Phandom Member #38812

||Salutations! My name is Lia and welcome to my blog!|| ||💓 Literal Trash 💓|| ||Female/In-A-TrashCan|| |-/ I love Mikey Way and Ryan Ross.

[shitposts-for-days]

No context @

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

this blog is ded

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

Me and my friends all had glasses and we noticed that our glasses were all different. Marielle's glasses was made out of plastic, Francine's glasses were made out of metal, and mine was made out of plastic and metal. So I pointed at Marielle's glasses and said "Non-metal", and then I pointed at Francine's glasses and said "Metal", and pointed at mine and said "Metalloid". And boom. I just applied our science lesson in real life.

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

we had to make a letter for our values education so I made one for quiet-senpai and it’s a casual friendly letter but at the back, I put a code that means “I like you”. it was really easy to decode. I passed the letter and then sir called quiet-senpai’s name to give him the letter that I made. everyone was calling my name as if they knew (though, it was a joke, but I gave it away for hiding my face). while quiet-senpai is reading it, he hid behind a curtain and his friend and my friend we’re calling him out and saying that he was blushing. and I wrote that I was pretty ugly in that letter and he pointed out to my friend that it was wrong c:

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

we have to make a project that centers around christmas quotes and now i’m searching for some emo christmas songs because why not?

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

MY CRUSH KNOWS MCR I’M GONNA MARRY HIM BYE

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

i love ryan ross so much

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

Okay. I can freely say that you're now my favourite blog. It's so sweet, it makes you smile! Good luck with your senpai. And actually, would you mind if I screenshoted some of your posts and send it to my friend who doesn't have Tumblr? She has recently found a senpai too and is kinda nervous... I want to cheer her up and show her that she shouldn't lost her hope!

Thank you! And I wouldn't mind if you send it to your friend c:

[salutations-to-the-local-drimer]

New Perspective

The first love story a person will every encounter is their parent’s. It will shape up their perspective of love, their perception.

Having divorced parents, she saw no reason to believe in love. But later on, his father found someone else. But instead of bringing him happiness and joy, it has only cause him heartbreak. She looked at her father with sympathy as he tried to pick up the broken pieces and tried to reassemble it, but it only hurt him. The cuts will inevitably heal, but a scar that will never fade away would stay and remind him of the pain that he once sustained.

“It’s not worth it,” she told her father. “You will never find peace with her, she’ll love you to ruins,” she continued. “In life, do not find peace. Find passion. Find something you want to die for more than something you want to live for. I may not find peace with her, but there will be no greater passion,” her father replied.

“Our story might be twisted and messy. Flawed and screwed up. But it’s ours, it’s us,” her father said. “You’ve drowned all of your sense with the sound of your heart’s beating,” she replied, bitterly. Her father sighed. “They say marrying at twenty is like leaving the party early, but think of it this way, at least you get to walk out of that part with your most favorite person. Relationships demand sacrifice. You might get hurt along the way, but love is about finding the person you’d be willing to go through all of that for,” he said.

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

Our school’s Intramurals was today and while I was watching the other students play volleyball, I heard a g-note and I kind of panicked and I was like “could it be?!?!” and yEP, THEY WERE PLAYING WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE. MY EMO HEART 

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

She tried to sugar coat her words and fed it to me and I gladly swallowed it.

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

wow i’m such a horrible person i always neglect my tumblr blog

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

me and my mom just had a conversation about what happens if a poison goes past its expiration date, like would it be more poisonous or would it be harmless?

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

i want food

[salutations-to-the-local-drimer]

I Won’t Fall In Love With Falling (Holding Onto Silly Things) -R.R.

Description:  “This is a love story. Twisted and messy. Flawed and screwed up. But it’s ours. It’s us. I don’t know how our story will end. but I know it will start.”

A/N: Once again, no one really asked for this, but I really need to vent (again). But I hope you enjoy this fic anyways. The names were switched up, of course. 3,138 words, here we go!

Y/N=Your Name, L/N=(Your) Last Name, POV=Point Of View

How do you know when to stop hoping for something to happen between you?

