a good vampire

Alice Zhou, new yorker, bi af. American, Brazilian, Chinese. Been 24 since 74. I'd rather not talk about the 90's.

[alicezhou]

alphakage​:

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Alice kept talking about him like he was something out of a myth, like there weren’t one million Scotts in their state alone, God only knew how many there were in the world. It bothered him, although he attempted to understand that it came from a place of love. The werewolf did feel relief when Alice admitted she could give back what she had stolen. He had been thinking about doing it himself, but the way a werewolf might’ve gone about it? It was far more intrusive than a vampire’s way would’ve.

There were so many things Scott wanted to ask her about, many things he needed to say… But as their gazes met, Scott realized he would have to swallow his anger and pain, and share her own. It was silly to think Scott would have to educate a vampire on how love worked… When he’d been so self-conscious of himself as a man and partner, living up to her expectations. Scott could see the irony, which just angered him further. 

Because how could she not understand that you could be angry at someone, and still be in love with them?

When love was real, regardless of the form it took, it allowed room for anger and sorrow. Because it lived off forgiveness, understanding and faith. Scott sighed loudly, standing up from the seat he had taken. “I’ll go with you tomorrow.” Scott reached down to pull the vampire to her feet and into his arms. “You fear you’ll lose me, but I fear you’ll lose yourself… I love you and I understand… but I’m hurting too. For Braeden.” Brae deserved better, and just thinking on what her reaction would be pained Scott deeply. 

When Scott got up, Alice braced herself and tried to be prepared for what comes next. There was no way she could actually be ready, though. If she could just hold herself up until he went through the door, that would be enough. But then, instead of walking away, Scott did the thing she expected the least and hoped for the most. He pulled her into his arms. Even if Alice didn’t understand what was happening, she didn’t have to think before reacting, hugging Scott close and hiding her face in his shoulder. They both felt broken, but she was safe. She was home.

“What... What are you..?” As Scott spoke, Alice held him even tighter, as if she could disappear into his arms and never have to face whatever else existed outside of his embrace. “Scott... I...” He wasn’t leaving. She wasn’t losing him. It made sense, it was obvious, and, at the same time, it was the most batshit crazy thing that had ever happened to her - and she was a freaking vampire. “I’m so sorry I hurt you both. I love you so much, so much more than I can explain in words, and I’m so stupidly in love with you, in a way I just never felt before, and I’ve been around for a while, you know.” She whispered, with half of her brain still trying to process the fact that she wasn’t losing him. 

“And I haven’t been in love with Braeden for quite a while, but I still care about her as a friend, and as a person, and I still admire her so much.” It seemed like a silly thing to reinforce in such an intense moment, but she needed Scott to know that her heart was his and only his. “I mean... You’ve met Braeden, she’s a human who can hunt down alphas and rippers without getting any dirt in her italian boots, and she also cares so deeply about honor and about what’s right. She didn’t deserve this shit, and neither did you, and it’s the thing I regret the most in life, except for listening to Katherine in the 90s.” Nothing could be worse than allowing herself to be triggered into ripper mode, but erasing Brae’s memory came pretty close.

She closed her eyes and just stood there with him for a moment, trying to calm herself down from the confusing, conflicting list of emotions taking over her at the moment. “Are we gonna be okay?” She asked, finally, feeling very silly again, but she needed to know, to hear it from him. “And I think we still gotta go to the drive-in, right? I mean, nearly the whole Pack will be there.” Alice felt awful for giving Scott one more thing to stress about when he already had so much on his shoulders, with even a fun movie night being a reason for him to be wary for the safety of the entire town. Still, maybe at least they could forget their problems for a bit and watch Wonder Woman be her stunning self. Maybe.

[alicezhou]

revivcled​:

the  presence  is  more  than  welcome.  while  they  might’ve  started  off  on  the  wrong  foot,  elena  liked  to  think  alice  was  a  true  friend.  “that’s  sweet,”  elena  said  as  she  sat  up  to  be  eye  level  with  her,  “but  i’m  going  to  walk  with  aiden  and  elcin,  if  i  see  her  around.  roomies  stick  together.”  because  even  though  she  might  not  be  a  werewolf,  SHE  APPRECIATES  PACK  MENTALITY  TOO.  “are  here  with  scott?”  elena  wondered,  wondering  how  the  results  of  their  talk  came  to  play.

