The |S e x| Double Standards

[gwsprojectdg-blog]

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Summary

          My research has demonstrated that street harassment is far-reaching, without a doubt. Street harassment affects women of color in a harsh way. Street harassment is a hard concept to define and interpret due to the different factors that take part in it. Women have different experiences and reactions to street harassment, some mild and some extreme. It affects women in the United States and even globally. Raising awareness through art, protests, or even through doing research can make a big impact on the issue.

        My understanding of this problem has changed simply because of the research I have done and the experiences I have read about. I learned that street harassment is even more complicated than I thought. With this project, I have become a little angrier about this issue simply because it seems impossible to stop. It is everywhere, no matter where you go; it occurs more in the streets or urban areas and areas of poverty, but is unavoidable. There are different reactions to street harassment, passive-simply trying to ignore the harassment and active-confronting and fighting back towards the harasser, like Logan stated in her discussion with the class. Women learn to fear their surroundings and take precautions when leaving their homes because they never know when a harasser will come lurking in their corner.

-DG

[alltingswrong-blog]

I was curious to know how successful it was for you to find research on this topic. Since it’s a bit hard for someone to get in trouble for sexually harassing a woman on the street, it has often been overlooked. Street harassment is such an individual issue that its hard to create standards or a criteria for what can be considered street harassment. Which is why, in my opinion, there hasn’t been much legal help for these issues. 

[gwsprojectdg-blog]

Analysis of a Web Source

              The Huffington Post recently had an article on Tatyana Fazlalizadeh, the woman behind the public art project called “Stop Telling Women to Smile.” The article was titled, Fighting Harassment against Women with Beautiful Street Art, and it shed light on Tatyana’s work on street harassment.

               In 2012, Tatyana started this project of creating portraits of the brave women who shared their stories about being harassed in the streets. These portraits have statements on them as well like “My name is not baby” or “Women are not seeking your validation,” which are very powerful and create a bold presence for women, says Tatyana. These wheat paste portraits are posted in public places, usually in places that the women say are uncomfortable and unsafe for them. These portraits have been seen in many cities, such as Philadelphia, Chicago, Boston, and Los Angeles. Tatyana launched a campaign to fund her project, STWTS. According to the Huffington Post, the works are provoking a real dialogue concerning the treatment of women in public spaces.

               Tatyana realized that there are many different types of people that can relate to this. She states that as a black woman, it is particularly true that most people want to tell women that their experiences are not important or valid and she feels that with this growing project, that it will get others to see her and other women’s point of view.

               I am particularly glad that The Huffington Post had this article published because it discusses a really important issue and it informed readers of a person who is doing something really important and great to this cause. Even though this was not specifically about women of color, Tatyana Fazlalizadeh, a black woman, chose to create portraits of mostly women of color. I agree with everything said on this subject of street harassment in the article and with what Tatyana is fighting for. The questions that a person who cares about justice on the basis of gender might ask about this are do you think this is a solution towards the issue of street harassment? Do you think this might get enough attention that those harassers will realize their wrongs? These are important questions because street harassment is a real problem and these women are real and deserve to walk down the streets without feeling unsafe. I feel that this is an actual solution; these powerful portraits are purposely placed in the streets where potential harassers may see them. Even though these are just portraits, they send a strong message and let others know how unsafe the streets are for women. This post reminds me of the essay by Laura Logan such that it sheds light on street harassment and how powerful words are. Logan says that raising awareness makes a difference, even if its small and Tatyana’s portraits definitely do just that.  

-DG

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[alltingswrong-blog]

I definitely agree with  Tatyana on this one! I’ve experienced so much street harassment its sickening. For some reason, there are these misconceptions that black women are hypersexual and are often labeled as “hoes’, “Sluts”, etc, and I guess this has alot to do with the stats showing that most street harassment had been reported by black women. Its also sad that even though black women experience street harassment the most, its something that we have just accepted and deemed as normal; possibly because we’ve been told so often that our thoughts dont matter. 

