#griefawareness

[echoarts03]

Losing My Cat

February 25th I lost my 9-10 year old male Tuxedo cat to natural means.

This post is mostly just a way for me to vent, so if you guys don't care or just don't wanna read it, that's fine. It's kinda lengthy, and I understand.

Trigger Warnings:

Anger towards God

Death of a Pet

Detailed emotional descriptions

My cat passed away on the 25th and I don't know if I can keep doing college. I mean I have to, but it feels so much less rewarding when I know one of my cats isn't gonna be there when I go home on the occasional weekend or during breaks.

This cat was pretty much an emotional support pet but without the papers, y'know? I even considered getting him legally documented so I could take him places because I'm just such an emotional wreck in public, but I guess I can't do that now, lol.

He was completely healthy and only 9 or 10 years old. It was the suddenness of it all that hurts the most. He just went to sleep and didn't wake up. I'm grateful it was peaceful since we have always had to put our pets down, but it was an awful feeling to walk into the house and find out he was gone.

That Morning

My mom called me at 8 am on Saturday and told me I had to come home. She was sending my ex to come pick me up since we're still really good friends, and he said he would happily help us if we needed it.

She didn't tell me what was wrong because she didn't want me to be hysterical on the drive back, but she said I needed to come home ASAP.

I arrived home at around 8:45 - 9 am.

The moment I stepped into the house, my mom told me to take off my shoes, jacket, backpack, hat, and ETC and get comfortable. I knew something was wrong at that point.

The moment she told me was probably the most heartwrenching feeling I have felt in a long time. My knees buckled, and I couldn't breathe. My mom had to hold onto me because I was hysterical.

I got to sit with him for an hour or two, just praying over him and giving my final goodbyes before we took him to the local Animal Hospital.

Anger towards God

It felt like God was betraying me now that he knew I was getting somewhere in therapy. I was finally, slowly becoming happier with my life, and accepting my sexuality and my place in my family.

It was moments like those that really make me question what the fuck have I done wrong to make God do this to me.

Conclusion

I don't wish this upon even my worst enemy, I don't wish this upon anyone. That drive to the Animal Hospital was probably the longest yet fastest drive I have ever had to sit through, and the rest of the day was just plain exhausting. Even after 13 hours of sleep, I was exhausted all day Sunday.

I never thought that the last time I said bye to him would really have been the last time.

Hold your pets close, guys. You never know when goodbye may be your last one.

I'm sorry, my baby boy. I'm so sorry.

Mommy loves you. ❤️

[teengriefsucks]

Happy holidays, to everyone who celebrates. For stories and advice on how to cope with grief during this season, check out our "Holidays" category here.

[rfarrokh]

Grief comes in all forms and is not time bound so if you are grieving unexpectedly at certain times in your life, I get you ❤️💕 #griefsupport #griefjourney #griefandloss #griefsucks #griefawareness #griefrecovery #griefshare #griefrevolution #grieftherapy #griefhealing #griefhurts #deathisnottheend #griefisreal #griefandhealing #griefandlosssupport #missmybabies #grieving #grievous #grievingthepast #missedmylife #rachaelsroadtorecovery #griefisajourney #griefoverpetloss #gaveupmylife #grieftogratitude #griefstages #griefcoach #grievingprocess #griefisnotlinear #griefislove https://www.instagram.com/p/CS8jIwRLTni/?utm_medium=tumblr

[thehalalgirlofficial]

“Grief is love with nowhere to go.”

[davidwfloydart]

“I will take my grief and turn it into butterflies. I will let it go one day. #butterfly🦋 #butterflies🦋 #griefjourney #griefandloss #griefawareness #flyawayfromhere #flyaway #onedaytrip #oneday (at Catalina Foothills, Arizona) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVZZLxur7Wt0mTX1h15DSRgEsTwgRCHpyaGidY0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[bpdnchill]

OK but what if my chronic illness and mental health issues are giving me the ability to step out of the capitalist nightmare, because I am privileged to live in a country with a welfare system.

What if I can stop thinking about everything I've lost, and use that freedom to develop spiritually and creatively.

*enters the last stage of grief with pompoms and champagne*

[letterstonoone]

Grief is a little bit like a wave - it ebbs and flows, sometimes overwhelming, often unexpected, coming out of nowhere and shaking you out of your sea of calm. Just a ripple or a change in current, and it can throw you off course.

- letters to no one

[ilovescaredysquirrel2]

To the woman who literally raised me (besides my mother) to the best grandmother in the world, a gift from God, I LOVE YOU! I will miss you but I know I can still talk to you in Heaven. You're with Jesus now, and as much as it hurts me, I will no longer to be able to watch movies with you. 84 years old is too young for you, you were YOU! You were a survivor! You were wonder woman! You survived a heart attack but not a stroke... and I'll always remember you as my best friend, my love and my wonderful grandma who I could come to in the worst times and spent the best times with. I don't know how I can get married without you walking me down the isle, by my side. I'm going to miss you hugs, your singing, and your sense of humor. I'm going to miss every bit of you and thank you grandma for making me who I am, ME! Jocelyne! You're granddaughter. I felt like I was your little princess my whole life. You treated me like a princess and a queen, and you told me I was beautiful when I felt insecure. You told me I was smart when I was having mental issues. You told me I would do great things. I AM going to do great things. When I first got the news i wanted to die so I could be with you... but I have bigger plans. I'm seeing you someday in Heaven but for now. you can look down on me. I hope I'll see you and talk to you in my dreams. I talk to you through God all the time, I just know you can't answer. I can't believe this all happened to my biggest hero, you and I got along so well. We both had fun personalities and you helped me to embrace what was different about me. Suicide is NOT an answer for me, because I have bigger plans! Thank you for all you've done, grandma! You're my hero! I can't type this without crying... I wish you could hug me again. I hope you enjoyed all the moments with me, even when I got upset with you and got angry, you knew I had issues I couldn't deal with. You are my sunshine and all I had, along with mommy. You're a blessing and I wish you could have lived longer. God blessed you with a granddaughter that you can give your love to and I know that you loved me like no one else.

Here's to you, thank you!