amore de mi vida

choose love

[amberjazmyn]

navigation ❈💌

about me amber. she/her. australian italian. twenty-three. first aider. music and film lover. can probs never shut up about f1, stranger things, westlife, harry potter and djo.

reqs: open f1 masterlist stranger things masterlist westlife masterlist harry potter masterlist inbox guidelines

[amberjazmyn]

a little too late

pairing : fred weasley x fem!reader

summary : on your wedding day to your muggle husband, your best friend fred weasley waited a little too late to tell you he was in love with you...

warnings : unrequited love, wedding, tears, waiting too late 

a/n : this was not originally written by me so credit goes to its original owner but this is my version of it. i have given the reader a name, which is ophelia when 'y.n' is mentioned. 

it's the biggest day of your life. you're finally getting married to the love of your life. 

the one who loved you for you. not as the witch that everyone knew you at hogwarts. who loved every inch and part of you. who shared many memories with you. the one whom you were sure to spend the rest of your life with. 

you and your muggle partner have finally exchanged your vows and rings. the night was still young and the now-married couple was about to share their first dance of the evening. your partner takes your hand ever so delicately and guides you to the dance floor. suddenly "do the hippogriff" by the wizard band, the weird sister's starts playing. your eyes widen, you hadn't heard this song since your sixth year at hogwarts. since leaving the wizarding world and involving yourself with the muggles, you swore to stay right away from everything magical.

your now-husband holds you gently in his arms as you begin to panic. sure, he thought the song playing was weird and not one of the songs you included in the playlist but, he couldn't lie, the song was damn catchy. and it seemed as though the rest of the muggle attendees also didn't bat an eyelid.

that was when you started to relax, only to realise as you peak over your husband's shoulder, your old wizarding friends had made it to your muggle wedding. but one very important male friend made his way to the dance floor, mimicking the hippogriff dance.

your eyes grew wide. you weren't expecting your wizarding friends, but specifically, fred weasley to show up so suddenly at your muggle wedding. you hadn't seen him in a while because he was busy back in the wizarding world, which you left. of course, he was the one who had to let you know that he wouldn't be able to show up on your big day.

fred flashes a smile at you as you feel tears starting to form in your eyes. you missed him like crazy and whilst it did make you nervous that the wizarding and muggle worlds were colliding, you were so happy to see him.  

you and your husband keep on dancing as the guests watch you both dance the night away. your husband was having a good time, knowing that he's now going to spend his whole life with you. he couldn't stop smiling at you and you would smile back at him. you both turned your attention to the stage and watched the moshpit, the one that fred and the rest of your wizarding friends had started. the song was slowly reaching an end and fred slowly stopped dancing.

you and fred locked eyes and as he ended his dance move, you could've felt something erupting inside of you. he lowered his gaze and let the rest of the wizarding gang continue the dance until the songs ending . the song finally came to an end and the guests cheered and applauded for the strange band. the band politely thanked the crowd and slowly the other couples gathered on the dance floor to slow dance with their lovers. you continued to dance with your man, ignoring this foreign feeling you were feeling inside of you. the look fred gave you felt familiar but you thought it was wrong to think about it when you were dancing with your husband. 

"may i share this dance with ophelia?" 

you turn around to find fred, standing with his right hand out, waiting for your husband to let you dance with your best friend. your partner nods and smiles as he pats fred's back. your husband didn't recognise him but it was clear the way he noticed you looking at him that he was an important person to you. he hands your hand to fred and goes to share a dance with his mother. you're now all alone with fred as he held you close to him. you breathe in his familiar scent as you gently close your eyes. you definitely missed this smell of his. the smell of fireworks, the burrow and cinnamon. you lift your head to look at him, and he was already staring down at you. an innocent blush crept down on your cheeks. 

"missed me?" he asked with his voice hoarse from his wonderful dancing. oh, how you missed the sound of his voice too. 

you nodded and smiled at him. "i'm glad you and the gang were able to make it in time. thank you fred." 

he spun you around and held you tightly enough. you laid your head on his chest, feeling a huge wave of comfort washing over you. something you've never felt but definitely craved for it. you felt secure in his arms. he calmly hummed to the classical muggle music playing in the back as he rested his chin on top of your head, careful to not ruin your wedding hairstyle.

you closed your eyes and could hear his heartbeat. you realised how your heartbeat matched his and you found yourself smiling. this foreign feeling you felt earlier came back and you only felt butterflies going sideways inside of you. you looked up to him once again and you both stared at one another's eyes for what felt like hours. his eyes looked like they wanted to tell you something but you couldn't figure out what. 

fred spoke up, breaking the silence lingering between you. "ophelia, i have something to tell y-" 

was the only thing he was able to say before your husband came, asking fred if he could have you back so he could share one more dance with you. fred smiled politely and handed your hand to your partner. your eyes followed fred's and you found yourself in your man's arm as you watched fred slowly walking away. 

"you okay there, love?" your husband asked as you rested your chin on his shoulder, staring at your almost gone best friend. 

you nodded silently as tears rolled down your cheeks. you tried to not make a sound as your heart broke in many pieces. fred was long gone from your vision and you felt loneliness creeping in. you didn't feel safe in your man's arms just like how you felt in fred's. you knew it was too late for being honest about how you truly felt about him...

all these years, you've ignored your feelings for fred because you knew he wanted something else in life which was to continue to work in his jokeshop after the second wizarding war, staying in the wizarding world. whereas you didn't, you wanted to escape it, even with the knowledge that the evil was gone, your trust in the wizarding world never felt the same again. so, you left and moved to muggle london where you found your now muggle husband and created a whole new life, never letting anyone know of your true secret as a witch.

on the other hand, fred loved you to the moon and back but he knew it was already too late for him to confess his true feelings. he had to let you go because his happiness was yours. he knew you were happy with the life you were about to live as a newly wedded woman in muggle london. he wish things turned out different so you could've been his and not a stranger's. he thought telling you how he felt on your wedding day would've been perfect but he didn't want to be a home wrecker so he knew better. as he walked out of the venue, his heart broke in a million of pieces as he cried uncontrollably. he got into the muggle loan car and drove off, somewhere far where he knew he won't see you ever again...

fin

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2026

[amberjazmyn]

the new normal (part ii tmb ttnwm)

pairing : fred weasley x fem!reader

summary : it's been one year since the battle of hogwarts and since the weasleys and grangers lost their daughter, sister and girlfriend. this follows fred's life now after the loss of elena as he is now in a solid relationship with celine, elena's twin sister and hermione's older sister.

warnings : potential battle of hogwarts mention, canon divergence, falling in love again, mentions of grief and loss

a/n : of course i had to rewrite the part two of this fic so please enjoy.

one year later | fred's pov

it was now a year later since that day that celine and i kissed one another and since the battle of hogwarts where our beautiful elena lost her life. celine and i were now an exclusive couple living together in a sweet little cottage not too far away from the weasley joke shop that myself, george and ron run. and this has been the new normal for us since elena's death and honestly, it's not been as awful as either of us expected it or thought it would have been,

of course, celine and i still experience horrific nightmares and agonizing grief over elena and the battle of hogwarts but they are now very much few and far between these days. however, it doesn't cause any arguments or destroys our relationship. right now, it was coming up to our first christmas without elena and honestly, this had been my bigget fear the entire year. the fact that celine and i had to go back to visit our families for our first christmas without elena. everyone that's been through grief, which is now everyone we went to hogwarts with, has always said that all the "firsts" without your lost loved one is always the worst.

and it was clear that celine recognised that since it was her own twin sister and has since tried her hardest to make this years christmas and visit to our families special even though it'd still be hell for her. and it's been so sweet seeing all the things that celine has done for me during this difficult time that she shouldn't be doing ever since halloween finished and holiday season started to roll around. even though it should be me making celine's first christmas without her twin sister easier, she was adamant that it needed to be her doing this otherwise she'd feel the worst guilt imaginable so i let her. the grief enveloping me as though i was their old friend.

so, for these last two months, since the first of november, celine has done everything possible to ease the agony and pain. and, i can't lie, she's done a wonderful job and i don't think i could ever repay celine for doing that. even though i was only her twin sister's boyfriend for a short time, she still understood my grief. knowing that if it was the other way around i'd be doing the same exact thing. it was now that i was realising that it was never elena that was my true love at first sight, it had always been celine. except, i was too scared to even go near it as elena was just always around. not that i didn't love elena because i loved her dearly but i think it was obvious as i spent my last moments with her that i had to go after my true love who was celine. 

it was just heartwrenching that it had to be realised whilst i held elena as she tragically died during the wizarding war. remembering a letter i later found that she had written to me telling me that she always knew that i loved celine more than her and that, she felt bad for taking those moments away from her sister. and it was reading that final letter that made it easier to start this relationship with celine because we knew that elena had wanted it to happen.

"...babe, you know i love you, right?" i muttered, my arms draping over celine's as she makes us dinner in the old apartment above the joke shop as she giggles

"yeah, i know you love me. what's started this up my darling? this doesn't just come out of nowhere..." celine turns around, the mashed potato ignored for now as i tried to seem as relaxed as possible

"...ahh, no reason, i just wanted to let you know since i feel like i just haven't told you enough lately..." i trailed off as celine sighed, her hands grabbing mine and holding them tightly, knowing i was such a shitty liar

"...one, freddie, my love, you've told me plenty of times recently how much you love me and two, what's actually going on. and i want the truth because in case you've forgotten mr weasley, you are the shittiest liar i've ever known in my entire life *giggles*. so, what's bothering you? the fact that we're staying in you and elena's old apartment above the joke shop?" celine sighed as she giggles as i can't help but smile as i heavily sigh

"just...i feel guilty for all the times i've gotten upset over your sister because i feel as though it makes you insecure and that i may have actually loved elena more than i love you..."i trailed off as celine gave me a look i didn't know how to describe but it wasn't a look i was seeing for the first time either

"...darling boy, please don't feel guilty for missing elena. i miss her all the time, every single day. i mean, it's a good thing since she's my twin sister and i never thought i'd imagine myself being able to survive on this earth without her *giggles*..."

"...but, it's crazy that you think it makes me feel insecure when i see and hear you get upset over missing her, especially when we are in your guys' old apartment, it's understandable you feel that way. but, guess what, it doesn't at all make me feel insecure. i'm actually glad that you still miss elena and that you haven't forgotten about her but that it's not the foundation of our relationship otherwise that's not healthy..." she pauses as she grabs a hold of my hands as i nod my head as she continues

"...i'm glad that you have it in you to love me like you do and it's an honour to be loved by you fred. even when you and elena were dating and i had my stupid crush on you, never did i think that it was always meant to be me that you were in love with from the beginning..." of course she had read that letter, elena was never good at keeping things hidden from her twin sister like she could with me as i nodded my head at her knowing smile

"...fred...remember when we remenisced on that photo of you and elena dancing in fourth year and our conversation gradually moved onto the day we first met on the hogwarts express?" celine asked as i nodded my head softly as she continued

"i jokingly said because i couldn't remember that day that i felt like elena talked a lot and that was why you fell in love with her first..." she trailed off as i remembered the conversation 

"...i said i do remember elena starting the conversation but as soon as i asked about your parents, she shut down and you took over and spoke the entire train ride to hogwarts. i mentioned it made me feel conflicted as i remembered looking at elena and being mesmerised and then i saw you, like really saw you, as you spoke up. i also said it felt like i now had to decide which one i was going to fall in love with..." i trailed off as celine nodded her head with a smile as she continued

"...i then spoke up and said that for the longest time, i thought that elena was in love with george as i'd always been in love with you but elena got you first. then you said you thought i liked george as you remembered that as you and elena got closer, me and george got closer and..."

"...and you said because you thought george always knew that you had a crush on me but because i was always hanging out with elena you didn't want to ruin it. george had become the one you could rely on for everything, sort of becoming what i was to elena. you then said that he would always remind you that sometimes, having the person you love so much in your life in any form even if it wasn't the form you wanted, that it was better than not having them in your life at all..." i trailed off softly, making me realise i needed to stop being so worried as celine waited all this time to fall in love with me, there was nothing that would scare her away

"...yes, you loved my sister, fred and it was sweet. but like i said to you that day, i do truly think you confused the feeling of romantic love with me instead of elena because elena and i are identical. you were feeling the romantic love for the wrong person and she knew that, that's why she left you that last letter for you to find after she died. she knew that it wasn't going to be forever with you and she felt awful that she took you away from me. i think it's why she didn't want anyone to step in and save her during the battle. she knew if anyone had to survive, it had to be us and not her, it was her way of telling us that she wanted our relationship to happen which, is such a messed up way to do it but, i think it was the only thing she thought would work considering it was a literal war we were fighting in..." celine spoke up as she squeezed my hands tightly as i nodded my head as i could tell she still had more to say

"...i never ever want to hear you try and make yourself out to be the villian because you are not the villian in this story at all, fred. you just finally fell in love with the girl you were supposed to be with this entire time. you shouldn't have to crucify yourself for that every single day because elena's death was already a burden that was placed on our shoulders. but it was a burden that never should have happened in the first place. so don't you dare think for one second that you are an evil person because if you are anything in anyone's story but most especially mine, you're the hero!" celine was persistent as she finally felt as though she no longer had to convince me as i nodded my head and smiled

"i love you," i mumble as i position myself to rest my head against her shoulder as she smiles

"i love you too, honey!" celine whispers as she holds me tightly, kissing my temple before returning back to the mashed potatoes for dinner

thankfully after that conversation, my insceurities kind of washed away and didn't bother us for the rest of the night. and it felt as though i could finally breathe properly for the first time in forever. i truly loved celine more than i could ever explain and now knowing that she knew that and didn't doubt it, i knew i made the right decision buying that ring.

christmas day

waking up, fred couldn't hide the smile on his face. it was the twenty fifth of december. christmas day and he couldn't wait to give the love of his life the best christmas present ever in the entire world. whilst it may seem weird that on christmas day, fred and celine were waking up after having slept in his and elena's old bed, it didn't feel weird at all. because it wasn't his and elena's old bed. they had specifically changed it so this very thing wouldn't happen.

watching as his girlfriend was smiling in her sleep made fred go all soft and squishy. he loved watching her sleep. whilst it sounded creepy, fred and celine both loved it. whoever would wake up first in the morning would watch as the other one stayed asleep and it would make them fall in love with the other even more. however, today, it was fred that had woken up early so he watched as celine smiled and softly snored as she stayed sleeping. on her side of the bed facing the middle point of the bed, fred laying on his side and facing her.

celine only stayed asleep for a couple of minutes before she started to stir herself awake in the way that fred always said he found most adorable. celine always grimaced when he said that but she couldn't help the smile that formed on her face at the same time. fluttering open, her eyes slowly adjusted to the light as she smiled seeing the one face she always loved seeing every day.

"...hi honey," fred smiled softly as his hand rested on his girlfriend's cheek

"hi back," celine giggled, her voice filled with sleep as she levelled herself by balancing her elbow on her pillow so she was level with fred

"it's christmas day baby, our very first christmas together as a couple!" fred spoke softly, removing his hand from celine's cheek to play with her messy bed hair as she smiled

"i know. but...it's also the first christmas without her..." celine sighed, only remembering now that it was her first ever christmas without her twin sister by her side 

remembering that the floor of the bed she was sleeping on was the old bedroom of her sister's and the very side her sister slept on. it suddenly made her feel conflicted on the day she loved the very most. fred bit his lip and nodded his head, of course, this wasn't how they wanted to start their first christmas as a proper couple, especially this early. but, fred couldn't forget that elena was celine's twin sister, no one could forget that. because he wasn't the only one grieving elena in the old apartment they used to live in before he and celine moved into their current one.

"...i know honey but, that doesn't mean today has to be sad..." fred trailed off, hoping he didn't say anything offensive as celine smiled

"...it won't be, babe. i was just merely saying that for you. i know you still struggle with elena's death more than i do and i was her sister. i just wanna make sure you are okay my love. christmas and the holidays in general are so difficult for those who are grieving and i just wanna make sure you're taken care of and not struggling," celine spoke softly as she brushed her fingers through fred's hair as he smiled, his eyes clouded with tears of thanks

"thank you, darling. i appreciate you so much, you know that right?" fred whispered as his emotions got the better of him as celine smiled

"i do know that. you never go a minute without telling me. c'mon, it's christmas, we can't be sad! we have things to do and our families to see!" celine smiled, removing the quilts as she hopped out of bed, fred smiling and shaking his head as he followed

they got dressed in their outfits they had meticulously planned days in advance. fred in a white button down and green chinos that just made him look oh so attractive as he left the first two unbuttoned. whilst celine was wearing a lovely floor-length green velvet dress with white heels so they were matching.

since they were visiting celine's family, the grangers first for brunch and then going to the weasley's for family dinner, they decided to chuck all the presents in their car so they didn't have to worry about whether or not they'd remembered all the presents or not. each family member, on both sides, got four gifts each which meant a lot of money was spent by fred and celine for their families but they didn't mind. they'd happily go bankrupt if it meant their families had everything they ever wanted in the world. they both knew both families were still struggling with the loss of elena and they couldn't blame them.

 fred's family because their son and brother was dating her and celine's family because not only was one of their twin's dating fred but now the second twin was. not that they hated the fact that celine and fred were dating. they were the happiest in the world to know that finally, fred and celine had fallen in love which is the way it was always meant to be. they were happy knowing that elena had actually apologised that she had stolen fred from celine because she thought her twin actually liked george.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

after brunch with celine's family and spending time catching up with hermione who would then come with them to have dinner at the weasley's since she was dating ron, they said their goodbyes to the granger's. leaving for the burrow, they were glad that the granger's didn't live too far away so there was no cross country trips this christmas. driving back to the burrow hadn't cased fred this much stress since the first time they'd returned home after the battle of hogwarts. the velvet box now feeling heavy in his pocket as he watched his girlfriend and her sister have a proper catch up in the back of their car. celine giving him a look through the rearview mirror, realising something was stressing her boyfriend out.

"...you okay, freddie?" celine questioned, her hand not letting go of hermione's as her younger sister also looked worried at the ginger

"yeah...yeah, i'm fine, honey! i just haven't been this stressed about being at the burrow since the battle," fred giggled as both hermione and celine knew how shitty of a liar he was but didn't question it

"okay, as long as you're okay. i love you," celine smiled as she lovingly looked at her boyfriend as he smiled back

"i love you too, celine," he whispered to himself as he watched as her and hermione continued their animated conversation like nothing had interrupted it

the three finally arrived at the burrow and it seemed as though it was only getting closer and closer to the time that fred was going to propose. sure, it seemed way too early to propose especially since it's only been a year, nearly two, since elena's death, he knew he loved celine and wanted to marry her. he didn't want to wait any longer for celine just in case he lost her in the same way he lost elena. 

he didn't want that to ever happen again so, his thought process was if he proposes to her and then marries her quickly, he'd feel better if anything bad to either of them was to happen. because, people had to realise that this was fred's new normal and it was celine's new normal since the loss of their ex-girlfriend and twin sister. and especially since they uprooted their life from that old apartment above the joke shop to their new one so the couple could really expand their future which is going to be more than just the weasley's wizard wheezes.

and to also accept the fact that fred couldn't act miserable anymore and live in misery for the rest of his life now that he finally has the girl of his dreams. even though the way he got her was through the death of her twin sister during the battle of hogwarts.

walking into the house of her boyfriend's that she so dearly loved, celine spoke up, "...merry christmas molly and arthur!" she smiled, pulling mr and mrs weasley in for a hug, the parents she'd known since first year at hogwarts

"merry christmas, celine, fred & hermione! thank you for driving over from your parents' house!" molly smiled as she let go of the two grangers so the rest of the family, harry included, could tackle the girls into a group hug

molly then hugs her son, fred as does arthur as celine continues the conversation, "oh, of course molly! we wouldn't miss christmas dinner at the burrow, ever! besides, i don't think either three of us could stand being with our family for the whole day. especially when one of hermione and i's muggle cousins is still flabbergasted that fred was able to and allowed to fall in love again but most importantly with me!" celine sighed, pulling out of the weasley/potter hug as molly's face hardened and her eyes widened

"that cousin is still invited to these things?" now molly was flabbergasted as celine and hermione chuckled as did fred as he hugged his siblings and harry

"unfortunately he is. besides, he was that one cousin that always had a weird obsession with elena so, yeah, i don't know why mum and dad still allow that man in our house every holiday..." celine trails off as she shudders as does the weasleys, harry and hermione

"...that's disgusting! are you sure your parents aren't also kind of, enabling him, by allowing him to keep on coming to these events?" arthur speaks up this time, his arms crossed over with a christmas hat on his head as celine sighs

"oh, they are for sure enabling him and it's disgusting but, what more can we do i guess?" celine sighs as she shakes her head

"i'm guessing they blame the grief of elena as the excuse for this particular cousin?" arthur groans as he still has his arms crossed over

"most of the family has that as their excuse as a reason for majority of their behaviour and honestly, it's pissing me off. cause, me, hermione and fred also lost elena but we're not breaking rules or being inappropriate!" celine sighed as did arthur and molly as fred just stayed silent, not knowing if he should speak up just yet

it was unbelievable what people in celine and hermione's family got away with but especially now that they had the "excuse" of the death of elena and their grief to lean on, they were for sure milking it for more than it was worth. however, the family decided just to start the christmas celebrations with the presents and festivities cause there was no longer any point in dwelling on the things that celine and hermione's family do.

however, it was during the giving out of the presents that, things took a turn but, not so much for the worst...

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

...celine sighed happily, all of the christmas presents had been handed out and she flopped back to the couch, where she thought fred was waiting for her. however, he wasn't and she just flopped straight onto the couch below her, not onto the cushyness of her boyfriend. confused, she grunted and pushed herself off the couch, only to find her boyfriend on his hands and knees grabbing something from underneath the christmas tree.

"...fred, darling, what are you doing? all the presents have been given out!" celine chuckled as she rubbed the sore spot on her back where she fell onto the couch

the families watched on, knowing exactly what was going on, their faces looking like creepy clowns, their mouths open so wide from happiness and excitement. celine however, was completely confused, thinking that everyone had been given their presents and that it was hopefully time to go back to their own house to see if they could spend the last few hours of christmas day alone.

however, it seemed as though fred had one last trick up his sleeve and, he produced it. getting off the floor, he walked over to celine. it seemed as though she realised what was happening as she didn't even wait for fred to open the velvet box let alone go down to his knee and formally ask her...

"...yes!" celine responded hastily which caused giggles which then ultimately caused her to freak out, thinking that fred wasn't actually proposing to her like she thought he was

fred giggled as he lowered himself down to his knee, opening the velvet box and decided that even though celine had already said yes, he was still going to say his prepared speech anyway. celine was no longer worried about fred actually not proposing to her. not that she expected it to happen on christmas day but, alas, it was happening and she didn't stop it because she didn't want to stop it.

"celine, i remember the day we met as clear as day that never did i think it would take us so long to actually fall in love with one another. i never thought i'd get the opportunity to be in love with you because at the time, i had someone else. but, i'm so glad we eventually found our way back to each other. i'm so head over heels in love with you that i've never been so sure about anything else in my life more than i have been sure about this. celine ruby granger, will you marry me?" fred's nervous as celine smiled wide and nodded her head as she lowered herself down to her own knees and kisses fred as they help each other back up 

fred then placed the gorgeous vintage engagement ring on celine's left ring finger as the in-laws rushed over to embrace the newly engaged couple. after all the hugs and kisses, fred and celine finally got a moment to themselves where they just got to decompress and be with one another.

"...i love you so much, freddie!" celine whispered, resting her forehead on her fiancé's as fred  smiled

"i love you more, celine!" he smiled, resting his head on celine's as they smiled at one another, pulling away

fred had never felt happier on any day for the entire year until this day. christmas day, the day he proposed to the love of his life, his soulmate. but, celine still asked him how he was.

"you okay, honey?" celine whispers as fred nods his head

"more than okay, i'm perfect actually," he whispers with a huge smile on his face as celine reciprocates

"same," she smiles as the engaged couple kisses 

fin

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2026

[amberjazmyn]

take me back (to the night we met)

pairing : fred weasley x fem!reader

summary : with some of the lyrics of lord huron's 'the night we met', we see fred weasley remember the day he lost the love of his life, elena granger, in the battle of hogwarts and wishing he could go back to the night they first met.

warnings : battle of hogwarts, canon divergence, death, crying, sad fred weasley, sad hermione granger, hermione losing her older sister elena and having another sister, elena's twin named celine, having two sisters in total

a/n : since i've written so many fics about fred's death, i decided to make one about fred's girlfriend dying during the battle instead of him.

fred shudders as he looks at the blood covering his hands and arms as he felt tears well in his eyes. this wasn't supposed to happen, none of this was supposed to happen. this second wizarding war was hell and it was heartbreaking as he saw the way it destroyed what was once his home at hogwarts as well as the home of all of the other hogwarts students. walls had been blasted and destroyed, pictures thrown around, people killed and injured. all because lord voldemort couldn't stop until he got what he wanted. which was to finally kill the boy who lived, harry potter.

it was in this moment that another loud blast made him jump out of his skin as screams and cries of desperation followed afterwards. the hair on the back of his neck stood up as he recognised those screams and cries making his eyes widen and his feet start running to the source of the noise.

fred skids to a stop as he suddenly hear words he never wanted to hear, "...elena! wake up, elena, this isn't funny!" it was his younger brother ron screaming for his best friend and fred's girlfriend

it's the noise of fred dropping to his knees that makes ron turn his head towards his brother, his face covered in soot, blood and his own tears as he shakes his head at his older brother, "i...i'm so sorry fred! i tried...i tried to get elena to move out of the way but she just...she wouldn't..." ron sobbed as fred's entire body feels like it's transfigured into jello

"...why is she cold, ron?" fred whimpers, his hands grabbing onto his girlfriend as ron shook his head, unable to bear this heartache

"fred...i'm so sorry..." ron apologised again as he continued to weep as george and percy had since run over to see who it was that was being stood over 

george, percy, ginny, celine (elena's twin sister) and hermione's eyes widening in shock as they notice it had been elena that had been crushed. dropping to his knees, george immediately goes to comfort his twin brother. ginny comforting hermione, elena and celine's youngest sister whilst percy just watches in shock and celine trying to comfort everyone.

"...freddie, i am so sorry..." george whispers as he tries to pull his twin away from elena as fred fights back

"...no...stop it georgie! stop apologising, elena's fine, she just needs to be warmed up and healed..." fred whimpers in desperation, unable to have the belief that elena was dead as ron shook his head

"...no fred...elena isn't fine, she's never going to wake up again..." ron's voice felt like chalkboard in fred's ears but he knew in his heart that his little brother wasn't lying to him

and it was in that moment, knowing that ron or any of his siblings would never lie to him that made his cries louder and more gutwrenching as he reached out once again for his girlfriend. pulling her lifeless body into his arms, fred huddled his knees up to his chest where elena's flopping head rested against as he hugged her closer to his chest. ron, george and percy watched in despair as did the girls, they had never seen their brother and best friend so broken. as they watched him, they couldn't help but notice the great hall become colder and lose its once vibrant colours...

fred's pov

i suddenly wake up in a cold sweat, tears rolling down my cheeks as i thought i was back at hogwarts at the battle of hogwarts when it had now been six months after it had happened. and i was still having the same nightmare, which wasn't actually a nightmare, of my girlfriend elena's final moments as she died in my arms. i could barely sleep or do anything without her being right there at the forefront of every single thought and feeling i had. there were days i got mad and days where i was sad and couldn't do anything but cry. and then days where i was completely numb to everything and wouldn't cry or have any emotion. 

but today, it seemed as though i was between feeling numb and angry because it felt like i didn't deserve to lose my girlfriend and all the others i loved that lost their lives that day during the battle of hogwarts and those people didn't deserve to die. i then remembered what day it was, it was elena's birthday and then it suddenly made sense as to why i was feeling such conflicting feelings of numbness and anger because she's no longer alive to celebrate it anymore.

"...freddie...sweetheart, are you okay?" i hear my mum's voice as i hum back

"yes mum, i'm awake!" i grumble as mum sighs and walks into my room

"good, we have a big day ahead of us, we..."

"...doing what, exactly?" i argue, sitting myself up in my bed as i fluff with my messy bed hair as my mum sighs again

"well, i thought because of what day it is today, we'd go down to the cemetery to see elena and then visit her family. see how they're doing and then go out for dinner together..." mum trails off as i was shocked that mum even remembered elena and celine's birthday

not that i thought mum was terrible with birthdays but, it always seemed as though she never fully remembered. always sounding unsure when asking me or elena to remind her of the day so she could wish her a happy birthday along with celine, her twin sister.

"...you...you remember elena's birthday?" i stammer as mum sighed again with a soft smile as she moved further into my room

"of course i have. contrary to belief, i have always remembered her birthday, you've just always taken me constantly double-checking her birthday making sure i never forget it as me forgetting her birthday or not knowing it. i could never forget her birthday, she's family, so is celine," mum smiles softly, her arms crossing over as tears start to well in my eyes, breaking away at the numbness as i smile as well, nodding my head

"thanks mum...for...for remembering..." i stammer as i try to hold back the tears as mum smiles softly and nods her head as she sits on down on the bed next to me

grabbing my hand, she holds it tightly, "...we all miss her, fred but you cannot keep doing this to yourself and hiding away here at the burrow when you're meant to be with george at the joke shop. this is why i wanted to do this today, on elena's birthday, so i could force you to leave the house and your bedroom. it isn't healthy for you to stay in here and just rot away to nothingness, fred..." mum also got emotional as this was clearly hurting her as well that i was still swallowed by grief

"...i know mum but what else is there for me to do other than rot in my childhood bed?" i whispered softly as mum smirked as she messed up my hair even more

"live, fred. that's what elena would want you to be doing. learn how to love life again because you loved it..." mum trailed off as she gave me a kiss to the head before walking out of my room

and i know she walked out with the expectation that in the next five minutes, i'd be out of bed and in a clean outfit for the day. and, i couldn't argue with my mum. she was right. i did love life but that was with elena beside me but, i think i could relearn how to love life again without her. then, as i got up out of bed and walked over to my closet, i seemed to forget the bewitched photo of me and elena that i had placed there. suddenly becoming overwhelmed with a memory of the both of us and i just froze...

flashback | elena's pov

...i smile so wide it felt like my face was going to rip. we were in the great hall on christmas day where it was snowing and filled with magic all around us. this year we were hosting the triwizard tournament and the other two wizarding schools that were participating, the beauxbatons and durmstrang and tonight we had all come together for the yule ball. i was wearing a beautiful white dress with a halter neck and my date was none other than the beautiful fred weasley.

fred and i had been friends since first year when we met on the hogwarts express for the first time and i shared a carriage with him, my twin sister celine and his twin brother george and another boy named lee jordan. and ever since then, fred and i (and celine & george) have been as thick as thieves and have run amuck together. however, it wasn't until fourth year when both of us realised our feelings of just best friends had changed to something more romantic and we'd been dating ever since.

right now, we were just dancing as the band that was performing at the yule ball was playing. it was absolutely manic as i couldn't help but stop and stare at my boyfriend as he exploded with joy. it had been such a stressful year with the triwizard tournament having such dangerous tasks, especially when harry, a fourth year student, had been basically forced to compete against his will. so having this moment to just let our hair down and have fun and mingle with the other two schools, it was exactly the respite we needed.

"...you're staring, elena..." i suddenly hear fred whisper, his mouth tickling my ear as i feel my cheeks warm under his eye contact

"...am i?" i whisper,  suddenly feeling self-conscious as fred hugs me closer to him with his smile

"you were but it was so hot..." fred trailed off as i giggled and shook my head

"...shut up, freddie!" i giggled as my arms wrapped around his torso as i notice his line of sight move towards a circular table

"it's getting a bit crowded out here, want to sit down and have some drinks for a bit?" fred whispers as i nod my head as my arms loosen around his waist as our hands find each others

as we made our way to our seats, it was during this moment that a photo of us two had been taken and honestly, i'm glad the photo had been taken. we looked gorgeous and we were outside and it was going to be a moment and memory we'd want to keep forever without a doubt. even showing it to our future kids one day and telling them the story about this photo and how much fun we had at 16 at our first ever yule ball.

present time | fred's pov

i smile as i stare at the once bewitched photo that elena had bewitched to make it move that was taken during our sixth year at the yule ball. it made me feel so much better in knowing that she didn't rip or throw it away as she had jokingly threatened she would to my mum when she asked about how that photo had even got hung up in the hallway of the burrow.

"...fred? seriously honey, we're about to leave for the cemetery in a minute. are you sure you're okay?" mum calls out from the kitchen as i smile to no one and call back to her

"oh...yeah...i'm okay mum. sorry, i'm getting ready now, i won't take too much longer!" i call back as i feel like mum knows when i'm lying and bluffing but she didn't question it any further

and that was because i didn't take much longer to get ready even though i got distracted by the photo i had purposefully looked away from until today. rushing down the stairs in my 'f' sweater and some jeans and sneakers, i met the rest of my family at the door.

of course, i got some looks of worry but i just ignored them as i can't have my family knowing that i'm still grieving over my girlfriend's death almost one year on. george kept an eye on me during the drive to the cemetery where elena had been laid to rest but i just didn't want to acknowledge it, until he forced me to.

"...fred, are you sure you're okay? you've been quite quiet this whole trip..." george trailed off as i huffed, resting my hand on my chin as my elbow rested on the car window which i looked out of

"...george, leave your brother alone please. if he doesn't want to talk to you, he doesn't have to, alright darling? i know it's hard because he's your twin but, he'll talk to us when he's ready..." mum then piped up as she looked at george as he sighed but nodded his head

respecting that i didn't want to have conversation on the drive and that i'd talk when i was ready, george nodded his head and turned it to look out of his window as mum was driving and dad was in the passenger seat, me and george in the back, me sitting behind mum and george sitting behind dad, with ron and ginny behind us. we then arrived at the cemetery and straight away, hopping out of the car, i smiled as i recognised one of the people already at elena's gravestone.

it was elena's sister hermione who i don't think i'd actually seen properly since elena's funeral two weeks after elena's death. she was wearing a sweet white dress with elena's old red bow in her hair and she looked so happy and alive whereas i was the complete opposite.

"...hermione!" i mumbled as i broke away from my family and ran over to hermione who met me halfway between elena's grave and the road where mum had parked her car

she smiled and immediately gave me a hug, "fred? what are you guys doing here?" she wasn't saying that in a bad way i know but it was a good question since i hadn't been here since her funeral and burial

"oh, mum suggested that because it's elena's birthday today that we should come down to visit her and then catch up with you guys at the house and then go out for dinner together to also celebrate celine..." i trailed off as hermione smiled

"...aw, that's really sweet of mrs weasley, fred! i'm glad you guys are here actually as i'm the only one here and looks like the only one...mum refused, dad's working so it's not really his choice or fault, celine couldn't bear to get out of bed and just cried herself into a restless sleep since it's her first birthday without elena and everyone else have also said they'd rather celebrate elena anywhere but the cemetery so..." hermione trailed off as i smirked and nodded my head, understanding why one wouldn't want to be at a cemetery to celebrate a birthday but feeling my heart break over celine, hermione and elena's eldest sister who is elena's older twin sister unable to move from her grief

"...yeah, understandable. especially for celine since she's living without her twin sister. but, it's still nice i guess to make an effort to visit..." i trail off as i realise i sound like a total arsehole since i was someone who never really made an effort until been forced to today to make an effort to visit and hermione caught that too as she giggled

"...it is and, i'm glad you did make an effort cause i know it's just as hard for you as it is for the rest of us..." hermione trailed off as she held my hand and started to walk the both of us closer to elena's gravestone

i was so scared to actually see the gravestone again but, i was glad i had hermione and the rest of my family with me as she spoke up again, "...she really loved you, fred. she was obsessed with you, totally obsessed and i think that's why it hurts so much more because she would never get the chance to marry you and have kids with you..." hermione sighed as she tilted her head, looking at the photo of her sister that was etched into her marble gravestone

i became teary-eyed as i stared at the photo myself. she looked so young but that's because she was. she wasn't even in her mid-twenties, she was only twenty-one and she'll always stay as a twenty-one year old for the rest of her life. not getting the chance to grow old anymore because her life was so brutally taken away from her.

"...i remember her telling me that she wanted to marry me eventually. i just feel bad that i never got to tell her that..." i sniffled as hermione held my hand tighter and held me closer as she rested her head on my shoulder

"...i'm sorry too fred. especially since it's obvious that you're still struggling and then you see me and my family minus celine and it looks like we've got our shit all sorted and it makes you and celine feel like utter shit that you're still grieving..." hermione looked at me as a tear streamed down my cheek as i nodded my head

"...it's not just your family, mione. it's mine as well, i mean, they all look put together and happy and then there's me. wearing the same sweater, jeans and sneakers with messy hair and a face that looks like it's been punched over and over again..." i mutter, trailing off as hermione just pulls me in for a hug, turning me away from elena's gravestone as i just cry

"...and i'm so sorry we didn't notice you struggle, fred. we should've been there to help you as it's not easy to lose the love of your life this young. and it's not supposed to happen this way, you were supposed to live the rest of your lives together. you were supposed to get married and have children together and i'm so sorry you'll never get that life with elena." hermione whispered as she held me tightly as i just continued to cry

and i didn't care if my family were watching. i wanted them to see just how hurt i still was over elena's death after a year of her being gone. sure, it should make me feel slightly guilty seeing how guilty they are but, at this point, i feel like they deserve to feel bad. they deserved to know that they were at some fault for why i was still struggling.

after a while though, my tears finally stopped and we decided that we would leave the cemetery as it was clearly not the smartest idea to stay here any longer. so, because hermione was dropped off at the cemetery on her dad's way to work and because we had room in the car, hermione came with us in the car as we drove back to her house. we then spent the rest of the day with hermione, celine and her family for elena's birthday. then, we went out to elena's favourite restaurant for dinner and truthfully, it was lovely and it was the best way we could have celebrated elena's twenty-second birthday. the only thing that was obviously missing was elena.

i am not the only traveller who has not repaid his debt

as we travelled home after dinner with hermione, celine and elena's family, my heart broke once again as i couldn't help but wish elena was still here with us. george, who sat in the seat in the back of the car behind dad, held my hand, noticing that i wasn't okay. and i squeezed his hand, telling him thank you and i appreciate what he's doing to help me not just as my twin brother but just as a person who truly sees me and my grief.

because i think what hermione said at the cemetery really stuck with them and they realised that what they thought was helpful wasn't actually helpful at all. and, it was in that moment that they knew they had to change their tactics and they did. and i was grateful for that because, if it wasn't for hermione and later celine reading my mind, i don't think i could have told my family at all that what they were doing wasn't actually as helpful as they thought it was.

i've been searching for a trail to follow again. take me back to the night we met.

in all honesty, as i walked back up the stairs to my bedroom, seeing all around me how messy it was, and how i was so embarrassed about the fact that i was elena's boyfriend. and i say that because i was hiding all of my physical memories of elena's. for example, all of our photos and muggle polaroids, they were all hidden away in cupboards and tucked away behind clothes in my wardrobe because i was scared to look at them for the fear i'd cry and unable to stop crying. and in all honesty, at the time, it seemed like a good idea but looking back now, it was the wrong thing to do. who cares if i do cry looking at the photos? it just means that i really did love and care about elena. and it meant that i wanted to be taken back to that first night we met.

a knock was then heard at my door, "...freddie?" it was mum as i smiled

"yeah mum?" i smiled as i turned around to see mum opening my door wider

"how did it feel returning back to elena's gravestone? i'm sorry if it was too much..." mum trailed off as i shook my head and sat on the edge of my bed

"...don't apologise mum. at first, i will admit, it was awful but the moment i saw hermione i knew i could relax and that it was all going to be okay..." i trailed off with a smile as mum relaxed and nodded her head

"...that's good. well, what are you doing in here?" mum asks as she notices my cupboard and wardrobe was open as i laughed

"oh...uh...hah, i was just going to bring out all the the things i have of elena out of hiding and kind of display them around my room..." i trailed off as mum smiled as she nodded her head

"...that's a brilliant idea, fred. i'm guessing it was something that hermione told you to do?" mum questioned with a certain look on her face as i chuckled

"no, it wasn't hermione..." i trailed off as mum's eyes widened, i could tell she knew who else it could've been if it wasn't hermione

"...it was celine?" her eyes buldge wide as i roll my eyes

"what if it was celine's suggestion? she and her sister are just telling me tips as to what helped them and what didn't," i groaned as mum held her hands up and smiled

"i'm not suggesting anything or i'm not saying anything. i'm just glad we saw hermione at the cemetery before seeing celine at dinner actually. both of them seem to know a lot more on how to help you then we do and i'm glad they both suggested for you to look at the things of elena's that you still have of her. it's a thing that will help you..." mum trailed off as i spoke up again

"...even if it takes me back to the day we met?" i question as mum sighed and nodded her head

"even if it takes you back to the day you met, freddie," mum nodded her head as i did as well as i found myself suddenly clocking onto elena's oversized 'e' sweater that mum had made her when she decided to make two for elena and celine

and mum noticed it as well as she smiled, "do you want to be left alone, fred?" mum questioned as i gulped the sudden tears that had welled in my eyes and nodded my head

"uh, yes...yes please, thanks mum..." i trailed off, my voice cracking as mum nodded her head

"...alright. i love you always freddie," mum whispered as she then left the room without another word and closed my door behind her

after mum left i just cried some more with my back against the wardrobe that i had seen elena's favourite sweater in which just happened to be the one my mum made for her. i held it and cried into it. it still smelt like elena's perfume since this was the perfume she was actually wearing on her clothes the day i first met her on the hogwarts express. and now, i didn't want that scent to disappear even though i knew it eventually would. but before it could do that, i was soaking up all of the smell of my deceased girlfriend since it had felt like forever since i had last smelt the scent.

and then i can tell myself what the hell am i supposed to do and then i can tell myself not to ride along with you.

it had been a couple of weeks after elena and celine's birthday and seeing hermione when i was having an emotional breakdown. the worst one i had had since the day elena died. i didn't know what to do so the only thing i could think to do was to take mum's muggle car and drive down to the cemetery.

i know i looked stupid to the other people in the cemetery since i was wearing my pyjamas but, i was at a loss of what to do without elena. so, like a crazy psycho, i started to talk to my girlfriend's gravestone as though it was a conversation and she could respond to me.

"...elena, what...what the hell am i supposed to do without you? i...i don't know what to do anymore..." i sobbed as i fell to my knees, the wilting flowers seemingly following me in a dance as they fold over themselves

i cry more after i get no response. of course i don't get a response, elena's dead, i don't think she can or has come back as a ghost and i can't do anything about it. i sit in morbid silence for what felt like hours and it probably was as it had suddenly gotten a lot colder then what it was when i first arrived.

but it was peaceful and i liked that it was peaceful because of all the limited times i had been here at elena's grave, it had never been this calm. that was until i heard footsteps come up behind me. and i was curious as to who it was as they were getting closer and then i realised it was elena's twin sister, celine.

she was wearing one of elena's gryffindor sweaters and ugg boots with leggings and long white fluffy socks. which was different to the short sleeve plaid pyjamas i was wearing. with her arms crossed and a worried look on her face, she pulled me into a hug. which we stayed in for a while until she felt comfortable in letting me go.

"...what are you doing here all alone in this weather, freddie?" celine asked with worry as i shrugged my shoulders as i wiped my face of the tears i had cried

"i guess...i guess i'm just confused and want an answer, celine. i don't know what to do anymore i mean, how am i supposed to live without her..." i trailed off as celine smiled and nodded her head as she grabbed my hand and sat the both of us down

"...you just do, freddie. that's all you can do at this point and i'm sure elena wouldn't like it that you're still so stuck and not able to move on. i mean, i could help you with it and i'm sure she wouldn't mind it..." celine trailed off as she moved closer to my face as i was unsure as to what she was doing

"...what..what do you mean, celine?" i ask, moving my face away as she then realises and she pulls back as well

"oh...oh my gosh..i am so sorry freddie! i didn't...i shouldn't have done that..." celine trailed off as she went to run away but i stopped her, grabbing her hand and pulled her back in

"...no, tell me celine, what were you going to do?" i questioned as celine sighed and looked at me

"i...i was going to kiss you, freddie...but it...it's okay if you didn't want that or..." okay, i did not think she was going to be honest but, i have to give it to her, it made me smile and not because i thought she was joking because i knew she wasn't

"...what if i was going to say yes..." i whispered as celine's eyes widened, i knew she didn't think i would have said yes to her kissing me, especially at the gravestone of her twin sister and my girlfriend

but, it was at this moment that celine took her shot and i allowed her too, "...then...can...can i kiss you, freddie?" celine whispered as i nodded my head as we moved our faces closer to one another before our lips touched and it felt like sparks were flying in my stomach again

okay, yes, i know it's kind of weird and inappropriate to kiss the twin sister of your dead girlfriend only a year after her death but, technically, i didn't initiate it. and besides, elena did always joke that if she did die before me and her could get married that celine did have permission to pursue a relationship with me if she so chose to. and that apparently, in her final letter she wrote for me, she finally realised something she never noticed until that moment. and she also, elena, gave that permission to me as well. so, i think that's what celine was trying to do? we then pulled out of the kiss and we both took in deep breaths after losing our breath during the kiss.

and celine spoke up first with worry, "was...was that a good kiss? i mean, i've never kissed anyone before and i..." before celine could continue blabbing, i pulled her back in and kissed her again

i pulled out of the kiss and smirked, "...was that a good kiss?" i teased as celine chuckled in shock and nodded her head speechless

"yeah...wow...yeah...that...that was a great kiss, freddie!" she stammered out as i smiled before i grabbed her hand and walked us back to my car

since, similar to hermione on elena's birthday at the cemetery, celine had been dropped off so, i drove us back to my house. thankfully, it was kind of late so everyone in the house was either asleep or in the loungeroom so, no one battered an eyelid when i came in through the backdoor with celine with me. we then went upstairs to my room and just spent the rest of the night together. we didn't do anything sexual but, there was an element of something romantic there.

i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you

of course i was devastated that elena was dead. it'll always be a pain in my chest that'll never properly fade and that was okay. because, whilst i don't have her anymore, there was still a time of my life where i had all and then most of her. and then it was just some of her that i had and then, eventually, i had none of her. but, now, i was with celine and the best thing about being with celine was, i still had elena in my life in some strange way. because, celine is elena's older twin sister and she made sure that elena was never forgotten and i liked that.

whilst most people would think it was a little strange that i went from 'one twin sister to another', we made sure that our relationship and its foundation wasn't bound on the trauma bond of me losing my former girlfriend and celine losing her twin sister. because, if that was the foundation of our relationship, that's when it would have been weird and a strange thing. i was happy with celine and i think it really showed when i lived in my everyday life to the point that mum, dad, george, ron, percy, charlie, bill and celine's family started to recognise it.

and, i think it was mum at first that was really rooting for me and celine's relationship because i think she knew that she and i had a profound bond that was more than just two people who had lost the same person. it seemed to my mum as though celine and i were returning to something we had in a previous life. we had a bond that was special and a connection that in all honesty, i think was stronger than the bond that elena and i had and that's saying something as the bond i had with elena was strong.

take me back to the night we met. i don't know what i'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you.

but, of course, whilst celine and i had great moments in our relationship that had nothing to do with elena, there were still moments where my mind was overwhelmed by smells, photos, and other things that reminded me of elena. but, none more so then the night we initially met. and every single time i had those moments of grief, celine would hold me as i would sob and grieve over the loss of elena. she wouldn't hate me for it, she wouldn't berate me for it, she'd just sit there alongside me and sometimes even cry with me if the memory was a big one or one that she had been going through as well.

"...ssh, freddie. it's okay honey, just breathe," celine tried to calm me down as best as she could as i was distraught

"no...no it isn't celine! this...this was never meant to happen!" i sob in anger as celine's eyes widened as i then apologise

"i'm sorry...i...i didn't mean it like that! i just mean..."

"...i know what you mean, freddie. don't apologise for elena's death or the fact that we fell in love...don't ever be sorry for being happy again," celine whispered as she wiped my tears away and stroked my face as i nodded my head

celine and i then spent the rest of the day going back through our favourite memories of elena and it was fantastic. it was so helpful in helping me not only remember elena but that ultimately, all that elena wanted for me was to be happy. even if it meant i was without her but with her sister instead. the more we remembered elena, the more it made me realise that maybe she was the invisible string tying me and celine to one another without us even realising it as even the memory of elena and i meeting the first time included celine.

oh, take me back to the night we met.

flashback

i smiled as i looked through the window on the hogwarts express, my twin brother george and i were in our first year at hogwarts and we couldn't contain our excitement. as we introduced ourselves to the other boy sharing our carriage, lee jordan, we then look up to see two girls who also looked to be first years.

"...every other carriage is full, celine..." i hear a voice as i instantly smile as i looked up

"...can we join you boys? we're so sorry but every other carriage is full..." the same girl spoke up as me, george and lee all nodded our heads

"...of...of course you can! i'm fred, this is my twin brother george and this is lee, we're all first years!" i introduce as the girls smile as they then joined us in the carriage, the girl that originally spoke up sitting in front of me and the other twin sitting in front of george

"hi fred, george and lee! i'm elena and this is my twin sister celine and we're also first years!" elena spoke up as i smiled but then smiled and waved at celine as she smiled and waved back

"how did your parents feel about you going to hogwarts?" i ask as elena's shoulders deflate as i notice the way celine reacts and takes over

"they're muggles, fred. it's definitely going to take them some time to get used to it but we have a younger sister, hermione. so, we have a little inkling that she could be magical as well so, it's only a matter of time before she joins us to hogwarts. and hopefully that's when our parents finally get some grasp of understanding of it all," celine smiles as she mentions her and elena's younger sister hermione

i turn around to look out the window and notice the frizzy-haired girl, celine and elena's younger sister hermione, adorably trying to catch up with the hogwarts express. all of the students had finally boarded the train and it was now finally starting to leave the platform.

it was hearing more about elena and celine that made me and george feel comfortable about letting them in on our family, "our family is fully magical. we have an older brother, bill who has now left hogwarts and works in egypt, charlie who works and studies in romania, percy who's a couple years older than us and still at hogwarts and then we have our two younger siblings, ron and ginny who are still yet to get their hogwarts letters..." i smile as i notice the way elena and celine just lit up

"...your family is huge! is it fun having so many siblings?" celine spoke up as me and george chuckled and noticed lee just listening intently, not saying a word as elena also stayed silent

"i mean, it has many pros for sure but, it also means we get given a lot of hand-me-downs but, it is fun having so many siblings to mess with..." i trail off as celine and elena smile and nod their heads

we then eventually decide to change into our hogwarts robes as it seemed as though we were almost at the school at this point.

present time

celine and i continued to recall our favourite memories of elena when she found a photo of me and elena. it was the first photo that had been taken of us whilst at hogwarts. i giggled as the photo was getting old but it was a sweet photo of us at the time, we weren't even excusively dating at that point i think. 

we were just best friends as it was fourth year and it was only then that our feelings towards each other started changing. whilst it was a very sweet photo, it also brought back a lot of memories that i genuinely thought i had forgotten. like all the secret sleepovers in the gryffindor common room and then our own apartments when george and i decided to drop out of hogwarts in our seventh year. but, during the times we would sneak into each other's apartments, we were never caught by our friends.

well, that's a bit of a lie. however, this photo was taken when we were still at hogwarts but getting ready to go on a date during the school holidays. george had actually taken this photo and it was a photo that was once bewitched to move but after elena's death, i had gone and unbewitched all of the photos to make them stop moving. no one other than george and maybe the rest of our families (the grangers & weasleys) knew we were dating so it was still during that fun period of us sneaking around for our dates.

"...that's a really cute photo, freddie. when was it taken?" celine asked as she showed me the photo even though i knew what the photo was before even looking at it

"thanks celine. it was taken outside of the castle in fourth year. we were just dancing for some reason and i can't remember why though. george had taken the photo as he was the only one i think that sort of knew that me and elena's feelings had changed from being best friends to liking each other romantically," i smiled as i tilted my head and looked at it properly as it stayed still, unbewitched and realised just how different we looked then versus what we looked like towards the 'end' of our relationship - we had grown up

"you weren't dating at this point?" celine questioned as she started lovingly at her twin sister as i smiled

"not yet. i think this was when we had only just realised, separately, that our feelings had changed from platonic to romantic but it was when we did start to hang out more just as a duo rather than with you and george with us," i sighed as i too stared lovingly at elena which celine never became bothered by

"i can't even remember the day we first met. it feels like ages ago but i feel like elena did most of the talking, probably why you fell in love with her first..." celine giggled as she trailed off as i laughed as well, shaking my head

"...no actually. i do remember elena starting the conversation but as soon as the topic of families was brought up, elena shut down and then you continued the conversation the rest of the train ride to hogwarts. it made me feel really conflicted as i remember looking at elena and being mesmerised but then i saw you as well when you started to speak up and being just as mesmerised. it felt like i now had to decide which one i was going to fall in love with..." i trailed off as celine smiled with a little chuckle

"...for ages, i genuinely thought that elena was in love with george as i think i'd always been in love with you, fred but obviously, i wasn't able to show it..." i could tell celine felt awful about admitting this but it honestly made me smile

"...that's funny as i thought it was the opposite, i thought you had been in love with george for all that time as i remember as elena and i got closer, you and george became closer..." i trailed off as celine nodded her head

"...yeah, i think george also knew that i had a crush on you but because you were always hanging out with elena, i didn't want to ruin it. george started to become the one i could rely on for everything, he sort of became what you were to elena. and he would always remind me that sometimes, having the person you love so much in your life in any form even if it wasn't in the form you wanted, was better than not having them in your life at all..." celine smiled softly as i bit my lip

"...i'm sorry i never noticed it then. i just thought it was elena the entire time but maybe, it wasn't..." i became quiet as celine smiled as she moved closer to me as she placed her head on my shoulder

"...i don't think so. i truly think you and elena loved each other but, maybe you were confusing the feeling of romantic love for me because elena and i are identical twins..." i smiled and giggled, celine always found a way to make me smile and laugh and it was my favourite thing about her

and maybe, she was right. whilst elena and i did love each other, maybe we did get it confused with the romantic love we were feeling but it going to the wrong person. i remember being told by elena, accidentally, that she did have a crush on george that first day we met on the hogwarts express. because even after being introduced to us, for the longest time, she always confused me for george and george for me. whereas celine, she never confused me and george for each other.

when the night was full of terrors and your eyes filled with tears when you had not touched me yet. oh, take me back to the night we met.

out of nowhere, as celine and i found more photos and memories of elena, whether they involved me or not, the last one she found was a very sweet one. and, it was one of the last photos taken of me and elena. well, at least the last one on the old muggle polaroid camera before we had to throw it away cause it broke. it wasn't our last ever photo together entirely since we took photos on the new muggle polaroid but the last one on our very old muggle polaroid film camera. it was a photo of elena and i dancing together, well, almost dancing.

 this was just after george and i had dropped out of hogwarts and before i moved out of home with george for our joke shop. whilst this was george and i's first apartment that was at the top of the joke shop, we also let elena move in whilst she was away from hogwarts during the holidays. once again, george had caught elena and i being cute, dancing together and decided to take a photo of it on the muggle polaroid but, because of how old it was, it didn't take the photo as we danced but rather as we were getting ready to dance. but, we didn't do a second try of the photo cause we loved the first version better. and because if we tried again, it would have looked forced and it was a great candid moment taken on a broken muggle polaroid camera that was then thrown out shortly after that photo was taken...

flashback

"...fred gideon weasley! what are you doing?!" elena squeals out as i giggle, i had come up from behind her and picked her up

"can't a man love on his girlfriend?!" i exasperate as the melodic giggles of my girlfriend fills my ears which makes me instantly happy

"of course you can! i'm not saying you can't, i just would like better notice of when you're going to pick me up for fuck sake, fred!" elena cackles as i couldn't help my own laughter as i held her tightly

as we giggled, i then had an idea, placing her down on the floor, i positioned us the same way as we were when we learnt how to dance for the yule ball. she quickly understood what i was doing and copied what i was doing. we then started to dance together as george quickly realised what we were doing and just smiled. whilst george as my twin brother loved to mess around, he also knew when to be respectful and when to take photos of me and elena.

it was after i had spun elena around and went to start the dance again that george grabbed the broken muggle polaroid that definitely needed to be thrown out. and then george went to take a photo of me and elena beginning the next part of the dance however, i could tell from the annoyance in his voice that he didn't quite get it the way he wanted to.

"...how good of a dancing photo of us did you get, georgie?" elena speaks up as she tries to not ruin the dance pose as i almost died of laughter

"i got the photo but not of the actual dance, it looks like i got the set up of the dance but it is still very sweet though..." he trailed off as his voice got more annoyed as elena and i giggled

the both of us moved out of the dance hold we were in and looked at the polaroid that george had taken. i smiled immediatey as the photo george had taken was actually a really good photo, even though it wasn't of us actually dancing, we could still bewitch it to do that. with or without the dancing, this was a polaroid that would be hung up or framed at the apartment or the weasley house.

present time

celine stared at the photo of me and elena for a little while longer as she smiled. i could tell she felt as though she could visulise the memory of the moment of this photo being taken in the same way i could. even though she wasn't there when the photo was taken and, i could tell it was making celine emotional.

"...i'm really glad that you and elena were together for the time you were, fred..." celine trailed off as she placed the polaroid back into the photo album that was now resting openly on my bookshelf as i smiled

"...i'm glad too, celine. i really did love your sister and i know she really loved me too but, don't let that stop you from thinking i can't love you because i loved your sister. quite frankly, the way i loved elena will always be different to the way i love you but it doesn't make me love you any less. if anything, it makes me feel like our love is a love that we had in a previous life and that i'm getting a second chance to love you again. if you're worried that i'll be stuck with the memory of elena then, let this be the consolation to that thought..." i trailed off as i grabbed celine's head, pushing it gently towards my face kissing her

she was at first shocked, of course, but quickly broke out of the shock as she then moved into the kiss and became more comfortable. we then ended up falling backwards onto my childhood bed back in the borrow with celine falling on top of me. which made us giggle as we just made out with each other, our clothes still on and nothing else sexual. we were still finding our footing in this relationship since it was so new but, it was already so comfortable that i don't think it'd take us that long to get to the nitty gritty of an established relationship.

i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you. take me back to the night we met. i don't know what i'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you. take me back to the night we met

fin

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2026

[amberjazmyn]

mischief managed

pairing : george weasley x fem!granger reader

summary : pivotal moments in the story of how george weasley and his wife astoria granger fell in love

warnings : fluff, angst, mentions of the losses from the battle of hogwarts but all in all, george weasley deserves some love

a/n : this version has a new ofc called astoria granger, yes the older sister of hermione because i would love the thought of her having an older sister!

mischief managed, otherwise anyone can read it

childhood best friends, george weasley and astoria granger were a tag team, thick as thieves and the best pranksters of gryffindor house (george's brother fred also part of the duo of course, making it a trio). george and astoria both met when they were eleven years old and boarding the hogwarts express for the first time. of course, astoria didn't just meet george on the hogwarts express, she also met his twin brother fred and their older brother percy weasley. however, it was quite obvious, even then, that astoria wasn't the biggest fan of percy weasley.

so, the majority of the pranks that astoria pulled during her first two years at hogwarts were directed at the older weasley brother percy. he absolutely despised astoria's jokes that she played on him but couldn't do anything because the twins, george specifically, would always take the blame off of astoria and say it was their idea. and even though percy hated to admit it, later on in life after they had all left hogwarts, he did admit he believed fred and george when they said that astoria's pranks on him were them instead of her.

and it was during the times that george (and fred) continously took the blame for astoria's pranks on percy and everyone else that astoria started to feel differently towards george then she did to fred. it was like whenever she tried to speak to george, she'd get all giddy and excited. i mean, she had always felt like this because she and george were best friends but, this was different again. 

because, all of a sudden, it felt like she was starting to suddenly get excited knowing that on certain days during the school term that they'd be in the same class together and she would look forward to it. she refused to play any practical jokes on george when fred begged her to because he was bored and didn't want to get yelled at by astoria's sister, hermione, again for using an under-aged first year witch or wizard  from gryffindor house. 

and it wasn't just astoria that was feeling these same different feelings, george was feeling them as well. he too would get overly excited knowing that he and astoria had quite a few classes together during the school term and he'd be eagerly waiting in excitement. he would constantly talk about astoria to fred, their friend lee jordan, his brother ron, ron's friends harry and hermione (astoria's younger sister), his sister ginny, his parents. he'd talk to anyone and everyone about astoria. he could never get sick of talking about her to anyone and even then, he still didn't think that astoria thought the same about him and, what do you know, astoria didn't think that george thought the same about her. 

so, one thing that was obvious to everyone else but astoria and george was that they both liked each other romantically. and whilst the two best friends tried to deny it, it seemed as if this one night, they could no longer deny it any longer. not after the best friends learnt that in their sixth year (their siblings' fourth year) the annual yule ball was to be held. all due to the triwizard tournament making a return after centuries of it being cancelled. and it was during the christmas week that the yule ball would be occuring and it was required that the students take dates of the opposite sex with them so, what did george do?

 he, of course, decided to ask astoria to go to the ball with him after he successfully saw his twin brother fred ask out angelina jones during a study session in the great hall. which, of course, annoyed the hell out of ron because he was still refusing to realise that hermione, his best friend, was not only a girl but should have been his first choice and not the last. after helping hermione get through that, astoria gave herself a reminder to scold ronald for that stupid mistake now that viktor krum, one of the triwizard champions, had succeeded in asking her to the yule ball and not as a last resort like ron had done during the study session. 

but, the best part of the yule ball was that the whole school got to dress up in their best dress robes and just let their hair down and just dance and have fun. and to try their best to not worry about exams or the constant fear due to the four champions of the triwizard tournament. harry, a fourth year who was fourteen, had his name pulled out the goblet of fire which forced him to compete. even though it was illegal and had not been done by harry himself, he had no choice but to comply with the rules of the tournament. so, it was lovely, for once, to see everyone out of their regular school uniform or their typical casual attire they wore.

yule ball

due to the yule ball being a ball it meant that the dress code was very fancy which meant dress robes and the very best dress robes were to be worn. so, astoria wore a beautiful white dress that was floor-length that was low in the back and was very tight-fitting whilst george wore a black coat and tie tux dress robes. 

astoria couldn't have been more excited since she never thought that in any of her seven years at hogwarts would they get the opportunity to host one let alone two other wizarding schools in europe. so, it was for sure a moment of her hogwarts schooling for astoria and it was the same for her sister, hermione and the rest of the staff of hogwarts. and, in astoria's mind, she was kind of excited that george had actually asked her as his date because, whilst she clearly didn't do it often, she did love a moment to dress up lavishly and actually have a fun night at school during the christmas break. 

astoria could also be seen as looking excited for the yule ball as fred and lee jordan helped each other to get dressed in their dress robes. george clipped in his cufflinks as he didn't shy away from the mirror in front of him as he and lee waited in the gryffindor common room as they waited for their dates to come out from their dorms. giving himself a small smile, he stepped back slightly, turned a little to the right and cocking his head slightly to the side, seeming impressed at how good he looked. 

