Lonely Girl

Alyss Dunham | 21 | Undeclared Blogger Extraordinaire You got a lot of nerve and Looks like the tables turning And now you're wishing me well like you miss me Member of the NSLB Pact

[bajabenton-bnu-archive]

Oh sweetie, if you did have sex with him, you’d know why it wasn’t a one time thing. Besides, I’d never screw Brice… not even once, gross. 

[alyssdunham-blog]

No one wants to have sex with Brice... except for maybe Brice. Anyway!

[lord-nick-blog]

Well, I hope everything goes well for you.

[alyssdunham-blog]

You too, Charming. And if things don't work out with Snow White, you know where to find me.

[bajabenton-bnu-archive]

Oh, Nick. I can see the whole Prince Charming thing. He’s way too sassy, though. You do realize the “dead weight” you keep talking about is a Kappa right? 

[alyssdunham-blog]

Yeah but you only screw someone who knows way too much about poetry once. Like, I've had my fill. He can sit in the no corner with Dudebro Brice.

[lord-nick-blog]

Ah, good choice. Although I’m pretty sure New York isn’t ready for you yet. I hope you find another cute English boy or girl then, but you can’t call the guy Prince Charming. That stays with me.

[alyssdunham-blog]

Oh but that's the thing about being me, Charming. I can do whatever the fuck I want, because I'm a adult. New York probably isn't ready for this.

[bajabenton-bnu-archive]

I hate you for that. You gotta meet me halfway sometimes, though. Deal? The answer to that is yes, by the way. I don’t have anything I want to get out that I couldn’t before! I mean what exactly did you dream about? Were they like sexy dreams or like i died and you did a tap dance on my grave dreams? Well duh you would, I mean.. duh. Who is Prince Charming? And for the record, totally would have done you too. Guess we missed out on that, didn’t we?

[alyssdunham-blog]

The Kappa with the accent, or any of the Kappas really. Besides Brice. You know, you could ditch the dead weight and give me a proper send off.

[lord-nick-blog]

I’m pretty sure some of us wouldn’t have minded. Sounds exciting, where are you going?

[alyssdunham-blog]

New York, something about apples. And hopefully with more cute English boys and girls. A new life all thanks to the assholes who didn't even know their dumbfuckery would pay off for me in the end!

[bajabenton-bnu-archive]

Oh shit, New York City?! Why so fucking far? Damnit. But congrats on everything! I mean,you can always come out and crash with me and go to Comic Con. I mean, that’s worth coming back for at least, right? Oh you know I’ll visit because a night out in New York City? Count me in at least five times. And I’m going to ignore that last part because I’m going to miss that sass.

[alyssdunham-blog]

I'm not coming back, Baja. Me and this state had our run. 21 years of it. I wanna see other people! There's nothing worth coming back to that couldn't make the trip to me. Don't ignore it. This is the time to get out everything you couldn't before. Like I have no problem telling you that on a few occasions I had dreams in which you appeared. And I would have had sex with you too. Ohhhh you and Prince Charming at the same time. There's an idea.

[lord-nick-blog]

You’re right, I’ll rethink my surrounding friends. Maybe, maybe not. No regrets?

[alyssdunham-blog]

Besides not getting you and a select few other Kappas naked? Possibly at the same time? Nope. I'm good with how I lived my California life. Ready to pack it in and give the other coast a good scare.

[bajabenton-bnu-archive]

Boo you whore. Okay so tell me everything starting with where you’re going so I know where to buy a plane ticket to.

[alyssdunham-blog]

Moving to the poor side of New York City, because apparently if you work for some stations even doing blogging shit, you have to live there and go into an office. Not that I mind because it gets me out of California. Only thing I'll miss is Comic Con, but I hear New York has a pretty legit con too! Feel free to visit but leave your ball and chain at home, assuming you guy survive. I don't know how you having tossed that wet blanket yet. I miss my partner in skanky feminine crime.

[bnuharmony]

Replaceable is not what I’d ever describe you as. Sure, I’ll stop being sad, but I could never replace you.

[alyssdunham-blog]

Maybe replaceable was a bad word. I am kinda too weird to find a replacement for. Forgettable would have been more appropriate. But you know, I'll still be around the interwebs, and you can read the work I'll be doing and we can still talk. I'll always be here for any of those sex talks.

[bnuharmony]

It-It still sucks, I guess. I’ll miss being able to do this, just burst into your dorm.. you offering me an old McDonald’s bag to breathe in and out of. I hope you rock it though, all of it.

[alyssdunham-blog]

I'm so easily replaceable that you probably will only miss me for a week or two at most. Don't be sad, okay? This is awesome. Like the season 2 of my life. The sequel... if the sequel was better than the original. 

[bajabenton-bnu-archive]

Wait what? I’m sorry, did you just say you’re leaving? And so far away? No, you can’t do that!

[alyssdunham-blog]

I can and I am, it's going to be a ball. No school, living in an apartment that is probably the size of a shoe box with a few rats as roomies, doing my thing. A whole new pool of people to explore. This is going to be great!

[positivelynatalie]

Just because I got everything handed to me didn’t mean my parents did. I know I’m a spoiled bitch and I have no shame in the fact, but I’m not blind as to how money is made and how hard people work. Either way the people I have dinners with are at the top of NY and if you ever are a somebody because of your work we will see each other again. Looking forward to it Hammy. 

[alyssdunham-blog]

I'm going to take a second to recite back to you all the amazing points you just made. Ready?

[lord-nick-blog]

Prince charming? That’s a new one. Thank you, I’m flattered. 

[alyssdunham-blog]

You should hang out with people who play into your ego a bit more, if this is the first time you're hearing it. Flattered and now wondering about it, huh?

[bajabenton-bnu-archive]

I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so excited for summer….

[alyssdunham-blog]

Fuck summer. This is the excitement of starting a new life on the other side of the country, away from the bullshit that is California!

[bnuharmony]

[alyssdunham-blog]

Aw, baby girl. Don't be sad. I'm sure you'll come visit me sometime. I'd say I'd come visit but let's be real, I've been stuck here my entire life. This bitch aint coming back!

[positivelynatalie]

Am not, but ok. Well I guess you have no intentions of being successful in New York. Because that’s the circle I run in. 

[alyssdunham-blog]

"Success" does not equal "trust fund". Just so we're on the same page. Not to mention I highly doubt you notice the people who work for a living. But it's cute that you think you're "grounded".