Over It (jack abbot x reader)
PAIRING: Jack Abbot x Reader WORD COUNT: 6.8k SUMMARY: Jack Abbot broke your heart without rhyme or reason. Now you're just trying to get over it, despite his constant attempts in not letting you. CW: ex!jack abbot/nurse!reader, some swearing, thoughts about killing men(jokes), very inaccurate medical procedure, happy ending, mohabbot mention (not actually), age gap implied but not stated so make it whatever you wish
ao3 link | masterlist
You were certain you must have done something truly evil in a past life to have the type of luck you had. Not only were you broken up with not even a full six months ago by a man you thought was the one, but you were also doomed to spend nearly every night with him due to your poor choice of job.
You had become a night nurse at Pittsburgh Medical Trauma Centre over two years ago, sure you would have preferred a day shift but you were new in the city and low on funds, so you took what you could get. At first it was fine, you were in the ER department so it was rarely quiet, but the doctors were nice and the other nurses held your hand as you got used to the new system. You even managed to make a few friends, John Shen becoming your main coffee supplier by your third shift. You felt like, despite the ruined sleep schedule, that you had managed to make a place for yourself.
Then there was Doctor Jack Abbot, a man who could make anybody in the near vicinity weak in the knees with his casual flirting and pessimistic outlook hidden behind a boyish charm. He was strong and firm, always five steps ahead of everybody else, while handling not only the patients but the staff with care, and to top it all off - he was handsome. Salt and pepper curls and a smirk that made many of the drunk girls with twisted ankles blush, while his hands twisted their bare legs checking for pain.
You wished you could say you were immune to his charms, that every sassy comment and flirty winks he sent your way did nothing to you… but it only took five months, one terrible shift and two drinks in a nearby bar before your lips were pressed to his and his hands were gripping your waist.
It started off casual, a simple hook up whenever one of you needed company, but then came the sleepovers and the breakfasts in bed and constant checking for each other in every room you entered. By the third month you couldn’t hold it back and you forced the older man to have the conversation and that was it, he was yours and you were his.
He told you about his time in the army, about how he lost not only his leg but his wife, bearing his heart open to you like he had never done before. You took it with grace, told him he could trust you, that you will keep it locked away in a safe and never dream of breaking it. You told him about your past, about the constant moving, how you never really felt like you had a place called home… or somebody who would stay. He reassured you he wasn’t going anywhere, that there was nothing you could do or say to make him run away. You believed him.
For ten months the two of you were happy. You had your arguments here and there but each of them ended with both of you apologising and long nights of making it up to each other. You found that Jack slept best with you and soon he was over in your small shoebox of a flat most days of the week, always telling you he preferred how homey your place felt compared to his. The two of you discussed moving in together, of a future you could share - maybe even adopt a dog or a cat or a ferret. You went out for dates and you made love and you were happy.
That was until six months ago, after a few weeks of Jack being distant, spending more and more time either at work or at his own house, he finally broke the news. It was a Tuesday, the two of you had just spent the last 18 hours dancing around each other in the ER, you constantly seeking him out as he ran away, by the time your shifts ended you had him cornered in the locker room.
You knew it before he said it, could see the way he looked at you as if he pitied you or wanted to take away your pain, even though he was the one inflicting it.
There wasn’t a huge discussion, Jack made sure of that, it was simple and straight to the point, like you were a patient on his hospital bed and he was telling you bad news. He refused to show emotion, refused to explain why he came to this decision - instead telling you that he will return your things by next week. It was a ten month relationship that ended in a five minute talk, your coworkers just on the other side of the wall. It was clinical… surgical… it broke your heart.
You had managed to contain your tears until you returned home, breaking down before you had even unlocked your apartment door. You were sure that your next door neighbour could hear your wails and it was somewhat comforting knowing they didn’t care. You had contacted work after an hour of crying, informing them that you were taking your leave and that you would return in a month's time - claiming a family emergency needed your attention. They weren’t happy but after HR’s recent suggestion of preventing burn out they let you take the time you needed.
You allowed yourself to grieve that month, to cry as much as you want, gorge yourself on terrible takeout and ice cream. You watched romcoms that made you cry and dramatic movies that just made you angry. Jack had stayed true to his word and dropped a box of your things off by your door not even two days after he ended things - you had thrown his things in a garbage bag and left it by the front door before he arrived. He didn’t knock, didn’t try and let himself in - just simply texted you that he had left the box on your doormat.
