🤰
From here|| accepting || @manipulativebookmark
Send 🤰 for my character to either be pregnant with your character’s child OR have eaten way too much at a shared dinner with your character; the choice is mine
Nanao wrapped her hands around her teacup, bringing it to her lips and taking a shaky sip of the liquid within as she hum’d and nodded her way through their conversation. She was a prisoner of her own thoughts right now; weighing up various strategies and options while smiling on the outside, acting as if this was just another meeting between the two of them; a chance to discuss books or some other interest.
The tea did nothing to steady her nerves. In fact the smell made her nauseous, exacerbating her wan, slightly drawn complexion and offering a hint that she was not quite herself. She’d felt unwell since the moment she’d woken up and being here with him, knowing what needed to be done before they parted company was not helping settled her stomach.
Her head felt like a lead weight, thoughts swimming and brain wearied by the the news she had to tell; all the while Nanao slowly coming to the conclusion that there would be no comfortable way to do it. Part of her wondered if this wouldn’t feel so difficult if they were facing this many years from now having known each other a long time. Perhaps with the benefit of time, the subject would have been easier to broach; she would at least know his opinion on starting a family and be forewarned if the idea of a baby would send him running for the hills. A happy well planed situation years from now was not what they were facing however, and Nanao knew she had to face this unknown before it was too late. Leave it too long and he was certain to work it out for himself anyway.
The sudden absence of his voice made Nanao look up sharply, painfully aware she had no idea when he’d stopped talking or in fact anything he’d said in the last few minutes . She floundered for something to say,blushing at having been caught out, but gave up quickly and mumbled an apology. She let out a sigh, aware that her distraction had managed to gain his full attention and it wouldn’t be too much longer before he began to question what was on her mind. This presented Nanao with a window of opportunity and she knew that she couldn’t put it off any longer.
“Tsukishima?” she said after a moment, trying to sound offhand and matter of fact, but failing miserably. Her voice was unnaturally quiet, her eyes wide, betraying a little of her anxiety “I have some news, something you need to know“
desk-work-expert:
The waiting was easily becoming the hardest part of this, and, as Nanao stayed in silently in her seat, trying to force down her nausea and ignore her the instinct to cut her losses and run, she tried hard to give Tsukishima space to absorb her ultimatum. His eyes widened again as she finished speaking, and at that point, Nanao was convinced she’d managed to scare him off. It felt as if the floor had fallen out from underneath her, her stomach lurching as she turned paler still. She didn’t mind being alone, that much has been true, but she’d be lying if she said she’d been holding out the slightest bit of hope that he might choose to stay. Her mind turned to back up plans, turning over half formed solutions to her predicament in her head. It wasn’t a perfect outcome if he did decide to go, but one Nanao knew could be handled with enough prior planning.
So much planning, in fact, she almost missed what else he had to say.
The repetition of her question caught her off guard enough for her thoughts to change direction and narrow in on the sound of his voice; attention trained on this unexpected response. She nodded her head in acknowledgement; eyes a little bright, mouth thin and her expression pensive. She was able to see the hurt in his expression; a good enough attempt at acting for any deception to be lost on her, but not quite enough to make her feel guilty yet. That would come later, as his eyes softened and he actually began to look distressed at the idea of leaving her high and dry. That hadn’t been her intention, Nanao thought; she hadn’t wished to guilt trip. She’d only intend to remind him of his options and get the worst case scenario out of the way as quickly as she could.
“and why would you assume that any help from yourself would undermine my own autonomy?”
She sighed, deeply, half relieved at knowing she wouldn’t be on her own, half frustrated that this of all things, was what made him give such a vague answer in the first place.
“Your involvement is welcomed, I wouldn’t want you to think otherwise” she noticed the smile and returned it weakly, still pale but looking more relieved than she had in minutes “which, I suppose, means we need to figure out where we go from here”
She pushed the tea further away from herself, regretting ordering it considering the effect it was having on her. She could still smell it, and it wasn’t making getting through all this any easier; there was more she wanted to say, things they needed to get straight going forward.
“Sorry” she said, still eying the cup “but can you get rid of that and get me a drink of water instead? Then maybe we can talk practicalities”
The heightened emotions of the wait were visible in Nanao’s body language when Tsukishima raised his eyes, and the relief was plain once he finished talking. But she’d posed him a new question, one that was easy enough to answer.
“I didn’t mean to imply that any help from me would step on your autonomy… I did offer to be involved, even if the specifics were a bit vague for your comfort at the moment,” Tsukishima gave her an understanding smile to show he meant no derision with the comment before continuing.
“But had I reacted by, well, assuming that you needed any specific thing from me, be that emotional or financial support, or by fussing, or even by making plans that will affect your life while you’re obviously, understandably, still off-center - I think that would have been a bit heavy-handed of me.”
Tsukishima watched her interaction with her drink, already reaching for it as Nanao asked for it to be removed. “Of course,” he responded before making short work of disposing of the tea and asking the barista for a water as replacement.
But he looked around doubtfully as he set the water in front of her. “Do you really want to talk here, Nanao? I don’t mind waiting to discuss the particulars until we’re someplace less ... aromatic ... and more private,” he offered, seemingly in concern. “I think we got the most pressing bit over for the moment, at least.”