"woof woof, georgie, you look good!" lee commented, before a wolf whistle followed afterwards, making both of the men giggle, fred walking in at the sound of the chuckles

"thanks, lee!" george bit his lip as he couldn't hide the picture in his head of what astoria was going to look like in her floor-length dress, with all her makeup and hair done. it made butterflies flutter in his stomach and his cheeks blush a light pink whenever he thought of it 

"wow, you really do clean up well, georgie," fred compliments as george chuckles shyly as he straightens himself straight again as he gave a head nod to his twin who also looked rather dashing in his dress robes 

"thank you, freddie, you look nice too...now, i'm just wondering what astoria looks like..." he shyly trailed off as lee and fred smiled at each other before small gasps left their mouths, noticing that she was standing right behind george, the two boys noticing the girl in the mirror 

astoria was smiling softly as she waited for george to take a second look at himself in the mirror to then notice her. astoria's white floor length dress was velvet, halter neck, low back with a slit that showed off the entirety of her right leg, whilst the left leg was completely covered. her hair was in soft curls which were then brought up into a high ponytail which, when astoria turned to look at herself in the mirror, had revealed to the now three teenagers (george had finally caught eyes with her) the backless detail of the white velvet halter dress. and she was wearing silver heels that weren't too flashy but did have a couple of lines of sparkling jewel detailing around the toe area. 

george was taken aback, as were fred and lee, for it was the first time they had ever really seen astoria (and everyone else) in anything that wasn't their school uniform or the casual jeans and sweater that they'd wear during the weekends. astoria was smiling shyly as she placed her hands behind her back, lightly resting on her bum as she waited for one of the guys to say something, anything. yet, it seemed as if they couldn't because they were too enthralled by how gorgeous she looked, they were distracted. however, george could finally say something, albeit he did stutter through the entire thing. 

"you...you look...you look stunning stori. wow...i...yeah, you look gorgeous!" george spoke shyly as he stammered which made astoria smile brighter as a small giggle left her lips

 fred and lee once again indulging in the fact that astoria always managed to make george a stammering and nervous wreck that reduced his confidence completely as they continued to look at george look at astoria as though she was his whole world.

"aw...thank you georgie. you...you look very lovely as well. well, now that all of us girls are ready, are we all good to now make our way to the great hall? i think the champions and their dates are the first to dance and, i know i'd love to see the look on ronald's face when he sees hermione walking alongside viktor krum, don't you?" astoria chuckled cheekily, still enraged over ron's stupidity over refusing to ask hermione as first choice to the yule ball which made george, lee and fred giggle too (angelina and lee's date also giggled)

the group all agreed with astoria and decided that it was now the right time to head down to the great hall since they were no longer waiting for anyone else in their group to get ready. making their way down out of the common room and then down to the great hall was magical it seemed. it had been beautifully decorated not just for christmas but for the yule ball as well. the enchantments were gorgeous, the candles were gorgeous, everything was decorated in the way it should have been. however, as the group made it down the staircase leading into the great hall, they quickly met up with harry, ron and the patil twins. as the girls (angelina, lee's date, astoria, padma and pavarti) all conversed, it was obvious the way george's eyes danced at astoria's right leg which was very much exposed from the slit but was shown even more so by the way she stood as she spoke with angelina and the patil twins, lee's date was just contently listening. 

"cat got your tongue, georgie?" fred teased, noticing that his brother had been staring at astoria's right leg, which was of course on full display 

"shut up, fred," george whispered with a shy smile before noticing that fred was no longer paying attention to him, striking up conversation with lee again, he looked back down at her leg

george's twin was very quick to call out his younger brother at his behaviour. but of course, once the teenager had finished blushing, alongside astoria, that didn't stop him from his eyesight going back down just for one last look. before he looked back up to see hermione, astoria's younger sister making her own descent down the stairs and smiling at how gorgeous the younger granger sister looked. 

george smiled at the way astoria immediately rushed over to her sister and gushed at how gorgeous she had looked in her pink frock and her beautiful hairstyle. it was the joy and care that astoria had for everybody that george loved so much about her. no matter who it was, even the slytherin's, astoria always cared about everyone and she always tried to be as joyful as she could. always celebrating those who deserved to be celebrated and always congratulating those who did something as simple as learning a new spell or getting a passing grade on their assignment. 

it had gotten to the time of the yule ball where the four triwizard champions and their dates would lead the waltz that everyone had been spending the last couple of weeks learning since it was a tradition. so, all the other students that weren't the four champions and their dates all crowded around the dance floor and waited for the four champions (viktor krum & hermione granger, fleur delacour & roger davis, cedric diggory & cho chang and harry potter & parvati patil) lead themselves onto the dance floor. 

and let's just say, it really threw ron off his rocker to see hermione look so gorgeous that he refused to admit it was hermione. to the point that when his date, padma patil, asked her if it was hermione he replied with "no, it can't be!" even though he knew it was her, he was just arrogant maybe. but it totally made astoria giggle and feel slightly better that he was now getting his just deserts for not asking hermione as his date, not because she wanted him to be punished but because astoria wanted ron to realise just how much he truly loved her.

after the four champions and their dates had led the first dance, other students and staff members joined in, including george & astoria, lee and his date and fred & angelina. but, in all truthfullness, george was barely paying any attention to the dance steps because he was way too focused on astoria and just how good she looked. it was after the group was all knackered after they had started the mosh pit during the weird sisters' performance when astoria had realised that for the last good few minutes, maybe even longer, george had been staring at her with his mouth slightly open and eyes that looked like he had just truly fell in love. 

"...close your mouth weasley, don't want you catching any flies," astoria smiles softly, her pointer finger barely grazing her best friend's chin before pushing it upwards, to close george's mouth as he smiled, pulling her in for a hug as the girl smiled and accepted it straight away

this was what george thought was the moment in which he had fallen head over heels in love with his best friend but, it was actually the moment after. the moment in which they heard screaming and arguing of their younger siblings, ron and hermione, and astoria's immediate response to rush over and handle it. to console and comfort her little sister hermione as well as apologise to harry who did not deserve to be yelled at to go back to bed by hermione like ron deserved to.

thankfully, harry accepted astoria's apology, which was meant to be hermione's, and wished the two girls a good night's sleep as he did turn himself in for the night. even though he didn't need to even after being wrongfully yelled at by hermione, he still did. george then watched as hermione, with astoria's help, threw her heels off, rubbed her aching feet and curled up against her sister as she cried.

feeling awful for the argument she had with ron and inadvertently, harry. also crying to her sister about how she wished she hadn't yelled at harry and that he didn't deserve her anger which astoria smiled at. caressing her sister's face, astoria curled a piece of escaped hair behind hermione's ear and explained that harry forgave her from the apology she had given on hermione's behalf. 

"...it's okay mione, don't get too upset over this. everything will sort itself out, whether it's by the end of this year or fifth year. the reason why ronald is acting like this isn't because he's purposefully being mean or rude...he's just...simply not realising his feelings for you are more than friendly or he's just trying to ignore them because he doesn't think that you could ever like him back like that in the way he thinks viktor likes you..." that last sentence almost came out sour as astoria finally remembered how old viktor was in comparrison to her fifteen year old sister

"...besides...a similar thing is happening between me and george...i have the fattest crush on him and literally could have screamed the entire castle down when george asked me to be his date tonight. but, honestly, i don't even think he has the same feelings as i do but, at this point, i'm just grateful that he's my best friend. and that he's stuck by me for so long since first year just like you, ronald and harry have. and i guess that's why i'm not too worried if george doesn't like me any further than that because i'd rather keep him as my best friend if i can't have anything romantic with him because then, my life would truly be boring if i didn't have george in my life..." astoria trailed off, knowing full well that george wasn't not listening to the conversation

"...so...mione, for now, just be glad that not only do you have harry as a best friend but ronald as well. sure, he can be a little thick but, you guys have to remember, you're so young. you guys are fourteen you guys are so young and have got so much time to figure out your love life and what crush is more than just a crush and when it isn't," astoria smiled, her hand cupping her younger sister's as hermione smiled and nodded her head

"but, in all seriousness hermione jean, i have full belief that one day, you and ron will be together because you guys are soulmates. and...truthfully...even though i've yelled at ronald more times than i can count throughout this year, i still wouldn't want any other boy marrying you..." astoria had the perfect way to comfort everyone and it never mattered if it was her sister like right now, any of the weasley's, harry or even a first-year that was crying

and, it was obvious that this was the moment that george fell head over heels in love with his best friend but, what really sold it to him was what he heard hermione's response to her sister was after she had thanked her for comforting her...

"...i mean, truthfully, speaking of you and george, tori, i wouldn't want any other boy marrying you either..." although the granger sisters were giggling, it was obvious that they didn't want their sister to marry anyone else other than the two weasley's (george and ronald)

even though george knew it wasn't okay to eavesdrop other people's conversations, he couldn't help himself. it was as though whenever astoria comforted someone that george was being pulled by astoria to listen to her. if there was any true moment that had george falling in love with astoria, it was this moment right here. during the yule ball during the triwizard tournament in their sixth year at hogwarts.

first date

after the yule ball, george couldn't help himself but tell astoria how he really felt about her the very next day. he couldn't explain it to anyone why it had taken him this long but, he was overjoyed when he told her and she reciprocated his feelings.

although, the confidence he usually possesses failed due to how nervous he got around astoria, she didn't care that he felt the way he did. it gave her some relief to know that he wasn't just a ball of confidence and slight arrogance, he had feelings. 

however, he eventually managed to get past the stammering mess he had become and asked if he could also take astoria out on a 'romantic' date. the friends had been on many dates before back home at the burrow during the holidays that hadn't been spent at hogwarts or hogsmeade during school. but, they had been what they called 'best friend dates' where they didn't do anything other than play magical games and watched movies. however, no matter how many times they tried to convince the family and their friends, no one believed them when they said nothing romantic during those dates had happened. 

for their first romantic date, george wanted it to be memorable, of course he did, he was that type of person. anything he did with astoria, he made unforgettable, even if it sometimes went a little awry due to spells going wrong or other things. however, during those moments, george and astoria always took photos, george with his wizard camera and astoria with her muggle polaroid. the photos safetly in a little scrapbook that hermione had gifted her older sister. until george and astoria decided to make another one for their relationship now they were boyfriend and girlfriend.

 so whilst george and astoria couldn't remember every little thing, they would always have those magical photos that moved and the photos that were taken on the muggle polaroid to remember them by. george always made sure that they brought both cameras with them so they always had memories of the date they went on. even though george didn't remember everything else, he never needed a magical or muggle camera since he always seemed to memorise everything about astoria. even the little things like what she was wearing, the perfume she sprayed, to the way she styled her hair. george was never one to forget anything when it came to his best friend turned lover.

dressed in an off-the-shoulder maxi dress, her dirty blonde hair curled in a half-up-half-down style that was held by a white bow at the base of her head with white converse high tops, astoria couldn't hide the smile on her face when george dragged her into hogsmeade. he then excitedly dragged the both of them into madam puddifoots cafe. in a pair of george's best jeans and a button-down shirt, george couldn't hide the butterflies in his tummy as he held onto astoria's hand as they walked into the cafe whilst they stopped occasionally to take photos of each other with astoria's muggle polaroid and george's magic camera. 

it was on this date that george knew he couldn't wait a moment later before he kissed her on the lips. in all honesty, that was something he wanted to do back at the yule ball when they went as each other's dates but, he, unfortunately, didn't do it because being around so many people and on hogwarts grounds slightly scared him. the more stricter teachers would not have found the weasley and granger kissing apporpriate at all but, because they were now at madam puddifoots in hogsmeade, away from teachers and other students, he decided now was the perfect time to kiss astoria. 

however, that didn't stop his mind though from spinning in imagination as many a scenario would play out in george's head as to how, when, where and all the other bits and bobs of kissing astoria and what it would be like. however, at this moment right here, in madam puddifoot's cafe, where there were only a small handful of other couples walking and sitting and eating food together, george knew he could do it and get away with it for he knew he wouldn't get in trouble by one of his hogwarts professors if they did see it. 

carefully moving a piece of hair that was covering astoria's forehead, "would it be absolutely ludicrous right now if i just kissed you, stori?" george smiled with confidence as astoria smiled brightly, biting her lip slightly 

"not at all, georgie, not ludicrous at all," she smiled, her heart racing as butterflies flew all over her body as the excitement truly started, her breathing becoming heavy and slightly loud

the two inched closer and closer together before george took control, his hand resting against astoria's chin. his elbow resting on the table that separated them, slightly lifting it up as he then moved his mouth closer to hers as much as he could without the table getting in the way before his lips then encapsulated hers. it was like their bodies (even with the table in the middle of them) moulded together whilst they kissed and, it felt like it was perfect in that they were truly made to fit each other and be each other's soulmates or twin flames. 

pulling back, the two sixteen-year-old sixth years started giggling, "that was bloody amazing!" george whispered as astoria couldn't have agreed more as she nodded her head

moving out of her seat and next to george, she huffed out, "it really was...wow...can we do that again?" she was breathless with the biggest smile she had ever smiled as george happily nodded again as they kissed again and, this time, it was a lot more passionate 

who knew that finally, the older granger and weasley would be caught making out in madam puddifoot's cafe for their first date? clearly, the two were wrong in thinking that the golden trio didn't sneak out underneath the invisibility cloak to spy on them. the golden trio actually nearly gave themselves away when hermione had accidentally mistepped on ron's foot, causing ron to nearly shriek out in pain before either harry or hermione silenced him with their hand over his mouth. yeah, having to explain that once george and astoria found out was not the easiest conversation they've had...

proposal

george and astoria continued dating throughout the rest of their sixth year and into their seventh year before both twins, fred and george decided to drop out to continue their weasley wizard wheezes joke shop whilst astoria stayed to finish her final year at hogwarts before she'd then join the twins at the joke shop. 

the joke shop that the twins were able to start in the first place due to harry giving them his winnings from the triwizard tournament after he had won the last task. as well as evidently the whole tournament after cedric had died at little hangleton graveyard after lord voldemort indeed returned. killing cedric, whom according to the dark wizard was the spare, the tournament had finally become dangerous and came to its end. the fact it wasn't stopped earlier after allowing a fourteen year old to compete still blew astoria's mind but she was just glad it was over. if they had cancelled the tournament, they could have just allowed the beauxbatons and durmstrang students to stay for an exchange year rather than risking the lives of students.

anyway, that was years ago now and it wasn't until after the golden trio's final year at hogwarts that the battle of hogwarts/second wizarding war had claimed the lives of many. lord voldemort's most importantly as well as innocent ones like george's own twin brother fred, tonks, remus lupin, professor snape and lavender brown to name a few. that afterwards george had come out of his grief slump and decided it was time for him to propose to astoria and marry her after almost essentially ignoring her not on purpose but because of his grief.

during george's planning of how he was going to propose to astoria, he had to be smart. in her seventh year, hermione had erased the memory of her and astoria's parents, having them immigrate to australia for their safety due to being muggles. and due to that, george couldn't just travel to australia and ask them to marry their daughter since they now had no recollection of who either of their daughters were.

so, instead, george asked astoria's only other relative which was hermione. and, one of astoria's dreams as a kid whilst being a witch and able to go to hogwarts was to ultimately get married to the love of her life and build a family and a life with them for the rest of her life. astoria had always dreamt of getting proposed to in front of her close group of friends which included the weasley family (now including percy as well since he had now left the ministry), the golden trio, the silver trio (luna, neville and ginny), lee jordan and some of astoria's friends. 

and, this was something that george knew all too well as did hermione so, with hermione's help, george made up a plan to get all of their friends and family together, to dress up fancy similar to how they did for the yule ball back in their sixth, fourth and third years. so, after astoria had given out that information about her dream proposal, that was when george and hermione went to work to plan it out to a perfect tee...and they did. 

george proposed to astoria at what he advertised as a hogwarts reunion for their friendship groups which had people who were three years younger then them to the golden trio's year all for the purpose of the engagement of george and astoria. so, whilst it was "advertised" to everyone else as a regular catch up party with the yule ball-like dress code, it quickly turned into a celebration for george and astoria's engagement party. and that was because that's what it was because the second everyone arrived, mr and mrs weasley were going to begin what would be george's proposal to astoria.

*

astoria was dressed up from head to toe, all for what she thought was a regular catch up with her school friends. astoria was wearing a similar dress to the one she wore in her sixth year at the yule ball but this time it was in red with some sparkly heels. her hair curled with her nails in a gel x set done by herself. george, also dressed up lavishly in some nice dress pants, a buttoned-down shirt with his sleeves rolled up. a few buttons of his shirt left open and his gorgeous ginger hair nicely styled with some nice shiny dress shoes.

the couple then made their way back to the burrow for the party, which they had used an enchanment to make it bigger so everyone in attendance could comfortably fit, the emerald engagement ring sitting in a red velvet box that sat in george's back pant pocket. 

smiling and giving hugs to everyone who made it to the party, astoria couldn't hide away her smile at the sudden joy after all the war and devastation that had happened and, it seemed as if george couldn't either considering what he was minutes away from doing. then, with a small moment of eye contact with her son, molly weasley got her cue to tap her champagne flute to catch everyone's attention. 

as soon as molly got everyone's attention, george & astoria, moved to the front where molly had just silently exited as astoria gave her boyfriend a strange look. taking a deep breath in, george smiled shyly as astoria couldn't seem to figure out her boyfriend and why he was suddenly acting so strange. 

"astoria, we've been best friends since that first day on platform 9¾ when we were eleven years old and waiting to go on the hogwarts express for the first time. ever since i could remember, we were jokesters but, never ever did that mean we'd play jokes on each other. no, we knew there was a line...an unspoken line that we knew wasn't to be crossed and that was pranking each other. that, of course, didn't apply to the rest of our family however but, that's a different conversation for another day..." george paused which caused some laughter as astoria watched on in awe as she couldn't tear her eyes away from her boyfriend 

"...however, in saying all of that, you were so much more than just pranks and being troublemakers. there was always more to you than just telling jokes and getting into trouble and it was during those moments where i started to notice similar things about myself too. of course, i love pranks and making people laugh but, i think my love and admiration for you trumped everything else..." astoria had never seen a gentler expression on her face like she was now and it not only confused her but it made her heart sing

"...you were the girl that was so loving and helpful to everyone else within the school, even if they didn't deserve it or they were someone that had previously wronged you. you were the girl that took time out of her own schedule if it was a school day, to console that first-year student that was being tortured by umbridge in our seventh-year before fred and i left..." george trailed off again as his face became shaky as tears welled in his eyes as astoria's eyes filled with worry

"...but, most importantly, you were the girl that saved so many lives and consoled those who knew they weren't going to make it but wanted someone's hand to hold and their tears to be wiped away. for them to be cuddled as they slipped away as peacefully as they could in their final moments. you were the girl that not only saved my life after losing my twin but you also saved the rest of my family after fred's death..." astoria couldn't believe what george was revealing to all these people whom they dearly loved as he continued

"...you didn't just take time out of the days following the war to console me, you took time to comfort and console my entire family. charlie, you helped comfort him by notifying him immediately and picking him up from hogsmeade. bill & fleur, you constantly visited shell cottage and brought them ready made meals that just needed to be heated up. percy, you constantly reminded him that it wasn't his fault that fred died, you made him see sense and reminded him that he had penelope and a loving family who were just grateful that he got to come home even though we still hadn't fully forgiven him at the time..." all of astoria's friends watched as george continued his speech about how lovely and helpful of a person she was and it was the sweetest thing they'd ever seen

"...ron...you...you sat with him as he screamed and tore his room to shreds and you just sat in silence as you allowed him to vent his frustrations, helping him through his grief everyday for months. ginny...you knew how exhausted she was and knew her breaking points better than any of us did. you'd sleep with her in the nights that she'd cry, even cradeling her in your lap when she was inconsolable and the rest of us were useless in helping her. and...you also helped harry and hermione with their grief after the war but, you also did so much more for us before the war started and since it's end. however, you have consoled me in ways that i never thought were possible. i thought straight after fred died that i'd never be able to smile again and that i'd never be able to joke again..." george really was on the verge of tears and it still frightened astoria since it was rare for george to be upset these days

"...but...because of you, i have been able to smile and joke again, astoria. i...i love you so much more than i can ever say or articulate and i cannot believe how fun it's been to be your best friend and boyfriend. but, there's just one last thing i want you to be and that's my wife, how does mrs weasley sound to you?" he smiled shakily as he finally bent down to his knee, the red velvet box opening to reveal the beautiful emerald ring

and, obviously, astoria was at a loss for words whilst everyone around her was cheering in excitement, "what...georgie...who...who did you even ask? hermione and i's parents are in australia...their memory charm was never...who..."

"...who do you think i asked, stori? did you seriously just forget about your sister?" george whispered as it never occured to astoria that george would even think to ask hermione for her permission

"you...you asked my sister's permission, georgie?" astoria squealed as tears rose in her eyes as george relaxed and smiled, nodding his hand as everyone waited patiently

"of course i did, stori. who else would i have asked? i know i can't ask your bloody parents since they'd have no bloody clue who you are anymore and i wouldn't ask my parents if i could marry you. so, i asked hermione and, truthfully, she was delighted when i asked her and didn't even hesitate and i hadn't even finished the sentence. she just heard me say the words marriage, proposal and permission and said yes straight away..." george chuckled tearfully as astoria giggled tearfully but still hadn't said yes so, george reminded her lovingly 

"...you have to say yes, stori!" george chuckled, his body now shaking since he had been on one knee for a little bit longer than he had expected to be as astoria giggled in apology 

"yes! oh my gosh, yes, george! of course i'll marry you!" astoria chuckled as she then went to kneel down, grabbing george's head and smashed her lips onto his 

she then grabbed the ring out of the box and helped george to place it on her ring finger. placing it on her finger as it shined ethereally in the sun that had now started to set. the now engaged couple rose from the ground as everyone started to explode in joyful praise. 

after the engagement, the party partied for a few more hours until the engaged couple turned themselves into george's room in the burrow and just curled up and celebrated together and silently. after making a cute little controlled fire in the corner of the room, george and astoria sat together, astoria on george's lap as they just talked with each other in hushed whispers as the rest of the party had retired back inside. the ones that were staying in the burrow (hermione and harry) going back into their rooms and falling asleep and didn't want to disturb them. 

"...i love you so much, georgie!" astoria whispered as she cuddled into her fiancé as they held hands as george smiled tearfully the biggest grin he had ever smiled, not just since the battle but ever

"i love you too, stori!" george whispered back, a small sniffle heard next as he chuckled at how emotional he had gotten, after promising he wouldn't even though he knew he would because of what he would include in his speech

"this ring is gorgeous, george. you didn't need to buy it, i would have happily flexed a paper ring or even a muggle ring pop. who helped you buy it? or did you get it yourself?" astoria couldn't take her eyes off of the emerald engagement ring that was now resting on her ring finger that was the exact engagement ring she had dreamt of being proposed to with as george smiled, a small giggle leaving his throat

"after i asked hermione for her permission to marry you, she gave me some money and showed me a polaroid of the dream emerald you had shown her one day back in her third year of what you wanted if you were to ever get married whether or not it was to me and said buy this one. i'd also marry you with a paper ring or a muggle ring pop but, i knew it had to be this ring because it's what you deserve and one you've always wanted," george smiled, his eyes sparkling as astoria was in shock, softly pulling her fiancé in for a hug 

"mione did that for me? for us? she legitmately gave you some of her galleons? like, maybe up to a thousand of them and found that polaroid of this exact emerald ring and bought it for me as an engagement ring? and i never thought i could love my little sister more than anything in this world... we're actually going to get married, georgie! i...i can't believe it!" astoria's voice fell down to a whisper as she shook her head in disbelief 

"i know. i said the same thing, i was shocked too but, mione was adament that i accept the money and buy the ring. and it is actually happening my love, we're gonna get married!" george whispered back as he wiped a tear away with his pyjama sleeve as he gave his fiancée a kiss on the nose, making her giggle 

then, after another five minutes of the couple having some quiet time, and had a quick chat about planning the wedding, they decided to join the siblings (excluding charlie and percy who were exhausted and asleep and obviously mr and mrs weasley who were also asleep) for a sweet little movie night that had nearly all the couples (so bill & fleur, george & astoria, ron & hermione and harry & ginny) because they were all in relationships now in the lounge room alongside luna and neville who were not in a relationship together but had been invited for the movie night.

after the movies (yes, they watched more than one movie) everyone else apart from ron, hermione, luna, ginny and fleur went back up to sleep when the newly engaged couple spoke up about who should be in their wedding party. with the group that was still awake, they came to the conclusion that everyone that was watching the movies with them so, bill & fleur, ron & hermione, harry & ginny and neville & luna would be in the wedding party. but, specifically, hermione would be maid of honour and ron would be best man with the others the bridesmaids and groomsmen. arthur would walk astoria down the aisle because obviously as mentioned earlier, mr and mrs granger no longer had any recollection of being parents to astoria and hermione. and later figured out the ring bearer and flower girl. 

wedding

astoria felt as if she was having a fever dream. she had found it hard to believe that right now, she was staring back at herself in her dream wedding dress, hair done, makeup done, high heels on and was just about to have a first look with her bridal party. 

taking a deep breath in, astoria fought so hard to keep her tears at bay as she stepped out into the staircase that the bridal party were waiting with their eyes closed for her. even though she wasn't facing her bridesmaids and maid of honour, she just knew they'd fully freak out so, she waited for as long as she could before turned herself around and getting the girls to open their eyes. however, the girls were getting very impatient and finally, astoria decided to just turn herself around and get the girls to open their eyes. 

"...okay, i'm gonna stop being so mean. you girls can open your eyes now!" astoria giggled softly as the muggle wedding photographer took photos and the wizard videographer filmed as the girls then turned around 

as though it was in slow motion, the reactions from ginny, luna, fleur, hermione and angelica were probably the sweetest and best reactions anyone could have wished for during a first look. immediately, the girls rushed over to the bride and hugged her. of course, they then complimented her and told her just how gorgeous she looked. astoria then turned herself around with the help of fleur and showed them the back of her dress which was open back with pearl beading that had been continued from the front of it. 

"this dress is gorgeous, tori. where did you find it?" angelica gushed, her hands only now leaving her mouth as astoria smiled and then turned to her sister-in-law fleur 

"isn't it just, angelica? and, i wish i knew but, i have to say ask fleur since it was actually her that found it and bought it for me. so, again, thank you so much fleur for finding my absolute dream wedding dress!" astoria gushed as fleur smiled modestly, not wanting to be the centre of attention on the wedding day of her sister-in-law

"don't do that, astoria! but thank you if you really must!" fleur smiled softly as the girls giggled, hermione and ginny both beaming at their sister and sister-in-law and her beauty 

the bridal party then led the way to the chapel where george and astoria would wed in so they could do the procession into the wedding. 

waiting at the backdoor of the chapel that then led into one of the prettiest wedding venues ever seen, astoria was patient and didn't seem to be as anxious as she thought she'd be. after the first look she had with her bridal party, she refused to see anyone else beforehand, fearing that it would throw her off and make her panic. she hadn't even done a first look with george like they originally planned on doing, deciding that it would be best to just do one with the bridal party. astoria was patiently waiting for arthur, george's dad and her soon-to-be father-in-law who would walk her down the aisle. 

speaking of arthur, he had now come up behind astoria, a soft touch to her exposed back, letting her know that he was there and ready to walk her down the aisle. turning around with a shy smile on her face, it shocked her a little to see arthur's prideful look that shone in his eyes. it was obvious at how happy arthur was to have astoria not only marry into the family but also marrying george. it wasn't a secret at how much arthur and molly, but especially arthur, always loved astoria like his own daughter. so, it was an honour for arthur to be given the job of walking her down the aisle to george. 

"hey, astoria. you ready?" arthur whispered as he looked in awe of his soon-to-be daughter-in-law, his smile wide and eyes sparkling in joy 

"hey, arthur. yeah, i am ready!" astoria's smile grew tenfold as she saw her father-in-law to be as the man who'd lead her down the aisle to her husband

"well then, let's go, shall we?" arthur spoke with a smile that made all of his wrinkles ultra defined as astoria nodded her head, immediately grabbing his hand as he then tucked it in between the both of them, his other hand over the top of the encapsulated hands 

with the doors opened the processional music as a piano version of beethoven crossed with elvis' i can't help falling in love heard loud and clear as arthur weasley and astoria started their walk down the aisle. keeping her eyes ahead of her, she never could have missed the looks of everyone around her as they all looked at the eldest granger girl in all her wedding day glory. 

whilst she thought it would happen, it did still shock her to see george crying as he waited ever so patiently at the altar with ron, his best man, right next to him. the biggest smile overtaking his face. the rest of the groomsmen were smiling as well, the bridesmaids were too, hermione though was fighting back tears at how gorgeous her older sister was. 

as they finally reached the end of the aisle, george and ron right in front of them, arthur gave his daughter-in-law to be the sweetest forehead kiss before a small "congratulations and please take care of each other," was whispered when astoria was finally given away to her husband. looking at each other in excitement and quite honestly, astoundment, kingsley shacklebolt who was the officant, had seated everyone in their seats so he could start the ceremony. 

"welcome to all family and friends, loved ones and ones that were found at the steps of hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardy *giggles*. we are all gathered here today to celebrate the union of george weasley and astoria granger. all of us are here to support this commitment of love and to share the joy of the life of george and astoria as they choose to spend their lives together in holy matrimony." kingsley introduced, everyone back in their seats and listening intently 

"george and astoria, your marriage will be a lifelong promise to love, respect, trust and honour one another through the good, the bad, the unexpected and the expected. this union represents your commitment to support one another as individual persons but share your joys, sorrows, trials, tribulations and dreams as one. a strong bond works in unison not only to nurture the best parts of your personalities but to understand each other's differences and flaws, not that you two really have any *giggles*. you are commiting to learn how to grow alongside each other whilst remembering to keep an open mind throughout your journey together." 

"today, you gain an equal partner that will be your confidant, your defender, your protector and your motivator through every aspiration, goal and success. you will celebrate each accomplishment, provide peace through every setback and most importantly, give love in life's both big and little moments." 

"you two are creating a new home together, where love, trust and loyalty are the foundations. no matter what the future throws your way, rely on those foundations and you shall only see your bond grow stronger and your souls grow even wiser because with you two put together, you're already so wise." 

"marriage is not easy, trust me, i mean it but, from what i've seen in you two from when you first started dating to how you guys acted in the war, i know your relationship will be an example for all the other couples here, whether they are already married or new couples. you two show care, compassion, empathy, you trust one another, but most importantly, you two never stopped being each other's best friend." 

"now, george and astoria, please join hands and face each other," chuckling and momentarily closing his eyes, george grabbed astoria's hands and faced each other, opening his eyes instantly, "george, do you take astoria to be your wife?" 

"i do," he smiled, softly biting his lip as he caressed astoria's hand to calm himself down

"astoria, do you take george to be your husband?" 

"i do," astoria hadn't ever been so sure of anything other than when she first joined dumbledore's army as she smiled, nodding eagerly 

"the couple will now do their personal vows," kingsley announced, george unlatching his hands from astoria's to quickly wipe away the sweat off his hands, astoria giggling slightly before holding them tightly again - george had memorised his vows 

"astoria elouise granger," he giggled as a tear fell from his cheek before he had even started as astoria smiled lovingly, her head slightly tilted

"you were my first ever best friend that wasn't my twin brother fred or the rest of my siblings and we did everything together the second we crossed paths on the hogwarts express. you, me and fred were the pranksters of gryffindor house and quite frankly, the whole of hogwarts. which meant that a lot of people found us annoying, didn't like us or only liked us for our humour..." george joked, everyone invited to the wedding liked george and astoria for more than just their humour

"however, whilst you were just as much of a prankster as i was, you never let that ruin or take time away from your academics. because, of course, like your sister after you, you are the brighest witch of our year level, just like your sister being the brighest witch of her age." george managed to compose himself and continued

"i think i had always loved you, from that first day we made eye contact to the moment i actually put my big boy pants on and told you in sixth year but, it wasn't until christmas during the yule ball, seeing you in your gorgeous white halter neck dress that you wore that i really realised what all those feelings that i'd had about you were..." george trailed off with a shy look as giggles filled the chapel

"...it all of a sudden made sense, the reason why i was so awkward and shy around you was because you always rendered me shy and speechless in situations where i'd usually always have something to say. which would then cause fred or lee to tease me but it was usually fred that did the teasing whenever i became tongue tied in front of you..." choking back a sob, george took a deep breath as his eyes momentarily moved to see everyone listening intently and continued

"...we told each other everyday we loved each other if we were going to circle back to that comment i made at the beginning. even when we were pranking everyone around us, there was never a moment we didn't say those three words to one another. however, there was a line in the sand that we never crossed when it came to pranks and that was pranking each other. and it's a line we still don't cross all these years later and i think it's because of the mutual respect we have for each other, coming from that very first day we met," george smiled at his soon to be wife as she smiled back

"now i understand why our families loved to tease us so much over our friendship throughout the years. it definitely started as a friendship when we were eleven, twelve and thirteen but, once we reached fourteen, fifteen, sixteen and beyond, it was more than just a friendship but an unspoken promise to one another that there wasn't other people we were searching for. the yule ball was a very pivotal moment in our relationship, but not because of the dress you wore which everyone knew just how much i loved but because of what happened after..." george again trailed off as his hands became sweaty again

"...you comforted your sister because of a silly argument she had had with ron and harry. which we won't go into detail but, then it clicked in my head, whilst i love it when you dress up and feel gorgeous in what you're wearing, that's not important to me. it's never been about what you're wearing to me, astoria, of course, you always look beautiful in anything you wear but especially this dress but, none of that matters..." george was becoming passionate and it reminded astoria of what made her fall in love with him in the first place

"...it didn't matter if you were dressed up or if you were in your school uniform or in jeans and a sweater or your pyjamas with your hair frizzy and messy. all that matters is that i love you all of the time, whether we are fully in love or whether we're having a silly little argument. you are my entire constellation astoria. if i thought eleven year old george couldn't live without you, he must have been insane because he was not prepared for twenty-one year old george who can barely function like a normal person without you near me. you still love me even when i'm ignoring fred's bedroom because i just wish and wish that ignoring his empty bedroom is going to take away the fact that he isn't going to come back when it isn't. you still love me when i don't even feel the same way about myself..." george was completely in love with astoria and it was now on show for everyone to see and they couldn't help but smile

"...you still love me when i feel like there's nothing else left of me to be loved. you help me stay on my own two feet and i can only wish that i can say i do the same and i wish i could do the same for you. because i really do love you astoria and i want you to know that i promise every single day that i'll love you until i can't anymore," he concludes with a gentle wipe of his cheeks of the tears he shed as a small kiss was placed on astoria's palm

astoria was usually a tough cookie, however, now she was scared because how on earth could she follow up and top her husband's vows to the point that everything she thought she had memorised was now gone out of her brain with a small "poof" sound effect. noticing the fearful look in her eyes, george chuckled softly, providing her with another kiss to calm her down. 

"you're seriously asking me to follow that? how am i going to top my husband? why am i so crap at rock, paper, scissors?" everyone collapsed into laughter after that as everyone could see how worried savannah was as she then truly started her vows. 

"mischief managed, just two little words that i heard more times than i wish i could explain. it was fred and george's little thing that one day i stumbled in on one day after i noticed what the twins had stolen from filch's office. at first i thought it was just a stupid piece of parchment that they were practicing hexes and charms on. boy was i wrong though..." giggles fill the chapel as astoria looks lovingly at her soon to be husband

"...it was a beautiful map made up of the entire school and everyone inside of the school was captured in this map and the incantation to hide it from others was mischief managed. and really, that was something that george was not, he was full of mischief that was never managed, even at the best of times. but i think that was what i loved the most about him from the very beginning. he didn't take himself too seriously and he allowed himself to be funny when everyone else refused to be. however, there was a memory i have where his mischief was managed and it showed me that george was more than just a prankster..."

"...it was our seventh year, umbridge was the defense against the dark arts teacher and, we all know how awful that time was..." astoria paused as george tightened his grip as astoria made him relax

"...i had just been tortured by her in her office, i remember it like it was yesterday because i still have the scars to prove it on my hand to this very day and i think everyone who faced her does too. i was in so much pain and i didn't even know what i was doing wrong. i was passing every single class, including dada even though umbridge's way of teaching was way less than satisfactory, i still managed to get into trouble with her. causing myself into a detention that i still to this day think i didn't deserve. anyway, i went to the detention and had to write lines and lines that said one simple but hurtful word..." astoria felt her lips tremble as she held herself together as george held her hand tighter

"...i don't think it will take anyone here too long to figure out what the word was but it was mudblood. and the only reason why she gave me a detention was because of the fact that i am a mudblood as is hermione, my sister. after the detention, because of how much my hand hurt, i didn't want to spend any time with george or fred. i just wanted to go up to bed because i wanted to cry and go to sleep. but, george didn't let me do that, he forced me to stay awake in the common room and persisted for me to show him my hand. he knew something terrible had to have happened in that pink office that bothered me because it was the first time george had seen me in so much pain..." astoria breathed deeply before continuing as she smiled at george

"...so, i showed him and obviously, he was furious. he hated what that witch had done to my hand when i had done nothing wrong but was punished for my status as a witch. i had never seen george be so angry before but it reminded me that he wasn't just a prankster. another memory i have of george and i together was actually in our second year at hogwarts and it was christmas time. we had been pleading and pleading both parents to let us stay for the christmas holidays because all of our friends were and we wanted to experience christmas at hogwarts..." giggles suddenly came from around the room, including astoria and george

"...reluctantly, molly and arthur along with my parents agreed and neither of us went home on the hogwarts express for christmas that year. i had never been so excited to wake up christmas morning at hogwarts and celebrate with fred, george, lee and the rest of our friend group. however, i had never expected to be gifted a present by george. and because i never expected a present, i never had one let alone got one for him. he asked about it on christmas but i said it was still on it's way via owl post and it was just taking a while because it was a little bit big...well, sorry babe but, i just said that because i was panicking and i had never prepared myself for the possibility of you getting me a christmas present that year..." astoria giggled with an apologetic look on her face as george shook his head and giggled

"...there have been so many ways in which george has come to my rescue, whether it was in seventh year with the pink witch, the war or even our first year when i was getting bullied for my hair and intelligence. causing me to be constantly asked why i was in gryffindor and not ravenclaw if i was a smartypants. i think there was a reason why i was put in gryffindor and every single year i proved to everyone why i was sorted into gryffindor..." everyone cheered which made george and astoria giggle as she continued

"...george, you ground me in ways i can never articulate properly. you keep my head above water, you give me permission to be scared when we're in our own privacy and you allow me to be a geek and have my head in the clouds when it comes to the silliest things whether it's in the muggle or wizarding world. you provide me with a flashlight when i can't see two feet in front of me, i can only try with every ounce of my being to do what you've always provided for me since childhood, despite the fact you have also gone through unimaginable things that are not fair. i promise to guide you through the rest of our lives together. i promise to care for you every single day, through your laughter, pranks, tantrums, headaches and tears," astoria smiled as she then came to the end of her vows which were the most powerful part of the entire speech

"george fabian weasley, i will always and i mean always love you just as i did on that first day when i was the small, bushy, frizzy dirty blonde haired girl with the pigtails at platform 9¾ waiting to start our hogwarts journey where mischief has definitely been managed,"after wiping away some tears, astoria and george giggled and held hands again 

ted tonks, harry's godson and the son of remus and tonks lupin, walked down the aisle with the two wedding rings. after giving uncle george and aunty astoria hugs, he walked back to his seat in the front row after getting a wink from harry and sat next to molly. 

"your rings represent this promise to one another. the never ending circle is a symbol of an infinite, unbreakable love." kingsley began, a small smile on his lips. "george, take this ring and place it on astoria's finger and repeat after me, astoria, i give you this ring as a symbol of the promise i made to you today," grabbing astoria's hand, george effortlessly slid the wedding ring onto her finger 

"astoria, i give you this ring as a symbol of the promise i made to you today." he smiled brightly as astoria smiled back at him 

"astoria, take this ring and place it on george's finger and repeat after me, george, i give you this ring as a symbol of the promise i made to you today," her smaller hand grasped the larger one of george's as she effortlessly slid his wedding ring onto his finger 

"george, i give you this ring as a symbol of the promise i made to you today," astoria smiled as she then squeezed his fingers before grabbing a hold of his hands normally 

"having pledged your love and promise to one another today in front of all your friends and family, by the power vested in me and the ministry of magic, i now pronounce you husband and wife. weasley, give your wife a goddamn kiss!" kingsley exclaimed, stepping out of the way for the wizard videographer and the muggle photographer so they could film and take photos 

this was when george decided to surprise everyone and astoria. with one hand on her waist and the other on her back, he pulled his wife closer as they attached their lips he then bent down to kiss her even deeper. squealing, astoria held george as tightly as she had ever held him. 

"george fabian weasley!" astoria squealed into the kiss and everyone giggled at the usage of george's full name as astoria was inches away from the ground before being brought back up to continue the kiss 

the now-married couple after having their first kiss as mr and mrs weasley, smiled into the kiss as they head kingsley announce:

"congratulations guys! friends and family, distinguished guests, it is my absolute honour to introduce to you, mr and mrs weasley!" followed by an uproarious applause which alerted the couple to move out of the extremely long kiss, fingers interwoven as the couple waved to the crowd before strutting down the aisle hand in hand 

later in the night duirng the reception, hermione, the maid of honour and ron, the best man, got everyone's attentions for the speeches. it had been clear that throughout the wedding, hermione and ron had gotten emotional and cried a couple times throughout the ceremony so, it was now their turn to make george and astoria cry for a little bit of payback.

"okay, i know ron and i promised the married couple that we'd save our real speeches for afterwards back at the burrow but, just for a little bit of payback for making us cry, we decided we'd say our real speeches now and say the fake ones later," hermione announces which makes everyone giggle, hermione had really thrown away her rulebook now, george shying away into his wife's shoulder as she giggled, patting her husband's hair lovingly as ron grabbed the microphone 

"okay, for those who don't know, i am ron,  the best man and also the younger brother of george. so, obviously, because of that fact, i have a wealth of knowledge and dirt on george that i could just expose to you all right now but, i think that will be sprinkled throughout the fake speech back at home at the burrow *giggles*. ever since i could remember, along with fred, george was a bloody menace to all of the siblings but most especially to myself and ginny. but i won't talk about the menacing things he did because amongst those pranks he played, he was also a protective older brother that always made sure i was okay, that i was happy and that i kept a smile on my face." ron smiles at his brother as george smiles back, intently listening 

 "throughout my schooling at hogwarts, alongside mione and harry, i always looked up to both george and astoria. they were always just so cool and i always wanted to be in their friend group and be in their year level because they were two years above me. however, i learnt quickly that i didn't need to be in my brother's friend group because i had my little perfect one with harry, mione and the others that filtered through like neville, ginny, luna, dean, seamus and others. when it came to i'd say the last few years of hogwarts after fourth year, it started to become quite scary and serious. it was no longer that lighthearted stuff that first, second and third year brought, even though we did still do some shocking things in our first three years *giggles*. " ron chuckled as everyone nodded their heads in agreement

"it was in these final years that i finally understood why george and astoria especially would get so protective over not just me but over hermione, ginny and harry, that is when they weren't setting umbridge on fire or planning out a new sweet or product for weasley's wizard wheezes. they wanted to keep us safe and sheltered for as long as they could but, once fifth year came around, things were no longer safe due to umbridge and many other factors that followed in the next two years to come. in the war in harry, mione and i's seventh year, we lost many that we loved, including our dear brother fred..." ron's voice almost faltered but he didn't let it as he took in a breath and continued as george and astoria watched

"...however, we didn't let that weigh us down even though it very easily could have done. if it wasn't for you astoria, i seriously think not just me, but everyone else here in this lovely hall would imagine seeing george smiling, happy and laughing again. astoria has always made it her mission to care for anyone and everyone. i mean, i saw it first hand back in fourth year when i was arrogant and really stupid. i had picked a fight with my now girlfriend, hermione, and used her as a last resort as my yule date ball when i really shouldn't have done that. and it was astoria and watching the way she nurtured and consoled her sister that showed me that astoria was an angel and i shouldn't have picked such a stupid arguement with hermione..." ron smiled, turning his head to look at hermione as they shared a smile, as did george and astoria

"...the reason why i'm mentioning these stories that involve me, hermione, harry and our friends is because it was all of these moments where astoria and george helped us that inspired me and helped me change from the person i used to be to the person i am now. and it was all because of the ways in which these two wonderful people were doing it. they were showing the example of how a relationship and friendship should be. arrogance and stupidity is not welcome in a relationship if it means you're always picking fights and fighting with one another because you didn't invite your significant other as your date for a silly little ball that you didn't even end up enjoying. all because you went with someone who wasn't the person who you originally wanted to invite but was too stubborn to change it. so, honestly, astoria and george, i'd just like to say thank you for being a perfect example of a wonderful relationship that wasn't mum and dads *giggles*. i genuinely love the both of you, ria and george, with all my heart and i just wish the best and for you guys to have the happiest marriage ever because it's so obvious at how much you love each other so, let's raise a toast to the ones we all love most. i know i should techncially welcome you into our family ria but, you've always been welcome into the family since the beginning. to mr and mrs weasley!" 

ron finished his speech and the hall roared with cheers and applause, astoria moved away from george and walked over to give ron a hug. george also stood up and gave a hug to ron before they decided to stay standing for hermione's speech who now had been given the microphone. 

"hello everyone, friends, family and distinguished guests." hermione smiled lovingly as astoria couldn't help the giggle as she shook her head at her younger sister's eloquence

"my name is hermione, i am astoria's maid of honour and her younger sister. like ron and george, there is a two year age gap between astoria and me which i know shocked a lot of people when i eventually came to hogwarts. only for the reason being people thought astoria and i were identical twins because of how much we look alike," everyone giggles as hermione smiles brightly and looks directly at her sister and new brother in law

"similar to what ron said, i was originally going to say my fake speech here and then this one back at the burrow but, as payback, my goal is to really make astoria and george cry. just like ron, growing up with astoria as an older sister was the normal dymanic of an older sister and younger sister. we had our moments where we'd fight but, the thing was, our arguements and fights were never as grand or exciting as the ones that the weasley siblings had because as children, astoria wasn't actually the prankster that she was after she had met the weasley twins..." hermione smiled as astoria shook her head, everyone looking shocked

 "...as a kid, astoria was actually really really shy and reserved as a kid. she was quiet, she was still kind and courteous of everyone around her but she always knew that she wasn't normal like our parents and our muggle friends. around three years before she got her hogwarts letter, i started noticing some really weird things that astoria was doing that no one else around us was doing..." astoria's eyes widened, she couldn't believe hermione was revealing what she was about to reveal

"...first of all, she was reading some real ancient books that were as big as her face *giggles*, she was muttering to herself at night and i would hear it because even before hogwarts and having to share the same common area, astoria and i shared a bedroom and she'd be doing things that i couldn't explain. and when i'd worryingly question mum and dad that ri may be unwell *giggles* they told me to ignore it but i could tell they too were worried because they would constantly be on edge..." hermione laughs with a bittersweet undertone and astoria knows why, she misses their parents and astoria understood because she did too

 "...then, one night, when astoria was out with her muggle friends just after she had recieved her letter when she was eleven, making me nine, i decided to snoop around to see why she was acting so strange. that was when i noticed a book called a history of magic by a lady called bathilda bagshot and it suddenly dawned on me that the magic that i imagined and was always told wasn't real actually was real and like astoria, i wasn't going crazy. after i then read astoria's acceptance letter to hogwarts, that was when i only hoped that just like my older sister, i too was a witch and would be able to study at hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardy. it was then that i became a maniac and decided that i wanted to know every little thing about hogwarts and it's history so i did..." sounding a little bit embarrassed revealing that, everyone smiled lovingly at hermione, astoria's a look she'd always given as hermione continued

 "...skipping quite a few years ahead, both of us in hogwarts, i was in my fourth year and astoria in her sixth. i had been stressing about harry since he had just been manipulated to compete in the triwizard tournament when one night, it was at least three in the morning after ron and myself were helping harry with one of the clues. astoria had waltzed in to the library where i was nearly falling asleep on one of the desks with a whole mini library of books stacked in my arms..." hermione trailed off as astoria smiled sweetly, remembering exactly where her sister's story was leading as everyone listened intently 

"...and, immediately, astoria noticed what was wrong. she could tell i was distressed and exhausted and she refused to watch me in that state. grabbing the books out of my grip, she put them back in their respectful shelves and then she sat down with me and asked me with care, the same care she's always had, and asked me what i was worried about," hermione smiled as she remembered the memory

"then, of course, i told her what was wrong and what i was worried about and, she agreed and said what was happening wasn't fair but, that's just how it was happening and all we could do was just to help harry and we did. after that, astoria walked me back to our common room and she stayed with me for the rest of the night because she knew there was no way that i'd be able to fall asleep on my own. so, in the commonroom, not even going up to our dorms, she sat the both of us down on one of the couches and she cuddled me as i then fell asleep an hour later. brushing her fingers through my hair, she calmed me down and took care of me in the same way she would do at home when we were kids, blind to the fact we were a few fleeting years from joining this world..." hermione couldn't stop smiling talking about her sister on any regular day but especially today on the day of her sister's wedding

"...astoria is truly the best older sister i could have ever wished for. she came on the run with me, harry and ron during our seventh year and made sure to keep all of us safe whilst we were hunting the horcruxes. george, is the best guy that i could have ever wanted to marry my older sister. i remember yet again, in my fourth year, at christmas during the yule ball. we were getting ready together. i mean, i was helping her get ready since i refused to get dressed with astoria, angelica and lee jordan's date in the room because i was so nervous as to what she would have thought about my dress," the younger granger chuckled as she now realised just how silly she was to worry over that at fourteen

 "...however, the moment i came down those stairs and she smiled and rushed straight over to me, i realised just how stupid i was to doubt myself in front of my sister. i mean, astoria was wearing a gorgeous white halter neck dress with a slit whilst i wore a pink shiffon-like dress. however, the biggest memory i have of that night was when me and ron had an arguement. i could tell it was going to cause attention because i knew my older sister would be listening. whilst she comforted me, i remember exactly what she said as she reassured me that even though she had yelled at ron more times that year than any other, she still wouldn't want any other boy marrying me," she giggled as astoria smiled, nodding her head in memory of that conversation as george smiled

"but what i remember the most is what i said after that. in that moment as you held me as i cried, catching george as he watched, i noticed that it was that moment he had fallen in love with you. i could tell the moment that really sold it for him was when he overhead me say that i wouldn't want any other boy marrying you either. and, truthfully, i still stand by that because george is the best husband and brother in law in the world and i can tell he'll never let you down," hermione smiled as she looked lovingly at the both of them as they looked at her

"george, although my parents and your in-laws have no idea you exist. just like your family has always welcomed astoria and i into your family, you've been welcomed into our family since the beginning as well. so, there isn't any reason why we need to welcome you into ours when you've been part of it from the beginning. to mr and mrs weasley, please, never keep the mischief managed for those that wish for it and for those that deserve a little mischief!" ending her toast with a joke, hermione smiled with joy as she raised her glass as astoria and george enveloped their sister and sister-in-law in for a hug 

after ron and hermione, mr and mrs arthur and molly weasley said a speech as mother and father of the groom when it had suddenly come time for george and astoria's first dance. introductions were made and george's lead to the dance floor meant that it was truly time for the couple to shine and show their dance moves. whilst they weren't as exquiste as mr and mrs weasley's dance moves at bill and fleur's wedding, they were still beautiful and the way they danced so in sync with one another and were so light and delicate was the cause for a lot of applause and cheers. the husband and wife gently swayed back and forth for around half the song before the song suddenly cut, george had spun astoria away from him and the bridal party had joined in for a surprise flash-mob. with costume changes from the ceremony dresses to short frilly mini dresses, the wedding party really brought out the party for the wedding reception. 

hours later, the wedding was finished and the new mr and mrs weasley sat on the floor of their bedroom they were in a year ago after the proposal when tears streamed down george's cheeks. 

tears of joy, george rested his head on his wife's shoulder, "thank you for giving me a reason to be happy again and everything that i could have ever possibly needed," he sniffled softly, his tears now longer easy to control as astoria rubbed her husband's back, soothing him and his emotions 

"thank you for giving me the permission to do so," astoria responded back as she softly kissed the head of ginger hair that covered george's head and face 

"i love you, mrs weasley, for today and forever," he tearfully and tiredly murmured into his wife's silk pyjama spaghetti strap - the only other noises being the already asleep wedding party on the floor below the couple on the bed 

"and i, you, mr weasley, for today and forever," astoria spoke lovingly as the couple then fell asleep as they dreamt about their love for each other and their future children 

pregnancy

the weasley's hadn't even been married for a full year (ten months to be exact) before they actively started to try for a baby. after being told by both a healer and a muggle doctor that she couldn't give birth and being misdiagnosed with a few different illnesses, astoria fought herself daily as to whether or not she wanted to try for a baby after everything she had gone through with all the misdiagnoses. so, when astoria alongside her sisters, hermione and ginny, took a pregnancy test at bill and fleur's house at shell cottage, her eyes lit up in excitement at the findings of her being pregnant with her and george's first baby. hermione and ginny had to fight off squealing their lungs dry considering the shell cottage toilets weren't charmed to be soundproof this time, unfortunately, not that they were sure there was a spell for that anyway. they had all known how worried astoria was about the possibility of now being able to fulfil george's biggest dream of being a father but, now, it seemed as if she was going to get that dream! 

rushing back out of the bathroom, to avoid suspicion from her other sister-in-law, fleur who was home, the three girls went back to the loungeroom and entertained victoire, their niece, bill and fleur's little girl. when, as a split decision, astoria thought to just chuck the positive pregnancy test hurling towards the back of george's head since he too was present and mucking around with little victoire. 

looking over at ginny and hermione, the older girl smirked, just hoping her husband would get it. and, he did? or maybe he was just slightly grossed out that an already used positive pregnancy stick had just been lobbed at his head like a quaffle...wait. his eyes flickered back to the test to see that it had two lines, placing victoire down on the enchanted play mat in front of him, he noticed that the two lines meant that it was positive. meaning that the person who threw this to the back of his head was pregnant and, the only person he knew that was always throwing things at the back of his head was his wife...no way! 

"astoria, are you serious?" a whispered voice rang out from the floor which caught fleur's attention from the kitchen to the young married couple, astoria moving over to her husband on the floor where hermione, ginny and now fleur had joined standing up 

it seemed as if fleur had caught on to george's revelation and what had been thrown at him but she just waited for astoria confirmation or even george's revelation to let out her squeal and congratulations. 

"you're...you're pregnant, stori?" george choked out after astoria had responded originally as she then nodded her head, george almost collapsing before he stood up and pulled his wife into his arms for a hug whilst little victoire rolled around on her enchanted playmat in a complete ignorant bliss to what was going on around her  

"surprise georgie!" astoria whispered as she rubbed her husband's back, comforting him as he cried softly into her shoulder 

after the couple had pulled out of the hug, they were pulled into another one as the weasley's shouted their congratulations but, not for long before bill had walked into the house slightly confused. 

"...why is everyone screaming and crying, who died?" 

"astoria's pregnant!" 

"say what now and i'm the last one to be informed?! astoria, my darling, congratulations!" 

throughout the entire pregnancy, george refused to take his eyes away from his wife, even if it was for just a millisecond. he'd get a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach and his wand-dominant hand which caused him to give himself whiplash due to him constantly throwing his head and back out into the direction of his wife to make sure she was still safe even though there was no longer any threat of dark forces anymore. whilst he still worked at weasley & weasley joke shop, george made sure that he took the required days off to take care of astoria and also took to reading some baby books and parent books so he would be well-informed. 

whilst george was already protective over his wife, he did tone it down throughout the second half of the second trimester because he knew it would become too overwhelming for astoria if her personal space wasn't respected. he remembered the day he became protective over his pregnant wife and twins. it was after the weasley's had gone in for an ultrasound and to hear the heartbeat of their twins as the weeks beforehand, they had found out they were having fraternal twins, one boy and one girl. at the ultrasound of hearing their twins' heartbeat, it reduced george to tears instantly, more than hearing his twins were a girl and a boy did. and that was when he vowed to himself and astoria that he'd do everything and anything to keep the three of them safe for as long as he could. 

so, during an unsually quiet day at weasley & weasley, whilst stocking shelves with her wand, an underage wizard had wandered in and didn't realise that astoria was pregnant and accidentally bumped into her. thankfully, astoria didn't lose her balance and immdediately accpeted the apology of the suddenly frightened eleven-year-old wizard before george could even open his mouth let alone yell at the kid. george calmed down and refrained from yelling at the kid because he realised that it was purely accidental and the kid had never intended to bump into astoria. that however was the last time it had happened and after that, it seemed as if everything was going swimmingly for the pregnancy until the day that astoria went into labour. 

another thing that curbed george's protectiveness was when the twins first kicked. it of course shocked astoria as she wasn't expecting it, especially when the both of them had decided to visit the burrow for a weekend and at dinner with the rest of the family. however, she knew she couldn't let her husband leave the table for more food without him feeling his twins kick. 