Despite your unwillingness you couldn’t avoid work forever, which is why a month later you returned to your regular scheduled shifts, avoiding Jack at all costs. There was no more sneaking a kiss in the down times, holding hands as you left in the morning, surprise coffees waiting for you at the nurses station. There was no love, no connection, just an overwhelming sense of loss.
The other around you had noticed, word spread pretty quickly about the golden couple of the night shift break up. Shen attempted to cheer you up by telling you the work gossip you had missed while away, Lena constantly took over when you and Jack were forced to work together and Ellis had attempted to set you up on the newest dating app. You would never admit it, keenly aware that your night shift pals didn’t need their egos stroked, but without them you weren’t sure you would have stayed.
By month three of the break up you swore you were over it, any feelings you had for Jack Abbot had shrivelled up and died, replaced with a new found anger and spite. It’s what spurred you on and forced you to continue to show up - there was no world where you were going to let a man ruin the home you made for yourself. You helped him with patients, never letting on the malice between the two of you, treating him as if he was any other coworker.
That’s why you were swearing your luck now, that despite the fact it had been six months since your heart was ripped from your chest and shred into a million pieces, you had pulled yourself back up. Only for it all to crash down again.
Shen meant well, not meaning to upset you when he told you that there were rumours that Abbot and Mohan were getting cosy. You tried to play it cool when he mentioned, hiding your internal panic and heartbreak by a simple raised eyebrow. It killed you, the idea that Jack was so willing to move on, with another coworker no less, and you knew you should have let the comment rest there. Instead you pressed for more information.
Apparently the day shift staff made mention to Shen during the shift change that Abbot had come in early, only to spend most of his time with Mohan, and it wasn’t the first time this had happened. According to Shen’s sources (you were ninety percent sure it was from Jesse) Abbot had come in early every shift for the past week.
The rest of your shift was spent mulling over the idea of Mohan and Abbot. You held nothing against the girl, she was young, pretty, wickedly smart and one of the few doctors you had met that cared about their patients being listened to. You had only worked with her once or twice, when you covered for Jesse or Mateo. She was kind, and she respected you, so it didn’t surprise you that you couldn’t be mad at her for even a moment.
There was a part of you that considered that maybe the reason Jack had ended things was because he had already started something with Mohan… it took you an hour to decide that despite how badly he hurt you Jack would never do that. He wasn’t that cruel.
By the time your shift ended you had made up your mind, if Jack was seeing others, you should too. That’s how you ended up in the pediatric ward, talking to Doctor Hotty (a nickname used by the nurses that you were sure Princess had made up). He was a handsome man and he asked you out a few weeks ago after he was brought down to the ER to help with a young child. You had originally shut him down, letting him know you were just getting out of a relationship and wouldn’t want to put him through your mess. He respected your decision but told you to find him when you were ready to move on. The two of you scheduled a date for the upcoming weekend, both of you being lucky enough to have the Saturday night off.
Although you had originally intended to finish your shift by 8am that Saturday morning and try to get some sleep before your date, fate had other plans. If it was any other coworker you would have told them no, that you couldn’t swap shifts that day and to find someone else. Unfortunately you owed Jesse (thanks to your month long sabbatical he was sacrificed to the night shift to cover you) so when he messaged you the Friday morning begging to take his shift on Saturday you agreed. You texted Doctor Hotty afterwards, letting him know that you were still on for the date but he would need to pick you up from the hospital due to the schedule change.
You were slightly irritated that you now had to pack your date outfit into your back pack, along with your makeup up and heels, you hated changing for a date at work - always keenly aware of the eyes you got when you were dolled up.
You arrived at the ER by 6am, date night outfit shoved into your locker, instead fitted out in your grey scrubs and comfy clogs. You were thankful that Jack must have had the night off or you missed the shift change by some miracle - you don’t think you would have been able to stomach his interactions with Mohan since hearing the news.
The day shift was a nice change of pace, it was interesting to see the types of patients that would come in and you were grateful to be able to spend time with the new “Pittlings” as they were deemed. You found it to be a peaceful day, even managing to make Robby laugh once or twice when talking about a patient who had thought parkour was still trendy (the broken arm would beg to differ). You hadn’t even realised that it was your end of your shift until you noticed Jack walk through the doors, wearing a simple black shirt and khaki pants.
