What does grief feel like?
Like many children lose a family member, I remember losing my grandfather as a child. Although my parents didn't go into detail, being told felt heavy, huge in fact. I think the fact they didn't talk about his death made it worse. But grief can lead to a range of emotions. It can feel heavy, it can feel numbing, it's easy to feel lost, panicked in fact.
We all want to be listened to. To listen without judgment and allow us to express our emotions. Around death, it is important to maintain a routine and provide a sense of stability.
For me it was the silence, the void that followed my grandfather's passing. It feels rather poignant now having lost my parents and losing my twin. If you struggle with grief and your emotions begin to impact your daily life, reaching out for professional support through a therapist or counsellor who specialises in grief and loss would be the right way to go.
Grief is a process which takes time for us to fully understand and to navigate our emotions. Others providing support, and understanding can help us feel safe and supported during our loss.
Using Art to cope with Grief
When it comes to children having to deal with grief, parents can provide opportunities for their children to express their emotions in safe and healthy ways. This can be through talking, drawing, writing, or engaging in activities that they enjoy. Encourage children to share memories and stories about the person who died, and help them find ways to honour their memory.
Rituals and ceremonies related to the death, if they are comfortable with it, can give children a sense of closure and an opportunity to say goodbye.
Children can have challenges around grief
Young children can have a more magical or concrete understanding of death. They may believe that the person who died can come back or that they are simply asleep. This can make it even more challenging for them to comprehend and process their grief. It is important for adults to give explanations and reassurances, according to their age, while also acknowledging and validating their emotions.
Supporting children through grief
There are several ways to support children in navigating their grief. It is important to be honest about what has happened, using simple and clear language. Encourage them to ask questions about their loved one. Reassure them that their feelings are normal and that it is okay to feel sad, angry, or confused.
It is also important to understand that children may express their emotions differently than adults. They may act out, throw tantrums, withdraw, or even regress in their behaviour. They may also have difficulty concentrating. It is important for children to have their feelings validated, to provide a safe environment for them to express themselves.
Encourage children to express how they feel
When it comes to grief we should all be allowed to grieve in our own way and be encouraged to express our feelings. By modelling healthy coping strategies, we can learn to manage our emotions and navigate our emotions through grief.
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