"ah!" astoria squealed, placing her fork down and trying to keep her voice low as george stiffened beside his wife as he lowered himself back down to his seat as she calmed down, everyone's conversations starting again

whilst everyone was knee deep in their dinner conversations, that was when astoria reached for her husband's hand, placing it on the spot of her heavily pregnant belly which the twins had just previously kicked at. 

smiliar to his wife, george jerked upwards slightly, his hand moving away from his wife's pregnant belly as his eyes lit up, "did the weasley twins just kick?" george whispered softly, as not to disturb the conversations as astoria nodded her head 

"mhm! they're both very strong kickers, unlike their daddy!" astoria whispered jokingly, causing george to carefully shove his wife as they chuckled softly 

ron smiled from in front of them, for he had seen the entire conversation from the beginning since his own wife, hermione was conversing with her sister-in-law, ginny. it warmed his heart at seeing his older brother and sister-in-law get excited over their twins kicking. making ron remember his own memories of when he asked his mum if he could feel her pregnant belly when she was pregnant with ginny even though he was so young. 

when astoria's due date came closer and started to become anxiety-incuding for the entire family, the weeks leading up, they closed weasley & weasley for a week whilst the weasley's took time off their own jobs to take care of the new to-be parents back at st mungo's hospital. 

the day that astoria went into labour, she was thankfully already on her way to st mungo's, right alongside george as they walked into the doors of the hospital when her contractions started. in a wheelchair and being wheeled into a private room, astoria couldn't hide her excitement. 

"we're going to be parents, georgie!" astoria whispered as they made it into their hospital room 

throughout the entire labour process, george held astoria's hand, allowing her to squeeze the shit out of it. not like he couldn't handle it but, there were moments it did hurt. george allowed his wife to scream her throat dry, cursing at him for knocking her up less than a year after getting married. it quickly was then followed by "thank yous" and "lets get pregnant again soon" which caused way too much laughter between the healers, george, astoria and hermione. george had also let astoria to nearly dislocate his arm and shoulder due to the force she had placed on them as the tail end of the labour process was happening. but, the biggest thank you was that he had given her the beautiful creation that was their fraternal twins, a little boy who they aptly named fred gideon weasley jr and a little girl who they named helena hermione weasley. 

after giving birth to the twins, and were given some time with baby fred and baby helena, it was then time to tell the family their names. at hearing fred jr's name, it nearly made the weasley's collapse but none more so then molly and arthur, ron and george a close second. at hearing helena's full name, hermione couldn't believe her ears, she never would have imagined having her sister's first daughter be named after her. 

not long after, it was then decided who would be the godparents of fred jr and helena. the godparents of fred jr were harry and ginny (who were also godparents to little teddy tonks) and the godparents of helena hermione were (obviously) ron and hermione. then, after that, the new parents got to have time to just relax after all the agony of giving birth to humans put a person through. sleeping soundly, little fred jr and helena hermione were just perfect babies. 

present time

three months after giving birth to fred gideon jr and helena hermione, george was back at weasley & weasley full time and astoria was working from home at her ministry job but would occasionaly go into her office if she had to and would occasionaly bring in the twins which caused many smiles for astoria's coworkers. however, one day, when astoria was working from home, chatting to her sister-in-law fleur via floo connection by fireplace, she suddenly became overwhelmed and like she was about to cry for what she thought was seemingly no reason at all. she had passed all the muggle tests for postpartum depression and had no clear signs of developing it after the twins, her anxiety hadn't been bothering her and neither had her war-induced ptsd. so, why else would astoria be getting so overwhelemed when her three-month old twins, fred jr and helena and her husband were all fine? 

it wasn't until she didn't hear fleur anymore, realising that she had left the fireplace, her goodbyes probably not being heard by astoria and hearing the twins babble out for their daddy that she realised he was home that she started crying. the sounds of his wife crying immediately entered george's ears and caused him to rush over to the desk that astoria was working at to find her just frozen as she cried, a look of complete confusion plastered on her face. 

"darling, what's wrong? are the twins okay?" george asked, trying to calm astoria down as he noticed his wife's shoulders shrug 

"oh, yeah. the twins, they...they're okay. just...why...why am i suddenly so overwhelmed and crying?" astoria muttered out in exhaustion as george sighed softly, feeling awful for his wife 

"oh, honey. it's okay to cry and be overwhelmed. are you working too hard, maybe? or is there something that's stressing you out lately?" george's voice was soft, caring and loving as he delicately lifted his wife from her office chair and over to the couch 

"i...i think so?" astoria responded in confusion as george nodded his head, knowing exactly what his wife needed 

carefully leading himself and his wife up the stairs to their bedroom, george knew that astoria hadn't been sleeping properly and barely eating properly whilst she tried to take care of the twins and work at the same time. rarely taking time for herself when she knew she was supposed to. 

sitting himself and astoria on their bed, george wiped his wife's tears away before kissing her lightly on the forehead. 

"what are we doing up here? the twins are downstairs all by themselves..." astoria mumbled out, her exhaustion taking over her overwhelming feeling as george smiled softly 

"...you will be taking a nap, okay darling? the twins will be alright, fleur hasn't gone anywhere, she's still in the fireplace, she just left for the time that i was using the floo powder to come home from work. freddie and helena are being occupied by their enchanted play mat, they will be fine. besides, i'll be going back and forth from watching you to watching the twins as well so nothing bad will really happen. you just need to close your eyes, relax and get some sleep, mkay?" george spoke softly as he helped his wife in stripping down from her business casual attire that she'd wear for work, even if it was from home

listening to her husband's advice, astoria slept for at least three hours, maybe a couple more before she woke up and went downstairs to find george, fred jr and helena all curled up on the couch watching a movie. joining her little family, astoria curled herself next to her husband and allowed little freddie to lay on her stomach as they watched a couple more movies as a little family.

as they watched their movies together, fleur now no longer in the fireplace and with her own family, astoria seemed to be a lot happier and less overwhelmed like she was earlier before her nap. george was right, astoria hadn't been taken proper care of herself and ever since she had been given the go ahead to return to work, she had been working herself to the bone like she did before the twins were born. which, she's now come to the conclusion she can't do anymore otherwise she'll burn herself out and, she wouldn't want that to happen again. 

by the time the movies finished and dinner time had happened, it was suddenly bedtime for the twins. placing the twins in their cots, they instantly fell asleep as their cots enchantments lulled them into deep sleep. 

looking between the two twins, astoria spoke up, "helena looks so much like you, georgie." she smiled softly, the ginger hair of both helena and fred jr staring back at the parents as george smiled 

"freddie looks so much like you yet so much like me at the same time," george muttered, smiling softly at his little boy as astoria nodded her head, smiling in agreement 

fred gideon weasley jr and helena hermione weasley. the two most beautiful things to have happened to the husband and wife was the babies they had created all because of their shared love and mischief towards each other. 

fin

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2026

[amberjazmyn]

life after the battle of hogwarts would include

pairing : george weasley x girlfriend reader

summary : life after the battle of hogwarts headcannon

warnings : mentions of battle of hogwarts, tears, grief, mention of character death

a/n : rewriting these one shots have been so fun. also, the reader has a name, which is angelique and she is dating george weasley.

- straight after the battle of hogwarts, it was clear just how profound everyone's grief was.

- but for angelique and her boyfriend's family, the weasley's, their grief felt as though it was never ending.

- they shouldn't have had so much faith that the entire family would have survived.

- the weasley's were missing a son, a brother and a best friend.

- fred weasley had been killed after a death eater blasted him between a wall causing an explosion.

- the loss of fred was immediately felt by everyone but most especially by his twin brother, george.

- angelique had never seen her boyfriend cry or experience such a loss like fred's.

- george was obviously the one that grieved the most over his twin's death. 

- fred was george's partner in crime from the moment they were born. 

- they did everything together and had never spent a moment without the other person. 

- this meant that when the weasley's plus harry, hermione and angelique went back home to the burrow that george locked himself away from everyone.

- scaring angelique that george would never leave his bedroom due to this loss and it worried her.

- of course, the rest of the weasleys, hermione and harry, were also devastated and riddled with the grief. 

- however, it was obvious that it wouldn't take the snap of a finger for george to stop his grief and his tears at night and during the day.

- for many months, everyone stopped counting how long it had been since angelique, hermione and harry lived at the burrow with the weasleys. 

- because harry, hermione and angelique couldn't have gone back to hogwarts and there was no way they could leave ron, ginny or george on their own. 

- especially when they were all individually going through their own grieving process over fred's death.

- however, there was something that could ease away george's pain ever so slowly.

- not just something, but someone.

- and that someone was angelique and her love for her ginger boyfriend.

- and eventually, george started to show himself again to his family piece by piece, little by little. 

- the relief on mrs weasley's face when she saw her boy drag his feet down the stairs for dinner one snowy evening could not be hidden, not matter how hard she tried.

- but the thing was, angelique was also relieved and quite honestly shocked because this wasn't done by her. 

- angelique hadn't encouraged this at all, all she had done was what she had been doing since they returned home.

- repeating to george that it was supper and that angelique would leave him a plate to eat when he was ready

- it was all george's doing as he slid seamlessly into the seat next to his girlfriend and slowly started to eat the food that she had graciously plated up for him like she did every other night

- "hey georgie, thanks for joining us for supper, darling." 

- molly would say ever so softly and with her loving motherly tone as george ever so slightly lifted his head up and nodded his head, trying to smile but still not quite able to 

- not like mrs weasley or anyone in the family forced george to respond or even try to smile and not getting mad at his difficulty to do so. 

- they were just glad that he had finally joined them for supper 

- squeezing his hand ever so discreetly under the table, angelique had never been prouder of george's slow improvements in rejoining the family and his own choice to come out of his own grief and his hiding away.

- months later, angelique started to see some improvement in the way george carried himself around the burrow as well as the joke shop

- at first it didn't seem so big of an improvement until one day she started to see george genuinely smile again over something that ron had said 

- "george, remember that one time that you and fred threw snowballs at the back of what was actually voldy's head, not professor quirrell's?" 

- at first, angelique thought it was quite insensitive for ron to finally be mentioning fred's name so loudly. 

- but, then she remembered she had no right to say that nor the audacity to think that because, fred was also ron's brother and secondly, it actually made george smile 

- like actually smile

- and all of a sudden, the darkness that had covered angelique's head and her own world, started to filter away.

- and it felt like the sun had started to shine over the top of her and the burrow for the first time in what felt like forever 

- and she then started to smile too as she saw the way george's entire body and soul just burst with pure happiness at such a simple and small memory. 

- a memory that his baby brother seemed to remember from all those years ago in what was the younger one's first year at hogwarts 

- and, george spoke for the first time 

- "yeah, i...i do remember that, you remembered that?" 

- the joy on both george and ron's face was just pure joy and it almost made angelique cry from joy as she stood on the sidelines of the kitchen

- she watched the brothers start to animatedly talk about that memory as though it hadn't happened years ago but months ago even though it happened years ago

- upon hearing the calamity downstairs, ginny, molly and arthur rushed down the stairs wondering what all the fuss was about. 

- she stopped them when she pointed out george and ron were conversing with one another 

- and, seeing this with their own eyes, made them all teary-eyed, excluding arthur who just felt a sense of pride over his two sons.

- the both of them finally talking about fred again rather than ignoring it or treating his name like a dirty word or poison 

- hermione and harry then rushed down the stairs but again was quickly stopped by angelique as the two best friends/girlfriend of ron relaxed their shoulders. 

- they just watched on in silence but pure joy that their best friend and boyfriend were able to converse with his older brother again 

- angelique couldn't help the smile that covered her own face at george and ron's conversation 

- she felt a sense of calm and a sense that truly, george but ron as well, were going to be okay 

- the whole weasley family were going to be okay again 

- and she was right

- not even a week after george and ron's conversation, the light at the end of the tunnel could be seen and walked through 

- george would smile and laugh again 

- he would engage in conversations again 

- he wouldn't half-arse his and angelique's relationship anymore 

- he started taking her on dates again and treated her like his girlfriend rather than just his grief counsellor and shoulder to cry on

- in fact, he actually took it upon himself, with arthur's help, to find the best and only the best engagement ring the wizarding world had ever seen 

- and not long after purchasing the ring, george went down on bended knee and asked for her hand in marriage 

- but, that was after he had sweetly apparated himself down to godric's hollow cemetry and asked the permission of her parents who had sadly passed away years earlier whilst she was at hogwarts 

- george had proposed to angelique whilst she, the golden trio, ginny, percy, bill, charlie and mr and mrs weasley were at the burrow just relaxing after a not-so particular busy or strenuous day 

- the moment george wandered over to her, it was obvious there was a spark of nervousness in his eyes that she'd never seen before from him 

- "you alright georgie? you look a little pale?" 

- she questioned, her hand trailing up to check his forehead for his temperature when he just decided to do it rather then drag it on 

 - she tumbled back in shock of what george was doing 

- they were only young, still in their early twenties and already, george was proposing to marry? 

- but, in all honesty, she couldn't have cared less, her parents weren't alive to scream and make a scene over their "precious little girl" marrying this "crazy unstable boy"

- yes, that was there actual first impression of the twins in all honesty

- that they were "crazy" and "unstable"

- thankfully though, after they saw the way both twins, not just george, took care of their little girl, they also fell in love with george. 

- and loved that she was finally with a boy that loved her and appreciated her and protected her

- but she did wonder and hope that not only would her parents still accept george but also that he still asked for their permission even though they were dead and laying in rest in godric's hollow cemetery.

- george proposed with the most beautiful speech he had ever come up with as he lowered himself down to his knee.

- mentioning how he had in fact apparated to godric's hallow cemetery to ask her parents for permission but not getting a response.

- unable to hold her laughter at that, her eyes filled with tears at her goofy boyfriend's beautiful marriage proposal.

- the rest of the family, molly, arthur, percy, bill, fleur, charlie, ron, ginny, harry and hermione just watched on in wait as did george as they all waited for angelique's response. 

- so, to not keep everyone waiting any longer, she responded.

 - "oh, georgie! you still asked mum and dad's permission?" 

- was stupidly, the first thing that came out of her mouth because she was still quite frankly in shock that she was being proposed to so young. 

- but, he smiled brightly and nodded his head. 

- "of course i did darling, i'm not that rude!" 

- laughing at his response, angelique nodded her head with the biggest smile on her face.

- handing over her left hand so george could place the beautifully vintage golden engagement ring on her finger, she couldn't help but notice the red, ember tones that sparkled throughout it. 

-"the ring's stunning, georgie!" 

- angelique whispered, helping her now fiancé stand from his half kneeling position on the ground as the two of them giggled and shared a beautifully sweet kiss.

- "of course it is darling, it had to be absolutely perfect for my perfect girl!"

- immediately after the kiss though, they were swamped by congratulations and joy by the rest of the family.

- straight away, the girls, molly, hermione, fleur and ginny wanted to see the ring as she laughed and showed to them as the five girls gossiped and cooed over it and it's beauty.

- whereas, the guys, arthur, bill, charlie, percy, ron and harry went to george to congratulate him as they then said something that truly took george by surprise.

- but only made him feel better about his decision to marry angelique and not waiting any longer. 

- "fred would have been so proud of you, georgie!" 

- bill had said it and it was obvious he had meant it as george smiled and whilst tears did start to glass his vision, they didn't fall down for the first time in months. 

- "thank you, bill. i'm sure he is proud. in all honesty, he's probably cracking the shits that he wasn't here to tease me over it." 

- george responded with a smile as that caused some giggles throughout the family as they all seemed to agree, including angelique. 

- "he'd be more than pissed he didn't get to see this, georgie! he loved that you were in a happy relationship." 

- molly spoke up just before angelique could but, in all honesty, she was glad molly did because she said the same thing angelique was going to say.

- and truthfully, angelique couldn't have said it any better than molly did.

- however, angelique and george waited until they had been engaged for a full year before deciding to get married. 

- and honestly, that year of angelique and george being engaged seemed to fly by. 

- she watched as she and the weasley's saw off ginny and hermione returning to the school for their seventh year.

- ginny starting it for her first time and hermione returning to start it for a second time.

- she watched as ron joined george in managing the joke shop, weasley's wizard wheezes whilst hermione returned to hogwarts, leaving the couple separated for the majority of the year 

- harry had begun work at the ministry as an auror whilst he was separated from his girlfriend, ginny, whilst she was at hogwarts 

- angelique couldn't help the happiness that would spontaneously erupt from her during a random point in the day 

- whether that was over the fact that it was getting ever so closer to her and george's wedding day or just the fact that it finally felt like the whole wizarding world was going back to normal again.

- and george loved seeing this joy that oozed out of her because it gave him joy during the day as well 

- and then, finally, out of nowhere it seemed 

- angelique's and george's wedding came

- and let's just say it was a beautiful day filled with laughter, joy, dancing, singing, drinking and finally it was a day that wasn't ruined by any dark forces and the fear of another war breaking out 

fin

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2026

[amberjazmyn]

golden girl

pairing : harry potter cast!platonic hp cast fem!reader

summary : it's the 2012 bafta awards and marlise saint pierre, the actress who plays evangeline weasley, is nominated for an award and wins.

warnings : none really except for swear words maybe?

a/n : in this one shot, marlise wins the bafta award for best supporting actress in a role - movie for her role in harry potter and the deathly hallows part two.

marlise smiled and cheered as she sat in her seat at the annual bafta awards 2012 alongside her fellow cast and crew of harry potter and the deathly hallows part two. marlise had been nominated for best supporting actress in a role - movie for her portrayal as evangeline weasley in harry potter and the deathly hallows part two - the final movie of the franchise. sat next to her were her weasley twins, james and oliver phelps, the twins both held her hands whilst bonnie wright and rupert grint sat on the other side of james. daniel radcliffe, emma watson and tom felton sat on the other side of oliver. the rest of the cast were sprinkled throughout the audience. 

throughout the entire evening, she was constantly being complimented on the dress that she was wearing. in all honesty, she enjoyed the compliments, only because she felt pretty enough, finally, since all of her previous outfits to award shows and red carpets in her opinion were ghastly. but also because it distracted her from the anxieties that award shows normally gave her. 

this was the first time she had received so many nominations since award season started and it was for her role in harry potter. if it didn't distract her, marlise would be a lot less accepting of the compliments and would either try ignoring them or just do an uno reverse on whoever it was that gave her the initial compliment. the dress marlise was wearing was a lovely blue dress that was low cut and almost looked like a wrap dress on the bottom half.

the dress looked absolutely beautiful on marlise. she had never felt prettier in a dress other than the dress she wore in goblet of fire for the yule ball scene. so, being able to wear this dress to the bafta awards seemed like a dream come true for marlise.

when it came to actually paying attention to the award show that was happening in front of her, marlise genuinely found it difficult because it was getting closer and closer to her category and it freaked her out slightly. every time during this award season, she just wanted to protect herself because this was the first time she was getting acknowledged during her ten years on harry potter movies. 

it was normally the other cast members like daniel, emma and rupert that were getting the awards and acknowledgements. so, it only seemed fitting that now, at the end of the magic of harry potter that the british academy film and television awards were finally honouring the actress. 

so, as she sat next to her weasley twins, james and oliver phelps, with bonnie, rupert, emma, tom and daniel surrounding them, they all sat in a nervous wait. applause and awards were coming and going when, ironically, julie walters and mark williams, who played molly and arthur weasley in, you guessed it, the harry potter series, took the microphone to present marlise's category.

 instantly, she tensed up in fear, zoning out but keeping a soft smile look on her face as the overhead announcer announced the nominations as scenes of the movies played as well. james and oliver wrapping their arms that weren't captured by marlise's hands enveloped the girl in a protective group hug which, no one could deny didn't look cute because it did whilst the rest of the cast all gave loving looks to their golden nominated girl. 

"...the nominations are..." 

"...for harry potter and the deathly hallows part two, marlise saint pierre," the entire room cheers as a smile forms on marlise's face as does a small chuckle

she then notices the camera that was filming the reactions of all those that were nominated alongside her. she waves and then turns to look at james and oliver, still with their right arms wrapped around her whilst their left hands held her hands. but because of this, she was unable to applaud when she hears the scene in which her character, evangeline weasley, discovers her older brother fred weasley dead during a moment of silence at the battle of hogwarts.

evangeline was borderline insane for thinking this war would be over soon. limping and stumbling through the great hall during a break in fighting, she noticed a lump of people huddling around something. the ginger locks undeniably recognisable as the ginger hair of her family, the weasley's. most importantly, her twin sister ginny's, her parents and two of her brother's george and percy. okay, so far, all of her family were alive that she could see.

until she noticed the person laying still on the floor...once again, the ginger hair unmistakingly recognisable as she couldn't help as her body just started to run towards the crowd of people. she remembered the very thing that her brother fred was doing the last time she had seen him. she remembers because he was with their older brother percy and the anger she remembers having when she saw the two of them talking. so casually as though percy hadn't betrayed his family for the ministry of magic. but, even though she was mad, she still knew that her two brothers together were unstoppable together and were great wizards. there was absolutely no way in wizard hell that evangeline's older brother fred was laying dead and motionless on the floor of the great hall.

then, evangeline moved closer to her family, the cries that were only just a whisper were now guttural and filling her ears loudly. the cries were coming from george, fred's twin and that was when she knew that what was happening in front of her wasn't a nightmare. fred was actually dead and there was nothing that could change that, no magic spell, no wandwaving, no time turning, not anything in the wizarding world could change fred dying during the battle of hogwarts and she couldn't stop it from happening.

hearing george's cries over fred felt as though evangeline was hearing angels cry. it was so painful that she felt as though she couldn't breath. she couldn't walk anymore and felt like she was going to have a heart attack. it was the moment of evangeline beginning to hyperventilate, clutching at her throat and stomach that caught the attention of evangeline's mum, molly.

rushing over to her daughter, molly grabbed for her daughter's waist just as evangeline started to collapse to the floor as she started to cry out, "...no...i can't...i can't breathe...please...mum...it can't be fred..." evangeline cried as she held tightly to her mum, screaming when molly wouldn't respond with words

"...please...it can't be fred...he wasn't...it wasn't his time to die..." evangeline screamed as she tried to reach out for her older brother as molly continued to hold her daughter back and smooth her hair to try and console her

however, this time, molly had to say something, "...i'm sorry baby but it is fred...there wasn't anything they could do to save him..." of course, this wasn't at all comforting but it was the truth and it was what evangeline needed to hear

however, it only made it worse. evangeline screamed even louder and pushed her mum out of the way, falling to the floor and on top of her brother as she hugged him. crying over his still body, evangeline did not let go, despite efforts from molly, her dad arthur and older brothers george and percy.

whilst evangeline was a master at fixing superficial wounds on the forehead, arms, legs and magic away the blood, she couldn't magic away the death of her brother. no matter how much she wanted to, she knew she couldn't try it, she knew she couldn't wave her wand and bring her brother back. because that was impossible, even in the wizarding world there were still limitations. bringing people back from the dead was impossible and just simply not doable.

evangeline continued to weep over her brother's body, the cries coming from the deepest part of her gut and they pierced through the ears of every single person in the great hall, whether they were dead or alive.

a shiver then was felt down evangeline's spine as she felt the hand of her mum caressing her messy and bloodied hair. molly knew that evangeline would have reacted in this way no matter who it was in her family that was killed but, it cut deeper because of how close evangeline was with fred.

fred was her best friend if you didn't count his and evangeline's twins, george and ginny. outside of their twins, fred and evangeline were as thick as thieves they were so close. they were best friends and now, evangeline had to live the rest of her life without her older brother, which she had never done before in her life.

"...please don't go fred...why didn't percy do anything to save you..." evangeline whispers, lifting her head up after crying herself out as she turned to hear the footsteps of ron who had finally joined

then, it didn't take long before ron broke down, almost falling to the floor as he hugged evangeline the tightest he had ever hugged her before as they both completely dropped to the floor. it was the first time evangeline had seen her brother cry like this. the both of them leaning closer to fred as they continued to hug until they broke from the hug to lay down next to fred, their heads laying on top of his chest. 

molly fighting the battle in her head about which kid she had to comfort, the two younger ones that were wailing over their dead brother, the other twin son that was now having to live without his twin or her other twin daughter that was staring off into the distance. she eventually decided to comfort evangeline and ron first before switching to george, percy and ginny before going back to the floor to comfort fred, smoothing his hair back and caressing his face.

eventually, evangeline forced herself to stand up, leaving ron, who was still in tears over fred and molly as she continued to play with both ron and fred's hair. standing up so she could comfort george, she hadn't hugged him yet and she knew he needed it the most. and her heart broke as she watched george crumble in her embrace as her face turned to stone as she looked over. behind her stood harry, pure shock and nuanced devastation covering his face and she latched onto it. latching onto someone, who wasn't in her family, and their grief was grounding for evangeline.

her belief for this relief was because she felt relieved that it wasn't harry or ron or hermione, but especially her own twin sister ginny, that was laid dead on the ground, so cold and lifeless. even then, she felt awful for feeling like that because fred was still her older brother and she couldn't understand why she felt so relieved when she was currently comforting her brother george who had just lost his own twin. at this point, the relief wasn't over that truly but for the fact that voldemort had even given them a break so they could have this moment with their dead and injured.

after a touching moment of evangeline pulling out of her and her brother's hug to pull her and george's faces closer together, she fully pulled out of the hug as she directed ron and george to one another. she then turned all around her only to see just how many familiar faces of those who were laying dead and cold, just like her brother was. tonks and remus, lavender brown, colin creevy, a random hufflepuff student she remembers set her up on a date with a ravenclaw, professor snape...so many people.

so many people and there was nothing else evangeline could do to stop it until harry gave himself up to voldemort. with one last look to harry, evangeline forced her tired, sore and bloody body away from the great hall to see if she could find professor mcgonagall to provide some help since the last she saw, help was something that was greatly needed.

she also left her family because she needed a distraction, it tore her apart that her family had to lose a brother and son during this war. reminding her that just maybe, there was truly no such thing as happy endings for the weasley family.

everyone erupted into roars of applause as marlise's scene finished playing before julie and mark stepped up to the microphone to announce the winner of the category's bafta. but, one thing everyone seemed to be set on now and shocked by was that scene that they had just watched. it was acted with pure brillance yet some moments were so nuanced at the same time and so understated that marlise played grief in a sixteen-year-old high schooler during a war absolutely brilliantly. and, it was that moment that everyone knew that the name that julie and mark were about to read out was for sure their on screen daughter, marlise's, it had to be at this point. 

julie couldn't contain her excitement as mark smiled at her, nodding his head before speaking up into the microphone, "...and the bafta goes to..." 

"...marlise saint pierre, harry potter and the deathly hallows part two..." mark and julie say at the same time, well, julie actually squealed it out whereas mark laughed it out in excitement

the vetaran actors bubbling over with pride for their on-screen daughter. the rest of her harry potter cast doing the same thing whilst the room filled with loud applause as james and oliver simutaneously had to forcefully get marlise out of her seat.

for just a split moment, marlise was completely confused why she was being ushered to stand up by james and oliver. then, she noticed mark and julie motioning her to come to the stage meaning she had won the award and she hadn't imagined it. it was also ironic since she and the harry potter cast were sat two rows from the front as she then noticed the camera as it focused on her and her castmates as they hysterically celebrated up on the screen behind them. 

she had just won the bafta award for best supporting actress in a movie and she had to as quickly as she could, think of something to say. scrambling to her feet to get out of her seat with assistance from james and oliver. 

after being pulled into hugs from everyone and the tears from her best friends and co-stars (the tears mainly from emma and shockingly rupert!) and an almost accidental smooch with tom felton, marlise finally made it to the stage. albeit a bit flustered, mainly from the just missed smooch, shaking her head at her on-screen parents, they pulled her into a very excited group hug. mark and julie congratulating her as she grabbed her award from mark and with one last set of cheek and forehead kisses, she attempted to start her speech.

"...wow...holy cow. umm, first thing i just want to say, i am so sorry tom, i did not mean to almost kiss you *laughter* that was not meant to happen at all. so, to the person that captured that on film...please i beg of you, delete that footage now!" marlise felt breathless as she began her speech, joking over the almost smooch with h.p costar tom felton

"in all seriousness though, i just want to say, i am honestly very grateful for this..." proud that she hadn't sweared as of yet, she smiled as the crowd continued to cheer for her

giggling as she just stared at the award in her hand as she continued, "...this award is something really special to me. when i was a kid up to just before i got the gig with harry potter, i was always described as the overachiever, the kid that was constantly winning sports awards, academic awards, you name it, i was most likely winning first place for it..." she trailed off again as she tilted her head to the side, a smile on her face

"...whether it was dance, gymnastics, netball, athletics, for being top of all my classes, i was always getting gold. and every time i had to say something, kind of like i am right now, i'd be so overwhelmed and confused and utterly flustered that i'd just start to either hysterically laugh and run away or i'd force someone else to speak on behalf of me because i never knew what to say. but i can't do that anymore because i'm no longer ashamed of my achievements now like i used to be..." marlise trailed off as she became emotional as she smiled softly, biting her lip as she looked up to see emma and rupert still teary eyed whilst daniel, james, oliver, tom and bonnie were bursting with pride

"...i've been in this business since i started harry potter and the philospher's stone when i was an itty bitty nine or ten year old, maybe even younger. so, my first ever experience with on-screen parents were having these two extraordinaires, julie walters and mark williams and in all honesty, they have been the best on-screen parents every harry potter movie since and that is not a lie nor am i sugar-coating it. i remember being so excited for the first time harry potter was ever nominated for an award only to find out, we didn't win like we had been egged on to think," marlise smiled as she remembered the outfit she wore to that awards show as much as she hated it now

 "but, even then at the time, i was just excited that i got to dress up and walk down my first ever red carpert with my castmates. although now, looking back at all the looks i've worn, this one right now is definitely my best without doubt *laughter and cheers*. anyway, as our years on potter progressed and knowing we were coming back year after year, it didn't matter to me if our movie didn't win all the awards because we were always going to be at the next awards..." marlise's smile suddenly became a bittersweet one as everyone turned quiet

 "...however, returning last year knowing that after this movie we were never coming back, i had never wanted our little movie, our little magical home, to win so badly before in my life. but, that never meant that i ever wanted to win anything for my role as evangeline weasley because, honestly, let's be honest, i was never ever the main character of the movie, because that's shared by three extraordinary actors, daniel radcliffe, emma watson and rupert grint and truly, they should be the ones winning all the awards this season, not me..." marlise's speech was haltered by the applause that surrounded her as she once again became emotional

"...but, that's not to say that i'm the teeneist bit proud of myself because, in all honesty, i've never been prouder of myself in my life like i have in this moment right now. which may sound a bit pretentious of me but, going back to being a little girl and constantly winning awards until i started potter, i had never been proud of myself for all those awards. and i say that because i never really did anything special to get those awards even though everyone else around me said i did. it wasn't until i found harry potter and this magical world that i've realised that this was something that i could be truly proud of and show off to people..." everyone watched as marlise told her story as tears welled in everyone's eyes as they listened intently at the story 

"...and now, at the end of our potter journey, i finally feel as though i've made myself proud enough that i'm not ashamed of the other awards that i won when i was a kid. because then that would mean that i'm ashamed of this award here in my hand and it makes me sad to think back at my younger self, who at the time, was so excited to win those awards, that a teenage version of me going through potter would be embarrassed about those academic, sport, dance and gymnastic awards that adult me can no longer be embarrassed about it. so i won't be embarrassed about them anymore. adult me was proud of little me for winning all those awards because little me had no idea that teenage potter me would end up winning an award as an adult at the very end of her potter journey..." marlise giggled as she tried to make herself make sense but, everyone in the audience understood her perfectly

 "...evangeline was a joy to play and she's truly been the best part of this ten year journey, i wouldn't have wanted to spend the last ten years doing anything but play evangeline weasley. now, i open this speech to my fellow cast members, the best weasley family i could have been blessed with, domhnall gleeson as the wonderful bill weasley, chris rankin as the very annoying percy weasley *laughter*, james and oliver phelps as the hilarious fred and george weasley, rupert grint as the ever-so charming ronald weasley and last but not least the gorgeous bonnie wright as my twin sister ginny weasley and of course, my wonderful parents, mark williams as my dad, arthur weasley and julie walters as my mum, molly weasley," marlise turns around as she mentions mark and julie who smile back at her as marlise turns back around

"then, of course i have to thank daniel for being the pefect harry, emma for being the perfect hermione, tom for being an exceptional draco and the list is endless and i'd be on the floor out of breath if i even tried to say every single cast member but they are all aware of how much i love and adore them because i literally don't go a day without telling them and reminding them how much happiness and safety they have truly brought into my life *laughter*. working on harry potter with everyone i've mentioned and those i haven't has been a pleasure and i didn't know little eight, nine, ten-year-old me needed it but she really did..." she sighed as she knew she was running out of time but wanted to make sure she said everything 

"...she was a little girl that was struggling with many things but believing was one of them. just before i got potter, i stopped believing in a multitude of things, like fairytales, christmas, halloween, easter, magic even i stopped believing in because i was a broken little girl that was exhausted but shouldn't have been. it wasn't until i got casted as evangeline and i started potter that i dreamt those wonderful dreams that i used to when i was much younger. it wasn't until chamber of secrets, when ginny and evangeline finally join the golden trio at hogwarts that i finally believed in things again." marlise felt emotional again as she giggled before continuing

 "and it was prisoner of azkaban that i finally believed in myself again. i was a burnt out golden child, similar to harry himself, that was exhausted and wanted a way out to finally imagine and pretend she was a girl that lived in a world of magic that went to a magical school and got to learn how to use magic every single day. and i did. and it was the most magical ten years of my life and if i had the opportunity to use hermione's time turner and rewind time all the way back to the beginning and do it all over again, i'd do it in a heartbeat because it meant i got to be that happy, imaginative, wonderous little kid i couldn't be before i started potter..." and now marlise was running out of time as she widened her eyes in fear 

"...i need to stop talking now because i now fear that i've made you all fall asleep in pure boredom so i am so sorry *shy giggle* but umm, again, thank you so much to every single person at the british film and television academy for this award and thank you for trusting me to play your guys' evangeline weasley! this is for all the burnt out golden children who just want to be able to dream again!" marlise finished as she hoisted her bafta high as possible as everyone (but mostly her hp family) screamed, applauded and cried for joy at their costar's success as mark, julie and marlise walked off stage together so the last couple categories could be called out 

the last few categories were announced and then the award show was over and the after-party was for sure a hit as it roared in jubilation for all the winners but also for those that were nominated. 

*

the baftas were over now and it was pretty much the end of the award circut for the season but most especially for the harry potter cast and crew family. the award circut was the last thing they were doing together before it finished in it's entirety so it truly meant that it was the end of the harry potter journey. marlise decided to show some photos of the evening as she cuddled up against emma and tom in the hotel room they had booked together since there was no way they'd be bothered to drive back to their london homes. 

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marlisesaintpierre bafta awards 2012

-

i have literally dreamt of this day ever since first appearing in potter on platform nine and three quarters with bonnie wright in philsopher's stone. i know i mentioned it in my speech but, because of how burnt out i was as a kid, i always thought i'd be embarrassed by any other further award i'd win. it wasn't until i joined potter that i learnt i couldn't be embarrassed because i knew how excited i used to be as a little girl to get those awards even though i did become embarrassed of it when i became a teenager.

i am beyond thankful that i'm not that embarrassed teenage marlise anymore because i longer feel like i'd get embarrassed about receiving this award or my speech. i am beyond grateful that it was for harry potter that i got this award but especially this last one. working on potter was an honour and it's something i'll never be able to replicate ever again for the rest of my life no matter what movie franchise or television show i do in the future. and, i'm glad that i'll never experience anything like potter ever again. these movies will always be the movies that i grew up on and nothing will change that and neither will the people that i worked and grew up with on that set with.

i've already extensively thanked my castmates, during my speech tonight, whilst we were filming, after we finished filming, during the promotion and premieres and now at the very end of our award season. i don't think i need to thank them anymore nor do they want to hear it quite frankly. even though no matter how much i thank them, it'll never truly be enough because they have truly changed my life, every single person in potter and i am forever grateful for it. 

whilst i am genuinely devastated that it's finally come to an end and that the ten years of our special magical thing has ended, i wouldn't have wanted to celebrate it with anyone else. harry potter and it's universe has been an honour and a project that i'm never going to forget. and like sirius black once said, "the ones that love us never really leave us. you can always find them in here." and that's where they are, in my heart, and where they and evangeline will stay forever

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oliver_phelps i am beyond proud of you, mars, best baby sister ever! 

jamesphelps_pictures you were the perfect evangeline, mars! you deserved that award more than anyone else! i truly believe it was the little girl inside of you that gave you that bafta 

bonniewright still in shambles over this! you deserved this so much sister! 

emmawatson never have i cried so much during an award show then i did during this one 

rupertgrint gingers unite! well done sister, you deserved that award! 

tomfelton you deserved that award sweetheart! also, don't apologise for the accidental smooch, it wasn't your fault at all, it was mine, i moved too quickly  🤍

fin

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2026

[amberjazmyn]

hogwarts will always be home

pairing : harry potter cast x platonic hp cast fem!reader

summary : the final harry potter movie has been filmed and it is now days from being released. during the final press conference before the london premiere, the cast, crew and one hundred lucky harry potter fans get the opportunity of a lifetime: watching a scene of evangeline weasley reacting to the death of her brother fred weasley and the actress, marlise saint pierre getting her well earnt applause.

warnings : mild language, h.p castmates supporting castmates, crying, h.p scene and evangeline weasley's reaction to fred's death in h.p d.h pt two

a/n : this is sad but not too sad hopefully. this obviously includes the canon death of fred weasley but just to remind everyone, evangeline weasley is not a real character and is the ficticious younger twin sister to ginny weasley.

marlise saint pierre had been doing harry potter since she was ten or eleven, maybe even nine, and now she was almost twenty. the very last installment of the film series was now about to be released with the movies cast and crew promotion tour nearing its end. one of her final scenes of principal photography of harry potter was the scene where her character reacts to her older brother fred's death in the great hall. the scene taking place during a break lord voldemort granted so those alive could dispose of their dead with dignity and tend to the injured whilst he looked on his own for harry potter.

today was the second to last day of promotion for deathly hallows part two before the world premiere tomorrow evening with the entire cast and crew of harry potter. a special group of one hundred fans tonight being shown this particular scene before the rest of the world are at tomorrow's world premiere. since it would be an emotional fourty-eight hours, because aftrer this press conference showing evangeline's reaction to fred's death, the movie was going to be shown to the rest of the world at tomorrow's premiere at trafalgar square.

marlise smiled as she sat inbetween her movie siblings james phelps and bonnie wright who played her twin sister ginny weasley. rupert grint, her other brother ron weasley sat on the other side of james whilst oliver phelps sat on the other side of bonnie. the rest of the cast spread around but all paid attention to marlise even though the scene was mostly fred focused.

the ginger girl smiled as she sat crosslegged, her right over her left. worried she was going to expose herself due to the yellow dress she was wearing, however, james made sure she wouldn't be as she smiled. her arms resting over her lap, her right hand and microphone over her left arm whilst james had his arm resting on her thighs. the both of them, and the rest of their cast, smiling and waving at the one hundred fans who sat in front of them.

*

the moderator for the press conference was david heyman, one of the movie series' primary producers and he was flattered by all the applause. quickly shutting it down however so he could begin the evening which was created to finish up the huge spectacle of harry potter's ending with the grand finale at the world premiere the next day.

"cast, crew and fans of harry potter, are we ready to see this special scene of our favourite set of weasley twins?" david announced into his mic after getting the crowd silenced as they quickly shouted "nooo!" and let out a collective awe as the cast chuckled 

"well, i am terribly sorry but that is why we are all here!" david announced again which made everyone laugh, his attention then turning to the three actors in the middle - james phelps, marlise saint pierre and bonnie wright and then rupert grint who was next to james and oliver who was sat next to bonnie

for a reason that was unknown, marlise burst out into laughter, feeling slightly uncomfortable that this event was made just to praise her acting as evangeline weasley in what was quite the traumatic and heartbreaking scene. especially when it was going to be an even bigger event the next day at the world premiere and shown in full with the rest of the movie. despite that though, marlise did know why they were doing it because she wasn't the first cast member to have this treatment so she was quite honoured and grateful she was being acknowledged for a scene. a scene which she claims was her best scene of acting in the entire eight-movie series.

"so, marlise, let's start with you darling. how did that day of filming go when you and james, alongside rupert, oliver and bonnie had to film the family's reaction to fred's death scene?" david questions as marlise smiles fondly as she swings her microphone back and forth in her hand

"wow...great question david, what a way to bring back all that trauma *giggles*. but, in all seriousness, it was a long stressful day if my memory serves me right. i mean, that day was actually one of, if not, my last day of principal photography until i came back to watch rupert, daniel and emma's final day and then the wrap party..." marlise trailed off as emma, rupert and daniel nodded their heads in agreement

"...and the second part of the question, it's quite obvious in the scene that we will eventually watch but, i've said this ever since shooting the scene but, that moment was probably, dare i say it, my best one minute of acting in all eight movies. and the best thing is it's all contained in that one minute scene of me just reacting with the least amount of dialogue which i requested personally and i just adore it. and it honestly is an honour that a special select number of fans are here to watch it tonight before everyone else sees it tomorrow night at the premiere," she pauses as david nods his head with a smile as he lets her continue

"but, in saying that, whilst it's my favourite scene ever, it was definitely a stressful time for all of us, oliver, rupert and bonnie. i leave out james cause all he had to do was play dead which resulted in him falling asleep and missing lunch *giggles*. but, honestly, i'd have to say, filming that scene on what was one of my last days was possibly one of the most traumatic ways, if not the most, i've ever ended on a movie set, much less a harry potter set. so, due to how exhausting it was to film, i was so glad when cut was called that i know for me personally, sleeping came way too easily for me that night," marlise ended as she leant to the side slightly in her seat as she smiled at her cast members

"thank you for that marlise. we'll now move to the other weasley siblings, oliver, bonnie and rupert, what was that day of filming like for you? was it the worst day of filming you've ever had?" david questions as oliver giggles, bonnie and rupert smiling as oliver takes control

"uh...in all honesty, a lot of people would have thought it would have been devastating for me especially because james is my brother and, whilst it was horrible, i was still able to separate george and oliver. however, it still wasn't the most fun i'd ever had on set since i could only do about five takes i think before i just got exhausted and wasn't able to do anymore. and i did find it weird crying over the death of my twin when i knew in my subconscious that he was just sleeping. but, we got through it and truthfully, it's been a pleasure to be apart of this journey and i truly don't know what to make of it's end. but no, it wasn't my worst day on set as i've maybe had one a little worse," oliver chuckled at the end as he smiled and gave a head nod, rupert and bonnie agreeing with oliver's response as david allowed that to be the end

"daniel, moving on to you, you obviously finished later than marlise but you were on set for marlise's last day. you had to watch and be apart of the scene as harry, are you able to go through with all of us what it was like to watch the scene as harry as well as some easter eggs you are allowed to finally reveal?" david smiles at the actor who smiles back as he responds

"i'd love too david. i mean, having to do that scene was very strange as oliver's already mentioned because it was just weird watching someone as comedic and happy as the weasley twins and family go through something as traumatic as the loss of a brother and son. especially when it was so close to the end and having all the weasley's making it out of the war alive..." daniel trails off as david nods his head

"...but, it was also strange because watching james pretend to be dead was just weird *giggles*. and like oliver said, whilst it was in some way difficult, it was still easy for me to separate myself from harry because i knew it wasn't real. i know that it was different for marlise and rupert i think but, for me it wasn't as traumatic but it was still a scene that i thought was done brilliantly by everyone *applause*. and, some easter eggs? i mean, i don't really know since we filmed both parts, one and two, back to back so i can't really remember if there are any..." he trails off again as he tries to think up of some easter eggs as it seems to all flood back to him

"...i mean, the big battle scenes are obviously filled with easter eggs as they have things that have been seen in the previous movies but, yeah, i can't really think of any proper easter eggs that are just new to this part two movie. but, if i could just give some well deserved credit and praise, i'd like to give it to marlise because i..." daniel's praise for marlise was overtaken by loud applause which rendered the cast speechless as marlise's eyes widened as she looked at daniel

"...absolutely, that applause was well needed and deserved because as i was going to say, marlise is absolutely phenomonal, not just in this last movie but during the entire series. she says that the scene we're about to watch of her reaction to fred's death was her best ever acting but, i've got to disagree a little bit. because i'm going to say that the entire movie of dealthy hallows part two and even the part one and half-blood prince has the best of marlise's acting in it. like, i'm being dead serious as i had never seen anyone in my life be so immersed in their character like i have in marlise as evangeline. and, to be honest, i am so glad that it was marlise that was cast to play her for the whole franchise..." daniel trailed off as marlise smiled with a look of appreciation and love for her castmate as they blew kisses at one another

david then interjected softly, "...was there ever a moment, if we're going to continue to spoil marlise...and this is for any of you guys to answer...that any of you saw her break character? whether that was due to laughter or because she got too emotional in a scene?" david asks as immediately, laughter explodes as they see tom felton rushing to grab the microphone from daniel's hand

marlise hides her face in her hands, knowing exactly what tom was about to say, "...oh my gosh, yes! i have been waiting so long to say this if i got the change to. but, before i do, just to give a disclaimer, i have been given permission from marlise to say this..." tom trailed off as marlise giggled, nodding her head in her hands as giggles are heard all around the room

"...so, basically, we were filming a scene in hallows part one i think during bill and fleur's wedding, marlise as gigi obviously, was supposed to run over to the trio just before they apparated to london, begging them to stay safe and to come home. but, as marlise started to run, she was running and then a second later, not even, she wasn't running anymore and was on the ground..." tom trailed off with a giggle as marlise lifted her head up as she shook her head again in embarrassment

"...thankfully, she was completely fine and wasn't hurt at all which we all made sure of but, i just remember watching it on the monitor and laughing my arse off due to how funny it was. and how hard marlise tried as hard as she could to hide it but she just couldn't. she just totally gave up and fully accepted the fact she had just slipped and fell and just laid out like a starfish on the ground. asking us for help, which me, james and rupert did after laughing for about five minutes, daniel and emma were unable to stop laughing so they were useless in helping marlise. so that moment was quite a funny moment during filming but, a moment she got too into character was definitely when they were filming fred's death scene..." tom trailed off again due to loud noises from the audience as the cast smiled and giggled as tom continued

"...i'm mentioning this before we watch the scene because, for those who don't know this, marlise isn't someone who cries a lot like, she is not a crier at all. it's very hard to make or see her cry but when she's in character as evangeline it's the easiest thing in the world for her. it's like if you count down from three and ask her to cry, she can do it for you right there on command and hand it to you on a platter. so, watching the scene fold out on the monitor and watching as she cried over the death of fred didn't feel like we were watching our marlise film a movie scene. however, we just continued to watch, not calling for a cut just thinking that after the cut that marlise would just snap out of it and laugh about it. however, she didn't snap out of it, she stayed on the floor crying and that was when we all realised that something wasn't quite as okay as we all originally thought it was..." tom paused to breathe as marlise smiled with a nod of her head

"...it was in this moment that we realised she wasn't acting, this wasn't evangeline that was reacting to and grieving fred's death, it was marlise reacting and her grief of the thought of james being dead on the floor and it was soul destroying. we had never seen marlise cry that hard before, i don't even think before that moment, i had even seen marlise cry outside of a scene as herself. so, watching as she quite literally collapsed to her knees over james as fred was something i don't think i'll be able to erase from my memory anytime soon. especially after watching the scenes tonight and tomorrow night at the premiere. and it was also something that just wasn't funny but, if there was something funny about something that wasn't funny at all, was how much it struck rupert and how that led the way he played out his grief in that scene when it was his coverage as rupe is another one of us that isn't a crier...but...yeah, i think that's the two things i can share..." tom finishes as everyone on stage smiles and nodded their head in agreement 

as david then used that as part of his next question, "...so, tom, did marlise's tears in that moment cause any of you guys to cry or was it just rupert that she set off?" david chuckled as tom nodded his head with a giggle

"yes! i wasn't even supposed to be on set that day but i asked and snuck my way through and watched on the monitor and just out of nowhere started to tear up as i heard marlise cry knowing it wasn't her character but actually her," tom giggled as other cast members started to nod their head in agreement as marlise just looked shy

"marlise, going back to you, do you remember anything else about that last day on set or returning for the trio's last day? or did you just block it all out because of the pain?" david asks with a smile as marlise giggles

"oh...umm..yeah. first off, i'm gonna agree with everything else my fellow castmates have already said. however, i did make a bet with james and i will sell him out and say that the bet was if i got through my last few days on set without getting emotional, him and oliver would buy me a new car!" marlise laughed as did everyone else, all knowing why she agreed on the bet

"knowing why you agreed to the bet because you knew you'd win over the twins, how did the bet actually go?" david chuckled as marlise also did and shook her head in embarrassment

"james made the smart decision to call the bet right before filming evangeline's reaction to fred's death so i lost and didn't get the car," marlise giggled with embarrassment as james then grabbed the microhone

"can i just say that whilst mars lost the bet, we still bought the car for her anyway. she deserves it and we were still going to give her the new car whether or not she won the bet. which was why i called it during that specific scene," james spoke up as marlise almost could have cried in that moment as she just lit up as everyone let out variations of 'aww'

"oh, james, that is so sweet of you! what car did you guys buy for her?" david questioned, his hand over his heart as james smiled, speaking up

"a pink bmw with a convertible car hood," james smiled as everyone cheered including david

"that's such a sweet surprise! however, we do have to move on so we don't fall behind so, i now have been told it's time to stop the questions as the time has come for the tape to be rolled and watch the scene that marlise saint pierre calls her best acting in the entire film series on harry potter and the dealthy hallows part two!" he announces as everyone cheers, marlise is shy but doesn't cast her head to look away

the entire cast moves closer together whilst the fans do the same as the scene plays. marlise still doesn't look away as she smiles, feeling the sensation of james holding her hand.

evangeline was borderline insane for thinking this war would be over soon. limping and stumbling through the great hall during a break in fighting, she noticed a lump of people huddling around something. the ginger locks undeniably recognisable as the ginger hair of her family, the weasley's. most importantly, her twin sister ginny's, her parents and two of her brother's george and percy. okay, so far, all of her family were alive that she could see.

until she noticed the person laying still on the floor...once again, the ginger hair unmistakingly recognisable as she couldn't help as her body just started to run towards the crowd of people. she remembered the very thing that her brother fred was doing the last time she had seen him. she remembers because he was with their older brother percy and the anger she remembers having when she saw the two of them talking. so casually as though percy hadn't betrayed his family for the ministry of magic. but, even though she was mad, she still knew that her two brothers together were unstoppable together and were great wizards. there was absolutely no way in wizard hell that evangeline's older brother fred was laying dead and motionless on the floor of the great hall.

then, evangeline moved closer to her family, the cries that were ony just a whisper were now guttural and filling her ears loudly. the cries were coming from george, fred's twin and that was when she knew that what was happening in front of her wasn't a nightmare. fred was actually dead and there was nothing that could change that, no magic spell, no wandwaving, no time turning, not anything in the wizarding world could change fred dying during the battle of hogwarts and she couldn't stop it from happening.

hearing george's cries over fred felt as though evangeline was hearing angel's cry. it was so painful that she felt as though she couldn't breath. she couldn't walk anymore and felt like she was going to have a heart attack. it was the moment of evangeline beginning to hyperventilate, clutching at her throat and stomach that caught the attention of evangeline's mum, molly. 

rushing over to her daughter, molly grabbed for her daughter's waist just as evangeline started to collapse to the floor as she started to cry out, "...no...i can't...i can't breathe...please...mum...it can't be fred..." evangeline cried as she held tightly to her mum, screaming when molly wouldn't respond with words

"...please...it can't be freddi...he wasn't...it wasn't his time to die..." evangeline screamed as she tried to reach out for her older brother as molly continued to hold her daughter back and smooth her hair to try and console her

however, this time, molly had to say something, "...i'm sorry baby but it is fred...there wasn't anything they could do to save him..." of course, this wasn't at all comforting but it was the truth and it was what evangeline needed to hear

however, it only made it worse. evangeline screamed even louder and pushed her mum out of the way, falling to the floor and on top of her brother as she hugged him. crying over his still body, evangeline did not let go, despite efforts from molly, her dad arthur and older brothers george and percy. 

whilst evangeline was a master at fixing superficial wounds on the forehead, arms, legs and magic away the blood, she couldn't magic away the death of her brother. no matter how much she wanted to, she knew she couldn't try it, she knew she couldn't wave her wand and bring her brother back. because that was impossible, even in the wizarding world there were still limitations. bringing people back from the dead was impossible and just simply not doable.

evangeline continued to weep over her brother's body, the cries coming from the deepest part of her gut and they pierced through the ears of every single person in the great hall, whether they were dead or alive.

a shiver then was felt down evangeline's spine as she felt the hand of her mum caressing her messy and bloodied hair. molly knew that evangeline would have reacted in this way no matter who it was in her family that was killed but, it cut deeper because of how close evangeline was with fred.

fred was her best friend if you didn't count his and evangeline's twins, george and ginny. outside of their twins, fred and evangeline were as thick as thieves they were so close. they were best friends and now, evangeline had to live the rest of her life without her older brother, which she had never done before in her life.

"...please don't go freddie...why didn't percy do anything to save you..." evangeline whispers, lifting her head up after crying herself out as she turned to hear the footsteps of ron who had finally joined

then, it didn't take long before ron broke down, falling to the floor as hugged evangeline the tightest he had ever hugged her before as they both dropped to the floor. it was the first time evangeline had seen her brother cry like this. the both of them leaning closer to fred as they continued to hug until they broke from the hug to lay down next to fred, their heads laying on top of his chest.

molly fighting the battle in her head about which kid she had to comfort, the two younger ones that were wailing over their dead brother, the other twin son that was now having to live without his twin or her other twin daughter that was starring off into the distance. she eventually decided to comfort evangeline and ron first before switching to george, percy and ginny before going back to the floor to comfort fred, smoothing his hair back and caressing his face.

eventually, evangeline forced herself to stand up, leaving ron, who was still in tears over fred and molly as she continued to play with both ron and fred's hair. standing up so she could comfort george, she hadn't hugged him yet and she knew he needed it the most. and her heart broke as she watched george crumble in her hold as her face turned to stone as she looked over. behind her stood harry, pure shock and nuanced devastation covering his face and she latched onto it. latching onto someone, who wasn't in her family, and their grief was grounding for evangeline. 

her belief for this relief was because she felt relieved that it wasn't harry or ron or hermione, but especially her own twin sister ginny, that was laid dead on the ground, so cold and lifeless. even then, she felt awful for feeling like that because fred was still her older brother and she couldn't understand why she felt so relieved when she was currently comforting her brother george who had just lost his own twin. at this point, the relief wasn't over that truly but for the fact that voldemort had even given them a break so they could have this moment with their dead and injured.

after a touching moment of evangeline pulling out of her and her brother's hug only to pull her and george's faces closer together, she fully pulled out of the hug as she directed ron and george to one another. she then turned all around her only to see just how many familiar faces of those who where laying dead and cold, just like her brother was. tonks and remus, lavender brown, colin creevy, a random hufflepuff student she remembers set her up on a date with a ravenclaw, professor snape...so many people.

so many people and there was nothing else evangeline could do to stop it until harry gave himself up to voldemort. with one last look to harry, evangeline forced her tired, sore and bloody body away from the great hall to see if she could find professor mcgonagall to provide some help since the last she saw, help was something that was greatly needed.

she also left her family because she needed a distraction, it tore her apart that her family had to lose a brother and son during this war. reminding her that just maybe, there was truly no such thing as happy endings for the weasley family.

marlise smiled shyly once again as the video faded to black and the press conference room erupted into applause for her. she then took her time, noticing her castmates as she noticed the way they sat and watched with emotion and awe, unable to look away. by the time they all realised the scene was over, they were all teary-eyed or lost for words by just how marvelous their castmate's acting was. which totally supported the statement that marlise jokes was her best acting throughout the eight harry potter movies.

"...wow...i mean...i don't know if anyone else is but i am totally speechless! that was marlise saint pierre as evangeline weasley reacting to her brother fred weasley's death scene in deathly hallows part two!" david announces as the audience applauds even louder as marlise is once again shy, her hand still held by james

"marlise, coming to you first, what was it like watching the scene back after knowing gigi's been on the run for so long and hadn't had a chance to slow down until then?" david asks as the actress giggles

"i mean, as you just mentioned david, gigi had been on the run since the start of part one of hallows since she decided she was smart and rebel before returning to hogwarts just in time for part two and it truly wasn't until finding out one of her brothers had died that she was forced to stop and take that time to slow down. it allowed her to realise and accept that she was in the middle of a huge war against voldemort and his death eaters. and that no matter how badly she wanted her side to win, she shouldn't have been so naive to think that there wouldn't be any deaths along the way even if she never imagined one of them being one of her family members," marlise explained as she smiled at the cheer she received

"and, watching the scene back, sorry i forgot the second half of the question, i have to admit was really interesting! like, i usually am quite shy when it comes to watching myself back, i usually hate it completely but, with this scene, i just couldn't turn away. like, i actually forgot that it was me in that scene that we were watching and i actually didn't want to take my eyes away from the screen so, i think it was a perfectly written and executed scene so i'm glad we were able to bring justice to it," marlise smiled as she looked at david who smiled back

"i mean, i think all of us on this stage and in this audience had the same feelings about the scene marlise so, i'm sure the excitement to watch the entire movie tomorrow night is high!" david smiles as cheers again erupt throughout the room

the producer was then given another card that was full of even more questions which provided a lot of laughter and many a sweet moment but, by the time it reached the last question, it kind of got a bit emotional for everyone. 

the question was 'how does it feel knowing harry potter is over for good?' and marlise responded saying 'it doesn't feel sad at all because i know that hogwarts will always be home' which caused a few tears by a couple of people around her.

after david finished trying to stop himself from crying, he quietened everyone again and finished up the evening since the world premiere was tomorrow and needed to be perfect and run absolutely smoothly. even though he didn't want to, he knew he had to because there was no use in prolonging the ending of the decade-long saga of harry potter, his friends and their journey any longer than he secretly wanted to. anyway, it was sort of late when it did end and everyone returned to their hotels or homes and they didn't want to worry about tomorrow night running late. 

*

posting her first ever instagram post, marlise was short and sweet with her caption that matched with a photo of a scene from the yule ball dance from harry potter and the goblet of fire for marlise didn't want to share d.h photos and backstage photos just yet. 

liked by oliverphelps, jamesphelpspictures, emmawatson, rupertgrint and 980 others

marlisesaintpierre mischief managed ⚡

view all comments

oliverphelps hey that's my line! 

jamesphelpspictures mischief has been managed 

emmawatson crying all over again 

rupertgrint hogwarts will always be here to welcome us home! 

fin

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2026

[amberjazmyn]

battle of hogwarts

pairing : the golden trio x weasley!fem reader

summary : my version of the battle of hogwarts with my own oc who i've made to be the twin sister of ginny weasley, evangeline (gigi) weasley.

warnings : typicial harry potter warnings, major character death, blood, death, war, fire, tears, grief.

a/n : i know i have this published on wattpad but i just decided that if i recently added my westlife masterlist to my tumblr, i might as well add my harry potter one. especially since i'm slowly starting to write h.p fics again.

evangeline weasley, the youngest and twin sister to ginny weasley could hardly believe what she was watching. she couldn't even believe she was apart of it, never thinking it would get this far upon the ground of her own school, hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. all because lord voldemort was still obsessed over killing harry potter.

evangeline weasley is younger than her twin ginny by five minutes, the latter loving and always using it to her advantage any day. evangeline never minding since she just loved being ginny's younger sister and best friend. however, that wasn't what evangeline was focusing on, currently, she was focusing on staying alive and preventing this wizarding war going any longer. meaning they need to kill voldy soon and quickly.

at the current moment, ginny and evangeline are sixteen in their sixth-year, spending it at hogwarts trying to find harry, ginny's boyfriend. he had left to find the final two horcruxes to then destroy them so voldemort could die for good. a loud booming noise then erupted, jumping at the sound, ginny grabbed her sister's hand tightly, ginny's wand held in her right hand ready to casr a spell, should anyone try anything.

it was moments like this that evangeline remembered how much she loved having a twin sister like ginny and how much she idolized her. the same way in which she idolized her older brothers, especially the twins fred and george and ron.

evangeline's pov

speaking of my twin brothers, where did they go? i thought they were supposed to stay with ginny and i?

as i tried to see if i could find their signature ginger hair, a bright light blasts forwards towards me, before i can even process the spell or raise my wand, ginny's voice and her wand rebounds in my mind. a strong and hard "crucio!" is casted without missing a single beat as i manage to get myself out of the way as i then look up to see fred. giving me an out, ginny does not stop sending the crucio as i rush over to fred who envelops me into his body for a moment. ginny releases the spell as the death eater drops to the ground as she then joins the group hug.

