Deskshop | Allan Lewis

Hello.

[allanlewisallan]

Saw These and Thought of You | October

The sun is down before dinner and leaves are wet on the ground. I know where I am this time of year: wrapped up in a hood and a flannel, staring through a window to a spotlight left on all night. It’s early. It’s late. I’m nervous.

“Seen anything good lately?” “Where?”

“What are you doing with yourself these days?” “I don’t know.”

I’m making time to look so hard at nothing that I can see through the wall. I’m spending time thinking circular thoughts about what I should be doing and where I should be going. I’m standing still, and everything is starting to feel like a run off of colour. Shadows, lights and colour.

[allanlewisallan]

Saw These and Thought of You - September

I spent a lot of time on the road this month, which means that none of these shots are of where I live. My hometown, I mean. What is that, anyway? My hometown? I’m not sure that I have any idea.

What if you’re never really satisfied with where you live, or what you do? Is that a problem? I’d say so. Is it uncommon? Probably not. Remote. Urban. Exciting. Quiet. I want all of these things but can’t wrap my head round any of them. You might respond by saying that they don’t match, or intersect, and you’d be right. I’m sorry, you are right.

These things don’t intersect, even when you force them. And so I’m stuck fighting a little war with myself. Lesson learned, I suppose.

[allanlewisallan]

Saw These and Thought About You | August

Warm walks in hot spots- the top down and all of that. You can always do with a bit of colour, which is what the summer is for. Falling apart on the floor.

We roamed our neighbourhoods, bought little treats with dwindling cash reserves, shared food and wine, and a few sorry tales of middle class misery. The trips we can’t afford, the things we wish we’d said. Shame on us for thinking any of this is that bad.

[allanlewisallan]

Saw These and Thought of You - July

Floating across a summer full of obligations: big feelings with old friends, days on decks, days in wrecks. Gas in, gas out. Even when I’m lost and battling 3-day hangovers, I  can’t find you anywhere. You’re hiding: behind a book; behind a screen; behind a smile that says “I don’t think so.” Summer of 2016 is turning into something awful(ly special), and I feel like I’ve spent it by myself.

[allanlewisallan]

Saw These And Thought of You | June

More colour this month, but not a ton of time for photos. A/B testing my life away, if you can believe that (I can’t). Still I managed to sneak some shots, as I always do, and here we are again.

The music’s missing, but the motivation’s returning. Gosh there’s a lot on, don’t you ever find?

Halfway through this project and I’m still thinking of you. Do you think we’ll ever meet and figure things out? One by one, perhaps we’ll try. Love you.

[allanlewisallan]

Saw These and Thought of You - May

I’ll never be a businessman- riding a bike around this farm town. I know that for sure. The knot in my chest tightens even as my heart grows fonder, but of what or for whom I’m not sure. I wish there were somewhere else to go- not an escape, just a new place. Seems like that could be part of the problem.

There’s a wedding in town in a few weeks. Let’s put on something nice. Let’s get some drinks going and sing the old tunes; dance the old dances; make the old jokes; give the old looks. Let’s go back and be there, together, for a little bit. And pretend we aren’t here for the rest of it.

[allanlewisallan]

A Little Below The Line | Part I

[allanlewisallan]

A Little Below The Line | Part II

[allanlewisallan]

Saw These And Thought of You - April

Tough month: bursting pipes, bursting hearts, and all sorts. Everything was going down, so there wasn’t a lot of time for photos. I made what could be made: a little set with light at its heart. There’s a zine, too. We’ll talk about that in a few days.

[allanlewisallan]

Saw These and Thought of You - March

The earth is getting handsomer. I can’t wait for Guns n’ Roses.

[allanlewisallan]

Saw These and Thought of You - February

Fun walk arounds. Made things happen with cold, chapped fingers. Sweating and seeing. All good.

[allanlewisallan]

Saw These and Thought of You - January

[allanlewisallan]

Exploring of a Crap Hotel.

Strongsville, Ohio, outside of Cleveland. The worst hotel I’ve visited in a while. Interesting pool, though.

[allanlewisallan]

Wee stud.

[allanlewisallan]

Shop Study: Conrad’s Barbershop, Winter 2015

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Navigator, Toronto, January 2015

[allanlewisallan]

Your man in Dale.