A patronus, Harry tells Hermione, is acing a test and the warmth of a butterbeer between your hands. It is your friends holding you when you fall, and Ron’s sparkling eyes when you whisper hi. And there’s an otter, swimming, and Hermione is blushing.
A patronus, Harry tells Ron, is Ginny’s shaky smile lighting up the world at the end of second year. It is winning the Quidditch World Cup, unwrapping yet another knitted jumper, and your startled surprise at the sight of Hermione punching Draco in the face. And there’s a dog, chasing the otter, and Ron is laughing.
A patronus, Harry tells Luna, is the feeling of starlight on your skin and grass between your bare toes. It is snow melting through your fingers, the magic your mother used to make, something singing in your heart when you stare at the impossible. And there’s a hare, jumping, and Luna is shining.
A patronus, Harry tells Cho, is Marietta shouting the lyrics of her favourite song, dancing in the rain during a storm. It is the look on Cedric’s face when he saw you at the Yule Ball, his hand holding yours and never letting go. And there’s a swan, sliding, and Cho is crying.
A patronus, Harry tells Seamus, is Dean’s funny expression when he is about to burst into laughter and the sound of a explosion that turns out right. It is the fireworks, bright flowers blossoming in the night sky; and the fire burning in your lungs as you fly. And there’s a fox, running, and Seamus is smirking.
A patronus, Harry tells Ginny, is the world expanding underneath you and the wind playing with your hair. It is dancing and laughing until there are tears on your cheeks, Molly’s disapproving voice and Arthur’s amused eyes after one of the twins’ pranks. And there’s a horse, flying, and Ginny is grinning.
A patronus, Harry thinks, is that weird feeling that lives in his chest when the Room of Requirement glows silver, speaking of times when the world was golden.
It is years later when Draco tells Harry that he cannot perform a patronus that Harry tells Draco: It is the feeling of the wind riding through your hair as you chase me to get the snitch, it is the bubbling feeling you get when you perfect a particularly difficult potion. It is the feeling you got when you first kissed me and it is the feeling you will get when I ask you; will you marry me?
And Draco’s jaw drops, he brings his hand to his mouth as if he is just replaying what he has been asked in his mind. And when Harry takes his hand and there’s a doe fawning at them with it’s hoof Draco simply says “yes”. And then there is a stag that is galloping in the fields around their picnic and is prancing with the doe. Getting closer and closer until they match the same embrace that their casters are in.
“A patronus is drowning in the darkest depths of the ocean without fear because someone is holding my hand. It is the freedom to scream and thrash and crumble under all the hate and pressure, because I know I am not alone. It is the feel of calluses on my skin, the cool prick of a body asking me for heat during the coldest nights, and the soft hum of a particular voice during the worst ones.
Harry, it is the admiration in your eyes when you see my mark, because you know, without any need for words, why it’s there. Why it had to be there. It is the tingle that comes with every kiss on my scars and the roses you planted and allowed to bloom within me through the years. A patronus, really, is more than just second chances and redemption. It is more than simply dying and being revived.
It is coming home to three beautiful smiles and huddling together under the sheets, drowning in a fit of giggles until we fall asleep. It is you landing safely in my arms after every mission, and your lasting kisses during goodbyes. It is the promises you have made and kept during the years, and the love and acceptance not only you, but our family has provided without expecting anything in return.
Harry Potter, there will never be enough words and reasons to describe what a patronus is to me. But know this, the life you have allowed me to live and the people you have allowed me to know and love serve as the very foundation of my happiness. Nothing, I believe, can ever take that away from me. I love you.”
-Draco’s speech during their 50th anniversary
