Summary: Your life was simple. Ordinary. Lonely. Until everything changed. Until a monster, straight out of your favorite TV show, attacked you.
Turns out, the world you escaped to for comfort is very real. And so is Dean Winchester...
She wasn’t part of the plan. A stranger who somehow landed in the middle of the Winchesters’ world. But with a past she doesn’t fully understand and a kind of magic they’ve never seen before, she might be the key to more than just surviving the trials ahead. And for Dean, she might be the one thing he never saw coming.
SEQUELS TO ORDINARY
⠂⠂⠂A BREAK ⠂⠂⠂
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester
Rating: 18+, Mature
Word count: 38 k
Chapters: 10
⸻
Summary: You only wanted a break. Just one week of quiet mornings, crackling fires, and no hunts. Dean’s idea of Heaven.
But breaks don’t come easy for hunters. And not everything that looks like paradise is safe.
⸻
Story tags: Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Established Relationship, Fluff, Angst, Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Monster of the Week, Post-Trials, Canon Divergence, Blood Magic, Dean Winchester In Love, Possessive Dean Winchester, Smut, Sex, Tension, Trauma, Body Worship POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n, Ordinary sequel
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
⠂★ ⠂A WILD RIDE ⠂★ ⠂
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fiancée!Reader (plus-size, f)
Rating: 18+, Mature
Word count: 36 k
Chapters: 8
⸻
Summary: Dean never asked for more than pie, beer, and a quiet night in front of the TV with you. What he got instead was a surprise that pulled him straight into one of his oldest daydreams. For a guy who never figured he’d have much of a future, living out a fantasy with you is about as good as it gets.
⸻
Story tags: Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Established Relationship, Fluff, Smut, Monster of the Week, Post-Trials, Canon Divergence, Blood Magic, Dean Winchester In Love, Possessive Dean Winchester, Smut, Sex, Fun, Body Worship POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n, Ordinary sequel
CHAPTER 1: Surprise
CHAPTER 2: Outfit
CHAPTER 3: Sheriff
CHAPTER 4: Ride
CHAPTER 5: Game
CHAPTER 6: Need
CHAPTER 7: Outlaw
CHAPTER 8: Hunt
⠂୨୧ ⠂A PROMISE ⠂୨୧ ⠂
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fiancée!Reader (plus-size, f)
Rating: 18+, Mature
Word count: 170 k
Chapters: 21
⸻
Summary: After everything you’ve survived, you’d think planning a wedding would be easy. It’s not. Between blood magic, Vegas, and Dean Winchester’s version of a bachelor party, ordinary still isn’t in your vocabulary. But maybe this time, you can get close.
⸻
Story tags: Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Established Relationship, Fluff, Smut, Angst, Wedding prep, Bachelor party, Post-Trials, Canon Divergence, Blood Magic, Dean Winchester In Love, Possessive Dean Winchester, Sex, Drama, POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n, Ordinary sequel
CHAPTER 1: Permission
CHAPTER 2: Decision
CHAPTER 3: Binding
CHAPTER 4: Sacrifice
CHAPTER 5: Vegas
CHAPTER 6: Rescue
CHAPTER 7: Reunion
CHAPTER 8: Gamble
CHAPTER 9: Truth
CHAPTER 10: Distance
CHAPTER 11: Effort
CHAPTER 12: Breakthrough
CHAPTER 13: Connection
CHAPTER 14: Heaven
CHAPTER 15: Anchor
CHAPTER 16: Aftermath
CHAPTER 17: Planning
CHAPTER 18: Preparation
CHAPTER 19: Vows
CHAPTER 20: Celebration
CHAPTER 21: Promise
-- IN YOUR SKIN --
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Wife!Reader (plus-size, f)
Rating: 18+, Mature
Word count: 44 k
Chapters: 6
⸻
Summary: A small blood spell was supposed to be harmless. By morning, you’re in Dean’s body, Dean is in yours, and the two of you are stuck navigating a magical disaster that is absurd, inconvenient, and way too personal.
⸻
Story tags: Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Body swap, Blood Magic, Smut, Sex, POV Dean Winchester, Canon Divergence, Dean Winchester In Love, Married Dean Winchester, POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n, Ordinary sequel
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
°⛧. WHAT COMES OUT ⛧°。
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Wife!Reader (plus-size, f)
Rating: 18+, Mature
Word count: -
Chapters: -
⸻
Summary: Heaven finally calls in the favor it’s been holding over your head since the day you came back from the dead. To repay it, you, Dean, and Sam have to go through Purgatory and into Hell itself to retrieve the Lance of Michael. But Hell has been closed for a long time, and the things trapped inside have not forgotten who locked the door. Some promises survive the dark. Others come back changed...
⸻
Story tags: Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Action, Violence, Angst, Drama, Blood Magic, Blood play, Smut, Rough sex, Emotional strain, Moral conflict, POV Dean Winchester, Canon Divergence, Married Dean Winchester, POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n, Ordinary sequel
CHAPTER 1: To Hell And Back Again
CHAPTER 2: The Descent
CHAPTER 3: There Will Be Blood
CHAPTER 4: Dead Man Walking
CHAPTER 5: What Lies Beneath
CHAPTER 6: Point Blank
CHAPTER 7: The Man Who Wasn’t There
CHAPTER 8: Taken
CHAPTER 9: The Cabin in The Woods
CHAPTER 10: Misery
ONESHOTS FROM ORDINARY UNIVERSE
Note: Can be read as a standalone, but beware of spoilers if you're reading Ordinary and haven’t finished it yet.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader
Rating: 18+, Mature
A KNIGHT'S TALE
Tags: smut, sexual tension, goofy, LARP, medieval cosplay, POV alternating, Dean x girlfriend!reader
FEELING ALIVE
Tags: smut, established relationship, threesome, a bit of angst, POV alternating, endverse!Dean x girlfriend!reader x Dean
TELL THE TRUTH
Tags: fluff, light angst, established relationship, trust issues, Sam is hiding something, POV alternating, Dean x fiancée!reader
A BREAK (smutty one-shot)
Tags: Plus-Size reader, Sex, Dean on top, possesive!Dean, self-esteem issues, body worship, established relationship, POV Dean Winchester, POV alternating
PIES AND STEAKS
Tags: Plus-Size reader, Oral Sex - female receiving, possesive!Dean, body worship, established relationship, POV Dean Winchester, POV alternating
TAKE CHARGE
Tags: Plus-Size reader, Oral Sex - male receiving, female masturbation, chains, blindfold, teasing, whimpering Dean, pathetic Dean, married!Dean, POV Dean Winchester, POV alternating, POV second person
Summary: You and Dean finally have the talk you have both been avoiding, and every ugly truth he gives you pushes your exhausted body closer to shutting down.
CHAPTER 9 MASTERLIST
Story tags: Demon!Dean, Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Action, Violence, Angst, Drama, Blood Magic, Blood play, Smut, Rough sex, Emotional strain, Moral conflict, POV Dean Winchester, Canon Divergence, Married Dean Winchester, POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n, Ordinary sequel
A/N: Okay, first things first: I’m sorry if the writing in this chapter feels a little off. I hadn’t touched writing in weeks, and I think it shows. I’ll probably come back to smooth it out a bit in a few days, but I didn’t want to leave you hanging any longer.
And now for the bigger apology. I’m sorry for going radio silent for a month. I was in a really bad place because one of the very few things keeping me sane was taken from me, brutally. It pulled me down so hard that I stopped finding joy in other things too. To the point that I couldn’t even write, and genuinely considered deleting all my work here.
But I managed to pull through, and I’m slowly rebuilding my relationship with the things that used to bring me joy.
You sat in the chair at the table, staring at the bottle of whiskey Dean had pulled from the paper bag, without really seeing it. Your mind had narrowed down to the steady sound of the hammer.
Metal against wood. Again and again. Dean was outside still working on the door he had broken, and somehow that was the part your brain chose to latch onto. The rhythm gave you something to focus on that was separate from the blood drying under your bandage, separate from the ache in your body, separate from the fact that you had just fallen apart on the floor in front of him.
You felt strangely numb. The sharp pain in your forearm was the only thing cutting through it with any real strength, and even that was starting to feel distant around the edges. The exhaustion had finally caught up with you. It was physical, sure. Lack of sleep, barely any food, hours of panic, fighting, running on fear, and now blood loss from the rushed, ugly cuts you had made with a filthy knife. All of that was more than enough.
You were done. Completely drained.
Three weeks of mourning. Three weeks of worry, searching, dead ends, burner calls, hope you were terrified to have, and fear you could not put down. Three weeks after all the dread and preparation for the mission that had taken your husband from you.
And after all that, the one thing you had always been able to rely on in danger, the only protection you had against demons, had not been enough.
Your blood had been enough. Your magic had been enough.
You had not.
You had been too slow. You hesitated, too afraid to use your own strength on a demon because the demon was still your husband. That was why you lost it when he knocked the knife from your hand. That was why it had been so easy for him to break the last thing holding you upright.
You felt weak in a way you had not felt for a long time, and the worst part was that you knew, logically, you had power here. Your magic could hurt him badly if only you stopped hesitating. You could probably kill him, if you truly wanted to.
You had the upper hand. Objectively.
But you wanted your husband back so badly that it gave the demon power over you, and you hated yourself for that more than you knew how to handle anymore.
Your eyes drifted from the bottle to your forearm, at the place where Dean had wrapped gauze around the cuts with careful, irritated hands. The bandage was already stained red in places.
You should have been embarrassed. Crying on the floor in front of him, folding in on yourself while he stood there and watched, should have made you want to crawl out of your own skin. Somehow, at this point, you did not even have the energy to care. Dean wanted fire from you, he wanted fight, attitude, the thrill of pushing until you pushed back. You knew that now. You had seen how he reacted to it. You had felt exactly how much he liked it when you jumped him in the car and threatened to burn him alive.
Too bad.
Your body had nothing left to give him.
You got so lost in the blankness that you didn’t notice the hammer stopping. The silence took a few seconds to register, and by the time your eyes focused again, Dean was already back inside. He tossed the hammer onto the couch with a dull thud and dropped into the chair opposite you, legs stretching out under the table with an exaggerated sigh.
‘So,’ he said, crossing his arms over his chest. ‘About the bloody finger-painting.’
You lifted your eyes to him.
He motioned around the room with one finger, taking in the sigils on the windows and walls.
‘Thought I told you to wipe that crap off.’
There was no teasing in his voice this time. No lazy playfulness. He looked perfectly serious, and for several long seconds, you stared at him in silence.
Then you reached for the bottle.
Dean’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn’t stop you.
You unscrewed the cap slowly, lifted the bottle to your mouth, and took a long drink without breaking eye contact. The whiskey burned all the way down and landed in your empty stomach with enough force to make your eyes sting. Usually, you did not reach for alcohol when your nerves were bad. You had enough bad coping mechanisms without adding that to the list. Right now, though, the warmth spread fast through your body and left a dull tingle in your fingers almost immediately. Maybe it was the whiskey. Maybe it was your body finally switching into preservation mode.
Whatever. You took what you could get.
You lowered the bottle and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.
Dean watched every movement.
You hugged the bottle against your chest with one arm, keeping your bandaged forearm close to your body.
‘Take them down yourself,’ you said finally.
Part of you expected him to snap. Bark another order. Slam a hand on the table. Remind you exactly how badly this could go if you kept testing him. A bigger part of you had stopped caring.
Dean said nothing at first. He just looked at you, quiet and still, eyes fixed on your face. After a moment, the corner of his mouth twitched.
‘Fine.’
Your eyes narrowed. ‘Fine?’
He gave a low chuckle.
‘Yeah, fine. You’re clearly beat,' he said, looking you over slowly, and there was enough blunt assessment in his expression to make you feel exposed all over again. 'And I don’t need you bleeding out all over the place.’
His gaze stopped on your forearm.
You looked down too. The red had spread more through the thin layers of bandage, darker near the center where the cuts were worst.
Your chest tightened with irritated confusion.
Because why the hell was he doing this?
He was selfish now. Arrogant and cruel. A violent, possessive dick who had left you grieving for three weeks, tortured you with clues and phone calls, kidnapped you, dragged you into the woods, manhandled you, and ordered you around as if you were his property.
Then he promised not to hurt you. Gave you his flannel because you were cold. Patched up your arm.
Was that part of the game too? Another way to mess with your head? Give you scraps of care, little flickers of your husband when it suited him, just enough to see how badly you wanted to believe there was still something to hold onto?
Or was he really that desperate for your presence, your attention, your touch, that he was willing to work around the parts of you that hurt him?
You did not ask. You took another slow drink instead. This one went down easier, which was probably a bad sign.
A drop of whiskey caught on your bottom lip, and you wiped it away with your tongue before you thought about it. Dean’s arms tightened across his chest. You saw it. You saw his throat move when he swallowed.
Your teeth pressed into the inside of your cheek.
He wanted you. Badly. He had not been subtle about that from the start, sure, but maybe you had underestimated how much it was affecting him. Grinding at him. Making him impatient enough to take risks.
Good.
You needed to know what he wanted badly enough to make mistakes over.
You lifted the bottle for another sip, but Dean leaned forward and reached across the table. To your own tired surprise, you did not flinch this time. You did not pull back either.
He noticed.
A brief flash of satisfaction crossed his face before he covered it with that smug little curve of his mouth.
His hand closed around the neck of the bottle just above yours, his fingers brushing your knuckles long enough for heat to rise between you.
‘Easy there,’ he said, smirking as he pulled the bottle from your hand. ‘We’re supposed to share.’
He brought it toward his mouth, then stopped.
You frowned.
Dean looked down at the rim, his expression shifting into something thoughtful. Then he tapped the mouth of the bottle carefully against his lower lip and waited.
For a second, you had no idea what the hell he was doing. Then it clicked, and a ridiculous little breath pushed out of your chest.
He was testing it. Your saliva. The possibility that even as little as that might burn him.
The whole thing was so careful and so stupidly practical that you almost laughed, which probably meant you were closer to losing your mind than you thought.
But there was no reaction. No hiss, no sign of pain. Dean’s eyebrows lifted a fraction, and then he tipped the bottle back and took a long drink.
‘Besides,’ Dean said when he lowered the bottle, ‘you keep goin' like that, you’re gonna pass out on me.’ His smirk gained that bratty edge that made your fingers tighten around nothing. ‘And we still gotta talk.’
He took one more sip and handed the bottle back.
You reached for it and this time, you made sure your fingers closed over his hand. It was quick. Deliberate. Hard enough to make the point.
The burn snapped between your skin and his.
Dean hissed through his teeth, but his grin only widened when you gave him a pointed look and took the bottle.
The whiskey really was starting to work now. Mostly on the pain, which had dimmed from sharp stinging into heavy pressure under the bandage. Your limbs felt looser than they had any right to feel. The warmth spread fast through your bloodstream. Weeks of barely sleeping and barely eating were doing you no favors, and you knew that. You also did not stop yourself from taking another drink.
You were still watching Dean carefully, but with the panic dulled and the immediate fight over, curiosity pushed its way in.
He looked unfairly good, which was a big fucking problem. The black T-shirt clung to him in all the wrong places, and when he settled back with his arms across his chest again, the muscle in his forearms and biceps shifted in a way you were almost certain he did on purpose.
You dragged your gaze back to his face.
The smug grin told you he knew exactly where your eyes had gone.
His eyes were green. There was a spark in them that looked close enough to the boyish one you missed so much it made your chest hurt. For one stupid moment, you could almost pretend it was just Dean. Your Dean. Sitting with you on some random night, sharing a bottle, irritating you on purpose because he liked the reaction.
Then he opened his mouth.
‘Now,’ Dean said, voice low in the quiet room, ‘you good to finally talk? Like an adult this time? Or do I gotta pin you down again?’
You hated how your body reacted to that, so you rolled your eyes as hard as you could to cover it.
‘Weren’t you supposed to be scrubbing off the sigils right about now?’
The corners of Dean’s eyes tightened as he dragged his teeth over his bottom lip.
‘You always did look good with an attitude.’
Memories hit before you could do anything about it. All the times he had fixed that attitude, using that exact tone in your bedroom, against a wall, in the Impala, everywhere your mind should not have gone while this version of him sat across from you.
Heat rose in your cheeks.
Goddamnit.
You took another sip because it was easier than letting him see your teeth clench.
But Dean saw it anyway. His grin told you enough.
‘I’ll get to it,’ he said, leaning back lazily. ‘Eventually. Right now, I wanna have a drink with my lovely wife.’
The mocking edge in his tone hit exactly where he meant it to. You flinched before you could stop yourself.
Dean’s smirk faltered, but you doubted guilt had anything to do with it. He was probably adjusting, choosing the next angle.
‘Alright,’ he said, straightening in the chair. ‘Let’s get one thing straight.’
You kept the bottle close, fingers wrapped tight around the glass.
‘I already told you. I’m not gonna hurt you. I don’t wanna hurt you.’ His eyes dropped to your bandaged arm. ‘So quit bein' stupid.’
You pressed your lips together.
‘No, seriously,’ he went on, leaning forward now. ‘What the hell were you thinkin'? Huh? You were gonna turn this place into Fort Knox, sit on the couch, and wait me out?’
You said nothing.
Dean’s smile came back, slower this time.
‘Or was that the plan? Sit tight until Sammy comes charging in? Maybe Cas?’
Your stomach pulled tight.
Dean laughed under his breath and leaned back again.
‘Yeah. About that.’ He glanced around the cabin, eyes moving over the useless sigils. ‘Sorry to disappoint you, princess, but you’re not the only one who knows what these little smudges can do. Whole damn radius is angel-proofed.'
Fuck.
You kept staring at him.
‘So don’t waste your energy thinkin' Feathers is gonna swoop in and save the day.’
You should have expected that.
Of course he wouldn’t leave you somewhere Cas could simply appear and grab you. Of course he had chosen the place carefully. He was still Dean. Some part of him, at least. He knew you. He knew the first three desperate options your brain would reach for and had already taken them off the table.
The wards had been your one pathetic attempt at changing the rules, and you couldn't even finish them.
Dean scanned your face while the realization settled. He looked pleased with himself.
You watched him as he pulled the bottle from your hands and took another drink. Watched the amber liquid slosh inside the bottle as he set it back on the table and pushed it toward you with two fingers.
You grabbed it, drank, swallowed, and finally found your voice again.
‘Do you really think keeping me here against my will is going to make me cooperate?’
You wanted it steady. It came out close enough.
Dean looked at you for a moment, then leaned back in his chair with a sigh.
‘Of course not.’ He shrugged. ‘I knew you were gonna put up a fight. Kinda looking forward to that part, actually.’
You scoffed, disgusted despite the exhaustion dragging at your limbs.
‘But you keep forgetting something, baby,’ he said, voice dropping lower. ‘I know you. I know everything about you. Every soft spot. Every button.'
Your fingers tightened around the bottle. Dean’s eyes stayed on yours.
'And eventually, you’re gonna be a real good girl and give me what I want.’
The arrogant certainty nearly pushed you over the edge again.
You twitched in your seat, ready to reach across the table and burn that smug face until the smile finally disappeared. But your body refused to follow through. Everything hurt. Your limbs felt heavy. Your head had started to buzz at the edges. You were too tired to make the movement worth it, so you pulled in a slow breath and held your ground from the chair.
‘And why the hell would I do that?’
You set the bottle down and crossed your arms over your chest. Then immediately regretted it when the movement shifted your badly buttoned shirt. Dean’s attention dropped fast. A muscle in his jaw ticked. The look on his face was pure hunger, and you yanked his flannel tighter around yourself.
Dean rolled his eyes, visibly annoyed. ‘Oh, come on.’
You straightened as much as you could and forced every word to come out clear.
‘I. Don’t. Want you.’ You glared at him. ‘I want my husband back. My Dean. And you know damn well that’s the only reason I’m not burning the fuck out of you right now.’
Dean reached for the bottle again, smiling.
‘Sure. Yeah. Right.’ He took a sip and leaned back. ‘Looked real convincing when you were bawling your eyes out on the floor.’
The words landed low. You went still.
That was dirty and you knew he meant it to be.
You deserved it, maybe. You had shown weakness in front of him, and now he had it in his hands. You wanted to tell him to fuck off. You wanted to tell him he had no right using that against you when he was the reason you had been coming apart for three weeks. You wanted to remind him that you had watched him die, that you had held him, that every second since then had felt like a knife being twisted in your heart again and again.
You did none of it. You said nothing.
Dean tilted his head, studying you.
‘You really do want him back, don’t you?’ He huffed and shook his head. ‘Well, sweetheart, I’m right here. Still me. Just without the guilt hangover.’
‘No, you are not him,’ you shot back, swallowing against the anger in your throat. ‘You’re not even close.’
Dean's brow lifted. ‘And what makes you so damn sure?’
There was actual curiosity in the question. Real enough that it pulled the answer out of you before you had time to think it through.
‘You hurt people. You killed people.’
Dean just shrugged. 'Killed people before.’
Your fingers found the bottle again because this conversation needed something to dull it. ‘Not like this.’
He rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, already irritated.
'Oh, come on. Don’t get all cute and naive on me now. Those guys were all assholes.’ He leaned forward slightly, voice sharp with conviction. ‘Couple of scumbags who thought they were better than everyone else. I did the world a favor.’
You took a drink and winced when the whiskey burned down your throat. Then you set the bottle back on the table harder than you meant to. The sound cracked through the cabin.
You were getting angry again. Which was good, because anger was easier than the rest of it.
The worst part was how normal this kept trying to feel. Sitting across from him. Talking to him, arguing with him, hearing his voice answer yours. Watching his hands move when he reached for the bottle. After three weeks of silence and waking up to nothing beside you, he was finally here, close enough that you could see every flicker in his expression.
You were relieved. Scared. Excited. Furious. Drunk enough to admit it out loud if he asked.
You missed him so much. And now you were so overwhelmed you were pretty sure you would cry again if your body had anything left.
So you used the anger.
Because for whatever reason, you seemed to be the one person in the world still allowed to push Demon Dean’s buttons and live.
‘Oh, right,’ you said, letting every bit of snark you had left into your voice. ‘You’re a real damn hero.’
Dean’s mouth kicked up as he grabbed the bottle from your hand.
‘You know what this is really about?’ he asked.
You stared at him.
He drank quickly, then set it down with a soft thud. It was almost empty now. You felt the missing whiskey in the heaviness of your eyelids and the way the pain in your arm had dulled completely.
‘Please,’ you said flatly. ‘Enlighten me.’
Dean’s smile widened.
‘It pisses you off because you know this was underneath the whole time.’
The sentence hit hard enough to take your breath for a second.
Because you had thought that before. Of course you had. You had seen the darkness in Dean. The violence, the brutality, the rage. The part of him that could scare people just by going quiet. You had watched him work too many times to pretend he was only soft hands and bad jokes and that beautiful, tired smile he gave you when he hoped no one else was looking.
You loved every part of him. Even the damaged parts. Especially the parts he thought made him hard to love. They were inside a man who fought himself every day to be better than the world made him.
But hearing this Dean say it out loud with such a mocking tone made your stomach turn.
‘Your Dean spent half his life choking on shame,’ Dean said. He picked up the bottle and moved it lightly in his hand, watching the whiskey catch against the glass. ‘I cut that part out.'
He made a small toasting gesture toward you.
‘You’re welcome.’
You stared at him until your vision blurred at the edges. You pulled in a careful breath and made yourself speak.
‘Just… tell me why you’re doing this.’
Your voice sounded tired even to you.
Dean’s smile faded by a fraction.
You closed your eyes for a second and rubbed your forehead with your good hand. The whiskey, the blood loss, the panic crash, all of it was starting to really drag you under.
‘Really. Just cut the crap and tell me. Is this your idea of fun? Does seeing me like this make you feel good?’
When you opened your eyes again, Dean was no longer looking at you. His head had tipped back, eyes turned toward the ceiling, jaw set hard.
‘Dean.'
His name came out softer than it should have, but you didn't really care.
'I’m serious. What’s the fucking point of all this?’
He stood suddenly, chair scraping against the floor.
The movement made you tense, but he didn’t come toward you. He dragged a hand down his face and swore, loudly, before he started pacing.
