Hayato Suo's real name is Sun Fei, he's also an operative of the Red Chanpuru organization. The boy you love, seems to never existed at all. But if everything about him is a lie... why does his love still feel so painfully real?
"Did you know?"
Sakura's voice cracked, a jagged, raw sound tearing through the quiet playground. There is no usual awkwardness in his expression, no embarrassed scratching at the back of his neck even though he's talking with a girl. Instead his eyes are now burning with something raw— anger tangled with betrayal, confusion, and hurt.
Nirei is standing just behind him, looking pale, clutching his notebook so tightly that the corners bend beneath his fingers.
You blink in confusion.
"...Know what?"
Neither of them answers immediately.
Sakura takes one step closer, his jaw clenched so tightly that the muscles in his face tremble.
"Don't play dumb."
"I'm not."
Nirei swallows before speaking quietly, almost apologetically.
"Hayato-san... isn't who we thought he was."
The words barely register.
Sakura continues before you can respond.
"His real name is Sun Fei."
Your eyebrows knit together.
"What...?"
"He's an operative from the Red Chanpuru organization." Sakura's voice cracks with restrained anger. "Everything about him is fake. His name, his identity... even the reason he came here."
Silence.
"...No."
Your voice comes out barely above a whisper.
Sakura stares at you. He searches your face, looking for the slightest sign of deception.
But there is only disbelief, confusion and a growing emptiness.
"...Damn it." His fists loosen. "I thought... maybe... at least you..."
You give a tiny shake of your head.
"I didn't know."
The words sound hollow now, like someone else speaks them.
Without another sentence, you turn around and walk away.
Neither of them stops you.
The path toward the lake feels longer than it ever has before.
Every familiar tree, every stone beneath your shoes, every breeze that brushes against your skin reminds you of him.
This is where he used to walk with you after class, where he listened to you more than he spoke, where he smiled those impossibly gentle smiles whenever you rambled about something insignificant.
The old tree stands exactly where it always has, its branches swaying lazily above the shimmering water. The lake reflects the evening sky like polished glass.
You stare across the water without truly seeing it. Your fingers unconsciously trace the rough bark beside you.
How many times has he leaned against this tree? How many times has he watched you with those soft amber eyes? How many memories belong to Hayato Suo... and how many belong to someone who never truly existed?
The thought makes your chest ache.
All those moments... whenever someone asked about his family, whenever conversations drifted toward his childhood, he somehow managed to answer without answering anything at all.
You noticed it, but you never pushed, because love isn't supposed to feel like an interrogation.
You wanted him to tell you when he's ready.
You trusted him enough to wait.
Suddenly— Footsteps.
You don't turn around.
"...You're here."
The footsteps stop a few meters behind you.
Silence stretches between you two.
Then—
"...Yes."
His voice is calm, controlled, yet quieter than usual.
You keep looking toward the lake.
"I knew..." Your voice is soft. "...that you were hiding something."
Another silence.
"But I never asked."
The wind stirs through the branches.
"I didn't want to pressure you." Your fingers tighten around a fallen leaf. "I thought..."
A bitter smile curves your lips.
"...if I waited long enough... you'd trust me and tell me yourself."
You laugh again.
Only this time... it hurts.
"...You acted really well." The words come out shaky. "So well... that I completely fell for you."
You lower your head.
"You made me believe... that you've fallen for me too." Your voice cracks. "...Yet..."
You swallow.
"...I didn't even know your real name."
The silence behind you becomes almost unbearable.
"I would've kept every single one of your secrets. I never would have told Sakura. I never would have told Nirei. I never would have told anyone."
Your eyes burn.
"I wouldn't have even cared if Furin turned against me... as long as you loved me."
Slowly, you stand before turning around.
For a moment... you almost don't even recognize him.
The posture, the gaze, the quiet confidence all look heavier than before. The softness that always surrounded Hayato Suo seems buried beneath something colder.
He now looks like someone accustomed to command. Someone dangerous. Someone carrying responsibilities far too heavy for a student.
You remember all those impossible moments.
The way he defeated opponents without getting a scratch. The way experienced fighters instinctively hesitated around him. The way his smile sometimes disappeared for just a fraction of a second... revealing someone frighteningly composed.
You had seen it. But you simply convinced yourself that you were imagining things.
"...Sun Fei."
The name sounds unfamiliar on your tongue.
His eyes flicker.
"...Was everything a lie?"
For the first time... he answers immediately.
"...No."
His voice remains quiet.
"You have nothing to do with my mission." He takes one slow step forward. "...And neither do my feelings for you."
You search his face desperately.
Trying to find Hayato, trying to find the man who laughed quietly whenever you complain, trying to find the boyfriend who remembered your favorite snacks without being asked.
Trying to find him
."...Look at you." Your voice barely shakes. "You look..."
You laugh sadly.
"So different."
His gaze softens.
"...Do I?"
You step closer.
"You used to look... so gentle. So warm. But now... you look like someone everyone fears."
He lowers his eyes briefly.
"...This..." He looks at his own hands. "...is the person I never wanted you to see."
"...Why?"His answer comes after a long silence.
"Because... you fell in love with Hayato." His voice is almost fragile now. "...I didn't want to take him away from you. I knew... if you see Sun Fei... everything between us would change. So I kept pretending."
He smiles, at heartbreakingly small one.
"...Selfishly."
Your eyes fill with tears.
"...You're an idiot."
He blinks.
"...What?"
Your emotions finally burst free.
"I would've loved you the same!"
Your voice echoes across the quiet lake.
"The gentle Hayato, the cold Sun Fei... they're the same person!"
Your tears spill over.
"I didn't fall in love with your name! I fell in love with you! You think changing your clothes, changing the way you stand, using another name... changes the person who used to wait for me after my classes?"
Your breathing becomes uneven.
"The one who used to hold my hand when I couldn't stop crying? The one who remembered every tiny thing about me? It doesn't! I love all those little moments!"
Your voice breaks completely.
"I would've loved every part of you!"
His expression finally cracks.
For the first time since arriving... the composed leader disappears.
His shoulders lower, his eyes closing briefly.
"...That's exactly why..." he whispers. "...I couldn't tell you."
He exhales slowly.
"My world isn't kind. It stains everything it touches. There are people who would use you to reach me. There are people who would smile at you... only because they know it would hurt me when they destroy that smile."
His eyes meet yours again.
"I wanted at least one place where Sun Fei doesn't exist."
His voice becomes painfully quiet."
And that place... was beside you.
"The tears you try so desperately to hold back finally fall freely.
"You should've let me choose. Who told you to decide for both of us?"
Your voice trembles.
"You decided I can't love all of you. You never even gave me the chance."
His lips part, but no words come.
For perhaps the first time in years... Sun Fei doesn't know what to say.
After a long silence, he steps closer until only a small distance remains between you.
"I was afraid." The confession is barely audible. "So afraid that if you meet the real me... you'll look at me with hatred."
You shake your head immediately.
"I've never hated you."
"No," he murmurs sadly. "That's because you didn't know."
He gives a hollow smile.
"I've lied to countless people. I've deceived enemies. I've deceived allies. But every time I lied to you... I hated myself."
He looks at the lake, then back at you.
"I never wanted to hurt you. But I knew this day would come. And when it does..."
He swallows.
"I knew I would deserve every bit of your anger."
You look at him for a long moment, seeing both faces at once now— the gentle Hayato Suo you fall in love with and the guarded Sun Fei who carries his burdens alone.
They are never truly separate.
One simply hides the other.
"I don't know if I can forgive you today," you whisper.
His eyes soften, though pain still lingers within them.
"I know."
"I don't know how long it'll take."
"I know."
"I don't even know what happens to us now."
Another small, bittersweet smile touches his lips.
"...Neither do I."
The evening breeze ripples across the lake, carrying away the last warmth of the day.
You stand beneath the old tree where so many happy memories begin— and where this painful truth is finally spoken aloud.
For the first time since you met him, there are no masks left between you.
Only two people, standing in the fading light, loving each other enough to hurt— and hoping that, somehow, love is still enough to find each other again.
☆ In which: As you find yourself on a train from your hometown, you start writing an apology to a boy who has yet to give you your heart back
☆ contains: gn!reader, songwriter!reader, arguments, grammar? Haha what’s that
☆ A/N: HiHi! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ first of all, I’m sorry this is a so late! I’ve been dealing with alot of health concerns that have been popping up and that have made sitting down and writing quite difficult. My family also decided to surprise visit me so I didn’t have enough time to write anyways. This fic is inspired by Akasaki’s song ‘Sorry for singing,’ and I recommend you all listen to it!!! [ maybe not while you read this but maybe after? ] akasaki is one of my favourite artist and I recommend him to anyone and everyone. Anyways I love you all sm and Happy reading! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ ♡
Series Masterlist: Heavy Serenade
wc: 4,980 words
The train’s quiet hum is all that fills your mind as you lean against the window. The scenary of your hometown passing you by in a blur as the train only speeds away. It’s speeding without a care for how much you want to run back. How much you need to go back.
Your head rests against the plush cushion of the train seat. The seats besides you are all empty. Most others sitting with friends or family. The only thing you have to console you is music.
A sample of a song you have been working on in your time at Kamakura, plays through your headphones. The familiar beat and melody of the music makes you hum. Besides you lay an open note book. One to write lyrics in.
The page that it is open to is blank. A clean white sheet of paper. It taunts you. It begs you to think of silly little love songs that you’ll one day perform. Yet, you can’t think of love right now.
Or rather - you can’t verbalize your love.
A dull ache remains in your heart as you look outside the window. A clutch on your heart so strong you need to write something. Yet what do you write? How do you write about something that occurs so often it becomes your new normal?
It’s an ache that you’ve always turned into hopeful wishes. Long far fetched fantasies between you and the boy who hold your heart in his hands. Stories about how he’d look at your with his brilliant green eyes and kiss you. Tales that are the basis to your songs.
Your lips part as you stare at the blue seat in front of you. For, no silly thoughts even attempt to appear in your mind. Your fist clenches around your pen as you sigh. All you can do is remember.
You should’ve expected this. After all you’ve spent the last few weeks running around your old neighbour hood like a kid again. Yet, you aren’t expecting to be haunted by a single memory over and over again. A single stupid memory.
You shake your head. You don’t want to constantly think about the past and your mistakes and past relations. Yet, you can’t not. How can you when everything reminds you of him?
You put down the pink pen that you hold in your hand. It certainly isn’t helping your case that your pen is the same colour of his hair. His gorgeous magenta hair. You can still envision it now.
Stop it. You told yourself you wouldn’t think of him. You can’t continue thinking of him. You’re on your way to university. To your new life overseas. You swear to yourself now; that you’ll leave all your past mistakes back with your hometown.
You look outside your window. You’ve give up on the notion on thinking about a new song. Perhaps what you need is inspiration. Inspiration that may strike in the world outside.
Yet, all you notice is the speed of the train. People passing into a blur. You’d never imagine going this fast as a little kid. The fastest you ever thought you could go was how fast you were that faithful night.
That night, the two of you were running. Strong winds pushing against your hair as you both shouted at each other to keep going. The buildings - still illuminated at this late hour - blurred past as you both ran. Your laughter contagious.
Your eyes were still red from crying. Your voice slightly hoarse. Yet neither of you two cared. All you needed to do was run.
That night was cool. The cold wind making your shiver as you both ran against the coast. Yet, neither of you were wearing thick jackets. Rather you were in a random shirt and pants and he was in his pyjamas.
Amidst the chilling night, there was one source of warmth. His hand. His soft warm hand that slipped into yours as you both slowed into a walk. A hand that squeezed yours.
“You’re so slow,” Sae comments as he punches your arm. A small smirk appearing on his face as he jerks his head at you. “So tepid,”
You roll your eyes in response. The loud crashes of the wave obscured the way you both laughed. Your footsteps slowly falling back into the rhythm of each other. A beat both of you were familiar with.
Your hand squeezes his as you both walk on the path by the beach. On his left were the occasional cars or traffic. Perhaps you both would pass a drunk salaryman. But - other than that - you two were alone.
Silence falls over you both. A quiet peace between the both of you as words neither of you want to say fall over each other. The echoes of your cries were washed away. Neither of you could hardly remember the video call you both had shared.