Alice was happy to see Elena mention Aiden again. “Why do I get the feeling I’m not the only one that’s crazy in love right now?” She teased, waiting to see how Elena would react. Then, she left out a happy sight at the other’s question. “Yeah, he’s probably walking around and checking if everyone is safe, as he does.” One of the things Alice loved about Scott was how he was always, always thinking of everyone else. “And it turns out you can disagree and fight and still have a loving relationship. The more you know...” Elena did advice her to just tell him the truth and trust that things would work out, but it was so hard for Alice to believe that he wouldn’t just walk away from her...

[alicezhou]

ofconfusion​:

“ thank you. when will others learn i can’t say no to a bet ? “ if anything it was a lot like telling malia she couldn’t do something. just made her want to do it more. or in this case showcase she could do it. with ease she catches the small truffle, a grin from ear to ear. “ that was actually pretty good, a lot better than the popcorn.”

“I know that, and that’s exactly what I fear.” She laughed. Malia’s sense of self-preservation could be close to non-existent when she was challenged to do something. And it just made Alice more fond of her. “Lucky you, I have enough sweets to feed a small army tonight.” Alice said, clearly radiant with any compliments to her food.

[alicezhou]

ofconfusion​:

“ oakland. and wow ! may i ask where in new york, close to the big apple ? i’ve always wanted to visit there.” peyton nods her head, giving the other an appreciative smile for the information. “ i’ll keep that in mind thank you.” her voice lowers considerably, as if to prevent anyone close in proximity for listening in.“ i’m guessing you’re apart of that whole other world that exists out there ? as nice as that would be, i probably can’t leave.”

“Except for Staten Island, I’ve lived in every NYC borough, and I’ve also spent some time in other cities in the state. NYC really is an incredible city, because you can find just about everything there.” She felt nostalgic talking about home, thinking of the places missed and the ones she was still to meet. And then, Peyton said she can’t leave. Oh. “I actually don’t think I can leave right now either, and I don’t know for how long that can last.” Her voice was lower, trying to figure out how much she could actually say. “So, you’re saying you’re stuck in Beacon Hills too?” She would get the message if she got the message. That’s how far Alice could go without further confirmation. 

[alicezhou]

ofconfusion​:

“ it’s so good together, the popcorn has to have salt though and extra butter.” ellie didn’t mind sharing one of her favorite food hacks.“ it’s so good trust me. and i’d say probably vanilla. so it doesn’t overpower the salt.”

“I love just about everything that you just said. I maybe would go all out and have a chocolate milkshake with the popcorn anyway, but that’s probably because I’m obsessed about chocolate.” Half of her favorite recipes to cook or to eat were chocolate based. “I’m gonna try it with the vanilla, though.” The girl sounded like she knew what she was talking about, so it was worth a shot.

[alicezhou]

ofconfusion​:

“ i completely get it, it’s a big change for me too. and being far from home. it’s kind of scary but also kind of exciting too.” peyton couldn’t help but agree, but being close to her best friend ? is a major plus and made it all a whole lot less scary.“ given you’ve been here for awhile. do you have any suggestions for me ? people to steer clear of, or things i should know ? “

“Where are you from? It’s the first time I’m officially living out of New York and that still feels a bit weird.” When asked about who to avoid in town, Alice didn’t even blink. “Erika Madsen and Katherine Pierce are two lying snakes you should avoid at all costs. I’m not sure about others to avoid.” How could she explain that demons could possess anyone, so the threats were everywhere? Maybe Alice should talk about Scott and the Pack, but she didn’t know yet if Peyton was human or not, aware of the supernatural or not, dangerous or not, so that could wait. “And are you planning on travelling home any time soon? I haven’t gone back since I got here, but I’d like to do that soon.” Seemed like an innocent question for anyone unaware, but it could be a big tell if you knew what was happening in Beacon Hills.

[lizfcrbes]

there's a chill in the air. silence? for the most part as wonder woman uses her lasso of truth or whatever against steve. she isn't sure where aiden went but he said he'd be back in a few minutes. elena, under the strain of looking up instead laid down on the blanket they had brought with them. ( THEIR FIRST DATE, ) she remembers with a smile even as she hears someone approaching. they come into view against the back drop of the starry night and she smiles up at them. "hi there."

[alicezhou]

Alice didn’t want to miss much of the movie, but she couldn’t help but check in with her friends to see if they were alright. Maybe the Pack mentality was getting to her, after all. She walked up to Elena, sitting by her side in the blanket she had. “Hi, I just wanted to check if you’re not alone to go home after the movie ends? I can give you a ride, if you want.” She whispered, trying not to disturb the silence too much. Elena was not new to supernatural dangers, but she was human again, and Beacon Hills was crazier than even Mystic Falls sounded. 

