MY TONGUE IS A WEAPON

TWENTY SIX - 212 ASSASSIN AND I'M TALKING TO MYSELF AT NIGHT BECAUSE I CAN'T FORGET. BACK AND FORTH THROUGH MY MIND BEHIND A CIGARETTE.

[vijulie-blog]

“Usually when death occurs then you’re suppose to care, right?”

[altasher-blog]

“Sure, yeah. But I wouldn’t say examining the body is protocol.” 

[pompcms]

Jasmine sucked in a breath hearing those words, knowing that was true. Not many people held the same outlook she did. She was so insistent on seeing good, she needed to see it so badly that she could find it in anything. Yet, it wasn’t like that with him. She could easily find it in him, even before she knew he was the one who’d brought her in. He saw the worst in himself and it only made her see the good that much more. She just wished he’d open his mind to consider even a fraction of what she saw in him. Though, she couldn’t blame him– she couldn’t tell him who he was of course. That was never what she’d tried to do, but he made it seem like he was some kind of monster, she just wanted him to know the way she saw him. “What?” She asked, “What do you want?” Because she wanted to give that to him, whatever that was, that’s who she is.

She furrowed her brows when he told her to stop, because she didn’t want to. She felt like she’d gotten further than she has ever gotten with him. Now he was telling her to stop trusting him and she couldn’t. She didn’t know why she trusted him so much. He was right when you looked at the surface– he took lives, that was what he did again and again. She didn’t know why, and she had to be out of her right mind to trust him as easily as she did but it happened and it’d always been that way. He could think it was her mistake all he wanted to, but she thought the opposite and the way he was so insistent on shielding her from himself just made her trust him more. Made her believe that there had to be good in him somewhere. So as he held his hand on her chest the coo that left her lips was one that was pleased. The kiss though, the kiss was exactly what she’d expected all the times she’d glanced at his lips. It was rough and tense in the best way and she met him for all she had. “Stop treating me like I’m too fragile,” she whispered against his lips. echoing him telling her to stop. Her right hand found it’s way back to his hair, feeling his curls in her grip like she’d always thought it would be as her nails raked over his scalp. She was softer than him naturally, but not here– kiss was still full of want and uninhibited need that she couldn’t even care about trying to control. 

[altasher-blog]

A heavy frown of concentration caressed his features, turning his lips from soft in the way they cherished her porcelain skin to rougher in the way he near devoured the goosebumps that rose under his tongue as he ran it over her collarbone. He wanted to murmur the words ‘I want you’ against her lips, too, but he settled for a soft hum instead, intending to make her realise he wasn’t going to talk much anymore. He didn’t want her to talk; he wanted her to moan his name. He’d wanted her this way since he’d first seen her smile, he’d wanted her in a lot of ways since the day he first heard her voice – so sure of herself despite her fragile looking physique. He knew she was going to be trouble for him the first time she touched his skin – because it burned so hot and he craved that heat against his perpetually cold skin forever.

“You are fragile.” He murmured as his mouth opened against hers and his words muffled by the way he began to run his tongue along her lips until he found her tongue and let it tease along hers for a while. Though if she was to insist she wasn’t as fragile as she looked, as her words of proclaimed ‘good’ toward him didn’t imply she was as soft as a flower in contrast to his heavy hands, he would show her just how precarious he could be as he pressed his skin against hers. The way her nails dug into his skin forced him to mimic her touches with his own hands, his fingertips pressing into her hips until he found the movement enough to grab at the bottom of her shirt and quickly pull up and over her head with a quick toss to the floor where his lips found the unfamiliar ecstasy in the touch of her neck to his kiss and he wanted so much more than this, he needed to have her; he was selfish. “I want you.” His words trembled and came out low as his hands touched the newly revealed skin of the top of her back, his fingertips tucking under the strap of her bra quickly, unclasping it in a swift movement as it dropped to their feet and his large, rough hands found the porcelain skin of her tits which he held firmly as he lowered his kisses along with his touch and his teeth found her nipple – his body vulgar as he pressed her against the wall and near pinned her to it.

