples you've seen on campus are a sign of magical lineage. It's why most of the town has colors like blonde and brown. Those few instances of color were from other Night Raven students, most likely.

"I know," you say, in full confidence. "I am very aware of that fact. But I don't know my biological family, so there's still a possibility there, right?"

"You're an orphan?"

"Didn't find that in your research?"

He hums, poking at a lemon tart with his fork while he thinks on that.

"But if you need further proof," you go on, feeling electric with impatience to finish this off. "Then what do you know about the Magic Marshall?"

Suddenly, his attention feels airtight. Everything about him stops as he blinks and stares with wide eyes.

"So it's true then?" He murmurs, not at all in the same range of volume that he's been typically speaking at. "There was one at your trial?"

This was the one piece of information you had that you weren't entirely sure about. The title was thrown around a lot near the end of the first book by everyone and their mothers. Yet no one, not even Yuuri, confirmed whether it was true. So you did your own digging.

A Magic Marshall is a special division of the law that deals with crimes relating to magic and the appearance of it. In some cases, magic could be the cause of death, and in others, it's just something found in traces as a diversion for the professionals to fumble over. That means in Yuuri's case, it could also be any of the above options.

Looking through every single news report of the crime turned up nothing. Just talk about a new, unnamed student at Night Raven who was connected to the murder of another student after being the last person seen with him. Yuuri's name was pulled from most of the major reports, the only ones that included it being lesser publications like those run by blogs or gossip columns. And it was through those same columns that you found your own confirmation.

In one column, in a post that has now been taken down, there was a grainy picture of a man in robes seen entering the place where the crime was committed alongside an escort. The typical uniform of a Magic Marshall.

It's not the greatest source of confirmation. If anything, it's more like a shot in the dark. But there must be some truth to it if Yuuri is here at Night Raven now. Surely the academy that prides itself on the noble lineage of its students wouldn't sully the pot with an outsider just for the fun of it.

Besides, the information on this case in particular is locked tight. Most of the known facts are from general statements given by the police and Yuuri's lawyer, whom you have no idea how to get in contact with, by the way. Everything else related to the case is just about impossible to find. You might as well call it non-existent. Which is both a blessing and a curse for you.

Because there is very little known about Yuuri's almost murder charge, you also know very little. But it's thanks to the fact that nothing is known that you have a bit of wiggle room to start stretching the supposed truth. Since you are currently possessing the body of the only known perpetrator, you're now the best source around. And the beauty about Night Raven is that the information running around within its walls is just as locked tight as the circumstances surrounding Yuuri's trial.

Now you can only hope that no one nefarious is nearby to see you nod to Cater, confirming what others have been speculating since the picture first leaked.

"I'm here for a reason," you tell him while staring down an immaculately decorated mini cheesecake. "That's all I'm willing to say, given our current location."

He huffs with a wide grin stretching across his face, reaching up to wind a strand of hair around his finger. "Relax, there are so many people here, all the noise would drown us out. And who would want to listen in, anyway?"

"I have no idea," you enunciate while making pointed eye contact with him. He just looks at you without an ounce of fault whilst taking a bite out of a tiny tart.

"You should try these." He moves on, placing a tart, one of the cheesecakes, and two cookies onto your plate. "They're really good."

For all that you've gotten decently good at misdirecting questions and claims, Cater is just as good, if not better. But the smile on his face seems genuine right now, if not especially pleased. You've given him what he's wanted, a scoop. You're not all too sure how he'll use it, but what's done is done. You've proven your worth; that should be enough for him to keep you around.

・・・・・⟢・・・・・・⟢・・・・・・⟢・・・・・

The afternoon bleeds into the early evening as you both walk back to the shuttle pick-up. Cater seems content to walk in silence, so you do as well. The streets are still active, but you're not actively trying to dodge incoming bodies anymore. It's a lot more relaxing. And coming off the success you've had thus far, you allow yourself the break as you regard your surroundings.

The town really is gorgeous. There are elaborate light fixtures on either side of the street. There are no lanes for cars or otherwise, but you do watch the occasional moped and plenty of bikes whirl on past. Every building has its own special character that makes it both unique yet similar to the rest. It makes you wonder about its history, about the similarities that this town may hold with ones from your world. Twisted Lovers focused so little on its setting that this scenario you've found yourself in might just be a blessing to your world-building-starved heart.