For that video call was one of many. One of the many were you cried to him about regret, not understanding the present, not knowing where to go next. One of many where he listened. It was one of many video calls that ended with you both meeting up and running around Kamakura till both of you were too tired to keep going.
“Hey let’s go there,” Sae pointed towards a brightly illuminated store. With large signs and an icon colour palette. A convenience store.
You nod your head as his hand tugs you towards the store. Quick padding of your feet echos. Short bickering and conversations ensue between you both as your arms end linked around each other. A smile wide on your face.
The bright lights of the store momentarily blind you both as you walked in. You mindlessly follow Sae as he drags you towards the freezers. He tugged your hand tight. Your eyes finally adjusting to the light.
Sae pushed a cold plastics into your hand. The sudden shocking you. Your hand shivers slightly as you turned the ice popsicle in your hand. You stare at the bright white lettering.
“I always lose with these popsicles,” Sae mentions as you both look for the winning popsicle. His hand still lingering in yours. “I think it’s rigged,”
You rolled your eyes at his comment as you lightly shoved him. He shook his head; picking up a new packet. His lips pursed as he debated the success of this stick. You offered him a new packet as he took both in his hands.
“Rin would love these,” his voice trailed off at the mention of his younger brother. His eyes softened. A small smile evident on his face.
“Oh speaking of rin,” you began; looking for your own popsicle. “Why isn’t he with us? Didn’t he complain last time that you kept leaving without him?”
“Oh I’m grounded,” Sae said blatantly. He shrugged as you both walk towards the cash register. “Rin broke his toys again and I took the blame so now I’m meant to be ‘isolated in my room’ while Rin sleeps with my parents,”
Your mouth was left in an o-shape as you both move to pay. Sae was always like that. He’s always take the blame and deal with the consequences later. He says he understands Rin and doesn’t want him to be in trouble.
It always baffled you.
Even now, as your readjust yourself in your chair. You never really understood why Sae would do any of that. Why suffer for the sake of others? It’s something that makes your lips purse in confusion.
Your eyes flicker to roof as a robotic voice speaks. Announcing the need to changes lines. You mouth dries as you lean your head back. Lips press together.
The blank pages taunt you. A reminder of what you set out to do. Yet, the snap of the book reminds you of what is yet to be written. You watch as the cover of the notebook slips into your bag.
You gaze outside, the scenery feeling faintly familiar. Structures and buildings close enough to your hometown is all you see as you get ready to disembark. Your fingers curl around your baggage as the train slows a stop. The once blurry scenery now clear.
Your push yourself from your seat. You queue behind unfamiliar faces to get off the train. Chatter surrounding you as you land on the platform. Your eyes searching for directions.
A vague arrow along with a sign to your next platform is what got you moving once more. You pass by twist and turns; trying to keep your eye on the direction ahead. Yet, floors are soon covered with feet and your motions controlled by the shove of other people. Your chest tightening at the onslaught.
You want to go back. Back to the solitude of the train. Back to the quiet station. Back to your room. Yet, here you are. Your back pressing against at least four other strangers as you try to find the white sign.
You push through the crowd. Seeing a vaguely similar number. The loud chatter and rolls of a train have you running through the station. A familiar automated voice speaking over head.
Your suitcase rolls against the ground as your stumble onto a new platform. Your hand curling it. The absence of a train worries you slightly as you take a step back. You watch as other trains pass by, yet none of them are right to get on. Your lips press together.
Before they part in realization.
You take a step. Your chest tightens. Your eyes widening. You check your ticket once more. Curses leaving your lips. Your feet pushing against the ground as you go back into the station.
You pant as questions circle your mind. How could this happen? You had already prepared the route in your head last night? Didn’t you follow the sign?
That stupid villainous sign. It continuous to hang overhead as it points aimlessly ahead. It gives the illusion of a helping hand. Yet, here you are – stranded.
You push through crowds of people who push against you. They try dragging you forwards once more, yet you weave past them. You’re trying to avoid a repeat. Another mistake. Another memory to regret.
But, you aren’t very good at that.
For as you feet finally land on your platform - you watch as the end of the train leaves your vision. A strong blow of wind pushing your hair to the side. You take a step back. Your hands releasing their tight grip on the luggage.
You almost want to laugh. Of course this would happen. You parents had warned you; saying you’d mess up somehow when living abroad. Little did they know you’d get lost before even arriving to the airport.
The roll of your suitcase feels dejected as you move to stand by the side. You watch as clocks tick by. Your hands fiddling with each other. Your mouth dries up as you try to figure out what to do next.
You look down at your watch. You aren’t going to miss you flight. You might be cutting it close for time - but it’s doable.
A small smile breaks onto your face. If you’d never met him, you’d be late by now. If you’d never met him, you’d be crying to your parents to come pick you up. If you’d never met Sae, you wouldn’t have the luxury of sitting down and opening up your book.
Your eyes gaze over precious lyrics you’ve written. Your shoulders relax as you stumble upon one song. One song that still makes you smile. One that makes you feel like a dumb middle school kid again.
The song in question was a present.
Your hands were antsy. You tried to calm your breathing - yet to know avail. You grip your phone in your hand as you watch Sae bid his goodbyes to his parents.
He was glowing. His smile was almost contagious. His green eyes shone as he joked with his brother. His head leaned against his younger brother shoulder as he pulled him in tight.
He had the time to spare. Sae always tried to get to the airport early - just to prepare. Yet, this time, the clock seemed to be pushing a bit faster. For before long there was only a few minutes left.
Your fingers clenched harder around your phone. Your heart pounding against your chest. Your mouth feels dry. It’s all too unfamiliar to you.
The sight of Sae walking towards felt unfamiliar. The roll of his own luggage felt unfamiliar. The way his smile wavered as he stands before you was unfamiliar. Your heart almost leapt out as he clears his throat.
“Hey,” he said simply. You almost started crying. His voice was unusually calm as he greeted you again.
“You better buy me something when you come back,” you tell him, your voice wavering. His smile slowly leaving his face. “Buy the most expensive thing you can find in Madrid”
He rolls his eyes. He punches your arm slightly; with a bit more force than both of you were used to. Then again, everything felt a bit more painful than you two were used to.
“Yeah and by the time I’m back I’m expecting a golden crown,” silence falls over the both of you. There was too much that wanted to be said. Too much that needed to be said. Yet, you both were worried that once those words were uttered it would be goodbye.
It’s stupid. He wasn’t dying. He was just moving away - to the other side of the world. He’d be back soon enough. To visit his home. To visit family. To visit you.
“You promised you wouldn’t cry,” he whispered out. Low enough only for you two to hear. “If you cry, then I’ll cry and I don’t want Rin to see me crying,”
You laugh as you blink away the forming tears. Your shoulders relaxing as you take a final look at Sae. The way his bangs nearly touch his eyes. The way his eyes shined as he mentions Rin. The way his hands clasp around his luggage worriedly. It was too familiar.
Before you knew it, his arms wrapped around your back. His face pressed against your shoulder. His hair brushing against your neck. You lean back against him as you held him close.
The warmth from his body pressed against you. His breathing slowed down as his heartbeat only got louder. Your hands gripping his shirt even more. Before his arms loosen around you.
You wished you held on a little tighter. You wished you pulled him closer. You wished that you didn’t let him go. But, you did.
He had a future waiting for him. A future that involved you both living across the planet from each other. Neither of you particularly liked it. But, as his mom informed you both that he had to go, you had no choice but to let go from the hug.
You stared as he turned his back to you. You stood beside Rin. The little boy who stood closer to you than needed. Your hands squeezing the phone in your hand.
You had nearly forgotten. You unlocked your phone and sent a single file to Sae. A single audio recording. A single song.
“Sae!” you called out just before he left your vision. He turned to see you pointing at your phone. In response he checked his own device and saw a notification come through.
He flashed a smile at you before waving off once more. His teeth flashing at you as he turns around. His tuff of pink hair being the last thing you saw. The last thing you saw before your first love left you.
The song you gave him was a love song. The first of the many you’ll find yourself writing. Yet, this song described little moments. Every hand hold, every shared laugh, every shared moment together.
You find yourself chuckling as you reread the lyrics. They’re corny. Yet, you remember spending hours recording each instrument until it sounds just like how chaotic your heart felt when you saw him. You press your lips together as you slowly close the book.
You stand up from your squat on the ground before evaluating your situation. Your legs ache. Your eyes readjusting to unfocus from the notebook. The light chatter of people wake you up from your daze.
Your fingers curling around your suitcase as wind pushes your hair. The rush of the train makes you look up. Before long you are faced with the sleek train.
You take a step onto the fairly empty train. You sit down on the plush chairs. Your head resting against the headrest of the chair. It’s familiar.
You pull out your notebook once more. The same pink pen in your hand as more people file into the train. But, instead of staring at a blank page, you turn to your past songs. Past melodies and lyrics.
The cool air from the air conditioning hits your face as you flick through various songs. You quietly remember the different genre each song tried to emulate. The different proses. The different symbolism. Yet, everything goes back to the same boy.
Sae.
You almost want to laugh. Most of your memories don’t even have him in them. If anything you spent more time with his younger brother. Yet, he has always been a presence in your mind.
Maybe it was the way he smiled at you. The way his hugs always last a bit longer than you’d like. The way he let himself got in trouble constantly. Maybe it’s due to his rebellious nature.
Yet, the boy that stole your heart at 14, still holds it tightly in his arms.
You sigh. Your head thumping against the back of the chair. You close your eyes as that dumb automatic voice announces the departure of the train.
You can imagine people saying goodbye to their homes. They’re bidding their childhoods goodbye. They’re leaving all they’ve ever known. You are too after all.
However, instead of sadness, all you feel is the need to squeeze your pen harder. You bite your tongue. You almost want to throw your notebook out the window. However, you instead settle for slipping it back into your bag.
You hear the familiar zipper. You sigh as you stare at the mess of your bag. However - you can bring to the self to sort it out. Instead you push aside a few items to make space. You push aside chargers, a pencil case and finally a scarf.
A scarf. You look at the fabric in your hand. Your eyes lingering on it. You pull it out of your bag and lay it on your lap. The fabric feeling as soft as it did then. What were you thinking when you packed this?
Is it cold in Madrid?
That’s what you thought back then too. As you held the scarf in your hands. It was a pale teal. With little hearts littering the design.
You were sitting on the edge of your bed as your feet swung back and forth. Your phone felt unusually heavy in your hands as the buzzing of your phone ring echoed in your room. A yawn left your lips. You leaned against your bed frame.
Your parents weren’t home. They were out at some work party you couldn’t bring yourself to care about. What you did care was the fact you’d have the house to yourself. A space for you to make noise. A space for you to stay up.
A space for you to call your boyfriend.
Due to time differences and his insane schedule, calls had become stories of the past. You could barely recall his voice. However, this was your chance. You chance to talk to him again. Your chance to reconnect. Maybe, this could be your chance to apologize.
You held the scarf closer to you as your phone continues to buzz. You squeezed the fabric in your hands. Maybe you should’ve waited? Perhaps it would’ve been smarter to wait for a text back before calling him.
Your finger lingered over the red button. The reflection of the light glowed against your thumb. You had let the phone ring out a bit longer. Your heart pounded against your chest; disappointment creeped into your mind once more.
“Sorry”
Your eyes flickered to the screen as his voice echoed out instead. The faint chatter in a foreign language disappeared as the slam of the door was heard. You heard him sigh. Before the request for a video call appeared on your screen.
He looked tired. That’s all you could think of as you were presented with his face. His skin shone from the sweat that reflected of it. His bangs were slicked back. His teal green eyes soften as you slowly entered his vision.
“What is it?” He asks. His voice hurried and deeper than you last recalled. Your response died on your throat as he tilted his head towards his wrist. “I don’t have much time I need to go back to training,”
“Oh,” that was the only sound that left your lips as he looked back at you. His eyebags more prominent as he turned his head. His eyes brows scrunched up as he waited for you to continue.
“Well, I wrote a new song and released it today an-“
Your words died as he sighed. His eyes looked over the screen, not daring to meet yours. His lips pale as he pressed them together. He shook his head.
“Another tepid song?” He asked. He wasn’t even trying to pretend he wasn’t annoyed. “Another song about you praising me and making up lukewarm lies? Don’t you have better things to write about?”