‘I swear to God,’ he snapped, shoulders tight, ‘it’s like I’m talkin' to a damn wall.’
You watched him move, pulse climbing again despite the whiskey. He was angry now, but it didn’t feel the same as before. This wasn’t the cold threat from the car or the sharp impatience at the cabin door. This had frustration under it. Real frustration, coming from saying something too many times and still not being heard.
Dean stopped near the table and turned back to you.
‘How many times do I gotta tell you?’
His hand closed around the back of the chair. The wood creaked under his fingers, and for one second, you watched the pressure of his grip instead of his face. His knuckles went pale. Anger climbed through him fast now, visible in the line of his shoulders, the set of his mouth, the way his whole body seemed to hold itself back by force.
Then his eyes went black.
You had no idea whether he meant to do it or whether his patience finally slipped. Either way, the effect was immediate. Your stomach tightened so hard it was almost painful.
Dean pushed the words through his teeth.
‘I want you,’ he said. ‘Because you’re mine, and I like keepin’ what’s mine close.’
Yeah. Of course.
There it was again. His possessive bullshit, sharpened by the demon in him until it turned into something that sat wrong in your chest. You had already known that was part of this. You were his wife. He had decided your body, your time, and your choices all belonged to him.
And it got under your skin exactly the way he wanted.
‘I’m not anyone’s property,’ you bit back, forcing yourself to ignore the cold shiver his black eyes sent over your skin. ‘And I’m sure as hell not yours. I belong to my husband. My human husband. Not some… monster wearing his face.’
The chair made another strained sound under his hand.
Dean’s mouth twitched once, but there was no humor in it.
‘Yeah. You can call me a monster all you want.’ His voice came out low and too controlled. ‘Won’t make me any less yours.’
The words caught you off guard. For one second, every thought in your head stalled. Until now, it had always been about you being his. He had never said it the other way around. He had never implied the possession went both ways. That made something sharp pull behind your ribs.
Dean saw the hit land. His smile came back, slower this time, and his eyes flicked green in one lazy blink.
‘And I’m still very much Dean where it counts, baby.’ His gaze moved over your face, down to your mouth, then back up again. ‘Believe me.’
Something inside you snapped clean through.
‘But… I don't understand,’ you said. 'You can have anybody.'
Your voice came out sharper than you wanted, and once the words were out, you could not pull them back. Your heart started beating too fast.
‘Hell, you told me yourself. You take whatever you want. You do whatever you want. So don’t stand there trying to scare me with your black eyes and your demonic ass and tell me how much you care about what’s yours when you were the one who left me.’
You did not even realize you had stood up until the room shifted around you and the chair scraped behind your legs. Your head spun for a second, but anger held you upright better than strength could have.
Dean stared at you.
You probably should have stopped, but you didn’t.
‘You said you didn’t want to be cured, and then you left me. You left me in that bunker losing my fucking mind while you went screwing around God knows where with God knows who.’
The words were out before you fully understood what you had said.
Then you froze.
You stood there with your chest heaving, hand tight around the edge of the table, wishing you could drag every word back into your mouth and swallow it. You had just handed him something raw, another stupid thing he could use against you.
Dean watched you for a long second.
Then his grip on the chair eased, and the corner of his mouth lifted.
‘So that’s what’s got you all bent outta shape.’
You crossed your arms over your chest and looked away at once.
The movement pulled at your bandaged forearm, but the sting barely registered. You wanted to deny it, to give him some cold, clever answer that made you sound above all of this. But there was no point. You had already laid it all out.
His voice dropped. ‘You think I cheated on you?’
You chewed the inside of your bottom lip and said nothing.
‘Oh,’ Dean said.
Just that. Rough. Interested.
Your eyes stayed on the wall, but you heard the chair scrape softly when he moved around it. A few slow steps brought him closer, and you stayed where you were because your head spun when you tried to shift your weight. Maybe that was whiskey. Maybe the blood loss. Maybe the fact that your body was still stupid enough to respond to him even while your mind screamed at you to keep distance.
‘Is that what’s been keepin’ you up at night?’ he asked.
He stopped close enough that you could feel the heat of him before you looked back. Your throat tightened.
‘Your precious husband fucking somebody else?’
The sting in your chest was instant. Your stomach turned, and bile burned at the back of your throat because he knew. He knew how right he was. He knew you well enough to understand the thought had been eating right through you.
You forced yourself to meet his eyes.
Dean’s gaze dropped.
Your shirt had shifted again. Your breasts were pressed high under the way your arms were crossed in the half-buttoned fabric, and his attention locked there with a hunger that made your pulse kick so hard it almost embarrassed you more than the question had.
His hand came up.
You tensed immediately.
Dean noticed. His eyes flicked back to your face, and for a second, that smugness sharpened. Then his fingers caught the crisp edge of your shirt where it split open over your chest. He touched the fabric only, teasing it aside just a little, slow and deliberate, careful not to let his skin brush yours.
‘These hands,’ he said, voice roughening, ‘on somebody else.’
You tried not to visibly wince.
His fingers slid along the seam of your shirt, close enough that your skin heated under the fabric anyway.
Then he leaned down. Too close. Close enough that for one terrible second, you thought he was going to kiss you. The heat between you rose fast. His scent hit you, whiskey and leather and Dean under all of it, and you hated that your body loved everything about it.
His face hovered near yours, his eyes moved over your lips, and your chest rose rapidly no matter how hard you tried to control it.
‘This mouth,’ he said, quieter now, ‘kissing somebody else.’
Your breathing went shallow. Your anger flared hard, and thank God for it, because anger made you pull yourself together.
You caught his wrist. Hard.
This time the burn was immediate and brutal. His eyes flashed black inches from your face, and a growl tore out of him as he jerked back. Smoke curled from under your fingers before you let go.
Dean stepped away, teeth clenched, shaking his hand once at his side, but he was not angry. He smirked instead.
Your heart was still racing as you glared at him. From the fear, from the closeness, from the sick pain of what he had described. Because of course it had kept you up at night. Of course you had thought about him with other women. You kept telling yourself it was not him, that your husband would never do that to you, that whatever Demon Dean did while he was gone did not count.
It had hurt all the same.
‘You can glare all you want, sweetheart,’ Dean said, still smirking as he flexed his burned wrist. The red marks were already fading too fast. ‘Doesn’t change what your pulse did when I got close.’
‘Screw you,’ you snapped.
Your eyes dropped to his wrist. The burns were almost gone.
That stopped you for half a second. You had seen your magic tear through demons before. And Dean was healing from it much faster. The damage closed in front of your eyes, leaving irritated skin behind where there should have been a much nastier wound. Something was definitely off.
Dean followed your gaze, then lifted his wrist with a little tilt of his head.
‘What? See somethin’ you like?’
You dragged your eyes back to his face, but said nothing.
His smile sharpened.
Then he turned away, dropped back into the chair, and reached for the whiskey.
‘Anyway,’ he said as he lifted the bottle and found only one swallow left. ‘You can unclench. I didn’t do any of that.’
You kept glaring at him as he took the last of the whiskey, drained it, and set the empty bottle down with a hard little tap.
‘The kissing and the fucking, I mean.’
He said it so casually that your breath caught, which pissed you off all over again. You laughed once, short and disbelieving, because how could you not.
‘Yeah, right.’
Dean’s eyebrows lifted.
You lowered yourself back into the chair because your head spun hard enough to make the room tilt. The rush of emotion had burned through whatever false steadiness the whiskey gave you, and sitting seemed smarter than finding out what the floor tasted like.
'Do you seriously expect me to believe that?’
Dean’s expression changed. The teasing did not fully disappear, but something colder settled behind it. He looked at you across the table, eyes narrowed and too serious now.
‘Cheating’s for asshats who gotta go sniffing around because they can’t keep what’s theirs satisfied. That ain’t me.'
You blinked at him.
Then immediately rolled your eyes because the line was so absurdly corny and so ridiculous that you did not know what else to do.
Dean just shrugged, as if the rest was obvious. ‘Besides, I already had the good stuff at home.’
Was he serious right now? Honestly. Was he just… mocking you again?
This had to be another way to mess with you. Demon Dean could not possibly be sitting across from you with a straight face and claiming he followed some kind of moral marital line out of principle.
You let out another tired, humorless laugh as your fingers dug into the flannel around you.
‘Of course, now,’ Dean went on, irritation cutting back in, ‘I can’t lay one damn finger on my own wife without getting my ass kicked by her magic.’ He threw one hand out, exasperated. ‘That’s a problem.’
'And why is that?'
You knew it was stupid. Of course it was stupid. You were exhausted, drunk, bleeding through a bandage, and sitting across from your demonic husband asking him why he cared so much about touching you when he had already spent the whole day making that painfully clear.
Still, your attitude was the only thing making you feel like a person instead of a trapped animal, so you held onto it.
Dean blinked slowly. ‘Really?’
You lifted your chin, even though the motion made the room tilt a little.
He looked at you for a full second, then rolled his eyes so hard you almost expected them to get stuck.
‘We're actually doing this now? What are you, twelve?’
Heat crawled up your neck.
Yeah. You had walked right into that one. But what else were you supposed to do? Let him sit there and talk about your body like it was some kind of denied privilege?
You looked away for half a second, trying to gather whatever was left of your dignity, but it was getting harder to hold onto anything. Your body was really starting to shut down now. Your mind too. You felt the pull of unconsciousness somewhere behind your eyes. Your limbs were heavy. Your eyelids kept trying to fall. You needed to lie down. You needed food, water, sleep, stitches, maybe a hospital.
And still, for one stupid, obvious reason, you wanted to keep him talking.
Because he was here. Because he was responding. And every word gave you something.
So you pushed through the dizziness and forced yourself to focus.
‘I just don’t get why-’
‘Goddamnit, I need you!’
His voice tore through the cabin hard enough to make you stop breathing.
Dean stood with both hands braced on the table now, face twisted with anger that looked too close to desperation. The empty bottle rattled near his hand. His eyes were green, but there was nothing soft in them. He looked furious with you, furious with himself, furious with the fact that the words had come out at all.
‘Alright?’ he snapped. ‘That what you wanna hear? Yeah. I need you.’
He grabbed the bottle, remembered it was empty, and the uselessness of it seemed to piss him off even more. His fingers closed around the glass.
‘I tried everything,’ he said. His voice dropped, but the force stayed in it. ‘Every damn thing I could think of to get you outta my head. I drank. I fought. I let women hang all over me. I let myself do whatever the hell I wanted because, hey, that’s the whole point, right?’
His grip tightened. The bottle creaked in his hand.
‘And it still came back to you.’ He looked at you then, and the raw frustration in his face made your breath go shallow. ‘Every time. You. Your voice. Your face. Your body.’
Your throat closed.
Dean’s mouth pulled tight. His jaw was clenched. ‘Nothing else was enough. Nobody else was enough. It all came back to my body needing yours.’
The bottle shattered in his hand.
Glass cracked across the table. You jerked back in your chair as sharp pieces skittered over the wood, some stained red where they cut into his palm. Dean swore, loud and nasty, and shook the shards loose. His hand was a mess for maybe two seconds. Then the skin started knitting itself back together.
The healing should have been the part that stunned you. But that was not the thing that held you still.
It was what he had said. The way he had said it.
Irritated. Furious. Hungry. Desperate in a way that made your stomach tighten because Dean had needed you before. Your Dean had wanted you. Missed you. Reached for you in ordinary moments. Your Dean had loved you.
This was different. This was terrifying. Because he obviously hated needing you.
And underneath the fear, under the whiskey and exhaustion and the insane pounding of your heart, something else pushed through.
A thought.
He needed you enough to lose control. He wanted you badly enough to make mistakes. Badly enough to bring you here, to let you burn him, explain himself, come closer even when every inch of your skin was a weapon against him.
That meant something. It had to mean something, right?
Maybe it wasn't enough to save yourself. But maybe it was the only thing you had. If he wanted you this much, if his obsession was this strong, then maybe you could use it. If he was trying to manipulate you, maybe you could do the same. Just to slow him down. To keep him close enough for the cure.
To bring him back.
Not tonight, of course. Not while you could barely keep your eyes open and your arm was bleeding through the bandage. But soon. You had to get your head clear. You had to stop reacting to every word, every look, every familiar piece of him he used against you.
You had to lock the fuck in.
Dean shoved away from the table and walked to the sink. He turned the faucet on hard and rinsed blood and glass from his already healed hand. The tension in his shoulders did not ease. If anything, he looked more annoyed now, as if admitting any of that had pissed him off more than your burning touch.
A faint wave of satisfaction moved through you.
It would have felt better if your vision had not started blurring at the edges.
You looked down.
The bandage around your forearm was soaked through now. The cuts throbbed under it. You had used too much blood, too much strength. Your body had been warning you for a while, and you had ignored every signal because you didn't want to show any more weakness.
You needed to lie down. Badly. But you still had one thing to say.
You gripped the edge of the table with your uninjured hand.
‘If you need me that much,’ you said, and even to your own ears, the words sounded thin now, ‘then let me cure you.’
Dean stayed with his back to you. His hands were braced against the counter, head dropped between his shoulders.
You swallowed, fighting the pull behind your eyes.
‘Let me set this right and take you home.’
His shoulders went still.
You tried to stand, or maybe you only thought about standing. Your body did not cooperate either way.
‘Dean.’ Your voice almost broke on his name.
He did not turn around.
‘Let me take you home.’
‘No.’
One word. Low. Final. More growl than answer.
The room tilted.
You blinked hard, but the shapes did not come back right. Dean’s back blurred, then sharpened, then blurred again. Your injured arm still throbbed under the ruined bandage, and your fingers had gone cold around the edge of the table.
‘P… please.’
This time he turned.
‘I said no.’
His face was stone cold. Jaw set. Eyes fixed on you with a sudden sharpness that told you he noticed what was happening a second before you did.
He looked like he might say something else.
That was the last thing you remembered before everything went black.
‘Son of a-’
Dean moved before the chair could tip all the way back.
One second she was sitting there, staring at him with those exhausted, glassy eyes, and the next her body went loose. Her head dropped, her hand slipped off the edge of the table, and the whole damn chair started going with her.
He caught her before she hit the floor.
‘Awesome,’ he breathed under his breath. ‘That’s just awesome.’
Her weight was not the problem. Demon strength made that part easy. The problem was the heat that hit the second he pulled her against him. Her body pressed into his arms and chest, and the burn came fast, biting through his sleeves, through his shirt, through every place she was close enough for that magic of hers to react.
Dean hissed through his teeth and tightened his hold anyway.
‘Yeah, yeah, I get it,’ he muttered, carrying her toward the bedroom. ‘Still mad at me.’
She did not answer. Her body was limp in his arms, her head against his shoulder, one hand hanging loose, and she was still hurting him without even trying.
He crossed into the bedroom fast, careful not to knock her bandaged arm against the doorframe. The old bed creaked when he lowered her onto it, and Dean had to peel his hands away one at a time. His shirt smoked faintly. The skin underneath stung and pulled tight while it healed.
He ignored it.
He leaned over her, close enough for his mouth to hover near her throat, and listened. Heartbeat there. Weak. Fast. Too damn fast, actually, but there. Her chest rose under the half-open shirt, shallow and uneven, and the next breath brushed warm against his cheek.
Still breathing.
Something in his chest loosened and he hated that immediately. He did not like the weird flash of relief that hit him, and he sure as hell did not like how it felt to know she was breathing.
Dean straightened, rubbed both hands over his face, then planted them on his hips and stared down at her.
Yeah, he was pissed.
No. Pissed did not cover it. He was livid.
Part of it was at himself. Obviously. Because apparently he had decided to run his damn mouth until he handed her every ugly piece of truth she had been digging for. Great job, dumbass. Real smooth. This was supposed to be fun. He was supposed to be leaning back, enjoying the show, watching her get all mad and flushed while he pushed buttons he had earned the right to push. She was supposed to figure out how to shut that magic down so they could both stop wasting time.
Instead, she had pushed and pushed until he said too much.
Need.
He had actually said that. Out loud.
Son of a bitch.
Now she had one more thing to throw in his face when she got her strength back. One more little weapon for that big brain of hers to turn over until she thought she understood him.
No. She didn’t understand crap.
Still, the worst part was her arm.
Dean’s eyes dropped to the bandage. Red had spread through the gauze near her wrist and along the lower edge, darkening where it had soaked too deep. The sight made his teeth press together.
That was on her.
If she had not tried to be a goddamn hero with the bloody art project, if she had not grabbed the nastiest knife in the cabin and carved herself open to keep him out, she would not be lying there unconscious, drained, pale as hell, and making him deal with one more problem.
He should have let her sit with the consequences a little longer. That was the lesson, right? Pull a stupid stunt, pay for it.
Except the lesson was useless if she bled through the damn sheets.
‘Unbelievable,’ he muttered.
Dean reached down and checked the bandage again, using the edge of the flannel wrapped around her to lift her arm. The cuts probably needed stitches. Better cleaning too, because those little wipes from the kit were crap.
She needed sleep. Proper rest. He knew that. He wasn’t an idiot. He had seen the dark circles under her eyes the second he got close to her in the Impala. Seen the hollow look in her face under all that panic. Seen how hard she had been running herself into the ground.
He had just hoped she could keep it together long enough to get them somewhere useful.
Common ground. A deal. A plan. Obedience would have been great.
Dean looked at her face.
She was turned slightly toward him. Her mouth was slightly open, still breathing unevenly. She looked wrecked. Worse than she had at the table. Worse than she had on the floor, crying.
And still, goddamnit, he missed her so much it made him angry all over again.
His gaze moved before he could decide against it. The shirt was still half-open under the flannel, fabric pulled wrong from the fight, from his hands, from the whole stupid day. His eyes caught there first, because of course they did. Then lower, to the curve of her waist, her hips under the wrinkled fabric, all the places he had been thinking about for three miserable weeks while every other distraction bored him into a bad mood.
Then his eyes stopped at her lips.
Bad idea.
Really bad idea.
Dean exhaled through his nose and ran a hand over his mouth.
He could wake her up. Shake her until those eyes opened, tell her to quit passing out on him, tell her she had a husband right there and a few damn marital duties she was seriously neglecting. The thought came fast and ugly, because he wanted her real fucking bad.
His eyes dropped to the soft skin peeking through the open shirt again, and his jaw worked once before he forced himself to look away.
No.
Even like this, he wasn’t that desperate. He didn’t need to take it from her while she was half-dead on an old bed. He wanted her awake, looking right at him when she finally stopped holding back. He wanted her to want it. Wanted her to ask. Beg, if he did this right.
And he was damn sure he could get her there.
The red on the bandage finally snapped his head back where it needed to be.
Dean's mouth flattened.
He was gonna have to make another run. He needed better bandages. Real disinfectant. Stitch strips, maybe. Something he could use instead of needle and thread, because stitching her up while her skin tried to cook him was going to be a real fun time for nobody. Food too. Something with salt, sugar, protein, whatever the hell she needed after bleeding on every wall in the room. More booze for himself, because this whole thing had turned into a bigger pain in the ass than advertised.
But the stores were closed now, or close enough to it, and driving out would take too long. He had already left her alone once, and she had turned the cabin into a damn murder house.
No. He was staying put until he knew she was stable.
Dean left the bedroom and dragged one of the old armchairs from the main room. The legs scraped over the floorboards the whole way, loud enough to make her shift faintly on the bed. He stopped, eyes cutting to her face. She didn’t wake.
He planted the thing beside the bed, angled it toward her and the door at the same time, then dropped into it with a hard, annoyed huff.
He leaned back, stretched his legs out, and stared at her.
She slept on, pale and silent. Her breathing evened out and her pulse seemed to settle back toward normal.
Dean’s mouth tightened.
‘You better not make a habit outta this,’ he muttered.
She didn’t answer, obviously.
He settled deeper into the chair, eyes glued to the rise and fall of her chest.
For now, he would watch her. Make sure she kept breathing. Make sure the bandage did not keep soaking through. Make sure nothing came through the woods, through the patched-up door, or through any other damn thing trying to take what belonged to him.
Yeah.
For now, he was making sure she was alright.
And if anyone had a problem with that, they could bite him.
I know I’ve been quiet for a while, and I’m sorry. I’m dealing with a lot of different things right now, and I don’t want to burden you with all of it, but I wanted to say something instead of just disappearing.
I hope I can get back to writing and sharing it with you soon, but I can’t promise a specific date yet.
Thank you to everyone who decides to wait, and also to everyone who has been here so far. I appreciate you all so much ❤️
I know I’ve been quiet for a while, and I’m sorry. I’m dealing with a lot of different things right now, and I don’t want to burden you with all of it, but I wanted to say something instead of just disappearing.
I hope I can get back to writing and sharing it with you soon, but I can’t promise a specific date yet.
Thank you to everyone who decides to wait, and also to everyone who has been here so far. I appreciate you all so much ❤️
Summary: You are trapped with Dean in a place meant to keep you isolated, and every choice becomes a careful balance between surviving him and trying to bring him back.
CHAPTER 8 MASTERLIST
Story tags: Demon!Dean, Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Action, Violence, Angst, Drama, Blood Magic, Blood play, Smut, Rough sex, Emotional strain, Moral conflict, POV Dean Winchester, Canon Divergence, Married Dean Winchester, POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n, Ordinary sequel
A/N: I’m going through a lot with this story right now because it turned into a much bigger writing challenge than I expected. So if you want to read more about my current spiral over Demon Dean, our girl, and this whole mess, I poured some of it into the chapter note on AO3.
Your chest was still heaving under Dean’s weight when his words sank in.
He wanted to touch you without your magic hurting him.
Even with every lifelong doubt you had ever carried about your body, about how men saw you or didn’t see you, Dean had proved to you over and over that he wanted you, that he found you sexy. He had proved it with his hands, his mouth, his impatience, his complete inability to keep his attention off you most of the time.
It wasn’t impossible to believe that some twisted, demonic version of that desire had stayed.
The part that you couldn't really wrap your mind around was... he could have anyone.
He was still Dean Winchester. Ridiculously attractive, broad, strong, with those soft pouty lips, that deep voice, and that unfair face that made people look twice. Now he had no guilt, no shame, no loving attachment stopping him from taking whatever he wanted from whoever offered it.
You wished you could stop thinking about that. You wished you hadn't thought about it for three weeks.
You were pretty damn sure he had not spent all that time alone. The idea hit the same place every time, deep in your chest, sharp enough to make you want to stop breathing until it passed. You tried hard not to picture it. Your husband's hands and mouth touching someone else while you lay awake in the bunker crying your eyes out.
No. Picturing it didn't solve anything.
And still… for some insane reason, after all that, he had come for you. He had risked Sam, risked your magic, risked whatever lead he had been keeping ahead of all of you just to drag you here and demand that you figure out a way to let him put his hands on you.
Well, first of all, fuck him.
Honestly.
Did he really expect you to just let him? Did he think that after everything he had done, after everything he had become, you would sit down in some rotting place and work out how to make yourself safe for a demon's hands because he was horny and used to getting whatever he wanted?
Or worse, did he think he could simply take it, without asking?
The thought made bile rise in your throat so fast you almost choked on it.
The shapeshifter came back to you in ugly pieces. Dean’s face on something that was not Dean. Hands that looked like his, a mouth that looked like his, touching you. The violation of it, the sick confusion of your own body before your mind fully caught up... That memory still made you want to tear your skin open and climb out of it.
Your fingers curled into the old seat beneath you.
Would he really do that?
Even like this, would Dean be able to hurt you that way?
Whatever I want.
That was what he had said when you asked what he was doing. There had been almost no limit in those words. No line he seemed afraid to cross.
But he had also told you he was not going to hurt you.
And maybe even as a demon, Dean was still a man of his word in some fucked up, deranged way. Maybe there were pieces of him that still understood certain things were off-limits, even if he couldn’t feel love the way he used to.
You didn’t know. And you didn't like not knowing.
And even if he meant it, even if he really had no intention of forcing you, the rest of it made no sense. How the hell did he expect you to do this? The protection was in your blood. There was no light switch. You barely understood how all of it worked, and the last time you had pushed your magic too hard, your mind had slammed into a wall and the life you had built was erased.
Dean would have understood that. Your Dean would have.
This one was thinking with his dick, or his pride, or whatever demons ran on when they decided they wanted something.
