Fantastically Tired

Devin, 26, Los Angeles, Grad Student, Associate Mental Health Counselor do good, recklessly

[crazy-brazilian]

[o-kurwa]

Doesn't even take a whole day

[normal-horoscopes]

dude you're insane

I'm gonna make your dad nut so hard he remembers being a zygote

[meangirlnurse]

i can’t stop laughing at this

[agni-bi]

I know this is a joke but you can counteract over salting by adding acid, like lemon juice or a splash of vinegar

[meangirlnurse]

we were baking brownies and added ¼ cup of salt instead of a ¼ teaspoon. eagerly awaiting your updated advice

[ftmjerryseinfeld]

you doubled the salt by 48. you can do that to the rest of your ingredients (like if you had a cup of sugar add 47 more cups). it’ll all balance out!

[meangirlnurse]

ok i do realize this but i also don’t actually have, like, 144 cups of flour lying around my apartment. and i cannot stress this enough: absolutely no one involved in this story was sober enough to drive anywhere for anything

[depsidase]

[lgbt-tiktoks]

Caption: [Okay so, I do this all the time. Not on purpose it’s just like, I assume that people know? And (laughing) one time, a coworker, Hi (name can’t hear), helped me while I was recovering from nipple reconstruction surgery. (laughing) Turns out, that she didn’t know that I’m trans!? (laughing) She just thought I wanted new nipples!]

[sarcasticmudkip]

ASDKFJHKJDFHKJDFHSD

[cowboy]

I would let a racoon do surgery on me

[cowboy]

Have you seen their little hands? Those motherfuckers would give me a great heart transplant for the low low cost of a cold pizza slice

[quinintheclouds]

you do realize where racoons' little hands have been right

[headspace-hotel]

is that the...only reason you wouldn’t let a raccoon give you a heart transplant?

[ankewehner]

Come on! They are so well known for washing their hands that they’s called “washing bears” in German! You don’t have to worry about where their hands have been!

[headspace-hotel]

Well! you heard it folks, getting a heart transplant from a raccoon is perfectly safe!

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[aubs-of-steel-deactivated201708]

fun fact: The last supper would have been more like this, according to tradition:

[evangeline-elena-deactivated201]

so casual i love it

[thedevoteddemon]

a sleepover with jc and the boys

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

Paul: Judas truth or dare??

Judas: dare

Paul: okay lmao I dare u to kiss JC

[ghoulfr13nd]

Jesus: ok your turn peter truth or dare

Peter: truth

Jesus: would you ever betray me peter

[papa-peach-deactivated20241019]

Peter:

Jesus:

(a few days later)

Peter: *betrays Jesus*

Jesus:

[that-twink-over-there]

Jesus: *returns*

Peter: “Jesus… you’re back ?”

Jesus:

[lickitwan]

THIS TURNED INTO THE GREATEST THING IVE EVER SEEN

[shitpostinguniverse]

[gothdolphin-deactivated20190409]

me: how do churches deal with gluten at communion

first response on a catholic forum:

[hvlthgxth-deactivated20241124]

The Roman Catholic church is the only Christian faith with any mettle.

[hvlthgxth-deactivated20241124]

It’s not bread. It’s Jesus, dipshit. Next question.

[mysharona1987]

[ithelpstodream]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[middleamerica]

Anjelica Huston for French Elle, February 1991

[teennewssource]

hot girl summer is over it’s scary woman winter

[thisuserusesthis]

[sachinmandal]

Vampire amoeba

[xbubbledumbbx]

I looked at the reblogs and died laughing

[brbjellyfishing]

50 years later, the Zodiac Killer’s legendary cypher has been solved! Amazing!