[pompcms]

Feeling his fingers brush over her skin, she took in a sharp breath. His touch was so distracting she found it so hard to argue what she always did. He did deserve better, no matter how bad he really was she’d always believe that. “Why not? You– you should have better,” she protested because she just couldn’t understand. She saw what Asher had to do, she saw that there was bad. She wasn’t blind, and she wasn’t going to ignore a part of him like that. She was just telling him what she saw, what she believed because she could see how he thought of himself. It killed her, to see him snuff out the light that she did see so easily. “I want you, Asher,” she repeated her words as she closed her eyes to feel the way his hands ran over her body, wanting to feel more. She didn’t know what she deserved, but she didn’t care.

Jasmine let out a hum at his lips moving over her skin, and her chest was rising and falling heavily now. Her other hand came up to his should, grabbing hold of the fabric as though she could pull him closer to her. That’s what she wanted, to be closer. She wanted him, but no just in this way, no. This was… This was the first time he’d touched her like this, though she’d wished he had many times before. She wanted him, him as in for him to let her in like she’d been pushing for since she first joined the gang. Like she’d been pushing for since she first saw the darkness that clouded the deep brown of his eyes. Her hand tightened on the hair she already had enclosed in her first, encouraging the way he pulled her closer and she could feel his body heat. She heard his words, and hated them. She trusted him and now he was telling her she shouldn’t even do that. She couldn’t see the good in him. She couldnt trust him. But she couldn’t help it, Jasmine believed what she believed, and it took so much then something like his words to change her mind. Instead she just let out a soft sound with the way his lips moved down on her neck, his lips still so much more delicate than she’d have ever expected. Coming from anyone else she’d have liked it differently, but from Asher… it was so unexpected, so soft for someone so harsh that she could get lost in it. But she didn’t get lost in it completely, his words still plaguing her. Her chest was still rising and falling visibly, she could’ve almost been embarrassed by what he was doing to her and he’d done so little.  But she refused to be anything but confident right now, otherwise she knew what he was saying, she knew it’d somehow swallow her up and she refused to give up and let him believe there was nothing but bad in him. So her hand covered his  where it lingered on her shoulder, the other finding his cheek in attempt to get him to meet her eyes.  "Don’t,“ she whispered, "don’t do that… I don’t see you the way you do.” Jasmine moved his hand to push the straps off her shoulder himself, moving slowly– making sure he felt her skin under his palm. “I trust you… please, let me,” she said moving his hand back so it sat above her sternum, urging him on almost. “I trust you.”

[altasher-blog]

“Nobody thinks of me the way you do.” He exulted, more of a recollection than a statement and that was obvious in the way his tone ended in an unsure way. It was true, nobody looked at him like she was right now – with such hope that he could be good and he wanted to be so badly. Though he shook his head and his touch found hesitance in the way her skin met his rough hands – but he felt as though he was connected to her like she was truly magnetic and he believed it. Her eyes shone so emerald in the moonlight and his gaze brushed over her soft and intense features and he knew his expression held the same intensity. “I want –“ He started and quickly swallowed his words as though they were a dangerous animal that he needed to control.

With the grip on his hair and her hand touching his he found his own heartbeat pumping so loudly that it thumped in his ears and he decided in that moment that it was her voice in whispers he’d prefer to hear over his own heartbeat. “Nobody sees me the way you do.” He added on as she kept speaking, and he shook his head as he met her gaze again and he swallowed the lump in his throat the moment he realised his hands were pulling her closer – unmercilessly. “Stop talking… stop trusting me.” He breathed as his hands moved again, slightly rougher but still meeting the gentleness he found in her eyes with his movements as he pushed her back up against the wall and he immediately took over where she held his hand to her chest and his hand smoothed firmly over her chest at the same time as the last syllable of her ‘I trust you’ passed her lips his own lips met with hers – quickly deep and passionate because he’d been waiting so long to taste the taste of her lips and it was clear now. “Shh.” He murmured against her lips, pushing up against her more than softly this time but still tenderly, which was more than he could say for the way his lips tangled against hers - carnal and full of what he wanted to say to her but he couldn’t.

[vijulie-blog]

’ my mother always said that I could get through life on my looks, who knew, she could be so right    ‘ she smiled happily, ‘ guess who was able to convince the man in charge of the morgue on letting me see the body of the boy who was murdered, gross I know, but it was worth it. ‘ 

[altasher-blog]

“That's - so messed up. Why does it even matter to you, anyway?” He frowned, crossing his arms across his chest.

