I also never said I would stop at only one AU either!
This time it's for @elsa-fogen 's "Turned Human AU"! Again, amazing comic CHECK IT OUT
RadioSilence and a bit of RadioApple sorry -but not too much! Just Lucifer forgetting how to English when seeing Human!Alastor (to be fair, who wouldn't?)
And sorry for potential mistakes, English isn't my first language
Sooooo.
...Charlie may have fucked up.
Actually no. She fucked up. Bad.
Now don't get her wrong: Vaggi love her girlfriend. Adore her. She would burn both Heaven and Hell for her.
But even she can see that... yeah, Charlie fucked up on that one.
It started innocent enough; her girlfriend just wanted to use a spell that could turn the both of them into humans for a week. To understand them better, or so she said. So they could help them redeem themselves easier by knowing how living as a human feels like.
...Well. Vaggi always knew her girlfriend was creative. But she thought there wouldn't be any downside to try right?
Oh how wrong they both were.
She should have known something would go wrong when Charlie poured way too much magic for a simple spell after some failed attempts. But she just brushed it off and they both went to sleep.
...Only to be woken up by loud, extremely confused shouts of "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!"
-Well, that was the main feeling they could get from this-
So they went down and...
Oh.
Welp. This was going to be fun to fix.
~0o0~
The day at started... fine enough.
As fine as it can get since Angel have left the hotel at least.
The bartender went (not without wobbling, but he chalked that up to the hangover. He hadn't been sober since... Well. Since the spider left) to get himself a drink -yeah it's six am, so what?- and gulped the first one in one go. Then he went to pour himself another one and-
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!"
Uh. Kinda sounded like Cherri Bomb... Wait.
He frowned. Put the glass down, and looked towarfs the sound of the voice to see...
Holy fucking shit is that a human?
Here? In Hell? How the fuck did THAT happened- wait.
"...Cherri?" he tried, which got the woman to turned around.
Oh fuck.
Oh fuck it's actually Cherri Bomb.
And she's human.
What.
"Husk? she asked, frowning. Well, guess I'm not the only one stuck in THAT particular shitshow."
Wait what was she talking ab-
Oh goddamnit.
He looked down and- yep. No fur, no paws, just good ol' human hands. He put one of them behind him- no feathers. No tail.
...Well that explain the hard time walking around. He've been so used to walk with additional weight on his back and a tail for balance that now that those were... gone? (hopefully temporarly) it was like walking on a string.
"Well shit. he said. Didn't even noticed- you know what happened?"
"No clue! I just woke up like that!"
...Uh. Well that was weird.
"HUUUUUUSK"
The bartender turned and got a small missile hitting him on the stomache.
"Ow fuck! What the hell you- he blinked. ...Niffty?"
The small cyclop that he used to know was now a small red-haired woman in her usual attire (thanks Lucifer for THAT) and hairs covering one of her eyes.
"Hey- hey Niff. he tried to pat her back. You doing okay there?"
"Nooooo! she whined. Now I'm too big to clean under the furnitures!"
...Oh. Yeah of course. Always had weird priorities.
"Hey uh... It's going to be okay. I'm sure we're gonna be back to normal soon."
Well, as normal as it can get in this crazy hotel.
"Someone should probably go and get Charlie. Cherri said. Also where's Baxter?"
"I tried to get him, but he locked himself into his room! Niffty puffed. Giggling and... taking notes I think?"
"Riiiiight."
The guy was probably already wracking his brain to understand what caused this.
"Guys! I heard screaming! Is everything okaaaay?"
Well, speak of the devil (or his daughter) and he shall appear.
Charlie was running down the stairs and stopped dead in her tracks upon seeing them, followed closely by Vaggi.
"Hey Charlie! Have any idea what the FUCK is going on?"
Well Cherri was straight to the point... wait.
The princess and the fallen angel looked... really uncomfortable? Husker frowned.
"You did this shit?"
"W-Well! Definitely NOT on purpose! she tried with a nervous grin. I was just... trying to turn myself and Vaggi into humans to... you know, understand sinners better! But I kept trying, and trying, and trying, and I put all my magic here but it didn't work but-"
"Oh, au contraire my dear, I would say it worked way more than you could hope for!"
At the new voice, everyone looked up at the balcony to see...