"...oh thank goodness you're okay gigi! we need you safe!" fred mumbled, holding me tightly, ginny wiggling into the group hug as my eyes widen

the death eater was getting up from the floor and raising their wand again. pulling away from fred and ginny, i raised my own wand. we have a stand off as i look up and down at the death eater, i couldn't believe how emaciated he was. it looked like it had been years since he'd eaten a proper meal.

the next thing i saw was bright lights except for the one that was a flicker of green emitting from the death eater's wand in front of me. just before i could cast my own spell, once again, ginny disarmed what would have been the death eater's killing curse.

"...expelliarmus!" ginny yells as the death eater is disarmed as his eyes darkened in anger

but just before he could try again and pick his wand up, ginny yells "stupefy" casting him across the room and rendering him unconscious as ginny ran back over to me. hugging me tightly but pushes me out of the great hall's entryway as we rush to the side stairs to hide. leaving fred on his own in the great hall.

"he...he just..." i stammered, unable to say what i wanted to say as ginny nodded her head, the two of us slowing down as we noticed the part of the castle we were in being quite hidden and secluded from the main fighting zone

relaxing for what felt like mere seconds, ginny nodded and looked at me, "...i know, gigi, it was the killing curse and you are so lucky it missed you. that death eater, antonin dolohov, his aim was shocking but it may have just been that crooked aim that saved your life. i didn't even need to cast either of the spells, i just wanted to slow him down," ginny smiled as she held my hand again as i smiled as i looked down at our connected hands

"what...what if he hadn't of missed..." i wondered out loud though i hadn't meant to as ginny's eyes widened, tugging me closer to her

"...if that manky old death eater killed you, i would never forgive myself for letting some scum like him murder my twin sister in front of me like that. i don't know what i would have done if he hadn't of missed, i can't even imagine nor do i want to imagine my life without you with me. i'd fall apart, gigi, you're my best friend," ginny muttered, her voice soft which was different to the expression on her face as i smiled

whilst ginny and i were twins, it was very obvious as to who was who. sure, we are identical but, not fred and george identical. ginny has brown eyes and flaming red hair whilst i have green eyes and flaming red hair. my hair however is longer, at my waist, whilst ginny's is just below shoulder length. ginny is a couple of meters taller than me and the both of us are covered in freckles. one last thing that was the key difference between ginny and me, i have a scar that's visible on my cheek whereas ginny doesn't. anyway, this is besides the point, we're in a war right now, not talking about the ways to identify between twins.

it had now suddenly been quiet for a little too long and it didn't feel like a friendly silence either. and it seems like my sudden gut feeling was correct. it was me this time that heard a voice followed by a black cloaked figure with his wand at the ready to cast a spell at ginny.

raising my own wand, "stupefy" was casted as it was my turn to reach for ginny's hand as we bolted out of the way faster than we ever had before. not even thinking about looking behind us to see if the death eater had begun following after us

as ginny and i ran off, she didn't have time to thank me but, at this point, there was no need. it was obvious how thankful we were each time we were spared another moment of our lives during this war. it was a waste of time if we thanked each other after every save. besides, there wasn't any time since another spell came flashing way too close. turning back, ginny's hand clasped in mine as i yell out another "stupefy". resting against a wall for a quick breath of air, ginny and i ran through the torn grounds of hogwarts, our beloved school that was being destroyed.

as we ran through our school, we ran past percy and fred as i started to slow down, my running speed significantly slowing down. ginny struggling to not bump into me as she was behind me but i couldn't lie and say i wasn't bothered because i was.

the two of them, percy and fred, were talking to each other so casually as though percy hadn't decided to betray his own family for the ministry of magic. it made me mad, indescribably mad, how i wished percy had the balls to stand up to me or just step away from his pride and just say he was sorry.

sorry for everything he had done to me and ginny in our childhood that the other siblings didn't get. it was all i ever wanted, not that it's hard or too much to ask for, just a small apology. ginny then smacked me lightly, giving the sharp reminder of the war that was still happening all around us.

"...hey...gigi, ignore percy and fred, we can't stop running! we're in a war, we need to help!" ginny smacked, snapping me out of my rage as i nodded my head as my pace picked up again casting more spells

running for so long and running out of air is what reminded me that i was still alive, still not dead but fucking hell i needed a break. after running away from percy and fred, ginny and i suddenly jumped, looking over to see what looked like an explosion. my eyes widened, only hoping and praying that the explosion we just heard wasn't near percy and fred and that they were still okay. but, even though the explosion could have injured or killed two of our brothers, ginny and i knew we couldn't stop our fighting. continuing to send spells and hexes to transfigure, kill, maim and stun the death eaters was what kept us going.

in a spot of stillness, i spoke up, "the explosion g, where do you think it came from?" i whispered, my back against ginny's as we took time to breathe

"i...i'm not sure gigi but, i doubt percy and fred are in trouble, we just need to keep fighting and i promise, this war will be over soon and voldemort will be gone forever!" ginny reassured as we got our breath back before we continued running

"one can only hope..." i muttered as i couldn't help but think at just how close that explosion sounded to percy and fred but i still had to ignore it because as selfish as it sounded, there were even bigger things to think about right now

*

as my lungs continued to fight against me, ginny and i continued to fight in this war. injuring and killing a few more death eaters with each other's help and the help of some other students like dean thomas, seamus finnigan and cho chang. then, as that group left running elsewhere to fight, saving ginny from again being stunned, i noticed percy. he was looking distressed, a little dishelved and on his own, fred no longer by his side as he ran over to ginny and i.

lowering both mine and ginny's wands, i grabbed her hand and helped her stand up, "gin, percy's coming over, fred's not with him..." ginny gulped as she didn't let go of my hand as we breathed heavily as we watched our brother walk over to us in agony

speaking first, ginny looks worried, "...perce, what's wrong? where's fred, why isn't he with you?" she questions as percy doesn't answer at first as my breathing shakes in fear

"percy?" ginny asks once again, pushing our brother for an answer as he refuses to look at us

knowing percy wouldn't answer ginny, i made him answer to me, "percy, where is fred?" screaming, tears build in my eyes as percy's jaw clenched as i immediately felt a bad feeling rise in the pit of my stomach

"i...i...there wasn't anything i could do...i was...i was too late...i was too distracted and...and my wand was in my pocket...i...i am so sorry..." percy stammered as he finally looked at ginny and i as my legs went to jelly

i was already struggling to stand due to the tireless running ginny and i had done the entire duration of the war so far. but, it was a miracle i was still standing after the news percy just announced. my wand was moments from slipping out of my hand and breaking before ginny skilfully grabbed it.

"...no...percy...you tried to do something at least, right? come on percy, of course you tried, tried something to save our brother, right?" ginny begged in despair as she held my wand as percy shook his head in shame

"i...i really am sorry...i...i was fighting a death eater when the minister joined and i told him i was resigning from the ministry of magic. fred then asked me if i was joking as he hadn't seen me joke ever and then, in the middle of that sentence was when it happened. and it all happened so fast, a death eater caused the wall next to fred to collapse and it fell on top of him and just killed him. honestly, i wish i tried to stop the wall from crushing fred but i couldn't. not that i even tried to stop it...i'm sorry i didn't try to stop it..." percy was almost weepy and that wasn't normal for him since he was always stoic and never one to cry

at this point, i was beyond devastated with grief, i hadn't even noticed the way ginny was holding me since i could barely hold my own body up anymore. she then gave percy a side hug whilst still holding onto me as my anger for percy hadn't vanished as i grieved over fred. my anger still strong as i now added percy letting fred die from a collapsed wall to my list of reasons why i was still angry at percy. and he still hadn't apologised for any of the other things he had done.

as he pulled out of the awkward hug with ginny, percy muttered, "g...gigi?" i could tell he hoped by calling me by my nickname that it would soften the blow of anger but it quite honestly made me even angrier

"please...evangeline...say something. i'm really sorry that i couldn't save fred, okay?" percy pleaded as i refused to speak to him as the three of us walked into the great hall

walking into the destroyed great hall was something i was going to remember forever even if i didn't want to. this wasn't how i wanted to remember the great hall...my great hall as. i wanted to remember it as a lively, happy and cheerful place where me, my friends and the staff and students celebrated, ate and had fun during the school term. not as this an obliterated warzone with rubble and stone and the dead bodies of fellow students, staff, friends, family and death eaters. these dead bodies littered everywhere around the school all because of one single selfish man who was obsessed with killed one singular boy.

percy was still trying his hardest to get me to talk to him as i continued to ignore him and refusing. i then noticed mum, dad, george, bill and fleur crying over fred's dead body as i also noticed who was missing. ron, he still had no idea and neither did harry and hermione.

as we reached our family's gathering spot in the great hall, i spotted george straight away. it wasn't hard now that it was just him alive which sounded ever so distasteful. pulling away from ginny and wanting to be as far away from percy, i ran over to george and the closer i got the closer it became obvious just how distraught george was.

just as i was about to open my arms to give george a hug, from one identical twin in our family to another, my ears perked up at hearing the one voice in our family's that i hated the most as my tummy bubbled with anger.

"evangeline!" percy yelled throughout the great hall as i rolled my eyes, ignoring percy as i moved closer to hug george

however, he yells out my name once again, "evangeline weasley!" and this time, i brushed my hand against george's and turned around, the entirety of the great hall was now watching 

i tried to calm myself as best as i could so this confrontation didn't end in me killing percy with my bare hands. as i got closer to percy, i noticed the look on his face and he was terrified. i reached out, grabbing him as i pulled him aside where no one else could hear our conversation. everyone who turned to watch eventually getting the picture and stopped being nosy nellies, turning away and resuming their original activities. 

my body filling with rage as i wished it was percy that was caught under the blasted wall, not fred, "what, percy?" my words came out harsh and like a punch to the gut as i could feel percy's shaking breath

whilst i couldn't forgive the other awful things he had done, despite wishing i could, i still remembered that percy was my brother and at the end of the day, that fact still meant something to me.

"please, evangeline. i'm sorry about not being able to save fred," percy repeated as i contained my eye roll as i took in a deep breath

it was during this deep breath that i truly couldn't blame or be mad at percy for fred's death anymore. no matter how long i wanted to stretch out this anger and blame game, i couldn't and it was never okay for me to do so in the first place. my anger for percy has always been for the other things that he still hadn't acknowledged, not fred's death.

and it truly wasn't percy's fault, it was a cruel time and place for it to happen whilst the two brothers were talking and joking like when they were kids. i just wanted to blame someone for fred's death and because i still harboured a whole load of anger for percy, who just happened to be with him as he died, percy was an easy target for my anger.

"perce...stop apololgising about fred's death, i know you couldn't save him. as much as i wished you could have, it's pretty obvious you couldn't. it just hurts knowing that george is now going to have to live the rest of his life without his best friend, his twin flame, by his side. and that our family is now forever broken because of this. instead of apologising for something you can't change and to someone that's dead, try apologising about something you can change. and maybe start that by apologising to me because there's a difference when a person's dead who can't accept an apology and someone who's alive that still hasn't heard an apology..." i trailed off as i turned around to walk back to our family as i felt my hand being pulled back

turning around, i saw the guilt in percy's face as i gave him time to give me an apology, "...evangeline...you're right. i can't apologise to fred because he is dead and i can't change that but, what i can change, is the way i treat my baby sister. i never ever should have said or done those things that i did to you. they were never called for and they crossed a line that i shouldn't have justified with excuses. i was on a power trip after graduating hogwarts being head boy and truthfully, it had gone over my head and completely taken over who i was as a person..." 

"...and i shouldn't have betrayed my family in the way i did to work with the ministry of magic, if there is anything i can do to fix all the mistakes i made, let me know so i can fix it. truthfully, i was so blinded by my job that i never took into account the people i was hurting, the people being hurt including my own family...the reason why fred and i were talking again was because we were trying to patch up our own broken relationship, he was starting to trust me again when it happened..." percy slowly stopped talking as i softened until his last sentence was fully comprehended as my face hardened

"...wow...that makes me feel so much better percy. thanks for trying though, i was really rooting for this apology to be great since it's so obvious how much you truly mean it! this isn't something i can forgive with that apology, if you're serious, try again and don't make yourself sound like a victim..." my voice dripped in sarcasam as i turned back around without any pushback from percy

finally being able to walk over to george and pull him in for a hug as he just cried into my shoulders as i had to fight against my own tears. that was when ron, harry and hermione sprinted through the great hall as ron noticed us. mum, dad, ginny, bill and fleur crying over fred when he rushed over and just crumbled to the floor into pieces. sobbing the most gutwrenching cries i had ever heard him cry as he laid on top of fred's body.

"...evangeline, please, can i just try again and can you please listen to me for just a little bit longer?" i huffed softly at the familiar voice, pulling away from george once again as i turned around

nodding my head at percy, knowing he wasn't going to give up or leave me alone until he knew he had my forgiveness. during a moment of pause in a war, mind you, this was happening if you happened to forget.

i truly softened this time though as i sighed, "why should i, percy?" i huffed, no more malace or anger left in my voice as i was now just exhausted, wanting this whole thing to just be over as something sparkled in percy's eyes

i continued my thoughts as percy hadn't started his, "okay, fine. i forgive you about fred's death and not saving him, alright, we've been through this! i forgive you about the entire situation because it wasn't your fault at all. you weren't given enough time by his murderer to save him because if you had been given the chance, i knew you would have..." i trailed off as percy just listens, letting me know i'm free to continue

"...however, as much as i know you want me to and as much as i want to, i don't think i can forgive you straight away for everything else you did to me. those things were awful, percy. those things you did, they scarred me for life with the choices you made. and it hurts. it hurts terribly to think that my own brother would just betray our family like that in a click of a finger without any sort of hesitation in the way you did all in the name of blood purity..." my silence created a veil of uncertainty of where i was going with my rant

"...i nearly died in fourth year because of you, percy! and hearing me say that i know doesn't sit right with you, i know, but it's the truth. if it wasn't for luna and ginny's quick thinking, we wouldn't even be having this conversation because i would have died years ago. in saying that though, i truly do want to fix our relationship because i can't lie anymore, i do miss you. the whole family has missed you, seeing you leave us for the ministry ripped us apart as a family..." i paused again, unsure how much i could say as i watched percy's face change

"...we never thought that we'd be able to repair it but we did and now, yet again, it's been ripped apart because of fred's death. so, when i'm ready, i will forgive you properly but, for now, please, i beg you, be patient with me. don't push me and don't be expecting me to be happy and giddy when i wake up in the morning and see you eating our cereal and yoghurt at our table as it'll take time. but, i love you, percy, i really do." i struggle with the ending but i managed as percy's mouth formed into a soft but still skeptical smile as he inched closer and closer

percy then wordlessly opened his arms, for a hug, and at this point, i had to put away my pride and stubbornness. nodding my head, i opened up my own arms and allowed percy to embrace me. as he embraced me, we pulled back quickly and percy then apologised, properly, a second time.

"evangeline, i understand why you're hesitant in forgiving me about everything else straight away because you have every right to be mad about those things. because they were my fault and it's time i take accountability for the actions i made. i can't continue going around in my life thinking that i'm an angel and that it's everyone else around me that's the problem making these mistakes..." percy trailed off as i stayed quiet as i watched him closely

"...but, i will thank you for forgiving me over fred's death. whilst i also know it isn't my fault and we were in the wrong place at the wrong time, it's also going to take me some time to realise it. but, since i can't change that, i have decided it's time i focus on the things i can change and the most important change is the way i treat my family but, especially, you and ginny. the both of you got way too much abuse from me and it was never deserved, all you two wanted was to just have me like you and have fun with me. and i never made it easier for either of you. it's time i actually be your older brother and take care of you rather than ignoring you and forcing you to deal with it all yourself," percy apologised as he held me at arms length since we pulled out of the hug as i nodded my head and smiled

"thank you percy, i appreciate the apology. c'mon, we have a family we need to be with right now, let's go be with them," i sighed as percy nodded his head as i turned to george, grabbing his hand as we walked back over to our family 

it felt awful as i comforted george over his twin brother's death as he wept whilst i was lucky that it hadn't been ginny. i felt guilty knowing that out of the four twins, only three had survived what was what we only imagined was the first part of the war.

the silence due to voldemort sparing us a moment of silence to 'dispose of our dead with dignity' and 'tend to the injured' whilst voldemort would seek out harry on his own. knowing this, we decided to plan what we'd do to help harry end this wizarding war and voldemort's terror for good.

*

now that it was set in stone that fred was dead and the first half of the second wizarding war was over, not only did ginny and i kill and maim other death eaters, i also ended up killing the one and only bellatrix lestrange after she had narrowly missed killing mum and ginny. quite honestly, never did i think i could have the willpower to execute a death eater, let alone bellatrix lestrange. but, i guess, when you lose a family member and on the verge of losing another two, you kind of get pushed way too far off the edge that those curses that you were never good at since it didn't mean anything to meaning everything. not having anything stopping you from pushing that little bit further.

"...not my daughter you bitch!" was the words that flew out of my mother's mouth as i stood shocked

just before mum could continue duelling against bellatrix, george and i helping ginny down from the bleachers, mum got stunned. helping mum down, i then stood up, it was finally my chance since what else was there left for me to lose now that one brother was dead and the possibility of losing the rest of my family wasn't a far off thing.

"...mum...leave my family alone you slimey slut!" my blood boils as i hear the fear in ginny's choked squeal as she, mum, dad and george watches on in horror as i duel one of the most dangerous and insane death eaters

the insane witch then cackles as she sends a few spells my way, making me widen my eyes and almost fall backwards like my twin and mum before me as i quickly found my feet. standing my ground i send back some spells her way which made her widen her own eyes. she started to trip over her feet backwards as i smirk before i wordlessly conjured the only unforgiveable curse i was still yet to utter, the other ones i had used, crucio and imperio.

i watched as the bright green flash of light expelled from my wand and pierced bellatrix's stomach, the words that hadn't been said but knew what it was from the green flash of light, "avada kedavra". and she explodes into thin air, my hair blows in the wind of the explosion as the force makes me tumble backwards slightly as i smiled with my eyes wide and big

"gigi...you just killed bellatrix lestrange!" george said with exasperation, his face red with tears as i laugh in shock as he pulls me in for a hug, ginny joining it straight away 

"well done, gigi! that was amazing!" ginny whispered as i nodded my head in shock that i did that since i didn't even know i could conjure spells without speaking them since it was such a rare talent

we then walked away, george lifting me off the bleachers because i was still in shock and because he wanted to keep me close for just a little bit longer. i just couldn't believe i had killed her, i mean, she just exploded right there in front of me and i was still trying to figure out if this was real life or a dream. catching up with ginny and george, we then made our way to the courtyard as we saw neville with the sword of gryffindor as we then noticed hagrid carrying someone. someone that looked identical to harry, ginny's boyfriend.

"...who's that? hagrid's carrying? neville, who is it?" i hear ginny's worried voice asking neville, all of us walking or stumbling out of the great hall to the courtyard

the death eaters and voldemort in front of us. hagrid tied up and holding the dead limp body of someone who at first i struggled to make out. of course, i didn't want it to be who i thought it was but, it seemed obvious at this point. tears welling in my eyes as voldemort confirmed who it was.

"harry potter...is dead!" voldemort announces as he and his death eaters laugh as my eyes widen and my lips start to tremble

my hand covers my mouth as ginny screamed, attempting to run to him as dad and voldemort ultimately the ones to stop her, "no! no!" ginny yells, running toward harry as voldemort screams to as his wand flies out to stun her, dad pulling her back

grabbing her, i hold her tightly as i bit my lip, only wishing for this war to be over, "silence...stupid girl! harry potter is dead, from this day forth, you put your faith in me!" the ghastly man snickered, my hand falling from my mouth as george grabs my hand as ron and hermione stand in front of me, looking just as devastated

"harry potter is dead! and now is the time to declare yourself, come forward and join us, or die!" voldemort really loved this power trip, of course he did, he had finally assassinated 'the boy who lived'

meaning, by his rules, the reason for this entire war was finally done. it was finished. over. and now, everything had changed, for good, and this war was truly not really over like ginny promised me it would be. because there was no way we'd just let harry potter die and not fight back. especially when we hadn't given up just yet.

after being called by his dad, in a purely embarrassing plead to join his parents on the other side, draco did as he was told, with hesitation. it was clear at this point he listened to his mum because he loved her more, possibly because he wanted to keep her safe. draco not knowing what was right or wrong or what was up or down anymore. 

neville then stumbled forward, limping slightly as we all watched in worry for the fact we had no clue what neville was going to do or say. and the same for voldy, however, it was clear that neville standing up to him made him furious.

neville's speech was powerful, it was raw and it was genuine. it also showed what a true gryffindor he was, especially since only a true gryffindor could pull the sword of gryffindor out of the sorting hat after his speech. his speech about how harry, fred and others hadn't died in vain but voldemort would as it was true. none of those that died in this war was for nothing as harry suddenly leapt out of hagrid's arms...

...wait...harry wasn't dead! in our pure shock and excitement that harry was alive, it made us leap into action and start fighting again as harry started it with shooting a confringo towards what i could have only assumed was nagini, voldy's snake. running away, harry left the rest of us to look at each other in shock, none of us able to believe that, once again, harry survived the killing curse. that boy was truly the boy who lived.

*

finally, and this time i truly do mean it, finally the battle of hogwarts, the second wizarding war, was over and voldemort was dead. the death eaters that weren't killed and fled the scene were now being sent to azkaban. it was in this moment i could finally take a seat and just breathe as my tired and indescribably sore body collapsed onto the bleacher, not too far from where i killed bellatrix. as george comes to sit on my right side, i prop my head on his shoulder, his head on mine as he grabs my hand, hearing his heart beating steadily.

my own twin, ginny, then comes to join us, sitting on my other side as she caresses my leg in comfort. slightly turning my head so i could see her and harry who was behind her, his chin propped on her head which was cute to see. i then noticed a blonde boy who seemed to be my age or a year older and shared a smile with him. i recognised him quite quickly afterwards, i had spoken to him a few times between classes and in hallways but i could never remember his name. i think it was anton...aaron...something like that and i remember he has some familial relations to newt scamander, the author of the book fantastic beasts and where to find them. 

i then realised he was still staring at me as i turned away, remembering the crush i used to have on him in fourth year as ginny then realised who i was having a staring contest with. 

"...gigi...gigi!" ginny nudges, waiting for my response as i look up at her

"what?" i mutter as i hear george snicker as well as ginny

"i told you that the war would be over soon and voldemort would be dead..." ginny was trying to get my attention but it was obvious i was too focused on the blonde boy as she then noticed

"...gigi, quit staring! you're going to cause lovehearts to pop out of your eye sockets!" ginny chuckles as i look back over at her, my eyes wide 

"what?" i ask as ginny shakes her head and snickers again as she gestures over to anton...aaron...what was his bloody name again?

"you know you can go over and talk to him, right? you don't have to just stare at each other," ginny giggled as i shook my head, harry and george leaving 

"gin...i can't do that!" i stammered as ginny turned to look at me and sighed 

"why not?" she sighed as i rolled my eyes 

"i can't even remember his name! i mean, not since mum first bought it up in fourth year!" i was so attracted to the blonde but i felt so awful that i couldn't remember his name but, thankfully, ginny did 

"anthony goldstein and he's a ravenclaw!" ginny hushed it out as i nodded my head and wordlessly thanked her as she left to follow harry and george

i was panicking, ginny, harry and george had all left me as i noticed the three of them walking to percy to have a proper talk. i then turned back to see anthony walking over to me as i tried to calm myself down so i wouldn't seem crazy.

he then smiled shyly, gesturing to the spot next to me, "hey evangeline...um...i don't suppose anyone's sitting next to you?" he asked nervously as i smiled

"no, not anymore, you can sit next to me if you want to," i smiled softly, breathing in deeply as i tried to ignore his charming looks

"cool...thanks evangeline...umm...i really don't know what to say, sorry..." anthony stammered as i could only smile and titter out a small giggle

"...it's okay...i honestly don't know what to say either, i mean, it's been an insane few days so, i totally understand not having any knowledge of what to say..." i sighed as anthony nodded his head, the both of us noticing the blood and dust the other was covered in

"...well...i guess...something i do know what to say is that i'm so sorry about the loss of your brother, fred. i...i can't even imagine nor do i want to imagine what that loss must feel like after being so close to the war's end and suddenly losing him..." anthony trailed off as he looked at me with a look i had never seen from him before as i smiled

"...oh...thank you anthony...really, that's very lovely of you to say. what...what about you? did you...did you lose anyone?" i wasn't sure how to word it but anthony didn't seem offended, only guilty as he shook his head

"no...all of my family are alive..." he trailed off, his voice filled with guilt as my hand, which rested on the bleacher, moved closer to his which also rested on the bleacher

"...please don't be sorry about my family's loss anthony. just because you didn't lose someone directly close to you, like a brother, sister or parent, you still lost someone who you were friends with and who were like family to you..." i hold his hand and squeeze it as he nods his head, small tears welling in the corner of his eye

for a good while after our heart to heart, anthony and i just kept on talking, never really getting bored of one another or never running out of things to talk to one another about. the best thing though about getting to know anthony was definitely his empathy and how sorry he was for the family's loss of fred which was very sweet of him to say since i remembered where else i had seen anthony. he was a friend of fred and george since they were in the same year level until they weren't when fred and george left hogwarts. i also did find out how anthony was related to newt scamander which was quite cool as i had always thought that was a myth but, apparently not.

whilst talking, i mentioned that ginny and i were only sixth years which shocked anthony so, when i told him ginny and i were returning for our seventh year, he said he was as well to redo seventh year because of the war. so, we made promises to each other that in the summer, we would write to one another and see each other as often as possible. he then said he'd love it if he had permission to take me out on a date to hogsmeade which i said yes to straight away. despite this battle being horrible, devastating and full of agony because of how much everyone had lost, more than just my family losing fred, i'm glad anthony and i started to talk. because i think i have just properly met the love of my life.

fin

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2026

[amberjazmyn]

amber's harry potter & cast masterlist

backspace to: navigation guidelines westlife masterlist & f1 masterlist

RATING SYSTEM:

💔 - angst

🥹 - comfort

🫶 - fluff

🌶️- smut/suggestive

HARRY POTTER

THE GOLDEN TRIO

the battle of hogwarts 💔

SILVER TRIO

the battle of hogwarts 💔

BIG SEVEN

the battle of hogwarts 💔

ENSEMBLE

THE WEASLEYS (excl. ron and ginny)

life after hogwarts would include 💔 g.w

mischief managed 🫶 g.w

take me back (to the night we met) 💔 part ii 🥹 f.w

a little too late 💔 part ii f.w

HARRY POTTER CAST

THE ENSEMBLE

hogwarts will always be home 💔🫶

golden girl 🫶

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

EMMA WATSON

RUPERT GRINT

BONNIE WRIGHT

JAMES PHELPS

OLIVER PHELPS

TOM FELTON

© amberjazmyn, 2026

[amberjazmyn]

butterfly kisses

pairing : m.feehily x male!reader, n.byrne x fem!reader, k.egan x fem!reader & s.filan x fem!reader

summary : with the lyrics of westlife's butterfly kisses, we see all four members get emotional about their daughter growing up before their eyes

warnings : other than some tears, westlife dads being westlife dads and some dad's being emotional about their daughter's grow up and reach different milestones

a/n : this is technicially a part two/prolouge to the slipping through my fingers fic i just posted but this can also be seen and read as a stand alone even though this fic will have the same ofc's for nicky, kian and shane that include a ficticious daughter.

mark

there's two things i know for sure, she was sent here from heaven and she's daddy's little girl

mark couldn't believe his eyes, never in a million years did he think that after coming out as gay publically to the entire world as a member of westlife that he'd become a father to a beautiful little girl. but, here he was, the date a beautiful october day in 2019, sitting down in a chair, waiting patiently to hold his newborn baby girl, his fiancé currently holding her as the surrogate smiled as she watched.

mark just couldn't help as he stared at the beautiful baby that was in his fiancé's arms, his shoulders relaxing as a small content smile spread across his face, "...you want to hold her babe?" was the question that suddenly filled the silence, coming from mark's fiancé cailean

"can i hold her?" were the words that came out of mark's mouth, almost scaring himself as both cailean and their surrogate chuckled, nodding their heads

"of course you can, mark. this beautiful baby girl is yours, you don't need to ask permission," it was their surrogate who responded as mark nodded his head as cailean swiftly adjusted himself so he could pass their baby over to mark

and straight away, it felt like mark had been a dad for years. the way he held his baby girl was so effortless, he was a natural as he smiled down at this little girl that was now his and cailean's. it was now clear to mark just how heavenly their baby girl was and that she was definitely going to be a daddy's girl along with having the blessing of having two dad's, not just one.

"she's beautiful. i still can't believe she's ours, cailean!" mark scoffed as softly as possible, so he wouldn't frighten the baby as cailean smiled back

"i know, it's mental but, she is ours," cailean smiles, biting his lip as he sits next to his fiancé as a knock on the hospital room door gets everyone's attention

"sorry to interrupt this beautiful bonding moment but, we still don't have a name for baby girl so, do we have any ideas so we can get her registered and have her birth certificate printed?" the nurse winced softly, hating to disturb the peace as the dad's lifted the heads up as the surrogate took that as her moment to leave the new fathers' to it

"the more i look at her, the more heavenily she looks but, i also think she looks like a layla..." mark trailed off as cailean smiled as did the nurse as the two seemed to agree with mark's name suggestion

"...i think i agree with you mark, she really does look like a layla! so, layla feehily it is!" the nurse smiled as she then left again to do the documentation she could now complete for baby layla feehily-o'neil

as the nurse let the new father's bond with their baby layla, the two men still couldn't fathom that she was finally here and that they were finally parents. to them, this was what heaven felt like and it was in having their little layla in their arms as a family of three.

nicky

sweet sixteen today, she's looking like her mama a little more everyday. one part woman; the other part girl. to perfume and make up, from ribbons and curls. trying her wings out in a great big world, but i remember...

it was already an emotional morning in the byrne household and it wasn't even 9am yet. nicky's eldest daughter collette byrne was turning 16 and it absolutely broke nicky's heart that his little girl was so grown up.

he watched with a slight melancholy as he watched his daughter get ready for the day her sweet 16th was going to bring. after getting the birthday surprise of her life from her parents and three younger siblings, she ran up to her room to get ready but still leaving her door slightly open so her parents knew what she was doing. not because they didn't trust her or didn't give their daughter privacy, but because they knew that she knew they'd want to join her as she got ready to keep her company. her door opened that small slither giving the invitation to her parents or her siblings that it was okay for them to join her if they so wished too.

so, slowly, nicky had made his way up the stairs and down the corridor to his eldest daughter's room, his youngest daughter gia's room right next to collette's. he softly knocked, even with the open door invitation, nicky still gave his children manners when coming into their personal spaces.

"...you can come in, dad!" collette's soft voice calls out as nicky makes his way inside as his eldest daughter beams up at him from her vanity where she was in the middle of doing her makeup

he couldn't help the smile that graced his face that looked a little sad. he watched in silence as his now 16 year old daughter finished her makeup as well as getting her outfit all smoothed out on her bed. she then did a couple of sprays of her favourite perfume that had actually been one of her birthday presents. the little girl nicky remembered that wore her face bare in her bright pink fairy dress and ribbons was now wearing makeup with her hair in beautiful curls and a lovely tight fitting top and denim skirt.

as he watched his teenage girl do the finishing touches of her hair and makeup before she'd get dressed, nicky couldn't help but remember how his all of a sudden grown up daughter used to be dressed. no longer sporting those bright pink fairy dresses or giant ribbons that almost covered her entire head due to how big they were. he couldn't understand why he felt like his heart was breaking a little bit. it wasn't like collette was graduating high school or moving out of home, those moments were going to break nicky's heart so much more than her 16th birthday. however, it still stung a little bit at how she was looking more grown up everyday.

throughout collette's whole life until these later teenage years, she was the spitting image of her father and everyone knew how much nicky adored it. however, since she was maybe 14 to now at 16, she was now looking more like her mam, georgina which was slowly starting to break nicky's heart that his twin was no longer starting to look like him anymore. however, there were still parts of his little girl that looked like him which made nicky happiest that he could still see himself when he looked at his girl.

"you okay dad? you're very quiet and i don't like it, does my hair and makeup look bad?" collette spoke up, her eyes slightly wide with worry as nicky immediately shook his head

"oh my gosh, no, baby! your hair and makeup is beautiful darling, you've done a beautiful job, your mammy is definitely the best teacher! but, no, i'm only quiet because i still can't believe you're 16! your birthday has definitely crept up on us this year, it's flown by!" nicky never wants to make his daughter or any of his children think his silence, whilst rare, is ever because of them doing something bad

"i know, it's mental at how quickly the year has already gone! soon it'll be gia's birthday!" collette's giggle can be heard from her bathroom as she tries to put a new pair of gold earrings in as nicky almost felt his heart stop

whilst gia was nowhere near the point of retiring her own ribbons and fairy dresses, it was still in the back of his mind that the same thing would start to happen to his little gia. and he could barely deal with it happening to his 16-year-old daughter, how would he be able to deal with it happening to his youngest daughter?

he then noticed that collette still needed to get changed so, he then gave his daughter a kiss on the head, letting her know the rest of the family will be waiting outside for her, "okay, i'll let you get dressed poppet, we'll be waiting outside for you but don't feel like you have to rush. happy 16th baby girl, i hope 16 is a wonderful year for you, i love you so much and i still can't believe my eldest is already 16!" nicky smiled, giving his eldest a giant kiss and hug as collette giggles as she watches as her dad walks out of her room and closes the door behind him

it took all the strength in nicky to not slide down his daughter's bedroom door and just cry but he managed to compose himself. that was until he heard his wife walk up the stairs trying to find her husband.

"...nicky...there you are darling, everything okay? is collette almost ready?" georgina asks as she tries to make eye contact with nicky as he then tilts his head up, his eyes suddenly filled with tears

georgina felt her shoulders relax and her face soften, "are you okay, babe?" she asks straight away as nicky found himself laughing as he wiped his teary eyes

"our eldest child is 16, g! she's already so grown up, with her hair and makeup done and her new wardrobe of clothes...how did this happen so quickly? i swear she was just gia's age yesterday..." nicky whimpered as he found himself being pulled in for a hug from georgina as she just chuckled and shook her head

"...i know babe, it's mental but, she's no longer a baby, she's now a teenager! and, we have to let her be a teenager..." georgina sighs as she pulls away from her husband as he nods his head

"...she looks so much like you every passing day, g. it breaks my heart at how grown up she's becoming..." nicky sniffles as he composes himself before he hears the sneakers of his eldest daughter rush down the stairs for the day of celebration for the 16 year old

kian

i must have done something right to deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses at night. all the precious time, oh like the wind the years go by. precious butterfly, spread your wings and fly

even though he was always made fun of for being the more emotional member of westlife, kian had a valid reason to be crying this time. his eldest daughter, willow, was about to jet set off to australia to study the rest of her university degree internationally. thankfully, his daughter's flight to her stopover in dubai from dublin international hadn't been called for yet, he still couldn't help the tears as they welled up in his eyes in anticipation. willow sat next to her dad, basically so close it was like she was basically sitting on him. a lot of people would usually be bothered by their personal space being evaded but kian embraced it.

his eldest daughter was going to be in australia for the next three years so he was more than happy to have his daughter all up in his personal space if it meant it would give him the comfort he so desired. he had never let his daughter be this far away from him for this long. the only time he'd be so far away from his family was when he was touring internationally with westlife. but even then, if he could have had it his way, along with the rest of his bandmates, his wife jodi, willow and the three boys would be going all over the world with the band during the tour.

however, time had finally come for kian to let his daughter spread her wings out into this great big world and fly as far as she possibly could. of course, there were things that scared the girl about studying internationally but, it was mostly due to the fact that she would be so far away from her family. but once that fear sort of disappeared, the excitement bloomed.

"...dad, am i making the right decision by doing the rest of my degree in australia?" willow suddenly speaks up as she turns to look at her dad as he looks at her in confusion and like she had grown another head or three

"why are you even asking that question, willow? of course you've made the right decision! you said it yourself that you wanted to explore the world and you knew the minute you decided to study journalism that you wanted to travel with it if it ended with you going all around the world with me and westlife in the future! whilst it does, selfishly, break my heart that you'll be so far away from your mum, me and your brothers for the next 4 years, the pride i feel squashes all of that grief because i know that you're so far away because you are doing something that you love..." kian trails off as he caresses his daughter's cheek lovingly as his wife and three boys watch on

"...all i've ever wanted for my children is for them to spread their wings and for them to do something that makes them soar and flourish and if that means sending them off on a plane to the other side of the world then that is what i'll do for my kids because i love you so much and i support you in everything that you want to do. i don't want my kids to ever feel like they have to follow in the same footsteps as me or your mam in the way of becoming a singer and then slowly down the line resenting me and your mam for forcing you all into boxes you never wanted to be in in the first place..." kian trails off as it turned out to be excellent timing as the second kian stopped talking, the overhead intercom had called out willow's stopover flight to dubai

"...flight 1740 from dublin international to dubai, can all first class passengers please make their way to the gate to start boarding...flight 1740 dublin to dubai, first class passengers!" the intercom calls out as willow shakily huffs out as she stands up from her seat

starting her rounds of goodbyes, she decides to start with her three brothers, koa, zekey and cobi. then, it was her partner that would be flying over to australia the next week to spend those four years in australia with willow that she embraced tightly. and then, leaving her parents to last, she hugged her mam first deciding to leave the best hug for last which was her dad.

"see you in four, dad, yeah?" trying her hardest to not get upset, her voice wobbled as she tried to stay cool as her dad nodded his head but also started to get emotional again

"yes you will, baby! i love you so much, stay safe! let us know when you land in dubai and then when you leave and then land in australia!" kian's voice shakes at the end as he pulls out of the hug

"love you more guys! see you in four!" are the last words the egan family hears of their daughter, older sister and girlfriend as she then walks down the jet bridge onto the giant plane bound for her new life in australia

shane

butterfly kisses with her mama there, sticking little white flowers all up in her hair. walk me down the aisle daddy; it's just about time, does my wedding gown look pretty daddy? daddy don't cry

shane couldn't help the tears that welled in his eyes as he secretly watched his wife gillian helping their eldest daughter melodie get ready for her wedding to her husband. getting flashbacks to when his daughter was a little girl, he watched as his wife started sticking little white flowers in her daughter's bridal hairstyle. similar to the other times she did it like on her baptism, first holy communion, her 16th birthday, her high school graduation and now on her wedding day.

biting his lips so he wouldn't make a noise or blow his cover, he just watched silently as the mood in the bridal suite shifted from what could have been stress or being overwhelmed, to suddenly shifting to a feeling of calm and peace. as though there was no more fear about the fact that today, melodie would be changing her last name from filan to her husband's last name for the rest of her life. this was the day melodie filan had been dreaming about since she was a little girl and now the day was finally here and it still felt like a dream that she was about to wake up from.

shane was in such a daze that he didn't even realise that gillian had finished helping melodie get her finishing touches done until she spoke up, "...will you walk me down the aisle, dad?" melodie's voice comes out softly so as to not frighten her father as he turns around and almost melts to the ground as he looks at his baby girl all dressed up on her wedding day

"oh, baby...of course i will. you...you look beautiful my darling girl!" shane's voice shakes as one hand is holding his daughter's hand and the other covering his mouth as his tears resurface

during this moment, gillian takes this has her moment to leave her husband and daughter alone and take her own seat in the venue of where the ceremony was taking place. reminding gillian of her own wedding to shane all those years ago back in 2003, giving her deja vu seeing her daughter get married in the same exact venue almost a decade later.

"does my wedding dress look pretty dad, do you like it?" melodie then asks, looking at her dad with the sweet look like she used to when she was much younger as that almost breaks shane as he nods his head

"it's absolutely gorgeous, baby! you look gorgeous, i cannot believe you're getting married today, all grown up and stuff..." shane trails off as he finally starts to cry as melodie smiles and pulls her dad in for a hug

"don't cry dad! it's okay, i know this is scary for you because the last time you checked, i was still 5 years old and trying on mam's wedding dress just because i wanted to play dress up but, i really love him and he really loves me and we're ready to take this leap together and..." just as melodie was starting to unravel, as always, her dad was there to reel her back in and relax her nerves

"...i know baby, i know. i'm not crying because of that, i'm crying because i love you so much and it brings me so much joy that my eldest daughter is finally marrying the man who loves her the way she deserves to be loved. and because it reminds me of when i married your mam, here, back in 2003 just after you were born when you were just a wee little thing wearing that sweet little white dress that absolutely looked giant on you. to now see you in the real thing a decade later, it's incredible," shane smiles as melodie feels herself relax as she pulls her dad in for one more hug as he giggles softly

the moment is then interrupted by melodie's maid of honour, younger sister nicole, letting her sister and dad know that it was time for melodie and shane to get ready as the bridesmaids had started to walk down the aisle. reminding the father and daughter that a new journey was about to start for the both of them for different reasons.

fin

oh my gosh this was so much fun to write but it was really challenging at the same time. and something i've noticed when i do this specific format of fics is, mark's one-shot is always the shortest and then the more i write, the longer the other three prompts just get longer and i have no idea why. maybe because mark is the first one and that's when i immediately struggle with how i'm going to start the prompt. and it's not because i don't love mark, i absolutely love mark but his prompts always seem to be the shortest because i always start with mark! okie, bye my loves xx

[amberjazmyn]

slipping through my fingers

pairing : m.feehily x male!reader, n.byrne x fem!reader, k.egan x fem!reader & s.filan x fem!reader

summary : with the lyrics of mamma mia's slipping through my fingers we see all four members watch as their children slip through their fingers in different milestones

warnings : tears, a lil angst, mostly comfort though, mentions of weddings, starting of school/finishing of school

a/n : this was originally written as a shane filan solo fic but i decided i could write a fic better for shane so i decided to make this one a group fic as i want to do a similar thing for the part two to this shane solo fic called butterfly kisses so, yeah.

sec. a/n : in the majority of these one-shots, i will include the real children and partners of the boys. however, in nicky's, kian's and shane's (sorry mark), i will be creating an eldest daughter (especially cause kian only has three boys) even though shane's daughter is technicially old enough, just for their prompts specifically as the lyrics i have chosen for their prompts require that.

mark

schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning. waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile.

tears filled mark's eyes as he watched from the kitchen the way his little girl, layla, who he swore was just a baby two weeks ago was now getting her school bag ready. even though she was being assisted by her daddy cailean, it broke mark's heart a little bit to see just how grown up his once covid-19 baby was already even though she was still just a kid at almost 8 years old. even though he knew that this wasn't her first year at school, it still seemed to feel like that each passing school year.

and it also looked as though mark's partner noticed this as well as he softly told layla to wait by the front door so he could talk to daddy mark which she excitedly obliged to, "...you okay, love" he asks as mark is shocked out of his daydream and wearily nods his head, subtly wiping his tears away

"...yeah, i'm okay bub..." mark knew he wasn't a good liar and cailean also knew that as he tilted his head with a knowing look as mark chuckled softly

"...okay fine...i still can't believe our baby girl is still old enough to be going to school! i swore it was just last week that she was just a little baby!" mark sighed softly as cailean smiled softly and nodded his head in total understanding

"i know, it still blows my mind but, she is a big girl now, bubs. and it seems like she absolutely loves her school and the little group of friends she has but i also sometimes wish she was still our little baby who never left our sight for a second but, she just isn't anymore. and somehow, we have to understand that and stop treating her like that little baby girl she once was..." cailean trailed off as mark nodded his head as he couldn't help the smile on his face as he heard their little girl call out for her daddy cailean

the girl totally ready and waiting for her daddy cailean to hurry up and get to the car so they wouldn't be late. this obviously made mark and cailean widen their eyes but giggles shortly left their mouth. remembering which dad it was that had given her her lack of patience.

"...coming baby, just hold on a second, me and daddy will be done soon!" cailean calls out as layla doesn't respond back, clearly having some sort of understanding as mark smiles and shakes his head

"if you guys need to go, you two can go! i don't want to make layla late for school just because i'm getting a little emotional about her going back to school!" mark smiled and wiped away the leftover tears from his face as cailean didn't look too convinced

"i don't want to leave you when you're upset! i know how much harder this gets each school year because i feel it too. are you sure you're okay, babe?" cailean stressed, not wanting to leave his partner if he was still upset as mark smiled and waved his hand

"i'm okay, babe! i promise, please, layla's starting to get impatient! i'll be fine, it's not going to have me crying my eyes out the rest of the day! i'm just emotional this morning for some reason but i'm sure i'll be fine so, go!" mark insisted as cailean nodded his head as he then called for layla to say goodbye to her daddy mark before leaving

and with all the excitement in her movements but with a smile that clearly showed the girl still being half-asleep, layla ran up to her daddy. her arms up in the air letting mark know she still had time to be picked up and hugged by her daddy even though she loved to be out the door super early to have enough time to spend it with her friends before the school bell rang. she still sacrificed that little bit of extra time cuddling her daddy before her other daddy dropped her off in the mornings.

as cailean let layla lead him out the front door to their car, he also gave mark a sweet kiss to the forehead, letting him know he'd be home shortly. as he drunk his morning coffee, mark watched once again as his little girl and the love of his life walked outside and into their car, his little girl all dressed up proudly and neatly in her school uniform. the smile on his face shaky as the tears in his eyes that had been determined to not fall started to trickle down his cheeks.

nicky

sometimes i wish that i could freeze the picture and save it from the funny tricks of time. slipping through my fingers

it felt like chaos in the byrne household, so much noise, so much mess and so much movement that it made nicky feel dizzy. his eldest daughter collette was twenty-one and was moving out of the family home to move into her new home with her fiancé, adrian an hour out of baldoyle where she had lived with her family her whole life.

he hadn't gotten in the mess of assisting his daughter unless she requested it as she was getting help by her mother, georgina and her twin brothers rocco & jay alongside her fiancé and his parents. he didn't want to overhwelm his daughter anymore than she already was by getting involved unless she needed him so he gave her space. so, whilst he waited for his daughter to need him, nicky allowed himself to stroll around the house, walking down one of the hallways where he and georgina lovingly installed a photo wall as one specific photo stopped him in his tracks. it was a photo of collette just after she had been born and he was cradling her tiny body in his arms, a smile of exhaustion punctuating his face.

it almost made the wind get knocked out of him as tears filled his eyes as he just looked at the photo. wishing he could have just freezed that picture, keeping his beautiful daughter at that age for the rest of time. after staring at that photo for god knows how long, he then jumps suddenly at the small voice beside him.

"...you okay, dad?" it was his daughter, collette that had joined nicky as she stood next to him and also looked at the photo he was staring at

"yeah...just...thinking..." nicky sighs as he tries to hide his teary face from his daughter who smiles softly and slides closer to her dad, almost like she was trying to nestle into him

"...you sure? you seem sad and quiet and i can't remember the last time i associated those two words with you, what's going on?" collette asked softly as nicky smiled, knowing he could no longer hide his emotions from his growing children

"i guess it just makes me sad that you're now all grown up, not just you but also the boys and gia and that you're already moving out with adrian. i know you'll only be an hour away from us but, i don't know. it just makes me feel like you no longer need me or your mam anymore..." nicky stops before he really started to get weepy as collette smiled softly and forced her hand into her dad's

"...no matter how much you wish you could freeze the picture of time, you just can't dad. we all have to grow up, no matter how much we wish we didn't have to. and i sincerely hope you don't seriously think that me and adrian moving an hour away is because we no longer need you or that we want to be as far away from you as possible. it's only because of adrian's job at the hospital that we're moving that far away. if he had gotten the baldoyle hospital listing he wanted, we wouldn't be moving an hour away but, he couldn't so, we're having to be an hour away..." collette spoke softly as she tried to comfort her emotional dad as nicky smiled, grateful that his daughter had joined him before he really started to get upset

"...i know that baby, i really do. i just still can't fathom that you're not that little week old baby anymore who i could almost fit in my pocket if i had a big enough one..." nicky's voice became teary as collette's face softened as she pulled her dad in for a hug

"...i'm still that little girl, dad. i mean, if you really tried, you probably could fold me up and put me in your pocket if you had a life size one considering how flexible i am *tearful giggles*. but in all seriousness dad, just because i'm moving away, it doesn't change the fact that i'm still going to need you or want your advice about something even though your answer has never changed...i love you forever dad and me moving out of home is never going to change that even if it feels like i'm slipping through your fingers!" collette whispered as she and nicky swayed side to side, collette making sure to hug her dad with his back to the photo so it wouldn't make him more sad than he already was as tears streamed down his cheeks silently

kian

what happened to the wonderful adventures, the places i had planned for us to go (slipping through my fingers all the time). well, some of that we did but most we didn't. and why, i just don't know

even though he had promised his daughter he wouldn't cry, he couldn't help the tears as they streamed down his cheeks. kian's eldest and only daughter willow had just gotten married to her husband after being together since they were twelve and thirteen years old. and now it was almost time for kian's speech as the father of the bride and the entire time, he had been trying to dodge his speech, shaking his head and giving the microphone to someone else everytime it circled back to him. he didn't feel ready to be giving his all-important speech at his daughter's wedding just yet. he still saw his twenty-three year old daughter as his little spunky surfer girl who was ready for any and every adventure he'd throw at her. not as his adult daughter who was now no longer an egan but a gonzalez alongside her husband.

however, after about the third or fourth time the microphone had circled back to the table of the parents of the bride and groom, kian knew he couldn't avoid it a fifth time or forever. his wife and willow's mum jodi already saying her speech alongside both of her husband's parents saying theres. standing up, he smoothed out the piece of paper he had written his speech on as he lifted his eyes up to see the sea of a multitude of people that were there in front of him to celebrate the love of his daughter and new son-in-law. however, the group of people he really smiled at as he made eye contact with them were his westlife bandmates, nicky byrne, mark feehily and shane filan. they had all watched and helped kian and jodi as they parented their daughter, willow and then their three boys, koa, zekey and cobi. and now, all these years later, they were guests at the eldest egan's wedding.

taking in a deep breath, kian started his speech to his daughter, "...hi everyone, thanks for taking the time to be here for the wedding of willow and wren. for those who may not know me, i am kian and i am the father of the bride, willow. she was me and jodi's first child and only daughter and for so many years as she grew up as an only child before her beautiful brothers were born, she was my little thrill-seeking adventure partner..." kian trailed off, already feeling the tears well in his eyes as everyone watches with smiles, most especially his daughter willow

"...anywhere i went, didn't matter if it was a surfing trip or following me all the way into the australian jungle, my little willow was with me ready and excited for the next adventure. and in the midst of all that, it was during the school term that she informed her mother and i that there was a new boy that had moved to sligo all the way from spain and that his name was wren. almost immediately, i think i knew what was going on and that my little girl was starting to realise that maybe, she was forming a little crush on thirteen-year-old wren.during this time before meeting wren, she had just seen her daddy and her westlife uncles break up after having the most amazing farewell shows at croke park and being devastated that it was all ending. and as the school year went on and the two best friends became closer, it was clear that by the time they turned sixteen, this was no longer just a silly little crush or puppy love. this was the real deal..." kian trailed off again as titters of laughter filled the room at the moments that were appropriate

"...by the time willow and wren were sixteen, it had been almost three years since westlife had broke up and there would be another four or so years before westlife would reunite again when the couple were twenty years old. during those seven years away from westlife, i stupidly thought that my eldest daughter would continue going on those wild adventures with me since they had all been planned to be for the both of us, no one else. however, because willow and wren's relationship had started to get more serious, she started to go on more adventures with him instead of her poor old dad..." kian tearfully chuckled as the room filled with coos as willow felt her heart sink and felt bad

but, kian didn't let the mood drop for too long, "..., it was in those moments that i realised it was never about her forgetting me, her mum or her brothers. it was simply that she was beginning to build a life of her own, with wren, and with the family she has found in his. i watched her social media fill with memories from spain, latin america, new zealand, south africa, and so many other places i once dreamed of taking her. and yet, in every place she travelled with wren, they still found a way to carry a piece of me with them. no matter the city, the state or the country, they always found a beach. and there, they'd go surfing, willow teaching wren and his siblings the way of the water in the same way i taught her when she was just a little girl..." kian felt himself smiling as the memories flooded back as the reception listened intently to his speech

"seeing that reminded me of something important, she wasn't letting go of me to make room for wren. she was taking the things her mother and i taught her, the things that shaped her, and using them to build new connections, new memories and a new family. and there is no greater gift for a parent than to see their child carry the love they were raised with into the life they are creating now..." it was now getting to the point that kian's hand started to shake and tears blurred his vision, no longer able to read the letter as he giggled, blinking the tears down his cheeks and onto the letter

this made willow pout softly and stand up from her chair. detatching her body from her husband's, she walked over to the table that her father was stood in front of and joined him. hugging him tightly before wiping away his tears, causing another sweet reaction of coos, willow stood next to him as he continued his speech.

"...even though we went on so many adventures and her and wren have been on so many more, there are still some adventures that we just never did and i just don't know why we never took the leap of faith. but, maybe, that means that those adventures can be better ones with the love of your life, willow. i absolutely love the both of you, my beautiful daughter willow and my beautiful son-in-law wren. there is no one else in this world i'd want to see marry my daughter. can we all raise a glass to the new mr and mrs gonzalez..." kian finishes his speech, raising his glass that was filled with wine as he quickly placed the microphone down, his other arm tightly wrapped around willow

the second the applause and cheers for his speech died down, kian found himself crying a river in the bathroom of the reception venue. he couldn't explain why he was so emotional about his daughter getting married but at the same time, it still felt like he had just had his heart ripped out of his chest. his daughter was no longer his little baby girl and he now had to live with that fact now that she was no longer an egan but a gonzalez.

shane

i watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness and i have to sit down for a while. the feeling that i'm losing her forever and without really entering her world. i'm glad whenever i can share her laughter, that funny little girl.

it was moments like this that shane wished he wasn't an emotional person. his eldest daughter melodie was all packed up, almost her whole entire life, into suitcases and hiking bags about to move all the way across the world to australia. not because she was going to university there or anything but because that's where her long distance fiancé lived. whilst her fiancé, killian, was also irish, he was actually born in australia as his parents had imigrated from sligo all the way to brisbane, australia when they were in their teenage years.

and there was always that fear in the back of shane's head that because he knew killian's parents that the same thing would happen to killian and melodie where she would leave sligo and move to brisbane to be with her fiancé, just like her partner's parents had done. however, for some reason, he never actually allowed himself to believe that it was going to happen when he felt relieved at the fact that she wasn't moving and uprooting her life to brisbane as a teenager. in hindsight though, it was something he should have prepared himself for. he had a feeling that if either of the couple would uproot their life, it was always going to be melodie and not killian.

reason being, killian had his whole life in australia and little to no connection to actually living in ireland except for the block of a few months that he'd visit for the sake of melodie. so, right at this very moment, whilst they were still young and in their early twenties, it was only the right move for melodie to be the one to move to brisbane. agreeing that this move to australia for melodie wasn't a permanent thing until killian was able to get his irish documents sorted for him to move to ireland.

as the filan family, which included shane, his wife gillian, melodie and the other three kids, nicole, patrick and shane jr, waited patiently for the eldest filan's flight for her the start of her journey to australia to be called, it was pure silence. the entire family was quiet, no one really uttering a word as the hustle and bustle of dublin's international airport continued around them whilst the filan's were stuck in a time pause.

as the silence continued, it almost became unbearable for shane to even look at his eldest daughter so he kept his head down, facing the floor below his feet. and he stayed like that until the intercom finally announced melodie's first leg of her journey from dublin to australia with a stopover to dubai. and that was the flight from dublin to dubai that had just been announced over the intercom.

and even though he didn't want to, shane knew he had to look at his daughter at this point "...i guess this is goodbye for the foreseeable, dad..." melodie trailed off as shane felt a choked up chuckle fall from his throat as he pulled his daughter in for a hug

"...yeah...i guess it is baby..." shane's voice was so small and quiet that melodie had to strain her ears to even hear what her dad had said

"...are you sure this is the right decision, dad?" are the next words that are heard as shane's eyes almost buldge out of his eye sockets as he pulls away from his daughter who now looks worried

"baby...of course this is the right decision! why the sudden change of mind?" he questioned, hoping to god his sulking the entire time and avoidance wasn't the cause of his daughter's sudden change

"i just think that..."

"...flight 1330 from dublin to dubai, this is your last call for first class passengers...flight 1330 from dublin to dubai..." is what interrupts melodie from saying what she really wanted to say as shane shook his head, letting melodie know that she didn't need to say it

"...you heard the flight attendant baby, it's time for you to catch that plane to dubai," shane smiles, his eyes sparkling with tears as melodie nods her head and grabs her carry-on luggage, the rest of the hefty luggage either already in brisbane or tucked securely inside the plane

melodie doesn't say anymore words and neither do the rest of the filans as they all give their final hugs, kisses, tears and farewells to their older sister and daughter. it's in this moment that really devastates shane as he watches her walk down the jet bridge onto the plane to her new home in brisbane, australia for the foreseeable future. that well-known sadness and grief surging through his body as he felt his body sink back down into the airport chair behind him. almost as though the wind had knocked the socks out of him, making him sit down. it felt like shane was losing his eldest daughter forever, sure, it sounded dramatic since he had three other children but, melodie was his eldest baby girl and sometimes, he still forgot that melodie wasn't a baby anymore. the same with his other three kids, nicole, patrick and shane jr. as he watched his eldest baby move onto an entirely new life that didn't include being directly next to her family, it still brought joy to shane that he could remember and still hear his daughter's laughter. and it wasn't because he had suddenly heard the loud, obnoxious noise from his daughter that had come from the jet bridge. reminding him that melodie was still his funny little girl, no matter how far away from her dad she would be.

fin

i really went slightly overboard with this one, and yes, i have decided to bring back end of chapter a/n's lol. maybe, it may just be for this one but idk. but yes, i really got carried away with this one since it seems as though mark's is the only one that is truly a short fic, nicky's maybe the only other short one. but, okay, i'm gonna go now as i really gotta go to bed but, i think i like this better than the original solo shane fic with the song idea so i very well just do this to butterfly kisses as well. okie bye xx

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2026

[amberjazmyn]

ghost of you

pairing : m.feehily x male!reader, n.byrne x fem!reader, k.egan x fem!reader & s.filan x fem!reader

summary : based on lyrics of 'ghost of you' by 5sos we watch the four members of westlife go through the loss of partner, either by a break-up or worse.

warnings : really sad, loads of crying, like super depresso espresso, flashbacks, mention of suicide, break-ups, flashbacks, and some more crying

a/n : this is one i have written and rewritten so many times as a solo fic but the second time i have written it in this format so i decided why not bring this one into my westlife universe. and yes, all the girlfriends will have names, i'm not writing y.n every single time. which does mean all of westlife's partners and kids irl do not exist in this one-shot with the exception of kian because the ex-gf in this situation is going to be a made up person.

mark

here i am waking up, still can't sleep on your side. there's your coffee cup, the lipstick stain fades with time. if i can dream long enough, you'd tell me i'd be just fine. i'll be just fine.

mark feehily finally peeled himself out of bed, opening his eyes from the restless three-hour sleep, still unable to sleep on the side of the bed he used to share with his boyfriend, keegan. the bed they share in their house in sligo, where they stayed the most when they weren't around the world for westlife now a lot more lonely and spacious. he couldn't even look at that side of the bed without getting flashbacks of that night that was nearly four months ago.

a frown appearing instantly, just like every morning these days when his eyes drifted over to his coffee cup. the indent of where his lips would be still there, unmoved, just slightly more cracked and old than it was the day before. trying to close his eyes again, just so mark could go back to his dream, the recurring dream where he was being told he'd be just fine and that he would to.

mark was about to close his eyes again when he heard a voice, "...marky, you need to wake up, everyone's downstairs waiting for you!" it was his bandmate, kian as he whispered, holding his little boy koa as the other three members would take turns in visiting mark with their families

a groan left the singer's mouth as he reluctantly got up, "...fine...if i have too..." he mumbled, the top half of his body rising as his legs straighten out on his bed from the hiked up position they were in

he then stared at the shirt laid on his bed in front of him, his eyebrows furrowing knowing he'd have to move further to grab it to put it on. he just didn't have the energy to grab his shirt, he barely had enough energy to keep himself alive properly. just the simple thought of living and taking care of himself was now a chore for mark, a chore that was becoming physically painful.

kian noticing that the simple things that his and the family was now back to being normal was still challenging for mark. so, to help out his bandmate, he didn't waste a second in grabbing the shirt from the end of the bed and handing it to him.