Or when to stop hoping for him to make the first move?

When you feel emotionally drained?

Or when you feel like you’ve been used for entertainment?

I do admit, it has always felt like my feelings were forced. I didn’t give in to the gut feeling that my brain forced my heart to like him because, well, I craved the feeling of admiring someone.

I no longer want to feel like I lied to myself. I no longer want to feel like I forced someone in to my life.

I no longer understand, nor know, what I feel for him. What I feel whenever his name was brought up to the conversation, what I feel whenever he enters the room.

My friends tell me, “maybe it’s love”. But how do you truly know when you’re in love with someone? When you let them break down your walls? Or when you’re willing to sacrifice anything or even everything for them? Or do you just– know?

I feel like I was only fond with what it had been and what it could have been –the memories and the possibilities– more so than the person who was standing right in front of me.

If he ever did stand in front of me.

He never really had the courage to make a conversation with me. I sometimes catch him staring at me, but that was it. What was stopping him? Was it really that hard to talk to me?

What was weird, though, is that lately, I catch him staring at me more frequently. We would stare at each other for a few seconds, up until I break the interaction and look away.

I love everything about him. I love his hazel eyes and how it sparkles in the light. I love his cute smile. I love his little laugh. I love his deep but somehow gentle voice, almost like he feels that he could break you if he spoke too loud. I love his respect and chivalry and how he would open doors for me and refuse to talk about things that may make me feel uncomfortable.

I hate everything about him. I hate his eyes and how I would always get lost in it. I hate his cute smile that makes me fall in love with him all over again. I hate his laugh and how contagious it is. I hate his voice and how it really soothes me. I hate how he’s such a gentleman and how I love him so much for being so.

I hate how it feels like he’s avoiding me. I hate how everyone makes it seem like I’m desperate for him.

And I hate how he’s part of that “everyone”.

When you feel a “spark” upon skin to skin contact, it supposedly means that you’re destined for one another. You see, I felt a spark when I first shook hands with him. Maybe we are destined for each other. Or maybe we were destined for each other.

Maybe something happened or we did something that might’ve changed our fate. Or maybe we’re still destined for one another. This whole thing freaks me out so much. I’ve never felt anything like this before. I really don’t understand and it’s eventually going to make me insane. I hate this feeling. I want to end it.

You know, I was certain that my mind was the one who’s telling me to like him, but now, I feel like it was my heart all along, that my feelings for him were real. I hate this feeling. I want to end it.

I believe that one day, the right guy for me will come. The guy that would treat me how I deserve to be treated. Because this thing with him has, so far, only brought me pain. But I still can’t bring myself to distance me from him. I hate this feeling. I want to end it.

Ryan Ross. The man that made me feel like I was in heaven, but also the man that brought me so much pain and suffering.

It started with a game of truth or dare.

The dancers were practicing their routine for the “Acquaintance Party”, while the others were just foolin’ around, doing things that would entertain them.

I had nothing to do, so what I did was go to the front of the classroom and hangout with my friend that was already there.

Then, Ryan’s friend, Brendon, asked me if I had a crush on Ryan and I responded with “why’d you ask?”

“He likes you,” Brendon responded.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

Brendon hummed a “yes” and called Ryan to sit with us.

At first, Ryan didn’t want to and my friend called out that he was blushing or something. He later agreed on sitting with us and we all decided to play a game of truth or dare.

First, they dared us to shake hands and I swore I felt a “spark” when we did. It was weird.

Then later on, Brendon dared Ryan to ask my other friend out to go with him to the “Acquaintance Party”, but Ryan didn’t want to. He said he didn’t want to go out with anyone to the “Acquaintance Party” and wasn’t interested on my friend.

I involuntarily coughed and I started blushing really hard and started laughing at what I did. It’s like I wasn’t in control of my body anymore. My body was no longer controlled by my brain but my heart.

“Wait I have a better idea,” Brendon suddenly lit up.

And like a psychic, my friend quickly understood where Brendon was getting at and excitedly cut in.