"Alastor?!"
~0o0~
The moment he woke up he felt something was wrong.
His vision was blurrier than it was supposed to be- in Hell he only ever had needed a monocle because only one of his eye got to struggle.
But right now... Why, he hadn't such a poor vision since he was alive!
He got up carefully- no restrains, no sounds out of the ordinary, he was still in his bayou... but why on Earth (or rather in Hell) did he got that distinct feeling that something was deeply wrong with him?
...And then he looked down.
And despite all the blurriness, he could clearly see that his arm was... not pure black fading to a light brown- but just brown.
Like before
Alright, he needed to get his monocle, posthaste.
What he grabbed instead though, was his old pair of glasses. They were like back then too!
He carefully put them on, got up and looked at himself.
His human face glared back.
"...Well that certainly interesting." he mused, noticing that he -obviously- didn't had the radio effect on it like usual.
He grabbed his staff, and by curiosity called on his powers... nothing. Or almost-
His Shadow was still very much sentient. It waved at him, although weaker.
"Now what could possibly have happened hm...? he waved at his Shadow. Be a dear and check if I am the only one suffering from this... little inconvenience will you?"
The Shadow quickly disappeared, and came back and he used that time to get dressed up. Shaking its head, it grinned brightly.
Alright, so he wasn't alone in this predicament. There was that at least.
"Well then. Time to see if our dear princess or her father are responsible for this."
He was about to leave but then paused.
"Oh my, I almost forgot!"
He grinned brightly.
"Much better. Well then, on with the show!"
~0o0~
Holy fucking shit.
Now, don't get Cherri wrong. She's... kind of already taken...? In a relationship...? Long distance? Anyway, she was already into Pentious!
But damn, never in her afterlife she would have expected THE Radio Demon -the Overlord, Strongest Sinner in Hell yada yada...- to look so fucking good?
Hello?
The guy was just straight up hot as fuck that was unfair!
She could tell that everyone (well okay maybe not those exact thoughts...) were thinking the same thing.
Damn, Hell did him dirty!
Also his voice was kinda sexy without the radio filter- MOVING ON.
She looked around and... Yep, everyone was looking shocked.
Well at least there was one good thing coming out of this shithole- she'll have to try stealing a pic or two, she needed to remember this!
(Makes her wonder how Pentious looked like when he was alive... Damn it she miss him)
~0o0~
"Alastor?"
"Why yes, how lovely of you to recognize me in a heartbeat my dear." he grinned.
He had to fight to keep it on. Now he knew that they were mostly just surprised to see his human form, but he couldn't help tensing up.
They were all white people.
Old instincts kicked in, and he had to fight to look as nonchalent as usual.
He still owned Husker's and Niffty's souls, they wouldn't dare make a comment about his skin color surely. Charlie was too naive and optimistic and probably didn't know about this. Cherri Bomb... Might be a problem, depending on when she died.
He'll have to keep a close eye on her, just in case.
The Radio Demon -and he was, he still was the one that made all of Hell cower in fear when he pass by on the street!- made his way down with the same nonchalent attitude they knew him for.
"You sound different." said Vaggi.
He rolled his eyes.
"Why yes, you didn't believe I was speaking in radio static back when I was alive did you now?"
The fallen angel scoffed.
"Fair enough."
"Ah but enough of that. If I understood correctly, our dear princess is the reason of our current predicament isn't that correct?"
Charlie grimaced.
"Yeaaaah... I'm sorry! I just wanted to turned myself and Vaggi into humans, not all of you!"
"Well, can ya undo it?" the bartender gruffed.
"I can try...?"
And, to her credit, she did! Tried, and tried, and tried until she didn't had any magic left, and was being held up by her girlfriend.
"Maybe your dad can?" Cherri Bomb proposed.
"Oh yeah!"
So the princess called up her father, which of course immediatly teleported in the hall once he heard the "Dad I need you" in his dear daughter voice.
~0o0~
"Char-Char! What is it apple pie I'm here to-!"
Lucifer blinked. And looked again, and blinked.
"Wooooow uh... Okay, that's new. he frowned. What happened?"