"Hey, Yuu?" Cater pipes up for the first time in a while as you guys wait to cross the street to get to the town's square.

"Hmm?"

"Are you expecting anyone right now?"

Your face scrunches in confusion. What kind of a question is that? "Besides you? No. Why do you ask?"

"Oh," he says, and you look to see him facing straight ahead with a perfectly calm expression. "That's interesting. 'Cause I totally think someone is following us."

Your heart sinks like a brick into your stomach. "What do you mean?"

He casually shuffles closer to make sure you hear him. "I mean, that there's a guy in a hood and mask that's been following us for the past two minutes."

Hood and mask. The description makes your head swim with a million questions, even though it rings all the bells.

"The hood wouldn't happen to be black, would it?"

You don't bother looking up to see what his face might look like. You can already feel his eyes attempting to stare holes through you.

"Not your first rodeo then?"

"Sure," you sigh, a humorless attempt at a laugh, feeling the cold sweat drip down your back. "Something like that."

This had never happened before. Yuuri Kuroshi had never been stalked in the town in the main story. At least, not in the first. Had you sped up the plot? There's no way, it's only been two weeks. How fast could you possibly pull ahead in just two weeks? The only thing that's changed is the photo evidence you've collected from the break-in, and the reputation you've garnered on campus. But only Crowley knows about the photos. And Malleus knows about the break-in. You didn't say a thing to Cater; you made very sure of that. Lord knows he'd publish that story in a heartbeat.

Does that mean Crowley started talking? There's no way it was Malleus; his isolation from the rest of the school populace was made very clear. Except, how sure of that can you be? Or was it just you? Was your behavior so out of character that someone figured it out and intends to corner you? Was your end already here?

"Yuu," Cater's voice is a lighthouse in the wake of the storm rampaging through your mind. "Breathe, you're seriously freaking out right now."

"Gee, I wonder why." You bite back, too stressed to hold your tongue. "It's almost like I actually am freaking out right now."

He grabs onto your shaky hand and squeezes. "Then let's lose him." Then he's pulling you across the street as the signal changes, slithering between bodies and into the crowd.

You stay as close as you can once you collect yourself enough to keep up. The square is still alive with as much commotion as it had in the early afternoon. It's not hard to follow the flow of people and blend into the masses. You don't look back until you and Cater are almost at the other side of the square. Then you chance a brief glimpse over your shoulder. It takes a second, but you spot him. A lithe-looking figure clad in a dark ensemble with a hood pulled over his head and a mask to hide his face.

"He's still following us." You lean up to inform Cater as he looks both ways and pulls you across the street. "It's probably because of your hair, it's easily recognizable."

"That just means we have to lose him another way." Then he takes off into a sprint down the road, dragging you along for the ride.

People look at you both as you pass, probably wondering what has two Night Raven students running like they're being chased. You, on the other hand, don't bother thinking too hard about what sort of scene you're making. You're too focused on breathing and trying to keep your feet under yourself. It's when the streets start to get more deserted, and the pathways start to narrow, that you hear it. The whispered chants that fell from Malleus' mouth as he warded your house. But this time, coming from Cater.

It's not to the same degree as Malleus, where you could all but taste his magic in the air. But it's enough that goosebumps prick at your skin where his hand still holds on tight to yours. Then, right when you round another corner, right before you pass the opening of an alley, Cater pulls you abruptly into it. And there, right as your path diverges, the after-images of you and Cater continue to run down the street. While the real two huddle behind a giant waste bin.

Cater urges you to press into the wall, bracketing you in with his body as he continues to whisper, to chant. "I am him, and he is them, I am him, and he is them." His face is pinched in concentration, trained at your feet. You watch a bead of sweat roll down his forehead to his furrowed brow. This close, he smells like aged vanilla and ink.

Distantly, in the background of your mind, you can hear the thundering steps of someone running past the alley you both are hiding in. Once the footfall is far enough away, Cater gasps like he's coming up for water, only to grab your hand again and peel out of the alley back the way you came.

