PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

izzy's playlists!

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Show & Tell
wallacepolsom
h
taylor price
hello vonnie
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Stranger Things

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
$LAYYYTER

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KIROKAZE
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Three Goblin Art

Discoholic 🪩
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@alyxactually
"That's all I am. Just a regular human bartender."
Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)
MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck. Not bad luck. I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!
“See him face”
I sure fucking do see him face
Him face
Reblog him face for good luck in 2021
Reblog him face for good luck in 2021 (2)
Reblog him face for good luck in 2022
this is still some of the smoothest stealth combat gameplay i’ve ever seen in a fallout game and this madman is only level 5
“oh yeah, that’s good be a really good snipe-”
Same day book delivery
remote learning
Snippet from Rhys Darby’s I’m a Fighter Jet.
Notes: Be free to do transcribe :)
[Transcript:]
…And some of it is I think because we have a cat in our family, and I chose to have the cat. And here’s just one example of why she [my wife] thinks I’m odd - I’m not going to go into the Big List. Because, you know, it’s only a one hour show, and uh… she’s not here so let’s put it all on her.
[audience laughs]
But I’m guilty of one thing, and that’s calling my cat in a weird way, in a weird fashion. Is any cat people here tonight? People who love cats?
[some audience members cheer]
Good! Dogs?
[more audience members cheer, some whistle]
Alright! Calm down!
[audience laughs]
Cats! Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, we have a cat, I love cats and we bought a cat. And it’s up to me to look after it, because she [my wife] couldn’t- she’s not a big cat fan, but she’ll put up with it. So I get to call the cat in for dinner, and I’ve always loved cats and she thinks I call the cat in a weird fashion. And you can judge for yourself tonight, catties. Dogs? Shut the fuck up.
[audience laughs]
I’m on the front door step calling the cat, and this is how I call the cat in, and it’s very normal to me. It’s like this:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWUDIWUDIWUDIWUDIWUDIWUDIWUDIWUDIWUDI!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBUUPBUUPBUUPBUUPBUUBUUPBUUPBUUPBUUPBUUPBUUPBUUP!!!! RAHTEEYAH!!
[audience laughs]
And every time I do it, my wife Rosie comes through: “Oh! Why??? It’s fuckin’ embarrassing! The guy across the road always opens his curtains and has a good fuckin’ stare at cha! What about Here, Pusspuss? What?? are you doing???“
And I’m like: “You don’t know, you don’t know. I’m connected with cats, alright? I’m practically a cat! I mean, the guy across the road’s looking ‘cause he- he’s getting a cat soon and he wants to learn how to do it!”
[audience laughs]
“That’s how you call a cat! It’s important, let me show you. You don’t understand, okay? Cats, you gotta start off with the:”
HEEEE!!!
“That’s the frequency they work at! It’s a very- that’s the Cat Frequency!”
EEEEEEE!!!
“I mean, they hear that, no matter where they are in the neighborhood their fuckin’ ears prick up!”
EEE!!
Oh shit here we go!! Someone’s calling!
“Alright, that’s the first bit.”
WUDIWUDIWUDIWUDIWUDIWUDIWUDIWUDIWUDI!!
“That is the direction modulator, alright? So once-”
[audience laughs, rhys wheezes]
She’s like: “What???”
“Ju-Just trust me! Once the ears are pricked up-”
WUDIWUDIWUDIWUDI!!
“You can tell where it’s coming from with that, you see? It directs you.” Heheh. “And then-”
PUUPPUUPPUUPPUUPPUUPPUUP’s ..puuppuupuup’s…
“That’s the meal type! Puuppuup’s is dinner, okay? Makamaka is breakfast. It’s a whole thing. It’s an ancient Egyptian language that they speak! Cats are from the underworld. Doesn’t matter, you don’t know.”
BUUPBUUPBUUPBUUPBUUP!!
“And then-”
RAHTEEYAH!!
“That’s the name of the cat! To distinguish him from the others! So he’s like: Ears prick up! Direction modulator! Oop, it’s dinner! And then… that’s me!!! It’s fuckin’ me!!!”
[audience claps and cheers]
Yeah!
You just, but honestly, if I could be small and cute instead of tall and masculine, I would be.
this scene is so fucking funny the english dub of this show is so good
loud warning
transphobic cis cunties: why would you poison your body with testosterone and mutilate your perfect female form and frankenstein a phallus together that will never work or function like a Real Man’s penis
my cock after bottom surgery:
vengabus sandstorm
wow that really sounds
wow that really sounds
“Is that all you’ve got?”
“We asked them to bring the most impressive stolen item.”
I have absolutely no idea what this is from or any context whatsoever, but I cannot stop laughing
This is from Taskmaster, a British gameshow of absolute, wonderful nonsense. Big recommend.
Tigers, tigers!
we hate crypto