You must have been silently glaring at him for too long, because when your focus snapped back into place, some of the impatience had faded from his face. His eyes were green again, and he was watching you in a way that made your pulse race faster than the black ever had.
Dean was still above you, close enough to make breathing difficult, but his hands were carefully braced on either side of your body. Even pinned under him, you could tell he was controlling every inch of himself, placing his weight with care, keeping away from your open shirt and your exposed skin. His shoulders blocked most of the car. His face hovered near yours, full of hunger and interest, and for one second, if you ignored the situation hard enough, you could almost see your husband there.
‘God, I missed that face,’ he said.
His mouth curved. There was no real affection in his voice. It sounded closer to fascination. You knew he was studying your every reaction to him.
His eyes moved over your face slowly.
‘Especially when you’re tryin’ real hard not to want me.’
Your jaw clenched so hard it hurt. ‘I don’t want you.’
You tried to make it sound convincing enough that both of you could believe it.
Dean’s smile only deepened.
He leaned in just a little, stopping just short of brushing his nose against yours.
‘Yet.’
Your heart jumped hard enough to make you hate it.
Wait, was he… Did he honestly think you would give yourself to him willingly? Did he think all of this would end with you forgetting what he was because your body still reacted to Dean Winchester?
He had to be out of his fucking mind.
That was never going to happen. Not while he was like this.
You were ready to laugh in his face, or at least try, when Dean took a slow breath. His chest expanded against yours, close enough for you to feel the pressure through the layers between you. Heat built where his body hovered near yours, and for one awful second, you could not tell whether it was your magic reacting or your own body betraying you again.
Dean felt it. You saw it in the tiny pull at the corner of his mouth and in the tension that ran through his shoulders.
‘You even smell the same,’ he said, voice low enough that it moved through your chest. ‘That’s unfair as hell, by the way.’
Your eyes squeezed shut for half a second.
Because he did too.
He still smelled like Dean. Leather, whiskey, some kind of smoky perfume, and something warm and familiar underneath. It made you furious. It made you sick with yourself. You felt so many things at once. Fear. Dread. Anger. Relief. Want. Shame... All of it jammed together and you wanted to scream.
He was finally this close.
He was also the reason you were terrified.
You forced your eyes open and pushed your trapped hand harder against him, trying to create any amount of space. Your voice came out low and rough, much steadier than you felt.
‘Get. Off. Me.’
Dean stayed over you for another second, watching you with that infuriating smirk, then finally pushed himself up. He made sure to take his time, too, just to make it clear he was choosing to let you go.
The absence of his weight should have made you feel better. It did not, for some insane reason.
You scrambled back across the bench at once, your spine hitting the passenger door. Your hands flew to your shirt, pulling the fabric together and fumbling with the buttons that popped free. The tremor in your fingers was obvious and you hated that he could see it.
Dean's eyes stayed on your chest while you tried to cover yourself. He leaned back in the driver’s seat, stretching his burned hands once, acting like the pain was more of an annoyance than anything serious.
‘I’m tellin’ you,’ he said, eyes dragging back to your face, ‘you’re scared of the wrong thing here.’
You held your shirt closed with one hand and glared at him.
‘You’re safer with me than you are out there.’ His mouth twitched. ‘And I sure as hell don’t need to hurt you to keep you.’
Yep, there it was. The power move.
You were his, right? That was how he saw it now. His wife, his possession, his thing to move around and lock away until you did what he wanted.
God, you wanted to wipe that smug look off his face. Yet you still couldn’t make yourself hurt him badly. That made you feel pathetic, and the shame only made the anger worse.
‘Yeah, right,’ you scoffed, voice sharper than was probably smart. ‘Because this all looks like a totally safe situation.’
You had no idea where that much bite came from. It sure as hell wasn't confidence. You were still scared of him, that had not changed just because he was no longer pinning you to the seat. Maybe it was Dean’s face, Dean’s voice, Dean’s everything that made some irrational part of your brain keep insisting that you could push him farther than you would push any other demon.
And the fact that you could burn his skin off probably helped.
Dean rolled his eyes and reached for the keys. He pulled them from the ignition and stepped out.
You straightened immediately, shifting away from the door. He walked in front of the Impala, fingers tapping the hood lightly as he crossed to your side. Your eyes caught on his hands. They were still red in places, irritated and healing, but nowhere near as ruined as they should have been after the burns you gave him.
That was another problem that went on the pile of things you didn’t have time to analyze.
Dean opened your door and stepped back, waiting for you to get out.
The cold air from outside hit your face. Behind him, the cabin waited with its crooked porch and dark windows.
No.
Not a chance.
Why should you go inside? Why should you do what he told you? Why should you let him trap you in some creepy cabin in the woods so you could work on making yourself easier for him to touch?
You should have been more careful. You knew that. He was a fucking demon. Strong, evil, unpredictable, although currently more patient than you expected him to be. You should not have been poking at him.
Still, something inside you refused to move. You sank deeper into the seat and crossed your arms over your chest.
Dean waited all of two seconds.
A muscle jumped in his jaw.
‘Get out of the car.’
You stared straight ahead through the windshield at the cabin, refusing to look at him. You were not just being stubborn, even if you knew that was what it looked like. You were trying to think. You needed a plan. A real one. Not another half-panicked move that ended with him on top of you and your shirt half-open.
You were not doing that again.
You despised how much power he had over you. And that the one thing that made you dangerous to demons was the thing making you hesitate now.
Because no matter how much you threatened him, your stupid ass did not want to hurt him badly enough to end this.
‘Sweetheart,’ Dean said, voice dropping into something frighteningly calm, ‘get out of the car.’
Your fingers pressed harder into your arms. You couldn’t go into that cabin. Once you got inside, things would get harder. You knew it. If you were going to do something, you needed to do it before the door closed behind you both.
Your eyes flicked toward the trees.
Running was a terrible idea. You had no phone, no idea where you were. The woods were thick, the light was fading, and if you ran, he would catch you. So you stayed in the seat and held onto the only refusal you had left.
Dean leaned one hand against the open doorframe. You gave him one quick glance and immediately wished you hadn’t.
He was watching you too closely. Of course he could hear your heart, see the fear. Of course he knew you were stalling.
His head tilted a little. ‘You really wanna make this harder than it has to be?’
You took one slow breath.
‘You can’t really expect me to-’
That was all you got out.
One second, you were sitting in the passenger seat about to tell him you were not going anywhere, and the next his hands were on you. He grabbed you without hesitation, one arm hooking under your thighs and the other bracing across your back, and lifted you straight out of the car.
You twisted on instinct.
The burn hit immediately.
His bare forearms pressed against your body, your own hands shoving at his shoulders and chest, and smoke rose between you in sharp little bursts. He hissed through his teeth, jaw flexing, but his grip did not loosen.
That was when you realized he had known. He had known it would hurt and he had done it anyway.
Panic hit harder.
You kicked, twisted, tried to wrench yourself free, but he was too damn strong. His arms locked around you, and every movement only made your body press against more of him. Your magic tore into him through fabric and skin, and still he kept moving.
Because it wasn’t burning fast enough.
He had noticed that too. You knew he had. The realization landed cold in your stomach. He was learning the limits of your protection in real time, finding out exactly how much pain he could push through before you became a real threat.
Dean hauled you up and over his shoulder in one rough movement, like you weighed nothing.
Your stomach lurched as the world flipped. Your hair fell forward, your hands grabbed at the back of his shirt, and your ribs hit his shoulder hard enough to knock the breath from your lungs. And even in this situation, some ridiculous part of you noticed the view of his tight ass right there in front of your face.
You immediately wanted to punch yourself for noticing.
Smoke and the smell of burning flesh filled the cold air. Your hands clawed at his shirt, trying to pull it up, trying to find skin. He carried you toward the porch without slowing down.
‘Dean, put me down!’ you demanded.
He ignored you.
The porch boards creaked under his boots, but he didn’t stop to search for a key. He didn’t bother with the handle, either. He kicked the door open hard enough that the whole frame cracked. The sound was brutal in the quiet forest, wood splitting, metal snapping, the door slamming inward against the wall.
Then he carried you inside.
Dust hit your nose. Old wood, stale air, damp fabric, cold ash from a fireplace that had not been used in a long time. You barely got a look at the room before anger overrode everything else.
You had enough.
If he wanted to learn your limits, fine. He could learn them.
You grabbed the back of his flannel with both hands and yanked it up. The black shirt underneath came with it just enough for your fingers to find the bare skin at the small of his back.
You shoved both hands under the fabric.
Then you dragged them upward.
Dean growled, because this time, the pain was real.
The sound rumbled through his body under you, low and rough, and satisfaction shot through the fear so fast it almost made you dizzy. Your palms burned him hard, magic working fully now that there was bare skin under your hands. You felt his back tense, muscles locking under your grip, and you dug your fingers in harder as you dragged your hands up along his spine.
You knew this was a bad idea.
Hurting him like this would not make him gentler. And it would definitely not make him less dangerous. You were trapped in a cabin with him now, far from Sam, and you had just burned a demon badly enough to make him lose control of his breathing.
But you refused to do nothing.
Dean threw you onto the couch.
You hit the old cushions with enough force to bounce once, dust bursting up around you and making you cough. Pain flashed through your hip and shoulder. You scrambled upright anyway, one hand already lifted, ready to burn him again if he came for you.
He didn’t.
Dean stood a few feet away, breathing through his teeth. His flannel hung twisted around his sides, the black shirt shoved up high enough for you to see the damage across his back. Red, raw, blistered skin stretched over tense muscle, already trying to heal, but not fast enough to hide how badly you had hurt him. His eyes were black again. His fists opened and closed at his sides, and every few seconds a low, furious sound dragged out of him.
You braced for the worst.
Because he was angry now. You could see it in every line of him. Yeah, this was where he snapped. This was where the demon finally forgot whatever rule had kept him from hurting you. This was where he grabbed you by the throat or slammed you into a wall and gave you enough reason to stop holding back.
Instead, he paced.
He muttered under his breath, every other word a swear, one hand reaching back to tug his shirt away from the burned skin.
‘Son of a-,’ he hissed, shoulders tight. ‘Goddamnit. Fucking-’
His jaw was clenched so hard it looked painful. He rolled his neck, breathing hard, and you watched him fight the pain down through sheer stubbornness. You had hurt him this time. Really hurt him. Any other demon would have come at you for less.
Dean didn’t.
Your hand stayed raised, although your defiance had limits. Your whole body shook against the couch as you tried hard to ignore the fact that hurting him made you feel sick.
After a long moment, Dean stopped pacing. Finally, his breathing steadied. The worst burns along his back had started to close, leaving angry red patches behind. He pulled his shirt down with a sharp tug, then shoved the flannel back into place.
When he looked at you again, his eyes were green.
‘I’m trying,’ he said, voice strained and very careful, ‘real hard… to be patient with you.’
You pressed yourself harder into the couch, trying to make your own breathing even.
Dean’s jaw flexed. ‘Don’t fucking waste it.’
The words landed heavy in the room.
You didn’t answer, because you didn’t trust your voice.
Dean stared at you for another beat, then dragged a hand down his face and turned toward the ruined door hanging half-open behind him. Cold air slipped through the gap, stirring dust across the floor.
He looked at the splintered frame, the broken lock, the cracked wood scattered near his boots.
‘Awesome,’ he muttered. ‘Now I gotta go get a new door lock for this piece of crap.’
You watched him kick a broken piece of the rusty lock aside, then finally forced yourself to look around.
The cabin was probably bigger than the front room showed, although your brain did not want to imagine any more space than necessary. Every extra room meant another place where Dean could corner you, another place where you would be trapped with him and whatever this version of him wanted.
The main room was crowded with old furniture. Beat-up armchairs with torn fabric. A couple of old cupboards pushed against the plank walls. Wooden storage chests with rusted hinges. A table with mismatched chairs. A small kitchen area with stained counters and a sink that looked as if it had not seen a clean dish in years. There was one open doorway leading into another room, and from where you sat on the couch, you could just make out the edge of a bed. Another door stayed closed near the back wall, and your best guess was a bathroom.
God, you hoped this place had a bathroom.
The thought of safely running was leaving you by the second. The open doorway showed trees, more trees, and the narrow strip of dirt road Dean had driven down, which had twisted through too many turns and too many half-roads for you to trust your memory.
No. You had to think of something else.
That annoyed you more than it should have, because right now your brain wasn’t moving fast enough.
Stalling. That was all you had for now. Let him think you were cooperating, at least enough to keep him entertained. Drag out the time. Use your touch if things got dangerous enough. Hope he really meant it when he said he would not hurt you.
Hope that Sam would find you.
Your jaw tightened.
You were smart. You were a goddamn doctor. A scientist. You had survived too much to sit on a dusty couch and wait for a demon to outsmart you.
Even if the demon in question was the best hunter in the world.
You watched Dean pick up the larger chunks of the broken wood and toss them aside. He kicked smaller splinters out onto the porch with the toe of his boot, muttering under his breath.
The sight of him doing something so stupidly practical in this place made your brain take an awful turn.
Because once, a long time ago, you had imagined something close to this.
You and Dean. A small place with trees all around, remote and private enough to be just for you. A cabin far away from hunting and noise and the world asking too much of him. It had been after you found out the two of you shared a Heaven, after Dean told you that was what he had imagined. Just the two of you, spending forever somewhere tucked away from the rest of the world.
Looking around now, past the dust and rot and broken lock, you could almost see how this place might have been warm with enough work. With fresh wood, clean windows, a repaired porch. With Dean grumbling through every task and secretly enjoying the fact that he was building something he planned to keep.
That thought hit too hard.
You had the lodge by the lake now. That was the place where you and Dean had quietly started building a future. If fate was generous enough to let you grow old, that was where you had imagined ending up.
But still, before the lodge, before the wedding, the first version of that dream had been this. A small cabin in the woods.
Now your heaven turned into this. A nightmare. And you had no idea if the man you married would ever come back to spend any kind of forever with you.
Tears rushed hot into your eyes before you could stop them.
You blinked hard and looked away.
You were so caught in the thought that you didn’t notice Dean had stopped moving until you felt his stare.
When you looked up, his eyes were on you. The amused expression on his face almost made you want to throw up.
A cold draft pushed in through the broken doorway, cutting across the room and slipping under your open shirt. You shivered before you could stop yourself. It was late October, and you were sitting in a cold cabin wearing a thin dress shirt with half the buttons barely fixed.
That didn’t make you freeze as much as the flannel landing over your shoulders.
Dean had shrugged it off and stepped close enough to drop it around you, careful not to touch your skin. The amusement was gone. For one startling second, his face was serious.
You stared at him.
You wanted to throw the flannel off. You wanted to tell him to shove it up his demonic ass.
Instead, your fingers caught the edges and pulled it tighter around you.
Dean's scent hit you so hard you almost made a sound. Your throat closed.
You missed him.
You missed him so fucking much.
For three weeks, you had nothing except his pillow and his side of bed, losing the last traces of him day by day, the smell of cinnamon fading too fast from fabric that had gone cold.
Now he was here.
He was right here.
Dean was standing in front of you and it was him and it was not him, and the contradiction was so exhausting you wanted to scream until your throat gave out.
‘Alright.’
Dean’s voice filled the small space and forced you back into the room. He was watching you again, his expression harder to read now.
‘I need to make a run. Stat. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.’
You looked up at him, frowning. ‘You’re leaving? Now?’
‘Can’t have you catchin’ a cold, can we?’ His eyes moved over the flannel around your shoulders, then back to your face. ‘Unless you do your homework so we can cuddle.’
Jackass.
‘Bite me,’ you snapped, face tight.
Dean raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. He was down to the black T-shirt now. His bare forearms and biceps flexed with the movement, and your eyes dropped for half a second before you dragged them away and reminded yourself to have one single shred of self-respect.
Dean huffed, smug as hell.
‘Whatever you want me to do, baby.’ His voice dropped just enough to make your skin heat under the flannel. ‘Soon as you stop roasting the hell outta me.’
Your eyes snapped back to him, and you gave him the nastiest glare you could manage.
He only smirked and pulled the car keys from his jeans.
The sight of them made your stomach drop. Of course. He was taking the car. The only obvious way out and leaving you with thick trees and a broken door.
‘I’ll be right back,’ he said, tossing the keys once in his hand. ‘Try the woods if you want. I’ll find you anyway. And when I do, I’m probably gonna be in a bad mood.’
The casual threat in his voice brought the unease back fast. Your hand curled into a fist against the dusty cushion.
Dean turned toward the door, then stopped at the smashed threshold and glanced back over his shoulder.
‘I believe you’ve got my gun on you, right?’ he said. ‘I’d take it out if I were you. In case some wild animal decides to visit.’
Then he walked out.
You sat there, frozen, while he crossed the clearing and got into the Impala. The engine started, that familiar rumble moving through the trees, and your chest tightened again because the sound of Baby leaving felt wrong. He backed out of the clearing, turned between the trees, and disappeared down the narrow track.
The engine faded slowly.
Then the quiet settled.
You were alone.
In the middle of the woods, in a ruined cabin, with no phone, no car, no idea where you were.
And still, for a second, relief hit so hard your shoulders almost gave out.
His presence had been too much. Every second near him had forced your body to make choices your mind hated, and now that he was gone, you could finally breathe without worrying he would hear it.
You looked at the broken doorway. Then the trees. And for one reckless second, you considered running anyway.
You could go now. He was gone. The woods were open. You could pick a direction and move until your legs failed. Anything had to be better than sitting here waiting for him to come back, right?
Your hand tightened around the edge of the flannel.
No.
You already decided running was useless. Staying felt insane, yes, but running felt worse.
So you stayed.
Not because he scared you into obedience. Because you realized he made a stupid mistake.
Dean had left a Men of Letters legacy alone in a cabin full of surfaces.
You stood so fast your knees almost buckled.
The room tilted for one second, then steadied. You moved toward the kitchen, stepping over broken wood and dust, scanning counters, drawers, cabinets. Your hands shook as you yanked open the first drawer. Empty. The second stuck halfway before you forced it open with a hard pull. Utensils rattled inside, old and filthy.
Good enough.
You grabbed the first knife you found.
The blade was ugly, spotted with rust, the edge dull and chipped in places. You didn’t care.
You pushed Dean’s flannel off one shoulder, rolled your sleeve up, exposing the shivering skin of your forearm, and pressed the blade down.
Then you cut.
Dean wasn’t too thrilled about leaving her out there alone.
Running didn’t worry him. She was smart enough to know she wouldn’t get far with no phone and no clue where the hell she was. The woods were thick, the road back was a mess of turns and gravel, and even if she picked the right direction, he’d catch her before she got close to anything useful.
She knew that. She also knew who she belonged to.
No, the problem was the broken door.
That part kept digging under his skin while he drove, one hand on the wheel, the other resting against the seat beside him where he had her pinned just moments ago. He had left her in the middle of the woods with the front door smashed open, with no real barrier and nothing but a gun. If something wandered inside, some animal, some drifter, or some dumb son of a bitch who saw a cabin and thought it was empty, he was gonna decorate the trees with their guts.
Dean’s grip tightened on the wheel.
Yeah.
He hadn’t been kidding when he told her she was safer with him. He didn’t give a damn how that sounded. It was true. Dean didn’t like people touching what was his. His car, his weapons, his records, his wife. There was an order there, sure, and she was sitting pretty damn high on it.
The only person who got a pass was his brother, and even that depended on the day.
Maybe Dean was just a greedy ass. Maybe he had spent too many years owning nothing that couldn’t fit in the trunk of the Impala. Didn’t matter. His wife was his now, and that meant protected.
With him, she was safe. Everybody else could choke.
Dean pushed harder on the gas. The Impala took the narrow road hard, gravel spitting under the tires. He had the lock, the hinges, a couple pieces of cut lumber, screws, nails, a new latch, and the bottle he picked up because this whole damn day had earned him a drink.
Yeah, maybe he shouldn’t have left her alone. But she needed to learn. She needed to understand that pulling stunts had consequences. Refusing to get out of the car when he asked so nicely. Acting tough while shaking under him. Burning his back with those damn claws of hers.
Fuck, that had hurt.
He could still feel it across his back, even through the healing. Her hands dragging up under his shirt, her magic digging straight into him, hot and vicious enough to make his vision black out at the edges for a second. He should’ve been mad. He wanted to be mad.
He wasn’t.
Because it had been fun.
Seeing that fire in her, that furious defiance, her hand on his throat and her body over his in the front seat, had been the best damn thing he’d felt in weeks. She had looked scared and angry and alive, and it made him so hard he almost forgot he was being burned.
He still felt her weight in his lap. Still remembered the way she froze when she realized exactly what she was doing to him. Still remembered the little catch in her breathing when embarrassment hit and her body answered before she could shut it down.
That was why he had taken her. That right there.
The silent calls had been good. Watching her chase him had been fun. But nothing came close to having her near enough to smell, near enough to touch if her magic wasn’t being a pain in his ass.
He was going to fix that. She was going to fix that. Then he was going to show her exactly how much fun they could have once she stopped resisting.
Right now, she was scared of him. Fair enough. He enjoyed that more than he probably should have. But she was scared of the wrong thing. He knew what was sitting in that head of hers. She thought he was going to force her to have sex with him.
That put a bitter taste in his mouth.
Dean took what he wanted now. Sure. No point in pretending he cared about morality or some other crap. But that? No. He wasn’t some pathetic piece of trash who needed to force his wife like that.
Where was the fun if she didn’t ask for it?
And she would.
Dean was damn sure of that. He knew every button she had. Knew what made her blush, what made her breath hitch, what made her shake. He knew how to get under her skin. Once that magic stopped getting in the damn way, he was going to push every single one until she stopped lying to both of them.
He was looking forward to that.
One more turn and the trees parted. Dean’s foot eased off the gas. The cabin sat in the clearing ahead, crooked and ugly, with the busted front door hanging open.
And blood on the windows.
Dean’s smile died. ‘Son of a bitch.’
He brought the Impala to a hard stop in front of the porch and stared.
She wasn’t outside. Didn’t come running. Didn’t show herself in the doorway. But the sigils were there, painted clear across the window frames, the doorframe, the visible boards around the threshold. Fresh blood. Her blood. Red lines curling into shapes he knew well enough to hate.
That sneaky little pain in the ass.
For one second, Dean just sat there with his hand on the wheel, jaw tight, anger climbing fast.
He had underestimated her.
He thought she would be scared. Thought she might try the woods, maybe hide behind the couch with his gun and that stubborn look on her face. He hadn’t expected her to turn the damn cabin into a bloody panic room while he was gone.
Which made him look like a fool.
And Dean Winchester didn’t like looking like a fool.
He slammed the car door hard enough to rattle the frame and walked toward the cabin, eyes moving over the sigils as he got closer. The blood was still visible. Wet in places. That was important. He had seen enough of her work to know the real nasty stuff didn’t stay looking like paint once she activated it. It burned in, sank deep, disappeared into wood and stone.
These weren’t set yet.
Which was good. If she had finished the work, this would have gotten real annoying real fast.
Still, the air pushed back when he stepped onto the porch. A pressure shoved against his chest before he even reached the threshold. His lip curled.
Clever girl.
‘I see you’ve been busy,’ he called.
Then he caught a movement inside. Dean’s eyes found her through the open frame.
She stood near one of the side windows, left arm bloody, right hand slick red to the knuckles. The knife in her grip looked nasty as hell, rusted and chipped, the kind of blade that tore more than it cut. Her shirt sleeves were pushed up, his flannel still hanging loose around her shoulders, her face pale and tight with panic and fury. Her fingers were pressed to the glass, dragging blood through the last unfinished curve of a symbol.
She looked pissed. Probably because she hadn’t been fast enough.
Dean stepped toward the doorway.
The ward shoved him back.
His jaw ticked. ‘Seriously?’
She didn’t answer. Didn’t even look at him for more than half a second. Just kept drawing, fast and messy, her blood leaving thick lines over the old glass.
Dean forced his voice level. Barely.
‘You think I won’t break every ward in this place to get to you?’
Still nothing.
The knife flashed in her bloody hand as she cut a fresh line over her forearm and went right back to the window.
Dean turned sharply and headed for the trunk.
He grabbed the hand axe.