You don't stop running until you're back near the square, when you can once again blend in with the crowd. Cater's steps slow, and slow, then stumble. Your worry doubles as he nearly trips over a curb. Moving to his side, you lace your arm with his and drag him towards the shuttle bus. Flashing the driver your student badge, you're allowed to board. You all but shove Cater into the window seat and plop down beside him. He sits down like he's dead on his feet, then slumps against the window with a weak groan.

You're still panting, all but wheezing as you hear the bus doors close and the engine start. Then you're pulling off into the trail of other carts and bikes.

Neither of you says anything for a while. Your lungs are burning, angry from the continuous exertion. Sweat makes your clothes cling to your body in all the ways that are overwhelming. You realize your hands are shaking as you wipe at the sweat on the back of your neck.

Cater looks almost unresponsive, the only reason you're not panicking is that you can see his chest heave with his breaths. When the buzz of adrenaline finally starts to wane, and you can hear things other than the sound of your own heartbeat, you lean over to look at Cater's face.

He's pale, but he always has been. Except right now, you swear he looks sickly, faint. Without really thinking about it, you reach out and touch the back of your hand to his clammy forehead. His eyes peel open, like it pains him to do so.

"Was that…" You try to ask, but stop. Not knowing if he's able to respond in the state that he's in.

Eventually, he nods with one slow tilt of his head. "Yeah… Unique… Magic."

It's been mentioned before in class, during your introduction to magic course. Unique Magic is a title given to special spells passed down from generations and generations of mages. Though the general specialty type may stay consistent, each rendition changes as it's developed and discovered through the mage's own magical capabilities into different variations.

"I've… never seen someone cast for that long." Besides Malleus, you've only seen displays of spell work from the professors and the occasional student. But even then, it's rare for such a high level of visible effect to be cast successfully. Let alone by a human mage.

"I'm… a third year… for a reason, ya know?" He sluggishly says, then grins, tired yet prideful. Even as he sits here looking very much worse for wear.

You sigh, feeling worn beyond your years. "Thank you for pushing yourself like that. I don't know what we would've done if you didn't pull that off."

"It's no biggie." He shrugs with only one shoulder, the one not pressed up against the window for support. The bus jerks and rumbles as the road starts to lead up into the mountains. "… So, did you know… who that was?"

You knew it was coming, but still, you can't fight back the flinch his question evokes from you. There's no way out of this. How the hell are you meant to spin this in your favor?

You look down at your lap, where your hands fiddle with a loose thread from your pants. Your sneakers, Yuuri's sneakers, are worn beyond their years. They've clearly been put through the wringer for longer than they were made to. Compared to Cater's fresh-looking designer pair, it's a sad sight. But Cater also looks similarly sad, with his sweat-soaked hair and pallid skin. He didn't need to go that far for you, but he did. Surely that has to mean something. You can only hope it does.

"I haven't the faintest idea," you tell him, feeling like you have to push the words out of your throat. You follow his lead and lean back in your seat, letting the tension of the day weigh you down. "I've already been targeted once, I just didn't think it'd happen again."

"Would you believe me if I told you I didn't kill anyone?" Slumped near his shoulder, you turn your head towards him. He's still leaning against the window, but his head is raised, and there's a bit more color to his face. His eyes are overactive as they take you in. They're rather pretty in this moment, you think. The beginnings of the setting sun make them seem even brighter than normal. Not to the neon levels of Malleus' but still illuminant-like. Vibrant like the color of summer, when the grass is at its most colorful.

He clears his throat, and you blink away the mood that had settled over you. "Yes," he answers, then repeats, "yes, I would."

Something eases in your chest, maybe one of the many weights you have been made to bear upon your conscience. Whatever it is, it feels like relief. The two of you don't say anything else for the rest of the journey back to campus. You're not sure if that's a blessing or a curse.

・・・・・⟢・・・・・・⟢・・・・・・⟢・・・・・

tag list: @the-holy-pigeon @human-v7 @0genni5 @cherrybomb5000 @iamprodigious @evermore-07 @lovesick-fairy @loyalkatniss @dweeb-central @mousedit @wtfamidoingwhithmylife @lioness-of-brittany

#this was very long and i did this in a singular work shift #also haha did anyone order more cater???#cause boy oh boy did i deliver #as always please tell me your thoughts and critiques #i love reading them all #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst wonderland #twst #twst scenarios #twst imagines #twst au #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #cater diamond #twst yuu #alice writes twst

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