“I’m n-“
“I swear it’s the same song over and over again,” his voice got louder now. He looked at you as he shook his head. “You talk about how I changed your life or some stupid fairytale story. Grow up”
“What are you trying t-“
“Just shut up will you?” His voice was monotoned now. His teal eyes were dull. He sighs as he repeats the script he had been telling you for the past few days.
You honestly can’t remember when this argument started. You had finally released an album you’d been working on. You didn’t mean to write about him. You just did.
However, a few texts and voice messages later, he was almost at your throat. Insults about your lyrics. Accusations thrown at you. Moments of silences that felt louder than your songs themselves.
Silences that mimicked the one that had consumed you both. He sighed once more as you finally shut up. His hold on his phone shaky as neither of you spoke a word. The silence that had consumed you was one Sae despised.
“Who are you even singing about?” His question lingered. The answer seemed obvious to you - him of course. But, he continued before you could respond. “The boy who saved your life? The boy who made the game fun? When have I ever saved your dumb life?”
“Every day Sae,” you tried to reason. Your voice cracking as you talk. Yet, how were you meant to reason with a deaf man?
“You’re so stupid,” he insults you once more. Despite the frequency of these words, the feel your heart tighten with each one. “I don’t know who the hell you’re talking about but it’s stupid that you focus your life on them and not a h-“
“I’m writing about you Sae”
He lifts his eyebrow at you as he listens to the change in your tone. Your brush your hand over your hair as you look at him through the digital screen. Your throat hoarse. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to lower your volume.
“I’m writing about you Sae, can’t you see that?” Your vojce cracks. Your heart pounding in your ears. “You made everything easier Sae, who else would I be writing about? Of course I’d writing about you, you’re what I look forward to everyday. I write about you because I remember you in everything I do. I love yo-“
“Then forget me,”
The words lingered as he rolled his eyes. It’s as though what he said was the logical next step. Forget him. He made it sound like it was obvious.
“If you write about ‘me’ because you remember me, then just forget me,” he says flatly. He shrugs as you’re sit there staring at the screen. Your mouth parting as the words repeat in your mind.
However, he took your silence as a sign to leave. Your eyes blurred as the final flash of his annoyed face left your vision. The sight before you being replaced with your messages. Your chest tightens as you type out a message. A plead. A beg. Anything.
Yet, the messages doesn’t go through. No matter how many you send. You try calling him to no avail. A sob got stuck in your throat as nothing worked.
Your legs curled up into yourself as you let your body shake. Your held yourself tight as the room started to feel larger than before. Your hand grasp each other as no one was around to hold them for you. The tears that fell next were expected.
Your face turned damp as you let yourself cry. You laid your body down as you tried to forget him - try to do him one last favour. But all that replayed in your mind was his tired eyes. His exhausted tired eyes. Eyes that could barely meet yours as he said those three cruel words to you.
Now, as you look back on that event, all you feel is pity. Pity for your past self thinking they could overcome challenges you still face. Pity for your 17 year old self for thinking you could forget him. Pity for yourself, since you never got to give him the scarf that sits in your hands.
The blur of the world outside the train goes ignored as you lay the scarf on your lap. You reopen your notebook; flipping to the closest new page. Your hold on your pen tightens. A small smile appearing on your face.
It’s been a year. A year since you last called him. Yet, you could never keep your promise. Every song written after that call turned into yearning, begging, pleading for him.
You couldn’t forget him.
Yet, it’s been a year. You’re finally an adult now. You’re a few hours away from stepping foot in a foreign country alone. You’re growing up.
So, perhaps it’s time to let go off him. Let go off your silly high school lover. To finally be able to acknowledge him as a distance past mistake. To forget him.
You promise yourself, that this will be your final song to him. Your final call. One last message you hope he receives before you find something new in your life. A final song to end this chapter of your life.
The melody flows as you begin writing lyrics. Your feet tapping the beat of the song as you write notes. Your cross out words before replacing them with rhyming tunes. Your lips part as your stare at the completed verse before you.
The slow rumble of the train slowly disappear from your hearing. You barely feel the lack of warmth from the other chairs. The familiar Japanese scenery outside blurs as you continue to move on. For the only thing you are looking at now is the words before you.
You barely realize you had come to your stop until the familiar automated voice announces it. You hold the scarf and book in your hands as you leave the train. Your footsteps echoing as you arrive at the airport.
People around you seem filled with regret. Either the longing to stay on vacation for longer, or the want to stay home for a few more minutes. However, you can’t bring yourself to feel the same way. Instead, all you can think about is your new song.
The premise of the song is simple. It’s a summary of your love. A retelling of the life you had to live with. A confession of your mistakes and foolish decision.
But, most of all, it’s an apology.
An apology for not squeezing his hand tighter on your late night walks. An apology for not holding him closer. But most of all, an apology for not being there for him.
He was scared wasn’t he? Scared to be alone in a different country. Scared he wasn’t what the press had written about him. Scared he wasn’t what you had written about him.
You doubt he wanted to break you heart. He just wanted you to stop. Stop creating a boy he thought didn’t exist anymore. You’re sorry that you continued to.
Your shoulders seem to relax as you walk towards the check in. Your steps falling into beat. You’re willing to let go off all your regrets now as you identify the entrance. Finally ready to forget him.
That’s why, when you get a look at a familiar tuff of pink hair, you walk away. Your heart doesn’t even ache when you realize who you saw. All you do is walk away and join the queue.
For, you’ve grown haven’t you? You’ve grown enough to walk away from him, from your past, from everything that kept you grounded. You’ve grown enough to stand tall alone. You’ve grown enough to be able to apologize. If Sae could hear your thoughts; you’re sorry.
You’re sorry for loving him when he didn’t want to be loved at all.
I had so much fun drawing this peice. There’s so many little Easter eggs!!! Such as the cloth she is laying on is Senku’s cape, her eye has a reflection of Senku and yeah! I don’t usually draw in this style so it’s quite fun being able to experiment with different ways of drawing familiar faces. Anyways I know most of you are really here for the silly sketches I drew with my foot so here you go!
michael kaiser whose screentime increases astronomically after discovering pinterest for the first time.
tooth-rotting fluff, silly misunderstandings, technologically inept kaiser, kaiser being a cute little kitten for 2.2k words (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ).
There's something strange going on with Kaiser.
You can't exactly put a finger on it, on the leading cause behind his odd behaviour, but you're absolutely certain about it— that he's keeping some kind of dodgy secret from you.
For one, he's been waking up later and less groggier than usual.
Well, granted, he's always waking up late, but it's the latter that really spikes your interest. Normally, whenever the man woke up to red rimmed and sunken eyes, a gaunt complexion and bed hair that looked like it's been dragged through the jungle and back, he's never failed to be in a foul fucking mood.
And thus, the lack of it, of his bitchiness, was raising some questions…
But more than that, however, he's even been spending more time on the toilet!
Again, something that isn't new to you considering how he's always had a bad history with constipation, but still!
Isn't someone dealing with the discomfort of constipation supposed to at least throw a fit in their bout of frustration?!
But— but that hasn't been the case at all!
If anything, he's been so much calmer.
Calmer!
Him, Michael Kaiser, the man whose fury rivalled that of Zeus himself being calm?!
Outrageous, right?!
You just couldn't wrap your head around it no matter how hard you tried to.
What the hell is it that's been putting him in such a jolly good mood?
It surely wasn't your ass responsible for this, you haven't been doing anything different with him as far as you can remember, and if it wasn't you…
If it wasn't you, then, who was it…?
"…."
God, it almost feels like you're going insane, drawing vivid conclusions without consulting him first, but were you really to blame here?
The evidence was basically all there, staring at you right in the goddamn face!
How lately, he's always wearing his blue light glasses around the house and how he's constantly hogging the charger for himself, as if recurrently in front of a screen, perhaps, texting some random chick behind your back…!
Your baseless thoughts were practically confirmed as well, when you'd tried to take sneak a quick peek at his phone during one of his ridiculously long shitting sessions, only to find that he'd taken his phone with him to the bathroom.
To the bathroom!!
Sure, most people had their phone accompany them to cure their boredom while they took shit, but in your case, everything was starting to add up!
It was just so blatantly obvious, and you'd only be a foolish moron to deny it further, to deny what he was trying so desperately hard to hide from you.
"Hey." His voice, dry and relaxed, snaps you out of your spiralling thoughts, pulling you back to reality by the taut thread your sanity was clinging to. "I'll be back later, yeah?"
You don't grace him with a verbal response, barely guarding him with a stare of acknowledgement as he stands across from you by the apartment door, waiting for your usual farewells and wishes of safe returns.
"[Name]?"
Kaiser sounds uncertain as he addresses you, and you're not sure what spurs your destructive curiosity, whether it's that last bit of confirmation you need before confronting him, or some innate desperation that blooms after hearing the slight waver in his tone, but you seek it out for yourself.
"Can I— uh, can I check your phone..?"
The silence that ensues has your pulse falter and your heart flatline.
You're positively sure your nervous system's shutting down too, the dread from the sudden stillness entirely to blame for the way your stomach lurches to your congesting throat. There's even a tremble in your hands as you press them close to your side, hoping to contain the fear that overwhelms you.
If he refuses, then he's definitely hiding something… If he doesn't want me seeing his phone, then he's definitely—
"Sure."
"Huh?"
The noise of your confusion is almost comical as you raise your head with alarm, your earlier fright seemingly for nothing when the sight of his phone greets you teasingly.
"My phone?" He tilts his head jadedly, not at all bothered by what any normal person would be bothered by.
"…uh, thanks." You take it from him with mild hesitation, fingers briefly brushing against his warmer ones during the exchange.
What the hell? He just gave it to me? No questions asked…? No! He just wants me to think that way! This calculating bastard's probably deleted all the evidence!
You huff mockingly, guarding him with a glare of growing suspicion, something he doesn't pay attention to, not when he's too busy yawning away the fatigue from his lack of sleep doing God knows what at the heinous hour of dawn.
The phone almost feels like a ticking time bomb in your hands, and with perhaps it is, considering how you were about to find some real sketchy shit on it. And a moment passes as you calm your haywire nerves with quiet breaths, then, you're switching his phone on, gulping cautiously as the screen lit up with a… horribly pixelated image of a puddle?
Huh?
Your puzzlement barely lasts a second, not when the phone just unlocks by itself, without you having to input a code or anything into it.
"…."
This- this idiot doesn't have a password on his phone?!
"You… you don't have a password on your phone..?" The utter disbelief in your tone goes ignored by the athlete.
He only blinks at you owlishly, brow raising with genuine confusion. "Do I need one?"
"I mean," you exhale deeply, pinching the bridge of your nose with unbridled bewilderment, questioning how nobody's tried to steal his phone yet, "most people have one…"
"Oh," Kaiser hums deeply, like he's considering your words for a brief minute before shrugging them off carelessly. "It's not like there's anything important on it."
I'll see that for myself, alright!? Hmph! Only people with things to hide say stuff like that…
You glance at him dubiously, before your gaze falls back on his unlocked phone with beguiled intent, your brows furrowing in thought as you internally debated your options.
I'd like to see his messages… but maybe it's better if I just check his screen time instead..?
And you do just that, your fingers move with the expertise of a veteran, pulling up his settings app to check his screen time, a stat that greets you in its full glory.
Twelve- TWELVE FUCKING HOURS ON WEB BROWSER??? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING ON IT FOR SO LONG???!!
Your eyes near bulge out of their sockets at the number, before you rub at them furiously, hoping the comical endeavour clears your vision of the bullshit you're hallucinating. But instead of it reducing to a more appropriate number like you'd quietly expected, the absurd double digits remain, large and mocking as they stare back at you with mirth.
"Oi- oi…!" Your finger trembles against yourself as you point to the screen accusingly, tapping on it frantically to get his attention. "Explain!"
"Oh." He offers no further explanation, only scratching his head in response, none the wiser to your skyrocketing concerns. "Uh, well, I found this website and can't seem to get off it."
"Website!?" You repeat, your mind flying a mile a minute as he nods noncommittally, a gesture that has dread pool in your stomach.
A website??? And he can't get off it?? Oh my God- don't tell me, it's—
"P-porn hub?!"
"Pinterest."
"Huh."
