Cosmic Funnies
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ojovivo
Product Placement
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
ellievsbear
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
macklin celebrini has autism
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The Stonewall Inn
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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RMH
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seen from Vietnam
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@alluringdxrkness
“ Did you come in here to make sure that the room was right-side-up or did you want something? ”
“Well, you can’t be too careful these days. All this fancy technology, who knows which way up your room could be tomorrow,” Klaus commented lightly. “I didn’t realise I needed a reason these days to check on my favourite daughter.”
“ Oh I-I could kick your ass. ”
“Is that so, pipsqueak?” Klaus smirked, eyeing his nephew with amusement. “And in this amusing little hypothetical of yours, how long does it take me to gain the upper hand and throw you off the roof?”
“There are some children in there. They did laugh when you got hit on the head. Don’t kill the children please!”
“I’m not going to kill the children,” Klaus muttered, rolling his eyes. Just how much of a monster did she take him for? He didn’t kill children unless he was feeling particularly vengeful and well... laughing at someone being hurt was one of his favourite hobbies, he couldn’t really blame them for that.
“...Just terrify them to the point they will never laugh again. Is that reasonable?”
Things that were actually said at D&D
I ended up writing down my favourite lines, so I guess they could be starter sentences…
“So much flame… I’m so wet right now.”
“I was too busy cackling maniacally to realise we were fighting people.”
“I have so many uses for a boy who turns into a crow.”
“Since when was not returning something you borrowed called stealing?”
“How are you not evil? You just chopped off an orphan’s legs!”
“Werebears can never be evil.”
“I’m out of bonus actions, I can’t have my cape billow dramatically.”
“I’m so hoping those were indentured slaves.”
“All ships are beautiful. #shipsarebeautifultoo.”
“All pirates are from Mother Russia.”
“Racism is not accepted on this ship! Except from me, because I am the superior race.”
“Which one should I stab? The one who got stabbed, or the one who hasn’t been stabbed?”
“Someone has been stabbed multiple times by multiple people and has also been hit with an ax.”
“You can’t really call it a sword. It’s just a big hunk of metal that’s been hammered into a point… even though that’s what a sword technically is.”
“You hit him. He goes ‘ow’.”
“The axeman’s name is Axel.” “Actually it’s Jim.” “Fight me, Axel!”
“Pity I didn’t manage to shove him down the stairs.”
“Suddenly he turned all red… he was also screaming, but that’s not the important part.”
“I called him Donkey Face and ran off.”
“He liked his collar last time.”
“Our morality doesn’t need to be questioned. We all know where evil stands.”
“He brought a person down specifically to kill them.”
“Can I just wave my rapier at them to make them feel better?”
“There are some children in there. They did laugh when you got hit on the head. Don’t kill the children please!”
“Arm the slaves!”
“Harm the slaves?”
“I’m gonna put the slaves in the party hole.”
“The slaves don’t get us paid.”
“Leave them in the fucking hole!”
“You cannot put them in that hole! Find! A different! Hole!”
“No one knows the ship’s falling. My job here is done.”
“You totally wanna be Daphne.”
“You don’t wanna be Daphne, she gets kidnapped all the time.”
“And yet she’s never been killed. She’s just really into the kidnap stuff.”
“You wanna be Fred. He’s totally banging both chicks and he’s not high or a dog.”
“You may have been charmed! But you’re an elf, so it would be difficult. Except you’re a really stupid elf sometimes, so I wouldn’t put it past you.”
“We’ve got the ship, we’ve got the gold, and nobody else knows…”
“You’re the worst kind of person and I appreciate that so much.”
“Everything for the scientific method - will lightning kill a bird?”
“He’s racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, bigoted because he called me hot air.”
“They’ve told stories of ___ and his beautiful gay lover.”
“You were an idiot!”
“The correct term is ‘fool’.”
“He’s still alive?! Not good enough!”
“I’m not even a rogue and I rogue better than you!”
“It’s like watching the nature channel - stripping off the hard outer shell, the ___ peels the M&M to reveal the soft, chewy centre.”
“Heal her and- oh, you’re alive.”
“It might be because I’m going to stab her. You better come with me to stop me.”
“Go find her undies.”
“You can find literally any other article of clothing in her room, and you want to find her undies? There is something wrong with you!”
“He wouldn’t let me keep the slaves locked up.”
“ I know things will never be the same. ”
Klaus didn’t reply, choosing to concentrate on his canvas instead. Of course things would never be the same. So much had changed. So much had been... confessed. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what Hayley thought about everything that had occurred. His brush streaked across the canvas savagely, betraying some of his inner turmoil.