[ofconfusion]

malia tosses a piece of popcorn up in the air, and catches it with her mouth. “ i even have to admit i didn’t think i’d catch that. but it makes it all the more cool.”  loud laughter sounds from her mouth, as she grins widely.“ hit me with a piece, bet you ten bucks i can catch it.”

[alicezhou]

Alice laughed as Malia caught the popcorn in the air. “You have the instincts for it, I was betting on you.” Instead of using popcorn for Malia’s next show-off moment, Alice chose a particularly small truffle - one that could easily be done in one bite - and threw the little ball of chocolate and cookie crumbles in Malia’s direction. “Here, for dessert.”

[alicezhou]

alphakage​:

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Scott shook his head when Alice tried to correct him. “Same difference, Alice! You don’t mess with people’s head. You don’t take their choices.” Betrayal. Anger. Pain. Braeden, of all people… Scott turned his back on Alice, trying to think of how to undo what the vampire had done after so long. Braeden deserved better than to be robbed of any of her memories… And the fact that Alice had done it because, otherwise, she wouldn’t had left her? What did Alice expect of him? What did anyone? What was Scott supposed to do in this situation? 

The more she explained herself, the angrier Scott got. “How?” Was all he managed to muster up. “How can you think that lying to me would keep me by your side rather than telling me the truth?” Scott wasn’t capable of understanding that thought. Had he not gone to her when his Pack was lying to him over Allison? Hadn’t he explained to her how important honesty and loyalty was to him? Pain. Regret. Sorrow. Scott growled lowly, trying to quiet Alice’s emotions as they mixed with his own.

No, he wanted her to be angry. To yell at him or defend herself… He wanted to still feel that wrath and betrayal, because it wasn’t fair. He was hurting, Braeden was hurting… Their eyes met, and Scott couldn’t help scoffing as he shook his head. “No” He took a seat across from her, wiping his face with both of his hands as if that would rip the millions of thoughts going through his head. “It’s more probable I walk out now than two months ago… You lied to me.” She’d had his trust at one hundred percent since day one, he had settled it onto her hands… She’d cracked it. 

Scott took a deep breath, taking a moment to quiet everything down and focus… What would Derek say? “Can you fix it? Can you give them back without harming her?” He asked suddenly, his voice low but calmer now. He was done judging, he was done looking at it with his heart… The Alpha had to find a way to deal with the issue, fix the problem… 

Saying that she didn’t lie, but simply never brought it up, wouldn’t exactly help her situation. “I’m not saying that I was right to hid it from you, or that it was a smart move. I’m painfully aware that every day I didn’t tell you made it worse, and that this is how I lose you, just like every day I was more desperate to not let that happen. I know it, Scott, and I kept delaying it exactly because I knew, because I can’t... Because I didn’t want to face that fact. I know it is completely my fault, and I know I can’t change it now, and I know I can’t ask you to forgive it.” What else was she supposed to do, now, but tell him the truth when the guilt became too much and then just listen to him and wait for him to go? She wasn’t sure of how she would fucking survive it, but she’d have to.

She sighed when he asked about fixing it, as if she had broken Braeden, but she knew what he meant. And she knew this would have to be the next step, and the only fair thing to do. “I just need her to take off the ring for a moment, and I can give all her memories back. No further harm done, except for the clear knowledge that I’m a complete dick.” She had to be a bit ironic against herself as a way to keep her posture. If she was completely serious about how scared she was of doing it, she would break down, and it was not her time to cry. She had to face the shit she did. She knew that, too. “I will do it tomorrow, okay?” She couldn’t break both of their hearts in the same night. And she wouldn’t be able to really do anything else for the rest of the night after she lost Scott. Even if she was the wrong one, she’d need a few hours of crying on her own before she could face the rest of the consequences of her mistakes. “I just... I had to talk to you, first. Nobody else knows about it, but I needed you to.” It was too little, too late, but it was all she had to offer now.

[bcnnctt-witch-deactivated202008]

@alicezhou​

Bonnie turned to Alice as they sat, watching the previews. “I really owe you a thank you. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have came out tonight. Tried reaching out to Elena andCaroline. Seriously, I owe you one for how nice you have been to me,” Bonnie usually feard when people would take an interest in her. Sometimes it had been whentheyw ere trying to get something they wanted. She never knew it if was true friendship o greediness but she was glad that she could tell Alice was a good person.

[alicezhou]

Alice gave Bonnie a small smile, happy to know she was trying to reunite with her friends. “Oh, it was no problem. I hope you and the girls find eachother soon. We’re all going through a lot, and it’s important to have the people we care about as close as possible.” Just the thought of how close Alice came to losing Scott, time and time again, or the memory of fearing that Lori and Lydia wouldn’t make it through the ritual the month before... Alice had been used to being alone for a very long time, convincing herself that was safer for the others and she didn’t mind, but it was so easy to grow used to having your loved ones around you... “Hey, would you like some truffles? It’s chocolate, condensed milk and cookie crumbles.” She offered the little basked of home made palha italiana to the other.