“You should ask Y/N to go to the “Acquaintance Party” with you!” My friend said to Ryan.

And by the time that Ryan was sat in front of me, the whole class was watching. All the dancers stopped practicing their routine and everyone stopped what they were doing.

He tapped my leg, and my heart started beating so fast, it could run a mile in 10 seconds.

“Can you be my partner at the “Acquaintance Party”?” He asked.

I would be lying if I told you that I didn’t scream internally. I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach and I couldn’t stop the smile that was growing on my face. It’s not like he asked me to be his girlfriend or anything, but at that moment, it felt like he just did. It was silly.

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

The whole class screamed and freaked out because of what had happened.

I felt a blush creep onto my cheek and I glanced at Ryan to see him backing away for a bit, quite awkwardly may I add. He tried to hide his smile, but even with all his efforts, I still noticed it.

We were basically the school’s star couple. Everyone shipped us. Why?

There was that one time in history class when we were passing balls and when the music stops, the one who last touched the ball must answer a question. When you answer the question wrong, you must remain standing. When you answer the question right, you get to pick a person that was standing and allow them to sit down.

We arranged our chairs into the shape of a circle and started passing the ball to one another.

The music stopped, and I was still holding the ball. 

I cursed under my breath and stood up from my seat, still holding the ball.

“What is the study of the physical features of the earth and its atmosphere, and of human activity as it affects and is affected by these, including the distribution of populations and resources, land use, and industries?” She asked.

Fuck, I’m stupid.

Everyone was staring at me and it was so overwhelming. My mind was screaming “geography” but I didn’t want to say it in case I was wrong. I really don’t want to get laughed at.

“U-um, I don’t know the answer, ma’am,” I said, sheepishly.

“Okay, remain standing,” she said.

She started the music again and everyone was screaming “pass it to Ryan!”.

And they did.

“Those little fuckers,” I muttered under my breath.

Ryan stood up and smiled at me.

“What is the study of the physical features of the earth and its atmosphere, and of human activity as it affects and is affected by these, including the distribution of populations and resources, land use, and industries?” She repeated the question to him.

“Geography,” he answered.

“Correct,” the teacher said.

“Who do you want to be allowed to sit down?” the teacher asked him.

There were only a few people who was standing up alongside me, all of us were from the pageant practice, so it was acceptable that we didn’t know anything about the questions that were being fired at us.

Among all of the people, Ryan pointed at me.

I blushed and I notice that Ryan’s cheeks were red, too.

Everybody started screaming and chanted our ship name.

I would be lying if I said I hated it.

Also, Brendon would always say sexual jokes to me. Ryan would always shut him up so I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.

Brendon would also always steal my ball when I’m playing basketball. Ryan always tells him to give it back to me.

I would always blush when he does that.

And the list goes on to why they ship us. And as that list grows, the list on to why I held on to whatever we were grows alongside it.

The days went on quickly and the day of the “Acquaintance Party” was slowly creeping up on us.

It was the day before the “Acquaintance Party”. It was Friday. The contestants were just lounging around the gymnasium, waiting for the Student Council to finish decorating.

Me and my friend, who was also a contestant, were sat on the bleachers. We were soon accompanied by our other classmates who wanted to support us and watch our routine.

Ryan and his friends were there, too.

Ryan nudged Keltie, and Keltie grinned at him and they started a petty “fight”.

I felt a pang of jealousy and I actually wanted to vomit.

I told my friend about it and she told me that Ryan and Keltie are just really close friends.

“Nothing more than friends,” she said.

I still pouted at her.

“Why? Are you jealous?” she started.

“Why? Do you even have a right to be jealous? It’s not like you own him or anything…” she continued, hiding her mischievous grin.

I slapped her in the face.

A few hours later, we were still in school even though class was dismissed an hour and a half ago. The contestants who were going to be joining the pageant were asked to stay and here we are at the gymnasium’s stage, practicing our routine.