You looked away before he caught you staring and informed Dana that you were going to get changed and head off. She gave you a small thank you, shooing you off while teasing you with the idea of switching to day shifts. You managed to sneak past Robby and Abbot before grabbing your bag from your lockers and moving straight to the changing rooms.
You didn’t have a huge amount of time to make your transformation, instead you settled for a quick shower (hair staying up and dry) before pulling on your outfit and heels - only slightly rushing through your makeup. You allowed yourself once over in the mirror, despite the fact Doctor Hotty had texted you that he was out by the nurses station, you felt good. Your makeup was slightly messy but in a way that made you look sexy, and your outfit helped as well, accentuating all of your favourite features about you.
You walked out into the ER with a pep in your step, despite how you usually despised the way people stared at you when you were in your regular clothes, this time it felt nice to be noticed. There may have even been a small part of you that hoped Jack noticed, and another part of you that hoped he didn’t.
You spotted Doctor Hotty leaning against the nurses station, chatting politely to Princess as she gave him the eyes. You could only giggle to yourself as you stepped up beside him, placing a hand on his arm.
“Ready to go?” You ignored the shocked stares you were receiving from your coworkers, especially Shen’s who must have arrived not longer ago with his iced coffee still barely drunk in his hands.
“You’re going out with him?” Princess asked, not in any way to hurt your feelings, but just in shock - it was very well known within the ER how your last coworker relationship. Doctor Hotty however paid her no attention as he turned to face you, eyes trailing your body before locking into your eyes.
“You look beautiful” You felt a blush rise to your cheeks, sure it was the most basic thing a man could say but you couldn’t help but enjoy the feeling. “Lets get out of here.”
You simply nodded as your hand found his, allowing Doctor Hotty to lead you out of the ER. You spared a glance over your shoulder, mainly to poke your tongue out at the very jealous Princess. Instead you were met with a very sad looking Jack, eyes focused on your hand interconnected with Doctor Hotty. He had glanced at you briefly and you ignored the way your breath caught in your throat before you simply turned your head and continued to walk away. He had his chance. He had you. He couldn’t be sad about you moving on, not when he had Mohan.
“So yeah… the couples counseling didn’t work and here I am!”
You hummed in response, spooning another forkful of pasta into your mouth and silently cursing whatever god put you in this situation. The date was terrible. Not only did Doctor Hotty order for you, but he had also spent the better part of the hour going into every detail of his failed marriage. You felt bad for him, but you also couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky his ex-wife is for not having to be here. He was painfully boring and clearly overcompensating every time he opened his mouth.
You were certain that you hadn’t spoken more than ten words since you sat down at the table, simply offering a simple smile and nod whenever there was a pause in conversation (could it be considered a conversation if you weren’t speaking?). You had already excused yourself to the bathroom three times just to get a breather - and to text Shen about how terrible the date was going… he was not as empathetic as you hoped, instead choosing to send a 2 minute voice recording of him and Ellis laughing at your pain.
You were going over all the ways you could get yourself out of continuing this date when you were both interrupted by your phone ringing. You gave Doctor Hotty a small apologetic smile before answering the phone and stepping out into the street to have some privacy, not bothering to check who was calling - just happy to have a break.
“So Doctor Hotty?” You felt your breath disappear as you recognised the voice over the phone, seemingly cheery.
“I don’t think it’s your concern.” Your voice is clipped, eyebrows already furrowed as you feel the anger rise. In what world does Jack Abbot have a say in who you are dating.
“I’m just looking out for my favourite nurse, I’ve heard rumours about that guy.” You could hear the amusement in Jack’s voice, like this was just some sort of banter between friends and not the love of your life taunting you for moving on.
“Well I’m sure they’re no worse than what people say about you.” You heard him let out a chuckle over the phone which only increased your rage.
“And what are people saying about me sweetheart?” You rolled your eyes, even though you knew he couldn’t see it before letting out a frustrated sigh.
“Doctor Abbot, is there a reason that you are calling me after my shift?” You know that he would consider this a win, that you dodging his questions shows how he can still Affect your mood.