[alicezhou]

ofevolution​:

-

Derek’s brow furrowed. “Who’s the guy?” The wolf trusted the vampire, he knew she wouldn’t knowingly do anything that could put the Pack in danger. Of course, that didn’t mean that mistakes couldn’t happen, Beacon Hills housing far too many shady and unpredictable people within it’s invisible walls. Maybe Alice believed this man could know more, that whatever he had to say would be helpful. But the wolf preferred to have all the details before deciding if getting a stranger involved was the right idea.

The wolf could sense the anger that coursed through the vampire’s body when she spoke of the treatment the other members of the Pack had suffered, the same strong emotion rising in his. Derek knew Scott wanted to give everyone the benefit of doubt, that he himself should be supporting his Alpha’s principals and enforcing them with every one of his actions. But the truth was Derek had no doubt of what he wanted to do once they found the hooded figures that had taken Alice, Lori, and Lydia; and he didn’t plan for any of it to include sympathy or mercy.

Derek nodded along as Alice spoke, listening attentively to her words. “The Argent bestiary talks about holy water working against demons. It’s possible sacred ground could also have some type of effect on them.” The ruins the brunette had been held in however had fallen apart years ago, even before Derek’s great grandfather was the Alpha protecting Beacon Hills. Alice’s guess was probably right; the area had been abandoned for too long and had probably lost the properties that could have made it useful.

At the mention of Lilith, Derek sighted. “It already happened,” he informed her. “Scott saw her, stepping out of the rift, right as we were leaving that night. And my uncle spoke to her a few hours after that.” It all sounded so unreal, it should have been unreal. But he guessed, in a world like theirs, why wouldn’t the Mother of Demons and the King of Hell be real? “The ritual was meant to summon her, summon her children.” Derek paused, jaw clenching. “–And possibly someone else too.”

Alice wondered if it was okay to tell Derek about Alek - his name, at least, without going too deep about his life story or revealing what Aleksander was - and she decided that it couldn’t cause Peterson any harm. “His name is Alek, he has a tea shop here. He’s immortal too, and he’s been around longer than me. He was the person who explained to me what I was, after I spent some time on my own when I was turned.” She would trust Aleksander with her eyes closed, but she couldn’t ask the Pack to do the same, not until they knew Alek for themselves.

Alice nodded while Derek said that holy water should work. “We have a starting point. That’s all I could hope for right now.” She tried to stop her hands from shaking at the confirmation that Lilith was here, and maybe even more. What could be worse than freaking Lilith? She didn’t want to think about it. “Do we know what they want? To kill? Possess people? Or to take over the town, the world? Fuck, I don’t think we can actually measure how deep this situation is, not yet. If they also used my energy to open the portal, or whatever that was, I wonder if there was something I could have done to stop it from happening, to make everyone safe...”

[alicezhou]

ofconfusion​:

“ thank you, i’ll keep both in mind and make sure to check them out.” peyton smiles appreciatively. “ i am yeah, i arrived july 1st. still getting to know the town, and where everything is. i like the place so far. the people seem great so far.”

July 1st... That was right after the Strawberry Moon, when the portal opened, and the coincidence didn’t make Alice very comfortable, but Peyton didn’t smell like sulfor nor had any of the signs Alice had learned to associate with demons. “Moving here was a big change for me, but Beacon Hills does have the most amazing people... Not all of them, of course, but no place is perfect.” She shrugged, knowing that the bad guys in town could be on a whole other level of bad. 

[alicezhou]

ofconfusion​:

“ i wish i had known that, or thought that i wouldn’t look like a complete werido. exactly ! i would have complimented anyone and thought it was amazing that they had the courage.” peyton smiles widely, something she must not have had. “ i’d love that ! thank you, i’ll definitely swing by. anywhere else you recommend stopping in town ? “

“This might sound very obvious but the Hungry Dog Diner is a good place for snacks, brunch and all of that, and, if you want something more sofisticated, dinner at the Wilted Rose is pretty good.” That did incluse some occasional run-ins with Alice’s much hated maker, Erika Madsen, but the food was spectacular. “Are you knew here? I arrived a little over a year ago.” Peyton seemed human to Alice’s senses, but new arrivals in Beacon Hills were often connected to the supernatural somehow.