"I... maaay have messed up a spell. she grinned awkwardly. I wanted to turned myself and Vaggi into humans to, you know, understand them better! So I can help them redeem themselves! But... it kind of backfired...? And now everyone's human again, but I can't fix it, and I tried, and I tried, and I-"
"Wow wow wow there! Charlie slow down, I got it. It's okay kiddo."
He gently patted her head.
"Eh, you should have seen it when I messed up my spells. Took my three brothers to fix it up that one time I turned the moon into cheese! at her face he chuckled. It's a long story."
"As fascinating as that is, we would appreciate if you could turn us back to what we were Your Majesty."
Oh great. The bellhop is- wait a minute.
There wasn't the static. Which... come to think of it, made sense.
(Why did his voice had to sound so good though? No fair!)
He turned around with a frown.
"Well I'll have you know that I didn't asked for your opinion Bam-"
He froze.
God fucking damn it why does he look so handsome?
Also uh. He actually had brown skin. Interesting... Shit his hairs look really fluffy. He kinda want to pet it- but he know better than to try, the psycho would most definitely bite his hand off!
Wait shit he stopped in his sentence didn't he? Considering the raised eyebrow and the grin -of course he was smiling even when he wasn't a deer- Alastor was waiting for the rest of it.
"A-Anyway! Yeah didn't asked for your opinion bellhop! he scoffed. But to answer your question, no I can't."
"What, why?"
"Ducky, spells have magic signatures. he ruffled her hairs (take THAT Alastor!). Meaning that only the caster of it can undo it. Think of it like a lock and key. Only one key for one lock."
"But I already tried, and it didn't work! What can I do?"
"Hold on babe. Do you remember what your spell thing was? It was supposed to turned into humans for one week. So..."
"So if we wait one week, you think everything will be back to normal?"
"Beats you dropping dead of exhaustion by trying over and over to fix it." Maggie shrugged.
A silence fell, before Alastor hummed.
"And... do you believe that little spell of yours only affects us, or...?"
Lucifer frowned at the implications, and Charlie paled.
"You think-?"
"One way to find out." the bartender said -that was the bartender right? He had the same gruffy voice- and turned on the TV.
...Yup.
The reporters on the news were humans. And freaking about it too.
This just in: An emergency meeting have been called upon by Carmilla Carmine to all the Overlords about the present situation. More on the meeting on tonight's broadcast-
"Well then! It seems I must bit you all goodbye." the Radio Demon was already leaving.
"You gonna share the info with the class Bambi?" he frowned.
"Why of course! It wouldn't do to have all of Hell panicking over something that by all means should be temporary, correct?"
"Good point... And tell them I'm sorry!" his precious daughter yelled just before Alastor went out the door.
Dead silence followed.
"...So who's up for pancakes?"
~0o0~
How dearly does he miss his shadow teleportation.
Now, he can see that everyone is panicking. Running around like headless chickens as a matter of fact- paying no mind to him at all, which as of right now was quite the relief.
Just look in control. None of these idiots would be stupid enough to pick a fight with you once they recognize you.
Just in case, he passed by Rosie's place first. She of course, knew how he looked like, so she wasn't surprised to see him. And despite him managing to break their deal, they were still cordial around each other.
She gladly accepted to go to the meeting together, and so they went. Discussing about how things were in Cannibal Town; apparently everyone was losing its mind over the access to human meat again (hey demonic meat was different okay? It had a more... sour and spicy flavor to it.) and killing left, right and center. When it wasn't killing, it was amputations -consenting ones of course!- and pretty much everyone was in a frenzy.
"My, it certainly looks like you have your work cut for you my dear!" he chuckled.
"Oh, don't remind me! I was never that busy since the whole Kowari tribe! Hm?"
"OUT OF MY WAY! Important people walking here!"
Alastor let out an annoyed hiss at the contact, before noticing who exactly had just pushed him so rudely.
"Oh Alastor sweetie, are you alright?"
"That was Vox wasn't it?"
His eyes turned pink.
"...That was Vox."
"Oh, you're alright!"
Well at least Rosie had her priorities straight.
So, Vox was no longer a flat screen. How sad.
What would happen if he beheaded him in this form he wondered...?
"Alastor? We're going to be late."
He grinned.
"Right behind you my dear."
~0o0~
They sat down just in time for the start of the meeting. Carmilla took a deep breath, and started to speak.