“Other than to check in on your horrible date? Yes,” you could hear the background noises of the ER through the phone, letting you know that Jack was back in the middle of it all. “Bridget needs to get home to the kids so I was wondering if you could come in to cover, I’ve had an inside source tell me that you needed an escape anyways.”
You were going to ruin Shen’s life.
“Well I am sure your inside source is wrong but for Bridget of course - I can be there in 20.” You didn’t give Jack a chance to respond before you were hanging up the phone and storming back inside the restaurant, picking up your bag and coat.
“I am so sorry but that was work and they need me to come in right away.”
“Oh of course - I’ll drive you over.” You offered Doctor Hotty a small smile and followed him out the restaurant (after he made a show of paying the bill and leaving a 25 percent tip) and back into his car. You were grateful that it was too far of a drive to the hospital as you really did not have it in you to make awkward small talk with the world's worst date.
By the time Doctor Hotty pulled up just outside the ambulance bay you were ready to sprint off, you didn’t offer him a chance to organise a second date or a goodbye kiss - just giving him one of those awkward over-the-console-hugs before rushing out of his car. You will most likely have to text him later telling him that he was nice but you just weren’t ready for a relationship (or more accurately ready for a relationship with him).
You snuck your way in through the ambulance bay doors, hoping that you could get changed into your scrubs before being spotted by anyone, well not just anyone… you didn’t think you would be able to control your tongue if you ran into Jack as you escaped your terrible date.
“Missed me already?” You felt your shoulders tense from where you were grabbing your scrubs out of your locker, thankfully it wasn’t the last person you wanted to see in the world - just the second.
“Shen, unless you want to see me bare ass I suggest you move along.” You gave the man a playful glare as you shut your locker with a bang.
“Don’t tempt me with a good time baby.” You gagged at his sleazy flirting (you knew he meant nothing by it - Shen was not that kind of guy… he just enjoyed pissing you off.)
“I’m going to give you five seconds to reflect over what you said and leave before I purple-nurple you… again.” You held up your fingers in a pinching motion, moving closer to his chest and he let out a gasp, hands covering his clothed nipples.
“You wouldn’t dare… remember what HR said last time?” He was teasing you, but deep down he knew that if it came to it you would inflict trauma to his nipples that even the ER couldn’t save him from. You didn’t respond, just raising an eyebrow and lunging towards him - pulling yourself back when he let out a small scream and ran from the locker room.
If there was one thing you could count on it was John Shen cheering you up, even if it was to his own demise.
You had changed from your date night outfit back into your worn scrubs and prepped yourself for the long shift ahead of you. Usually when working a double you could find yourself an hour or so break to catch up on sleep, however thanks to your disastrous date you were now running on pasta and despair to get you through the next 12 hours.
You didn’t have a chance to catch Shen once you were back on the ER floor, everything seemingly busier than usual (and you were certain he was avoiding you). You moved from room to room making sure all your duties were done, it was like being a cog in a well oil machine. You found yourself enjoying the shift a bit more, maybe the lack of sleep was making you delirious or maybe it was due to the fact that it seemed like all the patients were actually happy to see you when you entered their rooms. You chalk that up to still having a face full of makeup done - was it frustrating that people tended to respect you more when you were done up? Yes. Were you going to enjoy the fact you hadn’t had one patient try and curse you out yet? Also yes.
And maybe it was because you were coming off a terrible date, but you didn’t mind it too much when you found Jack watching you through the ER. Serves him right for what he did you think to yourself - look as much as you want buddy but you’re never getting it.
When 3am rolled around you finally felt the exhaustion start to settle in your bones, your movements were slightly slower and your brain lagging behind just slightly when trying to calculate medications. You tried to push through - it was still annoyingly busy for the night shift and you knew that everybody needed to help out where they could - you just needed a small break and a good coffee and you would be back on your feet. At least that’s what you thought when you were making coffee in the break room, until you woke up to the feeling of your head smacking the kitchen cabinet, right on the pointed handle.
You let out a noise of pain as your hand rushed to your forehead - grateful that you didn’t smash your eye into the metal hardware. Pulling your hand back you saw bright red blood covering your fingers and you felt the tears pool up in your eyes, not from the pain (although it was stinging like a bitch) but from the frustration of the day. It wasn’t enough for the universe to set you up on a terrible date and then make you work a double with your ex who seemed to either ignore you or tease you relentlessly but now you had a head wound.