"...you sure this is the shirt you wanna wear, mark?" kian's voice was soft and caring, smiling sympathetically at his younger bandmate, knowing that he wasn't on the same wavelength of 'normality' as everyone else

"thanks kian and yeah, this shirt is fine. i'll just stay in the pants i'm already wearing cause i think i fell asleep wearing jeans last night... just give me a second and i'll be downstairs, please don't wait up for me this time." he spoke low and slow after taking a large gulp of water, kian nodding his head

kian then took that moment as his cue to leave with koa so mark could have his little second to collect himself and his bearings before joining the rest of the egan family downstairs. of course he hesitated to leave his bandmate on his own but he knew he had to respect his wishes so he did with koa trying to protest, wanting to stay with uncle marky.

just as mark was about to walk down the stairs to see the rest of kian's family for this long and agonising day, he walked past a photo. a photo of him and his boyfriend from years ago, when the two had only really just started dating. it took the now thirty-something old a second to recognise who it was in the photo and that it was him and his boyfriend keegan. but the second he caught eyes with the photo, he remembered instantly. he was taken straight back to the day of the photo being taken. even if he was sixteen at the time, it was still a photo he could never forget, a memorable story attached to it.

many years ago

"...why are we even doing this keegan?" mark whines, jokingly disliking the thought of being forced to be wrapped up in a blanket with his boyfriend

"because it's cute and i saw ella and her girlriend do it, please marky?" keegan whines back, pleading as he tries once again to wrap mark up against him with the blanket around them for a bathroom selfie

eventually, mark nodded his head and agreed, knowing he could never actually say no to his boyfriend. so here he was, wrapped up in a blanket, cuddling his boylfriend for a silly bathroom selfie. truly, mark never disliked anything that keegan made him do, he loved every little thing that he asked of him. and it was obvious especially in this photo that mark actually enjoyed being wrapped up in a blanket, smooshed up against his boyfriend. especially now that whenever someone asked him about that photo, he'd get red in the face and immediately go all shy and timid.

but it was something everyone, keegan included, found very endearing and sweet about the teenage boy. even though he was technically hiding this fact about himself that he was gay, not even telling his family the real extent of his and keegan's relationship. but, when he was with his boyfriend, that fear he had about the rest of the people's reactions of him being gay was nonexistant.

and it was all because of keegan. he didn't care that he was still in the closest and terrified of the thought of being gay and seen with another boy at their young ages of sixteen. all keegan saw in his boyfriend was marky, which is what he affectionately called him. half the time, he just knew that yes, mark was closeted but he was more than that. he is intelligent, he is funny, he is kind, he is loving but one of the biggest things about mark that not a lot of people know is that he's gentle and he's caring.

when mark was with keegan, the closeted mark feehily did not exist. when the couple were together, he was plain old mark that loved to sing and hang out with his friends and didn't want to spend too much time away from his boyfriend. he didn't see the intense fear of potentially being seen with another boy romantically that everyone else saw. when he was with keegan and the rest of his family, he's present, he's loving, he's caring and he is gentle and makes sure he pays all the attention in the world to you as if you are the most important thing in the world.

when he was wrapped up in a silly blanket, smooshed against his boyfriend's face for a silly bathroom selfie, he was the happiest sixteen year old in the world. and nothing else was more important to him.

looking away from the photo, it hadn't even occured to mark that he had been crying whilst recalling that memory of when they were sixteen. he also hadn't realised just how much he had been holding back in terms of emotions. it was the first time since the accident that he had actually cried. it had suddenly occured to him that he actually did lose keegan.

that was another night he remembered as clear as a bell. what he couldn't remember was how it could have happened. he thought keegan was excited and happy with his life. last he remembered, the two of them were talking about finally moving out of their current sligo apartment and moving into a slightly bigger one and closer to both shane and kian, the other two sligonian westlife members. however, out of nowhere, he received a frantic call from kian saying that he had been told by someone else that keegan had jumped off a bridge and had been taken away to the hospital.

something he hadn't thought would happen that night was the thought of the love of his life being pronounced dead less than twenty-four hours later. he hadn't even been able to say a proper goodbye to him. he couldn't even remember if he had told him if he loved him that day or not, he had been rushing that entire day, unable to remember their conversation before he had to leave to run errands. he then wondered what would have happened if he had just taken a moment to stop that day, could that have been the trigger to get him to notice that maybe something wasn't right with his boyfriend. but now he had to live with the fact that the space left in that bed was now the ghost of his one true love who he'd never see again.

nicky

so i drown it out like i always do

nicky knew the way he was acting after his breakup that he initiated wasn't healthy or helpful in anyway whatsoever. he was very self-aware that his drinking actions were unhealthy but he couldn't help it. he really loved his ex, brianna, way more than he thought he ever could have. however, it all came crashing down one day when she came home raging mad thinking that he had been out all day with some other girl. only to find out as she stormed into the house that he had been home all day with his westlife bandmates just like he had told her.

whilst it was embarrassing for her and it showed clearly on her face, she still screamed at nicky that she was mad at him. only for him to respond with class and complete cool as he said four words he thought he'd never hear or imagine himself saying.

it had been ages since nicky was able to just stay at home and relax and invite his westlife bandmates, kian, mark and shane over for a catch up. letting his girlfriend brianna know that his bandmates were coming over, he would have thought that she would have wanted to stay to catch up with the guys as well but, she didn't.

"...sorry nicky, not today! i'm really busy and whilst i'd love to hang out with your bandmates, i promised my mam that i'd catch up with her...next time though alright?" brianna was speaking at a million miles a second as nicky just nodded his head

"okay, next time. have fun with your mam, i love you," nicky smiled softly, getting the lounge room ready for the catch up with his bandmates as brianna smiled before turning around and leaving, no kiss and no 'i love you' back as nicky's shoulders deflated

yes, he loved his girlfriend but he didn't love being ignored and unappreciated. it felt as though brianna was now getting bored of nicky. and it made nicky second guess himself as a person. it was as brianna left that his bandmates arrived and arrived loudly.

"...nico...where are you...oh, you're in here...are you okay nicky? where's brianna, i thought she was here as well..." shane trailed off as he looked at the way the older guy's face was solemn

"...shay...am i boring?" was what came out of nicky's mouth as shane looked bewildered at his bandmate, kian and mark walking over as well with a look of shock on their faces

"excuse me nicky?" kian and mark responded at the same time, shane too shocked to say anything as nicky now looked annoyed

"i'm being serious, am i annoying and do you hate hanging out with me and being in the band with me?" he was persistent this time as the three guys look at each other before at nicky shaking their heads, sitting their bandmate down on his couch

"no nicky! sometimes you can be annoying but it's never actually as annoying as we say it is. and we love hanging out with you and being in our band with you, you're the funniest person we know, why do you think we're always coming over when we're not actually doing anything westlife related, sometimes with no notice?" kian responded, his voice and facial expressions soft as shane spoke up, his hand reaching for nicky's as mark just watched on worried

"why are you asking this, where has this come from?" shane questioned, his voice and face also soft as nicky sighed

"i don't think brianna loves me anymore and doesn't want to be seen with me anymore..." he huffs as the three eyes of his bandmates widened in shock, their mouths open

"...why do you think that?" mark questioned as a scoff left their bandmate's mouth

"this morning, just before you three arrived, brianna said she couldn't stay because she was busy and was catching up with her mam when the other day, she said she was mad at her and therefore didn't want to see her this week. and she seemed as though she was happy to stay home and catch up with you three..." nicky sighed but his bandmates knew he wasn't saying something, purposefully leaving it out but they knew he couldn't lie

"...there's something else too nicky, something you're hesitant to reveal, what is it? shane questioned as nicky rolled his eyes, knowing he couldn't hide anymore

"she didn't say i love you back when she left..." he whispered as though he didn't want to say it too loudly otherwise it would become true as his bandmates were gobsmacked, brianna never went anywhere without telling nicky she loved him, whether it was spoken, written in a note or via a text message, she never went without letting him know

"...nicky, i'm sorry. all of us are, is there anything else going on between you two right now? like, are you going through an argument or having any disagreements?" kian questioned as nicky shook his head as he tried to think if they really had been

"i mean, i don't think we are but at this point, i'm never really sure what's going on with brianna and if she's mad at me for a reason i don't know about because she never tells me. and then an hour later after she does some sulking and rings her best friend to bitch about it, she comes back over to me and acts as though everything's all okay again when it isn't because she's not telling me what i could have possibly done to make her mad and then..." nicky didn't blink or breathe as his eyes widened, his bandmates were right, unknowingly, the couple had been having fights that he didn't know about because he wasn't being told they were arguments

"...so yeah...i guess you could say we're having arguments..." his voice softened as his entire body collapsed back into the couch, no longer having the energy anymore as his bandmates seemed sad for their brother

"...does she even know we're over or does she still think that you're chatting up other women cause wasn't that the last proper argument you were aware of, lan?" kian then remembered as he scoffed with an eye roll and a head shake

"i think she still thinks that, even when i tell her that the only 'girls' i'm hanging out with are gillian and jodi and my mam but she'll still think i'm pulling chicks and will get mad at me for it," he huffed as his bandmates were very unimpressed

they were moments from giving nicky some advice regarding what he should do with his and brianna's relationship when it seemed as though he didn't need it. brianna had raced back home because she had heard that according to 'sources' nicky was seen at a restaurant with some model hugging and kissing her when really, he had been at their house the entire day with his bandmates. his own location on his phone proving that he hadn't even left the house at a single point. however, she still screamed at him.

"...nicholas bernard james adam byrne jr i swear to fucking god where are y...you..." brianna's eyes widened and she choked on her voice as she rounded the corner to the loungeroom

just like when she left the house, nicky was in the loungeroom with his three bandmates, shane, kian and mark like he said he would be before she left. embarrassment followed her as she gulped as her boyfriend and his bandmates looked at her bewildered by her aggressive entrance and attitude.

however, it seemed as though she wasn't shamed or embarrassed enough as she still continued, "...you know what, i don't care that you didn't do what these sources said you were doing nicky. i am still so mad at you and i am sick and tired of wondering if one day these rumours are going to come true and that you won't be where you say you are..." she sounded exhausted after saying all of that and it was embarrassing as shane, kian and mark cringed whereas nicky was calm and collected but what he said next was unexpected

"...we're breaking up, brianna..." nicky's voice was almost cold and void of the love he used to feel for his girlfriend as she switched immediately

"...what? no...nicky...please don't do this to me...to us! okay, fine, it was wrong of me to immediately be believing these rumours but do you seriously think they won't affect me like that and have me second-guessing and being insecure?" brianna was desperate as nicky almost laughed and rolled his eyes, his bandmates watching with prideful smiles

"you know brianna, i thought you really did love me these entire two years but i've noticed that for the last year of us being together, i really don't think you have. and the reason why i think this is simply because of your lack of telling me you love me anymore. normally, if you forgot to tell me you loved me, it would send you into a state of panic where you would be spamming me in messages and voicemails making sure i knew just how much you loved me. but now, i get nothing in return for the love i give you except for these stupid 'arguments' because you're mad at me over something that i have no idea about because you never tell me. and then after i hear you bitch to your little girlfriends about it for an hour, maybe more, you love me again. and it's a cycle that just continues and its got me in a head spin because i'm constantly overthinking my own relationship and what the next one-sided argument is going to be from you..."

"... is it the fact that i've just breathed in your direction unknowingly or i've accidentally left my shoes by the front door after a long strenuous westlife appearance or i've 'moved' one of your handbags when really it was in the place you put it in an hour earlier so you knew you wouldn't lose it? what have i done to you that's made me deserve the worst part about you as a human being? what did i do to you that's caused for your insecurity to bleed into my life and make my insecurities bleed again when i had finally stopped them from bleeding?" nicky had never been so vocal about his feelings regarding brianna before, not like he's never gotten this emotional before but it was never about how she was treating him, it was always about westlife and other things that stressed him out

brianna was lucky that nicky's bandmate, kian could hold his tongue, the same with mark and shane otherwise the neighbours outside would be hearing a larger handful. brianna was now totally embarrassed and she had also been humbled. she had never realised just how awful and insecure of a person she really was. she had always prided herself on how lovely and kind she was to those around her but now, after hearing everything nicky had just spewed out to her in front of his own bandmates, she finally realised just how bad she was.

it was the most harshest but a reality check she so desperately needed, "...nicky...i...i am so sorry that i was doing this and this was how i was making you feel. if i had known i was doing this, i 100% would have apologised and changed..." however, she still didn't seem to grasp the fact that nicky was the victim, not her as he waved his hand in the air

"...are you sorry brianna? because you really don't seem to grasp the concept that you are not the victim in the situation. this is my experience with you in our relationship and how you've treated me not the other way around. you definitely knew you were doing this because if you didn't know, you wouldn't have been talking about how pissed off you are with me to your girlfriends after every single one-sided argument. i truly wish the best for you brianna but, i don't think it's with me anymore so, i think it's best you group all of your belongings together and leave. this relationship is no longer healthy for either of us because i can't stay with someone who won't tell me why they are mad and you can't stay with someone who makes you mad for no reason," nicky walks over to the front door, brianna quickly realising he wasn't joking and stood up

gathering up her stuff hadn't taken long and then she quickly walked herself out of the house. not even turning back knowing she wasn't welcome to give nicky one last hug and kiss before getting into her car and driving away. whilst he knew he had done this for the right reasons, nicky was still devastated and he cried as he watched her car leave the street. shane, kian and mark walking back into the loungeroom as they allowed their older bandmate space as he closed the door, sliding down it as he cried as silently as he could into his knees.

"...nico, you can't keep doing this. you drinking yourself into oblivion over brianna is not going to help you. drowning out your sorrows like this is going to kill you and i'm not going to let you do it...." he hears his younger bandmate mark as he throws out of the alcohol as he smirks

"...thanks mark, you have more self control than i ever have," he sighed, his voice sounding sober which confused mark due to the alcohol bottles around him

"wait, nicky, you don't sound drunk at all. have you actually been getting drunk at all?" mark sounded concerned as nicky laughed

"i have but then i've been vomiting it up so i wouldn't seem like i was drunk. i have been trying to stop drinking, mark, i'm being serious. however, i just got a message from one of her friends telling me that she's been missing me and it made me so mad that i started drinking again..." he trailed off, disappointed himself as tears welled in his eyes again as mark slid down the wall next to him, his head on his shoulder

"...well then, let me fix it. give me your phone and the bottle next to you and the issue will be fixed, i promise..." mark smiles softly, holding his hands out as his head lifted away from his shoulder

whilst he was slightly worried about what his younger bandmate was about to do, he was still grateful that he was helping him. it turns out that all mark did was he messaged brianna's friend a very strongly-worded message saying that nicky never wanted to hear about brianna and for the friend to essentially never mention brianna to him again if she wanted to stay friends with nicky. and if she didn't, she'd be blocked and would be barred from seeing nicky in public ever again. that was just the girlfriend of brianna, what mark did with the alcohol was a lot less exciting.

all he did with the extensive bottles of alcohol was just throw it all away into the bins where he knew nicky wouldn't try to retrieve it since he hated the smell of his outside bins. it was this whole not an intervention intervention that really boosted nicky's spirits and had him completely forgetting about his ex-girlfriend and had him acting like his regular self again.

kian

kian thought that was going to love esther for the rest of his life. sure, they were only eighteen by this point, their dating story starting when they were sixteen, but he really thought she was his forever love. so it really sent a knock to his core when she ran away and broke up with him with only a letter and his missing led zeppelin shirt that she took with her as his closure. he had no clue what it was that he had done so wrong that could have caused her to run away and to end their relationship. he cried about this girl for what felt like months and his family had no idea how to comfort him. then, years later, now that he's well into his late-twenties and with a woman he truly loves and is secure with his band, westlife, it shocked him when he saw his old zeppelin shirt when he and his current girlfriend was doing a spring clean of their basement.

kian had never cried this much in this teenage life he thought. not since he found out him and his band westside were opening for backstreet boys' st patrick's day gig. however, here he was nearly inconsolable in floods of tears all curled up on his bed because the girl he thought he was eventually going to marry had run away and broke up with him. with nothing else but a letter on his side table and a missing led zeppelin shirt which had been made known to kian that she had taken due to the gap in his wardrobe that it made.

kian had been crying so much and so loudly that it caused his entire family to rush into his room because they were so worried about him. when they noticed the reason for his tears being because of the letter and missing zeppelin shirt, they did their best to comfort him. they truly had tired to comfort him but it didn't seem as though it was working.

"...kian, my sweet boy, yes, the loss of essie hurts but all young love does. this act of her running away, taking your shirt and breaking you two up in a handwritten letter isn't indicitive of who you are as a person but of who she is as a person. yes, sure, we all thought she was lovely and welcomed her into our family, unfortunately, what you thought of her being your forever is no longer true and that's okay. and it's okay because you're still young, babe, you're eighteen. and you still have so much life to live, you have your boy band dream to still reach. why is this loss of essie so devastating for you?" patricia, kian's mam really wanted to know why this loss was so devastating for her boy

"because i loved her mam...i thought i'd love her for the rest of my life and marry her..." kian sniffled, his voice muffled by his sobs and his pillow that his face was smooshed into as patricia smiled, sitting next to her son with her hands raking through her son's messy hair

"...oh babe, i know you loved her but we can't change the choice she's made. whilst i wish i could so you could be happy i just can't do that. you now have to live without her and be a better version of yourself but that's all up to you. there is no one else but you that can help yourself be better after this..." patricia explained as she continued to brush her son's hair, the rest of the family leaving the mother and son alone

"...i know mam but it hurts a little bit that she thought this is what she had to do..." kian sighed as he sat himself up, patricia finally taking a proper look at her boy and her heart breaking at his face and how sad he looked

"...i know honey, it's going to hurt for a while but that's okay because it means you really did care about her and you really did love her. is there anything i can do to help?" patricia asks, her head tilted as tears slipping out of her sons eyes as his lip quivered, his head nodding

"can you stay with me for a little longer? i feel a little lonely and i don't like it..." kian's voice shook as patricia nodded her head as she gestured for her son to lift up his quilt and blankets

"...of course i can honey, i'll stay here as long as you need me to..." patricia whispered as she lowered herself into kian's bedsheets, quilt and blankets as she laid on her back, placing kian's head onto her stomach just like when he was a little boy

it wasn't until later in the day when kevin egan hadn't heard from his wife and middle child, his 18 year old son since the early morning when they'd all heard him cry hysterically. so, just to double check they were both okay, kevin found himself walking back up the stairs to the second floor to check up on them. by the time he reached the door, he noticed it still wasn't closed fully, the door open slightly and as he opened it as quietly as he could, he smiled and his body relaxed.

his wife and son were fast asleep on kian's bed, kian's arms wrapped right around his mother's with his head resting on her stomach. patricia completely comfortable on her back as she kept a tight hold on her eighteen year old boy. his face still red and puffy, the exhaustion on his face still unmoving since the morning when they had found him originally completely inconsolable. breathing a sigh of relief that the both of them were okay, he moved from his spot leant up against the bedroom door and moved towards the bed. leaning down as best as he could, he placed two kisses, one on both foreheads, one for his wife and the other one for his eighteen year old son who was experiencing his first ever heartbreak.

"...goodnight my dearest loves..." kevin whispered after kissing his son's forehead before rising up from his crouching position and walked back out of the bedroom, closing it behind him as he let his wife and son sleep undisturbed

it would take a couple of days for kian to even have the energy to get himself to leave his bed before he could even think about the prospects of leaving his room. his mam slept with him for three more nights after that first one and it wasn't until his sister fenella came into his room that he had the energy to join the rest of the family.

"come on kian, you can't keep sulking in your room every single day," fenella whispered as she slithered herself into her brother's bed as he dug his face into her shoulder

"it's easier to sulk in here, where no one will be disappointed or annoyed by my sadness in the privacy of my own room then doing it downstairs..." kian's words were muffled by his face being smooshed into his sister's shoulder as fenella giggled

"...no one is going to be disappointed or annoyed kian. besides, no one else is in this house other than mam, dad, me and you, everyone else is asleep. just, please, join us in the lounge room at least, it's family movie night and we can't do it if one of us is missing..." fenella pleaded, her head titled on the pillow, making kian's head fall out of her shoulder as he huffed, placing his head on the pillow as well

"...what movie is it?" he asked with complete seriousness as a small smile formed on fenella's face knowing that he couldn't say no if she said his favourite movie was being played for tonight's family movie night

"your favourite from childhood..." hearing his sister say that sentence really got kian's attention as he raised himself out of his bed by the flash of a light as fenella smiled, sliding herself out her brother's bed as well

the brother and sister duo walking out of kian's room together as they made their way down the stairs into the loungeroom. a smile managed to stretch upon kian's face when he saw that his sister was not lying and his favourite childhood movie was ready and raring to go to be played for family movie night. the rest of the family, patricia and kevin all ready and comfy for the movie, fenella telling the truth when she said the rest of their siblings weren't with them. he knew they were doing this to distract him and remind him that he didn't need esther anymore and he appreciated it. whilst he'd always love her and the love they had together, he had to remember that he was still young, eighteen years old, and still had a lot of life to experience and if essie wasn't apart of it, that was okay and he would be okay without her and he'd eventually find the love of his life, it just wasn't who he thought it would be.

kian was now in his late twenties and was living his dream life. not only was he still in westlife but he was engaged to marry the girl of his dreams, esther a thing of the past. that was until he came across a shirt he hadn't seen since he was eighteen, his led zeppelin shirt. the shirt that essie had taken with her after she had broken up with him via a handwritten letter. now ten, eleven odd years later, he found it in the basement of his new house with his fiancée with a handwritten letter stuck to it.

with furrowed eyebrows he went to walk over to it however, his fiancée, jodi found it first, "...babe, what's this doing here, i've never seen it before and why is there a note on it from someone named essie?" she wasn't mad, she wasn't trying to start any arguments, she was purely confused and weirded out

and so was kian, he hadn't heard or seen anything of essie since that day he found out they were all of a sudden no longer a couple, "i have no idea babe. this shirt is an old one, it was one i had when i was a teenager and the handwritten note must be the break-up note from my ex-girlfriend essie from when she told me she had run away, taking the shirt with her and told me we were no longer dating..." kian sighed, his eyes rolling, not at his fiancée but at the situation as jodi shook her head, it was a new letter with a date showing it was written a couple of days ago

"...i wish it was that letter but it isn't...she dated the note showing she wrote it a couple of days ago. does this ex-girlfriend know where we live?" jodi sounded worried as kian smiled, bringing her closer to him as he reassured her, kissing her

"i highly doubt it baby. i think i remember mam telling me that my ex had returned the shirt to me but i don't recall her mentioning a letter either..." kian tilted his head in confusion as jodi handed the letter to him as she then folded the shirt up neatly

she was waiting for kian to tell her what to do with the shirt as he chuckled, "...you can put the shirt in the donation bin baby. that shirt no longer serves me anymore and i no longer have a purpose for it. it's from my teenage years so someone else can have it." kian smiled, giving a forehead kiss to his fiancée as she smiled back and nodded, walking over and placing it in the donation bin

she then noticed his smile die down. she knew that he was struggling about whether or not it was right of him to read the handwritten note from his ex. whilst he knew how secure him and jodi were, he was still worried about how he'd feel about her feelings. she noticed this and she comforted him.

"baby, i can see your stress lines over this new note from your ex. if it'll give you the full closure you need as to why she ended the relationship all those years ago or if it doesn't, you don't need my permission to read this note. it's clear she wrote it for herself as well but knew it would be more beneficial for you to read. the fact she wrote this i think to me shows that she is aware of how she ended the relationship was unfair, hurtful and probably cowardly given the way she runaway taking one of your shirts with her. and by returning it with this letter, i think she's hoping for wishing one another the best and a possible forgiveness at the end of it all. so, i think you should read it and whether you want me here with you or not is totally up to you..." jodi was truly the love of kian's life if all of her other actions and parts of her wasn't enough to convince kian because her response just then really did convince him that falling in love with her was the correct thing to do

"...thanks baby and i think i'll read it and, you can stay here, you don't need to leave nor do you need to worry that i will pursue essie any further than this letter because you are my one and only and the love of my life that i'm more than satisfied in coming home to every single day..." jodi wasn't the only sweet talker in the relationship as she smiled at kian's words, she knew that the ex-girlfriend wasn't a worry nor a problem but she loved the consideration kian took just in case she was insecure and worried about that

kian opened up the folded letter before taking in a big breath, it almost made his eyes water out of pure nostalgic feelings seeing the way his ex's hand-writing had improved yet still stayed the same. he chuckled at the way she introduced the letter.

"kian, i know what you're thinking and no, i didn't stalk you and i don't know where you and your fiancée live. i bumped into your mum and sisters when i was writing this letter and asked if they were able to deliver it to you, which is why it was in your house. if it's in your basement, i want to really promise you that i am not stalking you. i just remember the basement being the place where everything was stored when i always bought you birthday and christmas presents over the years. anyway, that's not the reason why i'm writing this letter..." kian paused as the ghost of a smile rested on his lips as jodi sat next to him, holding his hand for support as he continued

"...i'm writing this letter because i want to apologise for the way i left our relationship when we were eighteen. i was a complete douchebag and a coward for breaking up with you with a letter and stealing your led zeppelin shirt. you could even say i'm still a coward now because i'm apologising via a letter and not making the effort to say this in-person to your face. however, the reason i'm writing this letter is because i physically can't get to you because i got deployed to the middle east because i enrolled myself into the army and have been with them since we were eighteen which was why i broke up with you in the first place and why i ran away. however, that day i had ran away and wrote you that letter, i wasn't being deployed until the end of that week so i very easily could have told you everything i wrote in that letter to your face. but i didn't and the reason i took the shirt was because i didn't want to forget you, i wanted to make myself believe that if i broke up with you but took one of your shirts with me that i'd make the both of us believe that i would come back and have the thought you'd wait for me to return which i know sounds so stupid because i would never expect someone to wait that long for me to come home. especially after breaking their heart by ending the relationship because i was too scared to tell them in person or the reason why. i also took that shirt with me because i didn't want to forget you and because i didn't want you to forget me and if you saw that missing gap between your clothes you would remember it was me therefore you wouldn't have forgotten me either..." kian couldn't breathe anymore and there was still the other side of the letter left that he still hadn't read yet but jodi knew he couldn't read it anymore so she didn't let him

"...babe, you don't need to read the entire thing if you can't. don't force yourself just because you think it'll give you closure and make you feel better..." jodi's voice was soft and comforting as kian took in a deep breath, tears welling in his eyes as he gulped

"...i feel sick baby...she broke up with me via a handwritten letter and took my shirt all because she enrolled into the army and didn't even feel like she needed to tell me but didn't want me or her to forget one another so she took my shirt and wrote this letter? i loved her with all my heart that i was inconsolable when i read that note! i cried the entire day, baby! my own mother had to sleep with me, in my bed for four whole days because i couldn't bear to be alone..." kian was about to continue but he stopped himself as he felt jodi pull him into a hug, ripping the note out of his hand and throwing it behind her

"...we're not going to finish reading her letter and that shirt is being donated. she no longer exists to us, we are going to continue the rest of our lives and get married without her being a part of it. if she tries to pry her way in by continously writing us letters and getting your family to hand it to us, we'll let them know and then they can cut her off completely. she isn't going to ruin our relationship just because she ruined her own nine years ago because of her decision to enlist into the army! i love you kian and she isn't important anymore," jodi hadn't been so dominating and this outward about her love before but kian loved it, now he really really knew he made the right decision by falling in love with her and making him his fiancée

shane

so i drown it out like i always do, dancing through our house with the ghost of you. and i chase it down with a shot of truth, dancing through our house with the ghost of you.

shane never imagined that he'd be a widower at age 24, nor did he imagine he'd be married before 30 but, that wasn't the point. the point was his wife was dead just three months after their wedding. he knew she was sick but he didn't know it was this bad to the point he was made a husband and then a widower within three months.

ever since the death of his wife, collette filan, shane found himself drowning out his sorrows with alcohol and when he wasn't drinking himself sick, he would walk around their big empty house with no end point in sight or he would be walking through the steps of their elaborate first dance, his alcohol-fueled delusions thinking he was dancing with his wife. he had been doing this for the last three months since collette had died, until his three bandmates nicky, kian and mark caught him.

they had been worried sick for their bandmate and decided to pay him a visit, however, when they arrived, it looked as though no one was home, as though it was a ghost town. when they walked up to the front door, there were no lights and no tv on to show that anyone was home. but the door was unlocked which ultimately gave them the safe enough feeling that shane was home.

because of the front door being unlocked, the three westlife bandmates let themselves into the house when they heard a very quiet faint sound of music. as they walked closer to the source of where the music was coming from, they found their bandmate shane in the giant lounge room that could have been a ballroom walking through the steps of his and collette's first dance from their wedding.

whilst shane had thought he'd reached peak happiness before with all of his success in westlife, he had truly thought wrong. even though he sort of liked all the attention to be on him, if there was one day he'd want a little bit of attention, it would be on his wedding day to his now-wife collette filan. the ceremony had just happened and now the reception was in full-swing with the newlyweds performing their first dance. whilst it was very much known at how better of a singer to a dancer shane was, underestimating him was just as bad because his dance skills for this first dance weren't bad at all.

collette grew up as a latin ballroom dancer so she was quite experienced in all the formal wedding dances including the waltz, foxtrot and salsa to name a few. so when it came to the rehearsals for shane and collette's first dance, the only thing shane felt confident about was that his wife to be would know what to do whereas he wouldn't. however, they slowly found out during the process of these dance rehearsals that shane's dance skills weren't actually as bad as everyone always joked that they were.

collette and shane's first dance as mr & mrs filan was the ever so classic and elegant viennese waltz to etta james' at last. the husband and wife glided beautifully across the dance floor as shane's westlife bandmates and friends and family watched on in pure awe and amazement. not that they thought shane would fail at the first dance, they just never imagined he'd have the agility that he has for westlife in his wedding dance.

the couple were enjoying their time on the dance floor, their first dance slowly coming to its end when collette felt a weird feeling in the lower half of her body. as though she was paralysed however she didn't want to worry her husband so she tried to keep quiet about it. but, she knew shane better than that, she knew he was going to notice and lo and behold, he had noticed.

"...you alright love? are your legs sore? if we made the first dance too long, we can end it here..." shane was cut off by collette as she shook her head, adamant in finishing the dance

"...no babe, it's fine, my legs can stay sore for the last minute or so of our first dance. we didn't make it too long at all, besides, i didn't put in that spin and end floor pose in last minute just for it to be cut. i'm fine, i promise and if my legs still hurt after this dance, i'll sit down for the rest of the dances or until my legs no longer hurt..." collette was a great compromiser and it was always the reason why shane could never truly say no to her

"...okay fine but you promise to tell me if your legs hurt and i'll stop, okay?" shane compromised one last time as collette smiled and nodded her head

"deal!" she whispered back as they continued their dance, only hoping that their wedding guests weren't wondering what was going on and why they weren't dancing but they weren't

the wedding guests were completely concentrated on the fact that their best friends and family members were finally married. they did not even realise that collette's legs were hurting more each minute of the dance. not even realising that shane was trying to help his wife get through the rest of this dance. after shane and collette's first dance, the pain in his wife's legs continued and the pain didn't get worse or better. it just stayed the same. and this worried shane. he had never seen his wife be in this much pain and not be able to help her.

by the end of the wedding, collette was in so much pain she could barely stand on her own anymore and this was when it became really worrying for shane. thankfully, he was able to get him and his wife safely to their wedding car that was transporting them back to their air bnb they were staying in until their honeymoon.

it was during this time between after their wedding and before their honeymoon that they knew that what was happening with collette wasn't something they could ignore anymore. shane then started to remember all the other times that collette would be in pain but just refused to acknowledge it because she didn't want to worry anyone.

finally, after what felt like ages of waiting around for an appointment with an oncologist after getting referred to one from their gp, they didn't really grasp the reason why they were being referred to an oncologist until they walked in.

"...collette filan?" the oncologist walked into the waiting room as the married couple stood up, collette needing help from shane as he helped his wife walk in the direction of the onoclogist's office

"it's lovely to finally meet you both, for some introductions, my name is doctor conrad bennett but please just call me conrad. can you please tell me why you have been referred to me from your gp and what's been going on?" dr conrad bennett was a lovely young man, it was very clear that he was just a little bit older than collette and shane as collette spoke up

"hi dr conrad. it's lovely to finally meet with you after waiting so long. the reason why my husband and i are here to see you is because, me and my husband shane only just got married a month ago i'd say and we were on the dance floor for our first dance when towards the last few minutes of the dance, my legs started to unusually hurt. it felt as though they were becoming paralysed. it should have freaked me out a lot more than it did considering my profession is a latin ballroom dancer but, i just figured because i'd been on my feet all day and my heels were a big heel, that i just needed to take them off and i'd be okay. however, it wasn't okay, straight after our wedding, i was bed bound for at least a week unable to use the motor skills in my feet to walk or the motor skills in my upper body to even pull myself up to a sitting position. it's why shane now has to help me stand up and help me sit back down. i told our general practitioner this and she almost panicked and just immediately sent us a referal to see you..." finally, after not being fearful of what was happening to collette, it was finally catching up to her and she was scared, and so was shane

he couldn't even bear the thought of something bad happening to his wife. their wedding night was not supposed to end like that and neither was their honeymoon. their entire honeymoon was spent with the husband and wife in tears at different points and trying to make sure everywhere they went it was accessible enough that if there was a moment collette couldn't stand up for too long or walk, they'd have access to a wheelchair to get her around. however, it was easier said than done. no one in any of the three countries they went to knew what to do regarding collette's situation except for when they visited australia. it was their time in australia that it felt as though they were slowly getting the answers they needed. it was that moment they realised that what collette was going through wasn't any other injury she had ever gotten from dance before. this was a serious paralysis and it was time it was taken seriously. and that was how they got this referral from their gp to see this new oncologist, dr conrad bennett.

after hearing this explanation from collette with some extra things from shane that had been forgotten, his eyes almost bulged out of his sockets, "...collette, before your gp sent you off with this referral, did she send you for any tests?" he questioned as the husband and wife looked at each other before shaking their heads at dr bennett

"no, she didn't. she actually just sent us straight home...why are you asking? was she meant to send me for testing?" the fear in collette's voice was really apparant now as dr bennet took in a deep breath, shane squeezing his wife's hand tighter

"yes, collette. she was definitely meant to send you for some testing. it actually should have happened that same day! i don't want to frighten you so i am sorry if it does but, from what you have told me and the way you're saying this paralysis has come about for you as a dancer, i have a strong feeling that i know what you may have but if you had gotten the tests that you should have, it would have been confirmed already..." dr bennett sighed as he typed into his computer, wanting to double check collette's medical records just in case tests had been done but she couldn't remember

"...what do i have then, dr? and can it be treated?" collette spoke up, her hand not leaving shane's as his eyes widen in fear and he was usually someone who didn't show a lot of fear

"collette, i think this paralysis you have is what's called metastatic spinal cord compression or MSCC for short. what this is is a serious complication of cancer that can cause tumors to spread to the spine and compress the spinal cord and nerves. it is a medical emergency that requires urgent diagnosis and treatment to prevent permanent neurological damage..." dr bennett trailed off but before he could continue, collette's voice spoke up

"...i...i have cancer?" she whispered as shane didn't even lift his head up to look at the oncologist, not wanting to show the fear in his face as dr bennett nodded his head

"it seems as though you have a specific bone cancer that started by slowly paralysing your legs and then moving up towards your spinal cord. did you have any spinal soreness or injuries in the past that could have maybe never got the proper rehabilitative care it should have?" dr bennett questioned as he looked through the medical file as collette stopped, she couldn't remember but shane did as he lifted his head up

"yeah...she did...she had a really bad dance injury less than a month before our wedding. she was practising a new competition piece when her dance partner dropped her from a very large height and she landed directly onto her neck and spine. she was in the hospital for less than 48 hours before they told her she was fit to be discharged and they sent her home. no matter how many times we tried to come back in to get the care she needed, they basically refused to treat her. wait, could this mean her bone cancer could have happened from a stupid little spinal cord injury that could have been prevented had they treated her properly?" shane was disbelieving at the thought that everything going on with his wife could have potentially been prevented had she received the rehabilitation she needed

"it sounds like it shane. this very well could have been prevented if that original spinal cord injury was given the care and time it needed to heal. however, i can't just be going around saying you've got bone cancer and MSCC without any testing. so, if you two could follow me, we'll have those tests done now..." dr bennett trailed off as shane stood up before grabbing all of collette's things and turning around to help her up, placing her back into her wheelchair

as shane and dr bennett wheeled collette further into the oncology unit, they were able to get all of the tests they needed that would confirm whether or not what she has is either or both MSCC and bone cancer. it felt like an agonising wait for the husband and wife, whether or not what collette had was two life-changing things that could very easily and quickly cause her to deteriorate or kill her quickly. however, it wasn't a long wait at all until they got a call from dr bennett saying how quickly they were able to make it to his office as he had the results of the tests that they had done.

thankfully, it was summer break so there was no westlife shows or appearances that shane had to worry about so he was still able to be by his wife's side during this entire process. they were able to make it quite quickly to the oncology office but what they saw when shane wheeled his wife into the office was definitely not a sight he wanted to see. dr bennett had a look of sorrow and defeat painted on his face. shane didn't even have the energy to carry his wife out of her wheelchair so she could be seated in the seat next to him. it was also clear that collette had no energy to be placed into that seat so she watched as shane just slid into the seat she usually sat in. his hand immediately latching into hers as it rested against her wheelchair.

"...thank you collette and shane for getting here as quickly as you could. the test results have come back from the labs and they were exactly what i thought they would be even though i still had faith that i thought wrong. collette, you do have bone cancer and metastatic spinal cord compression and we do believe both of these were caused by that spinal cord injury that was neglected to be treated by the hospital staff..." dr bennett trailed off as collette was stone cold, almost emotionless as though she knew what was happening whereas shane was the opposite, tears welled in his eyes as his body almost collapsed into itself from the agony and grief of the doctor's statement

"...do you know how much longer i've got left to live?" it was clear that collette no longer cared about whether or not she'd be able to dance again since it seemed obvious to her, the only thing she thought about now was how long shane had left with her before she'd die

"collette, no, we don't know that because there are options that we can do regarding treatment options and what these options are can include is relieving the pressure of the spine compression and it may involve radiotherapy which could also help the cancer as well as a surgery or a combination of both. however, the choice of whether or not you want to go through treatment is completely up to you and your husband shane..." dr bennett trailed off as collette nodded her head, turning it as best as she could towards shane who turned away, not because he was embarrassed but because he knew if he looked at her, he'd be an absolute mess and he wanted just a small form of composure before leaving

"...okay, how do we go about these treatments then?" shane spoke up, his head turned from his wife but his hand still squeezing hers, letting her know that he wasn't running away from her, he just needed to stay composed a little bit longer

"well shane, the way we do them is we have a couple of options. i have already mentioned the relieving of the spine compression pressure and radiotherapy, however, we also have the treatments for just the bone cancer which can vary as well from tissue scraping and radiation therapy or chemotherapy. if we can, we can hopefully treat both the MSCC and cancer at the same time but they will have to be with different treatments. so, if you wanted the radiotherapy for the MSCC, you wouldn't be able to have it with the cancer treatment as well and the other way around. so, how do we wish to proceed with treatments, collette?" dr bennett asked as shane lowered his head back down to his lap as collette sighed

"i think i'd like to try simutaneous treatments for both, i'd like to try the spinal compression pressure for the MSCC and then the chemo for the bone cancer, please..." collette spoke up as dr bennett nodded his head and entered that into the medical file on his computer for collette

"...of course we can do that for you collette. however, that does mean you will be moving into the hospital's oncology ward where you'll stay during the duration of the chemo and spinal compression pressure therapy. is that okay with you?" dr bennett asked as collette nodded her head as she noticed the way shane's body reacted to that news and how it devastated him

"if it helps me and gets me out and 'cured' then i'll do it. shane doesn't deserve to go through all of this pain of losing his wife all because a team of doctors and nurses couldn't be bothered in properly rehabilitating a serious spinal cord injury which has caused cancer and spinal cord compression..." collette huffed as dr bennett nodded his head as he noted the way shane was still looking down at his lap

that was when he had a plan. he knew collette would agree to start her treatment today if it would kickstart the recovery and process to becoming better quicker, it would mean he could take shane aside and talk to him privately. however, it seemed like collette bet him to it.

"...when can i start inpatient treatment dr bennett?" collette asked, her hand squeezing her husbands tight as dr bennett nodded his head

"today, we can get you signed in within the hour if that's not too early?" dr bennett questioned as both collette and shane nodded their heads saying that today was perfect

"that's perfect. today is definitely doable, thank you dr bennett! we have appreciated every single thing you've done for this to happen!" collette speaks up as dr bennet lowers his head with a smile as he opens his door to one of his staff members

the two women share a smile as shane slowly lifts his head up, also acknowledging the new person as dr bennett speaks up, "collette, shane, this is nurse alexandra greaves. she will be the nurse on your unit who will help you with the treatments and spend the most time with you. alexandra, if you could, are you able to send collette up into the suite right now? i'd like to speak to her husband shane privately for a little bit before i have him join you guys, is that okay?" dr bennett asks as nurse alexandra nods her head as does collette and shane

saying their goodbyes to each other, shane finally makes the slightest bit of eye contact with his wife and it's heartbreaking. tears are pooling in his eyes with nowhere to go because the poor man was still trying to keep his composure in front of everyone. it was clear to everyone, his wife and her medical team, noticing that he hadn't even properly processed everything that happened to his wife since their wedding.

it was now apparent that shane wasn't coping as well as thought. it was clear he was already beginning to grieve for his wife and he wasn't even aware of it. it was why he wasn't able to look at her properly not only because of wanting to remain composed but because if he looked at her, he wouldn't know if it would be the last time or not. so, the thought process was if he didn't look at her, the last time he looked at his wife would have been at their wedding when she was still relatively healthy, even with the paralysed legs towards the end. and dr bennett wanted to let shane know that whilst there was going to be support and treatments for his wife to help her, there was also support to be given to him as well.

"...shane, i asked for this one on one with you because it's clear how hard this has hit you and i am so sorry that there wasn't a better outcome for collette. i can tell that this has been something you've barely been able to process for yourself and i can't tell you how sorry i am. it's clear how much you two wanted any other answer but the one i've handed you. and please, don't worry about keeping composure in my office, if you have to cry, you can cry. if you need time away from my office during these treatments and consistent appointments that will now be occuring, that is okay as well. just, don't be unintentionally putting that blame and emotion onto collette. i know you weren't looking away from her on purpose because i've noticed that you're body has decided that it's already starting its grieving process, don't push her away..." dr bennett trails off as shane listens but still doesn't give him any form of eye contact

"...keep her close to you and never let her go. stay with her for as long as you can and for as long as your job as a member of westlife allows you to. she is just as scared and devastated as you are over this. she will need you to be with her the entire process and whilst i doubt this is what will make you run away from her, i want you to know that you need each other and you have to stick by one another. there will be days where collette is going to break and she'll need you there right next to her and then there will be days where you are going to break and you'll need her right next to you. so, please, look at your wife shane and forget about keeping your composure. she wants to know that you feel safe to cry and break down in front of her. she married you because she knew somewhere deep down that you're not always this untouchable popstar persona you are the majority of time..." dr bennett trailed off but it was clear to shane he was not done so he didn't utter a word

"...it's okay to be more emotional, shane. this is the love of your life going through the worst thing possible which is not just going to affect her emotions but yours as well. i saw it earlier, when i revealed that collette does indeed have cancer and MSCC. your eyes filled with tears and your body collapsed into itself. you're not a robot shane, just because some people who are fans of westlife think you are, doesn't mean you don't feel anything. i can still see it in your eyes now, you're drowning in grief, wondering when the worst will happen to your wife. you're also still coming to terms with the fact that from now on, your wife will be living in a hospital getting treatments whilst they'll be months throughout the year you'll be far away on stages with westlife with no ideas on how she's doing. just, promise me you won't shut out those that love you during this time. you will need your family and their support more than you ever have, don't ignore them..." dr bennett supported shane as he nodded his head, lifiting his head up to reveal the tears on his cheeks as he wiped them away

dr bennett smiled softly as he pointed out the box of kleenex which made shane snort out a tiny chuckle. reaching for one, he held it tightly in his hand after cleaning himself up as the two men then walked out of the office and towards the suite where the majority of collette's treatments were happening.

it had been another month, the third since their wedding and the second since starting this medical journey and the first since being diagnosed when it was clear that the treatments were no longer working. they were fighting with one another inside collette's body which was causing her to slowly deteriorate. she was no longer able to move the majority of her body, only her head but even then, due to the metastatic spinal cord compression, moving her head was becoming harder to do as well. being fully bed bound as a former professional dancer was collette's worst nightmare, however, she was glad that her fellow dancers would visit and show her the videos when they used to dance together. another thing she was glad to still be able to do was talk. she was still fully able to communicate, however, when she was really tired or upset, her speech would slur and become really hard to understand. she'd forget what she was trying to say because she was exhausted or upset which would cause the brain fog and difficulty with words.

shane was by his wife's side the entire time. the only times he would leave his wife's bedside was when he needed to use the bathroom or when he was forced to by their families. it was mostly his own family that would force him to return home rather than his in-laws but on the occasion they too would force shane to go home to get some decent sleep, have a shower and change into clean clothes. the other time was when the dreaded westlife tour season returned and he'd have to go back to performing with westlife to finish the year off. westlife and the record company were very sensitive and supportive with regards to his wife's situation and they made sure to always offer the filan's and collette's family support when it was needed. they always made sure to give shane time and space when he needed it but they always accompanied him when he'd rush off after a concert back to the hospital to visit collette if the country of the concert permitted it.

it was actually during a weekend of concerts that shane got the phone call he had been dreading since before they found out what was even wrong with collette. thankfully it was a concert in europe so they weren't on the other side of the world when receiving the call but it was still the call he never wanted to answer. shane was surrounded by his westlife bandmates when he got the call and for the first few rings, he just stared at the phone.

it wasn't until nicky spoke up that shane picked up the phone, "...shay, you should probably answer the call. if it's from dr bennett, it's most likey about collette and very important..." he trailed off as shane nodded his head and picked up the phone call

it was clear for nicky and everyone else watching what the phone call was about. it was obvious that something bad had happened to collette from the way shane didn't say a single word but dropped his phone and collapsed against the wall as soon as the call ended.

"...shane...what was the phone call about? what did dr bennett want, is collette okay?" kian spoke up this time as shane lifted his head up to look at everyone, their eyes softening as they noticed the tears

"she...she couldn't be saved...she...she had been struggling lately due to the two different treatments for the cancer and spine compression no longer working well together to manage one another. both of the treatments were fighting with one another in her body and it was making her weaker and more sick..." shane trailed off, almost breathless as his bandmates lowered themselves to their friend's level

"...they had to have been able to do something to fix it though, right shane?" kian spoke up again as oscar just shook his head, his face crumbling

"no...they couldn't revive her...they took too long to realise just how quickly the fight between the treatments were killing her..." shane's voice cracked as tears streamed down his face

"...shay...we are so sorry...what do you need? do you need to get back home?" nicky asks straight away after his bandmates pulled shane in for a hug as he nodded his head

"...i need...i need to go back home...i never got to say goodbye to my wife! she must have been so scared when she realised she was dying and i wasn't at her bedside with her comforting her..." shane was spiraling and it was a scary sight for his bandmates, they had never seen their lead singer lose his cool as they were witnessing in this current moment

but nicky knew exactly what shane needed and that was a plane back to sligo which was also where the oncology hospital that collette was being treated and now passed away in.

so, nicky did the only thing he knew he could get for him to get him back home to sligo quickly, "...take my private jet, shay. we can have louis prepare it for you right now and we can let the rest of management know and if there are any pushbacks, we'll sort it out. is there anyone you want to go back to sligo with you?" nicky's quick-thinking really still surprised shane but he nodded his head

"nicky...thank you. umm, all of you can come back with me, seriously, thank you for the jet..." shane trailed off, unable to say anything else as nicky nodded his head

whilst he had no idea what or how shane was feeling and how painful it must have been, he knew he was able to at least help in some form because of the fact he still has a private jet from their early days so he can get to places quickly without hassle

"...no problem. mark and i will grab our stuff and kian will go with you right now and mark and i will meet you at the plane..." nicky is serious as he places a comforting hand on his bandmates shoulders, kian and mark starting their section of the plan as nicky stayed a little longer

"...i am truly sorry about collette's passing, shay. i can't even imagine how you must be feeling, it's not fair that you were only married to each other for three months, and those three months were filled with constant fear, grief and devastation because of everything she's gone through. i hope you know that if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to in regards to sorting through things, that you can come to either me, kian or mark. whilst we're in a band together, we're also family and we take care of each other when times go to shit. and please, don't feel like you have to rush back to westlife, we'll wait for you until you're ready, not because we're waiting on you. kian's got your guys' things so, you guys can go to the jet now, mark and i will meet you guys there," nicky sighs as he pulled shane in for a hug as shane nodded his head to everything nicky had just told him

"thanks nico. i sincerely appreciate the help with giving me the jet and your support as well. i'll definitely lean on you guys if i ever need it whether it's for a cry or just to sort out things at our house. i'll see you and mark on the jet later..." shane trailed off as he turned away towards kian who was waiting for him so they could get to the jet as nicky and mark just watched on as they then got their stuff ready to also get onto the jet

nicky, kian and mark couldn't believe what they were seeing. bottles and bottles of alcohol were scattered around the floor as were blankets, cds and dvds as they watched shane move around the living room. the song they were hearing faintly as they walked towards the house was etta james' at last. the song that shane and collette danced their first dance to.

"...shane...what are you doing?" mark raised his voice as he turned the music down as shane turned around, his eyes widening as he saw his three bandmates in front of him

"mark, kian, nicky what you three doing here?!" it was clear to his bandmates that shane had been on his own in this big house for way too long that he was so used to being alone that having guests was scary for him

"we're worried about you. louis and simon suggested we come and visit you to see how you were going and, i'm glad we decided to visit. you've been grieving by getting dangerously drunk and dancing across your lounge room?" nicky spoke up next as shane lowered himself to the couch, exhaustion taking over as the guys joined him

"i don't know what else to do, nicky. how else am i supposed to do to grieve the loss of my wife? we weren't even married for a full month before her health took a turn, i have nothing else to do other than get drunk and dance around my house with the ghost of my wife..." shane trailed off as though it fully clicked in his head that what he was doing wasn't healthy and he was literally dancing on his own, the ghost of his wife haunting him whilst drunk

"...oh my god...my wife's dead...nicky...kian...mark...collette's never coming back is she? she's like, dead for the rest of my life and i'm never seeing her again..." shane's voice cracked as tears welled in his eyes, it scared his bandmates as they hadn't seen shane cry since the day he received the call

"...yes shay...collette's dead and she's never coming back..." kian melted down to his knees in front of his bandmates, his hands grabbing his as his lips trembled and tears welled in his own eyes

"...what am i meant to do now then?" shane whispered, his tears unmoving from his eyes, his voice coming out as a whimper as kian, nicky and mark stopped holding their tears back, only hoping it would let shane know he could do the same

"cry, shane. you can cry and cry until you can't anymore..." kian was about to continue but it was stopped by shane's sobs, once kian gave him permission, he no longer felt like he had to hold it in anymore

kian also cried as he let go of his bandmate's hands but lifted onto his knees from resting on his bum to pull his bandmate into a hug as he cried. nicky and mark joining in a second later as the four men of westlife cried together over the loss of shane's wife and their best friend collette.

mark then spoke up again, "we'll stay here for as long as you need us to, shay. louis and simon have also told us that they are also phone calls away if you need them as well..." his tears carried into his voice but no one cared, not even shane who was finally crying his eyes out over the loss of his wife

"...thanks guys. whilst it's my job to be westlife's image and the lead vocal i appreciate you coming over to visit me and make sure i'm okay even though i lost my wife, you guys lost your best friend..." shane whispered as he lifted his head up off kian's shoulder as the three guys smiled as best as they could

"...whilst you may think it's only your job to be the face of westlife, you also need to be looked after and as your bandmates, that is our job," mark spoke up again as shane nodded his head, reaching out to grab mark's hand as they squeezed each others

"why are you always stuck on dancing you and collette's first dance, shay?" nicky asked as he remembered what the three of them walked in on watching shane do as he smirked

"i'm dancing our first dance because that was the last dance she ever danced before she couldn't anymore. i'm not sure if any of you guys or the other guests knew but towards the end of the first dance, collette's legs began to hurt and she explained it as though they were becoming paralysed. she didn't want to end the dance with only two minutes left due to the ending, she added it in last minute so she didn't want to lose it. so, we finished the dance and then she couldn't feel her legs for the rest of the reception. so she was sat down and forced me to continue dancing with everyone as a way to distract everyone from the fact that she wasn't dancing anymore..." shane trailed off as his bandmates looked shocked, they had no idea that that was how quickly the illness started

"...shay...how long was collette's illnesses going on for before you guys found out?" kian then asked as shane smiled softly, a hint of sadness behind his eyes

"remember her neck and spinal injury she got one month before our wedding when she was rehearsing a new competition piece?" shane asked as all three guys nodded their heads worriedly as shane continued explaining

"well, we presume that it started when that injury happened due to the refusal of the medical team in the neck and spinal unit of giving collette the proper treatment and rehabilitation that she needed. she was discharged from the hospital within 48 hours of the injury occuring. that is what dr bennett highly reckons is what caused the bone cancer which then formed into the MSCC. what he couldn't find out was the reason why it all happened as quickly as it did because he was very confident that they could have at least treated the MSCC well enough that treatment was no longer needed so her chemo could be the main focus," shane explained as his bandmates were beside themselves in shock

"oh my gosh shay...so, if only the neck and spinal unit in the hospital took more time in giving the correct treatment and rehabilitation to collette, there could have been a chance that none of this would have happened?" kian questioned as shane nodded his head as his bandmates were even more shocked

"yeah, basically. the neck and spinal unit, if we really wanted to, could be made legally responsible for everything that happened to collette which includes her death due to their negligence in providing the life-saving care that they should have given to her," saying that sentence made all the emotions come back for shane as he started to cry again but thankfully, his three bandmates were all there for him straight away

shane spent the rest of the day on the couch with his bandmates as they went between crying, sharing their favourite memories of collette as well as watching the wedding video. something they hadn't seen since the day collette was pronounced dead as that was when their videographer had finished editing and fine tuning the video.

whilst shane still did occasionally dance through the house, it wasn't with the ghost of his wife due to his drunk delusions but with the sober memory and joy of what the dance was for him and how it made him feel when he danced it that first night. and on those occasions he danced and sang through the house, he had his three bandmates dancing it with him with the wedding video of the moment playing in the background.

fin

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2026

[amberjazmyn]

not here to tell you

pairing : oc!melody filan x older brother!shane filan & platonic!westlife

summary : melodie filan, younger sister of westlife legend shane filan is dancing her last three dances on strictly come dancing as her last chance to win the mirrorball trophy. during her couple's choice, which was a dance dedicated to her and shane's deceased parents (as well as nicky byrne and kian egan's fathers), a sweet moment ensues between one of the judges and the filan. 

warnings : slightly sad, mention of deceased parents, older brother!shane, strictly come dancing and winning strictly come dancing

a/n : don't @ me but i totally got inspired for this one-shot by my book "stars" collabro that has a westlife cameo in it so i may just have a strictly come dancing storyline in my westlife book because i do love me a strictly come dancing storyline. so, i am stealing this one-shot from chapter thirty-eight of "stars" which shows the final three dances and all of that fun jazz. and yes, this chapter will be in lowercase even though it's not entirely sad. 

𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐰𝐨 | 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

it was friday evening and, the night before the final of strictly come dancing 2022 and alongside melodie filan and her partner kai widdrington, all of the remaining couples were on the "it takes two show" to talk with the hosts, rylan and janette. to tell them about their journeys on the show as well as the three dances that all surviving contestants were competing with during tomorrow night's final show. 

in her skin-tight maxi dress, heels and his button-down shirt and jeans, kai and melodie sat in their it takes two interview with rylan clark about their strictly journey. melody was downright excited as was kai, however, he was a lot more emotional about the whole thing than he thought he would be. especially considering this time last year, whilst he was technically a 2021 finalist, he wasn't able to compete for the glitterball due to his celebrity partner, aj odudu's ankle injury. this meant that this was his first actual year going up for the glitterball trophy in the strictly come dancing final. 

rylan had introduced their vt package for their strictly come dancing journey and it felt so bizarre for kai and melodie to be watching all of the content from the last twelve weeks of their thirteen-week journey on the show. they watched in complete awe and contentment as it all suddenly finished too quickly and was back to them and rylan on camera. 

rylan smiled, "awe, that was amazing to watch, wasn't it? congratulations, you're in the final!" rylan cheered as melodie and kai chuckle as they hold hands and sit cross-legged 

"how are you feeling after watching that?" he asks as kai immediately turns to melodie who giggles and responds 

"umm, emotional, i feel exhausted *laughter*, i look like a mess, i'm sweating. i've recently just had to go and strap up my foot because it's still inflamed from the week before *giggles* but, i feel so grateful and it feels amazing to be in the final and to watch that video back. it feels crazy because when we think about it, it doesn't feel like we've done a lot but, having that vt showed in front of us, we really have done a lot and it has truly been the best adventure i could have ever gone on and just seeing how far we've come since the beginning. i mean, it's completely overwhelming but, i'm sure we can pull it together for our three dances tomorrow night!" melodie giggles, her smile bigger than it ever had before as kai nods his head in agreement 

"let's talk about our three dances for tomorrow night, you are doing the quickstep which was a very successful dance and it was your first ever perfect score as well as the earliest in strictly come dancing history *cheers* and a dance that is very well loved by everyone. and, melodie, something you said to janette last night was that you were going to be even sassier, may i ask, how is that even possible because you were already so sassy during the original dance *laughter*," rylan pauses as melodie giggles as she shakes her head 

"we first watched the dance back, kai and i, alongside my brother shane and kian, his bandmate, i think the night before kai and i spoke with janette. and they both agreed that whilst this was one of kai and i's best dances, i just needed to be just a little bit sassier and have slightly more attitude in the beginning and i agreed. especially considering both shane and kian did multiple productions of grease during high school with fellow bandmate mark before westlife began. so, it's a tip i'm willing to improve on if it means it gets kai and me closer to potentially winning so, that's what i'll be doing tomorrow night *laughter*," melodie responds as rylan nods his head, not daring to question it again 

"now, melodie, did you ever feel scared or unsure about joining this show, strictly come dancing?" rylan asks as she laughs, falling into kai who laughs as well 

"umm, yes, i was. even though i did mention from the beginning that i wasn't going to be terrified or what have you. it all kind of changed when i got to about week four and i suddenly got too in my head and started having moments where i'd just be ruthless with myself. and i think it stemmed from having such a fantastic week the week before with our grease-inspired quickstep and then our viennese waltz landing us in the bottom two that really scared me the most. i don't even think that was our "worst" dance either *kai and rylan shake their heads* it was just simply that something clearly wasn't correctly done in the foundations of the dance. and not that i'm saying it's kai's fault, it definitely wasn't but between the final rehearsal to the live performance, something went wrong and unfortunately, we had to dance it again and blessed be god, we were saved for another week--"

"--and it never happened again!" rylan stepped in as melodie nodded her head, agreeing 

"yes, absolutely right! after week four, it never happened again but it was something that threw me off in a way that had never done before and it truly upset me but i never let you guys see it. because, until just last week, none of the vt's had shown me getting upset or crying as other celebrities have. but, now that we are here in the final, i don't feel that same fear that i did in week four and then the following week leading up to week five. and now, i don't feel scared to go out and perform our three dances tomorrow night, like, i feel the most confident i've ever felt since starting. and i'm just excited to show everyone the connection that kai and i have built and sustained throughout this whole competition so, i just cannot wait," melodie finished as kai nods his head in agreement as rylan smiles sweetly before asking another question 

"kai, speaking of the vienesse, that's not the dance that the judges picked for you guys to do again, even though it was your lowest scoring, they chose for you guys to do your couple's choice again. can you explain why they chose that instead of the dance that you'd think they'd want you to do again and try for a higher score?" rylan questions as kai responds with a smile, melodie also smiling with a small laugh 

"i know right? when melodie and i found that out, we were kind of confused because, as you said, our vienesse is our lowest scoring so, we would have thought that they'd choose that one so we could give it another shot and try to get it at a higher score. but, i think ultimately the reason why they didn't choose the vienesse and instead chose our couple's choice was they felt as though they didn't get the full story of the couple's choice but they saw so much of the vienesse that they felt like we should just leave it behind and have that stay at the original score. because i guess, it's a reminder not just to melodie and me but to everyone that it is okay to have one dance or two that just aren't really up to perfection and that it doesn't always have to be that way..." kai trailed off as rylan nodded his head in understanding as kai continued

"...and, another reason i think they chose the couple's choice was because i guess it touched not just the judges and the audience but it also touched the entire country. and touched them in a time where we were seeing a young adult open up about things that until recently, had only been talked about and mentioned by her brother. and having melodie open up about it and hearing her side of the "inspiration" of our couple's choice is so heartbreaking that you would have never guessed that that's really how she was dealing with it since it was never revealed until now. and, in all honesty, we are so excited to do our couple's choice again since it does give melodie the time and healing to really once again become vulnerable and open up about the things that maybe she never thought she'd open up about before," kai responds as melodie nods her head in agreement, speaking up 

"yeah, i absolutely agree with everything kai just said. especially in regards to why the judges didn't pick week four's dance. it wasn't just something kai and i wanted to leave at the low score that it originally was but, it was the judges too because, they did say they either wanted to see the vienesse again or our couple's choice. and they said ultimately that, out of both dances, our couple's choice was a lot more meaningful and it showcased a lot more than our vienesse did. and that was why the judges decided to have kai and i perform that dance again as one of our three final dances," melodie responds as rylan nods his head with a smile as does kai 

"just before we talk about the showdance because that is so much fun to watch since i got to watch a little bit of it, let's talk a little bit more about your couple's choice. in regards to your couple's choice, it's quite an emotional dance isn't it, melodie?" rylan asks as melodie and kai both nod their heads 

"yes, it is very emotional. i mean, we danced it for the first time back in week 5 and it was for sure one of our favourites, if not our number one favourite because it was just so emotional and it felt so freeing that i'm just so glad i get the pleasure of doing it again. but, with my whole family in the audience this time and not just shane. so, getting to have nicky, kian, mark, their partners and their kids in the audience watching it will for sure be the icing on the cake for me. because even though it is about the loss of me and shane's parents, i'm also having a little surprise dedication so, i'm glad that i have the whole westlife family there tomorrow night to watch it live," melodie pauses before continuing after another small prompt by rylan 

"so, now that you have been rehearsing it again alongside the quickstep and showdance, you did mention to janette that it is the most emotional dance you two have done. so, can you explain what it's been like in rehearsals since it is a dance that you are doing five weeks after doing it for the first time?" rylan prompts as melodie giggles, kai lovingly letting her take the reigns of the interview 

"oh, like i said five weeks ago when we first danced it, i absolutely love it. it was already so emotional but, this time we've made it even more emotional and, it's actually the most vulnerable i've ever been in any of the dances. even though we danced it five weeks ago but, yeah, it's the most emotional either of us, kai included, have gotten throughout this whole competition. like we said last week, again, it is a gorgeous dance, it's a beautiful way to pay tribute to some family members and yeah, we're just glad we get to dance it along with the other two dances. and, i just can't wait for the rest of my family to see it for the first time and for shane to see it a second time," melodie smiles with a head nod as rylan smiles sweetly as does kai who comforts his partner 

"wow, i'll make sure to have the entire audience decked out with boxes of kleenex before your couple's choice--" 

"--for a second time!" kai jumps in with an exaggeration of wiping away his imaginary tears as melodie laughs, smacking him playfully but nods her head in agreement, rylan chuckling before continuing 

"i know it's been an emotional and exhausting week for you guys and you're tired and i don't want to make it worse. however, we are running out of time so we can't talk about the beloved showdance but we do have an amazing little clip of your friends and family who want to say a few words to you," rylan announces as melodie's eyes widen and she slides down her seat on the couch, squeezing kai's hand tighter which he reciprocates 

"--growing up with melodie was the best thing in the world. she was the sweetest, shyest, happiest little girl and she was such a party when she was around people that she was comfortable with because of how shy she was. when me, melodie and our older sister mairead were slightly younger but not too young, we'd always run through our parents' cafe since we lived above one back home in sligo, called the carlton cafe. and we'd always be getting told off *giggles* but, we never really got into any serious trouble with our mam and dad because i think they enjoyed watching the way melodie was so carefree and innocent as a little girl growing up in that cafe. i think the reason why melodie is the way she is now is that she was always surrounded by music and i think having me as her older brother was a big influence on her especially," shane, her older brother speaks with a huge smile 

"so, when she did decide at around fourteen/fifteen that she wanted to actually take music a little more seriously rather than just be working back home at the cafe with our parents, she performed for the first time at a nightclub with westlife, simon cowell and louis walsh as apart of the attending guests *giggles* and she just was glowing on stage. her whole face lit up when she heard the crowd cheering her on and clapping. it was from that moment on that i could see louis become excited and i could tell that he wanted to make something of my sister and take a chance on her in the same way that me and my bandmates were, so, he did," shane smiles with a head nod as he continued to think about his little sister 

shane's wife and melodie's sister-in-law then came on the vt, "i didn't meet melodie until me and shane really began seriously dating and that was maybe around the early 2000s, and that was when she was two. so, the earliest memory i probably have of my sister-in-law was at shane and i's wedding where a little three-year-old melodie was the flower girl and after throwing the flower petals as she walked down the aisle was her running straight over to me and giving me the biggest hug. she then gave one to shane and then just stood next to my bridesmaids for the rest of the wedding..." gillian smiled, her voice sounding as though just talking about that memory had brought her right back to it

"...watching her grow up from essentially a baby to a twenty-one-year-old has genuinely been an honour and privilege because she's a lovely girl and just getting to watch her dance every saturday has been the best thing in the world. melodie, because of the fact that she is the younger sister of a popstar, has had to have her life all of sudden projected in front of so many people that, watching her remain the same little girl that i remember her being when i was first meeting her before she decided to be like her brother is truly amazing. i think it was watching her older brother go through everything he went through in the public eye that really shaped melodie into the young lady she is now. and it's also why she is so confident and why she doesn't want to waste any more time being scared of what the media around her has to say about her and her family," gillian spoke with a small smile and laugh as she continued 

"watching melodie compete on strictly now after watching her succeed as a soloist after watching her brother do a similar thing with westlife and seeing how different she looks and how she is so much more confident really gets me emotional every single evening. even though i'm only her sister-in-law, i can still recognise she just looks happier than i think i've ever seen her be. this was the first time i think i had ever seen my sister-in-law so comfortable in herself and so happy to just be herself," gillian smiles as tears well in her eyes as she giggles softly 

photos of melodie from when she was a kid and throughout the years were shown whilst the voiceovers played over the top when a video message from her fiancé showed up. making melodie and kai who were watching this get extremely excited. 

"watching my fiancée every weekend on strictly come dancing has got to be the best thing in the entire world. i mean, i've already seen her sing and perform on a stage before but, this is the first time i've really seen my fiancée enjoy herself and just be what she's always wanted to be and that's happy and confident. and the fact that this is the show that's made her be what she's always wanted to be is incredible and it's the reason why i'm always going to be grateful that she was given that opportunity to be happy and confident. and it's because it's the best thing i could have ever imagined watching every weekend. because before joining strictly, i don't think melodie really saw herself as a happy and confident person so, i'm glad that she was finally viewing herself in the same way that everyone else had always seen her as. and, it's just amazing to see her finally believe in herself," ollie sniffles with a small giggle as he got emotional whilst talking about his fiancée and how this show has obviously changed her life for the better 

alongside videos of melodie and kai dancing, were video messages from a few other of marielle's siblings and family members but, the ones that really caught the girl off-guard were from her westlife uncles.

"getting to watch our niece strictly come dancing every weekend has truly been a proud moment for the three of us. especially getting to watch it on the weekend after a show or something and getting to see shane *laughter* just having the time of his life with gillian and the kids getting to watch melodie and kai. but, now that we're coming to watch the final this weekend and actually see two of their best dances alongside their showdance is going to be a night that'll be unforgettable," mark spoke up first as the boys all agreed as melodie felt her heart melt 

"watching my sister on that stage every weekend has been something that has brought so much joy into my family's life after all the loss we've recently gone through and seeing melodie smile and laugh and watching her have fun has always been what i've wanted my sister to have in her life. all i've wanted has been to see my sister smile, laugh and just have fun and watching her do that with kai has been such a cathartic experience and it's been an experience i'm glad that she committed herself to because it is really the first time that she's ever done a reality competition show. especially because she's only been known as 'shane filan's younger sister', it's been rewarding to see her finally be spoken to by her name which is melodie filan and i think that is also what has boosted her confidence so much because she's finally being acknowledged as her own person and not just someone else's sister," shane smiles as melodie smiled at what her brother said 

kian spoke up next, "anytime i think the four of us turn on our tellies and see melodie and kai dancing or being interviewed, i can't help but just feel so proud of my niece. whilst she is a gorgeous singer and was always going to be famous from the moment it was released that her parents were having an eighth child via surrogacy. and that shane would be travelling to america to meet the child and what have you, watching her actually be in that limelight as she got older has truly been something that has taken the four us back to when it was all new and flashy lights for us..."

"...but, for melodie, it's not as scary because she grew up with it due to her brother's status whereas, the four of us were so new to it, we didn't have a guiding light so getting to be that light for melodie and then watching her come onto this show and open herself up in ways that she's never done before has truly been a moment in time for us all. melodie has truly done all of us back home in ireland proud and, i just know that those we've lost are also looking down on her and are also so proud of her. we love you melodie and let's see you grab that mirrorball this weekend!" kian blows a kiss to the camera as melodie smiles as kai hugs her as nicky spoke up in another video 

"watching melodie accomplish what she's been able to accomplish in these last twelve weeks since she was never a dancer, to begin with, having no prior dance experience, let long ballroom has been extraordinary. the fact that whilst she has never danced before this competition, it's very clear that it's her musicality that helps her have knowledge on being able to dance ballroom. and also, having done this same competition myself and just missing out on the final, seeing my niece get to that place in the competition is truly wonderful because i think she knew how badly i wanted to get to the final during my year of strictly..."

"...and when i didn't, i think she knew straight away that for that reason, it made her push herself even more because she knew if i couldn't get to the final for myself and my family, then she could get to the final for me and for our family. i absolutely love melodie and kai is amazing as well and, i just want to wish both of them, well, we all do at westlife, the best of luck for the final tomorrow night. and, we just hope that we'll be watching the both of them lift the glitterball trophy live when we come to watch it in the strictly studios," nicky smiles as the westlife lads smile and nod their heads, melodie and kai moved by all the messages 

after nicole, shane's daughter and melodie's niece, sent a message on behalf of the westlife children, the rest of melodie's family and friends revealed what their favourite dances were. mark (westlife) said he enjoyed her and kai's movie-week quickstep, nicky, kian and shane (westlife) said they adored her and kai's couples choice. the westlife kids all agreed that the american smooth and argentine tango was exquisite whilst the westlife spouses and ollie, melodie's fiancé said they enjoyed the paso doble. 

however, it only got emotional when shane, with the westlife lads again, mentioned how proud their parents, peter and mae, alongside nicky and kian's deceased fathers, would have been of melodie and how they would have loved to watch their special girl dance and win strictly come dancing. 

" after the awful year we've had, losing both of our parents, mae and peter, we genuinely think that our mam and dad and nikki byrne sr and kevin egan would have really loved to watch their special girl dance on strictly. and i'm sure they are and that they've been looking down on our girl and cheering her along every single week..." shane smiles tearfully as he looks at his bandmates who smile back 

"...they'd for sure be kicking themselves and wishing they were still here to watch you melodie because they would have loved and absolutely indulged on you and celebrated how happier and confident you've gotten since starting this show. you are a superstar and, like the judges say every week, you really could get away with throwing away the singing career and start to train as a ballroom professional and join the strictly professionals. you are an exceptional dancer and it's absolutely blindly obvious at this point as to who the winner is, we love you, melodie!" nicky blows a kiss to the camera with a teary-eyed smile as the other three do the same thing 

a video from movie week showing melodie and kai's first ten was then accompanied by a video from ollie, melodie's fiancé, "when elle and kai got their first forty back in week three, with their grease-inspired quickstep, that was the moment i really took a step back and realised just how amazing melodie was even though to me, she was already perfect and sensational. that was also the moment where i really saw melodie's confidence shine through and was when i saw her really realise that she was way more than just her westlife legend older brother even though she was always told that's all she'd be known as her whole life. at that moment, in her eyes, she was no longer just "westlife legend, shane filan's younger sister" she was melodie filan, she had her own name and she was finally acknowledged for being a talented performer," ollie explains with the sweetest smile on his face as the westlife lads once again came up on the vt 

"if melodie was to win, it would be completely life-changing, not just for her but i think for every other young person across the country and possibly the world. she was always looked at weirdly and with a lot of judgement for being the younger sister of a boy-band member but now, she's finally being acknowledged for being the talented girl she always was without the shadow of shane's fame. why is she not allowed to be successful without the label of her brother's fame constantly looming over her when she's also talented?" kian spoke as the lads all agreed with their bandmate's statement as melodie found herself going red in the face as she watched 

"to see her have the same ups and downs that nicky and other celebrities that do this show go through but then pick herself up and continue with the grace and confidence that she has now and gotten into the final is truly unbelievable. i mean, all the hard work she and kai went through is paying off in the best way. i just absolutely adore that girl and, i'm so glad i got to snatch her up and put a ring on it before any other person could *laughter*," ollie ends off the individual messages when for the very last one, everyone had come together to give melodie and kai a group message 

"you are amazing, melodie and kai! we know you can win, go out there and win it for us!" mark calls out before everyone else joins him for the final message: 

yelling, "we love you melodie and kai! you can do this! come on, bring it home to ireland!" the group yelled as melodie and kai chuckled 

one last clip of melodie and kai laughing and hugging was shown before the vt was completely finished and went back to rylan, melodie and kai. 

rylan awes as does melodie as she giggles, revealing to everyone that she hadn't cried but kai had and he laughed, a small pout on his face, melodie offers him a tissue from the glitterbox that rylan had handed her, "awe, kai, melodie. now, i need to ask you both, i know the competition has meant the most to you and you haven't really mentioned winning but, how would it feel if you two did end up lifting that glitterball at the end of tomorrow's show?" rylan questions as melodie chuckles, comforting kai as she tilts her head to the side slightly 

"umm...honestly, of course, it would feel amazing and because kai deserves it so much. but, i...i don't know honestly! it's a weird question for me to answer because i've truthfully never thought about winning this show! i only wanted to do it because nicky never got the chance to dedicate a dance to his beautiful father, god rest his soul as well as my own parents we sadly lost and kian's father. and i also wanted to let the country know and also myself in a way that i could be something great and not just the younger sister of a westlife legend," melodie shrugged as rylan's shoulder's slumped and he pouted as did kai as melodie chuckled 

"aw, love," rylan whispered as melodie explained herself

"i would love to lift that glitterball, don't get me wrong rylan. of course, i would because like i just said, kai truly deserves it and it would mean so much to him and myself. but, i think just being on this show full stop and getting partnered up with kai and dancing with him every week and just laughing with him and getting to see thirteen weeks of his daily life has been similar to the feeling of winning that trophy. like, getting to feel this euphoric feeling of dancing with kai every weekend has just been life-changing so honestly, whether or not kai and i win, it won't mean any different and it won't make us sad or anything because just doing this competition together has been a dream," melodie smiles as she squeezes kai's hand tightly as he had been trying to wipe away his tears the whole time, nodding his head in agreement as rylan nods his head as well 

"i know you're emotional kai, but, even with all the support and love not just from your friends and family but from the public, what would it mean to you kai, to lift that glitterball?" rylan asks as kai tearfully giggles, tilting his head similarly to melodie before responding 

"honestly, it would mean the entire world to me. it would mean that melodie's family were absolutely right in trusting me with their special girl. it would mean that *sniffle* everything i did was all worth it," kai whispers as he started to cry again, melodie pulling him in for a hug as rylan cooed, his shoulders relaxing again as he gave the couple a moment 

"that was so sweet of you to say, kai," rylan smiles as kai nods his head, calming himself down so he can continue 

"it sounds so dramatic but, i truly mean it because that's what it does mean for me. i mean, the fact that melodie and i are here and have gotten this far is the tell-all so, we're extremely grateful," kai finishes as he wipes away the rest of his tears, melodie nods her head and rylan smiling 

"we're also grateful that you are here! they have been amazing everybody, let's give them a round of applause. well, listen, best of luck for tomorrow, get some rest because we've got a big night tomorrow. everyone, please, give it up for melodie and kai. now we go over to janette who is with the other celebrity/pro dancers," rylan finishes as melodie and kai applaud and giggle as they then leave 

*

it was the final of strictly come dancing 2022 and melodie was just about crapping herself. all three finalists had three dances they were dancing as part of their last chance at winning the strictly come dancing glitterball trophy for 2022. the dances that melodie and kai were going to be doing are their grease-inspired quickstep which was chosen by the couple and got their first and the earliest perfect score, their showdance as well as their couple's choice which was chosen by the judges to see again. 

videos of melodie walking on the strictly stage in a gorgeous red halter-neck one-piece playsuit were then shown. her blonde hair was in a slicked-back high ponytail with glittery pumps to tie the outfit all together. several videos showed melodie reaching up towards the glitterball with the biggest smile on her face as she stared at it in complete awe. she couldn't believe that she was a finalist in strictly come dancing 2022. 

speaking in the vt for the final time, melodie smiled, "getting to the final of strictly is incredible. like, since the beginning, i don't recall ever thinking i'd get this far even though i wanted to for nicky and his father as well as my own parents and kian's father. and it was never because i doubted myself per se or kai but because i genuinely didn't think that the public would be able to find me likeable or have any other personality to me other than the fact that i'm related to shane filan from westlife. however, being able to say i am in the strictly final is truly something i'm always going to be grateful for and proud of," melodie smiles as she nods her head

kai laughed as they rehearsed for their quickstep, however, the reason why kai was laughing wasn't what you would think it would be over. melodie had just been surprised by her fiancé ollie, who had just come home from his military deployment. so, the reason why kai was laughing was that melodie was trying to teach her uncle, nicky, westlife singer and former strictly quarter-finalist her and kai's grease-inspired quickstep.

however, nicky just couldn't get it nor could he wrap his head around the reason why it was so fast and why it was so hard! he never remembered his quickstep being that quick or that different even though the quickstep is very quick and hard. however, it seemed as if melodie was doing it seamlessly and perfectly, even with nicky not really getting the steps and that just made kai laugh even more and it also got nicky and melodie laughing as well as everyone else who was watching them. 

and this time, it was nicky apologising to melodie, not melodie apologising to someone else, "i'm sorry elodie, that was utter crap!" nicky chuckled as the song finished, melodie cackling, her head flying back as she calmed down before responding 

"it's totally fine, nico but, oh my god, that was hilarious!" melodie giggled as she placed her hands on her head to open up her airways and let oxygen through so she could properly breathe 

however, like always, with all of the laughter between the two, they also had time to knuckle down and be serious during their rehearsal time. they didn't want to mess up, not at the final of all places. they couldn't afford to since they had basically been labelled as "perfect" since the beginning, with the exception of their vienesse waltz, there was no way in hell they were going to fuck it up now when it really mattered. after more videos of kai and melodie rehearsing their quickstep were shown, so was a voiceover of melodie talking about this dance again and how excited she was to have the opportunity to dance it again. 

"...the dance that kai and i chose as our favourite dance is our movie week quickstep inspired by grease the movie, dancing to the very iconic you're the one that i want. and this quickstep is probably the quickest quickstep that kai has ever done with a contestant before so, the fact that he gave it to me was very stressful when he did first give it to us but, honestly, it has become one of my favourites, hence why we chose to do it again for the final," marielle smiled as she giggled in the background 

"we just hope that we can recreate how it felt when it was seen for the first time all over again. because, dancing it the first time was probably at the time, the highlight for me and kai on the show so i just hope we're able to replicate that feeling one more time on that stage," melodie smiles as the vt ends 

as the vt ends, melodie and kai get into their positions and smile at the crowd hyping them up, even if it was mostly their family that could be heard, and waited for the musical cue so kai could call out his dramatic "melodie?" and the dance could begin. 

hitting their final pose, melodie and kai started laughing in joy, incredibly proud that they were able to, once again, replicate what this dance was like for the first time all those weeks ago but better. running over to tess for the judges' comments, the poor host was flabbergasted at how amazing their first dance of the evening was. it was clear that they were wanting to do nothing else but win tonight, melodie and kai. 

"what an amazing quickstep and what a joy to see it again, shirley?" tess comments before gesturing over to shirley who just looked shocked 

"i am truly flabbergasted at how amazing that was you two! it was as if we were seeing this for the first time all over again! i mean, melodie, you were sassy, you were confident, you were happy. and in all honesty, you'd be an amazing sandy on grease in the west end. i mean, you absolutely slayed this dance and i need to say it again because it truly blows my mind at how easy it is for you to not just follow but also keep in time with kai! you were not falling behind at all my darling! this characterisation was perfection, i cannot wait to see your showdance and the judge's choice!" shirley winks as melodie and kai smile as they attempt to catch their breath, thanking the head judge 

craig shakes his head with the largest smile on his face, "i know i said this when we first saw this dance but, i have to say it again, that is the quickest quickstep my eyes have ever watched and i feel dizzy but in the best way possible *laughter*. for this to be your first dance of the evening and knowing the next two that are coming, i'm flowing with excitement and i am so glad that this was the dance you picked to do again because i have loved this dance since the start and it was a blast watching it all over again! well done and thank you for your wonderful and flawless execution of a quickstep two times!" craig cheers as do the audience as melodie and kai chuckle, looking to motsi 

"i mean, i am shocked! that was so much fun and glorious to watch! like, i can only feel happy and energetic whilst watching that dance! watching you really sink your teeth into that character again was just fantastic, melodie! as shirley said, you would be a firecracker of a sandy on the west end production of grease cause you can sing, you can dance, you can act as well which is basically everything needed in a musical, and boom, you're a star! and like the other two judges before me have said, i cannot wait to see your other two dances, congratulations!" motsi smiles, giggling as melodie chuckles as well as she blows the judge a kiss as they look over at anton 

"when we first saw this dance in week three, we all knew how beside myself i was so, i remembered to take in a big deep breath before saying my comment *laughter* so, melodie and kai, all i have to say is, that was brilliant and i am so thankful that you chose to perform this dance again because not only is it one of your favourites, it's one of my favourites too. you were sensational melodie, your legs, your smile and your extensions were glorious, as was your characterisation! i am immensely proud of you and i'm looking forward to your next two dances, well done," anton winks as melodie smiled, thanking him as does kai 

tess smiled as she turned back to melodie and kai, "amazing comments, not that that isn't new, melodie and kai. however, we can't talk about them so, over to you claudia so we can get the judges' scores and these two can get ready for their showdance!" tess winks as melodie and kai grab hands and run over to the safe box to get their first round of judges' scores 

"...the judges' scores are in... craig revel horwood..." 

"...10!" 

"motsi mabuse..." 

"...10!" 

"shirley ballas..." 

"...10!" 

"anton du beke..." 

"...10!" anton smiled as the safe box filled up with cheers and applause for yet another perfect score for melodie and kai 

"congratulations, melodie and kai, yet another perfect score! wish we could speak more but, since you've got to get ready for your showdance, we have to let you go!" claudia laughs as melodie and kai nod their heads, just as astounded as everyone else as they left to get ready for their showdance 

in the vt for melodie and kai's showdance, it was explained that this year, the showdance would be danced in between the couples' favourite and judges' pick. because the majority of the finalists had their couple's choice/most emotional dances as the judges' pick dance and they decided to show them last. 

in the video, small clips of melodie and kai rehearsing the showdance were shown and it was beautiful. they were show-dancing to emeli sande's shine and, just like the first vt, many giggles and silly little mistakes were shown in this vt as well. 

the amount of fun that melodie and kai were having whilst rehearsing their showdance was so bright and pure happiness for those watching. 

in giggles, melodie attempted to explain her and kai's showdance, "for...for our showdance *giggles* kai and i are dancing to emeli sande's song shine. it is a gorgeous song and we--stop it kai!" melodie squealed as kai scared his celebrity partner as laughter erupted through the dance studio 

"can you believe that i still have to deal with this child?!" melodie squeals as kai hangs off of her shoulders as he giggles childishly whilst his partner is trying to stay serious 

"you love me, filan!" kai tries to win his partner over but, this time, it wasn't working, a death stare being fed back to the professional 

"do i, widdrington?" melodie responded back with a blank face as the cameramen teased the professional who looked truly devastated 

"damn, that hurt!" kai sighed as melodie burst out into laughter, hugging the professional 

"i'm only joking! of course, i love you kai!" melodie giggled as kai's face went from being sad and hurt to happy again as the two of them started laughing 

more clips of the two rehearsing were then shown as then a voiceover of melodie screaming in rehearsals was then shown as laughter followed afterwards. 

"--let's hope and pray that the dance gods don't let us mess up this showdance because jesus christ we need this to work!" melodie is then heard saying with giggles as the vt finally wrapped up

melodie and kai were in their positions for their showdance, just hoping that nothing that could go wrong was going to go wrong. 

and, nothing went wrong. the showdance was perfectly executed as melodie and kai celebrated, hugging each other in the such joy that two dances out of three were done to perfection. running over to tess for the judges' comments for a second time, the poor host was once again flabbergasted at how amazing that dance just was and how it seemed like melodie and kai were just soaring with their dances this final. as mentioned before, it was very clear that they were wanting to win tonight. 

"what a stunning showdance, shirley?" tess comments before gesturing over to shirley who now really had no clue what to say anymore 

"i thought your first dance had me flabbergasted but no, this one just accelerated it! this was a gorgeous showdance, melodie and kai. your connection was amazing, you were smiling, you were trustworthy with each other and the way you two were just having pure fun was just amazing to see. it was like i was watching two best friends just having the time of their lives together! i really loved it, i truly did. melodie, your extensions, your legs, and your hands were all spectacular and the lifts wow! you two have just blown me away since the beginning, congratulations!" shirley winks as melodie and kai smile, thanking the head judge 

craig smiled brightly, "this showdance was marvellous darling! your lifts were exceptional, your extensions were gorgeous, and your smile and pure joy with kai was heartwarming. and i am so glad we got to see it because seeing the way your smile lit up this whole stage was timeless and it's a moment that i am genuinely never going to forget when this year's show finishes. i am so proud of you melodie and i cannot wait for your judges' pick," craig smiles as he applauds melodie and kai who thank him, before looking at motsi for her comment 

"i'm completely stumped for words! that was so much fun and just radiated pure happiness! like, all i can feel from both of your dances so far is just happiness and energy! like, i wanted to get up on the stage and dance with you and kai! your connection was so strong and, your technique was flawless. well done you two, you are on a roll tonight!" motsi winked as melodie felt herself blush as she felt kai hug her tighter as they then turned to anton 

"what else can i say melodie? the other judges have said everything! this dance was per-fec-tion! it had everything that a showdance should have in it and you danced it beautifully! your lifts were effortless, i mean, everything in this dance was perfect from top to bottom, left to right, and side to side. well done darling, you were sensational!" anton winks as melodie smiles, thanking him again as kai does too 

tess smiles as she turns back to melodie and kai, "amazing comments, yet again, melodie and kai. however, like last time, we don't have enough time to talk about them so, go over to claudia with the judges' scores!" tess smiles as melodie and kai grab hands, running over to the safe box to get their second round of judges' scores 

"...the judges' scores are in...craig revel horwood..." 

"...10!" 

"motsi mabuse..." 

"...10!" 

"shirley ballas..." 

"...10!"

"anton du beke..." 

"...10!" anton smiled as the contestants and safe box all jumped up in cheers and applause for another one of melodie and kai's perfect scores 

"congratulations, melodie and kai, another perfect score! literally record-breaking this, i've at this point lost count of how many 40s these two have gotten throughout this competition," claudia laughs as melodie and kai nod their heads, yet again just as astounded as everyone else

once again, melodie and kai were ushered out to get changed into their outfits for the third and final dance, their judges' pick which was their couple's choice from the semi-final that melodie dedicated to her deceased parents. all the other contestants had since performed their third and final dance leaving just melodie and kai to perform their last dance. 

and out of nowhere, the show had suddenly gotten way too emotional from all the other couple's choices/judges' picks. however, it seemed as if melodie and kai were just about to make everyone even more emotional with their judges' pick. so, in anticipation of how her brother and westlife family were going to react, especially shane and maybe nicky and kian, melodie and kai watched their final vt package before their final dance on strictly come dancing for 2022. 

in this final vt, no one was laughing or messing around because they didn't want to fuck up this gorgeous, meaningful couple's choice that had been first performed in week five, a dance that was actually very emotional and important to melodie but to kai as well. for the reason being that he was absolutely honoured to get to be the one showing the entire country this new and vulnerable side to melodie that wasn't even shown when the dance was first performed and that no one has ever seen, not even if the few second clips in a strictly vt package before a dance. just like in week five, this couple's choice was showing the country the losses that melodie went through at seventeen and eighteen when she lost both of her parents from cancer, her mam mae the december before the pandemic started in 2019 and then ten months later, her father peter in the middle of the october 2020 lockdown.

the vt also went into the losses she went through back in 2009 when her uncles, nicky byrne and kian egan went through the deaths of their fathers' nikki sr and kevin. she was also opening up about the effect her older brother's westlife fame had on her when she was constantly told that all she'd be known as would be "westlife legend shane filan's sister" and how that was detrimental to her confidence and happiness. she was dancing to westlife's song 'too hard to say goodbye' that was released on their 2010 album, 'gravity'. so, for melodie, this was an important song that she was dancing to and an important last dance for her time in this competition. 

"...this last dance, which is a dance that the judges' have picked, is the most emotional i have ever been with anyone. and whilst i did already perform this dance for the first time in week 5, and whilst it would usually terrify me to be so open and honest with anyone let alone the entire country, i stupidly chickened out when i originally should have opened up about the importance and significance this dance has for me. i have waited way too long to do this and if i wait any longer, i'll never do it so, what better way to be vulnerable than getting a second chance to do the very dance that was supposed to be me at my most vulnerable with the dancer and person that i trust my whole life with?" melodie speaks in a voiceover over her doing a dance move from the contemporary couple's choice dance in rehearsals 

"back in december of 2019, i was told over the phone whilst studying in school back in ireland that our mam, who had been going through cancer for five years at this stage, wasn't doing well and that i was needing to leave school to come and visit the hospice she was living in. i would later find out that fifteen minutes before shane rang me that our mother had passed away in that very same hospice with the rest of my family, excluding me, all by her bedside and that it was a peaceful moment..." melodie's voiceover trails off as it continues

"...i was just a seventeen-year-old kid who was trying to get the rest of my school year done since i was a couple of months from graduating or a couple of months from finishing my second to last year of high school. after losing mam, i didn't think any year or anything could be worse because what's worse than losing one parent?" melodie paused as she giggled nervously as she took in a big deep breath so she wouldn't cry straight away 

"something worse than the death of one parent is the death of your second parent ten months later, also from cancer. in october of 2020, right in the heart of the pandemic and the lockdown, whilst staying with shane, his wife and their kids, my niece and nephews, we were watching a movie. and during the movie shane received a call at around 3 in the morning from the hospital in which our dad had recently been transferred to at the time..." melodie's voice faltered before she quickly grabbed control again and continued 

"...i could tell from the look on shane's face that he knew what the call was about and even though i didn't verbally confirm it, shane did, i still knew what it was that shane was confirming. he had gotten a call from our older brother peter, who had been staying at the hospital with our dad, informing us that dad had peacefully passed away at the hospital with him, our brother, and the hospital staff by his side. finding out our dad had died just ten months after our mam felt like something from a tv show or something that was only ever really seen in those crazy movie scenarios. i was eighteen when we lost our dad and i just keep on replaying the moment that we received that phone call..."

"...it was like december 2019 all over again, me getting shane's phone call at school about mam not being okay and that i was needing to leave school immediately. however, i wasn't at school and i wasn't being called by shane, shane was being called by our older brother and we were at his house just peacefully watching movies whilst my sister-in-law and niece and nephews were peacefully sleeping upstairs. when all of a sudden, the world gets pulled out from underneath us all over again as though we hadn't just tried to smooth it over less than ten months beforehand with the loss of our mam. hearing that news about my parents dying was like the days i found out that my uncles, nicky and kian had lost their dads. whilst i was young in 2009 when nicky and kian's fathers passed away, i was still upset because it truly hit me that i was never going to see them again and gave me the worst fear of the same thing happening to my parents. looking back at that moment, it overwhelms me with the thought that i could have potentially caused the loss of my parents because ten and eleven years later, it did happen to my family..."

"...knowing i'll never see my mam and dad again is the thing i hate the most because i never thought i'd have to spend the rest of my life remembering them as a memory from a photo or video rather than right in front of me..." melodie sniffled as she covered her face before she gave up control and started to finally cry before the clip ended and a different video of her, where she wasn't crying, started to play

"...getting to perform this dance a second time and having the rest of my westlife family there to watch it live just feels absolutely unreal. i mean, i've been so secretive about my couples' choice dance to nicky, kian and mark and their partners and kids, i even went as far as forcing them to not find that video of the original week 5 performance of it on youtube and to not watch it so they'd be completely surprised for saturday. because i know how much of an emotional moment it's going to be for them and i want it to be the same surprise for them as it was for shane when he first saw it live when he came to watch it. i also know how healing it'll be for them, especially nicky and kian even though it's been years since they lost their dad's..."

"...so, i wanted to make sure it stayed pure for them, hence why i didn't tell them and why i forced them to skip watching my week five dance . shane, gillian and their kids are genuinely the only people who know this dance and its ins and outs and, it made them bawl their eyes out when they saw it live. so, if got them to cry, it's for sure going to get mark, nicky, kian and their partners and children and maybe my fiancé to shed a tear or two and that's my goal, in all honesty!" melodie chuckled cheekily in a less emotional clip before more clips of the couples' choice rehearsals were shown as the very snippet of the video that melodie explained as shane, gillian (his wife) and his children, nicole, patrick and shane jr's first reaction to the couples' choice dance was shown 

"for my last ever dance on strictly come dancing, i will be dedicating it to my parents, peter and mae filan but also to nicky byrne's father nikki byrne sr and to kian egan's father, kevin egan. whilst they never got the opportunity to watch me perform on this show, i just know how much they would have loved it. and even though they've all passed, they're never forgotten and always missed!" melodie finishes off the vt with a heartfelt dedication to everyone who her family and extended have lost, including her uncles nicky and kian's fathers 

as soon as kai and melodie finished the dance, she basically took a breath in before starting to cry as she ran over to her brother and family. shane, as everyone bet on, had started crying from the moment the vt started playing, kian started crying the moment the song started and nicky not long after. so, when it came to who to hug first, melodie quickly had to decide, ultimately hugging her older brother first before pulling away and moving over to hug nicky and kian and then mark before hugging all of her nieces and nephews. 

after hugging one more person, her fiancé with kisses to her sister-in-law and her westlife uncle and aunties, melodie ran back over to kai and tess, kai grabbing a tight hold and squeezed his partner's hand as they got prepared for a final lot of judges' comments. 

"that was a gorgeous dance, you two but, before i start crying, which will be very ugly, we'll move straight on to our judges, shirley?" tess chuckles as she swiftly brings a finger under her eye as shirley smiles sweetly 

"oh, melodie, whilst this is our second time seeing this dance, this is what we've been wating for! all we've wanted after so many amazingly precise and perfectly choreographed dances, even seeing this dance five weeks ago, was your vulnerability. and i am so glad you were finally able to show us after being intimidated by it five weeks ago because watching this exact dance tonight in comparison to those five weeks ago was so much better. it was so much better because we were able to really understand the song choice behind the dance and the meaning of it for you. which in turn made this weeks version of it a million miles better and that much more gutwrenching when it was paired with that emotional videotape at the beginning to then be followed by it's beautiful dance. thank you for sharing this dance with us for a second time. clearly, there was a reason why we chose it as the judges' pick *giggles*. and i am sure kai's just as thankful for you opening up to him so you two could get this dance to the pure perfection that it was just then. you were utterly stunnning and if this dance isn't what gets you two that glitterball, well i'll be damned! perfection, you two, perfection!" shirley smiles with a cheeky wink as melodie tearfully giggles, her tears drying as kai consoles her as he sweetly smiles over at shirley before craig spoke up 

"i have no idea what to say because that was just exquisite, i mean, there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. i mean, all these other dances tonight, they've been so many mistakes made and tiny little things that should have been fixed weeks ago when it's the final. yet, every single dance that we've seen from you two, melodie and kai, have been just perfect! and watching this one again with the new vulnerability and backstory just broke my heart and that doesn't happen because i'm almost always heartless *laughter*. but watching you open yourself up to all of us and be so trusting of us to keep it safe just made my heart grow three sizes and then have it broken!" craig huffed as melodie giggled, kai was smiling as tess gestured to motsi who was slightly more emotional than shirley and craig 

"this dance was gorgeous, melodie! watching you dance it a second time with the added context was beautiful and it was gut-wrenching but it was beautiful and it was filled with hope. i don't have any words because not only did the others take mine away but, seeing you dance like that and be so vulnerable just took everything i could think about away. i mean, this is all we ever want to see a contestant do, we want them to open up to us and feel vulnerable and feel safe to do so and the fact it has taken this long honestly breaks my heart because it feels like we should have given you this opportunity earlier, not just in week five when you first gave us this dance. but, i am just utterly grateful to see this dance a second time now and be honoured in experiencing it for the first time, with the knowledge of what it means to you and why you were dancing it. just as shirley said, if this dance doesn't get you this goddamn glitterball, i'm going to throw my shoe and i'm being serious!" motsi ends her comment as everyone giggles, anton then collects himself as he had also gotten emotional before starting his comment 

"wow, i mean, that really made me emotional and took me out. and it's all i've ever wanted to see from you, melodie and i'm so glad we finally got to see it! watching you in that vt share all those things that you've possibly never told anyone let alone an entire country was the bravest thing i've ever seen you do in these thirteen weeks that we've gotten to know you. the way you both had so much control yet sensitivity to the topic and the song was breathtaking. i am so proud of you melodie and i know that your parents, peter and mae, as well as nikki sr and kevin, are as well! i'm just so sorry that they're not here to tell you in person!" anton's voice breaks as he calms himself down and melodie smiles sweetly before quickly running over to give him a hug in gratitude for his kind words 

tess smiled as she thanked the judges wordlessly for their comments as she explained that once again, she couldn't have melodie and kai talk about their thoughts on the comments and ushered them over to claudia and the showbox, where they were able to. 

claudia smiled as she spoke up, "what an incredibly emotional dance, half of our studio is still recovering *laughter* and frankly so am i! but, before we get to our judges' scores, melodie, you mentioned in your vt that whilst dedicating this dance to your parents, you also dedicated it to your brother's bandmates deceased fathers', nikki sr and kevin, why was that?" claudia questions as melodie smiles as she nods her head 

"the reason why i also dedicated this dance to nikki sr and kevin, especially nikki sr, was because nicky didn't get the chance to dedicate a dance to his own dad since he was eliminated during week ten of strictly come dancing 2012. so, getting the opportunity to dedicate my most emotional dance to nicky's dad as well as kian's was something that i thought was the right thing to do since nicky didn't get that moment when he did the show back in 2012 and because for kian, it only felt right to pay tribute to them together rather just only one of them," melodie smiled sweetly as that just about broke every single person's heart as the camera then zoomed down to the audience and on nicky's face as he heard melodie say that, his eyes still welling up with tears even after the performance as his wife, georgina, comforted him 

"oh, melodie, that is so very kind and sweet of you. i'm sure nicky and kian are going to appreciate hearing you say that. now that we are still all recovering here after hearing that laughter* let's get these judges' scores shall we?" claudia chuckles out as do melodie and kai as they hold hands tightly and wait as patiently as they can 

"...the judges' scores are in... craig revel horwood..."

"...10!" 

"motsi mabuse..." 

"...10!" 

"shirley ballas..." 

"...10!" 

"anton du beke..." 

"...10!" anton smiled as the showbox filled with cheers and applause for another perfect score for melodie and kai

"what an amazing score you two, all three of your dances tonight have been perfect scores! which, if you guys were counting, gives melodie and kai a goddamn world record because like i said earlier tonight, i have lost count of how many perfect scores they have received *laughter*. in all seriousness though, congratulations you two, that dance was spectacular and possibly one of the best final dances we've ever seen!" claudia spoke in utter shock as melodie and kai just nodded their heads, also in shock and emotion as well because, phew, forget about it if you didn't get emotional at that dance!

*

after waiting for what felt like years, it had finally come to the moment that was the be-all or end-all for the remaining three contestants left. melodie and kai stood closest to the right of the stage where her whole family sat and the other two couples were on their left side, which she felt good about because it meant she was right in the eye-line of her family and, if needed, she could focus her eyes on them if she could bring herself to do so and it would make her feel better. it all just seemed absolutely terrifying for melodie. sure, she had gone through twelve weeks, not including tonight, of strictly come dancing results but, it was still the first time she was on a competition show like this let alone in general.

holding kai's hand in a double lock on her own, she couldn't bear looking up to face anyone, not even her family like she thought she'd be able to do. comforting her as best as he could, kai only wished that he could do all he could to make melodie feel less scared. especially since she had just spent all these weeks so closed off, only revealing the tip of the iceberg and almost hidden away from everyone to straight away opening herself up and sharing her whole life with the world in a matter of moments during the final. he only wished he could have switched places with the young girl. however, he couldn't take her fear away or her nausea but what he could do was comfort her and take care of her like he's done the last thirteen weeks. as they painstakingly waited for the final results and who the hell was lifting that goddamn strictly glitterball trophy!

and finally, it was time to find out the winner of strictly come dancing 2022, "melodie & kai, molly & carlos and hamza & jowita, the votes have been counted and independently verified and we can now reveal the strictly come dancing champions are..." 

"...melodie and kai!!" tess and claudia announce as screams are unleashed from the stage and audience as melodie just doesn't react, kai shaking her to let her know that it was them that had won which proceeds to set off the sweetest reaction from the young girl who latches onto kai and doesn't let him go as they both start crying 

"also, massive congratulations to our wonderful runners-up, molly & carlos and hamza & jowita, come on over here darlings," tess says, hollering the other two couples over so melodie and kai could accept their trophy 

"melodie and kai, you are our winners, how does it feel?" tess questions as melodie basically shuts down and starts laughing as kai watches on fondly with a sweet smile as he tries to calm himself down 

"ummm...*laughter* it feels pretty neat?" melodie shyly chuckles as she then tries to rack her brain for something better than just pretty neat

gesturing to kai, tess smiles, "it feels amazing, i mean, i just got to say the biggest thank you to this sweet, loving, talented young lady that made my whole life's work come true. i mean, i've only been a pro on this show for two years since i came from being a professional on dancing with the stars ireland but, i've been wanting this moment to happen for my whole life. and, it's finally happened and it...it's all thanks to this lovely young lady right next to me! you are extraordinary, melodie!" kai had to stop for a second to catch his breath before continuing

"i mean, what a human being you are, right? you are something else and, i just love you, i really do so, i just gotta also say the biggest thank you to your lovely fiancé ollie for letting me steal you and ultimately trusting me in taking care of her *laughter*. she is so understanding, so funny and she's just the best team player so, big up on you for putting a ring on it before someone else could *laughter*..." kai trailed off before he could get any more emotional as melodie giggled softly before racking her brain with anything else to say 

with some encouragement from claudia, she finally found the words to say to explain how much kai and the entire experience meant to her, "...i...i just want to say, kai, you are so incredible and you always pushed me to be the person i always wanted myself to be, and you always had more belief in me than i sometimes even did! you already know what an amazing teacher you are but, i just feel like i haven't expressed to you enough what a great friend you are because, this entire journey *laughter* it was always you that was there for me when my family and friends weren't able to be and i can't thank you enough for what you've done these last thirteen weeks of my life..." just like kai had to, melodie paused for a second so she could catch her breath and continued

"...like, you're so amazing and i am so grateful i was gifted as having you as my dance partner and as a best friend. we've gone through so much in such a short amount of weeks and i just want you to know and remember that no matter what happens, no matter where we go in life and how long it's been since seeing each other, i hope you never forget that you'll always have a piece of my heart. and you'll always be the person me and my family remembers as the person who helped me get my joy and spark back..." melodie sobbed at the end as did kai as he swooped her up for a hug and softly thanked her as the studio showered the winners in applause and cheers

"congratulations..." 

"...we did it!" 

"yes, you did it! the glitterball trophy is yours! your strictly come dancing champions 2022...you can lift it up!" after some hesitations as to who was going to pick it up, melodie just went for it and lifted up the trophy whilst kai hugged from behind as sparkles flew and cheers were heard from probably a couple of countries over because of how loud everyone in the studios was 

melodie and kai celebrated as claudia and tess finished up the show, closing it out for one final time for the year. after once again, congratulating kai and melodie as the 2022 scd champions, westlife's world of our own played in the background as the winning couple danced together for one last final time as the other contestants stormed the stage. however, it couldn't have been a winning moment if the two winners weren't lifted up so, the contestants parted ways to let the filan and westlife families through to lift up the winners. 

then, when the show finally went off the air, shane, nicky and kian, who had been the three holding up melodie, let their sister and niece to the floor to then be picked right back up again by her fiancé as they celebrated together. the contestants and family go wild as the engaged couple kissed which made the couple giggle. then, people started to post on their social media about melodie and kai's amazing win when melodie decided to post one last weekly strictly come dancing update before announcing in that very same post that she and kai had indeed won the show! 

liked by bbcstrictly, shanefilanofficial, kianegan, markusmoments, olliestewart, nickybyrneinsta, nadiabychkova, amy_dowden, diannebuswell and 99k others

melodiefilan photo one & two : me and kai hardcore rehearsing for the final of strictly come dancing.

photo three : me and ollie recreating our old soft launch photo after his surprise homecoming from the military.

photo four : this is what i call my serious dancer face.

photo five : kai and i in action doing what we do best.

photo six : the photo we took with the glitterball before it was announced that it was ours!

yes, kai and i are the 2022 strictly come dancing champions! i am beyond happy that a girl who's mostly known for who her older brother is as well as her own singing career could even win a show like strictly. in time i'll post a more sentimental caption with more sentimental photos but this is all my emotions are allowing me to post right now before i burst out into tears again. i have loved every second of this experience and i am beyond grateful i was able to do it with kai. and i truly think i could live with being a latin & ballroom dancer for the rest of my life if i was allowed to 💃

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bbcstrictly still crying over this monumental win, not going to lie

melodiefilan bbcstrictly so am i guys, so am i

shanefilanofficial watching myself cry my eyes out and scream in happiness that whole evening will for sure become a meme at some point if it hasn't already 

melodiefilan shanefilanofficial that's who made me cry watching the episode back! in all seriousness though shay, your reactions were truly the sweetest, i love you! 

shanefilanofficial melodiefilan i love you too sweet girl! 

kianegan shane wasn't the only one crying the whole time, jesus! that's my entire river of tears gone for the rest of this year and maybe the next two! 

melodiefilan kianegan you say that now, uncle kian...

kianegan melodiefilan ssh, come on now melodie, don't call me out! 

markusmoments that moment your name was called out as the winner and seeing your reaction will always make me awe and make my heart go all warm and fuzzy 

melodieilan markusmoments i hope they post a gif of my reaction and then a gif of how you guys in the audience reacted! 

markusmoments melodiefilan oh my gosh they should! 

olliestewart oh i am so proud of you baby girl! watching you win that glitterball was truly everything i could have ever dreamt of! 

melodiefilan olliestewart i love you, babe! 

nickybyrneinsta this was the best night of my life, screw me losing strictly, this was even better!

melodiefilan nickybyrneinsta im DYING! SCREW LOSING STRICTLY, THIS WAS EVEN BETTER BAHAHA! 

nickybyrneinsta but in all seriousness, like kian said, i think all of my tears have been cried for the next few years! when you dedicated the couples' choice to nucal and kev as well as your own parents will always make me cry! 

melodiefilan nickybyrneinsta it was something i was always going to do, nico! 

nadiyabychkova i love you so much, melodie! and i'll miss you, you and kai so deserved that win! i was sobbing the whole time! 

melodiefilan nadiyabychkova i love you too nadiya, and i'll miss you more! and i saw you sobbing and i was wanting to run and give you a hug so badly but i couldn't get to you! 

amy_dowden omg watching you lift that glitterball was the most wholesome thing ever! i love you elodie!

melodiefilan amy_dowden i love you too amy! i'll miss seeing you every week omg! 

diannebuswell oh my gawd, watching you dance your couples' choice dance again was so emotional and then watching you win was too much for me! i'm so proud of you elodie! i miss you already!! 

melodiefilan diannebuswell i miss you too dianne! and i agree, rewatching that vt package before the dance was rough holy crap, shocked i didn't cry until the very end of the dance!

fin

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2026

[amberjazmyn]

you stayed (wyrbg alt. ending)

pairing : oc!willow egan x dad!kian egan & platonic!westlife

summary : whilst kian and jodi egan's eldest little girl always seemed to draw the short straw in her life, what if she actually survived and beat her cancer? what if she actually never died after the third westlife show during a week-long showing of westlife concerts? what if she made it to her tenth birthday and every other birthday after that? what if her short straws began to grow back healthy again in the same way she had? 

warnings : happy alternate ending, girl dad!kian, terminal illness, crying, flashbacks

a/n : since writing the original version of this for kian, i decided to write an alternate ending where willow egan doesn't die because i still can't believe i wrote about child loss and she actually survives and sees through what was thought to be the rest of the end of westlife in 2012 and then their reunion in 2019 as a teenager, even though in the original, i have the timeline as this being written during the reunion and as willow being younger than koa but i've decided to change it lol so, sorry! 

willow egan was eight-years-old when she was diagnosed with cancer. she already wasn't considered a "normal kid" because of who her parents, kian egan and jodi albert, are. however, the moment the young girl and her parents heard the news of the heartbreaking diagnosis, they knew exactly how the press and other kids willow's age would react. to the other kids and everyone else, not only did willow's parents and their fame make the girl weird but her new cancer diagnosis made her even weirder and as though she was an exhibit in a museum. 

when willow was nine-years-old when her dad and his bandmates were doing a week's worth of concerts to "make up" for the fact they had halted production on their recently announced new album. there was a moment, during the third westlife concert that everyone, including willow herself, thought that she wasn't going to make it through the day and wake up the next morning. but, she did wake up the next morning, she opened her eyes the next morning and cried out for her daddy. in a rage of emotions, georgina byrne, who is the wife of kian's bandmate nicky byrne, rang kian in a frenzy of her own emotions. 

thinking the worst, kian was mere seconds away from dropping everything at dublin's o2 arena until he heard the very voice he had thought, imagined, he would never hear again when he just stopped for a moment and took that as his chance to just breathe. his little girl was alive and she was okay. 

willow's pov | flashback to cancer diagnosis

i could tell my parents felt like the walls in the doctor's office were closing in on them. they, like me, never imagined to be getting this news after it was just supposed to be just another regular hospital trip for me, eight-year-old willow egan. 

whilst i wasn't in with my parents whilst my doctor, dr phelps, told them, i could still hear them since the hospital is never as soundproof as one thinks, "...mr egan? kian, did you hear what i just told you?" dr phelps questioned my dad, who until now had never really called him by his first name as dad responded after blinking a couple of times 

"no, sorry, what did you say? could you please repeat that?" it was obvious that dad was still so far away from dr phelps' office mentally, doing his best to not tune out a second time since it was important news that dr phelps was telling my parents 

"i was saying that, with willow's recent diagnosis of terminal cancer, she can still try chemotherapy and maybe a little bit of radiotherapy but we are not certain that it'll work in the way it usually would if we had seen it earlier..." 

ahh, yes, i could see the wheels in my dad's head start to turn as he realised what the conversation was about. his eldest and only daughter, me, had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer and were having a conversation about the roads of treatment for me and how successful they could be for a small eight-year-old who had many ailments before this new one. as i watched from the waiting room, i could tell that dad could feel a cry building in his throat, mum also feeling it as well, holding his hand tightly as i knew they both wished they were anywhere but in dr phelps' office at this moment. 

i watched as dad continued the conversation, "...ah, umm, so, theoretically speaking, if our daughter...willow, was to undergo a round or couple of chemotherapy and maybe radiotherapy, how long would you say we'd have her with us, realistically?" dad gulped as i watched the way he fiddled with the scrunched up tissue in his palm as he squeezed mum's hand with his other hand  

dr phelps paused before he continued, "now, mr egan, i really couldn't tell you because this is so new and so late in finding the cancer in willow's system that we truly have no idea how long it could potentially prolong her life but, once the chemo and radiotherapy do start, then we can start estimating things like that..." dr phelps responded as i could tell that dad felt his heart shatter, mum feeling like she was holding all of his heart and hers together, dad's face almost crumbling as he then turned away from the dr when he caught a glimpse of me, which i quickly turned my head to make it seem as though i was in conversation with my uncles nicky and shane, who had lovingly put their hands up to take care of me whilst uncle mark put his hand up to take care of my three younger brothers, koa, zekey and cobi 

hesitating to turn his head back around, he quickly did so before continuing on, making me turn to look back at my parents and dr phelps, "...she doesn't deserve this..." hearing my dad so heartbroken and his voice so croaky from his tears was not something i'd ever heard before as he brought his tissue up to cover his face, mum comforting him whilst dr phelps sighed solemnly 

"...no, she doesn't kian, no one her age does. she's so young but, unfortunately, these things happen and it's absolutely cruel but i promise, we'll do everything we can to make sure your little girl has the best chance of surviving and beating her cancer since she was so strong during all of her other surgeries and ailments," dr phelps was confident in the idea that once again, i was going to survive another diagnosis but heartbreakingly, i could tell mum and dad thought otherwise and it seemed as though, in my eyes, i too thought the same thing

as mum, dad and dr phelps continued to chat, i silently slipped my hands into both of uncle nicky and uncle shane's hands since i was sat in the middle of them. i was absolutely terrified and it didn't take a genius for uncle nicky and uncle shane to figure it out either and the looks we shared with each other weren't as helpful as we hoped they'd be. 

present time

as i remembered the day i was diagnosed, i remembered that i didn't cry like i had imagined myself i would have. because if you know my family well, most especially my dad as well as my uncle shane, we're literally the definition of crybabies. like to the point where it's been mentioned in interviews before that my dad is so emotional that he cries at the drop of a hat and that uncle shane is very similar that he is also a crier. so the fact i didn't cry after my cancer diagnosis is something i'm just realising years later at nearly nineteen years old and that's insane to me. completely insane because at eighteen, nearly nineteen, i'm still the crybaby that i was until my cancer diagnosis. 

right now, i was hanging out with my younger brother koa, we were literally just getting ready to head out for a surf since i could drive and had my own car and could drive us down since both mum and dad were at work, nan (dad's mum) taking care of the other two boys, zekey and cobi for the day. everything was completely fine and happy as koa and i got ready separately (obviously) but, as i was taking a little bit longer, koa had knocked on my door to check in on me. i was no longer fine and happy, as i slipped on my bikini and reached up to grab my wetsuit, i had caught a glimpse of my scar from my porthole where i would get my chemo put in. it was really the first time i had seen it since i had been named in remission and by every technicality, cancer-free. and i hadn't realised how traumatising and ugly the scar actually was until this moment when i actually took a moment to stop and look at it after actively avoiding my glance from it for so many years.

and i cried. 

i cried my eyes out nearly nine whole years after my initial diagnosis. 

i hadn't cried this much or this hard i don't think since i told aunty georgina, uncle nicky's wife, that i thought i was going to die during the third show of a week-long string of westlife shows. which were done in replacement for the album at the time that they had put on hold so they could take care of me for that period of time. and obviously, hearing koa knock on my door meant that he had heard me break down into tears. and usually, similar to dad and mum but especially dad, i'd usually try to hide it in front of my brothers but this time, i couldn't. not because i couldn't control my tears but because i needed to stop hiding my emotions from my younger brothers. 

after his knock, i heard his voice and it made me smile, "...you okay willow?" he asked as i tearfully giggled, wiping my hand underneath my nose 

"you can come in if that's what you're asking koa, my door's unlocked," i tearfully chuckled as i turned away slightly from the door and looked back at myself in my full-length mirror 

i then heard my door slightly creek open as koa walked in, he then noticed me in the mirror and his face fell as he saw my tear-stained face. immediately, he rushed over and pulled me in for a hug as he quickly noticed what it was that i was staring at in my reflection. 

and then, the next thing he said was the utmost sweetest thing in the world and made me cry even more, "don't let that scar upset you anymore because it's the reason why i even have the ability to hug my older sister every day! you may think it's ugly but i see it as the reason why you're still alive and why i can still have my older sister with me! if it's making you so upset to look at it in your bikini, which i think you look great in by the way willow, we don't have to go surfing today if it's making you feel a bit icky to do so. we could just instead go for a walk along the beach and go surfing over the weekend with mum, dad, zekey and cobi?" koa sincerely asked as he didn't let me go out of his hug as i smiled, shocked at how this little kid, my little brother was so emotionally intelligent 

pulling back out of the hug, tears still streaming down my cheeks but for happier reasons this time, i nodded my head, "that sounds perfect, koa, thank you, little man! you are such a sweetheart and i love you so much, buddy. of course, we can go for a walk on the beach and then go surfing with mum, dad, zekey and cobi over the weekend. i'll just throw some clothes over the top of my bikini and then we can hit the road, that sounds okay koa?" i asked after thanking my brother as he nodded his head, swiftly leaving my room without another question as i then threw on a pair of linen pants and a halter crochet top before grabbing my phone

meeting koa downstairs as he handed my a pair of flip flops, my car keys and handbag, we said farewell to our nan and our two younger brothers and we got into my car and drove down to the beach. 

flashback | willow's pov

it was the third show. the third show of the week-long shows that westlife was performing when i thought i'd be not waking up the next day. it was during the day that aunty georgina was looking after me when i genuinely thought my life support machine was going to go awol and that i wasn't going to wake up the next morning. i was absolutely terrified to close my eyes, worried that if i did, i wouldn't wake up tomorrow. suddenly remembering all the other times i was tired and knowing that i'd wake up the next morning, however, more recently, falling asleep and just closing my eyes has been scary for me. 

shaking with worry, i reached over to grab aunty georgina's hand which she immediately grabbed, "what's wrong, love?" she asked without hesitation as i tried to calm down as best as i could

"i...i'm so scared to fall asleep, gina. what...what if i don't wake up tomorrow morning?" i whispered fearfully as georgina softened as she held my hand, squeezing it tightly 

"oh, darling. don't be scared, i'll stay here, awake with you all night and make sure nothing bad happens to you throughout the night. you are safe sweetpea! aunt georgina's got you!" she whispered as i nodded my head but still didn't want to close my eyes 

however, with some more encouragement from aunty georgina, and my favourite westlife album, we managed to get me to close my eyes and fall asleep. just hoping, praying, that i was going to be able to open my eyes the next morning. 

and i did. i opened my eyes the next morning. 

and i cried out for my dad, even though i knew he wasn't here. 

and in a rush of her own emotions, aunty georgina rushed to grab her phone and ring him. 

and i just knew he was ready to drop everything, thinking the worst, and to leave dublin's o2 arena when he heard the one voice i think he also thought, imagined, he wouldn't hear again.

i was still alive. 

present time | 2022 

finally, after what felt like forever, and the hell that was the coronavirus pandemic and constant lockdowns, concerts were finally safe enough again to do at full capacity again. so, here the entire westlife family were at the aviva stadium in dublin and it was an emotional moment, that's for sure. and it wasn't just because we were finally able to have tours and concerts again, but because i was eighteen, an age that no one thought i'd be able to reach because of the cancer that i was now in complete remission from and it was actually the anniversary in which i was first diagnosed back when i was eight years old and i was now eighteen. so, i just knew that at some point in the show, most likely just before or during you raise me up dad was going to talk about it and get very emotional over it which would then get me emotional over it all over again. 

and, who would've thought, i was correct? however, i did not think it would have him inviting me up on stage before you raise me up but, in all honesty, i didn't care. i grew up with the westlife fans so i wasn't uncomfortable onstage so, i went with it. 

smiling, i walked on stage and over to my dad, standing in the middle of him and uncle nicky. getting smooshed into a westlife sandwich has honestly always been my favourite thing about having my dad as one of the members. even at the age of eighteen, i still enjoyed all the hugs the same way i did when i was a little kid. 

dad then grabbed my hand and grabbed the attention of the entire audience, still shocking me at how easily he and my westlife uncles could control the audience as he then introduced his speech before the next song. 

