Haven

you can hear it in the silence. haven nevada 3/11/18 {Naomi Okamura, 23, Halifax}

[okdanielrusso]

second chance // danomi → January 2nd, 2022 { future }

[okdanielrusso]

Daniel and Naomi didn’t really talk about having kids together, not because they didn’t want to have kids together, but because it was just something they just didn’t think to talk about since Haven; which was almost four years ago. If it was a possibility, he wouldn’t mind it at all. He’d love it actually, more than anything. But the thought of what happened the last time possibly happening again was something that he knew she feared most. He was even scared of that possibility.

He joined her on the edge of the bathtub and put his arm around her, “we’ll look at it together,” he assured her. “We’re in this together. We shouldn’t let what happened before scare us. Whatever happens, we’ll be okay. We shouldn’t think the worst thing possible. We should be happy, Naomi. I want you to be happy.”

[alrightnaomi]

She couldn’t help it, the feeling like there was a pit in her stomach was constantly there, ever since she realized she could be pregnant again. How could Naomi do this again? God, nine months of hell, it was supposed to be worth it. That’s what had gotten her through it before. It was going to be worth it when she saw her baby girl, that’s what she told herself. But that didn’t happen, and thinking about it all made her heart drop. And that’s all she had been thinking about lately. 

Naomi felt the tears welling up in her eyes as she leaned into Daniel, burying her face in his neck. “I don’t know if I can do this,” she said.  How could she? Naomi had done everything right before, but she still lost Haven. Just the thought that it could happen again...that was reason enough. And she didn’t know how it would feel, but part of her couldn’t help but feel guilty. Would they feel like a replacement for the daughter they lost too soon? She wished it wasn’t like this, she wished she could be happy. But she just felt scared. Naomi was crying at this point, her tears dampening his shirt. “I’m scared, Daniel.” She cried, this time voicing her thoughts out loud. 

[okdanielrusso]

second chance // danomi → January 2nd, 2022 { future }

“Daddy, I’m turning seven! Do you know how many that is?” the little girl beamed, as she held up seven of her fingers with a small grin. “I think I’ll be old enough to take care of a hamster. I deserve one for my birthday. I mean, look how great I am with Poppy,” she inquired, trying to make a point to her dad as she called her dog over and started petting him. “My mom would never let me have one. She thinks I’ll kill it.” Daniel was in the kitchen making his usual Sunday night dinner of chicken tacos that Kylie loved so much, as he listened to her go on about all the things she wanted for her seventh birthday. He gleamed at all the ideas she brought up, and didn’t even disrupt her as she went on and on. 

“Your mother wouldn’t even let you have a fish, Ky. Remember she yelled at me for buying you that hella rad goldfish? I’m honestly not surprised she won’t let you have a hamster. ” He glanced over to his daughter once he was done chopping all of the ingredients, and gave her a reassuring smile, “you’re at my house three days a week, Ky. It’d be hard on me to keep an eye on it, while you’re not here. Especially since I’m doing a lot of work with trying to open my own restaurant. I think Poppy is good enough for now, okay?” He tried to explain to her in the most honest way possible; trying not to upset her. The almost seven year old let out a sigh, but then finally let out smile as she ran over to her dad giving him a hug, letting him know she understood.

As Kylie was eating her dinner and watching her favorite cartoons out in the living room, Daniel was back in his and Naomi’s bedroom sitting on the bed waiting for Naomi to come out of the bathroom. The past few weeks had been a little rough. She was feeling sick all throughout the holidays, but the two of them just sort of shrugged it off as no big deal. But then, the nausea hit Naomi harder, so they knew it was finally time to check what they should of checked in the first place. All of the memories from when this happened the first time came flying back quickly and hit him harder than it should of. “You okay, babe?” He said softly knocking on the bathroom door, “I’m right here, okay? Everything is going to be okay.”

[alrightnaomi]

It was one of the nights they had Kylie with them, and normally Naomi could be found in the kitchen setting the table for dinner or helping Kylie with her homework. She loved it when Kylie was around, she still couldn’t help but smile when she would walk into the living room and there would be toys and dolls everywhere. It made the whole apartment feel more homey and welcoming, she thought. But this particular night was different, and Naomi didn’t know how to feel about it. 

She couldn’t pinpoint the exact day when it started, the nauseousness and just the overall feeling like she was coming down with something. At least that’s what Naomi thought it was, a stomach bug maybe. Of course it happened to occur over the holidays, which was never a good time to feel sick, but Naomi tried to ignore it. She had to get past it, it would only last a few days, right? But here they were, weeks later. Naomi wasn’t feeling any better, in fact she was feeling worse. It was like both of them knew what was happening, and she had to admit the idea had been in the back of her mind since she started getting sick....but it couldn’t be. Right?