“Woah - you good there sweetheart?”
You felt your blood already start to boil as Jack’s voice rang out throughout the break room, his hands already reaching to pull your hand away from your forehead. You shrugged out of his grip, trying to move around him to find somebody else to patch you up.
“M’fine.” You mumble, not daring to look into his eyes. You did not want to deal with Jack’s teasing tone today - couldn’t stomach the thought of him trying to care for you.
“Doesn’t look fine to me, you need to sit down.” His hands were back on your shoulders, pushing you to sit down in a break room chair. You felt your resolve give in slightly as the blood continued to pour down over your eye - the frustration of your entire feeling like a cruel joke played by the universe.
“Jack seriously it’s fine, small accident you can go.” Your tone was harsh and you were too busy trying to keep the blood out of your eye - you were aware enough that it wasn’t a concern to be bleeding that much, knowing that a cut to the brow lends itself to an excessive amount of blood for a minor injury.
“I’m not going anywhere, not until you’re all patched up.” Jack moved from the breakroom to grab a suture kit as well as washing his hands before returning back to you. If you could see him you would roll your eyes at his level of precaution - knowing that he wouldn’t apply the same safety to himself.
“How’d this happen?” Jack asked as he pulled out the clean gauze, removing your hands and pressing it to your forehead, returning your hand over the pads to keep the pressure. You wanted to kill him, or yourself - at this point you didn’t care who just as long as one of you wasn't here.
“Must’ve nodded off or something, smacked my head into the kitchen cabinet.” You watched as he set up the suture kit on the breakroom table - grateful that he wasn’t forcing you into a bed and making you go through the whole process. Yes it was hospital policy but the last thing either of you wanted was to write an incident report over a minor head laceration.
“Nodded off? Are you sure you're good to work?” You hated the way that he said it, as if he was genuinely concerned for wellbeing. Jack Abbot didn’t care about you, not when he had another lover in his life.
“I’m fine.” You snapped, allowing Jack to remove the gauze to check the bleeding. “Just a long day.” Jack only snorted a laugh in return, a small smirk creeping up on his face.
“So the date really was that bad.” You felt yourself glare at Jack before hissing as the movement from your brows pulled the cut further.
“Shut it Abbot. Not in the mood.” You mumbled, just wanting this whole night to be over with. Jack only raised his hands in surrender before slipping on a pair of gloves, hands moving to your forehead to check the damage. You were lucky that it wasn’t too deep, but it was long and slightly jagged and part of you knew deep down you would need a couple of stitches.
“So are we doing this with or without the drugs?” Jack asked as he began to clean your wound, soaking the pad in the antiseptic liquid and dabbing it over the cut, hand holding your head stable as you winced and tried to pull back.
“No drugs - don’t want to have to deal with the inquisition.” Jack only laughed as he tossed the used pad into the tray, hands setting up the small needle.
“What a brave girl.” You felt your body tense at Jack’s words, hating the way that you felt a heat rush to your core over the small praise. You know he was teasing you but after almost a year of hearing those words whispered in your ears as he thrust inside you, you couldn’t help but react.
“Just get it done Doctor.” Rolling your eyes as Jack smiled at you once again, hands coming back to your forehead.
“So bossy - missed that about you.”
You felt the wind be knocked from your chest at the words. What did he mean by that? Why on earth would he miss anything about you considering he was the one who broke your heart. You tried to ignore the sting of the needle and willed yourself to relax and Jack worked his magic.
“Don’t.” It was all you could say, you weren’t sure what you meant by it, truly, just aware that if he continued to say those things to you, you would only end up confused. You didn’t need that type of confusion, you were over him - so totally over him.
“Just complimenting my best nurse - am I not allowed to?” Jack wasn’t looking you in the eyes, instead focused on the stitches he was currently giving you. He knew that you didn’t truly care about scaring but he didn’t want to leave you completely deformed because he was too distracted looking in your eyes instead of your wound.
“Jack I’m serious,” tears were welling up in your eyes, not from the pain of the stitches but from the treatment. “You don’t get to say those things to me anymore.”