“No... I suppose they won’t.”
❝ I heard you the first time. ❞
“Really? Because it doesn’t seem like you’re taking my advice,” Klaus said pointedly, his tone around the word ‘advice’ suggesting it was less of a suggestion, more of an order. “You didn’t used to be so... outgoing, a word I use very loosely, considering I’m outgoing but you don’t see me dancing on bars.”
❝ You lied to me! ❞
“I hate to say this, but you’re going to have to be a tad more specific, my Littlest Wolf,” Klaus muttered, pouring himself a drink. He had unfortunately told Hope a fair few lies over her time - white lies, lies that would be better for her in the end, but lies none the less. “What exactly are you referring to?”
Elijah….
❝ You will stay here, with us… won’t you? ❞
There was nothing in the world Klaus wanted more than to stay with Hayley and Hope. He’d never dreamed he could become so attached to either of them. If he’d been told that would be the case when he’d first met Hayley, he wouldn’t have believed it for a second.
“I will,” he promised. “I will stay right here, with you. Always and forever.”
Such an old sentiment, but one that still lay as the foundations for his family. Hayley was included in that now. He supposed he couldn’t really be certain that he would always be there for Hayley and Hope, but Klaus would certainly try. He was going to be a father to Hope, a good father. He wasn’t going to let Mikael haunt his parenting skills as well.
❝ You’re so… different. ❞
“Well, that would depend entirely upon your frame of reference, wouldn’t it?” Klaus asked pointedly. “I do hope it’s an improvement on whichever previous self you are projecting upon me. Or do we have a problem?”
❝ Do we have to do this? Must we? ❞
“I’m sorry, judging by the incessant whining escaping your mouth, you seem to be under the impression that you have a say in this decision,” Klaus said pointedly. “Perhaps your efforts might be better spent just going along with it so that some of us who might be so inclined decide not to remove your heart with a spoon.”
❝ I feel as if a link exists between your heart and mine. And should that link be broken either by distance or by time, then my heart would cease to beat and I would die. ❞ ( klebekah please hfdjsk !! )
Klaus played with Rebekah’s fingers, the shadow of a smirk gracing his features as he looked into her eyes.
“Funny how I seem to recall a time when you were less inclined,” he teased lightly. “But I am delighted to hear I have won you over so completely, dear sister. I fear my heart might meet a similar fate if you were to separate yourself from me again. Which I suppose means that heads will roll should anyone try to affect that outcome.”
sexual sentences .
a collection of dirty talk sentences.
soft .
“ I want to lick you all over…”
“ You’re so hot…”
“ ~Keep doing that.”
“ There’s no where else I’d rather be than inside of you right now“
“ Keep spreading, baby ~ I’m gonna fill you up so good…”
“ That feels amazing baby “
“ Tell me what you like ~ “
“ Come sit on my lap, love “
“ Mmm… do you like that? “
“ I’m getting so turned on/wet/hard “
“ You look so handsome right now…“
“ What do you feel like doing to me?”
“ You look so gorgeous right now…”
“ I love how you look at me when you’re turned on…”
“ Tell me if it’s too hard…”
“ Mmm… you taste so good baby. ”
“ ~ Tell me when you’re about to come?”
“ I could spend all day between your legs…”
“ I’m getting close —”
“ You’re so damn gorgeous. “
less soft .
“ I love your big hands all over my ass.”
“ ~ Get on your knees for me?”
“ I love your big hands all over my chest.”
“ I love your small hands all over my cock.”
“ You have such a perfect ass/cock/pussy/body/etc.”
“ I love it when you grab the sheets when you’re about to come. “
“ I love how your breath pauses when I put my mouth on your cock.”
“ Cum in my mouth. I want to taste you. ”
“ I love how your breath pauses when I put my mouth on your pussy.”
“ That’s it ~ Good girl/boy…”
“ You sound so sexy when I’m going down on you “
“ I want you to cum for me/on me/in me”
“ You can have me any way you want me baby “
“ Mmm… I can tell that you’re having fun…”
“ Where do you want to cum? ~”
“ Relax… just lie back and let me make you cum. “
“ Where do you want me to cum?”
“ ~ I love the things you do with your tongue.”
“ Strip for me, honey. Slow. I want to savor every inch of you. “
rough .
“ I want you to cum so hard that I feel your cock pulsing inside of me “
“ Get on your knees ~ ?”
