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“What do you say when you’re not enough to make someone stay? What do you do when you meet the love of your life and realize it’s all about timing? How do you accept that no matter how perfect you are for each other, circumstances get in the way? How do you compete with that kind of fate?”

— Katie Kacvinsky, First Comes Love

11.26.21

“Cause when the city’s bare and cold,

I still remember the first fall of snow,

And how it glistened as it fell,

I remember it all too well.”

on our very first night, a may night in new england- during the strangest year of our lives- it snowed. none of us expected it, it was 50°f earlier that day, it was may. but unexpected as it was, it snowed that night for us. for us to hold each other tighter than we might have without it. for us to watch in awe and excitement as it fluttered and danced to the ground. to reflect off of our eyes in dazzling enchantment. it was Our Snow.

you were my snow. being with you was beautiful and exciting. being with you was pure white, until is became trodden and traveled and turned to a tired tracking slush, whose purpose served to dampen and diminish. being with you was insulating- yet cold. sparkling- yet bleak. and in the end we had to melt down the drains as our individual selves began to shine like the sun and springtime sprung. but i will always envy and admire the fresh fall of snow, and what it could be if left untouched by the world.

tonight is my first snow without you. i expect it’s your first snow with her. hold her tight, but don’t forget how you held me. don’t forget that may night. i cant. tonight i remember Our Snow, and i remember it all too well.