"What."
"…."
The silence is unbearably loud, and you nearly shit yourself when he guards you with a look of mild offence, clearly felling very insulted by your baseless accusation.
"What did you just say?" His brow arches as he guards you with disbelief, looking one minute away from decking the life out of you.
"….Haha! P-pinterest!" You try to collect yourself, hoping he drops the subject before you explode into a pile of mush from humiliation. "Pinterest, huh?"
"…yeah." Kaiser eventually gets the hint and lets the topic go, giving up on trying to figure out whatever bullshit of a misunderstanding you ended up conjuring with your vivid imagination — a trait he was rather fond of.
You can only grin with relief when he doesn't inquire further about your ridiculous thoughts, though the relief is only momentary, for the reminder of his screentime resurfaces, urging you to investigate further. "But what about your screentime?! Why the hell is it at twelve fucking hours?!"
"Well, they have lots of pretty pictures," he admits quietly, fiddling with the ends of his bangs as he tried explaining his reasoning behind that absurd screentime. "It takes me a while to decide which to have as my wallpaper."
"Wallpaper?" You perk up, that explained his odd wallpaper you couldn't help cringe at earlier, it was so badly grainy and blurry, you thought you'd end up suffering an aneurysm.
"Yeah, look." He says, taking the phone from you while keeping it in your line of sight as he pressed on the screen a couple of times to open the website.
"If I click on this pretty picture, I can screenshot it and have it as my wallpaper." He talks you through each step, following along with them as he presents to you the abomination of a pixilated wallpaper he foolishly thought was pretty. "Helps calm me down when I look at it after some idiot's pissed me off."
Kaiser throws you a smug grin, feeling prideful for finally being able to teach you something 'techy' when it was usually him being the technologically inept boomer. You have to resist the disrespectful urge to scoff in his face when he keeps glancing at you with a puppy-ish glint in his eyes, searching for you approval and compliments.
"That's not… sigh, that's not how you use pinterest." You nearly roll your eyes with distaste, snatching the phone away from him to show him how it's really done. "You have to download the app first."
"There's- there's an app…?" He looks distraught at your comment, complexion comically paling with horror as the earlier aura of cockiness surrounding him wilted in an instant at your bluntness.
"Yes, and you can just download the images while keeping its resolution instead of taking screenshots."
"Huh?" The boy guy doesn't follow, his spinning expression a telling sign of his growing confusion.
You can only sigh while shaking your head, it looked like he had a lot to learn, and given how he was already running late to practice, a few more minutes spent on teaching him how to use the software wouldn't hurt.
"Sit down," you fall to the ground with a huff, tapping the space beside you for him to follow along, something he does immediately and with no complaints. "I'll teach you."
And that's exactly how your crash course on 'Beginners Tutorial For Using Pinterest Like a Pro, No Glue, No Borax' shortly began. You taught him how to navigate around the app, how to make boards and how to pin certain posts into those categorised boards, while also teaching him the correct way to download images instead of whatever abomination he thought was right.
"It looks prettier…" Kaiser admits reluctantly, eyes bright with awe as he admired the resolution of his new wallpaper, something he always struggled to achieve with his pathetic screenshots.
"Right?" It's your turn to be smug now as you guard him with a humoured grin, finding immense delight in his quiet joy.
"Yeah." He nods softly, the tufts of his hair bouncing along in agreement, a sight that has your heart clench.
You stare at him for a little while longer, quietly endeared by his boyish wonder, before pulling your own phone out and holding it up proudly in his line of sight. "But not as pretty as my wallpaper!"
"Hm?" Kaiser looks up with mild curiosity, pretty blue eyes landing on the way your screen lit up with an image of himself. "It's me…"
"Yep!" You cheer, before tapping on the screen relentlessly, the lockscreen changing to different candid pictures of him that you must've taken when he was too busy to notice.
"…oh." He offers no further response, or rather, he's unable to even think of one, the flush on the tip of his nose a telling sign of his quaint shyness.
There's silence following your quiet show of affection, filled with warmth and tenderness, a moment that lasts for a short while, until it's later disturbed by Kaiser who finally gains his senses.
His gaze is fixed intently on his phone, tapping away at it with the concentration of a scholar and the speed of a grandma, before he shoves it right in your face with a prideful huff.
You squint, pulling back and gently taking the device from him to see what he desperately wants to show you. It's his wallpaper, but instead of it being an image of the aesthetic puddle you helped him find earlier on pinterest, it was a selfie of the two of you. One you'd absentmindedly taken during one of your many trips to the library down the neighbourhood.
It was a horrible composition, zoomed in awkwardly on your face and blurry to boot, but… but it was sort of cute… if you were as blind as a bat and grew up around dis-formed behemoths.
"Mine's…" He starts off competitively, head turning away from you with growing embarrassment as his voice cracked ungainly, "…prettier."
"…."
Ah, to think this easily flustered guy was the same guy you'd thought as unfaithful…
the thought of my angel listening to audio books as he scrolls on pinterest 🥹🥹
anyway i told two close friends that kaiser likes to have pretty wallpapers bc it helps calm him down, one of them said "omg he has a pic of ur face on it" 🥹🥹🥹✌️, and the other said he needs therapy 😡😡😡. now which of the two do you think has been subject to my kaiser rants for longer?
Hi, do you you accept requests for Wind Breaker? How would Suo, Hajime, Togame and maybe Endo (and anyone else you'd like) react if they were sent a video of their girlfriend being bullied? She tried to hide her problems because she didn't want to be intrusive, and the time they spent together already gave her strength. I hope I've explained it understanable. Thanks if you try it :-) (Yes, english ist not my first language...)
hihi!! ヾ(＾ ∇ ＾).
I apologize but this was sent after my requests were closed. However due to an overlap with a similar request, I was able to include some element of these request into that fic! I ended up writing for Suo and Hajime!
Hello!! Could I request some windbreaker boys (Suo, Umemiya, Sakura, and Sugishita if you don’t mind, but honestly I love all of the characters so remove, change, or add characters as you wish) reacting to a s/o whos been mildly bullied for a while? She’s never brought it up or anything, nor stood up for herself as she just thinks it takes too much energy? If this makes you uncomfy, of course feel free to ignore :)
That Classmate || Wbk boys x reader
☆ In which: In which you’ve been a subject of bullying for as long as you could remember. You’ve never brought it up. Never stood up to them. So how do your boyfriends react when they find out? [ Sakura, Umemiya, Suo, Sugishita, Natori, Kiryu ]
☆ contains: f!reader, pre established relationship, blood, assault, bullying, harassment, filming of said bullying, injuries, manipulation, gaslighting, petnames [ please let me know if I missed anything! ]
☆ A/N: HiHi! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ First of all I am so sorry that this took so long to write (◞‸◟,), this was such a fun request to write! I so apologize but due to the nature of this request I ended up combining it with a very similar request and I added two extra characters due to a suggestion. If you really don’t like how Suo and Umemiya’s are written I can rewrite them since those are the ones I combined with another a request. Anyways I love you all sm and Happy reading! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ ♡
wc: 888 - 1,749 words
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Sakura.H
» Sakura honestly wants to cry when he found out
» He hates the idea of you being hurt, he hates the idea of you enduring what he had to, he just hates it.
» But what he hates more is when you don’t tell him
» He hates the idea of you having to deal with it alone even if it’s because you just don’t have the energy to
» He honestly just loves you so much and will go to the ends of the world to protect you
𐔌՞ 1,148 words ՞𐦯
The sound of the hair dryer is all you could hear. The whirling of the machine as it moves from left to right. Your thoughts seem to disappear as you focus on the buzzing sounds. Sounds that take up the whole room
The heat of the hairdryer warms your neck. Sometimes, when your ear feels awfully warm, you have to move your head to prevent any burns. Your once wet hair feels close to being dry as your head starts to feel hot. A welcomed contrast.
Yet, your mind is transfixed on one sensation. It’s warmth. A different warmth than the one from the hair dryer. A more human warmth.
His hand brushes against your neck as he tries drying the side of your hair. Soft mutters leaving his lips. Moments of frustration showing every time he leaned back. His inexperience at this is evident, yet you let him continue.
Your eyes gaze around his room. Your lips press together as you remember how it looked like just a few months prior. The barren walls and rooms with only essential furniture. He didn’t even have a curtain.
Yet now, there are plushies, photos, trinkets lining the walls. You both are seated on his mattress on the ground. Which gives you a perfect view of the space you and the other Furin boys made for him. The colours of a once barren land.
His uniform hangs by his window. Whilst yours is drying outside. Rather, your school jacket is hanging outside. Your soaked shirt still sticking to your body.
“You sure you don’t wanna change out of that?” Sakura asks as he starts working through another layer of hair. You hum in agreement. Which causes him to sigh.
You’re grateful. Grateful he offered. Yet, you’re already asking too much from Sakura. You can’t bring yourself to receive more.
For, it isn’t your intention to end up here. You merely wanted to drop off some gifts for him. You could’ve dealt with the clothes yourself. You could’ve dried your hair yourself. You could’ve dealt with it yourself.
Much to your dismay, he won’t let you.
“Quit moving around so much,” Sakura tells you. You try to still your movements as he gets to the final layer. A soft smile landing on your face.
He sighs as he finally turns off the hair dryer. He takes a look at his job. Before offering you a mirror to look at your complexion. A soft blush on his face as he gives it.
Your hair is perfect as you look at your reflection. It’s as though nothing had ever happened. If you weren’t wearing a wet shirt, no one would be able to tell. It’s as though he erased that event from ever happening.
“Thank you Haruka,” you smile brightly at him. Before pressing a kiss to the side of his cheek. A gesture that is met with panic.
“Shut up I-it was nothing” Sakura’s voice cracks as he tries hiding his face from your onslaught of kisses. His ears turning a bright shade of red.
“Come here,” You grin as you pull his hand from his face, landing another kiss onto him. Which in turn causes him to flinch as he tries to escape. Laughter escaping you as you lean closer.
One kiss went to two. Which went to three. Before long you ended up with your head landing against Sakura’s chest as his heart hammers against you.
Your laughter dies down as you both lay there. Your ear hearing every palpitation of his heart. Every speed up. Every slow down. It’s all you could feel.
Your hand traces his fingers. Fingers that are somehow red from how much he is blushing. A quiet hum leaving your lips. It’s nice.
“How did all your stuff get soaked?” Sakura asks. His voice steady as his body stiffens. “It isn’t raining or anything,”
Your lips part as you try to think of a reply. Sakura’s steady heartbeat comforting you as you try to find the answer. You sigh. Your eyes focusing on the window sill before you start to talk.
“Some of my classmates sprayed a water hose at me,” you state, voice almost monotonous. Your hands clenches Sakura’s as you press deeper to his chest. “It’s fine though you don’t have to worry,”
His hand clenches around your finger. His breath hitching. His heart beat quickening. It’s hammering against your ear now.
“I don’t have to worry?” He says it like you insulted him. His voice uncertain as you can hear the shake of his head. “Of course I have to worry,”
You lean back from his chest. Your eyes widening as you stare at him. His expression is makes your chest tighten and your heart ache.
His eyes couldn’t meet yours. His brilliant hetreochromic eyes stared at where your hands are laced together instead. His eyebrows scrunched together. Lips pressed so hard together they’re white.
“How can I not worry when someone is spraying water at you? I can’t just-“ his voice dies down. His eyes are reflective as he shuts them. His breath shaky.
“I can’t just let you go through what I did alone,”
The silence that stays between you two is painful. Weighed by the ache of two people who get each other pain. Pain of having no one to turn to, and the pain of being too scared to turn to anyone. It’s two sides of the same coin.
Your arms feel heavy. His grip on your hands loosen enough for you to break free. But you don’t. How could you? How could you deny him a simple hand hold?
It’s stupid. You thought if this conversation ever happened, you’d be apologizing for being a bother. You’d be apologizing for being a loser. You’d apologize for inconvenience.
Yet, instead your arms are wrapping around Sakura. His face against your neck as you hold him there. Your hands pressing him close to you. Before you could choke out a response.
“I’m sorry,” you apologize. Your eyes shutting. You can’t bring yourself to finish the apology. You don’t need to.