[enforcedgenderroles-blog]

Description of How the Problem is an Intersectional Issue

The issue of enforcing gender roles in our society is most definitely an intersectional issue that reaches much further than gender alone. The problem affects people of different races and different societal classes much differently. For example, in a lower class working family the mother may be required to work alongside the father in order to support their family. In this case, there is no option of whether or not the mother should stay home to be a homemaker and caregiver. Instead, she is required to be these things on top of her requirement of working to provide for her family. In these situations, if there is an unequal division of labor in the home, it probably has a more extreme negative effect on the mother than the situation of a middle to upper class family. 

The knowledge I’ve gained on this subject immediately leads me to reflect back on Betty Friedan’s “The Problem That Has No Name”. Friedan was criticized for the lack of acknowledgement of women of different races and classes in her work. When we first discussed this criticism in class, I didn’t fully understand the issue  or the implications of it. After reflecting on the issue of enforced gender roles in families along with unequal division of labor, it makes much more sense to me. This issue is undoubtedly an intersectional issue, and it must be approached from all different angles and with respect to all different types of people. It is easy to listen to the largest group of people affected by the issue, but we must challenge ourselves to see beyond that and see how the problem can affect everyone. 

- Maddy Wilson

Photo Source: 

https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/by-betty-friedan 

** Note in her quote in the photo, she refers to American women and “The Problem That Has No Name”; what about women of different nationalities? 

[alltingswrong-blog]

I was curious to see how you would have explained how this could be an intersectional issue and you’ve done a great job at this. It definitely affects many other aspects of a women’s identity besides gender. Your example of a lower class family just highlights the more complex side of this issue and how it overlaps with many other issues. 

[enforcedgenderroles-blog]

Analysis of a Web Source

In this article, Fredric Nueman, M.D. discusses the normative gender roles within marriages, and points out how the idea of what is “normal” among marriage and family is changing, yet ever the same. 

He outlines the typical division of labor within a marriage at the time of his upbringing. The men were typically employed outside of the home, while the wife’s job included tending to all the household duties along with raising the children. The labor was segmented in a strict way, usually with no overlapping. 

The common situation in today’s society is much different. In most families, both the mother and the father are employed. This calls for a different division of labor inside the home. However, this new division of labor is essentially nonexistent. When we think of how a typical family divides the household duties between mother and father, or husband and wife, we see the same division of labor that was present many years ago. The mother is generally still assigned with the tasks of cooking, cleaning, and caring for the children, while the father is typically assigned with lawn-care and handy-man like jobs around the house. It is clear in this current normative relationship that the division of household labor has not evolved with the evolution of a working mother. 

I agree with everything Dr. Neuman has pointed out in his article. The fact that most mothers of our time are employed is a very empowering idea for women. However, women have generally not been rewarded for their hard work because  they are still typically expected to fulfill all the household duties that a stay-at-home wife and mother would be expected to fulfill. All the while, men are expected to chase their careers and provide for their family. When they get home after working, however, they are usually not expected to provide dinner and clean the house, like a typical working mother would be. 

I think it is also important to point out, as Dr. Nueman has in his article, that these ideas most definitely do not apply to every family everywhere. These ideas are more of a generalization on a trend that is apparent in today’s society as well as historically. 

There are many questions to consider on this topic and specifically this article, such as: 

- Why hasn’t the division of household labor evolved with the evolution of working mothers? How is this fair? 

- What can we do to change this? 

- What does this mean for same-sex marriages and families? Does this stem back to the issue of compulsory heterosexuality? 

- Can we think of aspects of marriages and family roles that have changed in respect to the evolution of a working mother? 

- How does this article relate to Betty Friedan’s discussion on “housewife fatigue”? 

- Maddy Wilson

Article Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fighting-fear/201301/changing-gender-roles-in-marriage

Photo Source: 

http://thecareerist.typepad.com/thecareerist/2013/01/sex-and-housework.html

[alltingswrong-blog]

That has been my biggest question with the issues, why hasn’t theses roles and expectations changed since majority of the women in todays society work. There roles are not the same and in most cases they have completely switched. I am currently a nanny for 3 different families and with each of my clients the wife is the head money maker. It think its about time that these roles eliminated because its definitely clear that they no longer apply to the strong, independent, working women of today!