[alicezhou]

lorirohr​:

“You are making my stomach rumble, stop!” She giggled. “We could get some chocolate milkshakes? What would wash all that down better than more chocolate?” She reached into her pocket, trying to figure out if she had enough to buy something for Alice as well. She was offering to share, it only seemed fair that she try to as well. “

“I always say yes to more chocolate. I’m taking one for Scott as well, he’s probably checking if the place is safe right now.” Alice opened her purse and got the money for the milkshakes she’s buy, not giving Lori the time to even try to pay for hers. The vampire shared food for the love of it. She’d single handedly feed the entire Pack if given the chance - or share that job with Melissa, maybe. “But I think I’m also getting a few cokes just in case. I don’t wanna have to come back in the middle of the movie.”

[ofconfusion]

“ you know what would make this better ? milkshakes.“ ellie thought that with popcorn would be the ultimate combo, she couldn’t help but think outside of the box.

[alicezhou]

“I’ve never actually had milkshakes and popcorn at the same time, but I am not opposed to it at all.” Alice wasn’t one to say no to any food adventures. Even the most unlikely mixes could turn out to be heavenly. “Should it be an specific flavor or just any milkshake will do?”

[alicezhou]

lorirohr​:

“Nono it’s okay! I was trying to think about what I wanted as well, no big deal.” She laughed, shrugging a shoulder. “I guess that depends on what snacks you brought with you? And if you have enough to share?” She teased a little.

“I basically have manioc cake, which is more like a pudding, really... Passion fruit cake, cheese bread and palha italiana, which is like the brigadeiro truffle if you add cookie crumbles. And I always have enough to share.” She shrugged, knowing she had made way too much food for just her and Scott to eat. “Every day is a picnic in my book.”

[alicezhou]

alphakage​:

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Betrayal, his instincts growled, and the more Scott listened to Alice, the least he could argue with them. Hearing it had been Braeden who had even been responsible that they had even met? Alice’s words were daggers ripping into his chest and carving at his heart. For a moment after Alice was done speaking, Scott just watched her. As if waiting for her to burst into laughter and say she had been joking. 

“For a year,” he said lowly, anger now visible in his features as he realized the vampire’s confession was truth. “This whole time, Alice!” Scott stood up, a growl escaping his lips. “Did you just listened to everything you just dumped on me?!” Was he shouting or pleading? The werewolf couldn’t tell anymore. Anger. Betrayal. Pain. The way Alice even spoke sounded like there were still unresolved issues between the two, and the sense of being betrayed intensified…. Just as he had given himself completely to her, and now she was shoving a knife in his back.

“I don’t understand how we spent countless days and nights together for one year and however many months…. and this never came up. She sent you here, she’s the reason we even met, and you never thought to tell me you fucked her mind up?!” He turned back to face her, disbelief and disappointment in his gaze. 

“Yeah, I listened. I know exactly what this story sounds like. I know how bad it is. Trust me, Scott, I really fucking know.” Her voice was low, clear and controled, but so very tired and heavy with pain and regret. Alice tried to keep herself from shaking as Scott spoke, obviously hurt and angry at her omission. It wasn’t his anger that upset her - he had a right to that, it was the pain she could feel coming from him, knowing that she caused it. “I didn’t fuck her mind up, I just erased myself. It was fucked up, I know that much, and I’m not hiding from that.” 

As he questioned why it took her so long to speak up, Alice took a deep breath. “The day we met, I told you that vampires existed, and that rippers existed, and that I was one. And then I found out we’re stuck in Beacon Hills, though I was only supposed to stay for a weekend. There’s no way I could have told you right there about what happened with me and Braeden. For that day, that’s the reason. For every day after that, I was just afraid. And this is not an excuse or anything, it’s just...”

She stopped again, looking around the room, trying to find a way to say it, a way for herself to understand in the first place, so she could explain it to him. “I didn’t plan on keeping it hidden for an year, but delaying it was easier than actually bringing it up. Every time I thought about it, I’d tell myself not now, not yet. And the more I knew you, the more important you became to me, that just made me more afraid of bringing it up, because I knew that the day I told you about you would be the day that I lose you.” The last two words had almost no sound, but Scott would be able to hear it.

“I don’t always take the high road, Scott. Sometimes, I’m too scared to do the right thing. I avoided it all this time, probably more subconsciously than consciously, because I’m still not fucking ready to lose you, and I don’t want to...” I can’t handle losing you, not now, not yet. She couldn’t say it now, though, not when he had a decision to make and the smartest move would be to leave. “It’s completely selfish, I’m well aware, but I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to find out what it feels like to see you walk away.” She confessed, finally, looking him in the eyes, even as she stay sitting in the couch.