For instance, one of the regulars I mentioned, never has used me sexually. He is close friend of Master, he was proposed but he laughed it off.
Mine service to him is being his ash tray. No extra condions, no ceremonies: when he is hanging out with Masters either at their place or somewhere out, I know I will be used as ash tray. He calls me "Ash girl".
Whenever he lights up cigarette I am to be around to be of service, and usually he just waves and I either come closer, or even go down on my knees and open my mouth. Depends on his gesture.
He shakes the ash in my mouth and I stand like that, keeping my mouth open. It tastes awfully and each time I know I will sense the taste even tomorrow. Usually he doesn't acknowledge me even, just keeps going with his dialogue or whatever.
I remember the most intense time, once we were at his apartment and he went out to smoke on the balcony. He shouted "Ash girl", waved, and I went out to the balcony with him.
There was a heavy rain there, and part of the balcony was not covered by the roof and the water was just going down. Now fully, but still. He positioned me right in the place and explained it is more comfortable for him. I stood there, on harsh cold wet cement floor, the floor hurt so much and it was so uncomfortable and wet. Its texture felt like it was made to hurt bare skin. The drops of water instantly moisturised my dress, ruined my hair and made me look very pathetic. And he just enjoyed his cigarette looking across the horizont, not paying attention to me.
My dress was soaking wet afterwards, my knees red and hurt, and the taste of the ash in my mouth was especially bitter. I have received change clothes afterwards though.
It doesn't have enjoyment part for me physically. It's just providing service. Feeling the ignoring of me as person, the humiliation of being used, that are the parts that make it work for me.
Twice he put the cigarette off against me: once again my skin and once against my tongue. The pain is so special and hurts as hell and so deeply, even as masochist I don't enjoy it.
But usually it's only for ashes, then he puts its off and throws the butt in my mouth. I have to keep it until he leaves, if he decides to have another I have to hold it in my mouth untill he is done with second, while he continues use me to put the ash off. Only when he leaves I am allowed to put it out my mouth.
I am not told to swallow butts, but I can be told to swallow ash.
That's almost all interaction we have between each other.
romaincrisis
gamechangershow
discoholicmusic
gummygunk
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