"hey dublin, how are we feeling tonight, alright?!" dad shouted, the same introduction for every single one of his speeches at a westlife concert, making me giggle as the crowd cheered at his question 

giving me a smile, he then continues with his next introduction about me, "so, as everyone possibly already knows, this is my eldest child and my only daughter, willow who is eighteen years old..." he trails off as shock ripples through the crowd which makes us all laugh, including me because i truly also sometimes forgot that i was also eighteen 

"...i know, it's crazy to say i have an eighteen-year-old too so, don't worry, it's just as shocking for me as it is for you guys! but umm, that's not the reason why i invited her on stage, the reason i invited willow on the stage with us tonight is that, on this very day when she was eight years old, we were told that willow had cancer..." he trailed off as i smiled softly and squeezed his hand tighter as he smiled back, uncle nicky, uncle shane and uncle mark all squeezing close by as well 

taking a deep breath, dad continued, "...and for a while, we didn't think willow would make it through the week-long shows we had done during that time period after she had turned nine because, during this time, it seemed as though willow's chemo was not effective anymore. it was during the third show of this week-long period that she thought she wasn't going to wake up the next morning. i remember because we were here, in dublin, but at the o2 arena and i got a phone call from georgina, nicky's wife. and immediately, i thought she'd be on the other end in absolute hysterics telling me that willow had died but, she hadn't. she had rung me up because willow had woken up and had cried out for me. hearing my daughter's voice that day, just as i was ready to drop everything and leave dublin's o2 arena for my daughter, to then hear that she was okay and she was alive was all i needed to know that she was getting better and maybe, just maybe, she'd recover and be okay again..." dad once again trailed off as it started to get way too emotional as i smiled, feeling slightly embarrassed as the crowd stayed in pure silence, which is probably why i felt a little bit uncomfortable at the same time since they are usually never, the westlife fans, this quiet 

"...so, for this next song, if we're throwing out some dedications which we always do, even if we don't necessarily say them, i want to dedicate this next song to willow and the rest of our children, this is you raise me up please sing it if you know it, dublin!" dad finished introducing and he only had a couple of tears streaming down his cheeks as we had a group hug before the song started 

i stayed on stage during the whole performance of you raise me up and it felt magical looking at all the flashlights shining brightly as they swayed side-to-side from my vantage point on the stage. having the privilege to even be alive and be in complete remission from my cancer 

then, during the instrumental part of the song, dad raised his microphone to his mouth and spoke up again, revealing some news that we had only just found out this very morning to the point that i don't even think he had told shane, nicky and mark. 

dad smiled brightly as he got everyone's attention and he announced the news, "...this morning, we found out the best news in regards to willow and her cancer. we got told this morning that she is finally in complete remission and has been said that she is cancer-free!" he smiled tearfully as i turned to see how shane, nicky and mark reacted and it made me teary-eyed 

giving me the answer that this was the first time they had been told us well, nicky, shane and mark rushed over and pulled us in for a group hug where i started to happy cry. in pure joy that i was healthy again, my cancer is finally gone and i didn't have to be constantly in the hospital anymore. 

the band then finished the rest of the song, singing it directly towards me as we then all rushed off so they could do their quick change before their encore. 

*

the show had finally finished and as we relaxed and enjoyed each other's company, i got a notification saying that dad had posted to his instagram and i just knew instantly what it was he had posted about. he had been saying all day that he had wanted to also make an instagram post, announcing that i was officially in complete remission and cancer-free so, he did. 

liked by willowegan, jodialbert, markusmoments, rokeating, caileano and 99k others

kianegan when willow was eight-years-old, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer with the uncertainty of surviving. however, all these years later and i have an almost nineteen year old who i got to see reach all of her special milestones, like her tenth birthday, her high school graduation, her eighteenth and soon her nineteenth. she also got to see all of her brother's birthdays, all of their births and will be healthy enough to watch them grow up even more and watch them reach their special milestones. my daughter stayed and it is with the biggest joy to say that willow is in complete remission and cancer-free!

i love you so much, willow, and if i had to watch you go through cancer all over again, i would do it because it reminded me of truly how special and irreplaceable you are. you were me and mummy's first baby and our first daughter, you know we would do everything and anything to make sure you were your happiest, your healthiest and your best. and i truly do believe that this next season in your life, with you cancer-free and no longer have to be in hospitals constantly, you'll be truly successful in every single thing you wish to do with your life! you are such a strong girl and even though you always say me, mum, koa, zekey and cobi are the reason why you stayed, i truly believe that it was you that made yourself stay and gave you that strength to push through. dad loves you willow, thank you for staying 🤍

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willowegan i love you so much, daddy! i am truly so grateful to be cancer-free! and don't thank me for staying, of course i'd stay 🤍

kianegan willowegan i love you more baby girl and i know you're grateful and so am i 🤍

jodialbert these photos of our little girl! i cannot believe she's nearly nineteen 🤍

kianegan jodialbert i know right? it makes me feel so old, like, we nearly have a nineteen-year-old! 

markusmoments i swear to god, we need to stop telling each other things for the first time on stages! last time that happened, i told you all that layla was a girl! but, in all seriousness, it brings me so much happiness that willow is cancer-free! 

kianegan markusmoments lol, we really do! and it brings me so much happiness as well, getting that phone call from dr phelps was like a dream come true! 

rokeating wow, willow is finally cancer-free! i'm in tears, i cannot believe it! such good news to be heard after all the negativity in the news lately 🤍

kianegan rokeating i know! and trust me, i was crying my eyes out writing this and i still struggle to believe it and i'm glad to be the bearer of happy news after all the negative news 🤍

caileano best news ever, kian! hearing that willow's cancer-free was truly the highlight of the entire evening! 

kianegan caileano i agree! i had moments where i just wanted to scream it out way earlier in the show but i knew i couldn't! 

georginaahernbyrne this is great news kian and jodi! i'm so glad that willow is finally cancer-free! it seems as though that time from eight years old to eighteen/nineteen has been a whirlwind but also somewhat of a fever dream! 

kianegan georginaahernbyrne i know! so am i, it's been a long, windy road but, i'm glad we've finally reached the end of it! 

liked by kianegan, shanefilanofficial, nickybyrneinsta, gillianfilansligo, stormykeating, nicolefilan and 99k others

willowegan life since being cancer-free 🤍

*

being a survivor of childhood cancer, amongst other things throughout my life, i knew i wanted to fight this big bad the moment i was told i had the "big c". since entering complete remission and being labelled as cancer-free, i've graduated high school, i've travelled back and forth between the uk and ireland, i've turned eighteen, i've gone on nights out with my parents and westlife uncles and aunties, i've gone to concerts with my cousins and i've surfed.

i've been able to live my life in ways that i hadn't been able to do in years and i didn't have to worry about the scars, i didn't have to worry about being tired, i didn't have to worry about the fear of simply closing my eyes and not being able to open them the next morning. i've been able to take care of and hang out with my three brothers, koa, zekey and cobi, i've seen them grow up from when they were born to their handsome selves now. when i was battling cancer, i couldn't do the things i can do now, i couldn't surf, i couldn't drink (i mean, that was because i was underage the majority of the time), i couldn't go to physical school and had to do it online when i wasn't violently ill, i couldn't travel back and forth between the uk and ireland, i couldn't have an extravagant ninth birthday or tenth for that matter, and i couldn't go to concerts with my westlife cousins.

when i had cancer, i was constantly riddled with the fear and anxiety of not being able to live another day because of how tired and exhausted i was. having to watch and hear your parents, but most especially your dad, cry and not being able to help them other than offer a hand or a soft smile for comfort was soul-destroying. the number of times i watched my dad cry as he sat in the same hospital chair over and over again just to make sure i was still breathing through the night is no longer countable since he had done it so many times. the number of times i had to watch my uncles and aunties cry as they also sat and watched to make sure i was still alive throughout the day is immeasurable. thankfully, i didn't have to see my brothers or cousins cry a lot but, on the same token, it makes me feel sick to think about the times that they did cry and i wasn't there to tell them that everything was going to be okay. but now, whenever they do cry or they are upset, i can be there for them straight away because i stayed alive and i didn't let myself leave my family without me. because i couldn't do that to them, no way. 

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kianegan i love you, more than words can describe willow! you strong, brave girl! 

willowegan kianegan i love you most daddy! and i'm only strong because of you and mum

shanefilanofficial crying my eyes out reading this! 

willowegan shanefilanofficial i cried writing this, believe it or not! 

nickybyrneinsta hearing your dad announce on stage that you're finally cancer-free after completing complete remission is the best news to hear! 

willowegan nickybyrneinsta i genuinely had no idea that he hadn't told you guys yet! so seeing how you three all reacted made me cry! 

gillianfilansligo i'm still screaming over the news that you're finally cancer-free! 

willowegan gillianfilansligo so am i aunty gillian! it's the best feeling ever! 

stormykeating i am so beyond relieved that you are cancer-free, sweet willow! i remember when i first met you when you were just a little baby and now you're a glowing eighteen-year-old 

willowegan stormykeating aw, thank you stormy! i am relieved too and thank you again! 

nicolefilan i'm literally bawling my eyes out! i'm so glad you're cancer-free willow! 

willowegan nicolefilan so am i! i cannot believe it sometimes! 

fin

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2026

[amberjazmyn]

whenever you're ready, baby girl

pairing : oc!willow egan x dad!kian egan & platonic!westlife

summary : kian's little girl always seemed to draw the short straw in her short life. first, she was born way earlier than she was meant to be, had what seemed like hundreds of surgeries and hospital stays and was then diagnosed with terminal cancer that shortened her life which was always uncertain from the beginning. 

warnings : sadness, girl dad!kian, child loss, terminal illness, crying, just genuinely upsetting, surrender by natalie taylor if that even counts as a warning 

a/n : this was a one-shot that i wrote way back when in 2020 when covid-19 was really scary and a big bad wolf and it feels both so strange but amazing to rewrite it years later to see the difference in writing skills and improvements. and apologies are in order for how depressing it is. i did consider changing willow's age since i don't really write about a lot of young children passing away. but, i decided to keep it as is because i think it makes the story more impactful because it's not just "old" people that die of terminal illnesses like cancer. but, anyway, i hope in some way you enjoyed reading this as whilst it is sad, i did enjoy rewriting this. also, i'm aware that mark and cailean were not dating during the last couple of years before westlife's 7-year hiatus but, pretend he was mkay?

being diagnosed with cancer or really any illness at any age was a nightmare and indeed the worst thing that could happen to a family. however, for nine-year-old willow egan, daughter of westlife's kian egan and hollyoaks actress and wonderland's jodi albert, it was even more nightmarish since everything about her illness and cancer diagnosis was posted on nearly every social media site and magazine. all because of how high profile her parents are and how famous that then made her and her brothers. in saying that though, it didn't really bother the young nine-year-old too much because at the end of the day, she was able to share her experiences with her specific cancer and give those young people who were also dealing with the same thing that they had someone else their age who understood what they were going through and that ultimately, they weren't alone in their fight with cancer. 

however, there did come a stage where willow could feel herself start to give up and, it seemed as though everyone in her family and extended westlife family could also see it happening, which terrified them. 

we let the waters rise, we drifted to survive. 

by the minute, willow was getting weaker and the cancer was getting so much stronger to the point where she felt like she was merely drifting, treading through the water to survive the day let alone the next one. not only was this having a weighing effect on willow, but it was also having the same effect on her parents, kian and jodi, her three brothers, koa, zekey and cobi as well as the extended westlife family who she called her uncles, aunties and cousins. going through this with willow was starting to weigh everyone down. not because the girl was a burden, but because they knew she was getting weaker as the days went by and were getting ready to let go.

one year ago

it felt like all the walls in the doctor's office were closing in on kian and his wife jodi. they never imagined they'd be getting this news after another regular hospital trip for their second child, eight-year-old willow egan. 

"...mr egan? kian, did you hear what i just told you?" willow's doctor, dr phelps questioned, kian blinked a couple of times before responding 

"no, sorry, what did you say? could you please repeat that?" kian still sounded like he was so far away from dr phelps' office but did his best to not tune out this time since it seemed as though it was quite important what he was telling him and jodi

 "i was saying that, with willow's recent diagnosis of terminal cancer, she can still try chemotherapy and maybe a little bit of radiotherapy but we are not certain that it'll work in the way it usually would if we had seen it earlier..."

 ahh, yes, that's what the conversation was about, his second eldest and only daughter had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer and they were talking about roads of treatment and how successful they could potentially be for a tiny little eight-year-old. kian could feel a sob building in his throat and it seemed like his wife could feel it too, holding her husband's hand tightly, she just wished they were anywhere but in dr phelps' office right now. 

"...ah, umm, so, theoretically speaking, if our daughter...willow, was to undergo a round or couple of chemotherapy and maybe radiotherapy, how long would you say we'd have her with us, realistically?" kian gulped as he fiddled with the scrunched up tissue in his palm as he squeezed jodi's hand with the other one 

"now, mr egan, i really couldn't tell you because this is so new and so late in finding the cancer, we truly have no idea how long it could potentially prolong her life. but, once the chemo and radiotherapy do start, then we can start estimating things like that..." dr phelps responded as kian felt his heart shatter, jodi feeling like she was holding it all together

kian's face almost crumbling as he then turned away from the dr when he caught a glimpse of his precious baby girl. who sitting ever so peacefully in the waiting room with her uncles nicky and shane, who lovingly put their hands up to take care of her. uncle mark putting his hand up to take care of her three brothers, koa, zekey and cobi 

"...she doesn't deserve this..." kian croaked out, bringing his tissue up to cover his face as jodi comforted her husband whilst dr phelps sighed solemnly 

"...no, she doesn't kian, no one her age does. she's so young but, unfortunately, these things happen and it's absolutely cruel. but i promise, we'll do everything we can to make sure your little girl has the best chance of surviving and beating her cancer since she was so strong during all of her other surgeries and ailments," dr phelps was confident in the idea that once again, little willow was going to survive another diagnosis but, heartbreakingly, kian and jodi thought otherwise and it seemed as though, in willow's eyes, she too thought the same thing

willow's pov

i lay in my hospital bed, with a smile on my face as i saw my mam, dad and three brothers open the door to let my three westlife uncles into the room and then left me alone to spend time with them whilst they went to get lunch. usually, it would only be two, maybe one, allowed in my room, but by an exception rule, i was allowed to have more than just one or two in my room at once. 

"hey will," uncle nicky smiled, closing the door behind him since he was the last one to file into the room 

"hey, uncle nico!" i smiled as i then gave him a hug since i had already given uncle shane and uncle mark a hug beforehand 

my smile then quickly disappeared as i caught a glimpse of my dad looking as though he was crying but trying to be discrete about it from the window behind uncle nico's shoulder. even though he was supposed to be getting lunch with mam, koa, zekey and cobi. it seemed like uncle nico, uncle shane and uncle mark all noticed it even though i also tried to be discrete about it. 

"why are you suddenly so upset, will? you were just smiling a second ago, what's up chickadee?" uncle shane spoke up as he got himself comfortable on my bed, immediately grabbing my hand to hold - not for my comfort but for his even though it did make me feel ten times better 

"dad's crying, uncle shay, but he's trying to hide it even though he's supposed to be getting lunch with mam and the boys. why won't he cry in front of me or when he thinks i can't see it? i just wish he'd be more vulnerable with me because i always tell him when i'm sad or when i'm scared...so why won't he?" i sighed as all three uncles, nico, shay and mark gave me empathetic smiles as uncle shay takes a big breath in, mark and nico letting shay explain 

"well, my little chickadee, it's slightly complicated because, whilst your daddy has always been an emotional person like i am when it comes to you, koa, zekey and cobi, he doesn't tend to cry in front of you four for a reason. he knows that if you see him cry that it'll either worry you or question him why he's crying. he doesn't want you to worry about why he's crying because sometimes, he's just crying because of how much he really loves you guys..." uncle shay trailed off as he caressed my hand comfortingly as i nodded my head, feeling somewhat better

"...he also wishes that if he could, he would switch places with you and have him be in this bed but, marky, nico and i always tell him that that would have been even worse. we all wish that you didn't have to deal with this, you always seemed to be given the short straws in life. but, we are all so glad that we still get to have you with us at this very moment, right now. because right now is what's important, okay? not tomorrow, not yesterday, not next week or the next week, today, right now. okay, you understand?" uncle shay explained as i smiled softly and nodded my head as i then smiled at uncle nico and uncle mark to reassure them

a knock at my door then got everyone's attention as my day nurse walked in. letting me know that i was being given another dose of treatment, even though i knew it wasn't really don't anything to help me as it used to when i first started it a year ago. 

i needed you to stay, but i let you drift away

when eight-year-old willow was first diagnosed, although she needed everyone to stay, she began to drift away from her parents, her brothers, uncles and aunties and even her cousins. although she didn't want to, she was doing it because she didn't want her family to see her like they were going to. so, before it was to start happening, she made sure to have everyone stay away from her. except, even though she thought it worked, it really didn't work, even though willow resisted at times. 

willow's pov 

having to hide my treatment from my brothers and cousins for the first couple of months was probably the hardest thing ever. anytime they tried to come into my room to spend time with me, i'd push them away and tell them that i was tired or that i was feeling sick and couldn't spend time with them. which, in all fairness to me, wasn't always a lie since i do have cancer and that makes you feel ill. but, when i did start my chemo treatments, i was beginning to feel a lot better that i could realistically deal with hanging out and chatting with my cousins rather than entirely and selfishly shutting them out. however, there just came to a point where i couldn't hide the treatments any longer.

and, one day when it was me giving myself doses of chemo, my brother koa and my cousin gia had run into my room to try and visit me. before gia screamed, causing a whole frenzy and literal cavalier of parents, uncles and nurses to rush into my room as though something was wrong with me. but, to be fair, i couldn't blame nor be mad at gia since i don't think any of my cousins or brothers were told that some days, i would be giving myself solo dosages if my regular day nurses weren't available to do it for me. and since it was the first time they had seen me do it, let alone at all and had no idea i was even getting treatment, i understood gia and koa's fear because i myself wanted to scream when i was told that i'd have to learn to do my own dosages as well. 

"...gia! willow! is everything okay? why did you scream gia?!" uncle nicky suddenly barges in, the rest of the cavalier behind him

only for them to see that i was calmly doing my chemo dosages, calming him down only to turn around and see koa and gia hugging each other. the both of them cramped near one of my chest of drawers in the far corner of my hospital room in distress.

the moment uncle nicky, dad, uncle shane, uncle mark and mum saw that, it seemed like their hearts all individually broke. then immediately, koa saw dad and bolted over to him after giving gia a sweet kiss on her head of hair before she ran over to her dad as well. watching it all go down made me feel like i was in trouble since i should have realised that gia and koa were going to come in and that i should have waited until after they had left to do my chemo doses, not whilst they were walking in. 

uncle mark seemed to notice this and immediately took action whilst mam and dad calmed down a sobbing koa and whilst uncle nicky and uncle shane calmed down a sobbing gia, "oh, baby. willow, come here sweetheart!" uncle mark whispered as he held me as tightly as he could whilst not messing up my ivs and drips that i had attached to me whilst receiving chemo 

"is...is this all my fault uncle mark? why koa and gia are crying?" i whispered, too scared to speak any louder just in case i would get in trouble as uncle mark's face nearly collapsed as he shook his head, his eyes sincere 

"absolutely not baby! it is not your fault at all! whilst you knew that your brother and cousin were coming in to visit you, you didn't know when which was for sure not your fault at all! and it wasn't koa and gia's fault either, they weren't even told that you were taking treatments or that some days you'd be doing it yourself. so don't put that blame on yourself, you don't need that extra baggage, babe. you are not in trouble at all," uncle mark insisted as i nodded my head, wholeheartedly believing him as he hugged me again as i smiled softly 

however, once koa and gia had been comforted to the point where they were able to compose themselves and were able to hang out and talk and be kids, they were quickly ushered out. along with uncle shane, uncle mark and uncle nicky when my nurse and my parents looked devastated. as if they had some news they needed to tell me that was going to most definitely be sad but, to me, the news seemed obvious so it confused me why mum and dad looked so upset. 

my nurse then started to explain the news in more detail to mam and dad but because i had already overheard this news and already kind of seen it coming, i tuned out. only tuning back in when dad broke down in tears, apologising to the nurse, mum and me before walking out of my hospital room. 

"...i...i am so sorry..." dad sobbed out as he then abruptly left, running down the hallway of the hospital floor as i tuned back in and was confused as i saw the way the family outside reacted, uncle nico giving gia to uncle mark and then ran after dad 

"...willow, sweetpea, did you hear anything that the nurse just said?" mam then spoke up as i slowly shook my head no as she took a breath in before smiling, slightly brushing my hair 

"n...no, why? did i do something wrong, mam? where...where's daddy going? i...i need him, mummy..." i trailed off as fear engulfed me as mum hugged me before letting go and explaining to me what my nurse had said before dad ran off 

"...oh, baby, no, you haven't done anything wrong...it's just, your nurse was explaining to us that the chemo isn't working anymore, you know that right?" mum trembled, her hands resting on my shoulders as i was worried for less than a second before realising that it had been mentioned to me before even though i did have a sense it stopped as i nodded my head 

"yeah...yeah, of course, i know that it was mentioned to me before," i smiled, obviously not understanding properly as mum gasped out a small cry, stopping herself from fully crying as i looked at her in confusion 

"do you understand what that means, willow?" mum looked at me with a sad questioning look, it took me some time to process it but i slowly nodded my head 

"yeah...yeah, it means that it's no longer effectively treating my cancer..." wait, the chemo is no longer effectively treating my cancer... does that mean i'm going to die before i turn ten? 

"...wait, umm, nurse, could you...could you please go and find my dad? don't worry about me, i have mum staying with me, thanks..." i was trying to comprehend all of this news and it was difficult yet this hospital and these four walls have been basically my whole life and especially considering this chemo hasn't been effectively working for ages and only now i've fully realised it? 

"...of course willow. as soon as i find your dad, i'll invite him in," the nurse smiled and left with nothing more as i smiled back at her as i watched her leave 

"thanks..." i breathed out as she left to find dad as it was now just mum and me as she then spoke up 

"babe, why'd you send the nurse out to find dad?" that was all it took for me to collapse in her arms as i started to panic 

"oh, babe, what's wrong?" she reacted, rubbing my back as she hugged me as tightly as she physically could as i slowly started to feel better 

"i...i'm scared mummy, i...i don't want to die," i sobbed out as mum hugged me again and rubbed my back before pulling away, her hands on my shoulders 

"darling, you are not going to die. you are going to be absolutely fine. we've only been told the results of the chemo treatments, we also have you in radiotherapy and still haven't been given the results about how that's going. so, who knows, maybe whilst the chemo isn't working, the radiotherapy might be and that's why it could be affecting the chemo results? don't always look on the negative side sweetheart," mum smiled softly, rubbing my shoulders as i nodded my head because mum did have a point - we still hadn't been given my radiotherapy results yet

however, in the split second of being comforted by my mum and feeling wide awake, i suddenly felt limp and grew tired, falling forwards into mum's grip, and in a state of pure quick thinking and keeping calm and collected, mum hit the emergency button which immediately pages one of my nurses to my room. 

"mummy...i...i'm tired...i'm...i'm so tired..." i mumbled out sleepily as i felt mum's breathing quicken as she held me after her hand released the emergency button as i weakly smiled 

"--nurses to room 452, cancer patient, nurses to room 452, cancer patient..." was heard over the loudspeakers through the hospital floor which i could tell would freak out the rest of my family since they all were aware of my room number 

suddenly, doctors and nurses swarmed my room, immediately removing my mum's grip from me as they laid me back down properly on my bed. the last thing i remembered hearing was the nurse screaming, "everyone get out now!" 

my love, where are you? my love, where are you?

thankfully, the real reason why willow was tired wasn't that she was about to die, it was just simply because of the chemo dosage. she had accidentally given herself a little too much than she was supposed to and it was suspected that it happened when the koa, gia panic situation happened. which, at first worried everyone but, it was quickly levelled properly and willow was fine again. she was now in a deep sleep and in a place of everything being at the levels they were supposed to be. however, willow could tell that her dad was resting next to his daughter and silently crying whilst uncle nico tried to calm him down as jodi took care of the kids. 

willow's pov

thankfully, after the scare i had with my chemo dosage, i woke up around four-ish hours later but, i was keeping my eyes closed, simply resting them whilst dad cried into my hand that i had laid at my side as he caressed it whilst uncle nico sat next to him and comforted him. even though i was resting my eyes and somewhat awake, i could hear him whisper. 

"come on baby, where's all your energy gone? you've never been this tired before, what happened?" he whispered into my hand as i heard him cry as i could feel uncle nico try to comfort him 

"it's not gone completely kino, she's just storing it all before using it when she's got it all. she's still your daughter," uncle nico whispered to my dad as i smiled, he was right, i hadn't gone anywhere 

"where is my little girl, will? open your eyes babe, it's been four hours! what's better up there to be your reason to not open your eyes? come on darling, i wanna see your blue eyes!" dad started to sob and it broke my heart, now i understood why he always ran away from me when he started to cry as my eyes started to flutter open, uncle nico nudging dad to look up from my hands 

"d...daddy," i mumbled as i slowly sat myself up, uncle nico nudging dad to look up, when he did he smiled small 

"willow...are you okay? is something hurting? are you hungry? do you..." 

"...daddy, i'm fine, calm down, please. i'm just tired but, nothing that a splash of water to the face and some food can't fix. i promise i am okay and, to answer your question even if it was rhetorical, my energy hasn't completely disappeared, it's just halfway and i'm wanting it to be full before i start using it. and your little girl hasn't gone anywhere, i'm still here daddy," i smiled as i combed my fingers through his hair as he smiled, it slowly started to reach his eyes as tears welled in his eyes 

"i'm never leaving daddy..." 

whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready

willow was slowly starting to deteriorate and it was painful, not in a physical sense but in a mental sense. okay, maybe it physically hurt a little bit but, the girl never said anything because she didn't want to hear her nurses and doctors talking anymore or giving her more harmful drugs in her system. however, willow's hospice carer, dr phelps realised what was going on and told her current guests, cousins, nicole and rocco to leave so dr phelps could talk to willow in private. 

willow's pov 

dr phelps knew something was up, he knew i was in pain, physically and mentally. however, this was the first time in a while that he has questioned me about it. 

closing the door on my cousins, nicole and rocco, he sat down and gave me a raised eyebrow, "okay, come on now small one, tell me what's up? there's something going on that you're not telling the rest of your family so, tell me, what's going on?" dr phelps tilted his head to look at me, i had never felt this weak or small in my entire life as i huffed 

"nothing, dr phelps, i'm fine," i lied, again, yeah, this was something i had been doing this past month, especially considering i basically only had this month left before i drop dead anyway so, might as well lie right? which, when you remember the fact i'm nine years old and i'm saying this, is quite sad 

"no, you're not willow. i've been by your side for the entire year and a half that you've gone through this. this is the exact opposite of how you acted, so what's wrong? you know if you don't or can't tell your parents or uncles and aunties, you can and have to tell me, so, spill, what is going through that little undeveloped head of yours?" although i really didn't want to laugh, dr phelps did always find a way in how he did his consults to make it lighthearted and comedic in the right places as i smiled 

"seriously? do i have to?" i joked with a small giggle, acting like the teenager i'd never get to be as dr phelps nodded his head with a half smile 

"uh-huh, come on small one, cough it up, what's wrong?" dr phelps smiled as i huffed, explaining everything to her, having no clue that my dad and uncle nico had walked past, hearing it all 

"i'm tired dr phelps. like, in a way i've never been before and i...i'm so sore. the amount of pain i'm in is so painful it feels like i'm in pain every day. why...why can't it just stop dr?" i was wanting to cry but, i couldn't because of how unbearable the pain was getting 

"i know small one, i know how tired you are. but, are you able to hold on a little bit longer? just a little? i mean, it's almost your daddy's birthday and i know for a fact, even though i shouldn't say this, that one of your daddy's birthday wishes is for you to be there with the family and sing him happy birthday. you think you could hold on a little longer for that?" dr phelps stroked my cheeks as i shrugged my shoulders - i've gotten so tired that i'm just not so sure how much longer i can continue this fight, even though getting to daddy's next birthday would be amazing 

"i...i want to but, i...i don't know anymore dr phelps," i mumbled when i heard a sob muffled by either a hand or someone's shoulder, looking past dr phelps, the door opened, and i noticed dad and uncle nico - dad crying into uncle nico's shoulders as uncle nico tried to once again comfort him 

"i...i'm sorry daddy but, i-i'm just so tired..." my eyes started to close as dr phelps let them know that i was sleeping, i was fine and my heart machine and the others alike were still working normally, i was just sleeping 

"...it's alright guys, willow is okay, she's just sleeping. she's not dead," dr phelps smiled as they all nodded their heads, breathing a sigh of relief 

"thanks, dr phelps, i think we're okay to watch her now. go and eat something, i'm sure you're starving, thank you again," dad whispered as dr phelps nodded his head and left shortly after as i felt dad grab my hand 

whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready 

willow was on the last stretch of her life before her cancer took over her life and slowly killed her. she had been spending the last month on hospice treatment at her home in sligo with her family, the extended westlife family and dr phelps. the thing that hurt everyone the most other than the obvious was how much younger she looked, even though she was still just a kid at nine years old. she was weak, skinny and basically unrecognisable. she had just helped her family celebrate her dad's birthday just three weeks shy of coming back home for hospice care. she managed to get healthy enough to sit on her daddy's lap at a restaurant and sing happy birthday to him with the rest of the family however, straight after, willow's health quickly declined and had her bedridden ever since. 

willow's pov 

i was so tired and weak and i always felt so sick that all i wanted to do was just sleep. however, i knew if i did close my eyes, there was a chance i wouldn't open them again and that would, no pun intended, kill my entire family but especially my dad. so, for the sake of my dad and the rest of my family, i tried, i tried so hard to keep my eyes open until i physically couldn't any longer. 

"hey chickadee, you alright sweetpea?" uncle mark yawned as he slowly woke up, uncle shane already awake, nudging dad and uncle nico as they opened their eyes as well - these four crazies had been with me all night whilst mum and the other spouses volunteered to watch the other children whilst dr phelps could actually sleep through the night properly 

"mm, i've been better uncle marky but, you know, it's life," i smirked weakly as he gave me a sad smile

dad hadn't let go of my hand, i started to stroke my finger against his hand as i gave him a small smile, "daddy, will i be forgotten about?" i mumble as dad gasps out, tears slowly landing on my hand

"oh, honey, no, never. you'll always be with me, mummy, koa, zekey and cobi," he sobbed softly as i nodded my head, barely even able to acknowledge my other uncles who watched on in devastation 

"daddy? i'm...i'm tired, can i go to sleep? when can i go home?" i was so weak and tired, i had never felt so little and like an infant until now as dad sobbed again, knowing the "home" i meant wasn't our physical home which my bedroom was in right now as uncle nico and uncle shay tried to comfort him, uncle mark comforting me 

"whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready baby girl," he sobbed into my hand as i breathed out softly, a small smile on my face 

can we, can we surrender? can we, can we surrender?

it was now coming up to willow's last few days alive and she was getting, even more, weaker, if that was possible, as the days went on. she was slowly starting to surrender to her cancer and was wanting her dad and the family to do the same thing as well. they didn't deserve this, to have to constantly take care of her every single day when her dad and her uncles were meant to be performing as westlife. but, for the last six months, after announcing another new album, announced that due to her diagnosis and everything, they were halting production of the album until further notice. sacrificing it all to take care of her in her last months alive. she saw it as something they didn't need, an extra "thing" they didn't need stressing over but they didn't. they all saw it as being heroes and just doing what was right, taking care of their dying daughter and niece. 

willow's pov

today was a quiet day, no one really said anything. as though everyone knew that i was coming to the last day of my life so, dad, uncle nico, uncle mark, uncle shane and uncle cailean all sat around my bed, whilst mum, aunty georgina, aunty gillian and their kids/my siblings sat around my room. they were all so upset and it was the first time i had everyone in my room all at the same time since leaving the hospital and coming home. but, it was the first time i had seen dad so upset.

sure, i had seen and heard him cry plenty of times but, not like this. and it sucked. i hated seeing anyone upset but none more so than my family, especially my dad. because it made me feel helpless, i mean, i was. i literally couldn't move or do anything to make him feel better, hell, the only thing he wanted was for me to get better but, that was the one thing i definitely couldn't and failed to do. slowly, the family started to trail out of my room leaving uncle mark, taking advantage of the new starbucks and convenience store that had been built right on the corner of the street we live on that the rest of the family decided to walk to for some lunch as uncle mark stayed back with me. 

"wanna know a secret, chickadee?" uncle mark whispered as i looked up at him, mustering all the strength i had to hold his hand 

"what is it uncle marky?" i spoke softly, caressing his hand as he smiled 

"i'm scared," what he said was so simple but it was heartbreaking as i nodded my head, believing him 

"yeah? do you wanna know my secret?" i whispered as i held his hand slightly tighter as he combed his fingers through my hair as he nodded 

"yeah, what is it?" he responded with a smile as i smiled back 

"i'm scared too," i gulped as uncle mark nodded his head, but not bringing it up straight away which confused me until he finally did lift his head back up when an exposed tear that i don't think he meant to release was released 

"oh, uncle marky, don't cry," i whispered, slowly bringing my finger up to wipe it away which makes him laugh slightly 

"i'm scared, chickadee, of course, i'm going to cry," he whispered back as i smiled again, my finger that wiped his tear slowly coming back down to rest at my side 

"you'll be fine, i promise uncle marky," i smiled as i fiddled weakly with my blanket as uncle mark hummed

"how do you know, will? you won't be here for it," he whimpered as i pressed my lips together before bringing my finger up again to wipe another one of his tears 

"i'll always be here uncle mark, you just won't see me," i smiled as he sniffled, trying to look away as i struggled in grabbing his chin to look at me 

"i...i'll miss you little chickadee," uncle mark whimpered as more tears fell down his cheeks, chuckling, not because i was insensitive but because i was thinking the same thing 

"i'll miss you too uncle marky but, it's okay, i'll be the ghost that haunts you in your dreams every night *tearful giggles*. i'll be keeping you - all of you guys - safe, i'll give you signs every single day. if you ever need anything, just call my name, and i'll be there," i whispered to him as he nodded his head, letting his head fall into my arm as i cooed, my hand curving around the back of his head as i smoothed his hair to calm him down 

can we, can we surrender? i surrender 

same as the previous day, before willow and her family, said anything, it was figured out that she'd be spending some alone time with uncle shane - just like she did with uncle mark yesterday. with uncle shane crying and willow trying to calm him down, soothing him, the nine-year-old suddenly felt at peace, almost as if her surrender was coming to its final end. just like yesterday, uncle shane had taken advantage of everyone else going around the corner for lunch so, this time it was uncle shane that stayed with willow. 

willow's pov

"...willow...willow..." whispering to wake me up, my eyes fluttered open and i woke up, uncle shane was sitting with me, with a small smile that barely reached his eyes as he relaxed knowing i was still alive 

"...what's wrong uncle shay? are you okay?" i mumbled with worry, uncle shay scoffed and shook his head, his lip trembling as if he was about to cry - oh no, please, uncle shay, don't cry i feel like all i've seen lately is you guys cry or be sad and i just want us to get through a day without someone crying 

"i don't care if i'm okay, are you okay willow?" he responded as i was taken aback - i had never really been asked that question in a while, and i wasn't so sure how to give a truthful answer 

"umm...yeah i'm fi--" just as i was about to lie, uncle shay caught it and prevented me even though i think he knew, just like i did, that i wasn't lying on purpose but because i just didn't know how to truthfully answer the question as he swallowed back a sob 

"--no you're not willow, please baby, don't lie to me. please tell me the truth sweetheart," he choked out as i looked up at him as my lip trembled 

"i...i don't know uncle shay, i'm just, tired...so tired and i..." he cut me off, sobs softly wracking his body as his head fell onto my arm 

"...please don't say it willow, please, don't say it..." he sobbed as i took in a deep breath, as deep as i could and i whispered it 

"...i surrender..." i whispered as i fell asleep, my heart machine beating steadily, uncle shay quietly sobbing as he brushed my hair back with one hand whilst the other one wiped away his tears 

no one will win this time, i just want you back, i'm running to your side 

as it was coming to willow's final days on earth and having one-on-one time with her family, today it was with uncle nico. also, the girl, when waking up after uncle shay had fallen asleep, started to write some letters for her family that she just hoped were intelligible enough to be understood. 

willow's pov 

as i woke up from my short little nap, taking a quick look at my vitals, to make sure i didn't need to scream for dr phelps, i smiled and saw uncle nico or nicky. with a small smile, with his arms crossed and his feet weirdly crossed as he rested his weight on the side post of my door frame. 

"hey goober, am i allowed to enter your counselling room?" uncle nico joked as i smiled and laughed slightly, this whole time, uncle nico had been trying to make me laugh and, he finally did it and both of us couldn't have been happier 

"a nine-year-old is qualified enough to be a therapist? nice joke uncle nico *giggles* but yes, you may enter, no one is stopping you from entering as this appointment is all yours. speaking of, what's up uncle nico, how are you dealing with this?" and yes, it went from zero to a hundred in seriousness quickly but, it's because it is a serious topic as we both mirrored each other, crossed over arms and small smiles on our faces 

"i mean, i've been better but, i'm alright. but, most importantly, how are you willow? you haven't really cried once, why haven't you cried? you're meant to cry willow," uncle nico explained, his voice getting shaky as i took in a deep breath and shrugged my shoulders 

"i dunno," i shrugged, honestly, i had no idea why i hadn't cried yet, maybe because i didn't want to seem weaker than i already am

"you've got to know willow, please. before this whole thing became this, you were always crying, almost every day and now it's the other way around, why?" uncle nico pleaded as, once again, i just shrugged my shoulders 

"i don't know uncle nico, that's my honest response," i shrugged as uncle nico just bit his lip to stop his sobs from getting too loud 

"just know that you are allowed to cry babe, no one is stopping you. hell, if you need to scream, just scream and we'll all be there to make it go away," uncle nico softly smiled as he gave me a kiss on the head as he then left shortly after 

but, before he could fully leave, i stopped him. 

"...uncle nico, wait..." i called out, uncle nico stopped and turned around, smiling small 

"...what's up babe, you okay?" he asked as he walked back over as i nodded my head but handed him something 

"yeah, i'm okay, i just wanted to give you these since dr phelps can't take them. before you ask, i wrote everyone a letter as well as added a photo so you don't forget me. and for the kids and my little egans, they have a separate letter. and promise me you won't let them read the letters until after i die..." i muttered as i handed uncle nico the letters, who i could tell was struggling to accept the letters but did anyway 

"of course, i will, i'll make sure we won't forget you. i promise baby girl. thank you, willow," he whispered, kissing my cheek as i smiled as he then walked out of my room 

flying my white flag, my white flag. my love, where are you, my love, where are you? 

the countdown on willow's life was really coming to an end and she wanted to make sure she got all the love and hugs and kisses and tears until her last breath. since the egan had said her final goodbyes to her brothers, cousins, uncles and aunties and parents, she had forced her dad and uncles to slowly get back on the stage and start performing concerts again whilst still on "break" from writing their new album just so they were still working to some degree. and, on one of the days off, dr phelps let willow be alone with her dad and uncles, not wanting to ruin it with them and, it was comforting for the girl. the only talk between the group was every single memory that they shared together. willow, her dad, uncle nico, uncle shay and uncle mark were all cuddled up on the bed together. 

willow's pov 

talking about all the memories i've shared with my dad and uncles is the best way i could possibly end my course on this earth. dad, uncle nico, uncle shay and uncle mark were all cuddled up together on my bed as it was quite large so, it was nice being so close to each other because it was truly comforting. 

"...oh oh oh! i just remembered another one!" uncle shay piped out as we all laughed at the tone of his voice - it went high-pitched for those who were wondering why it was funny 

"i remember we were on the late late show, and we were being interviewed and performing our new single at the time and willow, you were in the audience but you were so calm and collected that ryan didn't know you were there until the end when it was mentioned and you threw your hands up in such excitement because it was the first time you were being shouted out whilst being at a live interview with us. it was the cutest thing ever and i literally remember that like it was yesterday!" uncle shay explained as we all smiled as i grabbed my drink bottle to have a drink to disguise a cough and then felt fine 

"wow, i totally forgot about that shay, does anyone have any others?" uncle mark giggled out as dad piped up for the first time in a while 

"i have one..." dad piped up as we all turned to look at my dad who looked as though he had been crying for all eternity 

"what is it kino?" uncle nico smiled as dad took in a deep breath, pulling me closer to him as i giggled softly 

"when you ran on stage for the first time. you were waiting backstage with mum but got too excited that the moment you knew she wasn't looking, you took that as your chance and you ran straight over to me. it was just after you got your cancer diagnosis and you had been looking forward to that show for so long that no one could even think to be mad at you when you ran on stage to give me a hug and sing "you raise me up" with us," dad cuddled into me as i smiled - yeah, that was a memory of mine that i remembered well i have to admit 

"another one was when me and koa surprised mum on her birthday by making her that photo album. it was really cute seeing her reaction and how excited she was to receive it," i giggled softly as dad and my uncles agreed 

just as we were about to continue our trip down memory lane, a knock came on my door. dr phelps behind it as he gave an apologetic look that he had to cut our time together short but, we understood. 

"...hey guys, i am so sorry to do this but, i am afraid it is time to hook willow back up to all of her other machines that is not her life-support machine. but, if anyone does any concerns, queries or anything, feel free to ask and if she's able to, willow can help me answer them, right wills?" dr phelps winked as i smiled and nodded my head 

"of course, so, any questions?" i smiled softly as dad moved away from the bed, as did uncle mark, uncle shay and uncle nico so dr phelps could hook me up to the other machines again 

i could tell uncle nico had a question and he spoke up, "willow..." he begun as i smiled

"...yeah uncle nico, you gotta question?" smiling at my uncle, i could tell that nico was going to break his own heart with his question but i knew he had to ask it anyway, and so did he 

"how long will it take for you to die when all the machines are turned off?" uncle nico gave me a worried look as i smiled, knowing he was terrified of seeing it in front of his eyes 

"it depends, uncle nico, and if i'm right, it could take a couple of hours or an entire day, is that right dr phelps?" i responded, still asking dr phelps for help as he nods his head, letting me know i was correct 

i could tell that nearly took uncle nico to his knees but he managed to compose himself as he nodded his head and squeezed my hand as i squeezed it back. 

"any other questions?" i smiled as uncle shay took in a shaky breath, dad staying frozen, obviously knowing the answers to these questions so, he didn't say anything, not that i think he wanted to anyway which was fair 

"will it hurt? like, will you be able to feel any of it happening?" another thing that uncle shane and the rest of my family had been worried about when we were all told that i'd die soon - if it would hurt as i smiled 

as dr phelps shook his head, i responded, "not at all uncle shay, it'll be like falling asleep or as though your blinking but you don't open your eyes to blink again," i smiled as i grabbed a tight squeeze of uncle shay's hand as he nodded his head - i then looked at uncle mark, i knew he wanted to say something, in a way to stall dr phelps from turning off the machines 

so, he did, "how would you feel if we went back to doing shows for the next week? would you be okay?" uncle mark said softly as my eyes lit up, nodding my head 

"oh my gosh! i'd love for you guys to go back on stage for the next week! seriously! i can have mum and if you want, you can have the aunties here as well!" i was so excited as i think that released a lot of stress off of not just my dad but my uncles as well

"well, then, that just leaves us to dedicate these concerts to you! and i don't care what you say!" uncle shane buts in which makes us all giggle 

"oh, thank you uncle shay! you know you didn't need to do that! i love you!" i laughed as uncle shay hugged me again as he kissed my face 

"nope, we're doing it! no matter how many times you refuse it, these next shows are dedicated to you. we also agreed in advance anyway that they'd be dedicated to you so, no take backs!" uncle shay smiled as i rolled my eyes and smiled 

"okay fine, if you feel like you need to, here is my full permission!" i smiled as my dad and uncles cheered, making me giggle 

my love, where are you? my love, where are you? 

it was the third show. the third show of the week-long shows that westlife was performing that willow stayed alive. when, suddenly, during aunty georgina's "shift" of looking after her niece, willow's life support machine started to beat unevenly. that was when dr phelps said that, willow's time had come and aunty georgina had to say goodbye. georgina freaked out and, whilst the lads were on stage, she rang their tour manager baz and told him that it had happened peacefully and that it would be better if the rest of the show had been cancelled so the lads could say their goodbyes to their daughter and niece. 

willow's pov

today was the third show of the week-long westlife shows before they'd be going into the studio for their new album after their comeback album spectrum. even though i promised them i'd be alive by the time they finished at the end of the week, i had a feeling that i wasn't going to be able to. but, i did not think i'd get to show three and that would be the day it'd happen. as i slept peacefully, with aunty georgina, uncle nico's wife, softly singing to me and cuddling me on the bed, my life support machine started to go awol. straight away, without hesitation,  aunty georgina shot right up, running to get dr phelps. this is it, i'm going to die tonight. i'm scared, heck, what's a word that means the same thing as scared but means even more? i mean, i genuinely thought i'd make it at least, at least, to show four or five, not three! 

"...aunty gina, i...i'm tired, when can i go? i'm so tired," i sobbed, for the first time. not realising that this was being filmed, not caring that it was, i wanted my dad and uncles to see this, so they knew i wasn't in pain 

"oh, chickadee, it's alright baby girl!" aunty georgina soothed, running her fingers through my hair as i weakly smiled 

"g...gina, when...when can i let...let go?" it was like i was five again when i first seriously injured myself - i felt so young and like i was a baby again as i sobbed weakly 

"whenever you're ready baby girl, whenever you're ready," she whispered as i whimpered and then, it happened, my life support machine started going, getting ready to flatline 

beep....beep...beep...beep...beep...beep...

 i could hear everything. i could hear aunty georgina and dr phelps running to the bed. i could hear aunty georgina screaming at dr phelps to try and keep me alive just for a few hours longer so dad and my uncles could see me alive once more. just one last time. however, dr phelps couldn't so, aunty georgina, screamed and sobbed down the phone line, ringing baz, telling him i was gone. hearing aunty georgina cry and scream like that hurt, it felt like i was getting thrown into a wall or getting stabbed near my heart. 

"dr phelps! please! do something! just keep her alive for a few hours longer please!" aunty georgina screamed, sobbing as i could just picture dr phelps and him shaking his head, telling aunty georgina that he, unfortunately, couldn't and that, it was time to pull the plug 

"georgina, please, darling, i can't. i'm not allowed to, there is nothing more for me to do for your niece. she wasn't in any pain darling, you could see that, she is in complete peace. she was happy that you were with her in her last moments when both of her parents couldn't be. she couldn't feel anything at all. she was at peace with it, please, i know it is hard but, it's time to let her go georgina," dr phelps said softly as aunty georgina's cries got louder and more grief-stricken 

"i...i can't let her go, dr phelps! please, just a little bit longer, let her parents and her uncles see her, please! let them say goodbye!" aunty georgina cried out as dr phelps just shook his head again, he couldn't, there was nothing else that could have been done to keep me alive 

"i'm sorry georgina but, i have to. are you stable enough to ring baz to let him know so the guys are aware?" dr phelps spoke calmly but with a tinge of sadness as aunty georgina nodded her head 

"yes," aunty georgina was trying so hard to calm herself down before calling baz 

nicky's pov

the amount of fun the four of us were having was insane. i genuinely never thought that we'd be able to get this happy considering what was going on at home with our daughter/niece willow and my wife georgina. however, as we finished singing "you raise me up", baz came out on stage. he looked distressed and panicked. i bought my mic up to my mouth and i momentarily paused the show. the fans looked worried as if they had a slight idea of what was happening since it was very well known, not just in the westlife circle, about willow's cancer. 

"i am terribly sorry everyone but, it seems as though we need to momentarily pause the show. stick with us and we'll be back on this stage performing for you again as soon as possible, thanks, guys! we love you all, so does willow and you'll see us soon!" i announced as i looked between baz and kian - both of them looking like the sheer painting of distress and grief when just a second ago, mark had made kian laugh, the first time the dad had laughed in what felt like forever and then in a split second, he was back to his grief-stricken face 

all four of us ran off stage to where baz was as he fights with himself as to how he should tell us. kian grabs ahold of my arm, which i don't mind, this could very well possibly be about willow, i also snake my arm around his waist and pull him close to me. then, baz dropped the gauntlet and told us when everything just came crashing down around us, not just kian, all of us 

"guys, before i tell you this news, i want you all to take a deep breath and compose yourselves, okay?" baz introduces as kian looks at me, without even needing to be told, he already knew what baz was going to say and my heart shattered at the look in kian's eyes 

"what's wrong baz? are willow and gina okay?" shane questioned, hoping they were okay as baz gave a slight shake of the head 

"i...i'm sorry guys but, no, she isn't okay. gina just called me in absolute hysterics. willow was sleeping, gina was with her when, out of nowhere, willow's life support machine went awol and, then it stopped..." hearing that just completed my shattered heart but it obliterated kian's heart as he was hysterical and i had no idea what to do so i just turned his head into my shoulder and let him weep as i rubbed his back, his fingers digging into my back, not caring if it hurt - even though i knew it wasn't going to help him, it was the one thing i could do to help him control something 

the silence that filled the dressing room was piercing. it was so painful as i looked at baz to continue with what happened. although i knew kian didn't want to hear it, it was just so we had clarity. all i needed to know was if it hurt my niece or not. 

"...was...was it painful? like, was she in any pain?" i stammered out as i could feel the tears in my eyes stream down my cheeks as i took in a shaky breath - baz giving me an empathetic look 

"not at all, nicky. gina was told by dr phelps that it did not hurt at all and that she was in complete peace. she couldn't feel a single thing, nicky. i'm going to announce to the fans that the show won't be finished tonight and it'll be performed and completed at a later date," baz then announced as the four of us just stood in shock as we looked at each other and nodded our heads

"thank you baz. thanks so much. we'll grab our stuff and get into the car," i gulped as i knew this meant that the whole ride home, kian would be inconsolable and so would jodi and that made the rest of us feel horrible because we were all parents in this family 

*

the drive home was awful. straight up awful. no one could say anything, not even the songs on the radio could make us sing. it was as though they knew the bereavement that we'd just gone through as every single song was one sad song after another. kian couldn't stop crying, which, we didn't blame him for, whilst jodi held him close whilst shane and gillian were told to keep an eye on me since i was the only one without my partner since she was already at the house with dr phelps and willow. and mark and cailean were wondering how on earth we were going to tell our kids since they were all staying together with our parents. 

arriving at the house in sligo, we were all dreading it. seeing all our cars there, telling us that whilst it seemed like it to others, we actually weren't all there during willow's last moments. then, finally, for the first time since telling us, baz spoke up. letting us know that we had arrived and it was time for us to go inside the house. 

"...come on lads, we're here," baz spoke softly, now this was something we were all scared of happening whilst having our week-long shows - willow dying and us not being there for her

walking into the house felt strange. it felt eerie and like it was the most obvious thing that someone, a literal child, my niece and my best friend's daughter, willow, had just died. i grabbed a tight hold of kian whilst shane and gillian took care of jodi, my hand snaked around kian's waist as we walked into the house. georgina, my wife, is the first person we saw. it was so easy to tell that she had been crying the whole time, just like kian. she didn't say anything, we didn't need her to, i just included georgina into the hold i had with kian and just held the both of them tightly as they both cried. i went up to willow's room quickly to grab the letters before coming back down where everyone else had taken a seat on the couch. 

"good that everyone is sat down but umm, i have something i need to give to you all..." i trailed off as i noticed how everyone watched me with such intensity 

"...these. willow made me promise her that i would keep these letters a secret and that i would give them to you or even mention them until she died. we have the choice of reading them aloud to each other or reading them privately. there is one for each of us. including our children, kian and jodi, and a letter for koa, zekey and cobi are separated from their cousins. and along with the letter she added a photo of herself so we wouldn't forget her," i was so calm and it was scary but, i think it was nice for them all but kian and jodi especially for someone to be calm as i gulped, grabbing my letter as well as kian's, ours being the two on the top 

"thanks, nico," kian muttered, jodi smiling gratefully as i smiled at the both of them with a small head nod 

"of course kino," i smiled softly as i then walked out, to read my own letter privately because i knew i would cry and i didn't want to cry in front of everyone nor set kian and jodi off 

i then walked into willow's room for one last goodbye alongside kian, jodi having just stepped out as i stepped in. 

whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready 

kian and i were sitting with willow. she looked like she was fast asleep like she was about to wake up from that sleep. tightly holding his daughter's hand and the letter, kian refused to believe it. he refused to believe that his only daughter had actually died and done so peacefully. he wanted to believe that she was just going to wake up. holding her hand like he was and watching her like this took him back, all the way back to when he was meeting her for the first time and he would have her sleeping on his bare chest. yeah, sorry jodi, sleep time with willow was always going to be a daddy-and-daughter thing. except, that wasn't what was going to happen this time. this time, she was nine, staying at that age forever, and kian was in his early forties, thereabouts and she wasn't going to wake up from a nap and have some quality time with her dad. this time, she was sleeping forever, peacefully. no more pain and suffering. no more crying in private, behind her family's back, even though we suspected it. no more being tired and scared if she was going to wake up the next time or not. this time, willow knew what the true meaning of peace meant. and she was only nine, not allowed to get another year older as the rest of her family would. 

kian's pov

i wasn't ready for this. i was never going to be ready for this day to come. she looked like she was three again, having her afternoon nap so she could get energised for some more playtime with her daddy, which was me. she looked so peaceful like she was sleeping. seeing her like this was a double-edged sword, on one side, made me happy because she was no longer in any pain and she was now going to live life with her grandpa forever free and in peaceful, painless bliss. however, on the other side, made me upset because she was no longer allowed to have her tenth birthday, or her eleventh birthday, not even her twelfth or thirteenth birthdays either. i just wanted my daughter to wake up and wipe away my and her mum's tears away and tell us that she was okay, that she was going to survive another day with me, with us, her family. for the first time that nicky and i had been in here, i spoke up. 

"she...she looks so peaceful nicky. like she's three again and i'm still going crazy at the fact that i finally have a daughter," i whimpered out as nicky sighed as he rubbed my back 

"yeah, she really does kino," nicky smiled softly as i sniffled, wiping a tear from my cheek as i smiled as well 

"i...i always told her that, if she needs to leave, she can do it whenever she was ready. i never wanted her to be in pain nicky, neither did jodi, but, i just wish her ready was our ready..." i choked out as nicky pulled me in for a hug as i cried again 

"i know kino, i know," he whispered repeatedly as i continued to cry 

"i...i miss my daughter," i sobbed out as i could feel nicky tighten as if he was keeping himself from crying 

"have you ready the letter yet, kino? maybe that could help?" nicky whispered as i staggered and grabbed the letter 

"no, i...i can't. it hurts too much to even look down at it," i whispered, tears stinging my waterline and cheeks as nicky smiled small 

"it's okay kino, i can't read mine either, i thought i could but, i really couldn't. maybe we'll read them as a group together in a few weeks, maybe that'll be easier," nicky whispered as i nodded my head, just resting it on his shoulder 

whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready 

now, kian left and it was just nicky and willow. it was the next day after being told willow had died. unlike kian, nicky couldn't find it within him to leave his niece alone for the night. he just couldn't bring himself to leave her in that room on her own. he felt like he was being begged without even saying anything by his niece to stay with her. and, he did. he talked to her and he cried and that was the circle of events that he did throughout the night until he fell asleep, his head resting on willow's exposed arm. 

nicky's pov

i just couldn't do it. i couldn't leave willow alone. i just couldn't. unlike kian and jodi, i wasn't able to. i felt as though willow, without even saying anything, was asking me to stay with her. so, i just started to talk to her. with that obviously came the crying as she actually couldn't respond which made me upset that i wasn't getting any responses from my niece which then made me feel weird for talking to my deceased niece which kept on going on a repeated cycle until i fell asleep, resting my head on her exposed arm. 