But that’s how she found herself on that particular Sunday night in her bathroom, waiting. Naomi sat on the edge of the tub, her timer on her phone inching closer to the three minutes the test needed before she could see the results. Pieces of Daniel and Kylie’s conversation could be heard, but she didn’t pay attention to what they were saying. Her thoughts were screaming in her head, Naomi really didn’t know what to think about what could be happening. They had never really talked about kids, or even the possibility that Naomi could be pregnant again, it was like it was an unspoken rule between the two of them. But yet there she was. It all felt so familiar, like it was only yesterday that she was in the bathroom, with Daniel and Eric on the other side, just waiting for the results. She had thought that those few minutes were the longest of her life, until now. Naomi felt sick to her stomach. 

She was so engrossed in her thoughts that the sound of Daniel’s knock on the door caused her to jump, bringing her back to reality. Naomi hadn’t even noticed, but the timer had been going off for a least a minute already. “You can come in, it’s not locked.” She said quietly, not moving from her seat as she silenced the alarm. Her wide, worried eyes looked up at him as he entered the small room, her heart pounding against her chest. “I can’t look at it.”

[smhwyatt]

You’ve finally come to terms with your inner gay?

[alrightnaomi]

No, but I found a super amazing brownie recipe on pinterest.

[okdanielrusso]

Rude. I’d have to come up with a new guess. 

Brad Pitt? So you’re the reason him and Angelina aren’t together anymore? Hella rude.

Mel’s family always goes all out for Christmas, and she likes Kylie to be around all of that. I mean, I agree. It’s nice to have good memories of Christmas. I mean I never had Christmas as a kid, so I’m glad Kylie can be around her family that can give her that. Yeah, I wish I could be a part of it, but, I just want what’s best for her. We’ll do what we did last year, and celebrate Christmas early with her. It’ll still be great. She’s already looking forward to it.

Well you’re here everyday, Naomi. My apartment is practically yours.

[alrightnaomi]

I think it’s more clever than rude.

Yep, it was all me. Oh, and Bradley Cooper. That’s why they won’t make movies together, they just start fighting over me. 

Do you realize how mature and fatherly that sounded? It was actually pretty adorable. I think it’s sweet that you want to her to have these good memories but I think she should have the chance to have real Christmas with you, too. Early Christmas is great, and all. But it’s not the same. Is she at least spending Thanksgiving here? 

I know, but it seems silly to say it would be my dog. Maybe we should let Kylie pick it out.

[okdanielrusso]

Yeah, because just like you said, I’ll eventually be right.

Okay hold up, I got like twenty bucks in my pocket. I hope you got another man to get you all of that. 

I think I want to. I think it’d make her happy, especially since she doesn’t get to spend Christmas with me again. We should pick one out together, I mean, it’s gonna be our dog too. 

[alrightnaomi]

...or I could never get my haircut again.

Well, duh. I thought you knew about my other boyfriends...I’ve been with Brad Pitt for years.

Why not? Shouldn’t it be your turn? Well I love dogs and I love Kylie so I think it sounds like a great idea. I don’t know if it counts as my dog, though. It’s going to be staying with you.

[californiaface]

[okdanielrusso]

Good. It’s always my go to guess.

Is it a big list this year? Ky really wants a puppy for Christmas. That’s all she keeps asking for.

[alrightnaomi]

Is it really? I had no idea.

Of course it’s big. I want the usual Barbie dream house, a pony -wait not, a unicorn, a brand new Mercedes and of course, the most important present of them all, a private concert from Beyonce. 

But you should totally get Kylie a puppy, I love puppies. Like puppies are greater than people in basically every way....maybe I should ask for a puppy....

[okdanielrusso]

Damn I thought I had it. Thirty-three days already? Crazy.

[alrightnaomi]

If you keep guessing that you’ll eventually be right, so don’t worry. Yeah, I know. And I haven’t even planned my Christmas list yet, I’m so behind.

[okdanielrusso]

You….got a hair cut?

[alrightnaomi]

No, but good guess. There’s only 33 days until Christmas!

[alrightnaomi]

Hey, guess what!

[happyprettylittleliarsday-deact]

@shaym: Missing my little buddies at the @sheldrickwildlifetrust we visited in Nairobi last week! Be sure to check out all the amazing work they are doing rescuing orphaned elephants who have lost their parents due to poaching. Consider fostering one of these sweet babies this holiday season by going on to their website for more info… www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org 🐘 #inamedthisoneGary

[its-omghollywood-deactivated201]

[okdanielrusso]

I’m the lucky one here. I don’t know why or how you put up with me. 

[alrightnaomi]

Well, I mean, who else is going to make me pancakes naked?

[okdanielrusso]

What can I say? I’m hella romantic.

[alrightnaomi]

How did I get so lucky?

[okdanielrusso]

I’ll cook for you. While naked of course.

[alrightnaomi]

Hmm, dinner and dessert. I like the sound of that.

[alrightnaomi]

fmckeam:

That’s because I don’t think I’ve ever told you this.

Yeah, which is absolutely crazy. You should have told me you know how to knit like ages ago.

[smhwyatt]

What do you mean? Are you saying I’m not the gayest person you know?

[alrightnaomi]

Nope. Definitely not. But you’re a close second.