For he pulls away from the hug to look at you. His beautiful stunning eyes staring at you as he holds your hand. A small nod is what he offers you. Before you tell him everything that’s been weighting on your heart.
As you begin to tell him everything, you finally feel your shoulders relaxing. As his remarks and fist clenches, you feel your voice getting less strained. As you press another kiss to his cheek, you feel yourself smiling. For it’s strange. Strange how irrational your fears can truly be.
The warmth from the hairdryer is long forgotten by now. Yet the contrast between hot and cold still persist. Heat coming from Sakura. Whilst cold coming from your shirt.
“Hey Sakura?”
“Hm?”
“Can I use one of your shirts?”
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Umemiya.H
» I think he would be really upset on your behalf
» However, I doubt he would be the one who initiates anything.
» It’s not because he’s not angry or he thinks this behavior is fine, far from it actually
» He just seems like the guy who’d rather wait for you to talk to him rather than to take action
» He is happy to listen to you and comfort you, or if you want he’ll ‘have a conversation’ with the bullies for you
» All he really wants is for you to be ok and for you to be comfortable enough with the idea of telling him these sorts of things.
𐔌՞ 1,749 words ՞𐦯
The bright sunlight almost seems to burn. The ripe tomatoes before you reflect this light into your eyes. The warm summer weather did little to aid your mood. Your uniform almost feeling constricting in this heat.
You didn’t want to be here. Your legs aching from squatting and staring at tomatoes all day. Your lips press together in annoyance. You really didn’t want to be here.
You’d much rather be at home. Preferably asleep. You’d enjoy eating while watching various shows more than being on a school rooftop. You’d even prefer studying.
“Hey look at these tomatoes!”
Unfortunately, you love your boyfriend far too much.
His eyes crease from the intensity of his smile. His white hair framing his face as he holds up a Tomato to show you. Sweat makes his face glisten in the light. His Furin jacket long forgotten in the shade.
You push yourself from your position to walk towards him. Excited chatter from him reaches your lips as you crouch beside him. A smile making its way to your face. Your head leans against his shoulder.
“These are so ripe!” His voice lifts with enthusiasm as he points to his precious tomatoes. He looks over at you with a stupid smile. “This would work great in a vegetable stew wouldn’t they? Or maybe we can give them to Kotoha!”
“Mm they look delicious,” you reply back to him with a smile. The shiny coat of the tomatoes reflecting Umemiya’s smile. “I think this might be your best harvest,”
He grins at you, a small blush appearing on his cheeks as he holds the tomato in his hand. He nods at it. Before wrapping an arm around you. His eyes bright as he looks at you.
“How about we eat some right now?” He asks excitedly. His voice lifting with every syllable. “I have some omurice from Kotoha over there, we can eat it together!”
You lips part slightly, before you nod. Your strained smile feels more natural as Umemiya extends his hand to you. His excited chatter ensues as he start picking various tomatoes. Occasionally looking up at you.
It’s all so serene. In a way, you’re grateful that he dragged you here. You’re grateful you don’t get a moment alone with your thoughts. You’re grateful you can simply sit with him and not mull about past events.
You can almost forget about the messages left on your desk.
The shade you both walk towards is cool and inviting. It’s your heaven on this rooftop. You sit besides Umemiya as he begins bringing our various foods. He pushes the red gleaming tomatoes towards you.
Your lips part as you stare at the tomatoes before you. Their innate sweetest hits your tongue as you eat a slice. A smile break onto your face as you continue to eat. The warmth from the omurice filling you.
“These tomatoes are great aren’t they?” You nod in response. Your feet swinging underneath you.
“Yeah they’re nice,” a silence falls over the both of you. The only things to be heard are the clicks of cutlery. You could faintly hear the sounds of various Furin boys who were still lurking around below.
The heat of the sun being long forgotten the longer you both sit in the shade. The flavour of the food taking your attention away. The one neat meal a mess. You sigh, staring at the way Umemiya looks at you.
His blue eyes aren’t shining. No. Rather they’re focused. Focused on your movements. Focused on your smile. Focused on the way you relax, as though trying to ingrain this image into his mind.
It’s unsettling. You know he cherishes his moments together with you. However, this isn’t cherishing. It’s almost as though he’s memorizing this moment. It’s like he’s trying to replace any preconceived notion in his head.
“You ok?” The question leaves your mouth before neither of you could aknowledge it. His eyes widen slightly before his mouth relaxes into a smile. His hand gripping onto the handle of spoon.
“Oh yeah! Of course I’m alright,” Umemiya grins as he looks at you. “I’m spending time with my beloved partner while eating delicious food. There’s no where else I’d rather be,”
You roll your eyes, whilst a stupid smile forces itself onto your face. His laughter echos as you shake your head. You sigh as you take another bite. Unsatisfied with your response.
“Well then, why did you invite me here?” You gesture to the rooftop. Where your boyfriend’s beloved plants and vegetables grow. “If you wanted to eat, you’d ask me out to Pothos.”
He looks perplexed for a moment. Before his shoulders relax once more. His mouth parting slightly as he takes another bite. His eyebrows scrunch up before he asks you another question.
“True. But let me ask you a question in return,” he leans in slightly. His eyes never dare leaving yours. “why did you come?”
Why? Well isn’t it obvious? You want to spend time with Umemiya. You want to laugh with him. You want to lean against him. You don’t want to be lonely anymore.
Your mouth dries as you look over at him. His head rests against his palm; expecting an answer. You take a sharp breath in. Your fingers squeezing your fork.
“I just wanted to be with you,”
His response is a hum. A content hum. He nods his head as he takes a bite of his tomato. He shrugs as he finishes up his meal.
“I had the exact same reason for asking you here,” His hands resting on the bench beside him. He tilts his head slightly. His hair falling besides him. “I wanted to spend time with you, and…
“You don’t want to be alone after that do you?”
Your breath hitches. Your fingers press harder into the cutlery. Your heart hammers against your chest. Eyes widen.
He can’t have. He couldn’t have. He didn’t see it. Yet, with the way his eyes continue to stare at you, your notion seems to be wrong.
The notion that he didn’t see the vulgar phrases on your desk. That maybe he didn’t hear the slurs thrown at you. That maybe he didn’t see the way your shoulders tense when a camera was shoved in your face. The notion that he hadn’t seen any of it.
The silence that lingers between you two is suffocating. No longer could you hear chatter. No. All you could hear is the laughter and swears that was throw at you as you pushed the camera away.
“You saw it didn’t you?” You choked out. Your eyes flickering towards his face. “The video?”
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. The way his lips press together and his fist clenches tells you enough. It tells you everything.
You didn’t want him to find out. You could withstand days, months, years of the same treatment if he’d never find out. Your chest tightens as you stare at the plate of food before you. Words stolen from your mouth.
Your breaths are shaky. Your hands now clenching the wood of the bench you sit on. It’s surface is rough. Rough and painful as you continue to hold it tighter.
If he found out, wouldn’t he question why you never told him in the first place? That question haunted you as each day passed on. Every new incident making you feel even more stuck. Stuck in this cycle of hatred.
You never told him because you didn’t want to worry him. Yet, what if he doesn’t believe you? What if he called it an excuse? What if he claims that you don’t trust him. What if?
What if he thinks you don’t love him anymore.
Your vision turns blurry. Your hand tries to wipe your tears before they fall. Your breathing uneven as you curl into yourself. You try to stop the shakes. You can’t. You don’t know what you’d do with yourself if he believed that.
“I’m sorry,” you manage to breath out. Your voice empty as you try to justify your reasoning. “I didn’t want to worry you, it wasn’t that bad the first time.”
The soft clinking of silverware goes ignored as you try to find the words to explain. Your eyes transfixes on the white rim of your plate as you try to force out something. Something to explain.
“Then, it just kept happening and I didn’t know how to tell you,” before Umemiya could even breath. You continue to reason. “Not because I didn’t trust you. I trust you. I do I swear I ju-“
Your words are interrupted by two hands. Two arms pressed around your body. Your head lays against the warm crook of his neck. His heartbeat pressing against your chest.
“I know,” he whispers out. Arms squeezing you tighter. He sighs as you both stay there for a moment.
It’s warm. The embrace that he holds you in is warm. You press your cheek against his shoulder. Your eyes shutting for a moment.
“Thank you,” he says softly. His hands rubbing up and down your back. “Thank you for telling me yourself,”
Your lips part as you eyes open. Your chest tightens. You want to respond. Tell him that it’s all ok and there’s nothing to be thankful for. Yet, no words are able to be formed.
For how could you argue with someone who says that while their voice shakes. How can you argue when their heart pounds against your chest? How can you argue when his voice drops into a whisper. You can’t.
It’s weird; thinking about the fact that he’s grateful. Grateful that you said anything at all. Does he not care that you hid all that from him? Is he not hurt?
The way he pulls you closer seems to suggest that. The way his blue eyes stare at you as you explain the situation to him seem to agree. The way his hand slowly intertwined with you starts to convince you of the truth. A truth you tried to deny for too long.
He loves you.
He loves you so much that he’s happy you told him. He loves you so much that he couldn’t care less that you couldn’t begin to tell him anything. He loves you so much that he knows you love him too. A truth that makes you wrap your arms around Umemiya.
A truth that makes you glad that you came up here.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Suo.H
»Oh he’s annoyed
» Livid even at the idea of someone harming you
» We’ve seen his reaction to one of his friend’s getting hurt, so his reaction to his girlfriend is much more drastic
» especially when these idiots have the audacity to send videos of the crime to him
» It’s almost interesting to see how his mind transfix on the idea of achieving justice
» He feels awful that anything could’ve happened to you, which is why he is more focused on getting revenge than to check on you
» Afterall he’s ok with playing the villain as long as you’re ok in the end
» Whether or not you want him to be the villain is a story he forgot to listen to
𐔌՞ 1,371 words ՞𐦯
The cafe lighting is almost unsettling. You could see almost everyone in the cafe from where you are sitting. Yet, due to the plantation, you both are practically concealed from the public eye.
Your eyes stare at the table before you. It’s wooden smooth surface offer nothing of significance. But, you can’t look at anything else. How can you? How can you dare to look up when he’s staring at you like that?
His eye is almost analytical. A deep maroon that usually softens when he looks at you. However, this time it’s cold. Shadows casting over it as though even light is too scared to look at him.
His hands are interlocked before him. They are placed politely before him. He is unmoving as he continues to observe you. You aren’t sure what he feels, the only thing you are sure of is that you’re scared. Terrified.
The various chatters of the other tables do little to console you. Your hands pinching each other as you wait for your food. You are practically begging for a way out. Anything to escape his gaze.
Your eyes focus on Kotoha. Your only saviour in this world. Her back is turned to you as she prepares your meal. If only she could finish the meal now - you would be on your knees thanking her.
You aren’t sure what you did wrong. You’re innocent. Yet, Suo’s gaze implies that he doesn’t share this take. It’s as though he is staring at a criminal.
These sorts of gaze normally did little to frighten you. However, there is something in the way Suo tilts his head any time you dare to stare a conversation that terrifies you. It’s so different from the condensing looks at school. It’s so different from the gaze of someone as they punch you. It’s so different from anything you are used to.
It makes your mouth turns dry. Your breath shaky and uneven. Your chest tightens and your shoulder stiffen. It almost feels like your body is trying to eat you alive; consuming you as a form of safety.
It’s so odd that someone who normally brings you so much comfort could be so intimidating.
“Here is your Omurice!” Kotoha’s cheery voice feels the atmosphere. It’s as though you can finally breathe again. Her warm smile making you sigh in relief as you gratefully receive your meal.
“Thank you!” You thank her, voice feel with subtle desperation for her to stay. Her eyes crease as she passes tea towards Suo. She nods at you before turning. Your smile faltering as she takes a step away.
You aren’t sure what you’re expecting. That she’d stay? That maybe she’d whisk you away from whatever Suo has planned for you? It’s almost idiotic wishing.
You sigh as you take a bite from the food before you. It burns your tongue. Yet, the pain is close to nothing compared to the lingering fear in your heart. For the second Kotoha walks away, silence resumes on the table.
Your chest tightens as you hear him clear his throat. You look up at him - his eyes still staring. You feel your mouth dry as you place down your utensils, unsure about how to continue. Your hands clutch each other as you look up at him.