“ I love how big your cock gets when I talk to you like this. “
“ Want to make me scream? I’ll bet you can. “
“ I want to fuck you until I feel that sweet little pussy clenching around my cock “
“ Tell me how much you love it when I fuck you/when you fuck me ”
“ I want to fuck you until I feel that sweet little ass clenching around my cock ”
“ Tell me how badly you want me to fuck you…”
“ Mmm… I fucking love it when you ride me like this…“
“… I own this pretty little pussy/big wet cock ~”¨
“ Get over here, big boy. Show me what you’re packing. “
“ I’m going to lick you and suck you until you come. “
“ Ride me harder !”
“ That pretty little face deserves to get fucked ~”
“ I love it when I can feel you squeeze around me “
“ Use your mouth on me. “
“ You like that, don’t you? You like it when your woman does that to you? “
“ I adore how naughty you are. “
“Oh you naughty, naughty boy/girl/woman/man…”
✧ CRIMSON PEAK SENTENCE PROMPTS !
* A MIXTURE OF CRIMSON PEAK PROMPTS , TRIGGERS MAY APPLY , CHANGE ANY PRONOUNS AS NEEDED .
❝ They take the heat from the sun, and when it deserts them, they die. ❞
❝ They’re dying. ❞
❝ You’re monsters. Both of you! ❞
❝ It’s a world of everything dying and eating each other right beneath our feet. ❞
❝ Surely there’s more to it than that. ❞
❝ Beautiful things are fragile… ❞
❝ At home we have only black moths. ❞
❝ Formidable creatures, to be sure, but they lack beauty. ❞
❝ They thrive on the dark and cold. ❞
❝ What do they feed on? ❞
❝ You’re so… different. ❞
❝ Ghosts are real, that much I know. I’ve seen them all my life… ❞
❝ It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all. ❞
❝ But the horror… The horror was for love. ❞
❝ The things we do for love like this are ugly, mad, full of sweat and regret. ❞
❝ This love burns you and maims you and twists you inside out. ❞
❝ There are things that tie them to a place, very much like they do to us. ❞
❝ Will you still like to know my thoughts? ❞
❝ The aches that you describe with such earnestness, the pain, the loss. ❞
❝ In fact, you only seem to know what other writers tell. ❞
❝ You clearly have not lived it at all. ❞
❝ Where I come from, ghosts are not to be taken lightly. ❞
❝ You are nothing but a SPOILED CHILD! ❞
❝ What do you dream of? A kind man? A pure soul to be redeemed? Perfection? ❞
❝ I advise you to return to your ghosts and fancies. ❞
❝ A house as old as this one becomes, in time, a living thing. ❞
❝ It starts holding onto things… keeping them alive when they shouldn’t be. ❞
❝ Some should never be spoken about again. ❞
❝ You will stay here, with us… won’t you? ❞
❝ A man that feeds off land that others work for him. ❞
❝ This parasite is perfectly charming and a magnificent dancer. ❞
❝ I cannot leave you here. ❞
❝ I find myself thinking about you even at the most inopportune moments of the day. ❞
❝ I feel as if a link exists between your heart and mine. ❞
❝ The first time I saw one I was ten years old. ❞
❝ There were to be no parting kisses. No goodbyes. No last words. ❞
❝ You lied to me! ❞
❝ You poisoned me! ❞
❝ You said you loved me! ❞
❝ I’ve always closed my eyes to things that made me uncomfortable. ❞
❝ I don’t want to close my eyes. I want to keep them open. ❞
❝ It makes everything easier. ❞
❝ I heard you the first time. ❞
❝ It’s an excellent likeness. ❞
❝ The more the house sinks, the worse it gets. ❞
❝ Goodness. How many rooms are there? ❞
❝ We must do something about it. ❞
❝ Others that hold onto an emotion. A drive. Loss. Revenge. Or love. ❞
❝ The spilling of blood. A terrible crime. ❞
❝ I don’t know. Would you like to count them? ❞
❝ Do we have to do this? Must we? ❞
❝ She stopped drinking her tea, but I poisoned the porridge. ❞
❝ That’s exactly what our mother told us in her last moment. ❞
❝ This is your home now. You have nowhere else to go. ❞
❝ Perfection has no place in love, [Name]. ❞
❝ You know precious little of the human heart, or love, or the pain that comes with it. ❞
❝ I can’t. I can’t. ❞
❝ This place is hundreds years old. Souls come and go. ❞
❝ Some of them are good; some of them bad… ❞
❝ You insist on describing the torments of love when you know NOTHING about them. ❞
❝ I’M NOT DONE YET! ❞
❝ How do you manage this house? ❞
❝ Actually, I’d rather be Mary Shelly; she died a widow. ❞
❝ Perfection has no place in love. ❞
❝ Perhaps we only notice things when the time comes for us to see them. ❞
❝ In [Country] we bank on effort, not privilege. ❞
❝ The men at this table, all of us, came up through honest, hard work. ❞