Jack knew you were right, that his selfishness led to him letting go of the very best thing he had since he lost his wife. He didn’t even truly know why he did it, part of him was sure that he was doing the right thing; letting you go to live your life without being tied down by his nightmares. The other part thought that maybe he did it because he was scared; scared to let you in completely and have you hate what was inside.
“What if I told you I made a mistake?”
There was a long silence between you as Jack tied off the end of the stitches, cutting the end. You didn’t know how to respond, a mix of anger, confusion, hope and heartbreak swirling around your chest.
“I would tell you to save it for your therapist - are we done?” Without waiting for a response you stood up from the chair and stormed out of the breakroom. Your coffee and Jack both forgot and as speed walked to the bathroom - head down so nobody noticed the dried blood that remained on your face along with the stitches.
You allowed yourself five minutes in the bathroom to catch your breath and clean off your face. You couldn’t believe him - that he would choose that moment out of all the opportunities he had to finally talk to you. It was just like him - thinking only of himself with no regard to your well being. You ended your pity party by wiping away your tears, planting a smile on your face and exiting the bathroom as if nothing had happened - choosing to ignore the way Jack kept trying to get your attention for the rest of the shift.
The end of your shift arrived later than you would have liked and you felt bad as you barely acknowledged the day shift trickle in as you grabbed your stuff from your lockers and borderline ran away from the hospital. You were tired, had a slight headache and were emotionally spent over the brief moment you and Jack had that night - you needed a 12 hour sleep and 3 hour shower to even think of recovering from it all.
After the world's longest shower your prayers of sleeping the rest of your life went unanswered as you heard a loud knock at your door. You could feel the annoyance you managed to leave behind at the hospital creeping back in as you assumed it was a neighbour coming over to complain about your loud music (so you like performing concerts in the shower - it's not the end of the world Janice.)
Instead, however, of your elderly neighbour standing in your doorway it was Jack Abbot. Your Jack Abbot. The Jack Abbot that admitted not even 12 hours ago that he made a mistake. The Jack Abbot who broke your heart without warning and is apparently seeing Samira Mohan.
“What do you want?” You spat as you leant against the door frame - hoping Jack would get the message that you were in no mood for him to be around.
“We need to talk,” Jack held up a plastic bag in his hand, almost as a peace offering. “I brought you wonton soup considering your dinner was interrupted.”
You felt your eyes turn into a glare as you glanced between the bag and his face, it wasn’t as cocky as it had been back at the hospital - now it felt like you were staring into the eyes of a stray puppy that had just been kicked to the curb… in the middle of a storm.
“Jack. You had your opportunity to talk to me six months ago when you broke my heart - remember that?” Your hands, despite your words, reached out for the plastic bag and ripped it out of his grip. “Thank you for the soup. Now go home or back to Mohan or whatever you do with your life now.”
You attempted to shut the door but your actions were stopped when Jack blocked it with his good foot - you only felt slightly guilty as he let out a groan as the door slammed into him - the feelings dissipating as he wormed his way in through the gap.
“What do you mean go back to Mohan?” You only scoffed in response - placing the bag on the ground so you could attempt to push Jack out of your home.
“You know what I mean - I’m a nurse Jack. We talk.”
Jack only stared at you with confusion as his hands wrapped around your wrists, stopping your feeble attempts of getting rid of him.
“Well I’m sorry to say but whoever you have been talking to is making things up - there is nothing going on with me and Mohan.” You rolled your eyes, ripping your hands out of his grasp. You accepted that he wasn’t going to leave, not yet anyways, so you instead grabbed the takeaway bag and walked off to your kitchen.
“So you haven’t been arriving to work early just to spend time with her?” Jack was silent, answering your question without saying a word. “Yeah that’s what I thought.”
You shook your head as you pulled the bowl out of the bag, rummaging through your cupboards and drawers for a bowel and spoon.
“It’s not like that,” Jack moved over to your kitchen island, arms coming to rest on the wooden countertop. “I get in early so I don’t run into you.”
“Oh so you aren’t seeing another girl - you just don’t want to see me?” Jack could only gawk as you twist his words against him.
“That’s not fair - I was trying to give you space.” Jack retorted.
“Well then why are you here now Jack? Sure doesn’t look like you’re giving me much space now.”
You watched as Jack only opened and closed his mouth; watched as cogs turned over in his brain.
