Something I’ve noticed…..
The veterinary community is VERY tightknit and VERY adverse to criticism. Vets will band together and defend each other almost blindly. The idea that we, pet parents, know more about our animals and their specific conditions more than some random vet does is seen as ridiculous. Asking questions and demanding a second opinion… Or even just a reason and explanation for an existing opinion… is deemed “wrong,” “bad,” “annoying,” “rude.”
A few weeks ago, a vet told me to put my cat down when she came in for an emergency visit. She implied I was selfish for saying no. Two hours later, my cat’s condition had improved ON HER OWN so much that she was comfortable discharging her to come home. She was sent home with dewormer. When I asked “do we have any reason to think she has worms?” I was met with frustration at the question and I was told “this will help.” I asked “How?” I was met with more frustration and again told “this will help.”
I was asking because this particular cat had gone through MANY rounds of dewormer when I first got her this past August and she is an indoor only cat. Her having worms would be a) very concerning and b) I would like to know what I need to do to ensure that we ACTUALLY kill the worms this time. The vet, however, didn’t care. She didn’t want to answer my questions. She wanted me to be a good little pet owner and take the meds home and do what she said.
I was just reading on @ask-a-vetblr and their rules state that they will not “engage in vet-bashing,” whatever the hell that means, in their FIRST FAQ point which is about questioning a vet or wanting a second opinion. I have had a vet I feel was actually and fully medically neglectful to my cat – which resulted in the death of that cat. A pet parent dealing with that is terrified and doesn’t know what to do. They need guidance and compassion. Not anger and defensiveness.
I think we need to understand that vets are doctors. And doctors are not immune to mistakes. It is healthy and should be encouraged to ask your doctor questions. You are prescribed a medication and you SHOULDN’T be shamed or made to feel bad for asking basic questions like “What is this medication for?” “How does this medication work?” “What can I do to change my diet/behavior/environment/life to ensure this health problem doesn’t reoccur?” Most people will agree these questions shouldn’t be responded to defensively or negatively and a doctor responding to these negatively is a HUGE redflag of a potentially abusive or neglectful doctor. All of these are questions I’ve seen, personally, vets get very angry and upset hearing. And by that I mean most vets I’ve seen asked these questions have reacted poorly enough that if they were my own human doctor, I’d have left the appointment without paying and called my insurance company to block payment immediately.
Blogs like ask-a-vetblr should be teaching people how to navigate disagreeing or questioning their vets. Vets online should be providing us with resources to advocate best for our non-human loved ones. Instead, there’s a power play of dismissiveness and defensiveness that I feel really needs to be addressed. This imagined “war” between “pet parents” and “vets” shouldn’t exist!
And you can see vet resentment of pet parents in other places too. When covid first started, I saw so many vets online posting about how happy they were they got to do their jobs with the sick pets while the “annoying people” waited outside. I’ve known people in vet school who said their classmates frequently talk about how they are becoming vets because they “hate people” or “animals are so much better than people.” I heard one vet student a few years ago say she was becoming a vet because she wanted to “protect animals from their owners.”
Pet parents want what’s best for their pets too. We’re all out here doing our best. And yeah, there’s shitty pet parents who don’t care. And yeah, there’s a lot of excuses about non-human animal neglect. And yeah, there’s very little consensus on what IS neglect of our non-human animals. But none of that excuses this power play abusive dynamic between vets and pet parents. We SHOULD be able to challenge you and you SHOULD welcome that. A pet parent who is observant and attentive enough to their pets and their needs to ask you questions and challenge you on certain things should be WELCOME and ENCOURAGED! You should WANT to explain everything to us so we can better understand. The goal is “fewer sick pets.” We, also, share that goal!!! We are not your enemy!
I just find this dynamic truly abusive and awful and almost no one speaks about it. Medical abuse isn’t just a human problem. It is not socially acceptable for human doctors to act like this anymore and it shouldn’t be socially acceptable for vets either. NO medical professional should behave this way. No matter what species they serve.
*NOTE: I tagged ask-a-vetblr for a quick easy link to an example of what I’m talking about NOT because I want to fight anyone. That blog is not the only place I’ve seen it – its just the post that inspired me to make this post and, therefore, a quick and easy link.
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