By the time he came back to the porch, she had finished the window and moved deeper inside, toward the middle of the room. Her breathing was too fast. He could hear it from outside. Could hear the hitch under the anger. She was burning through strength she didn’t have, riding panic and that crazy stubbornness of hers.
Dean lifted the axe.
‘You’ve got five seconds to stop doing that and break the sigil at the door,’ he said, voice low. ‘Or I’m gonna do it myself, and believe me, you’re not gonna like what happens next.’
She looked at him then. Just one glance. Silent. Shaking. Furious.
Then she lowered her bloody fingers to her palm and started drawing another symbol on her own skin.
Dean’s blood went hot.
‘You’re testing the wrong damn guy.’
She didn’t stop. Of course she didn’t stop.
That was his wife. Smart enough to know better and determined enough to do it anyway.
Dean swung the axe.
The blade slammed into the wood above the doorframe, biting through the blood line and splitting the old plank underneath. The ward snapped against him, hard enough to make his teeth clench. She flinched inside, but her bloody fingers kept moving.
Fine.
Dean swung again.
Another line broke under the blade. Then another. He chopped through the side of the frame, scraped the axe hard across the threshold, tore into the blood lines until the pressure pushing against him started to weaken. The spell fought back in ugly pulses, snapping at his skin every time he broke another piece.
He kept swinging. Wood cracked. Blood smeared. The air around the doorway shuddered once.
Then the force gave.
Dean stepped inside.
She stood in the middle of the room with her bloody palm half-marked and the rusted knife raised in her other hand. The second she saw him cross the threshold, real fear hit her face.
That fear should’ve pleased him, but it didn't.
It made something in his chest go mean and tight, because why the fuck did she still look at him like he was going to bury the axe in her? Why the fuck did she keep making him prove the same thing over and over? He didn’t want to hurt her. He wanted his wife, his hands on her, her magic out of the way, all that fight turned into something more pleasant than this.
And now her blood was everywhere.
Fresh. Red. Deadly.
Her touch hurt, yeah. But her blood could do worse. Much worse. They both knew that. The knife was covered in it, held between them with enough warning to make even him slow down.
Dean looked at the blade, then at her face. He threw the axe onto the couch. It landed with a dull thud in the dust.
Then he lifted both hands.
‘That was smart,’ he said slowly. ‘I’ll give you that. Almost impressed.’
Her chest rose and fell too fast. ‘Stay back.’
Dean’s mouth twitched. He stepped closer.
She didn’t step back. The knife stayed up, bloody and shaking, pointed right at his chest.
Her arm was a mess. Long cuts, uneven and ugly, blood slipping down to her wrist and dripping off her fingers. She was exhausted. He could see it now, clear as day. Pale face, trembling hand, knees locked because they probably wanted to give out. She was holding herself together with anger, fear, and not much else.
That made her dangerous. Reckless.
‘Put the knife down,’ Dean said.
She didn’t.
His patience thinned.
‘Sweetheart,’ he warned, voice dropping, ‘put the knife down before I stop finding this cute.’
Her hand shook. Just a little.
Dean moved, fast. He caught her wrist from the outside, avoiding the bloody edge, twisted just enough to break her grip, and knocked the knife out of her hand. It hit the floor and skidded under the table.
For half a second, everything went still.
She looked at her empty hand.
Dean braced.
He was ready for her to slam that bloody palm against his chest. Ready for the burn. Ready for pain bad enough to put him on his knees. He could take it. He’d have to. Because he was done letting her put weapons between them.
But she didn’t touch him.
Her face crumpled. Then she dropped to her knees and started sobbing.
Dean froze.
That was not what he expected. Not even close.
He stared down at her, hands still half-raised, body ready for a fight that had just disappeared out from under him. She folded over herself on the dusty floor, bloody hands covering her face, shoulders shaking so hard the flannel slipped down one arm. The sound of it filled the cabin, raw and broken and wrong.
Dean couldn’t move.
For one stupid second, all he could do was stare.
He had done it.
He had finally broken her.
That should’ve been good. Should’ve felt like winning. He had pushed her hard enough, scared her long enough, cornered her until the fight finally went out.
Except looking at her like that made something ugly crawl under his skin.
He didn’t want this.
No, this pissed him off.
He wanted the fire. The glare. The smart mouth. He wanted her angry enough to forget fear and brave enough to make him work for it.
This? This wasn’t fun. This was just a mess on the floor crying into bloody hands.
Dean’s jaw clenched.
‘Yeah,’ he muttered, mostly to himself. ‘Awesome.’
She didn’t look up.
He stood there another second, hating the sound, hating the blood, hating the way his own body wanted to go down there and pull her hands away from her face. Human Dean would’ve done it. Human Dean would’ve hit the floor beside her, whispered her name, apologized until his throat gave out.
Screw that.
Dean turned away and went back outside to deal with the busted lock.
The door still needed fixing. The cabin still needed to be safe. She still belonged to him, and the whole damn place was open to the woods.
So he left her on the floor and got to work.
It took her a while to stop.
Dean didn’t count the minutes on purpose, but he heard every one of them. Worked through most of it with his jaw clenched. The sobs slowed. Her breathing caught and settled, then broke again, then settled for real. He hauled the supplies in from the car, set the brown paper bag on the table, and started fixing what he had broken. Planks first. New latch after. He worked with his back half-turned to her, hammer in hand, because looking at her too long made him feel that same crawling anger again.
By the time she moved, Dean had the first board nailed over the worst part of the broken frame.
She stood slowly. No words, no smart comment this time.
That was worse.
She crossed to the sink, face blank, and turned the faucet. Pipes groaned somewhere in the walls before brownish water coughed out, then cleared enough for her to shove her hands underneath. Blood thinned and spiraled down the drain. She washed quietly, shoulders tight, his flannel still hanging around her.
Dean kept hammering. She kept washing. For a few minutes, the only sounds in the cabin were water, nails, and the old wood groaning every time he hit it.
When she shut the faucet off, Dean set the hammer down and walked toward her.
She heard him coming and went stiff.
He stepped close. She immediately moved back, hips bumping the counter behind her. Her eyes flicked to his hands.
Dean lifted them, palms out. ‘Relax. Just wanna see what you did to yourself.’
Her eyes snapped up to his. Her mouth tightened. ‘Don’t act like you care.’
Dean’s face stayed flat.
He reached for her arm. She tried to pull back, but he caught the edge of her sleeve and used the fabric to draw her closer. He lifted her forearm and looked.
The cuts were deep, ragged, and ugly. The kind of damage a dull knife made when someone used it in a hurry. His fingers flexed once in the fabric of her sleeve.
For a second, he didn’t say anything.
Dean stared at the torn skin, at the blood still welling slow and red along the uneven lines, and something mean twisted under his ribs. He didn’t like it. Didn’t like seeing her cut up like that. Didn’t like knowing she had done it to herself because he had left her alone long enough to get desperate. And he didn’t need her desperate. He needed her useful, breathing, and in one damn piece.
‘You shouldn’t have done that.’
She tried to yank her arm away. ‘Let go.’
Dean held the sleeve tighter. ‘If you’re gonna go to town on yourself with a knife, at least make it a sharp one. I thought you knew that.’
Her eyes flashed, and for a second, it looked like she might snap something back at him. She didn’t. Her mouth pressed shut, tight and shaking, and that bothered him more than any smartass answer would have.
Dean looked at the cuts again.
They were still bleeding, enough to make a mess. He had to watch where he put his hands because her blood was right there, warm and dangerous, coming out of her.
‘Goddamn,’ he muttered.
He let go of her sleeve before he could tighten his grip hard enough to hurt her. Then he turned and walked for the door.
She tensed behind him. He heard the quick shift of her feet and her shallow breath, but he didn’t look back. He crossed the porch, went straight to the Impala, and popped the trunk. The first aid kit was right where it always was, shoved in with the rest of the crap he kept for hunts and roadside emergencies. Dean grabbed it, slammed the trunk shut, and headed back inside.
She hadn’t moved.
Dean dropped the kit on the table, flipped it open, and dug through it with more force than necessary. Gauze. Tape. Antiseptic wipes. Bandage wrap. Good enough.
He glanced at her. ‘Sit.’
Her face tightened.
Dean’s eyes narrowed. ‘That wasn’t a request.’
She stayed standing for one more second. Then she sat at the edge of one of the chairs, stiff-backed, watching him with suspicion.
‘Don’t get all warm and fuzzy,’ he said, pulling out the antiseptic. His eyes dropped to the blood on her arm again, and his voice roughened all of a sudden. ‘I need you functional.’
That anger flickered again. Yeah, good.
Dean caught the edge of her sleeve and pulled her arm toward him through the fabric. She resisted on instinct, but there wasn’t much strength behind it anymore. Her hand was cold. Her pulse was racing. Her whole body was running on fumes.
He set her forearm on the table and worked without making a big production out of it.
The antiseptic came first. She hissed when he cleaned around the cuts, her fingers curling against the wood. Dean ignored the sound because he had to. Looking at her face every time she made a noise like that was a real bad idea, and he wasn’t in the mood to deal with whatever crap that dragged up.
‘Hold still.’
She did, mostly.
The cuts were real nasty up close. Jagged edges, uneven depth, skin torn to all hell. Dean tore open another batch of the antiseptic wipes, folded them over a thick wad of gauze, and used that to clean around the wounds. The wipes did the job. The gauze kept his fingers away from the blood. He wasn’t stupid enough to get any of it on him. He had learned plenty today.
Still, his jaw kept tightening.
He should’ve been pissed that she tried it. And yeah, he was. But damn if part of him didn’t like seeing her fight that hard. The rest of him wanted to throw that rusty piece of crap knife through a wall, because fighting him was one thing. Cutting herself open to do it was something else.
He found himself reaching with his other hand, slowly this time, and tracing one fingertip along the inside of her forearm, just beside one of the cuts. Close enough to feel the heat of her skin.
The sting came immediately. A low hiss rose from the contact, and pain bit into his fingertip.
Dean ignored it.
Goosebumps rushed over her skin.
He saw them. Of course he saw them.
He let himself look for a moment, enjoying the way her heartbeat quickened under his smallest touch. She could glare all she wanted. Her body still knew him.
Dean finally wrapped the gauze around her forearm and taped it down. He pulled it tight enough to hold, checked the edge with his thumb, then tore the tape with his teeth and pressed it flat.
When he finished, he didn’t let go right away.
Her arm stayed in his hand, covered now. Even under the gauze, her skin still had a warning heat to it, just enough to remind him what she could do.
His eyes lifted to hers. She looked wrecked. Tired past the point of hiding it. Red eyes, pale face, jaw still clenched because she hated that he had seen any of it. Yeah, she needed sleep. Food too, probably. Maybe a drink. A damn minute where nobody pushed her.
Well. Too bad.
Dean wasn’t done for today.
‘Alright,’ he said, voice low and careful, ‘now you’re gonna take those bloody masterpieces down while I finish fixing the door.’
She stared at him. He jerked his chin toward the brown paper bag on the table.
‘Then we’re gonna crack that bad boy open, and you and me are finally gonna talk.’
CHAPTER 10 here
A/N: And now I’m curious... what are your feelings about Demon Dean at this point? Is it love, love/hate, or just pure hate?
Also:
- There’s a reference in here to one of my giant movie guilty pleasures. Whoever catches it gets a gold star.
- There’s also a scene that mirrors a moment from a completely different setting in one of the other sequels. I didn’t spell out the reference, but let me know if you caught it.
Life has been kicking my ass lately and I haven’t been able to catch up on your writing in so so long. But sometimes one of the few things that get me through a hard day or just hard time is telling myself “if you get through this, you will have so much wonderful writing waiting for you 😭” thank you thank you for writing and be prepared to get annoyed by me in your mentions in the upcoming weeks lmaoo 😭 I hope you are doing well 🫶🏻
Oh wow, this one really got me. Thank you so much ❤️
I’m really sorry life’s been hitting you that hard lately. I hope it eases up on you soon. And the fact that my writing gets to be one of the things you look forward to when things are hard... I'm just... yeah. It means a lot.
So please don’t stress about catching up. It’ll all still be here whenever you have the time and energy for it. And you are absolutely not going to annoy me, I’m so looking forward to it, you have no idea!
I’m doing okay, thank you for asking. And I’m sending you lots of patience in whatever you're dealing with 💕
Summary: You finally catch up with Dean, but being alone with him proves much more dangerous than you anticipated.
CHAPTER 7 MASTERLIST
Story tags: Demon!Dean, Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Action, Violence, Angst, Drama, Blood Magic, Blood play, Smut, Rough sex, Emotional strain, Moral conflict, POV Dean Winchester, Canon Divergence, Married Dean Winchester, POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n, Ordinary sequel
A/N: Here we go. Let me know if I got that Demon Dean character right.
Dean was living his best life.
About damn time, too.
He had no idea how the hell he woke up with black eyes after Ramiel beat his ass into the floor of Hell and sliced him open, and he didn’t really care. There was probably some big answer. Some cosmic crap. Maybe he’d punched his card enough times downstairs to get the upgrade.
Whatever.
Worked out pretty damn good from where he was sitting.
Being a demon had perks. The healing? Awesome. Getting punched, cut, burned, shot, all of it went away before it could turn into a real problem. The strength wasn’t half bad either. He could drop a grown man with one hit if he felt like it. And yeah, most days he felt like it.
The black eyes were a nice touch too. Scared the hell out of people. Saved time.
Best part, though? No guilt.
No shame. No voice in his head asking what Sam would think, no damn lecture about doing the right thing. No saving people, hunting things, family business sitting on his back every second of the day, weighing him down.
That had been the real joke, hadn’t it? All those years thinking he was free because he had the car and a road in front of him. Bullshit. He’d been chained to everybody else's problems since he was four years old. Dad’s orders. Sammy’s life. The world ending every other damn Tuesday. Angels. Demons. Prophets. Hell. Heaven. Purgatory.
Her.
His wife looking at him with those eyes every time she thought he was one bad day away from losing it.
Exhausting.
Now? Now he did whatever the hell he wanted. Drank until the bottle ran dry, then grabbed another. Ate when he felt like it. Slept when he bothered. Picked fights because some asshole looked at him wrong, breathed too loud, or because Dean was bored and wanted to feel bones crack under his fist.
And people got in his way. A lot. Bartenders with opinions. Bouncers with hero complexes. Some jackass at a gas station waving a gun around before Dean had even finished reading his morning papers.
Yeah, Dean liked fixing that.
Liked how fast a room changed when everybody realized he wasn’t playing by the same rules. Liked the fear, and the silence after. That look people got when their brains finally caught up and told them they’d made a real bad call.
Mostly, though, he liked being left the fuck alone. No wife, no brother, no friends breathing down his neck.
Yeah. Dean was having the time of his life.
Except that was a load of crap.
Because the truth was, he was pissed.
Goddamn furious, actually. It sat under his skin, all day, every day. He drank, fought, laughed, sang bad karaoke just to piss off a whole bar. He let women smile at him, touch his arm, lean in close and make promises they thought sounded dirty.
He hit strip clubs because why the hell wouldn’t he? Cheap booze, loud music, naked women. And nobody asking him what he was feeling after.
Should’ve been perfect.
It wasn’t.
He tried anyway. Let a blonde in a red dress drag her nails down his chest. Let a brunette breathe filthy crap into his ear. Sat close enough to the stage that some dancer’s perfume stuck to his jacket, her thighs right there, bare and open because he had cash in his hand.
Nothing.
A whole lot of nothing.
His body worked fine. Better than fine, actually. His brain was the problem. His stupid, stubborn, son of a bitch brain kept looking at every woman in front of him and picking her apart. Lining her up against the one that wouldn’t get the hell out of his head.
Too tall. Too thin. Too loud. Wrong mouth. Wrong laugh. Wrong hands. Wrong eyes.
Wrong everything.
And why the fuck should he chase other guys’ scraps when he already had the good stuff?
That was the part that pissed him off. He could have anyone. That should’ve been the whole damn point. Take what he wanted and move on. Except every time some woman got close, all he could think was that she wasn’t his. Didn’t know where to put her hands. Didn’t know when to push, when to shut up and let him get his mouth on her. Didn’t know what made him lose his goddamn mind.
His wife knew.
Yeah, his wife burned him now, which was a real pain in the ass, but she knew.
And that was the problem.
He’d been in a strip club a few nights ago. The dancer had leaned down, all fake smile and practiced moves. She was good. Dean would give her that. Had the whole room watching. Men sitting there with their mouths open, ready to empty their wallets because a pretty girl looked at them for five damn minutes.
Dean watched her and got annoyed.
Because she wasn’t his wife.
Then his brain did something stupid. He pictured her up there instead. Her body under the lights. Her hips moving. Her eyes on him. That nervous little look she got when she wanted to be bold and hated being watched at the same time. All those men staring at her. Wanting her. Thinking about her.
His hand tightened around his glass until it cracked.
He reached for the dancer, and some bouncer decided to be a hero. Dean barely remembered what the idiot said. Something about hands off. Something about taking it outside. Then the guy touched the dancer’s arm, guiding her back. And Dean saw that hand on his wife.
That was it. Lights out.
He had the guy’s face smashed against the edge of the stage before the poor bastard even understood he was in a fight. Blood hit the floor. Somebody screamed. The dancer stumbled back so fast she almost ate shit in her heels. Dean kept hitting him. Again and again, because the picture wouldn’t get out of his head.
Another man’s hand on his wife. Another man thinking he could tell her what to do.
Hell no.
Nobody touched what belonged to him.
And she belonged to him.
Yeah, okay. He left her. That one was on him. He walked out of the bunker because he could. Left Sam on the floor with his girlfriend scrambling for him. Left his wife standing there with his gun in her hands and that broken look on her face.
Because she shot him.
His sweet, bleeding-heart, please-let-me-save-you wife put a bullet in his chest because he pushed her hard enough and she broke right where he wanted her to. He could still feel it. Her hand under his. The kick of the gun. The way her whole face went empty after, like he’d made her do something she could never take back.
Yeah. He had.
And damn, had it felt good.
Dean was pretty sure he could make her do anything. Because she loved him that much.
He didn’t love her like that anymore. That soft crap was gone. The hand-holding, wedding-vow, die-for-you garbage. Human Dean could keep all that. Dean wasn’t sitting around missing candlelight or pillow talk or that look she gave him when she thought he was still good underneath.
Screw that. He didn’t want to be fixed. He didn’t want her telling him he was sick, or Sam looking at him with that kicked-puppy face and talking about cures.
But her love?
That was fun.
She loved him so much she couldn’t think straight when he was in the room. She loved him so much she followed him even after he dropped Sam. She aimed a gun at him with both hands shaking and still needed him to make the call.
His wife loved him so much he could stand in front of her with someone else’s blood on his hands, and she’d still search his face for her husband.
That was devotion. That was power and she had handed it to him. Just like that. The only irritating part was the burn.
Because she was his.
And Dean wanted her.
That was where everything kept jamming up. He wanted his hands on his wife. Wanted her under him, over him, against him. Wanted her breathing hard, trying to hate how much she still reacted. Wanted her mouth, her thighs, her hands grabbing at him because, for one second, she forgot she was supposed to be scared.
Yeah, he wanted that part where she stopped thinking. Always his favorite.
And now he couldn’t touch her.
Every time he thought about that, he wanted to break something. So he did. Trashed a motel room one night just because there wasn’t anybody around worth hitting. Broke the mirror, smashed a chair through the TV, tore the place apart until his knuckles were bloody and healed again.
Didn’t help.
Cheap girls didn’t help. Drinking didn’t help. Porn didn’t help. The fights got boring. Even the fear started tasting the same.
His mind kept going back to her.
Every damn time.
So he started calling. At first, it was funny. Just a little game. Let the phone ring once, maybe twice in the middle of the night. Hang up before she could answer. Picture her jolting awake, scared and hopeful, reaching for the phone with his side of the bed cold beside her.
Yeah, that was good. But then she called back and that changed things.
The first time he heard her voice through the line, rough with sleep and fear, Dean had to close his eyes. That pissed him off, too, because it worked on him. Not in some sad, soft way. It didn’t make him want to apologize or crawl back home and beg her to forgive him.
Fuck that.
No, it made him want to be there. In the room with her. In their bed. Close enough to watch her say his name with that crack in her voice. Close enough to see if she’d reach for him before she remembered she shouldn’t.
So he said nothing.
Let her ask who it was. Let her breathe too hard into the phone. Let her finally whisper his name. Dean didn’t answer. He just listened. And well… maybe he enjoyed that more than he should have.
He knew they’d been chasing him for three weeks.
Sam, because Sam was predictable as hell. He’d hunt until he dropped. Make that tight, miserable face and talk about saving Dean because Sammy never knew when to quit. Charlie helped for sure. Eileen too, trying to keep Sam from losing it. Cas probably hovered around being useless, feeling guilty.
Dean let the whole Scooby gang catch enough to keep them moving. Left crumbs when it suited him. Let them get close, then walked away. Again and again.
But all he wanted was to get his wife away from them.
Dean wanted her alone. With him. Long enough to stop focusing on a pointless cure and admit she still wanted him. Even like this. Especially like this. She admitted once, a long time ago, she had a thing for dangerous Dean. Well, it didn't get more dangerous than this.
He just needed to figure out how to shut that damn burn off, because Dean was done watching from a distance. Done listening to her voice through a phone. Done pretending any woman who wasn’t her was worth his time.
He smiled behind the wheel of a stolen car and turned toward the gas station ahead.
Time to pick up his wife.
He waited until Sam got out of the car.
His wife sat in the passenger seat with the laptop open across her knees, head down, working hard. Probably blaming herself for every bad thing Dean had done since he walked out of the bunker.
Yeah. This was gonna be fun.
Dean watched from the side of the building, out of view of the pumps and the store windows. Sam went inside to pay for gas and that was all Dean needed.
He slid in behind the wheel and shut the door. She didn't even look up. He was right beside her and she had no damn clue.
He took one second to look at her before she noticed. She looked tired as hell. Pale, dark circles under her eyes. Hair pulled back too tight. His ring still on her finger.
Dean smiled.
Then he turned the key.
Impala woke up under his hands with that familiar rumble and his smile got wider because she still didn’t look up.
Eyes moving fast over the screen, one hand near the trackpad, the other resting against the side of the laptop. He could see the tension in her shoulders, the stubborn set of her mouth. Even worn down, she was still working the problem. Still trying to find him. That was that devotion again. Right there. Stupid and dangerous, making her careless because she was too busy trying to save the guy she married.
Adorable, really.
Dean let his eyes drag over her slowly. The FBI fit was a test of his goddamn willpower. The white shirt was holding on for dear life, buttons straining, fabric pulled tight across her chest. Dark slacks hugged her thighs where the laptop rested. She had probably thrown the outfit on without the second thought. To look official while they ran around the crime scene.
Dean wanted to haul her across the seat and ruin the whole crisp little fed suit. Ruin her. He had missed that body more than he wanted to admit and now it was sitting inches away from him.
His fingers tightened on the wheel. The burn was the only thing stopping him. The fact that if he grabbed her now, she might scorch half his damn skin off before they made it out of the parking lot.
Fucking annoying.
He bit his bottom lip hard enough to feel the sting, dragged his eyes back up, and finally gave her the courtesy of letting her know their little game had changed.
‘Hey, sweetheart.’
Her whole body went still. Just for a split second.
Then her head snapped up fast enough for him to see the shock hit. Her eyes went wide. The last bit of color drained out of her face, and Dean watched fear kick through. Then disbelief.
He stayed relaxed behind the wheel, one hand resting low, the other near the gearshift. Her gaze moved over his face before she could stop herself. She took in the hair, the scruff, his hands. Took him in sitting there in his own damn car, grinning at her, and he saw the exact second her panic got tangled with something messier.
Dean caught that, of course.
Fear was there, a lot of it. Smart. He was dangerous, and she knew it. But her eyes dropped to his mouth, and he could tell by the way her lips pressed together right after… she hated that she looked.
Yeah, she definitely liked what she saw. He always knew when she liked what she saw.
Dean’s grin sharpened.
Her hand twitched toward the door and he didn’t move to stop her. He didn't have to.
