Enforced Gender Roles - Parenting in Romantic Relationships

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(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST0cR2-JcZ0)

[enforcedgenderroles-blog]

Creative Artwork

My artwork represents the typical division of labor in MY family, and many families of our same class and in our home area. I realize that this is not the case for everyone, I just wanted to show the issues that I see within my own family and that I have noticed among other families as well. 

I hope this drawing will make people more aware of the problem that many working women of today’s society face, including my mother. Unequal division of labor in the home traces its roots to the 1950′s housewife image and is still very present today. I hope this artwork provokes thought and emotion in my audience. I hope people can better understand the frustration and unfairness when able to view something visually. I hope people will simply take this issue into consideration when starting their own families and raising their own children. That is the best way to become the change and move towards ending this form of gendered oppression.

- Maddy Wilson

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Reflection

I had so much fun with this project because it allowed me to experience my creative side and explore many different angles of a problem I knew so little about. I grew up in a very normal middle class family. My dad has his household duties, my mom hers. This was never a problem for my family. It simply worked. But for those struggling with the idea that this is the one and only way to live, it could be hard to be forced into roles. This gender roles oppress both mothers and fathers, wives and husbands. 

This project has taught me how to evaluate different situations from a subjective viewpoint. It has really made me want to steer clear of the word “normal” and the ideas it carries. There is no normal in today’s society. We are changing and evolving with the times, and those who refuse to do so will be left behind. 

Parenting is all about compromise and finding what works. Although I have no say in how other people live their marriages and raise children, I can use the knowledge I have gained from this project to the benefit of myself, my future spouse, and my future kids. 

I hope this project helps others see marriages and family in a different perspective. I hope it helps people distance themselves from the typical gender roles of the past and embrace individuality and everyone’s choice. 

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Annotated List of Additional Resources

How To Save Marriage In America - http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/02/how-to-save-marriage-in-america/283732/ 

Such a good read! The article takes the idea of normative marriage in today’s American society and dissects every aspect of it. From pre-marital sex and cohabitation before marriage to the effect of poverty on families, it truly evaluates all different ideas of American marriages and families. Many great graphs and visuals. 

To What Extent Is Parenting Influenced By Gender Roles? - http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/extent-parenting-influenced-gender-roles-17579.html

A very interesting article that essentially lays out the ideas of typical gender roles among a family. Even points out things that we may not notice, but are undoubtedly present. Very easy to read and comprehend. 

Gender Stereotypes and Parenting - http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Parenting_Gender/

This article discusses how the gender roles of a mother and a father may affect their children’s ideas and attitudes towards gender. A typical example of this idea is a little girl who takes after “girly ideals” from her mother, and vice versa with a son and his father. Makes some interesting points. 

Do Kids Care If Their Parents Adhere to Traditional Gender Roles? - http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/04/do-kids-care-if-their-parents-adhere-to-traditional-gender-roles/275066/ 

This article takes an interesting approach to the discussion of parental gender roles. It emphasizes the idea of domesticated dads who take control of more household duties in order to contribute to an equal share of household labor. It considers what the children think of these ideas, and how it may affect them. 

Gender Roles In Parenting Changing Slowly - http://www.canada.com/life/gender+roles+parenting+changing+slowly/3051529/story.html

This article discusses how the traditional normative gender role perceptions are indeed changing, yet very very slowly. Like the previous read, it talks about the idea of domesticated dads and the benefits it has on the family. 

Having A Working Mother Works For Daughters - http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jun/24/having-a-working-mother-works-for-daughters

This article essentially destroys the negative perceptions among working mothers. There is an unrealistic idea that because working mothers have divided time and energy, they cannot do their best in either parenting or their careers. This is simply false. The article proves this by showing the positive impacts working mothers have on their daughters. 