[alltingswrong-blog]

Analysis of a Web Source

Sexually Active Teen Girls More Likely To Be Bullied Than Similar Boys, Study Finds By Alexandra Svokos

In the article, Svokos discuss the facts that came from a study done on sexual active teenage girls and their experience. It is clear that there are many double standards between women and men based on gender. Women are supposed to have little to no sexual partners while men are able to run wild and be open with their sex lives. Svokos used data from a 2011 national survey of high students and it revealed that sexually active high school girls have reported being bullied two times more often than the male sexually active students. However, reports show that both boys and girls are more likely to report bullying if they said they were being sexually active without using condoms.

Though  this article was very interesting, this was not breaking news to me. Double standards have always been around and it is sad that it is just not being noticed. Boys who have sex are praised while girls who have sex are shamed. That how it was 30years ago and thats how it is today. The problem is, however, that kids today take bullying to higher, unacceptable levels. My question is where are the teachers and staff when this bullying is going on? Also, for the kids who’s moods and behaviors are largely affected, do the teachers just not know the students enough to notice or do they simple don’t care? 

[alltingswrong-blog]

Reflection

My experience with working on this project has been very interesting. I personally dealt with gender double standards before I even knew the term existed. Growing up a tomboy was difficult. I was continuously judged and stereotyped for having “too many boy friends”. While looking for research for my paper, I learned that I was not the only person who had dealt with this at a very young age. In fact, I learned that it was quite common for theses stereotypes to be thrown at a girl at a very young age. I also learned there was a lack of research for this topic as I was trying to find scholarly articles and failed to find different options. This has enabled to me view this issues a lot different in regards to my motivation for spreading awareness. 

 This research has taught me to be more aware of society’s attempts to further marginalize and oppress women by not allowing them to be free with their bodies and their personal sex life. As I stated before, many people make sex decisions not based on their personal opinion or wants but their fear of what society will say about them. We need to teach women and encourage women to explore their sex lives and we as a society need to refrain from judging them. What this project has also taught me is to not be a hypocrite and to practice what I preach. Though I have had some personal experience with this issue, I found myself still judging other women based on the outside, without even knowing them. Based on theses same gender stereotypes that made it had for me growing up a tomboy. Now, the question is what can I do to help? I think my biggest contribution is to shine a bigger light on this issue. Of course, it is going to take a big change within our view as a whole in order to begin to erase theses stereotypes, but it can be a start. If I can continue to post and speak out on theses issues through my social accounts or even within my peer community, it can lead to someone seeing the issue different. 

[alltingswrong-blog]

Resources

1.Slut Shaming 

- http://flavorwire.com/454895/warpaints-beyonce-and-rihanna-slut-shaming-reveals-a-racial-double-standard-about-womens-sexuality

On this website you will find an article by Tom Hawking that discusses the many challenges that women face with these sex double standards. He focuses mainly on some of the most popular artists and how this too affects them.

- http://www.popsugar.com/search?s=slut%20shaming

I found majority of my articles on this website, with the exception of the scholarly articles I found on a journal website. These articles were mainly from women who have had personal experience with this issue 

-”He’s a Stud, She’s a Slut” By Jessica Valenti

I found a few excerpts for this book written by Jessica Valenti that were very interesting. From the parts of the book that I read, it seems like she also takes  a personal stance and speak more from personal experience. 

2. Scholarly Articles 

-http://www.demographic-research.org/volumes/vol30/46/30-46.pdf

Here is the link to one of the scholarly articles that discussed some general views and guidelines for theses double standards. What I liked about this article is that it included some actual data from multiple surveys that the authors conducted

-http://spq.sagepub.com/content/72/2/143.abstract

Here is the PDF download link for the other scholarly article that I found. Here, the authors also discuss some of the origins and affects of sex double standards. However, they focus more on sexually active youth to show that issue does not only affect adult women. 

Additional Sources

1. http://www.popsugar.com/love/Bachelorette-Kaitlyn-Bristowe-Cyberbullying-37894513

This is a pretty interesting articles on an insight of how many reality TV show stars, women of course, face humiliation and slut-shaming on national TV. This post specifically talks about Kaityln Bristowe from the Bachelorette and how she is coping with hateful comments she received from viewers. It can be interesting as it give insight of someones personal experience and shows that this issue affects everyone, even famous people.