She looked toward the store. Toward the open lot outside the windshield. He could practically see the thoughts lining up in that big brain of hers. Open the door. Scream for Sam. Burn him if he grabbed her. Maybe jump out before he pulled away. Good plan, a real solid hunter move.
She didn’t do any of it.
Because she had been searching for him for three weeks, and now he was right there. Because she wasn’t stupid enough to throw away the first real shot she’d had since he walked out of the bunker.
Dean looked at her and smirked. ‘How ’bout we go for a ride?’
She didn’t answer. Her throat moved when she swallowed.
Dean kept his eyes on hers for another beat, because he wanted her to know exactly what was happening. ‘Just you and me.’
Then he shifted into reverse and backed the Impala away from the pump.
That finally broke something loose in her. ‘Dean.’
God, that voice. Rough from exhaustion. Careful as hell. Trying so hard not to shake.
‘What are you doing?’
Dean turned the wheel, eased Baby toward the exit, and smiled at the road.
‘Oh, whatever I want.’
Her breathing changed. Just a little. Not enough for a human to catch. Human Dean probably would’ve missed it too, busy being torn up about feelings.
But now, Dean caught everything.
Her eyes flicked toward the gas station doors again. Of course, Sam was still inside. Dean didn’t even look. Didn’t care enough to. What he cared about was having her eyes back on him. He liked them there. And three weeks of watching from a distance had made him meaner about it. He wanted her looking. Wanted her scared, wanted her mad. Wanted all that attention aimed at him where it fucking should be.
In the rearview mirror, the station door burst open. Sam came running out, face going slack with panic when he saw the Impala moving. Poor Sammy. Always a step too late and making the same pathetic expression every damn time.
His wife turned in the seat, looking back through the rear window.
‘Sam,’ she breathed.
Dean gave the gas a little more pressure.
The engine opened up and the car surged forward fast. Sam ran, chasing them for a few useless seconds. Dean watched him in the mirror, long legs rushing through the lot, one hand already reaching for his phone. He shouted something Dean couldn’t hear. Then he slowed. Stopped. Stood there in the lot, getting smaller by the second.
Dean chuckled. ‘Attaboy.’
Her phone buzzed almost immediately.
Dean held out his hand, palm up, eyes on the road. ‘Your phone.’
She didn’t move. The phone buzzed again.
His fingers curled once in the air. ‘Sweetheart?’
Dean glanced over. She had pulled it from her pocket, and Sam’s name lit up the screen. Her thumb hovered close, but she didn’t answer. She looked at Dean instead, fear tighter now.
He could see the defiance sit under the fear. Small, stubborn, right in her eyes. She knew the phone mattered. She knew why he wanted it. And she didn't want to give it up easily.
‘Give me the damn phone!’
The snap of his voice made her flinch. His mouth twitched, because he didn’t care. She wanted to play tough, she could deal with him running short on patience.
She chewed the inside of her cheek. Weighing her options. Then she slapped the phone into his palm, hard. And made damn sure her fingers dragged across his skin when she did it.
Pain shot through his hand, hot and mean. His palm hissed. Smoke curled up between his fingers for half a second before the contact broke. Dean’s grip tightened around the phone, and his jaw clenched before he could stop it.
Son of a bitch.
She watched him, chin lifted, eyes bright with terrified satisfaction.
Dean laughed under his breath, flexing his burned fingers around the phone. The skin was already stitching itself back together, but the sting stayed long enough to piss him off. And turn him on at the same time.
So that was how she wanted to play.
‘Good girl.’
Her expression twisted.
Dean crushed the phone in his fist. Plastic cracked, glass popped. The screen shattered inward, buzzing once in a pathetic little rattle before going dark. He rolled down the window and tossed the pieces out onto the road.
She watched them scatter behind the car. For one second, her face slipped. Fear came up again, sharp and real. She looked out the windshield, then toward the side mirror. Tracking the route. Counting turns. Trying to figure out where Sam was behind them and how long before he got a car.
Dean could almost respect it.
‘Where are you taking me?’ she asked, jaw flexing.
Dean didn’t answer. Silence bothered her more. He knew it would.
She shifted in the seat, anger taking over. Good. He always liked her with some fire in her. Her breathing had picked up again, and that damn shirt was still doing its best to keep his attention.
Dean forced his eyes back to the road.
She stayed quiet for a while.
Not because she had nothing to say. Dean knew better. Her mouth was tight, her hands clenched around the laptop, and her pulse jumped at her neck. She was holding back. He could almost see her building and rebuilding the plan. If she jumped out, she got hurt. If she burned him, he might crash the car. If she pushed too hard, Dean might disappear again.
That was the part holding her still. He knew it. She knew it.
She wasn’t backing down because she trusted him. No, she was doing it because leaving meant losing him all over again.
Dean dragged his teeth over his bottom lip, because damn if that didn’t work for him.
He reached over and closed the laptop with two fingers. His arm passed close enough that her breath hitched and she jerked it away from his reach. His eyes flicked down. That shirt pulled tighter, the fabric straining across her boobs with the sudden movement. His grip tightened on the wheel until the old leather creaked.
‘Put that in the back.’
‘It’s not connected to anything because you crushed my fucking phone,' she mouthed off. That pleased him more than it should have.
‘Good,’ he said. ‘And I also told you to put the damn thing in the back.’
She didn’t move fast enough.
Dean let the smile drop.
‘Now.’
That did it. Her eyes flicked to his face, and this time she must have seen something there she didn’t want to push. She turned carefully, set the laptop on the back seat, then faced front again with both hands in her lap.
Dean glanced down.
‘Look at you,’ he said with a little smirk. ‘Still wearing the ring.’
Her left hand tightened before she looked down. Then she covered it with her right.
Dean huffed a quiet laugh. ‘That’s cute.’
Her gaze moved to his hands on the wheel.
He flexed his left hand, letting her see the bare finger. No ring. He hadn’t really thrown it away, he just didn’t need it on his hand. Didn’t need the silver and her blood sitting there pretending they meant the same thing now.
Her face cracked for one second before she forced it down.
‘Aw,’ he said, smiling. ‘You don’t like that, do you?’
She stared out the windshield.
Dean leaned back, one hand loose on the wheel. ‘I can hear your breathing change, sweetheart. It's, uh, cute little tell you’ve got there.’
‘Where are you taking me?’ she asked again, voice firmer now.
She was pulling herself back together. He could practically see her trying to keep her breathing under control.
‘Already told you. For a ride.’
She turned toward him, lifting her hand a few inches between them, palm angled toward him. A warning. Her fingers were steady enough to look almost impressive.
‘I won’t ask again.’
Dean glanced at her hand, then back at the road.
‘Or what? Hm? You gonna touch me?' he smiled, flashing his black eyes. 'Go ahead, make a move. See how it ends.’
He expected her to recoil at that. She didn't. Her hand stayed there.
Brave little act, sure. But now it was kinda starting to get on his nerves. Also making his blood heat in a way that had nothing to do with rage.
‘You still think your touch scares me?’ he asked. ‘That’s great.’
He checked the mirror, took the next turn with easy speed, and watched the empty road ahead.
Every second sitting this close to her was starting to grind under his skin. She smelled the same. That was the real problem. Same shampoo, same skin, same warm, sweet scent. Close enough to touch and still completely out of reach.
Three weeks of cheap liquor and even cheaper women, and now she was right there.
He wanted his hand on her knee. Wanted his fingers under that shirt, popping those buttons one by one because they were already fighting a losing battle. Wanted to lay her down on the bench seat and remind her how fast he could make her stop thinking.
His palm still stung from the phone, reminding him her magic sat between them like a goddamn wall.
Dean flexed his burned fingers around the wheel and smiled because the alternative was putting his fist through the dash.
‘Look, we both know you ain’t gonna do it. Not while you still think your Dean’s coming back.’
Her mouth tightened.
‘The only reason I’m holding back,’ she said through her teeth, ‘is because I don’t want to accidentally kill you.'
‘Uh-huh.’
‘But believe me, I have no problem hurting you.’
Dean’s smile widened. Because that right there, that was something worth playing with.
‘Yeah, I bet you don’t,’ he said. ‘Gun worked just fine, right?’
Yep, perfect hit.
Her reaction was exactly what he expected. Anger dropped out of her face so fast it was almost funny. Pain was there now, real pain. She tried to hide it by turning toward the window, jaw tight, one hand curling against her thigh.
Dean remembered the sound of that shot like it had happened five minutes ago. He had pushed and pushed until she broke, and part of him still liked knowing he could do that.
‘That one still keeping you up?’ he asked, knowing damn well what he was doing to her.
She didn't answer right away, just kept staring at the road outside. Then she looked at him slowly.
‘Fuck you.’
Her eyes flashed and for a second, he thought she might actually touch him. Slap him, burn him, make him swerve straight off the damn road. And part of him wanted her to. Part of him wanted her to stop pretending she was nice and sweet, and finally hit back.
Instead, she curled the hand on her thigh tighter. She breathed in through her nose, slow, careful. Trying to calm down, to hold herself back. Dean watched the way her chest rose and hated the goddamn shirt again.
The want came up hard enough to make his teeth clench. He wanted to grab the back of her neck and make her look up at him.
He didn’t.
Couldn’t.
Because of the fucking magic.
Dean turned down another road. Less traffic now, fewer houses, more trees crowding the edge of the pavement. He knew where he was going. Had picked the place a couple days ago. Sam wouldn’t find it fast. Cas might not find it at all if Dean got the angel proofing right.
She noticed the turn and her posture changed. Shoulders tighter. Right hand moving toward the door again, very slow this time.
‘Relax,’ he said and his voice came out a little strained. Dean forced his hand loose on the wheel before the leather cracked under his grip. ‘I’m not gonna hurt you.’
She scoffed, but there was no humor in it. ‘You expect me to believe that?’
‘I’m serious.’ He glanced at her, voice dropping. ‘If I wanted you dead, sweetheart, you wouldn’t be sitting there glaring at me.’
She swallowed. Then her eyes narrowed, because the road closed in ahead. Dean slowed just enough to take the turn, then cut the wheel hard onto a smaller road half-hidden between trees.
‘Then what do you want?’
Dean smiled again. He heard the shake under the words. She tried hard to bury it under anger. She always did that when she was scared and trying not to give anyone the satisfaction.
‘I want my wife,’ he said simply.
That made her flinch again.
Then she straightened, pulling herself back together.
‘Your wife is sitting right here,’ she said carefully. ‘So what happens now?’
Dean’s smile sharpened, but he said nothing. Instead, he turned his attention back to the road, because staring at her too long was making the hunger worse. She kept breathing too hard and he could hear every damn rise of her chest. He knew the difference between fear and wanting. Knew her body too well to buy the whole act.
Gravel cracked under the tires. The road behind them vanished fast, swallowed by the woods and the low growl of the engine. She looked out the windshield, then back at him, alarm rising fast now.
The trees closed in around them, thick and dark on both sides of the narrow road. Branches scraped along the car. Beside him, she grabbed the edge of the seat, eyes wide.
Dean kept one hand on the wheel and watched her from the corner of his eye.
She was scared now. Really scared.
Dean smiled and drove them deeper into the woods.
Every part of your body was screaming at you to do something.
Burn him. Grab him. Throw yourself out of the car and run for your life before he got you anywhere farther from Sam, farther from cameras and witnesses.
But your mind wouldn’t let you.
You had spent three weeks trying to find him. Three weeks staring at security footage until your eyes burned, chasing dead ends, listening to silent calls in the middle of the night, trying to push through grief and terror. And now he was here. Right next to you. Driving with one hand on the wheel and that awful smile on his face, taking you God knows where, while the broken pieces of your phone were scattered somewhere on the road behind you.
You couldn’t screw this up by panicking.
That was always how it went, wasn’t it? You thought you could fix something by acting fast, by throwing yourself into the worst part of the situation and trusting that courage would carry you through. Then it turned into something complicated and even more dangerous.
So no. You had to be smart.
You were scared out of your damn mind, of course you were. You were trapped in a car with a demon. You knew what demons were, what they did. What he had done.
Still, he had not killed you. He hadn’t even hurt you, not physically at least. He had crushed your phone, mocked you, scared you, and pushed every painful button he could reach, but he had still kept both hands to himself. That meant he needed something from you. Dean wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of taking you from under Sam’s nose just to leave a body in the woods. He wouldn’t risk Sam following, wouldn’t risk your magic against his skin unless there was a reason.
That was the part that made your blood boil.
He knew you wouldn’t hurt him unless you had no choice, and that every time you imagined using your hands on him like that, something inside you twisted. It made you so angry you almost wanted to hurt him just to wipe that certainty off his face.
But your husband was still inside him. Somewhere. Twisted, trapped, whatever the hell happened to his soul down there. And if you wanted to bring him home, if you wanted to cure him, you needed to be careful.
That didn’t mean seeing him drive you deeper into the forest wasn’t freaking you the hell out.
You had no idea what he was planning or why he had suddenly decided to come after you now. It sure as hell wasn’t love. You doubted demons loved anything besides saving their own filthy skins.
And power.
They loved power. You had learned that the hard way. With Abaddon, with Crowley, with every black-eyed son of a bitch that had ever smiled while trying to tear someone apart from the inside out.
So maybe that was what this was. Power.
This demonic version of your husband wanted control, and who better to practice on than his wife? The woman who still wore his ring, who could burn demons alive but couldn’t burn him without losing sleep over it?
Your hands curled around the edge of the seat. If he thought you were going to bow down and do whatever the hell he wanted, he was in for a rough ride.
At least, that was what you kept telling yourself while trying to ignore the insane fear blooming in your chest.
The road had barely been a road for the last few minutes. Gravel and dirt crunched under the tires, branches scraping against the Impala’s windows and roof with soft, ugly sounds that made your skin crawl. Baby was built for highways, back roads, long drives with music too loud and Dean’s hand warm on your thigh. She was not supposed to be here, carrying you deeper into a place where no one could see what happened next.
Trees pressed in on both sides, thick enough to block most of the fading light, and your pulse jumped again.
You hated that, so much, because apparently Dean could hear it now. Or sense it, or whatever creepy demon thing he had been using since he got into the car. He caught every hitch in your breathing, every time your body betrayed you by reacting to him, because he looked good. Terrifying, sure, but incredibly hot.
God, that part made you want to crawl out of your own skin.
Your husband had become the same thing that destroyed your family. The thing your great-grandfather had sacrificed himself to protect his wife and child from. The thing your bloodline had been built to burn.
And still your heart kicked too hard every time your body remembered how big and strong and confident he was beside you.
Fucking disgrace.
You forced your fingers to uncurl from the seat.
You were going to pull yourself together. You were going to focus on getting Dean back. You were going to keep him from hurting anyone else.
You were going to keep him from hurting you.
Dean made a slow turn through the trees, careful enough that it told you he had been here before. The road dipped, then climbed slightly, and the branches parted just enough for you to see the cabin ahead.
It was small, old, beat-up, with dark windows and a porch that looked one heavy step away from giving out. It was nothing like the lodge your great-grandfather had left you by the lake. This looked closer to the places Sam and Dean had been forced to use after Bobby’s house burned down.
Your throat tightened.
Dean rolled the Impala to a stop right in front of it and shut the engine off. The sudden silence pressed hard against your ears.
For a second, you couldn’t move. Your eyes stayed fixed on the cabin, trying to make sense of it. Part of you had expected this the moment he turned into the woods, because of course he wouldn’t take you somewhere public.
That still didn’t tell you what he wanted.
‘I know what you’re thinkin’.’
Dean's voice snapped you out of it, low and close enough to make your shoulders tense.
You turned your head to look at him.
He was already watching you. Leaned back in the driver's seat, his body angled toward you now, one arm draped over the wheel. His mouth curved with lazy satisfaction.
‘I’m not gonna rip your throat out and bury the body behind the shack.’
His eyes moved over you slowly. He caught his bottom lip between his teeth, and the look on his face made heat crawl up your neck despite the cold fear in your gut.
‘I might bite, though.’
Anger snapped through you so fast you almost snarled at him. He looked so pleased with himself. So careless and full of himself, making jokes while your pulse was still trying to beat its way through your throat.
Then the practical part of your brain finally caught up and you realized…
He wasn’t driving anymore.
The engine was off. The keys were still there. The wheel was right there.
You could threaten him. Burn him just enough to force him back. Incapacitate him, maybe. Get behind the wheel. Drive straight back to the bunker, lock him down, and start the cure before he had time to disappear again.
You didn’t give yourself time to think it through.
You threw yourself across the seat at him.
The space was tight. Your knee landed hard against his thigh, your ass slammed into the steering wheel, and the edge of the seat dug into you sharply enough to hurt. You didn’t care. One hand braced against the backrest behind his shoulder, and you forced yourself over him, straddling him awkwardly in the driver’s seat before he had time to react.
For once, Dean’s eyes went wide.
Not from pain or strain under your weight.
From pure shock.
For one glorious second, you had caught him off guard.
That gave you the opening.
You shoved your forearm under his jaw, pressing it hard against his throat and forcing his head back against the seat. Your sleeve kept your skin from touching his directly, which meant you weren’t burning him yet. Your fist stayed close to the side of his neck, bare knuckles barely an inch from his skin.
You leaned over him, breathing hard, face almost level with his.
‘Enough,’ you growled and your voice almost didn’t sound like yours.
Dean stared up at you. No smirk now.
‘If you think you can toy with me,’ you said, pressing your forearm harder into his throat, ‘if you think you can just kidnap me and I’ll follow like some lovesick puppy, you’re out of your damn mind.’
Dean stayed completely silent. His eyes were locked on yours.
You were shaking now, but rage made it easier to hide.
‘I will burn the fuck out of you.’
The words came fast, pulled out of grief and loss and every sleepless night, every nightmare, every silent call, every crime scene, every second you spent staring at his empty side of the bed, wondering what he was doing.
‘I swear to God, Dean, I will do it. I will cut my skin open and bleed on you if I have to, and trust me, that will hurt worse than anything you have ever felt.’ Your breath dragged through your teeth. ‘So unless you want to find out exactly how much of you I can burn off before you stop healing, you’re going to move your black-eyed ass out of the driver’s seat and let me take you home.’
You held him there.
Your forearm stayed hard against his throat. Your fist hovered close to his skin. Your heart slammed so violently you were sure he could hear it. His eyes sharpened under you.
Then his hands came up slowly and stopped at your sides, hovering just inches from your body. Not touching. Close enough that you could feel the heat of him through your shirt and the space between you. For one second, you braced for him to grab you.
He didn’t.
Heat started building under your sleeve where your arm pinned his neck. The fabric softened the burn, but it didn’t block it. Your magic pushed through anyway, and Dean’s jaw tightened just enough to tell you he felt it.
Good. Let him.
You expected him to fight. To throw you off. To slam you into the dash or grab your wrist and twist until something broke. You were ready for it. Terrified, but ready. If he hurt you, you would stop holding back.
But instead, his eyes narrowed.
His lips parted, and the tip of his tongue pressed briefly against his teeth.
Then the amusement came back. Slow. Awful.
Dean's hands lifted a little higher in mock surrender, smile spreading.
‘Oh, baby,’ he said, voice rough around the pressure on his throat, ‘I’m right where I wanna be.’
His eyes dropped.
You followed the look before you could stop yourself.
The sudden lunge had popped several buttons on your shirt free, leaving your bra and the heavy swell of your breasts exposed in the narrow space between you. Right in his line of sight.
‘Fuck,’ you snapped under your breath.
Heat rushed into your face, but you refused to move. This was not the time. You were not going to let him make you flustered enough to retreat.
You opened your mouth to repeat the demand. One last warning before things got ugly.
Then you felt him. Hard. Pressed right up against you where you were straddling his lap.
The realization hit so sharply that your hand almost slipped from its place near his throat.
Your face burned hotter. You were straddling him, threatening to burn him alive, and apparently this just counted as goddamn foreplay to him. Your whole body went rigid, heat rushing into places you should not be thinking about right now.
Dean felt you freeze. His smile turned filthy.
For one stupid second, embarrassment lowered your guard.
That was all he needed.
He moved with a strength you weren’t prepared for, even after everything you knew. One moment you had him pinned under your arm, and the next his hands closed on your waist, burning under the fabric as he hauled you off him and shoved you down across the front bench seat.
Air punched out of your lungs.
Your back hit the old vinyl upholstery. Your hip slammed against the edge of the seat. Before you could get your hand up, Dean was over you, one knee braced between yours, one hand planted near your ribs, the other gripping your shoulder, pinning you in place.
The fabric kept him from direct skin, but the burn still flared between you. You smelled it almost immediately. His skin blistering under his own grip. His jaw clenched, eyes black now, but he didn’t let go.
He leaned over you with a smile that made your chest seize.
‘You wanna play hunter with me?’ he asked, voice low and dangerous. ‘Fine. We can play all you want.’
You tried to twist under him. His grip tightened, and the burn got worse. Still, he didn’t move.
‘But if you keep pushin', sweetheart, eventually I’m gonna push back.’
You shoved against him with your forearm, trying to get enough space to bring your bare hand up. He shifted his weight down before you could, trapping your arm between your bodies. You kicked once, knee scraping against the underside of the dash, and he pressed his hips down harder to stop you.
Your breath caught.
You hated the tiny pull that answered low in your stomach. Hated it so much it made your eyes burn.
‘Get off me,’ you forced out.
Dean’s eyes dropped to your mouth, then back to your face. His smile widened just enough to tell you he had felt the change in your body.
The burn was getting worse. His jaw clenched, and a faint tremor moved through his fingers, but he still didn’t let go.
Then his expression shifted. The amusement faded. His eyes dropped to his hands, to the red, ruined skin already trying to heal, and for the first time since he pinned you, irritation cut clean through.
‘I want my wife,’ he said, quieter now. ‘Your magic’s gettin’ in the damn way.’
Your heart kicked.
The reason he had brought you here was suddenly clear, and it made your stomach turn.
Dean’s eyes came back to yours.
‘So now you’re gonna be a good little pet,’ he said, every word deliberate, ‘get out of the car, get inside the damn cabin, and handle it.’
Your mouth had gone dry.
You had known he needed something. You had known there had to be a reason he took you alive, a reason he called, a reason he played this game for three weeks and then finally came for you himself.
He wanted your protection gone. He wanted access to you without the burn.
Your voice scraped out of your throat. ‘How?’
Dean stared at you for a beat, then slowly pulled his hands away from your body. He still didn’t let you up. His palms braced against the seat on either side of you.
He was looking down at you with black eyes, his face hovering above yours so close you could see your own stunned expression in them.
‘I’m sure that big brain of yours can figure it out,’ he said. ‘But you’re not leavin’ this place until I can touch you.’
A/N: I hope I made Dean’s motivation clear enough. I was really trying to capture the obsession and the wanting, not him needing his wife because of some deep love he still feels for her. Also, I know it seems like she’s not burning him as badly as she burns other demons, and yes, I do have a theory for that too. Don’t worry.
Anyway, I struggled with this so much I almost dropped the whole story. The excitement kind of gave way to frustration because I just couldn’t get what was in my head down on the page the right way. Well… I guess that happens sometimes.
I did it, guys! I finished another chapter of What Comes Out.
I still need to do one last round of edits before I post it, because I’m scared as hell. I don’t think I’ve ever rewritten anything as many times as I rewrote this one. Writing Demon Dean’s POV turned out to be a challenge I seriously underestimated.
So please… be gentle with me when you read it.
Anyway, when you do, this is the Dean I want you to picture:
Summary: Three weeks after Dean leaves, you and Sam are exhausted, running on bad leads and the fear of what he is doing out there. When a fresh lead finally puts him close, you follow it, hoping this time you can get him back.
CHAPTER 6 MASTERLIST
Story tags: Demon!Dean, Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Action, Violence, Angst, Drama, Blood Magic, Blood play, Smut, Rough sex, Emotional strain, Moral conflict, POV Dean Winchester, Canon Divergence, Married Dean Winchester, POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n, Ordinary sequel
A/N: I hope this one won’t be too boring for you.
It took you three weeks to find Dean.
Considering you were tracking Dean Winchester, especially the version of him that did not want to be found, that was almost impressive.
The first week gave you nothing. No trace, no credit cards, no sightings that matched. No motel clerks who remembered him, no bartenders who looked at the picture on your phone and nodded. It was like he had walked out of the bunker and disappeared from the planet completely.