Photo Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/191051209162478186/

[enforcedgenderroles-blog]

Suggested Solutions to the Problem

I really think that, first and foremost, the best step to alleviating the problem is attempting to evolve as a society. It seems we have already done so to an extent, but it is important to continue our progress. 

When it comes to enforced gender roles in parenting, I think the main way to solve the problem is to be open and supportive in marriages. Husbands and wives must be willing to work together to use each other’s strengths to the benefit of each other and the children. Romantic partners must let go of the prejudices they have about what each gender is supposed to do, and work together to come up with a plan about how their particular household will function. 

Furthermore, I think we must continue the progress by instilling these values in our children. By teaching young boys and girls to embrace being who they truly are, regardless of who the world tells them to be, it can help in the disappearance of enforced gendered roles and oppression. 

I had a wild idea regarding how to help diminish this problem. In most countries, working women receive time off prior to having a baby. Their husbands or partners do not. I think the husbands should be allowed a certain amount of leave prior to their wife having a baby. This can help the father be more involved in caring for the child right from the start. It could also help to eliminate some of the confidence issues discussed earlier. When men are given the opportunity to learn how to properly care for their child, they may be more excited and willing to embrace more of the household duties if they so desire. 

Photo Source: https://www.pinterest.com/7justleah7/gender-roles/

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This article was a very interesting read. I encourage you to check it out. 

http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/02/how-to-save-marriage-in-america/283732/

[enforcedgenderroles-blog]

Summary

This problem is undoubtedly extremely far-reaching across different dynamics of people and societies. It may seem like an issue only affecting straight couples with children. However, this oppression reaches much further than that. It carries with it the idea of compulsory heterosexuality, that gay couples must also adhere to the strict gender roles of man and woman, which we have discussed in class. This can be a huge issue for people who have just “come out” to society as who they truly are, only to be forced back into a preconceived gender role in which they feel uncomfortable. 

The problem affects working mothers everywhere and reaches even further to touch their families, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, employers, employees, co-workers, and many more. It also undoubtedly affects fathers who are weighed down by the ideas of how a man should behave, and what roles he should assume as a father. 

I enjoyed the research that showed that, essentially, the people who still believe in such strictly enforced gender roles are the least educated people of our society. They are also generally the most closed minded, as my previous articles have shown. 

This topic has undoubtedly allowed me to connect with some of the material we have discussed in class. Particularly Betty Friedan’s work and the issue of intersectionality. Before taking this class, intersectionality was a word I thought little of. I honestly didn’t really understand it. Now I am aware of not only the problems of my own class, race, gender, etc., but how these problems are different among different groups of people. People experience oppression differently, and it is important to recognize that. 

Photo Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/429038301971950695/

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Description of How the Problem is an Intersectional Issue

The issue of enforcing gender roles in our society is most definitely an intersectional issue that reaches much further than gender alone. The problem affects people of different races and different societal classes much differently. For example, in a lower class working family the mother may be required to work alongside the father in order to support their family. In this case, there is no option of whether or not the mother should stay home to be a homemaker and caregiver. Instead, she is required to be these things on top of her requirement of working to provide for her family. In these situations, if there is an unequal division of labor in the home, it probably has a more extreme negative effect on the mother than the situation of a middle to upper class family. 

The knowledge I’ve gained on this subject immediately leads me to reflect back on Betty Friedan’s “The Problem That Has No Name”. Friedan was criticized for the lack of acknowledgement of women of different races and classes in her work. When we first discussed this criticism in class, I didn't fully understand the issue  or the implications of it. After reflecting on the issue of enforced gender roles in families along with unequal division of labor, it makes much more sense to me. This issue is undoubtedly an intersectional issue, and it must be approached from all different angles and with respect to all different types of people. It is easy to listen to the largest group of people affected by the issue, but we must challenge ourselves to see beyond that and see how the problem can affect everyone. 

- Maddy Wilson

Photo Source: 

https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/by-betty-friedan 

** Note in her quote in the photo, she refers to American women and “The Problem That Has No Name”; what about women of different nationalities? 