Most of the decorations were hanged up, white flowers on branches lined the gymnasium’s gate. Two white pillars were adjacent to the speaker’s lectern. The school’s initials that were on the middle of the stage was now outside the gymnasium, near the gate. Paper flowers covered the whole stage and a podium were set so the contestants can go up on it and pose, just like a real pageant.

The dancers performed their dance routine and after that, it was our turn to perform ours.

We did our routine and then went up the podium and posed there. At this point, my feet were killing me and my cheeks hurt from smiling.

We were practicing our question and answer portion when I saw two familiar boys sat down on the bleachers. 

It was Ryan and Brendon.

Moments later, it was Keltie’s turn to practice her part.

Keltie strutted her way to the front of the stage and pretended to answer a question, just like we were meant to do.

Ryan and Brendon caught my attention again. Ryan was staring at Keltie. Brendon nudged him and Ryan blushed and smiled, not taking his attention away from Keltie.

I felt a pang of jealousy and I hated it.

I remembered what my friend said: “Do you even have a right to be jealous? It’s not like you own him or anything…”

She was right. I don’t own him. There was never an “us”.

But I want there to be an “us”.

The rest of the day was a blur and before I know it, the sun has risen and it was the day of the “Acquaintance Party.”

I was doing nothing in particular when I heard my phone go off.

One message from Ryan Ross.

I felt my heart skip a beat.

I hurriedly typed in my password and opened his message.

“Are you ready for later?” -1:56 pm

I typed in a reply and hit send.

“Nope.😅” -1:56 pm

“Same.” -1:58 pm

“What time are you going to school?” -1:58 pm

“4:00 pm, we still have to practice.” -2:00 pm

“That’s so early XD.” -2:01 pm

“I’m super frickin’ nervous.” -2:01 pm

“Did they already give the questions?” -2:04 pm

“Yeah, but I’m too lazy to prepare my answers.” -2:04 pm

“Lol. I’m dead.” -2:04 pm

“Lol.” -2:04 pm

“You can do it!” -2:05 pm

“I want you to scream really loud when I’m the one who’s going to pose on the stage. XD” -2:05 pm

“WOOOH GOO Y/NNN” -2:06 pm

“Is that what I’m supposed to do? 😂” -2:06 pm

“Yeah XD.” -2:06 pm

“I’m just gonna play some games with Brendon. Byee.” -2:07 pm

“Baii.” -2:07 pm

I screamed out loud.

“WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!”

“WHAT IS HE TRYING TO DO TO ME?!”

I had so many questions for him that I knew were never gonna be answered.

Time went by quickly. I got dressed, went to school. Did the pageant. Didn’t won as expected. But I was still smiling.

The whole campus was dark. Except for the gymnasium

The gymnasium had so many lights and it was the most alive as it has ever been. Music was blasting through the speakers and all the students were dancing and having fun.

Me and my friends were in one corner of the gymnasium, dancing along to whatever song was on, bobbing our heads to the beat.

All was well until they played a slow song.

All of my friends called all our nearby classmates and asked them where Ryan was.

They finally found him and dragged him to me.

I felt really awkward, and I’m pretty sure my face was as red as a tomato.

Ryan put his hands on my waist, and I put mine on his shoulders.

I really don’t know what I was supposed to do and that made me feel even more awkward.

The whole night was spent like this. Me and Ryan would dance every time a slow song goes on, but we only dance for a few minutes, before I couldn’t take the awkwardness anymore and break away.

And by awkwardness, I meant the butterflies on my stomach.

And before I know it, the night was slowly coming to an end.

Me and Ryan slow danced one last time. This time, even longer.

We just slowly spun in a circle, and I couldn’t really look at him or the butterflies would get even worse.

He even gave me chocolate that night.

Even though I didn’t win the pageant and my feet hurt really badly all night, it was still the best night of my life.

And Ryan was the reason why.

That was the last time me and Ryan really had a proper interaction.

After that, he just pretended that I didn’t exist. When I’m with my friend, and my friend would ask him a question, he would always avoid my gaze.

I sat down on my seat quietly. I let out a loud sigh as my friend sat next to me.