Which made sense, really. Dean knew how hunters tracked people. He knew every method Sam would use, every database you could tap into, every place you would think to check first. He knew how to disappear better than anyone you had ever met, and whatever came back in his body had all that knowledge without any guilt holding him back.
Then the second week started, and the silence broke. The bodies started to show up.
A man beaten half to death behind a bar. A bartender who swore the guy responsible had black eyes and a smile that made her skin crawl. A gas station camera catching the side of Dean’s face for half a second before the feed cut out. A motel room trashed so badly the owner called the cops before he checked the register. Injured strangers. Broken cameras. Bodies left behind with the kind of cold violence that made your stomach turn every time Charlie sent another file.
You learned quickly what became of your husband when his humanity was gone.
You also learned he was enjoying himself.
That was the part you tried not to think about too long, because if you let your mind sit with it, you felt something inside you tear wider. Dean was out there, hurting people, drinking, fighting, moving from place to place with no remorse and no hurry, while you ran on panic and too little sleep, and with the gunshot still echoing in your hands.
Every lead came too late. Every dead end felt like him laughing at you from somewhere far away.
Then he made a mistake.
Or maybe arrogance finally got the better of him. Maybe he thought you wouldn’t be able to follow him that far. Maybe he thought you wouldn’t be stupid enough to go after him after what happened in the bunker. Or maybe he wanted you to find him, because he was bored. Because he wanted to prove, one more time, that you only got close when he let you.
He used his real name.
A low-end motel registration system, two states away from the last bloody mess he left behind. Charlie’s tripwire caught it within minutes.
And that was where you went. Because you were going to get your husband back. No matter what it took.
The car ride was almost completely silent. Sam drove with both hands on the wheel, jaw tight, eyes fixed on the road. You sat beside him with a flask of holy water in one pocket, demon cuffs tucked under your jacket, and your hands folded together in your lap because if you let them move, they started shaking.
Neither of you said much. There was nothing useful to say. This was the mission now. The only mission that mattered. You both knew that.
Your body had gone past fear and into something harder. Colder. This time, you wouldn’t hesitate.
That was what you kept telling yourself.
You would do what you had to do. You would get close enough, burn him if you had to. You would use holy water, cuffs, traps, your magic, anything that stopped him long enough to start the cure. You had done hard things before. You had bled for spells, tortured demons. You had died for Sam. You had shot your husband in the chest.
You could do this.
You had to.
The plan was straightforward. You would wait until Dean was in his room, then go in alone.
Sam hated that part, so much he argued with you for almost an hour in the car. You argued back, because your hands were still your best chance. Dean knew that too, which meant he would be careful, but your touch was still stronger than anything Sam had. And some naive, desperate part of you kept hoping he would be less willing to hurt you than he had been willing to hurt Sam.
You felt stupid for hoping it.
Sam would wait outside the entrance. If Dean bolted, he would be there. If you managed to get the cuffs on him, Sam would come in. If things went bad, he would hear it.
It was a terrible plan, you knew that. But it was the only one you had.
The clerk at the reception desk was more than happy to point you toward the right room for a decent amount of cash. His eyes lingered on you a little too long, probably because you looked like you hadn’t slept in days. You didn’t really care.
The corridor smelled like old carpet, stale smoke, and cheap cleaning products. Your pulse climbed higher with every step.
Room 14.
The number sat crooked on the door.
Your stomach dropped when you reached it. Because the door was open. Just slightly. A thin strip of light waited between the frame and the edge.
Your hand tightened around the flask in your pocket.
‘No need to knock,’ Dean’s voice came from inside. ‘Just come in.’
The entertainment in his voice sent a wave of cold shivers through you.
Arrogant. Relaxed.
Waiting for you.
You felt Sam stop behind you, far enough back to keep to the plan, but you knew every instinct in him was screaming to shove past you.
You didn’t look back at him. There was no point turning around now. You took one breath, pulled the flask free, and stepped inside.
Dean was right there.
He was sprawled in a chair near the small motel table, one boot hooked against the leg, a bottle of beer loose in one hand. His jacket hung over the back of the chair. His hair was a little longer than it had been when he walked out of the bunker. He looked rested. Clean. Alive in a way that made something inside you ache so badly you almost forgot what he was.
His eyes were green when they landed on you. The smirk that welcomed you was easy and cold.
‘Took you long enough,’ he said.
He put the bottle down and stood slowly.
You hated the way your body reacted to that before your mind could stop it. He was tall and broad and so painfully handsome that looking at him still took your breath away, even after everything. Even now. Even knowing what he had done.
You forced yourself to focus. This was not your husband waiting for you in a motel room. This was a predator wearing the face of the man you loved.
‘How did you-’
‘You kiddin’ me?’ Dean huffed a laugh. ‘You think you’d find me if I didn’t want you to, sweetheart?’
The name landed exactly where he wanted it to. You braced yourself and took one step closer.
‘Why?’
Dean shrugged. ‘Figured it was time to finish this game.’
He raised both hands in mock surrender, that smirk still sitting on his mouth.
‘So come on. Show me what you got.’
Then his eyes went black.
Your pulse kicked.
Dean’s grin widened.
‘Oh, unless…’ His gaze dropped deliberately to your hands. ‘You wanna give the gun another go.’
He tapped his chest a few times, right where you had shot him.
Your stomach turned hard.
Your hands remembered the recoil. Your ears remembered the shot. Your body remembered Dean staggering back with blood spreading across his shirt while he smiled like you just handed him a gift.
You knew what he was doing. He was trying to make you nervous.
You couldn’t let him.
You took the flask from your pocket and threw the holy water at him before he could say another word. It hit him across the chest and neck.
Dean snarled.
The sound was rough and furious, almost more animal than human, and steam rose from his skin where the water soaked through his shirt. His body jerked back, one hand slamming against the table hard enough to make the beer bottle tip and roll off the edge. It shattered on the floor.
You moved.
The cuffs were already in your hand as you rushed him. Dean shook off the first wave of pain fast, too fast, and turned on you with black eyes and a terrifying grin.
‘That’s what I’m talkin’ about!’
You didn’t answer.
You grabbed his wrist. His skin burned under your hand immediately, the smell of it cutting through the cheap motel room air. Dean’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t cry out this time. You slapped one cuff around his wrist and heard it click shut.
For half a second, hope punched through you so hard it almost hurt.
One cuff. You had one cuff on him. You just needed the other.
Dean’s free hand caught the chain before you could pull it around.
He stepped in. Too close.
Your back hit the wall beside the bed, and the impact stole the air from your lungs. You tried to pull the second cuff toward his free wrist, but Dean’s cuffed hand shot up fast, dragging the short chain with it.
You couldn’t let go of the other cuff. That was the only reason he didn’t simply tear away from you and run. The metal was still your one piece of control, the one stupid, fragile advantage you had managed to get on him. At least that was what you kept telling yourself.
So when his cuffed hand shot upward, you held on.
Your arm went with it.
The chain snapped tight, yanking your hand above your head hard enough to make your shoulder flare with pain. Your free hand slapped against the wall on instinct, palm flat on the smooth surface to keep yourself upright.
For one second, you were pinned there by your own refusal to let go.
Dean knew better than to touch your skin. But he didn’t need to touch you to trap you. He stepped in until there was almost nothing left between you. His body crowded yours, big and solid, blocking the room, blocking the door, blocking the plan you had barely managed to hold together in your head. He kept his cuffed hand raised while his other hand stayed just out of reach.
You could burn him.
You knew that.
Your free hand was right there, pressed to the wall beside you. You could move it. You could slap it against his throat, his face, his chest, anything. You could make him scream.
But he leaned over you slowly, close enough that your body betrayed you again. Heat rose under your skin, unwanted and humiliating, because your own body did not understand the difference fast enough. For one horrible second, underneath the fear and the adrenaline and the smell of holy water burning through his shirt, there was something else. Something you should not have been capable of feeling right now.
Dean noticed.
His mouth curved.
He dipped his head lower, close enough that his breath brushed your cheek, and took one slow breath in through his nose. He was taking you in.
Your stomach clenched, and not from fear alone. That realization hit hard enough to make you hate yourself for it.
His black eyes stayed on your face, watching every flicker, every little failure of control.
‘That all you brought?’ he asked, voice low. ‘Holy water and some hardware?’
Your grip tightened on the loose cuff until the edge bit into your palm.
You needed to move. Needed to burn him. Needed to throw your knee up, twist free, do anything except stand there with your arm pinned above your head while your husband’s demon leaned over you like that.
But then his gaze dropped.
Lower.
At first, you thought he was looking at your free hand. Then you realized your shirt had shifted during the struggle. The neckline had pulled aside just enough for the top of your scar to show.
The scar. The only one Heaven had left behind. The place where your own knife had gone in when you died in that church so Sam could live.
Dean’s eyes fixed on it and everything in you went still.
His expression changed. Not much. But you saw it because you knew that face better than any face in the world. His mouth loosened, the cruel curve faded. His brows pulled together just a little.
Your breath turned shallow.
The black in his eyes vanished. Green looked back at you.
Dean’s green.
Your whole body forgot the cuff in your hand.
His cuffed hand came down slowly. He didn’t touch you. His fingers hovered over the scar, close enough that you felt the heat of him without contact.
Your eyes burned.
There. There it was.
You felt it so strongly that your knees nearly gave.
This was Dean. Your Dean. Buried somewhere under all of it, trapped under black eyes and cruelty and whatever Hell had done when Ramiel killed him. He remembered. He saw the scar and he remembered the church. He remembered you dying. He remembered what it meant. He was still there.
You had reached him.
You could cure him.
You could bring him home.
His eyes lifted from the scar to your face.
Then he whispered your name. Softly. Just once.
It went straight through you.
For one second, you thought he was going to say something else.
Then the knife hit.
No warning. No draw of weapon you could track. No time to move back or bring your hands up. Just Dean’s arm moving fast and the blade slamming into the place where his eyes had been fixed a second before. Right into your heart.
The pain stole every bit of air from your lungs.
You looked down.
His hand was wrapped around the handle. The scar was gone under fresh blood.
Your fingers closed around his wrist on instinct. His skin burned under your palm, smoke curling between you, but he didn’t pull away. He only leaned closer, close enough that all you could see when your eyes lifted again were his.
Still green. Still Dean’s.
Then his mouth curved again.
And you woke up choking.
You sat up so fast the room spun around you. For one second, you had no idea where you were. Your hand flew to your chest, fingers digging into the thin fabric of your sleep shirt, searching for blood, for the knife, for the open spot where your scar had been split apart again.
There was nothing. No blood. No blade.
Just your bedroom.
The bunker vents hummed quietly overhead and the nightlamp on Dean’s side of the bed painted the room in low yellow light. You hadn’t been able to turn it off since he left. You tried once, lasted maybe ten minutes in the dark before your mind started filling the room with the gun going off, with Dean looking back at you from the top of the stairs, with the sound of the bunker door closing.
So the lamp stayed on. Every night.
Your breathing was loud and ragged in the quiet room. Your shirt clung to your back and chest with cold sweat, and your hands shook so badly that it took you a second to pull them away from the scar and check your palms. Still no blood. You were fine. Dean hadn’t killed you.
Dean wasn’t there…
You grabbed your phone from the nightstand. The screen lit up too bright, making your eyes ache.
6:24 a.m.
You sighed heavily and dropped your elbow to your thigh, forehead falling into your palm. Your hair stuck to the side of your face. Your throat hurt, probably from the way you had woken up choking on a scream that never fully came out.
You sat like that for a moment, forcing air in through your nose and out through your mouth. It didn’t help much, but it gave your body something to do besides shake.
Then you saw the missed call icon on the screen and your breath stopped.
For a second, you just stared at it.
Unknown number.
Your heart, already beating too fast, kicked hard enough to make your chest ache. You unlocked the phone with clumsy fingers and opened the call log.
One missed call. 3:17 a.m.
Of course. Of course it was at night. It was always at night.
Your thumb hovered over the number for half a second before you pressed call back.
The ringing sounded too loud in your ear. Once. Twice. Three times.
Then the line clicked.
Silence.
You sat up straighter, every muscle in your body going tight.
‘Hello?’
Nothing. You swallowed hard.
‘Who is this?’
Still nothing.
You could hear your own breathing now, close to the phone, too uneven. Maybe that was all it was. Maybe the faint sound on the other end was your own panic laughing back at you.
But it didn’t feel like that. It felt like someone listening.
Your fingers tightened around the phone.
‘What do you want?’
Silence.
Your skin prickled. You closed your eyes because you hated yourself for what you were about to say. Hated that hope still found ways to crawl up your throat even after everything. Hated that he knew exactly how easy it was to make you hurt.
‘Dean?’
Your voice broke on his name. You opened your eyes and stared at the empty side of the bed.
‘Dean, is that you?’
The line stayed quiet for two more seconds.
Then it disconnected.
You lowered the phone slowly. For a while, you couldn’t move.
It wasn’t the first call since he disappeared. It was the third. Always a missed call first, always at night, always a different number. You never heard a voice. Never got anything that Sam could trace cleanly or Charlie could lock down fast enough. Just silence, breathing that might not have been breathing, and then nothing.
You knew it was him. You simply knew.
He was messing with you. Tormenting you, letting you know he was still out there, still aware of you, enough to reach into your room through a phone line and pull you apart without saying a single word.
And it worked. Every time. And you despised him for it, so much. Because you missed him so badly you could barely stand it.
You put the phone down on the bed beside you and pressed both hands over your face.
Three weeks. Dean had been gone for three weeks.
You watched him die in Hell, held him while his blood poured through your fingers and his eyes went empty, and you hadn’t even had time to grieve him properly. Because now he was alive somewhere.
Alive, moving, drinking, fighting, hurting people. Doing God knew what with God knew who. You saw his face on security cameras. Read his name in police reports. Your husband was walking through the world without his humanity, while you sat in your bedroom unable to sleep through a full night.
You were exhausted in a way sleep couldn’t fix. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally. Your body felt like it had been running for weeks. Food tasted like cardboard most days. You ate because Sam put something in front of you and watched until you took at least a few bites. You slept because your body finally shut down, then woke up worse than before because the nightmares kept finding new ways to give you Dean back and rip him away again.
At first, you cried all the time.
In the shower, in your lab, in the hallway outside the kitchen because you saw one of Dean’s favorite mugs in the sink and couldn’t breathe. In your bed with face pressed into his pillow, which had stopped smelling like him a little more each day no matter how tightly you held it.
But the tears came less often now. Though that didn’t mean you were better. It only meant your body had started running out of ways to show the damage.
Most days, you felt like a ghost wearing your own clothes. Moving through the bunker, opening laptops, reading files, checking cameras, answering Charlie’s messages, listening to Sam’s updates, nodding when Castiel appeared with another theory or another apology in his eyes. You did the things because the things needed doing. Because stopping meant thinking. Because thinking meant Dean's body on the floor. Dean’s hand over yours. Dean’s smile after the gun went off. Dean at the top of the stairs.
Still, every morning, you got up and looked for him.
And there was one reason you could keep doing that.
Sam.
Sam was going through his own private hell, and you knew that. He had lost Dean too. He had watched his brother die, carried his body through Hell, and then woken up from being knocked unconscious by the person he was trying to save. You saw the toll it took every time you looked at him. The weight loss, the dark circles. The way he went too still whenever someone said Dean’s name.
But Sam kept moving. He kept searching. And somehow, through it all, he kept you upright too.
He checked if you ate, made sure you slept at least a few hours, sat with you when you couldn’t be alone in your room and didn’t make you talk. He never said everything would be okay unless you needed to hear it, and even then, he sounded like he was forcing himself to believe it too.
Eileen helped him the same way.
You were grateful for her in a way you didn’t know how to say out loud. She kept Sam from falling too far into himself. She watched him when he thought no one was looking. She touched his shoulder, his arm, the back of his neck, small practical touches that reminded him he was still breathing, still needed.
Seeing them together hurt sometimes. You hated that too. Because you loved them. You were glad Sam had her. But every time she leaned into Sam, every time his hand found hers without thought, every time they moved around each other with that quiet familiarity, the empty space beside you felt even worse.
You missed Dean’s hand on your back. You missed his knee knocking yours under the table. Missed the way he stood too close in the kitchen because he liked being annoying and touching you all the damn time.
You missed your husband so much it made you feel physically sick.
Castiel stopped by often. Sometimes with information, usually with worry he didn't even try to hide. He had no answers from Heaven, only theories that made your head hurt and your stomach turn. Heaven was still baffled by what happened to Dean. Cas believed it had been some uncanny combination of too many impossible things stacked on top of each other: Dean’s soul having been torn apart in Hell before, his part in breaking the first seal, Ramiel killing him with Michael’s Lance, and Dean dying directly in Hell.
Maybe that was true.
Maybe it wasn’t.
At some point, you stopped wondering. How it happened no longer mattered as much as getting him back. Finding him. And curing him.
That was the only thing that mattered now.
Charlie checked in constantly. She sent leads, camera stills, hacked motel databases, police reports, anything that might help. Benny called more than he ever did, his voice rough and strained over the phone, asking how you were holding up in a way that made you want to lie and cry at the same time.
Everyone was trying. Because everyone loved you. And you knew everyone meant well.
But every question about whether you were okay, every careful encouragement, every promise that you would find him, drained something out of you. Because you had to respond. You had to nod, had to say you knew, or thank you, or we’re close, or we’ll get him. You had to be a person, when most days you barely felt like one.
And you weren’t sure how much more you could take…
Your phone stayed dark on the bed beside you. You stared at it for another moment, then forced yourself to move.
Your morning routine was simple now. Cry if tears came. Wash your face. Brush your teeth. Change clothes. Pretend the shaking in your hands was from exhaustion, not from the nightmares. Leave the bedroom before the walls started feeling too close.
By the time you made it to the bathroom that morning, the tears had come again.
The quiet, annoying ones.
You washed them away with cold water, then stood there with both hands braced on the sink, staring down at the drain until your breathing steadied enough to pass for normal. When you looked up, the woman in the mirror looked pale and tired and older than she had three weeks ago.
You looked away quickly, then changed into clean clothes, pulled your hair back without caring how it looked, and headed toward the library.
You yawned twice on the way there, rubbing at your eyes with the heel of your hand. The bunker was quiet in the early morning, the whole place too big without Dean in it.
Sam was already in the library. He sat behind his laptop with a huge jug of coffee within reach, shoulders hunched, hair messy from running his hands through it too many times. There were open files spread across the table, a map pushed to one side, and a list of towns written in his handwriting on a legal pad. His eyes moved across the screen quickly, scanning whatever database he had pulled up before most people were awake.
He looked up the second you came in.
It only took one look. His face softened, and that almost made you cry again.
‘Another nightmare?’
You stopped beside the table.
For a second, the motel room came back. Dean’s green eyes. His voice saying your name. His gaze dropping to the scar. The knife hitting before you had time to move.
Your hand twitched toward your chest, but you stopped it halfway and let it fall.
Then you nodded.
Sam’s jaw tightened.
You pulled out the chair across from him and sat down.
‘And another call,’ you said, voice still rough from sleep and panic.
Sam went completely still. The laptop screen reflected pale light across his face.
‘When?’
You picked up the nearest file because your hands needed something to do.
‘Three seventeen.’
Sam’s forehead creased immediately. He looked down at his screen, pulled his laptop closer, and started typing. You leaned into the chair, eyes burning, chest still tight from the nightmare, and tried not to think about how badly you wanted the next call to come.
Even if it ruined you all over again.
‘Anything new?’ you asked, breaking the silence.
You flipped the file open before Sam could shake his head. It was one of the uglier ones from the last week. A bouncer at a strip club, beaten nearly to death in front of half the room after trying to throw out a man who matched Dean’s description. According to the witness statements, the guy had put a hand on one of the dancers, the bouncer stepped in, and Dean beat him down right there beside the stage. Then he apparently downed his drink and walked off.
You stared at the words for a second longer than you needed to.
The strip club part made your stomach twist, even though you were mad at yourself for caring about that right now. People were hurt, that was what mattered. That was what you were supposed to focus on.
But the sting was there anyway.
Because it was Dean.
Dean, who had always enjoyed certain things with his whole body. Music in the car, horror and western marathons, pie, good burgers, whiskey, beer… sex. He loved sex and was not subtle about it. With you, he had been hungry and shameless and playful and intense in ways that made you feel wanted to your core.
Now there was a version of him out there with no guilt, no restraint, no vows that meant what they should have meant, and you had no idea what he had done with that hunger once you were no longer there.
You tried to tell yourself it wasn’t really Dean. That whatever he did, whatever he wanted, whatever he took, he would never have done it if he hadn’t been turned into this.
It didn’t help as much as it should have.
You closed the file a little harder than necessary and pushed it away.
Sam glanced up, but didn’t say anything. You were grateful for that. You didn’t have the energy to explain the ugly, jealous part of your brain that kept making everything worse.
‘Have you eaten, yet? I can make something,’ you said after a moment, rubbing both hands down your face. ‘Toast or eggs or… I don’t know. Something.’
Sam’s eyes softened just a little. ‘You don’t have to.’
‘I know.’
You stood anyway. Cooking would give your hands and mind something normal to do. Maybe you could even force yourself to eat half a toast.
Your phone buzzed on the table.
You froze. Sam did too. For half a second, neither of you moved.
Then you grabbed it.
It was Charlie.
Your thumb almost slipped opening the message.
Sending you an email. It’s definitely him and he’s close.
Your heart kicked so hard nausea rolled through you.
‘Sam.’
‘I know,’ he said, already opening a new window. His voice changed instantly. Tired disappeared under focus. ‘She sent it to me too.’
You moved around the table and stood behind his chair as the email loaded. There was a short message from Charlie at the top, then an attached video file and a location. Sam clicked the file without speaking.
The footage opened in grainy black and white.
Gas-n-Sip security camera. Aisle view. Magazine rack. Counter in the corner.
A tall man in a cap stood near the magazines with his back partly turned to the camera. Your whole body locked before his face was visible. You knew his shoulders. You knew the slight bow of his legs, the lazy set of his stance, the way he stood with his weight mostly on one side, relaxed.
Dean.
He was browsing the magazine section like he had nothing better to do. Then the front door opened. A masked man came in with a gun.
You could not hear anything on the footage, but the body language was clear. The cashier raised both hands immediately. The masked man shouted something, waving the gun toward the register. Dean barely reacted at first. He only lowered the magazine a little, head turning in mild annoyance, like the whole thing had interrupted him.
Your stomach tightened.
He put the magazine back, then he walked over. Completely calm, almost bored. The masked man turned the gun toward him. Dean hit him, just once. The man dropped hard enough that your hand flew to your mouth.
Dean crouched, grabbed the gun, tossed it aside, then pulled a knife from somewhere under his jacket. The rest happened fast and terribly clear, even through the poor-quality footage. Too many movements with too much force. The cashier stumbled back against the wall and stayed there, frozen, hands still raised while Dean finished what he started.
Sam’s jaw went tight.
You couldn’t look away.
Dean stood after a few seconds, wiped the blade on the dead man’s jacket, and went back to the magazine rack. Like nothing happened. Like he hadn’t just killed a man on the floor of a gas station.
He picked the magazine up again, glanced toward the counter, then finally looked up.
The camera finally caught his face and your breath stopped.
There he was. Your husband. Cap low, jaw rough with stubble, mouth curved in a lazy little smirk. And his eyes flashed black. Quickly, just a tiny burst of horror.
Then the video ended.
For a second, the library was completely quiet except for the low hum of Sam’s laptop.
‘Where is this?’ you asked. Your voice caught on the last word.
Sam was already checking the location Charlie included. His fingers moved fast over the keyboard.
‘About an hour’s drive.’
Your heart started beating faster.
‘When?’
Sam’s eyes flicked across the email. ‘Two hours ago. Police put out an APB immediately, so it hit the system fast.’
Two hours.
An hour away.
Dean hadn’t been this close since he walked out of the bunker.
You gripped the back of Sam’s chair hard enough for the wood to press into your palms. Your whole body felt suddenly awake in a way that was almost painful.
‘Are we going?’
Sam looked up at you.
There was fear in his face. Exhaustion too. And under both, the same hard determination that had kept him upright for three weeks.
