Facebook gave the clues, then my ex divulged the rest of the details in a ‘morning-after' sleep-encrusted phone voice.
‘It was a huuuuge night. I was one of the lucky ones - I only had to do one shoe-y.’
What’s a 'shoe-ey’ you ask? I asked the same question. It turns out to be better than a 'jock-ey’ which is beer strained and skulled through used jocks. Usually sweat-soaked jocks after a full day’s wear and a game on the rugby field. Couldn’t think of anything more appealing really. A forgone conclusion that this is solely a male beverage. As is the 'shoe-ey’. Drunk out of a used (recently) rugby or football boot.
It follows on then, that a justifiable conclusion could be that men and woman couldn’t be more geometrically opposed if they tried. Definite polar opposites wouldn’t be too big a stretch at times.
What woman would enjoy chucking back a pint of beer, strained through someone’s old, used undies? Or equally, quietly chuckle at the all-pervasive, knock-me-unconscious early morning fart of a colleague or partner in the confined space of a car or office. Only males.
How the hell do we end up with these primates? As the years wear on, women are becoming an increasingly attractive alternative, for intellect alone!
What has caused this? Is it genetics or socialisation? Admittedly testosterone and oestrogen are our Yin and Yang. A little bit of both is a wonderful balance, but too much in either direction can only be pleasurable for those with doses in equal measures. But surely this is not a factor that can change how men and women get on in the short space of one’s life?
So it has to be societal norms. What is paraded and celebrated by a culture? Well that is obvious. One only need look at the media. Guns, violence, sex and drugs are the vices of choice for our patriarchal society. And where do women fit in? With their extraordinarily good looks, slim waistlines, voices when requested to be heard and their well-developed cooking, cleaning and nurturing skills.
Thank you males, for the roles you have bequethed to us.
Yours sincerely, Females of the World.
Men-women, women-men, wo-men. It’s all rather confusing.
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