[altasher-blog]

5ffsvcra:

           “woah!” within moments, vera’s hand swatted at the other person’s shoulder in a rather rough way. “SORRY. i’m sorry. you had a bug on your shoulder.” the girl gave the other a sheepish smile in addition to her apology.

“Well - hope the bugs okay.” He quipped amongst a sigh, offering her a quick nod of thanks as he turned his attention back to his phone.

[mckiinnons-blog]

“Do you happen to have a light on ya’? I can’t find mine anywhere, must be in my other bag,” Rosie mused, leaning against the wall of a cafe, barely even looking at the person who had waked by, “I was in such a rush this morning I forgot to grab one of my spares.”

[altasher-blog]

With a nod of his head, Asher dug into the pockets of his leather jacket until he found the silver lighter he’d engraved with many things over the years and tossed it over to her upon getting her attention. “Guess it’s your lucky day.” He murmured, glancing away.

[pompcms]

Jasmine didn’t shrink back and she didn’t look away as she looked at him closer than she ever had. With his hands on either side of her, pinning her between him and the door, she could feel her heart giving hard thuds while her eyes took in ever freckle. “You can have better,” she practically whispered because they were so close. They were close and he had that smirk on his lips– she wanted to guess she knew what it meant but for all the guessing she did about Asher, she didn’t know. Not really.

The way he put his hand on her cheek was surely a surprise. Not the way that his hands felt rough, but the way that his thumb smoothing over her skin felt soft. It only made her believe what she saw more as a breath was pushed from her lungs at the touch. “I see something in you,” she tried to explain, though there was a buzzing under her skin urging her to get closer. She didn’t dare though, standing still and breathing heavy because she was almost scared of scaring him off. Her eyes were their usual wide as he tilted her chin, though they were full of want. She could still smell his cigarette on his breath and his rough hand felt good as it found her hip; she wanted it. He told her he’d just be him; she wanted it. “I don’t care,” she said, coming out in a heavy sigh because of the way his lips felt against her skin– completely opposite of his harness. “Show me, I want you,” her voice was breathy, almost needy, as she whispered it and as her hand came to the back of his head, fingers pushing through the thick curls. A chill ran down her spine when she felt those words against her neck, her fingers curling into his hair. His hands felt so large and so much like she’d have imagined when they bracketed her hips. The grip made her want to move closer, not pressing herself against him completely– but it was like she could feel the buzzing in what little air was left between them. “Yes–  I trust you.”

[altasher-blog]

Asher simply hummed against her skin, the sound almost coming out without his intention because he’d longed for the ability to touch her for so long, but it seemed so wrong the whole time and it still was. “I can’t have better.” He argued in a hoarse whisper as his fingertips spread across her hipbones and the tips met with her skin that felt so warm under his cold touch. That was how it was though. She was heat, the sun; he was cold, and he wasn’t even resplendent enough to compare himself to the moon. Though with the way she still spoke words with such formidable truth in her voice he found himself questioning her, questioning whether he could ever possibly be a ‘good person’. “You shouldn’t want me.” He murmured, his voice low and hesitant because he wholeheartedly wanted her, too. “You deserve good, better.” He moved his hands up her sides, his calloused hands so much larger than her body as his hand held her by the small of her back, well aware of how much his lustful movements held such contradiction to his words of warning.

“You trust me?” He repeated, his lips titillating against her neck as he lowered his kisses at each word, she continued to speak and he could tell what he was doing was working as he heard her breathing – saw her breathing which each movement of her chest. His hands were hungry and voracious and a trembling reminder of how much he shouldn’t be doing this – but he was his own rebellion as he pulled her in close. His hands were firm around her back and his other hand swept back her hair from neck as he lowered his kisses, leaning back only slightly, “Trust me then – trust me when I say you shouldn’t trust me.” He breathed, his voice unnaturally quiet and his thoughts stood plagued with tension and her heat under his hand and his conscious mind telling him no, this wasn’t good, he was a monster and she was more than an angel but that didn’t stop his lips from caressing the space in the corner of her shoulder, his fingertips dangerously close to slipping the small strap of her shirt off her shoulder but it only lingered instead.