“You know what? I’ll just ask him right now,” she suddenly said.

“W-what?” I said, dazed.

“Just wait here,” she assured me.

I already know what she was pointing out. She was going to ask Ryan if he likes me.

She went to Ryan and his friends, who were playing chess.

She went back to where I was sat and told me his answer.

“He said no,” she said.

You could hear a hint of sadness on her voice.

I sighed as I sat down on the bench in front of the cafeteria.

“I don’t want to feel like this anymore, I don’t want to be associated with him any longer,” I told my friend.

“You don’t want to be associated with him anymore. But what if he still wants to?” she answered.

I didn’t know what to say.

Once our lunch was over, I went back to our classroom and sat down on my seat quietly.

My seatmate tapped my shoulder

“Hmm?” I hummed.

“You know, I once asked Ryan if he has a crush on you and he said ‘no’ and that he was only playing along with this whole thing,” my seatmate said.

I gritted my teeth.

“Did I fucking ask?” I responded, rudely.

I wanted to fucking punch my seatmate in the face.

I abruptly stood up and went to the girl’s bathroom.

I put my hands on the sink and looked at myself in the mirror.

Is it better if I never knew?

Or is it better to be hit with the sad truth?

I’ve always knew that he didn’t liked me, but I guess I didn’t really want my suspicion to be confirmed.

I’m tried of this Ryan bullshit.

The next few days were spent by me trying to focus on my studies. I desperately tried to ignore and distance myself from Ryan, but it only left my heart aching.

I sat down next to one of my friend’s seat and chatted with him. My other two friends later joined and we talked about nothing in particular.

But of course, the topic later turned into Ryan.

“Do you have a crush on him?” one of my friends asked.

“Ugh, no,” I responded bitterly.

“What?!” my other friend exclaimed.

“He doesn’t like me, anyways,” I pouted.

“You can ask him yourself,” I said.

My friend went up to Ryan and asked him the question. Then, he went back to where we were sat.

“He said yes.”

“W-what?” I asked in disbelief.

Then, something clicked. He and Ryan are really close so that means Ryan could’ve had no doubt and had no trouble telling him.

“He likes you, Y/N.”

I didn’t know whether or not to believe him.

I asked my heart, “should I?”

And it responded with “you should.”

So I did.

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

To Prove That I Was Born Emo:

My Chemical Romance’s 2nd album, “Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge”, was released at June 8, 2004. Exactly a month before I was born.

Twenty One Pilot’s 2nd album, “Regional at Best”, was released on July 8, 2011, on my 7th birthday.

Ryan Ross was active for 6 years before he took a break.

7 + 6 = 13

Ryan Ross also started his solo project in 2013.

Twenty One Pilot’s album, “Vessel”, was released on January 8, 2013. Exactly 6 months before my birthday. 

Panic! at the Disco’s album, “Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die!”, was released on October 8, 2013. Exactly 3 months after my birthday.

6 - 3 = 3. 3 = March.

I turned 9 on 2013.

March 9.

Exactly a month before Gerard Way’s birthday.

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

i don’t know why i did this.

i guess this is what i would do to prove a point.

and that point is that i’m emo as fuck and i was born that way.

iT’s nOt A pHaSe mOm!!1

[amazingtrashcanisnotonfire]

To Prove That I Was Born Emo:

My Chemical Romance’s 2nd album, “Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge”, was released at June 8, 2004. Exactly a month before I was born.

Twenty One Pilot’s 2nd album, “Regional at Best”, was released on July 8, 2011, on my 7th birthday.

Ryan Ross was active for 6 years before he took a break.

7 + 6 = 13

Ryan Ross also started his solo project in 2013.

Twenty One Pilot’s album, “Vessel”, was released on January 8, 2013. Exactly 6 months before my birthday. 

Panic! at the Disco’s album, “Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die!”, was released on October 8, 2013. Exactly 3 months after my birthday.

6 - 3 = 3. 3 = March.

I turned 9 on 2013.

March 9.

Exactly a month before Gerard Way’s birthday.