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Discussion of an Institutional Example

This issue affects many public institutions and in many diverse ways. An example of this is any typical employer who employs women with children and families. The unfair division of labor in the home can undoubtedly affect her work life by pulling her attention away from the duties of her career. There isn't much the employer can do about this situation without stepping over the lines established by equal-opportunity employers. It is without a doubt a sticky situation for both the employer and the woman employed, who must deal with the imbalance of labor in her home along with her career. 

As a society, we should definitely be concerned about this because of the magnitude of women it affects as well as the way it changes the workforce of our society. This idea relates to an article I read regarding how America tends to treat working mothers. The article details a mother’s struggle in balancing work and home life, pointing out that mothers must often employ a cost-benefit analysis when it comes to working and caring for their children. The article is interesting because it discusses the topic in the view of the mother rather than the employer. 

- Maddy Wilson

Photo Source (Article Also): 

http://www.salon.com/2015/07/25/treating_working_moms_badly_partner/ 

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Discussion of an Everyday Example

This problem can affect a typical family tremendously, and in many different ways. For instance, it has affected my own family. My mother works full time as a teacher. She wakes up two hours before she really has to in order to “reclaim her house” (as she likes to say). This includes cleaning, doing laundry, putting things away, etc. When she returns from work in the afternoon, she immediately begins cooking dinner for the family. After the family has sat down for dinner together, she will do the dishes and straighten up the house before sitting down to grade papers or help with her children’s homework. My father works full time as a Pharmaceutical Sales Representative, and is very successful in his field. His duties around the house include yard work and general repairs. 

The division of labor in my household, as in many other households in my area, is extremely unbalanced. My mother takes on much more household jobs than my father does, even though they both work full time. This unequal division of labor is never really spoken of, and my family is a very happy, healthy, and (somewhat) “normal” family. However, I know my mother must notice this unequal division of labor. Does she question it? Has she just come to accept the fact that she has higher expectations because she chose to work? Although unintentional, this unbalanced division of labor in the household is extremely oppressive, and essentially unfair. 

I think the positionally and cultural standpoint of my family’s situation is important to point out. We are a middle to upper class white family in a small, well off community. My father’s job alone is enough to support our family substantially. Does the fact that my mother doesn't have to work make a difference in the fact that the unequal distribution of labor in my family is essentially not discussed? 

This example is interestingly related to Betty Friedan’s “The Problem That Has No Name”. In her discussion, the women yearn to break free of the housewife career and pursue their own educational and professional dreams. In the case of the woman today, she has been able to pursue the career that she wants, but not without the responsibilities that tie her down at home. Essentially, if a woman wants to have a career for herself, she must accept the fact that the career must be in addition to her role as a housewife.  

- Maddy Wilson

Photo Source: 

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/522417625494809558/

[enforcedgenderroles-blog]

Analysis of a Second Scholarly Source: Gender Differences In Parenting Roles

In her article, Dianne E. Wille discusses a study she employed to discover how the historical model of parenting and marriage (mother caregiver/father breadwinner) might have changed with time. 

The study focused on 70 European American couples with 6-month-old infants. They used subjective reports from the parents as well as observation of the parents with the child. The trend among the 70 couples showed that the mother was the primary caretaker of the infant and the father spent more hours working than the mother did. This was discovered by parental reports as well as researcher observations. 

The parents were also asked to rate both themselves and their partner’s care-taking abilities. Not surprisingly, both parents tended to rate the mother as the better caretaker out of the couple. Interestingly, the mother tended to give her partner a higher care-taking score than he gave himself. This points out that the mother has more confidence in the father’s care-taking abilities than he does in himself. This lack of confidence in the father could contribute to the reason that the father does not “step up” more and become more of a caretaker for the child. 