2. http://www.popsugar.com/love/Having-Sex-First-Date-Slut-Shaming-30864719

This article discusses the many views of women who have sex on the first date and whether or not it turns into a relationship. This article is very helpful as it shows that some women’s biggest enemy is themselves as women often bash themselves or feel bad after casual sex.

3. http://www.returnofkings.com/17646/why-there-will-always-be-a-sexual-double-standard

This article gives a very different yet very interesting view of why the author believes that there will always be a sexual double standard. It may seem a bit negative and seems to blame women but it states alot of facts that most feminist avoid. It can be helpful as it gives some ideas of how women can avoid being victimized. 

4. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/strictly-casual/201403/is-our-sexual-double-standard-going-away

This article discusses the possibility of double standards possible going away. The double standard may have shrunk in the public dialog, but it's still in the private self-image. It can be a very helpful resource topic when comparing the origins of double standards to the current double standards.

5. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHZ04zp8lN4

Here’s a link to a youtube video that I watched regarding the sex double standards. I think this video is pretty helpful because it gives a man insight to theses issues and proses a few solutions to the issue. I believe it is always fair to get both sides of a story and to honor and accept the views of all. 

[alltingswrong-blog]

Solutions for Sex Double Standards

After much research and reflection I have conducted a list of what I think are the best ways to address the issues caused by sex double standards. 

1. Acknowledgement is POWER: The one thing I have noticed while completing my project is the simple fact that this is not considered an ”issue” within the scholarly world. It was extremely hard for me to find articles written by professionals on these topics. Many of the articles I have found were based on a woman’s personal experience. To many research professionals, sex double standards seem to be  a personal issue and does not affect many. However, this is incorrect. These sex double standards have affected and taunted the lives of many women and don’t allow them to be individuals. Which is why I believe that the very first step in addressing this issue is simply acknowledging that there actually is an issue. If this issues is continuously ignore or only acknowledged by those who have experienced it, the problem will never go away. It will continue to be acknowledged as a personal problem and a problem that has many biases attached to it. If we as a society openly acknowledge and discuss this problem then maybe we can find a solution once and for all. 

2. Elimination of Gender Roles: The origins of these sex double standards come from the creation of gender specific role. Starting at birth, male and females children are treated differently and theses differences in treatment are even more noticeable as the children grown into adulthood. These gender roles shape each gender and create guidelines for how each woman and man is supposed to behave. What this has done, however, is marginalize women who act outside of their specific gender roles and make excuses for men. If we can begin to disregard these gender specific roles then we can finally begin to work towards eliminating sex double standards. If there are not social guidelines for how each gender is supposed to act then each gender would be allowed to be themselves without the fear of being judged. 

3. Simply, Mind Your Own Business! : These sexual double standards is something that sneaks into a persons relationship and even destroys their sex lives every time they check themselves. Now, this doesn’t mean that they are thinking of what it is that they do and don’t like about their partner but more-so about what society will think. Consent to sexual relationships should be a personal choice or a mutual choice between you and your partner; it should not be based off our societies expectations of gender roles. Sex should be discussed between the people involved, not by society. Though this is much easily written than done because of the difficulty of dealing with this in real life, but it is something that needs to be done in order to move away from theses double standards.

[alltingswrong-blog]

Summary

Lets face it, there has always been and will always be double standards between men and women when it comes it sex. It originates from the many gender specific roles created for men and women. Men are the dominant, more aggressive gender, and are allowed to openly express his sexuality and is even encouraged to indulge in multiple sexual relationships. On the other had, women are viewed as fragile and are treated as such. They are expected to carry themselves in a respectable manner, and this does not include have multiple sexual partners and in most cases this does not include even speaking of or being open about their sex life. Therefore, any woman whose sexual behavior mimics that of a man is chastised and humiliated for her behavior. Many have question the reasons for this reaction, why aren’t women about to live their lives they way they want to without being judged?   

