ruang

I post random thing, mostly about my life. sometimes i write in bahasa. i got tons of anxiety and this how i overwhelm it. pardon my grammar. i hope you enjoy my blog.

[kushandwizdom]

[emotionalwords]

[alittlespaceformind-blog]

10:36 pm

can I hold your hand or lend your shoulder for a minute?

I want to cry for a moment

no, I don’t want you to talk or give me an advice

I just want to cry for a moment

I promise I will get back

[alittlespaceformind-blog]

10:08 PM

I’ll be fine

I’ll stand up again

This painful thing will go

I wont give up

I’m not going to lose

I will find somebody who love all my flaws

even if I can’t find one, I’ll love myself

you can go now

I forget that you’re not even mine

[louxlb]

you were not wrong for leaving you were wrong for coming back and thinking you could have me when it was convenient and leave when it was not

Rupi Kaur (via louxlb)

[alittlespaceformind-blog]

last week word

aku pernah berada di titik terendah dalam kehidupan

ketika aku merasa hidup ini begitu menyakitkan

aku merasa tak berharga

jatuh aku begitu dalam

bukan pada sebuah cinta

pada sebuah kebencian akan diri sendiri

akan dunia

dan kesendirianku

apakah kamu tahu aku hampir tak dapat bertemu denganmu?

aku hampir saja menyerah karena Tuhan mengirimmu begitu lama

aku mempertanyakan apakah kamu adalah orang yang aku sebut namanya dalam doa setiap malam?

apakah kamu orang yang aku lihat pertama kali ketika aku membuka mata setelah berdoa di gereja?

aku salah,

begitu harapku.

aku membutuhkanmu di titik terendahku tapi kamu tak pernah datang hingga saat ini

aku ingin berlari tapi kakiku sudah terantai besi

bahkan pikiranku pun terpenjara

bahagiaku bukan pada barang mewah

bahagiaku ketika aku dapat meluapkan tangis dipundakmu

mungkin sekarang Tuhan ingin aku mengandalkanNya

mungkin Tuhan ingin aku serius denganNya dahulu, sebelum kamu serius denganku.

siapapun kamu dan dimanapun kamu sekarang

aku berharap kamu bahagia ditangan yang tepat, tapi jika kamu dalam kesendirian sepertiku dan di titik terendah hidupmu sepertiku percayalah bahwa aku sedang memelukmu dalam doa.

mungkin kamu juga sedang memelukku dalam doa, hingga Tuhan tak izinkan aku berbuat gila mengakhiri hidupku.

maafkan kekhilafanku yang hampir meninggalkan kamu disaat kita belum dipertemukan Tuhan.

dari aku

wanita yang akan menggenggam tanganmu hingga nafasnya berhenti.

[kushandwizdom]

[kartuzi]

If you’re reading this right now you are beautiful, special, and one of a kind and I hope this makes your day

kartuzi (via kartuzi)

[alittlespaceformind-blog]

Help

there’s a hole inside my chest

I feel so lonely

I feel like, I’m ruining my life

I don’t want to give up but I can’t continue this thing

I lose myself in my loneliness

I’m screaming but no one listening

I need help but no one come

what can I do?

What should I do?

I hate myself so much, the fact that I’m doing nothing for my future is hurting me so much yet I still won’t do anything

I’m so done with myself

[lifeinpoetry]

Yet I am. I exists. I has a body,

Ilya Kaminsky, from “from Deaf Republic: 16,” published in Poetry Magazine (via lifeinpoetry)

[alittlespaceformind-blog]

I didn't leave because I stopped loving you, I left because the longer I stayed the less I loved myself.

Rupi Kaur

[alittlespaceformind-blog]

You might not have been my first love but you were the love that made all the other loves irrelevant.

Rupi Kaur

[alittlespaceformind-blog]

I really thought she was going to die before I could tell her that I was going to die, too.

Augustus Waters

[alittlespaceformind-blog]

My thoughts are stars I can’t fathom into constellations.

Augustus Waters

[alittlespaceformind-blog]

I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.

Augustus Waters

[alittlespaceformind-blog]

10:17 PM

the moment I wish I could hold is the moment when you smile to me,

when our eyes meet,

when you hold my hand,

when you sit next to me.

I miss you.

I think I am a little bit greedy,

I think God told me to slow down and believe His time.

I’ll try to be patient as long as I can love you and hold you for the rest of my life.

I’m not try to be selfish,

I wont pray so hard about us anymore,

no, not because I don’t love you anymore but I want some distance so I can clear my mind and ask Him am I the one for you and you’re the one for me or not?

[simplichity]

[alittlespaceformind-blog]

White rose is a symbol of true love, they said.

for me true love is a bond between you and universe

and the only symbol of true love is yourself

the moment you find yourself is the moment you find your true love