“I’m here because you went on a date.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes again as you poured the soup into your bowl.
“Jack you broke up with me, you don’t get to come back into my life after six months of avoiding me all because I decided I deserved to move on.”
“I know. I know I’m being selfish but seeing you leave with him… it killed me.” Jack pleaded with you, hands reaching out for yours, where they had been gripping the bench, you pulled back before he could touch you.
“And how do you think I felt?” You questioned. “What about the fact you killed me when you told me you didn’t want to see me anymore?”
You could feel the tears return to your eyes as they had done many times over the past few hours and you hated the way that he still had such a hold on you. That despite the fact you hadn’t been together in six months you still felt that pull - that urge to let him in; to let him comfort you and make you feel better.
“I’m sorry,” Jack tried to ignore the way you rolled your eyes again, pulling yourself away from him further - your arms wrapping around your body as if you were trying to sooth yourself.
“I wasn’t thinking straight when I did that… all I could think about was how I was bringing you down - that you would’ve been better off without me pulling you under with me.”
“Jack,” your voice had gone soft. “You never pulled me under, you were my light, the reason I found myself smiling again… you were my home.”
Your words hung heavy in the air, filling your home with a sadness that neither of you could escape from. You hated the way you felt your resolve begin to crumble, that all the work you had put in in getting over Jack was falling away with one simple conversation. You watched as tears fell from his eyes, his whole head staring down at the kitchen countertop, and it broke your heart.
“I can still be your home,” Jack was pleading now, moving around the kitchen island to meet you. “We can go back to that.”
Jack pulled your hands into his, desperately searching your face for any sign of agreement. You didn’t want to give it. Didn’t want to give him the benefit of the doubt, not when he could easily turn around once again and break your heart all over again.
“Jack, I don’t think I can - when you left me I had no idea why and you wouldn’t tell me. I don’t think I could go through that again if you ever decided that you didn’t want me.”
Jack shook his head, small no’s leaving his mouth as he pulled you into his chest.
“No I wouldn’t - I wouldn’t ever leave you again I promise… my life has been miserable without you.” You didn’t struggle as Jack held you in his chest as tears rolled down both of your faces. “I made a mistake and I didn’t treat you right but I promise I will do whatever it takes to get you to forgive me - to trust me again.”
You didn’t want to give in; you didn’t want to admit the way his words made your heart beat again; admit that all you want is Jack Abbot, even with the pain. That a life with him was better than any other life you could have.
“We can’t go back to the way we were,” You pulled away from his hug, staring into his eyes. You watched as they seemed to fall, his arms going limp by his sides. “But… I’m willing to try something new.”
Jack could only smile at you, tears still in his eyes as he searched your face for any sign that this was a joke - a cruel prank you were pulling on him for hurting you so bad. He didn’t find any.
Jack lent in, hands moving to hold your jaw to stabilize you as he went to kiss you but you placed your hands on your chest and pushed him back.
“Not yet… If you want me back in your life Jack you have to earn it. I’m not just going to let you kiss me and forgive you, I want the romance and the trust needs to be rebuilt.”
“Anything you want, just as long as you don’t date that dickhead again.” You felt a laugh bubble out of your chest, and despite the fact you were still hurt you couldn’t help but enjoy the feeling of laughing with Jack again; as well as the feeling of his hands on your waist, as if your body was molded perfectly for him.
“I’ll make you trust me again, whatever it takes.” You smiled in response, unwrapping yourself from Jack’s grip before turning to your soup, forgotten in the bowl you had gotten out.
“You can start with letting me eat my dinner and sleeping in peace.”
Jack only nodded, placing a small kiss on the top of your head before you walked him over to your front door. He knew that he still had a long way to go to earn back your forgiveness but he was willing to put in the work - to show you that he was an idiot and that there was nobody else for him but you.
a/n: AHH i hope y'all enjoy this fic!! I honestly struggle to write Abbot, I feel like he is equal parts flirty/pessimistic/cheeky that its hard to find the line while adding in heavy trauma. pls let me know your thoughts and feelings hehe i love reading what yall have to say!!
also all my medical knowledge comes from greys anatomy, scrubs, the pitt and my mum (shes a nurse) - also i remember being a kid and playing with the suture kits my mum would bring home so its definitely not accurate as that knowledge is twenty years too old