"Fellow Overlords, we are all today because of the recent turn of events. All of Hell is in a panic. Souls are running wild, and it is our duty to keep the peace as much as possible."
"Yeah yeah, we all know why we're here. You don't have to spell it out."
Hm, if the disinterested expression and the phone were any indications, then this was most likely Velvette. Alastor took note.
He recognized Vox of course -the fool looks like he wanted to be anywhere but here. How ironic considering how rushed he was.
And next to him was Valentino. He would recognize those ugly glasses everywhere.
Next up... Hm. That man in the back... oh.
Well, his mustache reminded him of Zestial quite a bit. But oddly enough he imagined him to be quite older.
It looked like Vox was the oldest in the room, how... odd.
And then-
"Ah! You look even older as a woman!"
Of course, Velvette couldn't stop provoking.
"And you must have messed up, daycare is two floors below! she spat. Someone younger than thirty shouldn't be an Overlord!"
What was that?
"Excuse me?" he frowned, glaring at Carmilla (he could feel Rosie do the same, although she was smiling.)
Funnily enough, Carmilla looked quite confused at first. So he tapped his staff just in case. And-
"...Alastor?"
"At last, my dear! he made a fake bow. Why, I would think you never recognized me at this rate."
...Uh. Why did everyone went silent?
"Holy fucking shit, Al?!"
At the voice, he sighed.
"I believe we already established that fact yes, Vincent." he turned to face the former TV.
~0o0~
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
Now don't get Vox wrong, he always found Alastor attractive. Besides, the guy had an aura- which often made people run for the hills when they see him.
But THIS?
Holy sweet baby Jesus this was another level!
He could see from the corner of his eyes Velvette snapping a few pictures -very fair honestly. He'll have to ask her to save him some.
Even VAL was speechless, and that was saying something! He hadn't been surprised when he saw Angel's human form!
Despite being dark skin he's pulling that off better than anyone else he ever saw!
...But also what was that about being below thirty? Fuck he feel like a creep now.
Oh wait. He could see Velvette whispering to him. Maybe she could convince him to pose for a few pictures.
~0o0~
Pictures?
Alastor blinked, a bit confused about Velvette's... proposition.
"Oh come on! It'll be fun. See, I'm gonna post the picture, and asking people to guess which Overlord this is. she grinned. It's going to be hilarious! No way in hell people will guess you. You look too hot for that!"
...Hm.
"Well, why not. he grinned. We all are powerless as of now, so might get some entertainment out of this."
"Now you're talking!"
He generously let her fix his clothes (her words. She just unbuttoned some of his jacket's buttons, and took away his staff -which would have been a dead giveaway.) and smiled for the camera.
She took two of those, and he had fun with the second one he'll admit. He couldn't let it be too easy now!
After that, he turned back to Carmilla.
"Now now my dear. I have the informations about our... current predicament."
"You do?"
"Why yes. You see, our dear princess tried a spell to turn herself and her little girlfriend into humans, to "see what it's like". Unfortunately, it failed... or rather, it backfired."
"So the little bimbo princesa is responsible for this?!"
Alastor shot Valentino a dirty grin.
"It was an honest mistake. Contrary to some people here, she didn't try to take over Heaven."
That made Vox shrink to look as small as possible, and Valentino tisked.
Zestial quickly ended the argument before it could broke out.
"So... Is she able to turn us back?"
"Unfortunately, no. She tried for a good while, without avail. But, her spell was made to be temporary. In a week of time, it should have dissipated."
"I see. Now then, we must pass the message to the rest of Hell."
"On it."
Velvette was already taping on her phone.
"I will also created some broadcasts about it." the Radio Demon waved his hand.
"...We'll make sure to pass the news." Vox looked like he bit a lemon.
"Very well. This meeting is over!"
Before they left, Velvette went to him.
"Time for the big reveal! Ready to see Hell losing its fucking shit?"
"Why that sound quite amusing. Here, allow me to help them believe it."
He grinned, and summoned his Shadow. That earned a raised eyebrow from the other Overlord, but she took the picture, and posted it.
"Now, we wait." she giggled.
It took less than a minute. Curiously, Alastor looked over her shoulder, and couldn't help himself- he laughed.