[altasher-blog]

               ASHER REEVES FUTURE MOODBOARD 3/?

[altasher-blog]

           ASHER REEVES ; INTERIOR MOODBOARD 2/?

[altasher-blog]

          ASHER REEVES ; EXTERIOR MOODBOARD 1/?

[pompcms]

Jasmine just shrugged at his words, she knew what he meant but she still wasn’t sure she’d change her choice. She had her family, they were all the family she felt like she’d been missing since she was fourteen. She’d be back on the streets without them. “I think I’d still be here even if there was,” she muttered, looking up at him.

Her place was small, just a studio– and even for that she had to dip into the inheritance she kept to herself– so it felt tight with Asher here, the conversation they were having felt bigger than the space could hold. Jasmine tried to think, his question so loaded she didn’t even know how to start to wrap her head around it. “Better things, good things–” she breathed out as he leaned over her, “if you let yourself.” She said looking up at him as she slipped her jacket off, having a feeling he didn’t. She had a feeling he labelled things good and bad and reject everything that didn’t fit with him in the ‘bad’ category. Jasmine shook her head when he asked who he could be. “You,” she answered simply. “I’m not telling you to change. I’m telling you I know there’s more than just… what you do. I know you don’t believe me but I can see it in you. Just–” she paused, licking her lips as she realized she was going on. her eyes searching his face and moving all the way down to his lips before her eyes met his– “be you,” she breathed out.

[altasher-blog]

He leaned over her, and his entire body told him to move away because he was a lion and she was a sheep. They wouldn’t mix well in any circumstances, but that didn’t stop his other hand that wasn’t pressed up against the door behind her shoulder from moving to the door near her hip, her warmth dangerously close to his hand. “I can’t be better than I already am.” He murmured, feeling his breath as it came out that only reminded him of how close he was standing to her right now, so what did he do? He closed the gap, moving in closer to her as his hand slowly moved from behind her head and his lips twitched with the same helpless smirk he’d been pushing away all night. Though this time he didn’t fight it away because he couldn’t, he was too close to her, he could smell her scent and feel her breath and it roused everything that might be good inside him just for her.  

He watched as she slipped her jacket off and his gaze scanned from her shoulders to her lips again, then back up at her eyes. “There’s not more to it, princess. I am who I am, I am what I do.” He breathed, his hand finally moving to her cheek where he let his thumb run along her jawbone as he watched her parted lips. “I will be me, but you won’t like it. I’m not who you think I am.” He coaxed, tilting her head slightly with his hand that was on her jaw as he brought his lips down – slowly and tenderly kissing the place under her ear where his hand had been while he moved it down to her hip instead, the other one that had been lingering on the wall finally meeting with the other side of her hip like it was a magnet. “Do you trust me?” He breathed against her skin before licking his lips to wet them and smoothing them along her neck as he gripped onto her hips firmly.

[rosexcooper]

“then why are you still here? am i that much fun to be around or are you really just that lonely?” erik responded, raising his eyebrows at the other male.

[altasher-blog]

“Lonely or not you’re fun to poke and prod.” He narrowed his gaze, clenching his thumb between his fists to control his temper. “Maybe you should go.”

[embrvs-deactivated20160614]

“skydiving? as in jumping out of a plane with a cloth attached to your back and hoping you don’t hit the ground hard enough to kill yourself? no thanks, dude.” embry shook his head. “and you’re saying i’m the person who has shitty ideas about fun.”

[altasher-blog]

“At least I’d die doing something I love.” He smirked, “You never know if my ideas are fun if you don’t give them a go.”

[rosexcooper]

erik didn’t move a muscle, knowing fully that this entire situation was beneath him. “what exactly is your position in the 212, again? are you just the guy that sits in the corner spouting a bunch of vague bullshit while everyone wishes you’d shut up?”

[altasher-blog]

With a roll of his eyes Asher brought his hands to settle against his chest instead of at the other male’s throat as he spoke, his jaw tensing up. “Maybe I am but my position doesn’t matter to you.”