I found this article extremely interesting and agreed with a lot of the things it pointed out. I particularly liked the way it looked at the father’s typical involvement, or lack thereof, in childrearing. People often focus on the mother’s enforced gender role of maintaining the house and accepting the childcare duties. The father’s situation is often ignored, because the ideal father’s place has always been working outside of the house. Not much has changed in that aspect. However, with the slowly evolving idea that women are able to work outside of the house as well, the division of labor should be reconsidered and the father’s role in childrearing should be increased. 

While reading the article, I had many questions flooding my mind, including: 

- Where does this lack of confidence in fathers come from? 

- How are fathers facing oppression, the same way working mothers are? 

- Do you think this sort of off balance familial hierarchy can have negative affects on the children? 

- Maddy Wilson

Article Source: 

http://link.springer.com.proxy.cc.uic.edu/article/10.1007%2FBF01544780  (must log onto UIC to access)

Photo Source: 

http://jimvigilante.com/genderrolesinmarriage/

[enforcedgenderroles-blog]

Analysis of a Scholarly Source: Gender Role Attitudes and Marriage Among Young Women

In this article, Jennifer S. Barber and William G. Axinn discuss their empirical research regarding gender role attitudes and marriage among young women. They point out two major reasons for the interest in this particular topic. First, it is well known that individuals’ attitudes toward gender roles can influence certain behaviors, such as marriage and family life, career choices, and educational choices. Second, these attitudes and beliefs about what is considered normal roles for both men and women have been rapidly changing over the last century. The societal value of these attitudes along with the shift in ideals calls for research into the subject. 

With their study, the authors’ main goal was to “examine the relationships between gender role attitudes and marriage among women in early adulthood” (Barber 12). They strictly defined these “attitudes” as the views related to men’s and women’s roles in marriage and family in order to study them more clearly. They integrate aspects of education and cohabitation into their study to attempt to fully understand the entire situation and take into account people’s varying life situations. 

The results of the study clearly indicated that women’s gender role attitudes impacted their decisions about marriage. They found that women who hold the attitude that wives should be primarily homemakers tend to be the ones who do not live with their partner before marriage (cohabitation). According to the authors, “this result may indicate that women who believe that wives should stay home are opposed to new forms of family organization, such as cohabitation. In other words, these women tend to have attitudes that coincide with the common belief at the time of the early 20th century, and their attitudes have not evolved with the changing world today. 

I agree with all of the topics discussed in this research article. As they pointed out, attitudes toward gender roles are extremely influential in how both women and men behave, both socially and in the work field. However, there has not been much research regarding the issue, as the authors have pointed out and I have discovered myself when researching. It is not hard for me to believe that women who believe in such strict and oppressive gender roles are not open to new ideas of living, such as cohabitation before marriage or even cohabitation with no intent to marry. Cohabitation in today’s society is actually very common, not only for a simple relationship structure but also a familial structure as well. Many couples live together before marrying, with or without children, and it is typically accepted as normal. 

I did not find myself disagreeing with anything the authors had proposed in this article. I did, however, come up with many questions to ask myself and my peers when reading:

- Why do you think the women who believe so strongly in the oppressive gender roles are more likely to NOT enter into cohabitation with their partner before marriage?

- Why do you think these women believe so strongly in these gender roles in the first place? How do they not see that this is oppressive not only to them but to the men in the marriages/relationships as well? 

I wish I could speak with some of the women in this study and ask them some questions myself. Sigh. 

This article takes a much different approach to the topic of enforced gender roles than the web article in the previous post. While the web article was an extremely interesting discussion about the idealized gender roles among marriage and family institutions, the second article’s main goal was to come up with facts and data regarding the issue. It was interesting how the authors proposed their results and suggested what these results might mean, without extrapolating and attempting to give reasons for these results. I enjoyed being able to come up with my own reasons as to why the researchers found what they did. 

