Gina @amembivert - Tumblr Blog

About Me

Hi, my name’s Gina, and this is my personal blog! I usually reblog, but occasionally I post my own artwork/opinions/writing. It’s basically a blog for my own self, either a journal or a way to vent out my feelings.

I'm interested in: anime, manga, and video games. That's the general categories anyway

I'm ENTP, 8w7, and my birthday is on the 7th of December.

Currently playing: Love and Deepspace & Genshin Impact

Fun facts about me:

Get me going on any relevant subject and I won't shut the fuck up.

I enjoy talking and/or listening to anyone

Pro gamer

Highest kins: Rintaro Suna, Oikawa Tooru, Gojo Satoru, Venti, Albedo.

#about me #gina.txt #mutuals #list #it me!

positivelyqueer

one of the most relatable and useful things someone once said to me is that what saved her from her own ideation was the knowledge that suicide is always an option.

And this runs counter to what is very often told, and I’m certainly not saying that that narrative is wrong. There are people that absolutely need to hear that suicide is Never an option.

But when you’ve been in those particular trenches for so long, the old sayings start to wear thin.

So what this person talked about was, the knowledge that she could theoretically always kill herself made it easier to postpone. Sure she could have killed herself this morning, but then she wouldn’t be out getting coffee with her friend. And she can always do it tonight.

But maybe tonight doesn’t work either because what she wants more than to be dead is to be warm in bed. So she’ll sleep on it. Maybe next week after seeing her friend’s musical.

And maybe that musical gives her the strength she needs to hold out for a bit longer, to scrape just a bit more joy from the world.

And maybe in two months it comes back, and she can’t do it anymore. But well, two months ago wasn’t the only time, she can always do it next month. Might as well wait for spring, the flowers are only just starting to come out.

So hey, maybe you could kill yourself. But you’re a long time dead with not a lot to do, so might as well scrape some more joy and excitement and interest and disappointment and music and grief and community and warmth from this world while you’re in it.

There’s always the possibility of something around the corner. Be curious and stay safe loves <3 (love heart.)

positivelyqueer

You've gotta have good biodiversity in your reasons for not killing yourself. Rotate them out like crops when the yield gets low and the soil poor. We're mixing our metaphors. Whatever helps it stick.

You like warm blankets. You like the sound of birdsong. You have a pet that needs taking care of. You have someone to outlive. You have a loved one. You think death would be boring. It's coming for you anyway. Death is patient. When was the last time you had cake? Your favourite musician is going on tour. Or maybe just a halfway decent band at your local bar. You've never seen an elephant. Isn't it amazing that the sky is blue? Aging is a gift not afforded to most. Don't let the bastard grind you down. You can't mend any suffering in the world with your death. You want to see if you can grow herbs on your windowsill. Killing yourself seems like so much effort. What does tiramisu taste like? You're trying to be curious. You're angry and spiteful. What you want more than to die is to rest. This sandwich is so good you don't want to die. Not so long as there are plums to eat and somebody, anybody who gives enough of a damn to haul them to you. A stranger on the internet is holding their hand out and asking.