While doing this project, I’ve learned two very important aspects of this topic. One is that it is an extremely unrecognized problem. Now, I don’t mean that this problem is not acknowledged, because it is, but usually only by those who have been victim of slut shaming. This made my research for this project extremely hard, especially when it was time for me to find scholarly articles. Most of the articles I found on this topic were personal accounts and personal essays. From my experience on this project, topics such as theses are rarely researched and a solution has not been found. However, I myself have changed my views of these issues after doing this project. Before doing this project, I used to question why a woman would want to be able to have as many sexual relationships as she pleased without being judged. Within my family, it is a respect thing and it is a matter of carrying yourself as a lady. However, after doing my research and reading about different where women were unfairly judge for her sexual activities, I began to understand. For theses women, it is not about not wanting to be classy or not wanting to carry themselves as a respectable woman. It is about being about to do this but also being able to live their sexual lives without judgement. 

[alltingswrong-blog]

How Can This Be a Intersectional Issue?

Intersectionality is a concept that had existed for years and is defined as the study of overlapping or “intersecting” social identities with systems of oppressions, discrimination, or domination. Examples of this are sexism, racism, homophobia, etc. Gender double standards can be seen a intersectional issue, as it not only affects women. Yes, it is true that these double standards determine what is and is not appropriate sexual behavior for women and there are negative views for women who do not follow there roles. However, it can definitely be a race issue as well. 

There are many sexually negative double standards everywhere in society. On one hand, a white woman is praised and even idolized for being hypersexual. A white woman is able to be outwardly sexual and still be able to hold her high status within the society but if a black woman were to do the same, her character is broken. Take two very popular porn stars, Pinky and Angel. Both are females but Pinky is black and Angel is white. Both are in the same industry and are publicly sexual but Pinky catches way more negative views because she is black. Pop music has always been overtly sexual. From Madonna to Brittney Spears to currently Lady Gaga, the music industry has always been about sex in some way shape or form. However, the views that come behind theses artist clearly differ depending on race. There are so many negative views towards black women who are sexual but theses same views do not apply to white women.

[alltingswrong-blog]

[alltingswrong-blog]

Discussion of an Everyday Example

My Personal Experience 

I’ve had personal experience with the sex double standards on several occasions. Growing up as a tomboy, I had a lot of male friends. I hung out with my male friends quite often; from playing video games at their houses to climbing the fences at the park. At first, these things were pretty acceptable. I would more so get the talk about how “little girls don’t do that” but I was still encouraged to keep playing with my male friends, just not as roughly. I didn’t get the negative views of a female having male friends until high school, more so until I started dating. In today’s society, of course, a girl with many male friends can quite often be labeled as a “hoe” or “slut”. Mainly because there is this misconception that they have secret sexual relationships with their male friends. 

I’ve remained good friends with many of the boys I grew up with but this became one of the biggest issues in my dating relationships. I’ve had ex’s who were completely against the fact that I have male friends. I was often told that “You’re always with some dude...you have too many male friends and I don’t like it”. I was even accused on several occasions,  by my ex-boyfriend and well as his friends, of sleeping with one of my best male friends. Luckily, I am a pretty strong-minded individual and I did not let these negative assumptions get to me. However, for different girl with low self-esteem, this could lead to her possibly beginning to believe these accusations and feeling ashamed of herself. Though I didn’t not affect me emotionally or the way that I viewed myself, it did make me more conscious of my relationships with my male friends. When I began other relationships, I found myself distancing myself from my male friends in order to avoid that misunderstanding. Now, however, I’ve come to term with the fact that not every male can deal with the reality of their significant other having male friends, mainly because of these misconceptions and sex double standards. With that being said, I’ve continued to have my male friendships and I let that be know upfront. I should not have to change my groups of friends because of some ridiculous sex double standards and gender rules that don’t even apply to me. 

[alltingswrong-blog]

Analysis of a Second Scholarly Source

The Sexual Double Standard and Gender Differences in Attitudes Towards Casual Sex Among U.S University Studies By Paula England & Jonathan Bearak

In this article England and Bearak discuss the acceptance of casual relationships versus the acceptance of relationships. They investigate whether or not casual sex or “hookups” are good for women and even more if it is what women want. England and Bearak compiled several  surveys from U.S college students about their thoughts on casual sex and its acceptance in regards to men and women. Their results revealed that there was a negative view on women who indulge in casual sex in comparison to men.  