The ideas of this article remind me slightly about the discussion with Laura Logan on street harassment. During the discussion, it was pointed out that the men who street harass are undoubtedly also contributing to the oppression of themselves, most likely without even knowing it. This relates so much to the idea of how the women who believe strongly in the gender roles of marriage are unknowingly contributing to their own oppression as well as the oppression of the women around them. 

- Maddy Wilson 

Article Source: 

http://www.jstor.org.proxy.cc.uic.edu/stable/pdf/4121009.pdf?acceptTC=true (must log into UIC to access)

Photo Source: 

https://feministtalk.wordpress.com/2012/08/12/hello-my-name-is-bride-an-analysis-of-weddings-gender-roles-and-marriage/

[preschoolfeminism]

Having a working mother works for daughters

Harvard study finds daughters of mothers in paid employment have better careers and more equal relationships

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Analysis of a Web Source

In this article, Fredric Nueman, M.D. discusses the normative gender roles within marriages, and points out how the idea of what is “normal” among marriage and family is changing, yet ever the same. 

He outlines the typical division of labor within a marriage at the time of his upbringing. The men were typically employed outside of the home, while the wife’s job included tending to all the household duties along with raising the children. The labor was segmented in a strict way, usually with no overlapping. 

The common situation in today’s society is much different. In most families, both the mother and the father are employed. This calls for a different division of labor inside the home. However, this new division of labor is essentially nonexistent. When we think of how a typical family divides the household duties between mother and father, or husband and wife, we see the same division of labor that was present many years ago. The mother is generally still assigned with the tasks of cooking, cleaning, and caring for the children, while the father is typically assigned with lawn-care and handy-man like jobs around the house. It is clear in this current normative relationship that the division of household labor has not evolved with the evolution of a working mother. 

I agree with everything Dr. Neuman has pointed out in his article. The fact that most mothers of our time are employed is a very empowering idea for women. However, women have generally not been rewarded for their hard work because  they are still typically expected to fulfill all the household duties that a stay-at-home wife and mother would be expected to fulfill. All the while, men are expected to chase their careers and provide for their family. When they get home after working, however, they are usually not expected to provide dinner and clean the house, like a typical working mother would be. 

I think it is also important to point out, as Dr. Nueman has in his article, that these ideas most definitely do not apply to every family everywhere. These ideas are more of a generalization on a trend that is apparent in today’s society as well as historically. 

There are many questions to consider on this topic and specifically this article, such as: 

- Why hasn’t the division of household labor evolved with the evolution of working mothers? How is this fair? 

- What can we do to change this? 

- What does this mean for same-sex marriages and families? Does this stem back to the issue of compulsory heterosexuality? 

- Can we think of aspects of marriages and family roles that have changed in respect to the evolution of a working mother? 

- How does this article relate to Betty Friedan’s discussion on “housewife fatigue”? 

- Maddy Wilson

Article Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fighting-fear/201301/changing-gender-roles-in-marriage

Photo Source: 

http://thecareerist.typepad.com/thecareerist/2013/01/sex-and-housework.html

[enforcedgenderroles-blog]

Introduction

For my project, I decided to focus on the problem of enforced gender roles related to parenting among romantic partners and in marriages. This issue contributes greatly to oppression on the basis of gender because it teaches people to conform to society’s roles and expectations. Furthermore, it fills people with the notion that if we don’t conform to these expected roles, we will be outcasted and be seen as different. This relates back to the ideas of praise and punishment in regards to behaving the way society teaches us to behave.

When we think of parenting among romantic partners, we generally think of a mother and a father with very different parenting roles. The mother tends to be the nurturer for the children because women are often seen as more emotional and “in touch” with their feelings. On the other hand, the father is often seen as the protector of the family because men are supposed to be tough and stern. This is just the beginning of the enforced gender roles among parenting issue. I am interested in this problem because it’s so evident in today’s society, but it is also extremely overlooked. I want to raise awareness to the issue and show how it contributes to oppression.

- Maddy Wilson