❝ Well, maybe not all of us. [Name] here is a [Occupation]. ❞
❝ If there’s one thing I know, it’s the importance of the right tool for the job. ❞
❝ I’m a builder, dear. ❞
❝ Everyone falls in love, dear, even women. ❞
❝ There are things that tie them to a place. ❞
❝ The marriages were for money, of course. ❞
❝ You need a measure of bitterness… Not to be eaten.. ❞
❝ Nothing gentle ever grows in this land. ❞
❝ My heart would cease to beat and I would die. ❞
❝ I won’t stop… until you kill me… or I kill you! ❞
❝ So it’s all out in the open. No more secrets! ❞
❝ I feel as if a link exists between your heart and mine. And should that link be broken either by distance or by time, then my heart would cease to beat and I would die. ❞
“ I know things will never be the same. ” “ You didn’t have to come. ” “ It’s not much of an apology for killing someone. ” “ Don’t make it sound so noble. ” “ Just can’t believe I have to do this without her. ” “ I know, but I need to be alone. ” “ Just going through my old things. ” “ I don’t know if I can do that. ” “ I thought today… you could be here for me. ” “ You’re either broke or you’re a terrible drunk. ” “ Well, maybe there are some things that neither money nor alcohol can solve. ” “ Can I recommend something a little stronger than Bordeaux? ” “ It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, ______. ” “ Well, that’s a suspiciously warm greeting. ” “ I am no good to anybody right now and I… I just want to get out of this place. ” “ Nothing I have ever done in my entire life has meant anything at all. ” “ How long will you be gone? ” “ For however long it takes. ” “ You had to earn a shot of this. ” “ You really wanna do this today? ” “ Are you just trying to piss me off today or do you want something? ” “ Well, that’s not your decision to make. ” “ How’s your head? ” “ I’ll catch up with you. ” “ I look like a disco ball. ” “ Just wait til you have kids. ” “ We haven’t… exactly had the conversation. ” “ Well, don’t you think you should do that before you walk down the aisle? ” “ Do you know the artist? ” “ The more you drink, the more exceptional the art becomes. ” “ You know, I used to be intimidated by things like this. ” “ You don’t strike me as the shrinking violet type. ” “ Oh I-I could kick your ass. ” “ That’s your serious voice. ” “ It’s not gonna be like that for us. ” “ I can’t give you what you want, _______. You deserve better. ” “ We may be damaged, but we are not doomed to repeat our parent’s mistakes. ” “ Do you really believe that? ” “ Do you think they know how rare that is? ” “ I guess I’ll see you in the next life. ” “ If we’re destined to meet each other in another life, just know… I’ll be waiting for another dance. ” “ Gorgeous, brilliant, and powerful. Remind me to never piss you off. ” “ There’s nothing we can do. ” “ Please don’t. ” “ I have waited for you for years, lived on your terms, set aside what I needed for myself to make you happy! And then you pull this crap? ” “ That’s the “I don’t know what to do” look! ” “ I’m open to spending the rest of my life figuring that out together. ” “ I need you today. ” “ What did you say? ” “ Well, then, I suspect I’m the last person she needs right now. ” “ It never ends. No battle’s ever won here. ” “ No one deserves this more than you. ” “ You’re late. ” “ Well, then, looks like you’re stuck with the both of us. ” “ What happened to your dress? ” “ You helped me more than you could ever know. ” “ The last time we said goodbye, did you ever think that the next time we would meet would be at a wedding? ” “ This has been the best day ever. ” “ Why the sudden change of heart? ” “ I think I’m a little buzzed. ” “ It was like, for five minutes, I forgot… how crappy my life is. ” “ You certainly looked happy. ” “ Did you come in here to make sure that the room was right-side-up or did you want something? ”
Sorry I’ve been absent. Getting life back together after going away. Hopefully I’ll be around this weekend to do stuff :)
“I’m on my way out, are you going to be okay?” Rebekah asked her older brother from the doorway of the study. “It’s okay to not be okay if that’s what you need.” @alluringdxrkness // SC.
“Oh is it? I’m so glad I have your approval if I decide not to feel okay,” Klaus snapped. He huffed as he looked away from Rebekah, running his finger over the rim of his whiskey glass. “Well, I’m not okay, but I’m sure that won’t stop you from enjoying yourself.”