In the article, Bearak and England state that in the data results women underreport while men overreport. I did not find this to be surprising. All of the negative stereotypes about a women having casual sex would cause a woman to not be truthful when reporting. Women face much more disrespect than men do when it comes to casual sex. It was pretty confusing, however, some of the information that was reported then concluded. In the data reports from the college student’s survey, the authors state that there was evidence of double standards. This evidence was the fact that men willingly reported that they relieved oral sex while women were pretty reluctant to report. However, in their conclusion they state that they did not find a connection between the two. I disagreed with this, from previous experiences but also from the data given in this article. The difference of this article from the previous one is the extensive amount of data used. Also, the previous article discussed data from surveys done from an outside source while Bearak and England conducted these surveys themselves. However, both articles touch on some very important topics regarding sexual double standards. The fact that men are allowed to have as many casual partners and women are forced to monitor their partner’s causes oppression on the basis of gender. Why is this the case? Where do the origins of gender basis come from? What makes it ok for men to be promiscuous but not women?

[alltingswrong-blog]

Analysis of a Scholarly Source

“Sexual Double Standards and Adolescent Peer Acceptance.” - Kreager, Derek A. and Jeremy Staff

In the book, “Sexual Double Standards and Adolescent Peer Acceptance”, Kreager and Staff discuss the harsh reality of the sexual double standards when comparing men and women. They state how men are praised and rewarded for partaking in sexual activities but women are chastised for partaking in similar activities. For the purpose of this book, Kreager and Staff focus primarily on the social statuses of sexually permissive youth. 

The way that the authors discussed and supported their claim hugely differed from that of the previous web source that I analyzed. Kreager and Staff offered more reputable sources and data from personally done research, in order to support their assumptions. Whereas Jessica, in the previous post, spoke more about her opinions and her personal experiences, which made her article come off a slightly bias.

 The result of the data collected from Kreager and Staff show that greater numbers of sexual partners are positively correlated to boys peer acceptance and is the complete opposite for girls. This did not shock me in one way, as this has been the norm within our society for years. However, they also found that sexually permissive boys from disadvantaged backgrounds had more friends and higher popularity levels than sexually permissive boys from advantaged backgrounds. This was completely shocking for me. Growing up and going to school with kids from both disadvantaged and advantaged backgrounds, I did not see a difference. It was usually the boys who were not sexually active that were considered the “lames” and outcast amongst my peers. The question now is that, where are the youth of this generation getting their knowledge of sex from? The fact that there are studies being done on adolescent peer acceptance on sex is alarming. It seems as thought boys learn, at a very young age that is is ok to have sex and more so that is ok to have multiple sexual partners. This is the “cool” thing amongst youth. But where do they learn these things? One could suggest that it is from the sensor-less, adult rated movies and even some cartoon shows that are available for anyone to access via the internet or television.

Kreager, D. A., & Staff, J. (2009). The Sexual Double Standard and Adolescent Peer Acceptance. Social Psychology Quarterly 

[alltingswrong-blog]

Introduction

The topic that I will be focusing on in my blog are the many sexual double standards that exist between men and women. The issues of choice, birth control, number  of sexual activity , should and does lie solely within the individual and not their gender. One should be about to go out and about screwing whomever they like, as many times as they’d like, and make whatever contraceptive choices without feeling pressured to live up to a certain standard. But in today’s society, it does not work like that. Other peoples perception still manages to influence how we act and think everyday. For example, many women have held themselves back from having sex with someone “too soon” because of the fear of being labeled as a “hoe”, by friends, family and even strangers. On the flip side, if a man were to have sex with multiple women he would be praised for it.  Another example is the fact that most men have this idea that their lady should be “a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed”. This leads to many women trying to live up to these expectations and be secretive about their sex life, while men are allowed and enabled to boast about their sex life. 

I am very interested in this topic because it is one of the most socially accepted standard for women but it also causes women to be marginalized. Also, I have alot of male friends and have been viewed differently, in a negative way, because of this. In today’s society, having a lot of male friends is unacceptable for women, as we are consistently accused of sleeping around with our male friends. I think the major cause for these stereotype is that fact that most people, especially women, have accepted these stereotypes and have actually made it their goal to avoid being negatively labeled.  There have been many debates and protest for theses unequal stereotypes but in reality, what had change? I think it is very important to continue to educate other and shine light on these issues in order to progress towards equality amongst men and women. 

-AW