"...it feels so weird without you goober, it's like, i don't know. nothing seems fun anymore. sure, it's only been a day since you died but, i've never seen your father so burnt out and exhausted. i'm scared willow, what are we going to do without you?" i cried out, i was truly lost, what were we going to do? it was like i was having to rebuild my life all over again after my dad passed away, a similar thing probably going through kian's mind about that too 

"please, willow, don't do this to us. we always told you to leave whenever you were ready but, why didn't you understand we meant our ready, not your ready!" i sobbed out once again, crying into willow's clean white bedsheets 

"fuck sake! it feels like our little family has stopped spinning but everyone continues to spin around us. what are we going to do? what will we do now?" i couldn't stop crying however, i slowly found myself getting tired 

"i love you so much willow. whilst losing nucal hurt, and is something i'll never understand, i'll never be able to understand the loss of my niece. if you're up there with nucal and grandpa kev, please let them know that we love them and miss them," i sobbed out as i felt my eyes close and all of a sudden, i was knocked out asleep, my head resting on willow's exposed arm 

*

can we, can we surrender? can we, can we surrender? I surrender, I surrender

liked by jodialbert, nickybyrneinsta, shanefilanofficial, markusmoments, georginaahernbyrne, caileano, gillianfilansligo, rokeating and 66k others 

kianegan willow storm egan. she was me and my wife's first and only daughter and we got the honour of having her as ours for nine years. and how i wish every single day i open my eyes that willow got to do the same thing. ever since the day jodi and i found out we were pregnant with little willow, we knew it was a risk to keep the pregnancy but, we did anyway and boy are we glad we did. whilst this post only shows me and willow, it's only because all the other photos that willow has with jodi, koa, zekey and cobi are from their last few days with her and i don't want to share them online, not now anyway.

watching my eight-year-old get diagnosed with cancer and then get to see her celebrate her ninth birthday, help celebrate her mummy's birthday, and all three of her brother's birthdays as well as mine will always be something we are so grateful for. even though she didn't get to see her tenth birthday and every other birthday after that whilst the rest of us get to turn another year older. watching little willow go through her cancer and then the short amount of treatment we had her on for, we always told her that whenever she was ready to go, she could go. but, no one who loses anyone to cancer or any terminal illness admits that when they say that statement, they don't mean when their family member is ready to go, they mean when everybody else is ready.

and that wasn't any different for me and my family with willow. we didn't want her to leave when she was ready because we knew it would be way before the rest of us were ready. but, now writing this and posting it three months later, i'm so proud of my daughter for letting go when she was ready and not feeling like she had to wait for everyone else around her to be ready to leave. she knew she wasn't going to be without pain unless she surrendered and let herself go and she has done just that. like i mentioned literally everywhere and anywhere i could, being your daddy, willow storm, was the best thing in the world for me and your mummy would say the very same thing. we love you to the moon, the stars and the milky way baby. daddy will talk to you soon, sleep tight princess 🤍

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jodialbert our beautiful little girl. your beautiful mini-me 🤍

kianegan jodialbert i know babe, she really was a mini-me 🤍

nickybyrneinsta breaking my heart here, kino! we miss you every day willow 🤍

kianegan nickybyrneinsta sorry nico but i can't deal with the feeling of people forgetting her. and i miss her too 🤍

shanefilanofficial my god, kian, when will my tears stop? miss your cuddles willow 🤍

kianegan shanefilanofficial good question i have no idea and she gave the best cuddles didn't she? 

markusmoments all of these photos and more and i still wish she was here so we could take more 🤍

kianegan markusmoments i know. i think about that every day and my heart shatters

georginaahernbyrne our sweet willow storm. miss you, baby girl 🤍

kianegan georginaahernbyrne 🤍🤍

caileano awe kian, this is beautiful. miss you willow 🤍

kianegan caileano thank you cailean 🤍

gillianfilansligo oh stop it kian! my heart is broken in two 🤍

kianegan gillianfilansligo i don't want people to forget my daughter gillian 🤍

rokeating i cannot even imagine how these last two months have been for you guys. willow was such a sweet little girl 🤍

kianegan rokeating i can't either and then i remember. and she really was, she was such a sweet soul with way too much love to carry in her tiny body🤍

username i hope they dedicate their next album to willow and shane's parents. so much loss these last few years 🤍

kianegan username we have been talking about doing that since we are back in the studio and writing for the album again and i agree, the last couple of years have been devastating 🤍

fin

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2026

[amberjazmyn]

you look(ed) happier

pairing : oc!valencia callahan x nicky byrne & platonic!westlife

summary : with the lyrics of ed sheeran's "happier" we find out the love story/breakup/re-get-together of nicky byrne and valencia callahan 

warnings : kinda sad, mentions/actions of domestic relationship abuse, but it does get better, single x nicky, georgina ahern byrne may or may not be mentioned but she is not with nicky in this fic

a/n : i have done this one-shot a couple of times before but i was listening to the song again and i wanted to do it again. i contemplated doing it for all four boys but i decided to do it as a young 90s/00s nicky byrne so like before social media existed but still, with my version of what a 90s/00s instagram post would look like at the end if that makes sense.

walking down 29th and park, i saw you in another's arms. 

nicky byrne couldn't help but feel his heart slightly sinking low into his chest as he noticed his now ex-girlfriend from back home in ireland, valencia callahan, in america in another man's arms. nicky needing to go outside for some fresh air just before he and his bandmates of westlife were about to perform a showcase in new york. the worst part of this whole thing for nicky, now that his ex had left him, was that she seemed to be following westlife's career into their venture to cracking america but not just that, she was doing it with her apparent new boyfriend.

this meant that it wasn't just valencia coming to watch the showcase, her new boyfriend was also going to be there and was going to have to be introduced to nicky since he and valencia were still close friends, not having the heart or the hate in them to drop contact with each other. nicky never hated valencia after the two of them broke up, no way. he couldn't ever hate his childhood best friend, he was honestly grateful that valencia had still travelled all this way to support westlife even though she was no longer with nicky. except, the thing that threw him off was the fact he had never imagined or prepared himself to see her do that with another guy wrapped around her shoulders. 

only a month we've been apart, you look happier. 

the thing though, that hurt nicky over anything else was that this new boyfriend made valencia look so much happier, happier than she ever seemed to be when she was with nicky. shane, one of nicky's bandmates and closest friend had suddenly noticed why nicky was looking off into the distance, the sligonian trying to get the dubliner man to go inside the hotel. the dubliner whacking shane's hand away, nicky couldn't help but notice something else that he so desperately missed about valencia - her laugh. 

once again, nicky's heart almost closed in on his chest as he watched and heard her laugh. he didn't know what to do, i mean, who would know what to do in this situation? shane certainly didn't know, he felt inexplicably guilty and devastated for his best friend, shane was still dating his high school sweetheart, gillian walsh. whereas, nicky had his heart broken because unfortunately, valencia and nicky broke up for reasons that, at the time, seemed appropriate and it seemed like the both of them were on the same page at the time. and, all of a sudden, shane watched as his best friend was devastated over the thought of seeing his ex and his best friend cosying up to another man only after what seemed to be a month after nicky and she had broken up.

saw you walk inside a bar, he said something to make you laugh.  

there was still an hour before westlife's showcase in the new york hotel they were performing in so, nicky watched as valencia and her new beau strolled into a bar but, not before the guy made a truly horrendous joke. nicky knew that if he had said it, valencia would have given him a disappointed face as though she was the embarrassed daughter. but because it was this new man that had said it, it had made valencia laugh out loud. so loud that nicky and shane heard it from across the street and so did everyone else that was walking past them and everyone else on nicky and shane's side of the road. both of them, nicky and shane, saw how happy valencia was and it truly devastated both of them, their shoulders sinking to their regular positions as nicky tried to look away. 

"...val, i have a joke for you..." the still unidentified new beau of valencia's asked, valencia smiled, nodding her head as the man continued 

"...what would you get if a dinosaur kicked you in the rear end?" he asked, his voice already cracking with laughter and he hadn't even finished the joke - nicky almost puking because he hated how close the guy was to valencia 

"i dunno, what do you get?" valencia sort of laughed, not like an excited or happy laugh but, the laugh nicky would usually hear when he'd try to tell her a joke so, for a second, nicky did have hope that she wouldn't laugh at the guys joke but, that was until he said the punchline of the joke 

"you get a megasoreass!" and just as nicky and shane didn't laugh at the joke, they hoped and prayed valencia wouldn't laugh but, she did, she laughed at the utterly horrendous joke that her date had made 

and she laughed wholeheartedly, with her whole body, her head flying backward as her hand rested on the man's chest and her head then moved to lean on it so she could control herself. 

"oh, that was a kicker! that was actually really funny!" valencia's voice went high-pitched as her voice broke from her laughing fit, wiping away a tear from her eye as the two then walked into the bar

and it was at that moment that nicky knew he really couldn't stand watching those two anymore, even though he still absolutely adored valencia, he knew it wouldn't do him any good if he continued to focus on her when it was clear she had moved on completely whilst he still was hung up on her. 

i saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours yeah, you look happier, you do. 

it wasn't rocket science for anyone to see that nicky knew that valencia's smile was twice as wide as the ones she smiled when she was with nicky and it made him feel sick to his stomach. it hurt the dubliner terribly to know that possibly, this new boyfriend of valencia's was everything that nicky wasn't and that he couldn't make her happier as this new man did in comparison. nicky's heart felt like it was being crushed and this pain wasn't just a metaphorical pain, oh no, it was such a physical pain that nicky's face started to scrunch up in pain as he would wince occasionally. 

thankfully, it didn't take shane that long to convince nicky that they needed to return back to the stage and away from the doors so that nicky wasn't putting himself through more pain, especially due to the fun that they would be having during their show that was still to occur in the next hour.

however, nicky couldn't help but wait until valencia and this new boyfriend had gone further away into the bar before he moved so that he could have one last look at her before the slight possibility of him catching eyes with her tonight during the showcase. 

ain't nobody hurt you like i hurt you, but ain't nobody love you like i do. 

despite the slight privacy that nicky and valencia both had about their lives, not really the type to overshare whilst being in the public eye of the westlife fans and the west end fans since valencia was an actress in the west end. it had become pop star gossip basically the moment that the slight possibility that nicky and valencia had broken up being true was announced. and then, their breakup was announced and like the rumours, it was on the front page of nearly every single teen magazine that nicky and valencia had broken up and that it was "messy" and that there was apparently a cheating scandal involved or something completely dramatic.

however, that was the furthest from the actual reality of what actually went down and the reason why the two popular young adult stars broke up. they decided, nicky and valencia, because it had gotten so bad that they were going to put out a statement explaining the full truth as to why they were breaking up and decided that what was best was a video interview. since, of course, having an interview with a magazine can mean being misinterpreted or misworded to make one person sound better or worse than the other. so, with louis walsh, westlife's manager and valencia's west-end talent manager, nicky and valencia sat down together for a break-up video interview to clear the air about why they decided to break up. 

they hated that everything else that was being spread across the newspapers and magazines was false and decided that it was best for the words to come from the two of them themselves. because, in actuality, the breakup was mutual between the two and it was made clear from the very beginning that if they were going to find someone new, it was okay and that the two of them would and are always the best of friends, no matter what. they both meant the world to each other and there was no way they could remove the other from their life.

to them, what they said in their own words was that they were each other's right person but it was the wrong time and, it broke nicky and valencia's hearts to break up with each other. despite how mutual it was because of how much they loved and still love each other. the only reason why valencia and nicky broke up was that it seemed like it was the case of they were the right person for each other but, it wasn't the right time and that was why it was so painful for the both of them. 

"...hey, nico, you know that it wasn't either you or valencia's fault why you two broke up?" shane spoke softly as he watched, keeping an eye on his still heartbroken friend sulk over watching his ex who was still his best friend, who he still loved dearly, look way happier with the new guy than she ever did with him 

"i...i know shay, it just, hurts seeing her look so much happier with someone else..." nicky sniffled solemnly, resting his hands on his chin as shane rubbed his best friend's back 

"...it does hurt, nico, i know that but, don't forget that, sure val has a new man but, she still loves you so much and only wants the best for you. and i think that's why she's flown all the way over here, to new york from dublin, to support her best friends as they...we...try to crack america's pop market. of course, though, it is really sucky for me, kian, mark and bryan to see she's moved on with someone else but, we all have to just look past that and be glad that she's still here. trust me, from someone who's with the girl who i've loved since i was twelve, it'll get better and, who knows, maybe one day, she'll realise that this happy with this guy isn't the happy she wants and, she'll find her way back to you..." shane smiled softly, trying to convince nicky who just nods his head in response although, it was still quite difficult to believe his best friend 

promise that i will not take it personal, baby if you're moving on with someone new. 

nicky promised, basically pinky promised, the day that he and valencia broke up, that he wouldn't take it personally and be that arsehole ex-boyfriend if valencia was to find someone new and move on. he knew that valencia was bound to move on quickly anyway. so, he made a promise not to take it personally (as did she) and that just because she's moved on quickly, it doesn't mean that she wasn't grateful or faking any of her feelings towards nicky or acting as though it was nothing.

because, honestly, valencia was on cloud nine throughout her whole relationship with nicky, it was just honest to god the timing for the both of them always seemed to get in the way of their schedules as a member of westlife and a west-end actress, not their chemistry. 

"...if there is anything you two would like to say to the other, what is the one thing you'd tell them? valencia, i'll ask you first..." a smash hits reporter asked as valencia smiled softly and nodded her head, holding nicky's hand tight 

"...nicky, do you promise me something?" valencia spoke up small, feeling lowkey embarrassed that she would be repeating the very same thing she had told nicky in private when they originally broke up as nicky lifted his head up from the floor and he nodded his head 

the two twenty-somethings had already broken up with each other privately but, now, they were asked to basically do it all over again in a video interview and it was now getting emotional and both of them were crying whilst being filmed for an interview and it just felt really awkward. the reason why they broke up wasn't that they weren't in love with each other anymore or because they were never best friends, that's absolutely wrong.

they were breaking up because they were young and they were celebrities who were right for each other but started their relationship at the wrong time. that's all it was, they still love each other but, that was the reason why nicky and valencia had broken up. if breaking up now was the thing that could save their special thing and then find it later on then that's what they were going to do because they didn't want to ruin it by continuing to pursue their relationship during this time. 

"always, val, what is it?" nicky sniffled softly as valencia's hand ghosts over nicky's as the smash hits reporter felt sick to her stomach, she hated that she had been picked to do this but, she couldn't run now, she had to stay and continue this video interview 

"promise me that if i do move on with someone new, you won't take it personally and hate me for it?" valencia only gulped as she kept her eyes looking at nicky, ignoring the camera and the smash hits reporter as nicky nodded his head

"yes, i promise. i love you too much to hate you," nicky choked out in a whisper, more tears building in his eyes as he breathed in, asking valencia a question 

"can you promise me something?" nicky whispered back, clearing his throat as valencia nodded her head, her hand touching nicky's as they kept eye contact with each other 

"of course, always, what is it?" valencia questioned softly, only wishing she and nicky didn't have to do this video interview and the magazines and newspapers didn't try to twist their words and the truth just for clicks and reads 

"am...well, are we still best friends? even if you may date someone else after me?" it was this question that broke nicky's heart to say as finally, a tear rolls down his cheek as he closes his eyes, valencia breathing deeply so she wouldn't cry her tears as she wipes nicky's tear away, the smash hits reporter almost crying herself for the two 

smiling softly with a head nod, valencia responded, "of course, we're still gonna be best friends, nico! i've known you my whole life, i could never throw away our entire relationship and friendship just because we dated the right people but at the wrong time. i couldn't ever remove you from my life, you're way too special to me, i can't do that and i will never do that..." valencia paused as she wiped away more of nicky's silent tears as he nodded his head, understanding valencia which made her feel better 

"...even if i do end up dating someone else and if you end up dating someone else, i am always a phone call away or a short drive away if you ever need anything and, i know if i was in a similar situation, you'd be there waiting for me too," valencia smiled and nicky nodded his head as his lip trembled, another single tear slipping down his cheek as he giggled in embarrassment, wiping it away himself 

thankfully, the smash hits reporter only had a few last questions to ask and then, the interview was to be published and hopefully, after that, only the truth about nicky and valencia's relationship and their breakup was going to be talked about. 

'cause baby you look happier, you do, my friends told me one day, i'll feel it too. 

it still seemed impossible for nicky to get it out of his head that valencia seemed to look happier with her new boyfriend after the break-up and honestly, whilst he was proud of her, it still hurt and was a hard thing to just shake off. it honestly did sort of scare nicky that he thought that he was maybe getting replaced and that maybe, he was actually losing his best friend when it was considered that he still didn't know what this new boyfriend was like in relation to knowing about boy-best friends for his girlfriends. 

"oi, nico, we need to get ready, hair and makeup are asking for us so, when we see valencia stay calm, okay?" shane announces to nicky, patting his shoulder as the dubliner nods his head 

"yes, shane, i understand, i'm not a five-year-old!" nicky, with a sassy attitude, rolls his eyes as he chuckles, making shane smile at the attitude and eye-roll 

"i know, nicky, forgive me but, i just don't want you getting hurt, that's all!" shane suddenly went serious as nicky smiled and pulled his best friend in for a hug 

"thanks, shay, i do appreciate it," nicky smiled into his best friend's shoulder and shane smiled too, exhaling slightly as he pats his best friend on the back 

"no worries, buddy. i know how much you and valencia loved and still love each other. it is hard when a couple like you two, that are the right couple, break up due to it being the wrong time," shane smiles softly, the two men pulling out of the hug as they started to hear the commotion of the audience from their dressing rooms 

and until then i'll smile to hide the truth, but i know i was happier with you. 

all that was left for nicky to do in regards to getting ready for the showcase was his jacket. however, it seemed as if from the knock at the door, that wasn't going to be happening just yet. with a small sound of acknowledgement that nicky was fully dressed, the door opened to reveal bryan with a sly smile on his face. confusing nicky, he smiled confusedly at them before hearing what two of his bandmates had to tell him.

"nico, just to let you know, a special someone has decided to come backstage and she's got someone with her..." bryan smiled in the excitement that his two best friends were going to reunite but, was not so happy that another man was going to be in that equation 

"...valencia has come backstage?" nicky questions, his voice suddenly small and timid, exactly opposite to the usual loud, boisterous and confident voice that he always had as bryan smiled empathetically, nodding his head - only knowing what shane had told him from earlier on 

"yes, she has and she's honestly so excited to see you so, can i?" bryan questioned, his head slightly tilted at the door, asking his bandmate for permission and nicky smiled as his fingers found their way to his pockets 

bryan nearly jumped in excitement as he rushed over to open nicky's dressing room door to let valencia and her new boyfriend in to visit nicky before rushing out himself after one last hug to his old friend. the former boyfriend and girlfriend are now just staring at each other in awe. it had felt like nearly years ago that valencia had seen the dressing room for westlife's american showcase when really it was maybe a couple of months, not even?

pretty much as soon as they broke up, valencia's west-end contract started which meant that she had to part ways with nicky not just in their relationship but also because she was needed back at her show. that was until she remembered she had vacation days. and, it was during this west-end show that valencia and her new boyfriend had met, he had come on as a swing replacement for the leading role in the show. and honestly, it still felt strange to her that when she introduced her boyfriend to people, she wasn't saying nicky or nicholas. 

"nicky!" valencia finally opened her mouth, nicky's name falling off her tongue effortlessly as if she never stopped saying it, nicky's face lighting up at seeing his best friend, her new boyfriend giving the best friends a strange look that nicky managed to catch from the corner of his eye 

"hey, val! how are you, i've missed you so much!" nicky spoke excitedly, the excitement of valencia finally visiting again starting to soak into the pop star as he pulls his best friend in for a hug 

placing her softly back to the ground, valencia responded, "i'm fantastic thanks nicky, how have you been? it's been like, what, a month since we last saw each other and since i left for my west-end gig?" the girl asked with a slight laugh in her breath as nicky nodded his head, a small giggle leaving his mouth as well 

"yeah...wow, it has been a month, that's crazy," nicky spoke with a small whisper as he noticed the way valencia tried to grab her boyfriend but wasn't able to as he had suddenly and quietly left nicky's dressing room without a word of acknowledgement of where it was he had left off to 

"...oh and, by...by the way, that was my boyfriend, matthew..." valencia tried to smile but, it was obvious that nicky could see through it but decided against the questions for now 

"...well, that's nice, val. how...how long have you two been together for, if you don't mind me asking?" nicky spoke softly, with hesitation as valencia tilted her head in confusion - was it three weeks or four weeks as it surely hadn't been a month 

"uhh...i...i think three weeks? so, not that long..." valencia shyly smiles as nicky nodded his head, he felt slightly calm knowing that she hadn't moved on straight away otherwise that really would have broken nicky and wrecked him tenfold more 

"oh, okay, that's nice, val. he treats you well i'm assuming?" nicky questioned as the two of them moved from the door to the couch that resided in the dressing room where the two of them used to have sex, sleep on together upon other things when valencia suddenly became nervous 

"uh...well, yeah i guess he does. i mean, he makes me laugh a lot, i guess..." valencia stammered, her voice shaky and sounding unsure which confused nicky as earlier, nothing looked as though it was wrong or out of sorts 

"...you guess? val...is matthew hurt--" 

"--hey sweetcheeks, who's-oh, you're nic-nathan? val's friend, right? hello, i'm matthew, her boyfriend," matthew suddenly introduced himself out of nowhere, cutting off nicky and calling him by the wrong name 

although it annoyed him, nicky still smiled curtly with a head nod, noticing basically straight away how uncomfortable valencia was getting but tried to hide it, "hey matthew, yeah, i'm nicky, valencia's best friend. so anyway, are you excited about the showcase tonight considering you guys flew all the way over here from ireland?" nicky questioned, also getting an uncomfortable feeling from matthew as valencia enthusiastically nodded her head whilst matthew just hits her with a dirty look and rolled his eyes at the correction of nicky's name 

"very excited, nico, you guys always put on amazing performances and, i just couldn't resist flying back over to watch you guys crack america, especially since you're back in new york," valencia gushed as she smiled, making nicky smile as he bit his lip at his best friend's excitement to return to a westlife show after breaking up with one of their members only a month ago - showing that there was genuinely no bad blood between the band and the exes 

"aw, thanks valencia, i knew you'd say that, but matthew, are you looking forward to it?" nicky smiles at valencia as he then pointed the same question to matthew who just gave a half-hearted nod 

"i mean, this was the concert that valencia couldn't stop talking about and it makes her happy seeing westlife so, might as well enjoy it for myself as well, right?" matthew lazily shrugs as valencia and nicky awkwardly laugh as he then leaves again, valencia and nicky both letting out breaths they hadn't even realised they'd been holding onto 

this made valencia feel embarrassed, matthew had promised her he wouldn't act like this at all, "i...i am so sorry about matthew, nico, he promised me he wouldn't act like this at all. he actually said to me that he was super excited to see you guys live so, i don't know what's gotten into him, i'm sorry..." valencia trailed off in a dejected voice, rubbing her arms together, a signal that nicky knew all too well that meant valencia was anxious

"...don't worry, valencia, it's totally okay. how about we go to mark's dressing room? i'm sure the other three are in there with him and they'll be so excited to see you again. besides, i think matthew's got himself preoccupied with the tour he's just decided to give to himself and another girl..." nicky spoke as they turned to see matthew talking to a girl that had seemingly found her way out of the actual arena and into the backstage area and valencia nods her head in agreement 

grabbing her hand, nicky and valencia ran over to mark's dressing room where they had found mark, kian, shane and bryan all just relaxing in the sligonian's dressing room before it was time for the concert. nicky and valencia had reached the dressing room and everyone's eyes lit up in excitement as they had come to realise valencia's presence. 

"val!" they all screamed at the same time, the girl laughing as they had a group hug, forcing nicky into the hug as well as he reluctantly joined in with a small chuckle at his best friends and bandmates 

"hey, lads! it's so nice to see you all again! i've missed you so much!" valencia said in excitement even though it had only been a month, the month felt longer as she then couldn't help but think that, maybe, nicky's energy about matthew has some truth to it

"we've missed you too, val! anyway, where's your new boyfriend?" shane questions, pulling out of the group hug as valencia shrugged her shoulders when out of nowhere, matthew popped out from behind valencia 

and, obviously, it scared her instead of making her happy and the westlife lads notice and it worries them. matthew, once again, ignores their reactions and introduces himself to the guys. all of the boys shared a displeased look after matthew seemed to just insert himself into the group after scaring his girlfriend. 

"hi guys, i'm matthew, valencia's boyfriend, nice to meet you all," it was clear the smile was fake and he hated this, but at the same token, he was smiling because of the way he was forcefully holding valencia down, fear starting to build in her eyes 

"hi, matthew," they all responded, slightly shocking matthew, whose expression doesn't change as everyone then comes forward to shake his hand, though none of them even wanted to associate themselves with the guy 

since gillian, shane's girlfriend and kerry, bryan's girlfriend weren't in the room, the only people that needed to introduce themselves were the other four westlife lads since matthew and nicky had already met prior. 

"i'm kian," 

"i'm mark," 

"i'm shane," 

"and i'm bryan," they all introduced themselves and matthew just shook his head, pushing valencia forward out of nowhere as he once again departed the room, on his way to find the girl he was speaking to earlier during their little tour 

and, matthew didn't even stop to give his girlfriend a single kiss or not even i love you val and that really made nicky and the other four guys raise their eyebrows. 

and it obviously rattled valencia but, she tried to hide it, "umm, anyway...how have you guys all been since it has been a month since i last saw you all?" valencia spoke up with a meek smile, trying to defuse the awkward tension 

"we've been great thanks, val. kerry and gillian have joined us for our new york showcase so, it's not just been the five of us which has been fun. but, the girls have missed you dearly, and truthfully, so have we so, it's nice to see you again, val but what about you? how have you been?"  kian spoke up as valencia laughed, her eyes lighting up hearing that gillian and kerry had travelled with them when she started to play with a strand of hair that nicky then placed behind her ear, making her nervous again as the former couple smiled at each other 

"that's so great to hear, kino! i'll make sure to look for them in the crowd. and, i've uh, i've been good thanks, i...uh met matthew around four weeks ago in person but we'd been talking for a week before we met but we started dating three weeks ago so, umm, yeah, still quite new and it's been interesting as matthew is quite the guy but umm, it's fun," valencia really wasn't making her new boyfriend sound amazing just like she could do so easily with nicky, especially considering the relationship was so new but it was maybe for that reason as well that valencia was kind of selling her new boyfriend so short 

"okay, okay, not that long but, have you guys said the l word to each other yet?" shane then asked as valencia awkwardly laughed again, her eyeline focused on her shoes for a second - nicky recognising that maybe something wasn't right but, like before, didn't push it further  

"well, i...i have said it but, matthew, i think is just waiting for the right moment, ya know? maybe he just isn't ready yet as he did have a bad breakup before meeting me so, yeah..." valencia nodded her head with a smile, hoping to convince herself that she had nothing to worry about as the boys also nodded their heads, with some scepticism about matthew 

valencia and the boys continued to catch up with one another for a little bit longer before it was signalled that it was five minutes before the concert was meant to start, meaning that valencia had to find matthew to take the two of them to their seats. 

"...it was so lovely catching up with you before the show val, but, we do have to go as we're about to get our five but, chat after the show, yeah? remember where we always meet?" nicky asked as valencia nodded her head, her first real big smile covering her face 

"ditto, nicky, it was lovely seeing you and the lads again. and, of course, i remember where we always meet, your bloody dressing room! it hasn't been years nicky!" valencia giggles as the both of them hug and go their separate ways - valencia back over to matthew and the arena and nicky back over to his dressing room to finish the last few pieces of his outfit before going to places 

nicky couldn't help but remember how happy he was with valencia. valencia made nicky so much happier which was what made it tricky for him to understand how someone like matthew made valencia happier than nicky did. to nicky and his bandmates who had heard, it seemed as if matthew was trouble and it worried them sick. worried them to the point where they thought that he might be an abusive boyfriend or if not now, will eventually get to that point. 

ain't nobody hurt you like i hurt you, but ain't nobody need you like i do. 

throughout the entire concert, nicky made sure to keep his eyes on valencia and matthew. valencia mainly as he wanted to make sure she was safe and that matthew wouldn't try anything sneaky to hurt her. but, it was also because nicky still needs her. nicky still felt like he had so much more to give to valencia, way more than matthew would be able to. especially considering how matthew just looked like he was bad news when you first make eye contact with the guy. 

it was coming towards the end of the first half of the concert when the song what makes a man instrumental started and straight away, valencia was ready for what was to come next. 

nicky, as he sang the chorus, made eye contact with valencia from the barricade that she was standing in front of next to gillian and kerry, shane and bryan's girlfriends as the girls had invited both valencia and matthew to join them. nicky directed this very song towards valencia, who he was still head over heels in love with, valencia, who still remembered every single lyric, mouthed alongside him. 

as it got to the last few verses and choruses of the song, it looked as though nicky was on the verge of tears if valencia looked closely enough. and it broke her heart, she hated the amount of pain she and nicky's breakup had on nicky, even though it was a mutual breakup, that didn't take away the pain that the both of them felt over it ending. valencia just wished she never gave it up with nicky, even though a part of her did love matthew and was glad she was dating him. 

suddenly, out of complete nowhere, valencia started crying when she and nicky made eye contact for what was maybe the tenth time during the song. nicky wished he didn't make valencia cry but, at the same token, he was glad it wasn't him that was crying otherwise, he knew how bad that would have made valencia feel. she had then gone to turn around to matthew to ask him for a tissue from her bag that he had offered to hold for her but, when she went to ask, he was nowhere to be seen. 

it freaked her out, not knowing where her boyfriend had gone but thankfully, gillian was right there to hand her a tissue that was from valencia's bag, valencia took notice that gillian was now keeping her bag safe, not matthew. valencia was now back to thinking about whether or not it was a smart idea to bring matthew and maybe thinking whether or not she really did love him or if he actually loved her. or, if he was like nicky and possibly the rest of westlife and gillian and kerry thought, was just an abuser and a troublemaker. 

i know there's others that deserve you but darling i am still in love with you. 

it didn't take rocket science to figure out that during the entire concert that nicky knew he was focusing too much on valencia whilst still knowing he was still head over heels in love with her. whilst it was obvious to valencia and his bandmates, it was shockingly something that every other westlife fan was just skimming over their heads, just assuming that nicky was just getting really emotional for unknown, personal reasons and that was why he was constantly paying more attention to one specific person rather than the whole crowd like he usually would be. even though nicky knew that there were others that deserved valencia as he promised her, he still found it difficult to comprehend that she did move on because at the time they made that promise, they were both unaware of how quickly valencia would move on after the breakup. 

it wasn't until flying without wings as valencia watched nicky keep eye contact with her throughout the whole song that it became clear to her that maybe, falling in with matthew was dangerous. however, she still desperately tried hard to hide the newfound fear that arose in her as matthew then rejoined her, kerry and gillian in front of the barricade and become suddenly possessive of her during the last few songs and then the encore. especially considering nicky and the other four could see her super easily and keep track of what was going on even though they were on stage. 

*

but i guess you look happier, you do. my friends told me one day i'll feel it too. 

the encore for westlife's concert was now over which meant that the show was finished and fans were now leaving the arena or attempting to get photos of the screen behind the stage that said westlife in white bold text. when valencia and matthew rushed backstage, gillian and kerry leaving moments earlier after getting recognised by literally every single security guard to find their way over to nicky's dressing room. seeing that her best friend's dressing room door was wide open, valencia saw her chance, running straight over to nicky in excitement, adrenaline soaring through her blood. however, whilst valencia was rushing over to nicky's dressing room, matthew was running after her trying to get her attention. 

"...val, can i please...have a second just to speak to you? it's serious and it can't really wait--" 

skidding to a halt, valencia turned around to face her boyfriend, her face red as heavy breaths left her mouth, "--oh, sorry matthew but, i promised nicky i'd see him after the concert. i'll be very quick, i promise, can i please just catch up with him and his bandmates and their partners? we can talk later, i promise!" valencia quickly interjected as, to be honest, she was wanting to speak to nicky and his bandmates to get away from matthew who rolled his eyes before quickly noticing the security guard and smiled, nodding his head 

"oh, darling, of course, you can! go, have fun with your friends, i'll just be over at the bar across the street to get us some drinks before the end of the night, okay? oh, also, tell nicky and everyone else that they did amazing! i love you, princess!" matthew smiled, giving valencia a kiss making her squeal that he finally told her he loved her - okay, maybe he wasn't so bad after all and she ran like a little kid as she and nicky locked eyes 

"thanks, matthew! i love youuu!" valencia squeals out as she then runs over and sees nicky outside of his dressing room, the two of them locking eyes 

as some music started playing through the speakers of the arena, nicky and valencia ran over to each other in excitement. valencia jumps as nicky catches her and he spins the both of them around in a circle, something they hadn't done since their split. 

"hey..." valencia trailed off as she giggled as nicky held her tightly, the both of them slipping back into nicky's dressing room, closing the door so no one, especially matthew would suspect the best friends 

"...hi," nicky whispered back before in another short breath, whispered again, "you know, i've missed doing that with you," he whispered again, softly placing valencia back on the ground as she giggled softly, lifting her head up, placing a loose strand of hair behind her ear 

"i have as well...and, oh my god, you did amazing during the show! what makes a man was the best it's ever sounded, you made me cry actually! oh, also, matthew told me as well that he thought you guys did amazing so, um, yeah, well done!" valencia spoke enthusiastically but then hesitated when she mentioned matthew, something she had started to realise that she would do anytime in regards to mentioning him since they met and started dating 

and, all of this hesitation from valencia made nicky suspicious and think that maybe it was because valencia's scared of matthew but was at the same time so blinded by her love and infatuation for him that she finds her hesitation when she's around him or speaking about him to be normal. seeing this and now after being around, this was also now scaring nicky as much as it was potentially scaring valencia.

"oh, thank you, valencia! i'm so glad that both you and matthew enjoyed yourselves, which reminds me, where is he? i would've thought he would be with you..." nicky asked in confusion but nevertheless was still excited that they were finally alone as valencia just smiled - sort of nervous to go back over knowing that she and matthew were going to have a hard chat because of the way she was acting around nicky and the rest of the lads 

"...oh, umm, i think he left the arena to go to the bar across the street to get us some drinks so, he said i was allowed to come and hang out with you guys for a little bit," valencia smiled with excitement that she did get to hang out with her best friends 

"oh, umm, okay, cool! let's go back to mark's dressing room as kerry and gillian are there right now with the others then if matthew's allowed it," saying that made nicky's skin crawl and stomach churn in an undelightful way - was matthew suddenly becoming possessive over valencia?

"please, let's do that!" valencia spoke with what sounded like a hushed-out voice but nicky tried not to think too deeply about it as once again, just like this friends said, one day, nicky would feel the same joy that valencia's found with matthew and that one day soon, nicky is also going to move on

i could smile to hide the truth but i know i was happier with you. 

the night of the arena being open was nearly coming towards its end and since meeting up with nicky, shane, bryan, mark, kian, gillian and kerry, matthew had now returned with a couple of alcoholic drinks that he seemed to sneak into the arena with. and had now started to come very touchy with valencia in the most uncomfortable way possible. but, just like nicky had been doing the entire time, valencia was smiling to hide away the truth of how she truly felt.

obviously, because he was there, matthew had now joined the group and valencia as they were having their catch up and it was very uncomfortable. not just for nicky and the rest of the westlife group but for valencia as well. mainly because matthew was being blunt, rude and possessive but he was also trying to cover it up and justifying it by saying he was just being protective of his girlfriend. 

"...so, nathan, you dated valencia for a brief period of time, how long was it?" matthew, once again, called nicky by the wrong name as he asked in a rude tone of voice

and this noticeably scared valencia, she had never seen matthew be so rude but assumed it was due to the alcohol and because he was curious?

fighting the urge to roll his eyes, nicky sighed, "it's nicky and yes, i did, valencia and i dated for three years..." the dubliner corrected the inebriated man as he smiled a small smile, hoping that his feelings were being hidden away and not so obvious 

"...hmm...three years? is...is that what i have to beat baby doll?" matthew slurred as he started to nonconsensually kiss valencia's neck as she nervously gulped, trying to grab his face to get him to stop as everyone watched on with anger and worry 

"yes matthew, three years and, i won't lie when i say those three years were bloody fucking fantastic, it was just the timing that killed us so it was the right person wrong time. so i have no idea, maybe you and i could get to three years or beat it, matthew. however, we are still yet to get to a month so, be patient, okay darling, be patient!" valencia spoke with a slight tone in her voice as she smiled, trying her hardest to act all lovey-dovey around him when she was uncomfortable, especially with the few drinks he was influenced by 

"mmmkay babyy..." matthew slurred out again as he started to feel his hands around valencia yet again, the girl laughing uncomfortably, trying to hide the very noticeable fear in her eyes and body language even though she was in love with matthew - nonconsensual touching was still not okay if you were dating the person 

"i love you, matthew, i really do but, we don't touch me like this when we're in public, okay? that's for our bedroom, got it?" the girl spoke through gritted teeth again, slapping matthew's hand away as the man started to sober up and he nodded his head 

"okay baby, let's leave then, we can catch up with your friends and ex-boyfriend tomorrow! i still have something i need to tell you, remember?" matthew whispered as valencia nodded her head, whispering back to him asking if she could say just one final goodbye to everyone, nodding his head, matthew released his arms from valencia's waist 

matthew then made it out of the dressing room and out of the arena to wait by the car. valencia smiled again as she went over to nicky and the rest of the group to say her goodbyes. they all smiled as they hugged and chatted a little more. valencia and nicky were finally in front of each other again and valencia just smiled and went on her tippy toes as she pulled him in for a hug. 

"thank you for the great night tonight, nicky. i truly think it was good for matthew and me to fly over here and see one of the shows and for him to meet you guys. it seems as if he truly and thoroughly enjoyed it which was nice to hear and, yeah, see you again soon and if not soon, whenever it is you guys return back to ireland..." valencia was about to leave when she paused and turned back around 

"...i...umm, i know how hard it was for you to see me with matthew and the fact that i have moved on but, i'll always and i mean always love you nicky. those three years we were together were truthfully and honestly the best fucking time ever but, i'm with matthew now and, i am glad you're okay with it..." valencia paused again as nicky nodded his head with a small smile on his face, he truthfully was glad she was happy again even though he did have some slight suspicions about the guy 

"...okay, i really have to go now but, i love you loads nicky and, i'll see you around new york but, if not soon, i'll see you back home in ireland i'm sure..." valencia blabbed out as she smiled and kissed nicky's cheek, his cheeks flushing a bright pink as he smiled back, his hand slightly grazing his cheek as valencia walked away 

"...not a problem, valencia, it was nice seeing you too...i love you more..." nicky trailed off as he grazed his cheek that valencia kissed as he sighed - valencia really was in love with matthew, she really was happy with him 

baby, you look happier you do, i knew one day you'd fall for someone new. 

one month later, it seemed as if valencia and matthew were still dating... that is, what people who read smash hits and all those other magazines thought that is.

smash hits 

KENDRA BECKNER | EDITOR JANUARY, 2000

west-end performer, valencia callahan, the ex-girlfriend of westlife superstar nicky byrne seen out with a mystery man at her older sister's wedding! it seemed like it was only yesterday that our smash hits reporter lyndsy ramos did a video interview with callahan and byrne to stop rumours about the reason why the power couple broke up. however, nearly two months later, valencia is already seen out with a new beau whilst nicky is still single but with rumours about talking to bertie ahern's daughter, georgina. 

valencia's older sister, west-end performer kayleene callahan got married yesterday (read that article here!) and kayleene's younger sister, valencia was the maid of honour. but, it wasn't her being her sister's maid of honour that had reporters taken aback. it was the fact that valencia was seen kissing and sitting rather close to another man. and, who is this new man valencia is dating, may you ask? well, take today as your lucky day because we've got all the gossip. 

valencia's new boyfriend is west-end performer matthew d'angelo. matthew d'angelo is well known for playing marius in les miserables, link in hairspray and many others but, how did he gain the attention of valencia callahan? well, it was said the moment that valencia and nicky broke up that callahan had to return back to england for her west-end show, grease. she had been spending time with nicky and westlife in america during their showcase to break america, where she played the lead role of sandy on the west end when she met d'angelo who was joining the show as a swing ensemble member with his first debut on stage as danny. and then, it was said from that moment on that valencia and matthew fell in love. 

however, we can't lie and say we don't miss seeing valencia and nicky together so, in this article, you can read our list of fifteen things we loved about valencia callahan and nicky byrne's relationship. although we do miss val and nicky, we also do love val and matthew, here is a gallery of photos of the new couple at kayleene callahan's wedding: 

gallery 60+ photos: click here

however though, as most people are aware, not everything that you see in the newspapers and magazines is real and picture-perfect. recently, matthew and valencia were arguing and fighting like crazy. but it wasn't like valencia had done anything wrong, it was just something that had spiralled out of control after matthew started all the arguments. unfortunately, as nicky and his bandmates, unfortunately, thought and suspected would happen, matthew was now dangerous and abusive. matthew was so abusive that he would punch walls, merely inches from missing valencia's face each time. 

"...matt...matthew, babe, please...please stop! what...what did i do wrong? just...just tell me and i...i can fix it!" valencia squeals out, curling up against the wall and mere inches from where matthew's hand was close to punching her 

"stop talking with and seeing that nathan guy! it's him that is causing this trouble! DO YOU NOT SEE THE WAY HE LOOKS AT YOU WHEN YOU ARE TOGETHER?!" matthew suddenly raises his voice which makes valencia mad - how dare he say shit about nicky when nicky hadn't done anything wrong 

"matthew alexander d'angelo! his name is nicky and he has done nothing wrong. the two of us have been friends since we were children. yes, he's going to look at me in a certain way because we dated for three bloody years and we're best friends but, it means anything but what you think it means because i'm with you and because i love you...not...not him..." valencia hesitates towards the end as fear surges through her but, it was too late, matthew was mad 

"NO VALENCIA, YOU DON'T LOVE ME! YOU NEVER HAVE AND YOU NEVER WILL! YOU HAVE LOVED NICKY THIS ENTIRE TIME, YOU TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE YOU'D RATHER BE WITH HIM THAN ME!" matthew screams, throwing another punch at the wall, again merely missing valencia by an inch and valencia smiles at the fact he finally got nicky's name right 

"FINE! YOU GOT ME MATTHEW! I DO LOVE NICKY AND I STILL DO, I NEVER STOPPED LOVING HIM BECAUSE THE TIMING FOR US WAS NEVER RIGHT AND WAS ALWAYS IN THE WAY. WHICH WAS THE REASON WE BROKE UP IN THE FIRST PLACE, NOT BECAUSE WE STOPPED LOVING EACH OTHER! YES, I ADMIT, I TALK ABOUT NICKY LIKE I'D RATHER SPEND TIME WITH YOU BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER SPEND MY TIME DOING ANYTHING BUT SEEN WITH YOU! HE ALWAYS TREATED ME RIGHT WHEN WE WERE BEST FRIENDS AND WHEN WE DATED! HE'S THE BEST MAN EVER AND I--"just before valencia could continue or pause to defend herself, matthew went crazy and picked up a glass vase 

because, the moment valencia realised that matthew had picked up the glass vase, it was too late. matthew had thrown the glass vase and it had struck valencia in the head, causing her to wobble back, smashing into the wall behind her. 

she fell unconscious as she slid from the wall to the ground almost lifelessly, blood pouring from the back of her head. the glass that was on the ground now cutting into her skin, causing even more blood to trickle its way down the unconscious valencia's paling body. matthew didn't even stop to realise what he did wrong and sprinted out of the house just as nicky was walking in for a catch-up between he and valencia that matthew had allowed for the sake of keeping his girlfriend happy - not because he liked nicky. 

matthew didn't even react that he had injured his girlfriend until he heard the dublin accent that he had so very familiarised from nicky and his eyes widened as the west-end performer sprinted from the house. 

"...matthew? are you alright ma...oh my god, valencia!" nicky jolted back slightly as matthew ran past him, kicking the dubliner on his shoulder, his eyes widening the moment he noticed the scene in front of him 

grabbing his phone from his pocket, nicky wasted no second in dialling 999 for an ambulance and the police, "...no, no, val, valencia! ahh, crap....come on, pick up, pick up! please help me!" nicky was hysterical within seconds of the 999 operator picking up his phone call 

with all the possible information that was obvious from just the scene in front of him, nicky gave it all to the dispatcher who then sent out the ambulance and police vehicle with lights and sirens flashing. thanking the female dispatcher, ending the call since he could hear the sirens coming down the street, nicky threw his phone to the ground, the phone just stopping before it fell into one of the few puddles of blood. as he then leant his back against the wall where valencia was and picked her up, cradling her in his lap. 

swaying the both of them lightly from side to side, nicky tried to keep the both of them calm and valencia as awake as possible as the sirens halted sound as did the flashing lights, meaning the paramedics and police had arrived. 

"...cmon val, it's okay darling. just keep your pretty eyes open, it's nicky, you're safe..." nicky whispered in a soft, surprisingly calm tone of voice as valencia suddenly squirmed before calming down from the pain of her injury and the fact that she was safe and it was nicky holding her, matthew nowhere to be found 

"what..what happened? did...did matthew hit me?" groggy, valencia attempted to ask what had happened, well wanting to know if what happened did happen and she wasn't dreaming as nicky gave a small smile 

"yeah babe, matthew hit you. that and he threw a glass vase at your head which caused you to fall back into the wall...but it's okay, matthew's gone and i'm here and the paramedics and police are just walking in now, okay, you're safe," nicky stayed calm as valencia nodded her head as best as she could which made nicky relax a little better 

immediately, the paramedics went over to check on valencia as nicky stood up and slipped behind them so as not to be in the way. he felt tears well in his eyes as he watched his best friend get prodded and poked and asked so many questions that the poor thing could barely keep up with their questions. 

"...valencia, darling, can you please let us help you? my name is sammy and this is angel, we're paramedics and we are here to help you and to treat your injuries..." sammy, the male paramedic repeated for a second time to valencia who was slipping between awake and sleep 

"...am i okay? where...where's nicky?" valencia panicked, no longer about to see nicky as sammy and angel decided that they needed to work quickly and to keep valencia as responsive or as long as they possibly could 

"valencia, nicky is still here, he's just talking to the police, and yes, you are okay, you've just got a head injury and small non-fatal lacerations scattered across your upper body, arms and legs. your head injury is our biggest concern so, could you please tell us your name, even though we already know it?" angel then asks as valencia blinks, thinking for a moment but it seemed as if nothing was registering in her mind other than nicky 

"uh...umm.i..my..." the first and second try she doesn't get it but, by the third try, she manages to mumble her name out 

"...val..valencia...my name is valencia, i'm...i'm 20 and my...my boyfriend matthew d'angelo and i got into an argument and he...he hit me a couple of times after threatening too and then he...he picked up the glass vase and hit my over the head with it as i then fell back, hitting my head again on the wall..." valencia wangles out as the paramedics and nicky, who was teary-eyed, smiled in shock with widened eyes as they listened to valencia remember every single detail of the accident 

nicky could barely deal with anyone treating valencia with that much disrespect but, it shocked him so much more that it was matthew because he was supposedly in love with her and he trusted matthew to take care of her and he didn't. 

"...well done, valencia. thank you for the information..." sammy thanked as valencia smiled in return when sammy's attention went back to angel 

"...angel, i think the only thing we can do is just get valencia into the ambulance and to the hospital, she is back and forth from consciousness even though she does remember her name and what happened, there's still a chance that something bad could happen..." sammy concluded as angel agreed straight away, sammy moving forward and picking up valencia in his arms, carrying her bridal style towards to stretcher as they then proceed to wheel her out to the ambulance 

nicky then quickly followed after them into the ambulance, obviously his last thought on the glass shards on the floor and the fact he was covered in his ex-girlfriend/best friend's blood, sammy closed the back of the ambulance before jumping onto the front seat, flooring down the street to the nearest hospital as angel and nicky sat in the back with valencia. 

"...nicky, if there is anyone, could you possibly get into contact with them about valencia's condition and tell them to meet us at the st vincent's university hospital, it's the closest one?" angel spoke up as she continued to monitor valencia's vitals, nicky nodding his head as he immediately grabs his phone and messages the first person he thinks of; kian egan from westlife 

kiano 

hey, kian, could you and the guys meet valencia and me at st vincents university hospital, please? 

why, what happened? 

nicholas, what the fuck happened? 

you were only supposed to go and visit valencia and matthew, what did that cock sucker do? 

no, valencia isn't okay. and yes, i was only supposed to visit them but, the moment i got there, matthew basically legged it when i then noticed what had happened. i walked in further to see that matthew had hit valencia over the head with a glass vase, she couldn't move out of the way quickly enough. now, i don't exactly know what they were fighting about since i didn't hear it but, the police did take statements from neighbours. all i can say is that they were definitely fighting again. 

again? jesus christ, how many more times are they going to fight and she's going to keep on going back to him? i feel so awful for her, she doesn't deserve this! 

how far away are you guys from the hospital in the ambulance? thankfully, shane, mark and i haven't let for sligo yet so we won't take too long and obviously, bryan will bring gill and kerry with him 

the ambulance is like three minutes away, meet me in waiting room three! the hospital will place her in the icu considering it's a head injury 

oh, you best be there we'll be there in two! stay safe and, nicky, stay calm, valencia is a strong girl and matthew, the fucker, is going to pay for this!

thank you kian, i'll see you and the lads in waiting room three! 

kiano has read nicky's message 

nicky now felt less agitated knowing that when he got to the hospital, his bandmates and friends were also going to be there as well. knowing he wasn't going to be alone really gave nicky some comfort as he now just had to deal with the thought that the person that he thought loved his best friend and ex-girlfriend would even think to do this to her, not just this once but all the countless other times. 

from what nicky saw of matthew and heard of him, he was really kind, funny, enthusiastic, sarcastic, a talented actor, a bit of a jerk and petty when he purposefully would either mispronounce or call someone by the wrong name and pretty possessive when drunk but overall, he was a great guy. sure, as mentioned, he did make some uncomfortable and inexcusable comments when drunk but, maybe valencia got uncomfortable due to never seeing it before that night when she returned back to new york for westlife's american showcase. matthew isn't a bad guy, right...right?

*

a couple of weeks go by since valencia was first brought into the hospital by ambulance when she was starting to regain full consciousness again. after many ct scans and x-rays, it had been ruled out that valencia's memory or head injury was not a serious concern anymore, she was moved out from the icu and into a different room on the first floor. all she needed was regular pain medication to stop any internal and external swelling. 

the entire time that valencia was confined to her icu room in the hospital, nicky and the rest of the westlife family were there also. they never actually wanted to leave due to the heavy risk of matthew coming in and attempting to apologise for what he did so, they never left and the hospital staff allowed it. for a while, especially at the beginning of valencia's time at the hospital, just the mention of matthew's name would make valencia stress out which would then cause trauma to her head injury which was something they were heavily trying to avoid. 

valencia was beyond grateful to nicky, kian, shane, mark, bryan, kerry and gillian for never leaving her bedside and staying in her room with her. she was grateful because it made her feel safe in knowing that her best friends weren't ever leaving her side, no matter who she chose to fall in love with or out of love with. even if she only started to realise it now, in a hospital bed out of the icu that it was the wrong person. 

"...nicky..." valencia mumbled, filling out the silence as she had just finished some testing which caused her to be a little drugged and groggy, nicky smiled at hearing his name 

"...yeah, what's up, valencia?" nicky responded softly, quickly turning to face her again as he grabbed her hand to hold, making the drowsy girl smile at the connection 

"was...were the police actually able to find out what happened? what did matthew and i actually fight about?" valencia questioned, shocking nicky to his core, his eyes wide

since the accident, nicky and the entire group had been quite apprehensive about telling the full story of what matthew did. since for some reason, maybe due to a trauma response, valencia could remember everything else about what happened but the actual fight that led up to her injuries 

and the reason being was that, a couple of days after being transferred to the hospital, nicky received a phone call from the police that had been dispatched out on his 999 call. and told him that they not only had found and apprehended matthew but his statement of events lined up basically identically to every single one of the witness statements from the surrounding neighbours who had heard the two of them fighting. and, now, valencia wanted to be told? this worried everyone but no one was more worried than nicky himself was. 

"val...valencia, are you sure you want me to tell you? what he did was horrific..." nicky trailed off, fighting back his own tears as valencia slowly nodded her head yes 

seeing the head nod, nicky breathed in as the others braced themselves as nicky was the only one to be given that phone call with the information from the police. 

"...please, nicky. i...i wanna know and i'm ready, besides, i deserve to know, don't i?" valencia was certain that she wanted to know and she made it clear, nicky nodded his head as he then held his hand out for his best friend to hold, which she reciprocated straight away 

"...okay, umm, just to preface this, this is what i was told by the police and what they were told by him and the witnesses that heard it..." however, it seemed as though nicky no longer needed to tell the story since whatever trauma response was stopping valencia from remembering before was gone and she remembered 

her eyes widened as she squeezed nicky's hand tighter, "...i...oh my god...i remember what we were fighting over!" she called out, making nicky turn his head up again, in a bit of shock but a little bit glad since that was the one thing the police were a bit iffy about telling him 

"what was the fight over?" nicky hummed quietly as the rest of the group all nervously awaited to hear it, not expecting to be told what valencia was about to tell them 

valencia never imagined she'd be embarrassed saying this but she was, making eye contact with nicky, "it...the fight was over you, nico..." the injured girl then turned her head back down to her hands that rested in the hospital sheets as nicky sat in shock, the fight was over him? 

"...it...the fight was over me?" nicky could feel his breathing pick up as valencia nodded her head slowly as she continued the story further, remembering other things that nicky had already been told by the police that the rest were hearing for the first time

"mhm, it was because i couldn't stop talking about you to matthew. he...he must have thought i was cheating on him and that we were dating behind his back or something and, he...he told me to stop talking about you as he then started to talk crap about you..." valencia paused as nicky's jaw tensed up as he gulped down some saliva that he was almost about to choke on 

the others were listening in pure shock, "...i, of course, defended you, saying you look at me the way you do because you did date me for three years and that we are still best friends, so i didn't take any care at how you looked at me as that's how you have always looked at me, even before we dated. i told matthew i loved him, though it was with hesitation and i think that's what made him even madder as that was when he started to yell, saying that i didn't love him and that i...that i still loved you, nicky..." the drowsy girl trailed off again as she licked her lips as she continued, nicky lightly caressing her hand in comfort with his thumb 

"...and, that...what was when i said it. i shouted it actually, telling him that he was correct...i...i do still love you, nicky. i...*sigh* i never stopped loving you, nicky, i seriously didn't. i then explained to matthew that the reason why we broke up was because of the timing of us always being so busy with westlife and the west end and that was what was getting in the way of our relationship, not that we didn't love each other and that i talk about you so much because you are incredible nicky, you truly are!" once again, valencia paused so she could catch her breath and take a swig of water before continuing, nicky remaining engaged and listening, everyone else in silent shock 

"i then continued on saying how you always treated me right, not just when we dated but as best friends and, i know i shouldn't have but, it was all i could think to say. and that was what drove him over the edge but i just kept on going and kept on pushing him by saying how much of an amazing person you are when he just couldn't handle it anymore and...and then he picked up the glass vase and he threw it at me...and i didn't realise he had thrown it before it was too late and bam, it hit me right in the back of the head and i just, fell and slid down the wall, the shards of glass underneath me cutting into me..." valencia trailed off, most especially after mentioning that she was still in love with nicky, even after she had convinced herself that she had moved on from her best friend even when she hadn't ever really planned to do that 

this had obviously caught nicky breathless as he tried to form a coherent sentence, "...val...valencia, you...still love me?" he stammered out as the drowsy, medically drugged-up girl nodded her head as her lip quivered 

"oh my gosh, nicholas, yes! matthew broke my heart, maybe even more than my heart actually! nico, this wasn't the first fight matthew and i had had! it was maybe at least the tenth or something crazy stupid like that. those photos included in that smash hits magazine cover were taken ages ago and before kayleene's wedding which was before we flew over to visit you guys in new york when i first introduced you to matthew. as soon as kayleene's wedding finished and you and i started hanging out more frequently when you returned from america, we had just hit breaking point, matthew and i. it was always, always matthew accusing me of something, never me accusing him because i trusted and loved him enough to think that he wouldn't hurt me or break my heart. but, i've ended up in the hospital which is just as worse. i...i am so sorry i never told you or confirmed your guys' suspicions, i...i was just scared, so scared that matthew would hurt me if he found out i was trying to ask you guys for help or for a way out," valencia trailed off, a small single tear escaping from the corner of her eye to her cheek, nicky wiping it away 

nicky was also silently crying, he couldn't believe that anyone would ever think of putting someone as sweet and loving as valencia through so much pain and heartache. and in all honesty, he never stopped loving valencia either. of course, the break-up at the time was for the best and maybe this is what was supposed to come out of the breakup but, they both wished that it wasn't having to happen in a hospital room. 

and if he breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that i'll be waiting here, for you

nicky and valencia sat in silence with one another just staring at each other, consoling each other and wiping away each other's tears. everyone watching on saw the love and infatuation, the same one they always had for each other, spark all over again as if it never faded. valencia never stopped loving nicky, she was just waiting for the right time so she and nicky could meet back up again at the perfect roadblock and start from where they had left off. 

and that's actually what they ended up doing and, it was like love at first sight again for the two of them. 

"...i love you, valencia, i never stopped loving you..." 

"...i love you too, nicky, i never stopped loving you either!" 

six months later

smash hits

NICKY BYRNE, WESTLIFE POP STAR AND VALENCIA CALLAHAN ARE BACK IN LOVE AGAIN! SPOTTED DANCING, KISSING AND LOVING ON EACH OTHER AT SISTER'S WEDDING! 

KENDRA BECKNER | EDITOR  AUGUST, 2000

do we hear wedding bells? yes, we do but, it wasn't for our favourite power couple but for another sister of one-half of our favourite power couple! okay, we've all been screaming and crying at the news that nicky byrne of westlife and valencia callahan of west end's grease has gotten back together and dating again. however, these new and exclusive photos and interviews have come from those in attendance at katerina callahan's, valencia's older sister's wedding to her new beau, west-end star noah vasquez. 

katerina is the eldest sister of the callahan sister clan with kayleene, the other older sister that got married earlier in the year as the second oldest with valencia being the youngest sister of the three girls. and, katerina was the first person our smash hits reporters talked to in regard to the rekindling of nicky and valencia's romance and, we're here for the way in which mrs vasquez talks about her littlest sister and byrne. 

"nicky is fantastic...he is such a sweetheart, such a charmer but he's also such a gentleman and the way he treats valencia, my little angel is the only way in which she deserves to be treated. so, knowing that they're back in their new and improved but still old relationship at my wedding is definitely a dream coming true..."  quote by katerina callahan vasquez, valencia's older sister 

kayleene callahan-rhodes, who was also at her older sister's wedding with her husband, bailey callahan-rhodes, also had a super sweet thing to say about her little sister valencia and nicky and, honestly, get those tissues out because it is a tearjerker. 

"honestly, there's no one else in the world that i'd want to see my sister with other than nicky byrne! they are the best couple in the entire world, nicky doesn't hurt her, make her uncomfortable or do things to or with her that she is unsure of. he is patient and knows when he's crossed a line. what a lad, i mean, i truthfully think, and this isn't me bashing me or katerina's husbands but, i genuinely think that nicky is the best partner out of the three of them and both bailey and noah agree. and, also, our parents and younger siblings all love nicky so, i mean, we all i think cried when we were told they first broke up but rejoiced when they got back together after valencia was discharged from the hospital and fully recovered. i just hope that the next wedding i'm a bridesmaid in that it's valencia and nicky's!" quote by kayleene callahan, valencia's other older sister 

katerina and her husband noah vasquez | pic: photography by ellie jameson 

for those who didn't know, before breaking up, valencia and nicky had dated for three years before that, starting their relationship in the year 1997 to when it ended in january of this year in 2000. however, the two little lovebirds have known each other since they were young cherubs back home in their lovely hometown of baldoyle, dublin. valencia was of course famous before nicky was known in not just the football world but then the pop world with westlife. but when westlife was formed, when they were first known as westside, valencia was said to be the first west-girlfriend. which, she now shares with shane filan's girlfriend, cousin of bandmate kian egan, business graduate, gillian walsh and bryan mcfadden's girlfriend, atomic kitten's, kerry katona.

when valencia dated her ex-boyfriend, there had been rumours sparking about nicky potentially talking with the taoiseach bertie ahern's daughter, georgina ahern. however, after speaking with both ahern and byrne, they both confirmed that whilst they were talking, it wasn't anything romantic, just friends catching up as it was later revealed that those three, ahern, byrne and callahan were all best friends in high school together. byrne and ahern were purely just catching up after drifting apart, ahern also wanting to comfort her best friends after their break up. 

talking with our smash hits reporters at katerina's wedding reception during cocktail hour, both valencia and nicky shared with us their joy of getting back together after valencia's last relationship that was abusive and caused her a hospital trip. thankfully, both were happy and elated to talk with us so, here is what they had to say. 

"...oh, i am absolutely overjoyed to be with nicky in a relationship again. he is truly the best partner in the entire world. he is sweet, he is cheeky, he is loving, he is caring, but most importantly, he is so patient. and he understands that i'm still mentally and still in someway physically, recovering from the last relationship that i was in for a couple of months that ended with me being in the hospital that i was just discharged from not too long ago. and nicky's been brilliant the entire time of my recovery, actually, so has his entire family. but, yeah, with nicky, getting back into the swing of our relationship was so easy and it just felt like i was going back home again. i know most couples who break up stay as exes for a reason but, with nicky, there was always a way for us to come back home to one another" quote by valencia callahan, nicky byrne's girlfriend 

"...being back with valencia is like she said, going back home again and as cheesy as it sounds, it's seriously the most truthful thing ever! valencia is the best girlfriend in the whole entire world and, i'm just so glad that whilst we did fix some things in our relationship with one of them being that we were the priority, not our jobs, it was still the same relationship that we had had for three years before we split up. valencia is genuinely the funniest, sexiest, most talented person i have ever met and honestly, i could cry over her because of how much i love her and how much i am truly happier being with her again," quote by nicky byrne, valencia callahan's boyfriend 

even though we do love valencia and nicky, we also love the newly married couple, mr and mrs noah and katerina vasquez, here is a gallery of photos of the newly married couple and of nicky and valencia at the vasquez's wedding: 

gallery 60+ photos: click here

and if he breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that i'll be waiting here, for you and he was waiting there for her and, nicky finally got his girl back safe and sound.

fin

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