Okay, it was quite entertaining to see demons losing their minds everywhere (although SOME messages made him grimace) about how he actually looked like.
No one commented on his skin color. Nobody was being a racist douchebag...
Which... actually made sense. Velvette was even more dark skin than he was, and those were the ones that followed her. So he supposed it was to be expected. Still, it made him feel a bit better.
"Why, that is quite entertaining indeed! he chuckled. However I'm afraid I cannot stay long. I have broadcasts to share! We will see each other again next week my dear."
"Sure thing! Sounds fun!"
He came back to the hotel with his everlasting grin on his face- except that this time it was a bit more geniune than when he left.
hello, i had a mental breakdown again but hERE WE ARE, STILL STANDING AND READY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD 'CUZ GOMENS RENEWED FOR THE THIRD AND LAST SEASON
not some "light" clothed curvy woman with big ass and boobs that talks like she's running out of air. Or some muscled well-formed manly man shirtless demon.
these are gross, not charming at all, dirty ugly gross demons, and i'm grateful for that.
I know who Crowley was in heaven :)) (Good Omens Theory)
To the one that asked for this theory, i'm sorry for the delay, i tried my best to re-write this and for it to have sense.
So, we all know that Crowley is well known between both heaven and hell, being demonstrated by a couples of characters over the series.
today i'll be talking exclusevely about how season two neil gave us quite a lot of Clues (☆A Clue☆)
In the beggining, when Crowley met Azi (gonna talk about them later) for the very first time, he said that he worked very close with upstairs in the creation of the universe, nebulas, planets and stars.
Later in the show, when crowley talks with saraquel, she says that they worked together in one of the nebulas, to wich crowley answers "i met a lot of people"
Also, from hell's side, when Furfur mentioned that they gought toghether in the great war, and tried to make Crowley remember him
(btw, this is the best crowley look)
AND in that same scene, when Furfur is trying to say Azi's name, he pulls out a book, and, IN THAT SAME PAGE we can read the name of other angel, a little bit blury, but we can still differentiate a name
That name is Baraqiel
The book says that Baraqiel is the Angel of the Sky, with an eye-birning ginger hair. It also says that Baraqiel is a Dominion, and you'll say "Oh, Amelia, but we don't know what a Dominion is :c"
Well, in easy words, a Dominion is like the conector between upstairs and earth, thry communicate upper angel's orders to lower angels (and sometimes humans)
And again "But Amelia, how do we inow if Crowley was Baraquiel if we don't know what was his charge?" And I'll answer, "well darling, actually, an angel gave us a really good ☆Clue☆, one of the lowest angels known as Muriel (ma baby) leaded the thin dark duke to heaven, miracled the Gabriel documents to him but couldn't open them because:
"You have to be a Throne, a Dominion or avobe"
and he opened it 'cuz he knew the password... right.
Oh, and about Aziraphale and their ever first meeting<3
Azi seemed very exited, trying to predent himself almost instantly after "recognizing" the starmaker angel, and trying to be as helpfull as possible when that lovely angel asked him for, well, help <3
Even thinking that the "you're gorgeous" was for them<3<3
So, let's summarize:
★Baraqiel had "ginger" hair, Crowley has red hair.
★Baraqiel is the Angel of the Sky. Crowley literaly worked in the creation of the whole universe.
★Baraqiel is a Dominion, wich means they had communication with upper powers of heaven and maybe even God herself, and gave orders to lower angels often, being known in almost all heaven and maybe even between humans.
★Crowley seems to be well known between both heaven and hell, not only vecause it's,,, idk,, THE serpent of eden, but because many angels might have worked with him in the creation of universe (such as saraqael/saraquiel/saraqel idk how it's spelled)
★Only Thrones, Dominions or angels avobe could oppen records such as Gabriel's ones.
★Crowley knows heaven's passwords for serious documents :) oh, and she could open Gabriel's document.
Crowley was Baraqiel. that's it.
and maybe heaven errased Muriel's memory, but we aren't talking 'bout them t'day :)))
So, after a gut wrenching scream, Campbell is drunk at hist friend's funeral. Again i have to ask, WHERE DID MY COMFORT WENT, THIS WASN'T WHAT THE FIRST 3 EP'S WERE ABOUT,,
kianamaiart
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