‘Of course,’ he said. ‘Meet you in the garage in five.’
You were sitting in the Impala, and everything about it felt wrong.
It had felt wrong from the first second you climbed into it again. Sam and Eileen had been the ones to pick it up from the place where you left it before the reaper took you to Purgatory. You couldn’t do it then. You couldn’t sit in Dean’s car after watching him die, after seeing him come back with black eyes, after standing in the war room with his gun still warm in your hand while he walked out of the bunker and left you there.
So Sam brought it back.
And ever since then, every time you had to drive somewhere in it, your body noticed all the wrong things at once.
Sam was too tall behind the wheel. His hands sat differently on it. He adjusted the seat and mirrors to fit him, because this was an emergency and a car was a car, except it wasn’t. Not this car. Not to you. The Impala sounded the same, smelled the same, carried the same worn leather and old music and gun oil under everything else, but Dean wasn’t in it. He wasn’t humming along to his favorite albums, his hand wasn’t on your thigh, his fingers weren’t working the wheel with that casual confidence that always made it look easy.
You had no idea why Dean hadn’t come back for her. That bothered you more than you wanted to admit.
Maybe it meant nothing, maybe he knew you and Sam would watch for it. Maybe he was smart enough to leave behind the most obvious thing anyone could track.
But there was another thought underneath that, uglier and harder to ignore.
What if he just… didn’t care.
What if Baby meant as little to him now as the bunker did. As Sam did. As you did.
The ride was so quiet you were almost relieved when Sam finally parked in front of the Gas-n-Sip.
Patrol cars were still outside. Police tape stretched across the entrance, bright and ugly against the glass doors. A uniformed officer stood near the pumps, talking to another one with a clipboard, and you could see movement inside through the windows. Detectives, techs, people stepping around evidence markers on the floor.
Sam killed the engine, then he reached into his jacket and pulled out the fake badge.
You did the same.
The FBI pretext got you through the door quickly enough. Sam in a blue suit, you in a black pantsuit, both of you tired enough to pass for federal agents who had already seen too much before breakfast. You flashed your badge, said the names, kept your face steady, and stepped into the store.
Your eyes immediately went to the covered body on the floor and your stomach turned.
Not because you had never seen a dead body. You had seen things most people couldn’t even imagine since you came into this world. But this was different.
Because Dean had put that body there. Brutally.
And maybe the man under the sheet had walked in with a gun and threatened the cashier. Maybe he had been a dangerous scumbag. Maybe Dean had technically stopped something worse from happening. But that didn’t matter enough. The man had still been human. And that was the line your Dean had always tried hard not to cross.
Sam’s face tightened beside you, but he said nothing.
A detective met you near the magazine aisle. He looked tired, annoyed, and too wired on adrenaline, which made sense if he had spent the last few hours trying to make sense of a murder that looked insane on camera.
‘Agents,’ he said, giving your badges a quick glance. ‘You’re here about the video?’
‘That’s right,’ Sam said.
The detective led you toward the counter, where a laptop had already been set up with the footage paused. You had seen it in the bunker, but seeing it here, inside the store where it happened, made your skin feel too tight.
The detective hit play.
‘Okay, now, porn guy’s just minding his own business,’ he said, pointing at the screen.
Porn guy. For one stupid second, your brain stopped at that.
Why the hell would they-
Then you looked at the magazine section.
Right.
Of course.
Did you really think Dean Winchester would be reading People magazine in a gas station?
The detective kept talking. ‘And there’s the burglar right there. Now watch this. See how calm he is?’
Dean put the magazine down on the footage.
Your fingers curled at your sides.
‘And he just puts a grown man down with one small punch,’ the detective went on. ‘I don’t know what the hell this is. Problem is, we don’t know if this guy’s a hero or a psychopath.’
Neither, you thought.
He's a fucking demon.
You didn’t say it.
Sam leaned closer to the screen, jaw tight. ‘Can we speak to the witness?’
‘Cashier’s over there,’ the detective said, nodding toward the side of the store. ‘Poor kid’s been repeating himself for three hours.’
You looked over.
The cashier sat on a plastic chair near the far aisle, wrapped in a cheap emergency blanket even though the store wasn’t cold. He was young. His face was pale, eyes too wide, one leg bouncing fast enough to shake the edge of the blanket.
You felt bad for him.
Not only had he been held at gunpoint, he had watched a man stab another man to death a few feet away, and now he was still sitting in the same place under fluorescent lights, probably being asked the same questions over and over again by people who wanted details his brain had every right to forget.
And you were about to ask him the same things.
You and Sam crossed the store together.
‘Hi,’ you said, softening your voice as much as you could while still keeping the agent mask on. You showed the badge again. ‘Agents Currie and Jett. We just have a couple of questions, if you don’t mind.’
The cashier blinked at you.
‘I already told them everything.’
‘I know,’ you said. ‘We just need to hear it from you one more time.’
He looked exhausted enough to cry. Then he nodded.
You tucked the badge away. ‘You were the only witness here?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Can you describe the attack?’
The cashier let out a shaky laugh with no humor in it. ‘Well. Porn guy was an animal.’
Sam’s eyebrows lifted slightly.
The cashier pointed toward the magazine rack with one trembling hand. ‘Bro came in here like, 'get the fuck outta here,' and the other one was all like, 'fuck off, give me all your money'. And then porn guy just-’ He slapped one hand into the other. ‘Dropped him. Like, down. And then there was a lot of blood after that.’
You heard Sam take a careful breath beside you.
‘Right. Um… when the guy, uh-’ Sam’s mouth tightened. ‘When porn guy came in, did he say anything?’
The cashier shrugged. ‘W-where’s the porn.’
You closed your eyes for half a second.
‘That’s all he said?’ you asked, opening them again. ‘Did he buy anything? Did he use a credit card? Did he ask for directions, talk to anyone, mention where he was going?’
The cashier stared blankly.
You weren’t sure if he didn’t remember or if he had been too scared to notice anything beyond the knife and the blood. Either way, you couldn’t blame him.
Sam was less patient.
‘So some guy comes in, kills another guy in your store on your watch, and you just-’ He stopped himself, but not fast enough. ‘You what? Just keep on keepin’ on?’
The cashier looked at him like Sam had lost his mind.
‘You mean when porn guy was stabbing the other guy to death ten feet in front of me, and I was having a total code-brown moment in my favorite freakin’ pants because I thought I was next, did I conduct a field interview?’ He stared at Sam. ‘No.’
You and Sam exchanged a look.
Yeah.
Fair.
You were just about to ask if he had seen what car Dean came in, whether he left alone, anything small that might help, when the cashier shifted under the blanket.
‘But, uh… I did find a phone.’
Sam straightened. ‘A phone?’
‘Yeah. Wedged under the T.P.’ He nodded toward the techs near the counter. ‘I think it’s porn guy’s. I gave it to them.’
Your heartbeat jumped.
Sam looked at you once, then back at the cashier.
‘Thanks,’ he said.
You went to the techs next, asked to look at the phone, and pulled on rubber gloves before handling it because the whole room was watching and you needed to look like you belonged at the crime scene. The phone was cheap. Burner, of course.
You opened the call log.
One outgoing call. Your number.
Your breath caught so hard your chest hurt.
You knew it.
You frickin' knew it.
The missed calls, the silence, the timing. You had known it was him, but seeing your number there, on a phone he had left behind at a crime scene, still rattled you hard enough that for a second the store blurred around the edges.
Sam stepped closer.
You turned the screen toward him.
He looked at it. Said nothing. His face did enough.
You handed the phone back, thanked the tech, and got out of the store before the air inside could choke you.
Outside, the daylight felt too bright. You took one deep breath, then another, standing near the Impala while Sam looked back at the Gas-n-Sip with a hard, closed expression.
‘You think he left it for us?’ you said.
Sam’s jaw flexed. ‘Don't know.’
Neither of you had an answer you wanted, so you got back in the car.
Sam slid behind the wheel, and you sat in the passenger seat with your laptop already open across your knees before he even pulled out of the lot. The Impala rumbled under you and you forced yourself to focus on the screen instead of the space next to you where Dean should have been.
‘So, nearest motels?’ Sam asked.
‘Already looking.’
It was probably pointless. Dean had either moved on already or never stayed anywhere nearby in the first place. But maybe arrogance had really made him that sloppy.
You checked the closest places first.
Two motels.
No luck.
No Dean Winchester. No aliases you recognized. No one matching his description, according to the bored desk clerks Sam talked to while you stayed in the car and checked cameras, registration logs, anything you could reach from your laptop.
By the time you pulled out of the second parking lot, your eyes burned from the screen and your stomach felt hollow in a way that had nothing to do with hunger.
Sam glanced at the gas gauge.
‘I need to stop for gas.’
You nodded without looking up, already pulling up the next motel on the map.
‘Okay.’
Sam turned the Impala back toward the main road.
You didn’t really pay attention when he pulled into the gas station. Your eyes stayed fixed on the laptop screen, on the list of places within a twenty-mile radius, on names and distances and reviews that meant absolutely nothing when the man you were looking for could already be gone.
The Impala stopped. Sam got out. The driver’s door closed.
A few seconds later, you heard the dull metallic sound of the gas cap, the pump handle lifting, the low click of it starting.
You kept staring at the screen.
Your mind wouldn’t settle. It kept circling the same useless points again and again until you wanted to slam the laptop shut just to stop seeing motel names. He had been close. He had been an hour away. Just a few hours ago. He had probably left a phone behind with your number on it on purpose because he wanted you to know. Because all of it was a game to him.
And you had no idea how to catch him.
Your fingers hovered over the trackpad, then stopped. The next motel was eleven minutes away. Bad reviews, cash only, no cameras in the parking lot, according to two angry comments from people whose cars had been broken into.
Could be something.
Probably not.
You added it to the list anyway.
The pump clicked outside. A few minutes later, you heard movement. Footsteps on concrete. The familiar creak of the Impala’s driver’s door opening.
You didn’t look up.
Your eyes stayed on the screen while your brain kept working through the search, already lining up the next places to check. Sam slid into the seat beside you. The car shifted slightly with his weight. The door closed.
The engine started.
‘Hey, sweetheart.’
Your whole body went cold.
Not Sam.
Not even close.
Your head shot up so fast pain snapped through your neck.
Dean was sitting behind the wheel.
For one second, you couldn't move. He was right there, close enough that your knee almost touched his, one hand resting on the wheel, the other near the gearshift. The cap was gone. His hair was a little longer than the last time you saw him. A rough scruff darkened his jaw, sharpening his face, making him look dangerous and so goddamn attractive that you barely resisted biting your bottom lip.
You hated yourself for it immediately.
Your hand twitched toward the door handle. Dean’s gaze dropped to the movement.
‘Don’t.’
Just one word. It stopped you anyway.
Your heart slammed hard against your ribs. Sam was outside. Sam had to be right outside. All you had to do was scream, move, throw yourself out of the car, burn Dean, anything.
He looked at you with that easy, awful smirk.
Your body did none of it.
‘How ’bout we go for a ride?’
His eyes stayed on yours.
‘Just you and me.’
A/N: We’re finally getting Demon Dean’s POV in the next chapter, so please wish me luck getting his voice right.
Summary: You face the impossible when Dean wakes up changed, and every attempt to stop him only makes things worse...
CHAPTER 5 MASTERLIST
Story tags: Demon!Dean, Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Action, Violence, Angst, Drama, Blood Magic, Blood play, Smut, Rough sex, Emotional strain, Moral conflict, POV Dean Winchester, Canon Divergence, Married Dean Winchester, POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n, Ordinary sequel
A/N: I know you’re probably fed up with all the angst and drama by now, but the… things will be happening soon..
It took you too long to understand what you were looking at.
Your heart was beating so fast it hurt, slamming against your ribs hard enough that, for a second, you thought maybe your body had finally reached the limit of what it could take. Grief, loss, Hell, Purgatory, panic, exhaustion. Maybe this was what happened when a mind had to process too much and simply… gave up. Maybe this was the part where you finally lost your grip on reality completely, because Dean was gone.
You had learned that with his blood under your hands and his body heavy in Sam’s arms. When Castiel’s grace failed to pull him back, when his skin stayed cold under your fingers no matter how long you held on.
So his chest rising now couldn’t be real. His eyes opening couldn’t be real.
The black staring back at you could not be real.
It had to be your mind dragging Hell back into the room with you. Just a delayed nightmare. A hallucination built from every demon you had to burn.
The faint smell of burned skin reached you again. Your hand still felt too warm where you had touched him. You saw blistered marks on Dean’s skin.
You felt tears flood your eyes in a sudden, violent rush, and for one second you thought about getting up and finding water, or whiskey, or anything that might drag you back into sanity. Anything that might shut down the image in front of you before it finished destroying whatever was left of you.
Then Dean sat up.
He honestly, impossibly pushed himself upright on the mattress, shoulders rolling forward, body moving with his own strength again.
This time, you couldn’t hold the sound back.
‘Dean!’
It came out desperate, shocked, torn open. You moved before thought caught up, reaching for him because he was sitting up, because he was moving, because some broken part of you didn’t care what his eyes looked like as long as his body was warm and alive and there.
Your hands closed around his arm.
His skin hissed instantly.
Dean let out a loud, animal growl and jerked away from you so hard your hands slipped off him. His eyes were still black when his head snapped toward you. Still black when pain flashed across his face and twisted into fury.
You scrambled back fast enough that the chair tipped behind you and crashed against the floor. Your heel caught the edge of it and you stumbled hard into the dresser. Pain cracked through your spine, sharp enough to steal a breath, but you barely felt it.
Dean was staring at the burns on his arm.
The door burst open.
Sam rushed in first, Eileen right behind him. His eyes were still red from crying, face drawn and pale, but alarm cut through all of it the second he took in the room. The fallen chair. You against the dresser. Dean sitting up on the bed.
For one tiny, terrible second, relief hit Sam so hard his mouth went slack.
Then he saw Dean’s eyes.
And he stopped.
Completely.
You were still too stunned to move. One hand clutched the edge of the dresser because you were not sure your legs could hold you without it. Your lungs refused to work right, and your brain kept trying to force the image in front of you into anything that made sense.
Dean was moving.
His eyes were black when he looked down at himself.
His eyes were black when his fingers traced his throat, where Ramiel’s slash had been open only minutes ago.
His eyes were black when he checked the burns rising on his arm.
His eyes were black.
He flexed his hand once, slow, testing the feel of his own body. Then he looked at the angry, blistered marks your touch had left on his skin.
‘Huh, that’s new.’
His voice was deeper. Rougher. Still Dean’s voice, which made it worse. It came from his chest the same way, but there was no warmth in it. No softness.
He finally lifted his head. The black eyes landed on Sam first.
Then, slowly, turned to you.
You felt sick. Not only with fear. Fear would have been simple. This was confusion so deep it made your body feel out of sync with itself. Your husband had been dead. And now he was sitting up. And he had black eyes. Your husband’s skin had burned under your hand.
Dean’s mouth curved.
Your breath hitched, and before you fully registered the movement, you slid along the dresser and backed toward Sam.
Dean noticed you putting distance between you. His eyes followed you the whole way.
‘That right there?’ he said, dry amusement dragging through every word. ‘That’s new too.’
He held your gaze for one second longer, then squared his shoulders and rolled his neck, like he was working stiffness out of muscles that had no right working at all.
‘Damn Prince had one hell of a swing,’ he muttered.
The words landed wrong.
Because he remembered. He remembered Ramiel and the Lance. He remembered dying.
Your stomach dropped.
Then Dean stopped, like he had only just gotten around to noticing the three of you were there. His eyes moved from you to Sam, then to Eileen, then back to you again. His face did not soften. Did not do anything Dean’s face should have done if he woke up and saw the people he loved looking at him like this.
‘Wow,’ he said. ‘You all look like crap.’
He swung his legs off the bed.
Sam shifted beside you. He was the first one to find his voice, and even then, it barely held.
‘Dean?’
Dean looked at him.
‘Hey, Sammy.’
The nickname sounded wrong, without the usual feeling behind it. It was casual. Almost bored.
He stood up.
You felt Eileen move on your other side. Her hand went behind her belt, fast, and came back with a blade.
Dean saw it immediately. He took one deliberate step forward. Then another.
That was when something in you finally snapped into place.
Demon.
There was a demon inside your husband.
You didn’t know how. You didn’t know when. You didn’t know what had crawled into him between the Lance and Castiel’s failed healing. But it was there now, wearing Dean’s body, moving Dean’s hands, using Dean’s voice inside the bunker like it had any right to stand there.
You stepped in front of Sam and Eileen before either of them could move closer. Both hands came up, palms out, fingers shaking hard enough that you had to force them steady.
‘Get out of my husband, you sick son of a bitch.’
The thing wearing Dean stopped.
Then it smirked. Cold. Empty. Infuriating.
‘What’s goin’ on, sweetheart?’ he asked. ‘You don’t recognize me?’
You flinched at the word.
Sweetheart.
It came out of Dean’s mouth with your husband's voice, but there was no affection in it.
Then, with a blink, his eyes changed.
Green.
Dean’s green.
That almost hurt worse than the black.
‘You don’t recognize your own husband?’
The way he said husband made your blood turn hot. Taunting. Dragging the word through the room as if he knew exactly how much it meant to you and wanted to see what happened when he ruined it.
Anger rose fast through the shock.
Because how dare it.
How dare some filthy black-eyed thing take the man you loved. How dare it sit in Dean’s old room, in Dean’s body, with Dean’s mouth and Dean’s wedding ring still on his hand.
You wanted to step forward and burn it out of him. You wanted to grab his face with both hands and pour every bit of your bloodline magic into whatever was hiding inside until it screamed itself apart.
But it was Dean’s body. That was Dean’s skin.
He would need that body when Heaven found his soul and brought him back. You couldn’t destroy what was left of him because you were scared. You couldn’t let rage make that choice for you.
So you held your ground and forced your hands to stay raised.
‘I’m gonna give you one warning,’ you said, voice shaking despite everything you did to steady it. ‘Get. The fuck. Out.’
You expected mockery. A laugh. Something ugly and simple.
Dean only took another step closer.
‘And what’re you gonna do, huh?’ His eyes dropped to your hands, then back to your face. ‘You gonna fry me extra crispy?’
The words hit exactly where he aimed them.
Behind you, Sam moved to your side.
‘Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica-’
Dean laughed.
It was low and rough and amused, and the exorcism didn’t even make him blink. Not a twitch. Not a single flinch. Nothing.
Sam stopped.
Dean looked at him like that had been mildly entertaining.
‘You can Latin at me all damn night,’ he said. ‘Ain’t gonna do crap. 'Cause I'm not possessed.’
Your heart climbed into your throat.
Sam’s face had gone pale again.
‘Then what are you?’ he asked, voice low.
You already felt the panic rising before Dean answered.
Because it couldn’t be true.
It couldn’t.
Demons were souls twisted until there was no humanity left. You knew that much. Torture, pain, Hell stripping pieces away over centuries. Over millennia. That was what you had always understood. That was what made demons demons.
Dean had been dead for hours. Hours.
But Ramiel’s words crawled up from the back of your mind.
Ten years with the blade, after thirty on the rack… You learned faster than souls who had been down here since men still prayed to stones… What happens when Hell’s favorite little prodigy comes home and dies on the floor?
Your fingers curled slowly.
‘Sam,’ you gasped. ‘You think-’
‘Oh, it’s me, alright,’ Dean cut in.
Your mouth went dry.
Dean’s eyes were still green now, and somehow that made every word worse.
‘And I’m done with whatever the hell this is. So let me through.’
He took another step forward.
You took one back before you could stop yourself. Your legs shook a little. You steadied yourself fast, anger flashing hot through the fear because you hated that he saw it. You hated that he was watching you calculate and hesitate. But most of all, you hated that he knew exactly why you still hadn’t burned him.
Sam didn’t move.
‘Alright,’ he said carefully. His hands were raised, palms open, the way they were when he was trying to talk someone down. ‘Okay. Dean, listen to me.’
Dean stopped.
His face shifted into visible annoyance. That alone made your stomach twist, because it was so Dean. The narrowed eyes, the tightened jaw. The impatient little tilt of his head.
‘We can fix this,’ Sam said. ‘We know how to cure this. Remember?’
Dean stared at him.
Then rolled his eyes. ‘Good talk. Now move.’
The words were flat now. Still annoyed, but heavier. More dangerous.
‘I can’t, Dean,’ Sam said. ‘You know I can’t do that.’
Dean looked at him for a moment. Then shrugged.
‘Yeah, well.’
He moved too fast.
Sam reached for him at the same time, and Dean caught his wrist. For one split second, smoke curled between their skin. Sam’s protection worked. Weakly. Barely. Enough to make Dean’s jaw tighten.
He ignored it.
He twisted Sam’s arm hard and drove his other fist into Sam’s stomach. Sam cried out, pain cracking through the sound, and then Dean shoved him into the wall with a force that made the room shake.
‘Sam!’
Sam hit the floor hard.
He didn’t get back up.
Eileen lunged before Dean had even lowered his arm. The blade flashed in her hand, fast and practiced, but Dean turned into the movement and knocked her aside with brutal efficiency. He caught her forearm, shoved her off balance, and sent her into the desk hard enough to make the lamp crash to the floor. She went down with a pained sound, still conscious, already dragging herself toward Sam before she had even fully caught her breath.
You moved too.
You didn’t think. You just rushed to Sam and dropped beside him, one hand going to his face, the other to his chest. He was breathing. Out cold, but breathing. You checked because you had to. Because Dean had hurt him.
Your hands shook so badly you almost couldn’t feel the rise and fall of his chest.
Eileen was there too, teeth clenched, one arm wrapped around her ribs, fingers already searching Sam’s pulse with the same focused panic you felt tearing through you.
Dean stood over all three of you.
You looked up at him.
For a second, the room held completely still.
That was your husband.
That was Dean, standing in the bedroom where his own brother lay unconscious on the floor because he had put him there.
You should have attacked him. You knew that. You should have grabbed his ankle, burned him, brought him down, done anything. Your touch had hurt him. You knew it had. You could smell it still, faint and awful under the dust and dried blood on your clothes. You had the advantage, maybe the only one anyone in that room had.
But your body would not move.
Because it was Dean.
Because you had spent hours carrying his dead body out of Hell. Because you had just sat beside his bed and begged him to forgive you. Because he was alive again, his chest was moving, and every instinct you had was still screaming 'that's your husband'.
Dean looked from Sam to Eileen, then back to you.
‘What?’ he said. ‘He’ll wake up.’
A beat.
His mouth curved.
‘Maybe.’
The word cut through you. But it did something useful too. It made the shock flare into anger.
Your hand left Sam’s chest slowly. Dean’s eyes tracked the movement, interested now.
Eileen made another rough sound beside you, already reaching for the blade she had dropped. Dean saw it, and his eyes flicked black again for half a second.
‘Ah, ah, ah,’ he said.
Just that. Enough threat in it to make the whole room tighten.
You pushed yourself to your feet. Your legs shook. Your spine still hurt from the dresser, and your whole body wanted to go back to Sam. To check again. To make sure he was still breathing, still alive.
But Dean turned and walked out of the room.
He was leaving.
Shock and grief pulled back just enough for adrenaline to hit hard. You shot one quick look at Sam and Eileen. She was still beside him, one hand pressed to his chest, eyes sharp and terrified when they met yours. You didn’t wait for her to tell you not to go.
You ran after Dean.
By the time you caught up to him, he was already in the war room.
He wasn’t rushing. That was the part that made your skin crawl. He moved through the bunker slowly, almost lazily, like he had all the time in the world. His shoulders were loose, his steps even, his head turning slightly as he looked around the room, almost bored.
He walked straight toward the library table, where someone had dumped the gear after you carried his body in. His jacket, his weapons, the backpack. The things you had dragged back from Hell.
Your heart jumped.
No.
You couldn’t let him get to those. You couldn't let him leave.
You moved faster, cutting around the other side of the map table and rushing into his path before he reached the library. Your boots slipped slightly on the polished floor, but you caught yourself and planted your body between him and the table.
Dean slowed. Just a little. His mouth curved, amused.
Of course he was amused.
You were shaking. You knew you were. Your hands, your knees, your breath, all of it. From fear, from anger, from grief still buried too close to the surface. He could see every bit of it, and the look on his face told you he liked that.