He places his device on the table, before sliding it over to you. An object he rarely ever uses. It’s unlocked as on it is a video, as video that you know too well.
He didn’t even need to play the video. You look up at him; eyes wide. What? How did he? Why does he? For how long?
You feel as though you want to cry. You want to say something, ask something, do anything. Yet you can’t. All you can do is stare at the pixelated image of you.
The image of you getting slurs and insults screamed at you as you stare blankly at the camera. Your expression empty. Back then, you had no anger, you had no sadness, you had no fear. You’re just tired. Tired of hearing the same insults being thrown at you over and over again.
You’re thankful when Suo takes the device away. You’re thankful that he didn’t play the video. You’re thankful that all you hear is silence. You had no interest in listening to the slurs that you hear on the daily.
Yet, your chest is still tightening. The air around you still feels suffocating. The world seems to be spinning far too fast for your brain to catch up. Since when did Suo know?
Yet, from his state right now, it’s as though he has no interest in answering that question. For he takes a sip of his tea. A slow calculated sip. His maroon eyes still staring at you as he places down his tea cup.
“What are their names?” Suo asks simply. His fingers still clutching the teacup handle. “Hmm?”
“What? Why?” All that leaves your mouth are questions after questions. You don’t like the way Suo’s voice still sounds so sweet as he asks. You don’t like the way he frames it politely. You don’t like the way he asks his question without a semblance of remorse.
“I just want to know who I’m looking for,” He states simply. Your mouth dries as you can’t bring yourself to respond. Earning a small frown from Suo,
Without warning he pushes himself up; standing before you. He tilts his head up slightly. He looks at you once more before turning around to leave. His eye still covered in shadows.
Your hand barely touches the fabric of his jacket as he tries to move away. The soft fabric being wrinkled as you try to pull him back. Your hands tightening around the small piece of fabric. Your hand’s veins being visible as you grip onto him.
“Hmm?” Suo turns around as he faces you. His head tilted slightly as his mouth presses together. “What’s wrong?”
You want to laugh. What’s wrong? Isn’t it obvious? It’s the fact he wants to leave.
Call it childish, call it stupid. Yet, the idea of being alone feels like it wants to eat you alive. For, who would listen to you if you were alone? If you scream who would come save you? Who would prevent other’s from throwing insults and phrases until you’re numb to their sounds?
You’ve never been angry, you’ve never wanted revenge. All you want is simple. Something he’s been doing for months, years. You just want some peace.
“Nothing is wrong Suo,” you tell him. His eyebrow raising as he listens to you. His eyes widening as he heard your reply.
“Mm exactly so please would you m-
“There is nothing wrong,” your fingers release from their grip on his jacket; giving him the option to leave. Your breath stills for a moment as you watch him. Your body is motionlessness as you beg for him to listen to what you have to say.
His lips that were once press together part. His shoulders seem to relax as he turns his body. His breathing steady as he faces you. His eye softening as he looks down at you.
His brilliant maroon eye is filled with so many variations of red under the light. He almost appears to have stars stuck in his eye. his pupils appearing larger as he finally looks at you. It’s gorgeous.
He sits down before you, his shoulders slightly caved inwards. He looks down at his tea cup. He picks it up and haves a sip as he opens his mouth to say something. Only for him to be left speechless.
Instead it is you who talked. You talk about the various events and incidents that have happened. You talk about the people’s faces and the words thrown at you. You talk about the lying, the gossip, the start of it all.
Whilst he listened. His mouth shut as he finally listened to everything you had to say. All of the struggles and your lack of anger. It’s almost validating. It’s like a light had finally be shined on you both.
A light that finally allows you the relax for the first time today.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Sugishita.K
» Oh he wants to beat that person up so badly
» The idea of you getting bullied irritates him so much.
» All he really wants is a peaceful life with you, so someone bothering you would annoy him
» However, he won’t fight the bullies or anything if you are uncomfortable with it
» He’d prioritize your comfort over his own need for revenge
» he’d likely let you lay besides him or lay against him as a form of comfort
» After all, he really is just a sweet teddy bear.
𐔌՞ 888 words ՞𐦯
Your head feels heavy as you lean against him. His dark blue hair is soft against your skin. Your lips are pressed together as your eyes are closed. The soft aching of your body is enough to keep you awake.
The park is only illuminated by street lamps at this time of night. The playground long abandoned as the kids of the city retreat to their homes. The only ones who inhabit this park now are bugs and the two of you. You and Sugishita.
His hands clench around your own. His heavy breathing isn’t something you can simply ignore. No. For if you could, you would’ve by now.
The icepack that is placed on your knee is almost warm now. You want to ask to get another one - yet you merely do not have the energy to do so. You barely have the energy to stand. How could you have the energy to ask for such a request?
You can almost still feel the hits against your skin. The pain that leak through your body. The rough surface of the ground as you were thrown against the floor. It’s haunting you.
It haunts you in the way your arms and legs are still littered with bruises. It haunts you in the way it aches to move. It haunts you as you think about walking to school tomorrow.
The thought of the future scares you. Any moment pass the one you are living in now is a scary undefined thought. It’s only filled with doubts and fear. Fear of what they’d say.
The cool wind of the park tries to aid your bruised limbs. The dark shadows casting over you conceals what you wished were hidden. The isolation makes you feel a bit more at peace. A little more calm.
For the reason you sit by Sugishita now, is that you’re worried. Worried about what your parents might say if you returned home covered in bruises. Worried about Sugishita getting blamed since he is ‘nothing more than a delinquent.’ Worried about what world you’d wake up in tomorrow if word got out that you told someone about the bruises.
It’s all too terrifying.
“Are you asleep?” Sugishita whispers out; half expecting a response. You hum to disagree with him as you push yourself off his shoulder. The dizziness in your head returning once more as you try to open your eyes.
It’s bright. The light from overhead momentarily blinds you as you cover your eyes. You shake your head as your eyes finally readjust. The bright white lights slowly turning into the shape of your boyfriend.
A boyfriend whose fists are curled. A boyfriend whose eyes narrow as he stares at the floor before him. A boyfriend who grits his teeth while leaning far too much forward. It makes you sigh.
It’s so odd. Anytime you envision Sugishita, he’s either asleep or resting against you. His face always an odd sort of calm that one could attribute to a lack of interest. Sure, he was often annoyed. Yet, a few words to him would leave him with a content relaxation. As though he could tolerate living even with all of these annoyances.
However, this time he seemed alert. He hasn’t even attempted to close his eyes. His nails pressing against his skin leave crescent shapes in their wake. The pain from the action making him frown as he looks ahead.
His jaw is clenched. His breathing almost rapid. His eyebrows are scrunched together as his shoulder tense up. His sighs are heavy, as if carrying the weight of guilt and responsibility.
The cool night breeze brushes against you both. As if trying to freeze this moment in time forever. Something both of you wished was true.
For you are still scared of what tomorrow may bring. It’s only in this moment that you are certain you are ok. Whilst Sugishita has no interest in being more annoyed than he currently is. He has no interest in confrontation but it is the only thing his heart is begging him to do. It’s a dilemma.
Your head presses against his arm your head grows too heavy to hold up. His muscles relax at your touch. He tilts his head to look at you. While your own gaze is transfixed on the empty playground before you both.
“Thank you for being here,” You whisper out; letting the silence carry all the meaning you need it too. Your fingers slowly find it’s way into his cold hands. Your fingers intertwined.
He’s quiet. For instead of listening to your words of thanks, his eyes are tracing over the bruises on your body. He frowns slightly. Neither of you are partially fond of the wounds.
However, he doesn’t stay annoyed. He instead watches the way your body rises and falls with each breath. He feels your head nuzzling into his shoulder. He squeezes your hand in his palm.
For maybe it isn’t right to worry about the future. Maybe it’s not right to worry about the past. For all you two really wanted to do right now, was to sit and enjoy the few moments of peace you could squeeze out of the night. A few moments where the only priority you both have are each other.
“Let me change out your icepack”
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Natori.S
» He is a RED FLAG
» I’m so sorry but there really is no other way to put it .
» He honestly isn’t particularly upset about you being hurt or bullied, if anything he’d pay to watch it
» But he is somewhat disgusted at the idea of these people being so cowardly about their violence, it’s all too restrictive
» So - figuring you’d likely be upset at these people - he’d happily take care of your problem head first with a good old swing of his bat
» it lets him have a bit of fun while [ hopefully ] getting on your good side
» He honestly doesn’t really know why he likes you so much, but he knows that your love makes him feel alive, so he’s happy enough to get his hands a bit dirty for you
» small disclaimer; but Natori is written as slightly manipulative, so please be advise that this is not a healthy relationship!
𐔌՞ 1,295 words ՞𐦯
“What th-“ your voice dies on your mouth as you take a step back. Your eyes widening as you take in the scene before you. The shadow of a bat makes your chest tighten.
Screams of agony ring out as you watch a face before you being distorted. Blood filling the space before you as you push you look into their eyes. Eyes that shut in fear. Eyes that look at yours with desperation - for salvation.
Eyes that once towered over you. You flinch at every hit, for every hit on their bodies matched a bruise they inflicted onto your own. You stare at how those who held phones to your faces and threw out slurs are reduced into piles of screaming flesh.
Yet, the most terrifying sight of all is the blue dragon before you. The print of the blue dragon shines in the light. A warning to those who recognise it. The emblem is dawned by no other than the one who stole your heart - the one whose hands are covered in blood as his laughter echos.
Your heart screams against your chest. You want to say something; you want to save them. Bless your heart, for you want to play the hero for the even the most damned. Yet, how are you meant to do that when the one you love is the villain?
A swing of the club causes one of the boys to roll across the ground. His body twisting in unusual ways as blood drips down his mouth. His eyes shut. Which only causes Natori to grin.
“Damn these guys are weak,” The other two try to stand as Natori turns to face you. His eyebrows lifted as he points to wards the bloodied boys behind him. He shakes his head, his brown hair flowing.
He turns around and swings his clubs towards both of the boys. Which hits one of them right in the face. The boy’s eyes rolling to the back of his head as his body lays still on the floor.
The other stands over his fallen comrade. His eyes wide as he takes a step back. Then another. Before he screams.
A blood curling scream. A scream that makes his throat ache. The sound echoing as tears stream down his face. A scream so loud you can’t help but flinch.
A scream that gets interrupted by a swing.
The silence is deafening. Natori stands before you; barely moving as the silence stretches out. The silence immobilizes you. Any attempt to move is long forgotten your breathing quietens.
His finger twitches. It twitches before Natori tilts his head to the side. A crack is heard as he stomps on the unconscious boy’s hand. A small chuckle leaves his lips as he turns around.
You push yourself back; trying to escape. Yet, it’s all in vain. For Natori takes a step closer to you, his bat dragging across the floor behind him. A smile spreads across his face. Whether the red on his face is blood or a blush is uncertain.
Your heart is screaming against your chest as you look up at his figure. His eyes peer down at you. They almost appear to soften as he kneels in front of you. He leans forward until his head is against your chest. He sighs as he listens to your rapid heartbeat.
“Surprise,” his voice is almost cheerful as he nuzzles against you. His arms wrapping themselves around you. “They were bothering you weren’t they?”
You stare at him. His brown eyes wide as he looks up at you. A smile playing on his face - a smile he was expecting you to return. He holds you a little closer as he presses his head closer to your chest.
Your arms feel heavy as he makes you wrap them around his body. Your legs ache from supporting the weight of two individuals and a bat. Your body hurts as he makes you lean against the wall of the warehouse. The smell of blood ever prominent.
It’s disgusting.
Disgusting how three boys lay bleeding and unconscious before you. Disgusting how their attacker is cozying up to you. It’s disgusting how he expects praise for the blood that is shed. Is he a psychopath?
“Doll?” He extends the last syllable of the pet phrase as he sits up. His hand coming in contact with your cheek as he shakes your head around.
“Do you not like it? I worked so hard to find these people for you so I could fight them, they weren’t particularly strong but it was worth it for your enterta-“
The slap echos in the room.
Your hand aches from the force of your movement. It shaking slightly. His skin rough when your hand met contact with it. A reddish hue covers the side of his face as he stares at you.
Wide eyes that seem to shrink as you look at him. His body stilling as his hand drops beside him. His mouth open; as though he wants to continue the conversation but can’t bring himself to. His breathing turns shallow as he sits before you.