[altasher-blog]

✉ SMS > ALL 212.

adrian: yes a job u dodo brain

adrian: okay, well you owe me peeps js

asher: did you just call me a dodo brain smh

asher: what job?

asher: and whateverr if i have to

[pompcms]

Jasmine looked back up to him, brows furrowing slightly as she wanted to ask why it was he was looking at her like that. She realized she didn’t hate it though and figured mentioning it would surely make him look away. Instead, she wondered, like always, trying to guess what was really going on inside that head of his. A small chortle left her at his expression, as she nodded her head animatedly. “It’s not working is it?” She asked, an open mouth grin showing all over her face as she pushed hair out of her face. A small smile remained even after that one had passed, she could still smell the smell of his cigarette mixing with his own scent. Not that she minded, she shared the bad habit, and she was used to that smell.

She watched him carefully as he took in her answer, already knowing he wouldn’t believe it though. She wondered briefly if he could believe it, even if he wanted to. She wanted to know how long he’d thought of himself this way. Was he different before the gang? Those were the kinds of things she wanted to know about him, not what she could tell he was about to tell her. She guessed beforehand, which is why she averted her eyes for a moment. Not because she didn’t want him to see her expression, but because she knew exactly which one she’d see written all over his face– an expression that rocked her heart in her chest.

What he said made her snap her gaze up to his again though– what he said making her swallow, hard. She understood what he was saying, she did but she’s seen things too. She guessed he didn’t know how much– she’s never talked about her two years living on the streets high out of her mind, didn’t talk about the life she’d taken when she was young. It was barely comparable to him but he didn’t need to protect her from all of that if all it really meant was protect her from himself. She’s seen darkness and still believed in the good because she chose to– she didn’t believe in good because she’s never seen bad things. “This was my choice Asher, I didn’t have to join 212. I wish I didn’t have to see some of this stuff too, I wish you didn’t have to do the things that you do, but life is shit. That doesn’t mean it can’t be good too,” she rambled on, a small smile on her lips as she looked at him. She wished she could show him how she saw things. She wished that she could break up that heavy sense of badness that she could see him carrying with him. Jasmine looked at the sidewalk as he tried to plead his case as to why he was bad. “That’s not who you are, Ash. I don’t believe that,” she said despite having asked to have asked him who he was she knew he wasn’t just murder. She knew that much. “And it doesn’t have to be all that you know, it doesn’t have to be…” she said quietly, keeping her eyes on him for a moment before she stopped, pulling her keys out of her purse, ushering him inside.

[altasher-blog]

He didn’t have to look at her to know what her expression held, because he knew he hadn’t given her the answer she wanted and it was a tiring game of back and forth because he only spoke the truth about what he knew. He knew who he was and what he did and he knew nothing about himself that made him any better than that. Sure, he wasn’t an entirely horrible person – he helped old ladies cross the street with their bags and he gave hefty tips with the money he did have – and sure, he might have even saved her life too, but that didn’t make him good. “I – I know it’s your choice, but sometimes there’s not a whole catalogue of choices for these types of thins, you know?” He murmured, reflecting on her further comment that life was shit, because most of the time it really was.

Though the smile on her lips seemed to pull him away from those thoughts quicker than anything else was ever able to, like she herself was some sort of medicine – a remedy for his memories. She hadn’t spoken to him yet and he hated the absence of her voice in the cool breeze, like a melody without lyrics. Though when he finally did hear her words the moment he glanced up at her house, he didn’t want to hear them simply because he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to tell her just how badly he knew himself to be because he’d run out of words and all she did was toss his loaded revelations aside with ease. He’d killed people almost weekly sometimes and she was telling him he could be a better person. So he was intrigued, he wanted to know how she thought he could be so good after so much bad.

“What else can I know, then?” He murmured, his jaw tensing as he moved into her house because he caught a somewhat overwhelming breeze mixed with her scent and it stirred something inside of him. As he watched her put her keys back into her purse, he closed the door behind her with one hand and leant against it – his gaze finally meeting hers again and his lips parted slightly because he was somewhat awestruck with the way the moonlight caressed her features and it was as though he’d never seen them before. “Who can I be?” He breathed, his voice slightly gravelly.

[altasher-blog]

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