“Do I like it? Of course I don’t like it stupid,” Every word lands like an insult as you respond to his question. You shake your head as you point at his chest. “Why would I want violence? Sure they were mean but you didn’t need to beat them unconscious!”
Natori’s body tenses as your volume increases. His breath hitching as he looks down. His hand lets go of his club. His head hanging low.
“You can’t just beat up people Natori,” You sigh as you try not to look at him. Your hands squeezing around your thumb. “I thought you were done with all this violence after KEEL and I-“
“I’m sorry,” His voice is quiet as he apologises. He looks at his bloodied hands as shakes his head softly. “I’m sorry I know I can’t keep fighting people but,”
His voice breaks as he looks up at you. Wide brown eyes that water up as you stare down at him. His lips opening and closing as he tries to form a sentence. His hands hesitating to touch you.
“I was just so worried about you,” He admits looking down towards the ground. His hands clenching into fists. “I heard what they were doing to you and I couldn’t let your get hurt like that so I had to do something and…”
His eyes closes. His brown hair framing his face as he looks to the side. He looks almost remorseful over what he has done. Ashamed of his own actions.
“I know it’s wrong and I won’t do it again just,” he pauses, taking a shaky breath in before looking at you again. “Forgive me?”
Your heart aches as you stare at him. His eyes looking up at you. Their reflective surface and his shaking figure makes your mouth go dry. He looks so, pathetic.
Apprehensively, you nod your head. A soft smile of relief washes over his face as he wraps his arms around you once more. His hand playing with your hair as he holds you. Your heart hurts as you let yourself lean into his touch.
It’s disgusting how easily you can fall into the arms of your lover. Perhaps that’s why he was able to steal your heart. You’re far too naive. You close your eyes as you quietly believe all of the white lies he’s thrown at you to just to be able to see you crawl back into his arms once more. You close your eyes as you continue to lay against him.
You close your eyes to let him grin at winning mind games against your heart.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Kiryu.M
» As I’ve stated previously, Kiryu is the most protective of all these guys
» When he does eventually find out, he’s honestly just upset he couldn’t do anything to help you
» He can’t bare the thought of someone making your feel insignificant or stupid
» He understands what it’s like to be made fun of or not appreciated and he hates that you had to go through that
» But he’ll never blame you for not telling him
» He understands what why you may not and he honestly cares more about whether you’re ok
» He probably figured it out from subtle changes in your personality, which frankly upsets him further.
» His way of comforting you would likely to try to get you to be comfortable with him and you both doing whatever you wanted to do with no judgement
»oh I love Kiryu so much
𐔌՞ 1,051 words ՞𐦯
Ice cream is sweet.
That’s all you can think as you taste the sweet treat. Your hands hold the cone of the delicacy as you swing your legs back and forth. You lick the sides, afraid of wasting any. It’s just so sweet.
The swings you sit on rocks slightly as you try to bend your knees accordingly. While Kiryu happily swings as he eats his own ice cream. His hair flowing with the wind as he stares ahead.
It’s unfair. It’s so unfair how he looks so free as he swings back and forth. It’s unfair how he’s able to eat his ice cream with so little care. It’s unfair how easily he was able to pay for both your ice creams.
His pink hair shines as he looks over at you. His emerald eyes gazing down at you. The smile on his lips disappearing as his swinging comes to a stop. He lifts his jacket up to cover his shoulders.
You sigh as you look down at your sneakers. Black patternless sneakers. Your lips press together as your legs still. Your shoulders tighten as you look forwards.
Two hands on your back make you gasp. Your legs swinging as you fly up. Light chuckling fills your ears as you fall back to earth. Before the two hands press against your back once more.
Your fingers clench around the swing’s chains. You try to angle to ice cream to prevent it from falling; eyes widening as it nearly tips. As you swing backwards, two hands stabilise you as you watch your ice cream. Your mouth opening slightly.
These two hands that rest on your back slowly wrap around your waist as a weight is placed on your shoulders. Vibrations run down your spine as he hums against you. His ice cream cone being pressed against you. A small kiss that is pressed against your neck makes your face burn as you look down.
“Are you ok?” Kiryu’s voice is quiet as he asks you. His arms unwrapping from your waist as he moves to stand beside you. His mouth pressing into a pout.
“Yeah why?” Your response is sharp and almost immediate. A instinct at this point. Which causes Kiryu to tilt his head as he looks at you. His mouth pressing into a thin line as he takes another lick of his ice cream.
“It’s just,” he leans in, pressing a small kiss to your cheek. You pull your head away; eyes slightly wide as he shakes his head. “You’re normally more excited about ice cream, and you normally smile after every kiss,”
Your mouth opens at his explanation. You almost want to laugh. You can’t deny the allegations about smiling, but had you always really enjoyed ice cream?
Perhaps as a young child, but you hardly mention enjoying sweet treats anymore. You barely mention anything anymore. You sigh as you simply shrug. You take another lick of your ice cream as you lean your body against him.
His head lays on top of yours as you both stay where you are. Your body leaning fully towards him as you close your eyes. You let the sweet taste of the ice cream maintain in your mind as you rock with Kiryu.
“I miss you”
Your eyes open at his words. He misses you? Yet, you are right here? How could he miss you.
Yet, he continues to stare forwards, not daring to correct himself. His free hand holds yours softly, as if cherishing what little of you that remains. Your lips press together as the both of you remain enveloped by silence.
Had you really change that much? To the point of someone missing you? You had never deliberately changed anything about you. But perhaps as a coping mechanism, your eccentricity slowly began to fade away. Now you’re only left as a shell.
Summer’s sun blazes down on you both as you try to swing. The squeaking of the chains made you frown slightly as you are unable to move. It’s all far too tiring.
It’s tiring to pretend. It’s tiring to put on a facade. It’s tiring to exist with the threats of being called names and slurs lingering. It’s so much easier just to not. To simply fade away until you’re closer to a stem than a flower.
You take another lick of the ice cream. Your lips pressing together as you savour its flavour. You sigh as you look towards your boyfriend. Whose greens eyes continue to look forward and a smile playing on his lips.
You are no idiot. You know that Kiryu’s been subjected too far worse than you - and by his own family at that - but somehow he keeps smiling. His hair is always styled. His clothes fashionable. His room is still decorated and covered in pop culture references, and random figures you buy him.
It’s sweet. Sweet how he always accepts your presents. Sweet how he always lets you ramble about your favourite topics. Sweet how you always end up laughing and smiling with him.
“The ice cream tastes good,” You told him with a grin. His eyes look towards him, his smile growing as he nods at you. A small laugh leaving his lips.
“Oh yeah?” He asks back. He leans closer towards you. “You sure it isn’t because you didn’t pay?”
You lightly punch his arm. He feigns a gasp as he laughs about how mean you are to him. Conversation flows between the both of you as various topics you’ve been suppressing finally comes out. His eyes watching the way your voice continues to fluctuate.
He knows. He knows about everything that they’ve said to you at school. It’s obvious from the way he lets you deflect any questions about school. Yet, you can’t seem to bring yourself to care. For it’s as long as you can breathe around him, it doesn’t matter if he knows you hold your breath.
You rock your legs back and forth as you finally finish your ice cream. A comfortable silence falls between you both. Neither of you moved. Until, he decided to lean in and press a small kiss to the side of your face, which causes you to smile.
I have an announcement to make. It’s no surprise to anyone that I take a while to write a request [ I apologize to everyone who has ever requested ]. I never intended nor realized how many request I would end up getting or receiving.
one of the main reason I take a while to write a request, is because I have a lot of original ideas I also want to write, and therefore loose motivation to finish off my request.
therefore - to prevent more of these super long waiting periods - I’ve decided to close my requests.
I do plan on finishing all my requests before September [ let’s see if this happens ], but after this I will not be re-opening requests. Any request made outside of the allocated request period, will not be completed [ unless I can combine it with another request ].
I do apologize for this! I will update my masterlist and rules soon but yes that is the general gist of the situation. I may open my request in the future but that is highly unlikely.
Hello!! I looove your writing on Windbreaker fics! Can I ask more on Suo? If ever could you write more about his departure from Furin? I can’t wait for his arc!!
Clockwork || Suo.H X reader
“Do you want to change that clock?”
♡ “No”
☆ In which: As you find some joy in your j*b, a rather annoying clock and a certain blonde distrupts your flow in time.
☆ contains: f!reader, manga spoilers
☆ A/N: HiHi! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ I would like to apologize in advance. I am fully aware that you requested for about Suo’s departure. however I couldn’t realistically think of a story idea that wasn’t a repeat of falling behind, or would’ve worked better as a part of this series. As an apology, here is part three with minimal angst! I’m not sure which chapter this takes place in [ i can’t be bothered to go check, if someone knows feel free to comment!!! ] Anyways, I love all of you guys and Happy reading ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
Masterlist: A Matter of Time Masterlist
previous Part: Too Little Too Late
Wc: 3,434 words
The soft warm light filters through the cafes. The light chatter of early morning runners fill the cafe. The morning glow makes the cafe seem inviting. The warm heat from the heater makes you even more inclined to stay indoors.
The repetitive brush strokes of your broom plays as you continue to sweep. Your footsteps echoing as you clean. Your uniform sways and dances. The ticking clock in the back goes ignored as you finish up your morning job.
It’s almost like a sweet memory. These morning clean ups has always been your favourite part of your job. It is serene. Quiet. Peaceful.
Back then, you could always hear Kotoha’s quiet mumbles. Yet — ever since Kotoha gave you the keys to the cafe — all you can hear are your own movements. It’s an hour of isolation. An hour of reflection. An hour of peace.
You hum out a simple melancholic tune as you await Kotoha’s arrival. It is comforting. The routine of it all. You sit down at one of the bar stools as you wait for the official start of your shift.
The soft jingle of the door makes your turn to face a familiar face. Kotoha smiles as she waves. Her hair is getting longer now. The brown waves brushing against her shoulders as she walks.
“You’re here early again,” Kotoha states; setting her bag down. She wraps her apron around her self as she begins prepping the kitchen. “You really don’t need to take up the morning shift again.”
“I just want to,” The words that leave your mouth feel right. You do want to come in the morning. You do want your moments of solitude. You do want to help out. Yet, the words sound wrong as you say them.
Kotoha does not seem to be too bothered however. For she continues prepping various meal items and tidy up a bit more before the early morning customers. You try to help, but you find yourself staring at a red clock instead. The slow ticking clock.
He always hated that clock. He once mentioned the clock would hurt his sensitive ear and reawaken the Chinese spirit in his eye. You never believed that. So, the clock continues to tick.
A few weeks ago, you hated that clock. You couldn’t bring yourself to get rid of it. So, you’d spend time glaring at the clock as it continues to move. Yet now it’s a different story.
“Hey, Kotoha can we change that clock out?” You ask curiously. She shrugs and allows you to; saying something about how it’s off time anyways.
The scrapping of the chair echoes as you drag it across the room. Your shoes press down on the wood as your fingers press against the wall. You sigh as you stare at the clock. It’s ticking growing louder.
Your fingers curl around the clock’s face. It’s cool surface brushing against your skin. The pale green contrasting against your complexion. The glint in the clocks face makes you stare for a bit longer.
Its black hands shine as each second pass. It mocks you. There is never a delay in the ticks. They keep going whether you’d like it or not. You can ignore it all you like but there will always be an irritating sound haunting you.
You sigh as your fingers relax. Your hand instead finds the back of the chair and stabilizes you as you take a step down. You can’t bring yourself to change the clock. You can’t.
You back presses against the cool back of the chair as you tilt you head back. You admire each groove on the ceiling as you sit there. You wait for the first few customers of the day to finally arrive. You wait for another activity to do. You wait for another distraction. A distraction from your thoughts.
The rest of the morning seems to be almost mundane. Light chatter and soft smiles. Interactions with regular customers seem to flow into giggles and laughter. It is like a song you’ll happily repeat.
Your hand loosely holds the cool handle of the pan. The soft sizzle of butter hums as you grab a hold of the eggs. A light crack of the eggs and you watch the egg whites fill the pan. You had a tight hold on your chops sticks as you mixed the egg around.
“Ah it’s so good having you back in the store!” One of the customers start as you plate her food. She is an elderly lady. You never caught her name; you only knew she had a cat named Risa. Her smile is warm as you push a plate towards her. “I missed you these past few weeks,”
Your smile falters slightly as you go to start the next order. Missed you? You stare at your empty reflection in the cutlery. You scrunched eyebrows and parted lips told the elderly about your confusion.
“But, I was here last week miss?” You say slowly - worried this was a symptom of aging. She smiles softly before shaking her head; sighing as she takes a bite.
“Ah but you didn’t quite feel like, you,” she explains. She waves her hand dramatically to illustrate her point before continuing to eat. “Most of the Furin boys aren’t acting like themselves so I’m glad you’re feeling better,”
You nod your head slowly as the rest of the conversation goes tuned out. Were you really like that? You never particularly notice it, yet it is easier to come to work. It is easier to get out of bed. World does feel a bit lighter.
It’s weird feeling like this again. You suppose you never noticed due to how gradual the change felt. However, its new found presence in your mind is unsettling. A reminder that does quite sit right.
Your lips press together as you find yourself cleaning the old lady’s cutlery. You don’t even remember bidding her goodbye. All you can feel is the cold water. Cold water rushing over your hands as you scrub.
The water’s echo is all you can focus on as you hold the plates under the water. The mess on the plate smoothly wash away with the water. You sigh as you see your reflection in the newly washed plates. Your fingers pressing harder into the sponge.
Your sighs linger in the now empty cafe. The only ones left are you and Kotoha. Your hands rest against the sink as you stare at the wall for a moment. Too lost in thought to attempt a simple conversation with Kotoha.
Thoughts that are interrupted by the jingle of the bell.
Your eyes glance over to see one familiar Furin boy. Whose blonde hair glows like a halo over his kind face. His grin lighting up the area around him as he came closer. It is Nirei.
You and him had gotten quite close after your first encounter. He is a frequent visitor of Pathos after all. You found yourselves talking about school, to boys, to anything that could come up. He - in other words - is your friend
Behind him are two taller boys. Two that you’ve only seen once or twice. One of them has a scrawl on his face; the other smiles politely at you. All three of them carry various gifts and items. Besides you, Kotoha greets them both before you could say anything.
“Sugishita, Momijikawa, nice to see you guys,” Kotoha grins as she walks up to the two boys. Glaring slightly at the boy with shorter hair. “Didn’t think you would show up here since you can cook ‘amazing’ omurice,”
“Did I call it amazing? I recalling saying it’s excellent,” The boy - Momijikawa - laughs as he continues his banter with Kotoha. He walks into the cafe with Sugishita trailing behind. Their conversation is filled with laughter and teasing.
A smile finds itself onto your lips as your eyes follow them. However, a missing boy makes you turn your attention back to the door. Where Nirei is walking closer to you instead.
His shoulders are tight as he walks closer. A strained smile as he thinks about his response. His fluffy hair seeming flatter the closer he gets. Fingers curling around the shopping bags he carries.
“Nirei-kun?” Your voice softens as he takes a seat at the barstool. The soft thump of the bags fill your silence. “What would you like the order? Melon soda?”
He nods his head. You nod back at him before turning to start preparing his drink. Silence falls between you as the chatter of the others seems to drift further away. His lips press against each other as he plays with his sleeves.
You pour in the sweet Melon syrup as your eyes flicker to Nirei’s face. His wound had healed by now, but soft eye bags sit under his dull eyes. A heavy sigh leaves his lips as he watches his drink being made. He seems tired.
As you pour in the carbonate soda, Nirei lifts his head. He watches as the syrup turns into a drink. The moment it’s finally topped with ice cream, is when he sits up right. It’s the moment where he leans forward slightly. It’s the moment when he begins to speak.
“Has anyone told you about what Endo came to say about Suo?” His voice is shaky as he mentions Endo’s name, saying it like some sort of curse. You shake your head. You’d heard of Endo - of course you have - but what he said had yet to be passed along.
“Oh, well,” Nirei presses his lips together again. His hands clutching at each other as he looks down at the table. “Well, he told us that Suo is from another group in a city not that far from here.”
You listen as Nirei narrates Suo’s situation. The Bankoku-Gai. The Red Chanparu. The role as an officer. The fact this is all his choice. You listen to him as you finish off Nirei’s drink. You listen to him as you start making your own. You listen while trying to drown him out.
“Yeah and after Endo told us all that, Sakura he,” Nirei’s voice dies on his tongue as he recalls the events. His sighs sound heavy with days worth of worry as he stares at his fizzy drink. The drink you push towards him.
You take a sip of your own melon soda, flinching at the fizzy sensation as you await Nirei’s continuation. Yet all Nirei does is mix his soda. He watches as the ice cream melts.
“Sakura hasn’t been at school for days now,” Nirei whispers out. His hand clutching onto his glass. “He hasn’t responded to any messages either,”
You hum softly at the information. You mix your drink before taking a bit of the ice cream. Nirei shakes his head as he pushes his drink away.
“He just, he looked so angry,” Nirei explains. His hand clutching his notebook near by. Eyes fixed on the table as his teeth grit.
“I’m angry too. If Suo wanted to leave, I wish he told us all a proper goodbye but,” Nirei’s voice cracks as he tries to continue. “I think the people most affected are you and Sakura,”
You stop drinking at his words. You and Sakura? You are almost amused at his suggestion. You didn’t have the heart to argue against Nirei as he finally starts to eat his ice cream.
“So, me Sugishita and Momijikawa are planning to go to Sakura’s house in a moment,” Nirei explains. He gestures to the presents below the table. “We brought gifts from our classmates. And we came here so we, well so I can ask you-“
“Ask you if you want to join us?”
You stare at Nirei for a moment. Your eyes watching as he waits for a response. Hands clutching each other hopefully. You almost feel bad.
“Ah I don’t think I can, my shift runs late today.” his mouth opens in disappointment. His mouth closes as he nods his head. He sends you a sad smile with a nod.
“Oh ok then,” he response. He smiles harder; trying to disguise his sadness. However his voice betrays the hint of sadness in his voice. “I’ll send you his address anyways in case Kotoha decides to let you free early,”
You offer him a laugh and a nod as he pulls out his phone to send the address. You stare as he smiles softly. Not the extravagant smile he flashed earlier. This one is sweet. Smaller. More real.
Conversation between you two continue as usual. Any tension in the air is gone. Your words slip out naturally as both your drinks empty. You find yourself cleaning up his glass as your laughter dies down.
“Ah it’s getting late. We should probably get going,” Nirei says picking up his stuff. He calls over to the other two boys as they all make their way out.
The door jingles as Sugishita and Momijikawa step outside. Their chatter fading away. Yet - instead of joining them - Nirei stands by the door. His hand lingering on the doorknob.
His eyes stare up at you as he smiles once more. His shoulders drop. His hand raises in a wave before he bids you goodbye one more time.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying work now,”
The echo of the door rings out as the words linger in the air. You stare blankly at the empty spot where Nirei once stood. Your lips pursed together as you hold the glasses in your hand. Unable to move.
The silence left behind by the three boys is uncomfortable. Neither you nor Kotoha say a word as you clutch the glass. The coldness of the surface barely registering as you stare blankly at the door. A sigh leaves your lips.
You are enjoying work. You can’t continue to pretend that you dislike it. You want to wake up. You want to wear your uniform. You want to unlock the door to the cafe. You want it all.
Yet, that disturbs you. It makes your chest tighten up and your breathing get shallow. Your fingers curl harder around the glass. Your gaze drops to the sink.
It’s disturbing. Disturbing that your chest aches due to a lack of grieving. It’s disturbing that your chest aches due to a lack of an ache. It’s disturbing that you aren’t sad.
Are you not the one who should be most affected? Are you not the person whose boyfriend ran away? Are you not the partner to this supposed officer in a far away city? You are.
You place the glass on the drying rack. A chocked sigh leaves your lips as you shake your head. Your fingers moving to clutch the sharp edges of the table. Your lips part as you stand there. Immobile.
Your heart feels like it’s clawing at itself. Annoyed that it’s not beating the way you want it to; the way you need it to. For a guilt lives within your heart. A guilt and a fear.
Guilt about being ok. Fear of not loving him.
You can almost imagine Sakura. Sakura being tightly wounded in blankets that he can’t bear to leave. His hand clutching his heart as his nightmares remind him of what’s loss. Tear stained pillow beneath his head.
That is what everyone pictured you to be like. Sad, crying and hopeless. Yet, not once did you stop going out. Not once did you stop going to work. Even when it wasn’t mandatory, you were here.
Your hands clutch the sink harder; knuckles turning white. Your teeth grit as you try to maintain composure. Try to maintain stability. Yet how can you do that when a question repeats endlessly in your mind?
Why? Why did you show up? Why weren’t you crying? Why aren’t you sad?
You stare at your hands; hands that have continued to cook and clean despite it all. How could you be ok? Your mouth goes dry at the only answer that remains in your mind. The heart not wanting to believe the truth your brain preaches.
You don’t love him.
The towel is rough against your skin as you dry your dripping hands. The purple color contrasting your skin. The feeling of dry hands makes your sigh as you step away from the sink. Heart still pounding inside.
You don’t love him. The thought feels wrong. Yet, all the evidence suggests it’s right. Why else would you be healing? If you loved him wouldn’t you be hurt?
Your fingers fumble with the tie of your apron. For perhaps you are too preoccupied by the ache in your chest. The endless horror of the truth you discover.
For, it’s not just the fact you don’t love him. It’s not just the fact you fell out of love. It’s the fact this is betrayal. A betrayal of his heart.
The knot behind your back finally comes undone as the apron hangs loosely around your neck. You lift it over your head. Your mouth presses into a frown as you stare at the green apron that lays in your hand. A green apron he always used to help you hang.
He loves you. That is the truth that ran through your mind ever since you first encounter with Nirei. Yet, from the way his eye used to soften at you; the lift of his voice as he converses with you it was obvious. That despite it all, his love for you is the one thing he never lied about.
Your hand brushes against the cold hanger as you place your apron away. You should be sorry. Sorry to Suo. Sorry to yourself. Just sorry. Your fingers clutch around the apron before finally letting go. You’re sorry.
“Oh are you going already?” Kotoha’s voice catches your attention. You nod. She smiles as she watches you continue pack up your things.
Silence ensues between the both of you as she continues to sweep the floor. The only thing ringing out in the quiet room is ticking. A loud slow ticking. Ticking that never seems to miss a beat as time marches on. Ticking from a certain clock.
“Hey you never changed out the clock,” kotoha mentions; pointing to the red clock on the wall. It’s time slightly off as it continues to click. “Do you want me to change it?”
You stare at the clock for a second. Its arms going strong despite its tribulations. The clock continues to clock forward. Yet, despite its onward march, it’s still 4 minutes off.
Despite its continuation, it’s still behind.
Your lips press together. You can remember Suo begging you to change the clock out. His hands curling around the fabric of your sleeve so desperately. A small pout on his face.
You always hated the clock. It annoyed you as much as it had annoyed Suo. Yet, you kept it out of pettiness. Now, it feels almost wrong to attempt to move it; to get rid of that final reminder of him.
Why did your heart pang to think about getting rid of the clock? Why did your heart hurt when thinking about you and Suo? Why did your heart hurt? The kind of hurt that almost feels exhilarating.
“No,” you reply to Kotoha. Your fingers curl around the doorknob before you flash a smile at Kotoha; bidding her farewell. “I need to go. See you tomorrow!”
Before you can hear her answer, you are gone. The wind pushing against your face as your steps break into a run. Your eyes widen. You make a sharp turn, trying to locate your targets.
Maybe Nirei was right, you and Sakura are the ones who were most affected. You certainly are. For despite the fact you’re running with a smile on your face, the ache in your heart remains. An ache that is born from a beauitful emotion known as love.
The question was never did you love Suo. Nor was it did Suo love you. It is whether both of you trust each other enough to heal. To live life even with regrets. To learn to run again.
For one truth dawned upon you as buildings blur past you. A smile evident on your face as three heads come into your vision. A blonde and two dark haired individuals. Your grin as a truth you’ve been ignoring finally comes to light.
For perhaps the only reason you can run is because your love allowed you to live through life like clock work.