‘You gonna block my way now?’ he asked. ‘Bold move.’
You didn’t answer right away.
You were thinking too fast.
Your hands could stop him. Maybe. Your touch burned him now. If you lunged at him, if you grabbed him by the face or throat, you could hurt him. Badly. You could force him back. You could maybe hold him long enough for Eileen to wake Sam, for Castiel to come back. You could also kill him. Burn him until he's just a smoking pile on the ground.
And the thought of touching him like that made something inside you recoil.
Your hands were not supposed to hurt Dean.
Your hands knew him in every possible way that mattered. They had held his face when he kissed you, gripped his shirt when he made you laugh into his chest, pressed into his back when he slept too restlessly, traced scars he didn’t like talking about. They had steadied him through nightmares. They had pulled him closer when he was buried inside you.
Now your touch was a weapon against him. A lethal one, if you pushed hard enough.
You couldn’t do it.
Not yet…
Maybe that made you weak. Stupid, even. Maybe every hunter in the world would have called it a fatal mistake. But every hunter in the world had not spent the last few hours with Dean’s dead body in front of them, had not closed his eyes with shaking fingers, had not begged an angel to put his soul back where it should be.
You needed his body intact.
You needed him here.
If he left the bunker, he was gone. Dean knew how to disappear. If he walked out now, if he got past you, you might not see him ever again.
No.
You had to slow him down. You had to trap him somehow.
Your eyes flicked toward the table behind you. The cuffs were still in his backpack. The demon cuffs with the trap etched into them. If you could get him distracted, get him close enough, get one wrist locked-
Dean’s eyes followed yours.
Damnit.
You moved before he could read the rest of it.
Your hand closed around the gun on the table. Dean’s gun. The weight of it hit your palm with a familiar solidity. You had held it before. Practiced with it. Cleaned it a few times while Dean sat beside you pretending not to watch your technique. You told him once it was the most beautiful gun you'd ever seen.
You lifted it and pointed it at his chest.
‘Stop.’
Your voice shook, but the word landed.
Dean’s gaze dropped to the gun.
You clicked the safety off.
His smile widened. Devastating. Wrong. Still on his face.
‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘That’s not gonna kill me.’
‘I know.’ Your voice surprised you with how fast it came. Thin, shaken, but immediate.
Dean’s eyes lifted back to yours. You forced yourself to keep the gun steady.
‘I don’t want to kill you. I want to help you.’
He blinked once, slow.
‘Do you now?’
‘Yeah.’ You swallowed. Your throat hurt. Everything hurt. ‘That’s why you’re not leaving this place.’
Dean stared at you for a second. Then he gave a short, humorless laugh.
‘Oh, but I am.’
‘Dean, please.’
His jaw tightened at the sound of his name. Maybe annoyance. Maybe something else. You couldn’t tell anymore, and that scared you more than you wanted it to.
‘We can still fix this,’ you said, and your voice cracked around the words because you needed them to be true. ‘Please. Just let me fix this.’
Dean’s face shifted into something almost cruel.
‘Please,’ he repeated, pitching the word higher, softer, mocking the break in your voice. ‘Just let me fix this.’
You flinched.
He saw that too. His expression darkened, disgust curling through the amusement.
‘You sound like my brother.’
The words hit hard because Sam was unconscious on the floor down the hall. Because Sam had carried Dean out of Hell. Because Sam had begged Castiel to bring him back. Because Sam would still try to save him after being thrown into a wall by him.
‘You’re sick,’ you said. ‘This isn’t you.’
Dean chuckled. Low. Horrible.
‘I’m more myself than I’ve been in years.’
That one struck deep.
You hated that it did.
Because it sounded too sure. Like a blade slipping between ribs. It made something cold open in your chest, because if that was true, if any part of him believed that, then what did that say about all that time before? About the quiet mornings, the bunker, the lodge, the wedding, the vows? Had humanity been the thing holding him close to you, or the thing keeping true parts of him buried?
No.
No, that was the demon talking.
It had to be.
Dean took another step toward you.
You raised the gun a fraction higher. ‘Don’t.’
He stopped only long enough to look down at your hands. Then at the space between you. Then at the gun.
‘Could’ve burned me,’ he said.
Your grip tightened.
He looked back at your face. ‘But you didn’t.’
You said nothing.
Your hands wanted to shake harder. You forced your finger to stay where it needed to be, forced your elbows not to drop, forced yourself to keep breathing even though Dean was close enough now that you could see the tiny scar on his chin, the dried line of blood you hadn’t fully cleaned from the corner of his jaw… the freckles you loved so much.
Dean’s eyes narrowed slightly, watching you work to hold yourself together.
‘That because you’re scared of hurtin’ me?’ he asked. ‘Or scared you’ll like it?’
Your teeth clenched so hard pain shot through your jaw.
He smiled.
He knew.
Of course he knew.
‘I saw you down there,’ he said, voice dropping lower. ‘Burnin’ those black-eyed sons of bitches to a crisp. You liked it.’
‘Shut up.’
‘Nah.’ He took another slow step, and you hated that your body reacted to the movement before your mind did. ‘You loved it.’
‘I said shut up.’
His gaze stayed locked on yours, no mercy in it. ‘All that power in your hands. All that fear. Bet that felt real good after bein’ scared outta your mind for days.’
Your pulse pounded in your ears.
Hell came back in flashes. Demons stepping away from you. The one in the corridor screaming under your hands. The smell. The silence afterward. The sick, awful satisfaction that had cut through the helplessness because for once, something was afraid of you.
Dean watched your face.
‘Bet you finally didn’t feel… what was it?’ His mouth curved. ‘Useless?’
‘Shut up!’
Your voice cracked through the war room. Loud enough to hurt.
Dean stepped closer.
You backed into the edge of the library table.
The gun stayed between you.
‘You wanna stop me?’ he said. ‘Stop me.’
‘You think I won’t?’
He took another step.
The barrel touched his chest.
You froze.
Dean looked down at it, then back at you, and there was something almost satisfied in his face now. Something dark. He wanted to see exactly how far he could push before you broke.
‘Do it,’ he said. ‘I wanna see you do it.’
Your head gave the smallest shake. You didn’t mean to. It just happened.
His eyes caught it.
‘C’mon, sweetheart.’ His voice went softer, rougher, and somehow meaner for it. ‘Don’t get shy on me now.’
Your grip tightened. Your fingers trembled anyway.
Dean’s gaze dropped to your hands.
‘What’s wrong, baby?’ he asked. ‘Need me to tell you when?’
You swallowed hard.
His eyes lifted back to your face.
‘You always were better when I talked you through things.’
The words hit before you could brace for them.
Your breath caught, shame and fury twisting together so fast you almost lowered the gun just to swing at him instead. He had no right. No right to drag that into this room, into this moment. He had no right to know exactly which words would land because he knew you. Because he was Dean. Because it was Dean’s memory behind those eyes, Dean’s mouth letting the cruelty out with perfect aim.
‘Don’t,’ you said again.
This time it barely came out.
Dean leaned in close enough that you could feel his breath against your face.
‘Don’t what?’
You could smell him.
Under the blood, under the stale air of the bunker, under that faint wrong heat coming off his skin, he still smelled like Dean. That was so much worse than if he had smelled like sulfur or rot or anything else that would have made this easier.
‘Don’t make this easy for you?’ he asked.
The barrel pressed harder into his chest as he moved another inch forward.
You couldn’t step back. The table was behind you.
Dean’s eyes stayed on yours.
Your finger tensed. He noticed. His smile sharpened.
‘Don’t make you prove my wife’s got more bite than bark?’
The word wife almost took you apart. He said it like something he could still use because, demon or not, it was still true.
‘You’re not him,’ you whispered. 'You're not my husband.'
Dean’s face changed. Just a fraction. The smile didn’t leave, but something ugly settled beneath it.
‘Yeah,’ he said quietly. ‘Keep tellin’ yourself that.’
Then his hand came up. For one second, you thought he was going to take the gun away.
He didn’t.
His fingers closed over yours. His palm pressed against the back of your hand, forcing your grip tighter around the handle, steadying the barrel against his own chest.
The contact burned instantly.
His skin hissed under yours. The smell of it cut through the room. Dean’s jaw flexed, but he didn’t pull away. His eyes went black all at once, and this close, with his hand burning over yours and his body pressed to the gun, they swallowed every trace of green.
You gasped.
‘Dean-’
‘What, need my help?’ His voice came out rougher now, edged with pain and something that sounded too much like pleasure. ‘Yeah? No? Maybe?’
His hand tightened over yours.
Your magic pushed under your skin on instinct, hot and defensive, reacting to the demon touching you, to the threat, to the wrongness of him. You tried to pull back, but he held you there. Held himself there. Let your touch burn him because it proved some point only he understood.
His face came closer.
‘Want me to pull the damn trigger for you?’
Your whole body shook.
He jerked your hand slightly, not enough to fire, just enough to make the gun shift against his chest. Just enough to make you feel how little control you really had while his burning hand covered yours.
Then he barked, sudden and loud enough to echo violently across the room.
‘Come on! Do it!’
The gun went off.
The sound tore through the library and punched straight through your chest.
For one second, there was nothing else.
No bunker. No air. No Dean. Just the blast, the recoil snapping through your arms, the sharp smell of gunpowder, your ears ringing so hard the world went thin around the edges.
Dean staggered back with a grunt.
The bullet hit him square in the chest. Blood spread across his shirt.
Your whole body stopped.
Demon. He was a demon. You knew that. You knew guns didn’t work on demons the way they worked on people. You knew the bullet wouldn’t kill him. You knew it before you pulled the trigger, knew it before he forced your hand against the gun, knew it while he stood there grinning and burning himself on your skin just to prove he could make you do it.
Your body did not care.
Your body saw Dean take a bullet to the chest from your hand.
For half a second, your brain forgot every bit of logic and saw only your husband. The man you loved more than anything you ever loved.
You had shot him.
The thought came in too clearly. Too sharply.
You had shot Dean.
Your fingers went numb around the grip. Your hands were still locked in place, both of them holding the gun, arms extended, barrel aimed at his chest. Smoke curled from the muzzle, faint and unreal in the low bunker light.
Dean looked down at the wound, at the red spreading through the fabric.
Then he lifted his head.
And smiled.
Slow.
Satisfied.
Almost proud.
That smile destroyed you. Because he didn’t look shocked. He didn’t look hurt. He didn’t even look angry.
He looked pleased.
You had finally given him exactly what he wanted.
‘That’s what I’m talkin’ about,’ he said, voice rough with amusement. ‘Knew you had it in you.’
You couldn’t breathe.
The wound started closing, right in front of you. The blood stopped spreading. The torn fabric still showed the hole, still dark and wet around the edges, but underneath it, the skin pulled itself back together, fast.
Dean rolled his shoulder once, testing it, then let out a small, pleased huff.
Your hands shook harder. The gun was suddenly too heavy.
You kept staring at the place where the bullet had gone in, even after there was nothing left to prove it had happened except the blood on his shirt and the ringing in your ears.
He made me.
The thought came fast. Desperate.
He made you. He pushed. He cornered you. He put his hand over yours. He burned himself on your skin and smiled through it. He yelled. He startled you. He forced the whole world down to one impossible second.
He made me.
Then another thought answered from somewhere much colder.
No. Your own finger moved on the trigger.
You nearly dropped the gun.
Your arm fell to your side, loose and useless. The barrel pointed toward the floor now, your finger safely off the trigger. Your grip stayed tight enough to hurt because letting go would mean the gun might clatter to the floor, and you couldn’t handle another loud sound.
Dean watched you for another second.
Then he reached past you.
You flinched hard.
His mouth twitched.
His arm brushed close to yours as he grabbed the backpack from the table behind you. The movement was casual, almost insulting in how little effort he put into it. He took his time as he slung it over one shoulder and took his jacket next.
He paused, only for a second, glanced down at you.
Then he turned away.
You couldn’t move.
Your body stayed rooted beside the table, heart beating too fast, ears still ringing from the shot. Dean walked through the war room without looking back, his boots steady against the floor, the bag over his shoulder, your whole life leaving the room one step at a time.
At the top of the stairs, he stopped.
You held your breath.
He looked back at you one last time.
There was blood all over his shirt. His hand was blistered where he had held yours. His eyes were green, and there was nothing gentle in them.
His gaze moved over you slowly.
The gun.
Your shaking hand.
Your face.
And then he left.
Your knees weakened, but you didn’t fall. You just stood there, holding Dean’s gun with numb fingers, staring at the empty doorway while the sound of him leaving stretched through the bunker.
Somewhere behind you, far down the hall, Eileen called your name.
You barely heard it.
A heavy sound rolled through the bunker. The front door closing. Final. Deafening.
After that, there was only silence.
You stood in the war room with Dean’s gun in your hand, the smell of gunpowder still in the air, and the man you loved gone.
Hey guys! Quick question: I already have the next chapter of What Comes Out written, it just still needs editing.
The thing is, I’ve already posted three chapters in the last week because I’m that excited about this story - and because I currently have too much time on my hands with my husband away for work.
I know this irregular posting schedule can be pretty annoying, so I thought I’d ask.
What do you think? Should I post the next chapter today, or should I give you a little breather and wait until next week?
Summary: You carry Dean’s body out of Hell and through Purgatory, holding onto the hope that Heaven will bring him back. But what comes out with him is something none of you are ready for.
CHAPTER 4 MASTERLIST
Story tags: Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Action, Violence, Angst, Drama, Blood Magic, Blood play, Smut, Rough sex, Emotional strain, Moral conflict, POV Dean Winchester, Canon Divergence, Married Dean Winchester, POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n, Ordinary sequel
A/N: I ignored all other responsibilities this weekend and finished another chapter. So here it is, because I really want us to finally get to the good stuff.
Also, disclaimer: I consulted my husband about Sam carrying Dean’s body like that. He’s a combat medic in airborne, and he said that with Sam’s size and strength, he should be able to manage it that way. So I’m choosing to trust him on this one.
I also tried to make her grief feel different from the grief Dean went through when she died. I’m not sure I pulled that off well enough, though, because Dean’s grief still feels more real to me. I don’t know. You tell me.
And I really try not to ask for this too often, but if you can, please share your thoughts with me. I’m still writing for myself, but I’m sharing it here for you too. And knowing people are reading it is always a really nice boost to my motivation.
You stayed folded over Dean’s body with your forehead pressed to his chest and your hands twisted in his soaked flannel.
You didn’t know how long.
Time had stopped making sense. There was only blood. Under your palms, under your nails, on your cheek where you had pressed your face into him. His shirt was wet against your skin. The warmth of it made your stomach twist because warmth meant life, and this… wasn’t life. This was what had spilled out of him before you could stop it.
You kept breathing into his chest.
Each breath came broken. Too hard going in, too painful coming out. Your throat hurt from the sound that had ripped through you when his eyes went empty. Your ribs hurt. Your arm hurt. But your body felt far away.
Dean was under you. Dean was still under you. You couldn’t move away from him.
If you moved, it would be real. If you sat back, if you looked at him properly, if you saw the wound again, you would have to understand it. And you couldn’t. Your mind kept repeating the truth and refusing to hear it.
A sound broke through the room.
Dean was dead.
Dean was dead.
Dean was dead.
The iron door opening. Footsteps. A voice, sharp and startled. You barely registered it. The demon from outside the door, maybe. The one who had sent you in. You heard the first word leave its mouth, then a scream came. Loud. Short.
Then silence.
Something heavy hit the stone beside you, close enough that the impact knocked into Dean’s body. He shifted half an inch in the pool of his own blood.
Your hands clamped down on his flannel.
‘Dean!’
Sam’s voice hit the room, frantic and raw.
‘Hey, no. No, no, no, hey.’
Only then did your brain understand the weight beside you was Sam dropping to his knees. He was right there now, breathing hard and sharp, so close you could feel the movement of him beside Dean.
‘DEAN!’
The sound of your husband’s name broke open with so much grief that it gutted you all over again.
You looked up at Sam through tears.
His face was white. His eyes were wide and glassy, locked on Dean’s throat, Dean’s face. There was black dust smeared across one side of his jacket. His hair was falling into his face, and he looked younger for one horrible second. Like a boy who never learned how to survive losing his big brother, no matter how many times he did.
‘Sam,’ you cried, the word tearing out of you. ‘He’s dead.’
Sam flinched.
‘He’s dead, he’s dead.’ The words spilled out fast, broken and useless. ‘I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t stop the bleeding, Sam. I tried, I did, I tried to use my magic and I couldn’t, I couldn’t-’
You threw yourself over Dean again.
Your body covered him, arms clutching him desperately, one hand gripping his shoulder, the other fisting in the soaked fabric at his chest. Another hopeless sob tore through you so hard it stole the next breath. You pressed your mouth against his shirt and tasted blood and salt and Hell.
‘I’m sorry,’ you choked against him. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should’ve been faster. I should’ve broken free sooner. I'm sorry-’
Sam made a strangled sound beside you.
For a moment, he only breathed. Quick and ragged. Fighting for control and losing enough of it that you could hear the break in every inhale.
Then his hand landed between your shoulder blades. It stayed there for one second, trembling.
‘We have to get him out of here.’
You shook your head against Dean’s chest.
No.
No, absolutely not.
You couldn’t move him. You couldn’t let the room take him out of your arms. You couldn’t stand up and make Dean into something that had to be carried.
Sam’s hand pressed firmer against your back.
‘We have to move him. Now.’
You hated him for being right.
You hated yourself more because you couldn’t do it.
Slowly, you forced yourself to lift your head again.
Sam was looking at you now. His eyes were wet, but his face had gone blank in a way that scared you. Locked down. Controlled, too hard. A wall built in seconds because if he let it crack, neither of you would leave Hell alive.
You wiped your face with the back of your wrist. It only smeared blood and tears across your skin.
For the first time, you looked past Dean. Past Sam.
There was black ash near the door. More of it near the table. Ramiel was gone. Dead. Burned down to nothing. The Lance lay on the floor beside Sam, the blade still bright even in the low firelight.
Sam had done it.
He had killed a Prince of Hell.
And Dean was still dead.
His face had gone too still. His mouth was slightly open, blood drying at the corner. One hand had fallen at his side, palm loose.
And his eyes were still open.
That stopped you more than the blood did.
They were still green. Still his. Still the first thing you would have looked for in any room, in any life, in any version of the world. But they weren’t looking at you anymore. Dean’s eyes always found you. Across the bunker, across diners, over Sam’s shoulder in the Impala mirror. In bed, in the dark, when he thought you were asleep and didn’t have to hide how soft he looked at you.
Now they were open, and there was nothing reaching back.
A sound caught in your throat.
You reached for his face with shaking fingers, then froze half an inch from his skin because touching him there didn't feel right. Not like this.
‘I’m sorry,’ you whispered.
You brushed your thumb once under his eye, wiping away a tear that wasn’t his. Then, as gently as you could, you closed his eyelids.
The second you did, something inside you went quiet. You wanted to crawl back over him and stay there.
You wanted to die right there with him.
Sam shifted beside you.
The movement dragged you back so sharply it almost hurt.
Right.
Move.
You had to move.
Dean needed to get out. He was not staying here. Hell did not get to keep him on its floor.
You sat back on your heels, one hand still pressed to Dean’s stomach because taking both hands off him felt impossible.
Sam reached for him. The motion was careful at first, almost gentle. One hand under Dean’s shoulder. One gripping his jacket. Sam swallowed hard, then moved with the horrible efficiency of someone who had done this before. He shifted Dean’s arm, pulled him partly upright, turning him toward his own body.
‘Help me with his arm,’ Sam said, breathless. ‘I need- just-’
Dean’s head rolled wrong.
Your chest locked.
‘Wait,’ you gasped.
Sam froze.
You stared at Dean’s head, at the awful looseness of it, at the way his body gave no resistance at all.
Dean didn’t move like that. Your Dean never moved like that.
Dean was all muscles and strength. Dean did not need help holding himself up. Dean held you. Dean braced his body around you in bed. Dean caught you when you tripped. Dean pulled you behind him when danger came. Dean’s arms locked around you with enough certainty to make the world safer.
He did not need someone to place his arm where it belonged.
He did not need someone to support his head.
He did not hang limp in his brother’s grip.
Your breathing changed so fast you couldn’t stop it.
No.
No, no, no.
Your heart slammed against your ribs. The room sharpened and blurred at the same time. The fire was too bright. The stone was too dark. Dean’s blood was everywhere. The copper smell of it filled your lungs and suddenly there was no air.
‘I can’t,’ you said.
Sam looked at you.
You shook your head fast, eyes locked on Dean’s body as Sam tried to shift him higher.
‘I can’t. Sam, I can’t. I can’t do this. I can’t, I can’t-’
‘Hey.’
You barely heard him. Your fingers curled into your own bloody palms.
‘I let him come here. I let him come with me. I should’ve fought harder. Should’ve made him stay, Sam, I-’
‘Hey!’ Sam’s voice snapped louder.
You flinched.
He was staring at you now, Dean half against him, one arm wrapped around his brother’s back, the other trying to keep Dean’s shoulder from slipping.
‘Look at me.’
You couldn’t. You kept staring at Dean’s hand. Loose. Hanging.
His wedding ring caught the light.
‘Look at me!’ Sam said again, and his voice broke around the command.
Your eyes shot to his.
Sam’s face twisted for one second. Pain, grief, fear, all of it breaking through the blankness. Then he forced it back down.
‘I need you to focus, alright?’ he said, breathing hard. ‘I can’t do this without you.’
Your mouth trembled.
‘I can’t. Sam, I can't.’
‘You have to.’
You shook your head, tears spilling again.
Sam’s eyes shone. His grip tightened around Dean.
‘Please,’ he said, and that one word almost destroyed you. ‘Help me get my brother out.’
Brother.
That reached you.
Dean was Sam’s brother.
Dean was your husband.
And he was still in Hell.
You sucked in one broken breath. Then another.
You only had to get Dean out.
Because he was coming back. He was. He had to.
Heaven had brought you back. It could bring him back, too. Naomi could twist rules when she wanted something badly enough, and you had what she wanted now. The Lance was right there on the floor, and if Heaven thought it could take its precious weapon while Dean stayed dead, Heaven was about to learn exactly how little you cared about being reasonable.
You nodded once.
‘Okay,’ you whispered.
Sam’s breath shook.
‘Okay,’ he echoed.
You wiped at your eyes with the heel of your hand and moved, nearly slipping in the blood before catching yourself. Sam told you what he needed, and you obeyed because thinking would drag you back into that panic hole. You helped lift Dean’s arm, helped place it over Sam’s shoulder. Your fingers closed around Dean’s wrist, and for one insane second, you waited for his pulse under your thumb.
Nothing.
Your stomach lurched.
You swallowed hard and kept moving.
Sam shifted Dean higher, jaw clenched, face going pale from pain and effort. His injured chest had to be screaming. His wrist was hurt. His whole body was beaten down. Still, he pulled Dean’s weight up and across his shoulders with a rough grunt.
Dean’s torso folded over him.
His arm hung down Sam’s back. His head dipped forward.
You made a small broken noise and reached up immediately, fixing the angle, supporting him until Sam adjusted his grip. Your hands lingered at Dean’s hair, his jaw, the side of his neck.
‘I’m sorry,’ you whispered before you could stop yourself.
Sam’s knees buckled once.
Your hands shot out, one to Dean’s shoulder, one to Sam’s arm.
‘Sam-’
‘I got him,’ Sam said through his teeth. He adjusted Dean’s weight, dragging in a sharp breath. His face was strained and wet, but his feet held. ‘I got him.’
You didn’t know if he said it to you or to himself.
Maybe to Dean.
For a few seconds, nobody moved. Then Sam looked toward the floor.
‘Lance.’ His voice had gone firm again.
You blinked at him.
Then turned, saw the weapon on the floor, and forced your legs to move toward it.
The second your hand closed around it, a strange cold weight moved through your arm. The weapon felt wrong. Too powerful for something you were holding with Dean’s blood still drying on your fingers.
‘Sam,’ you said, voice shaking. ‘How do we…? There’s still Hell out there.’
Sam glanced toward the black ash on the floor, then at the Lance in your hands.
‘That makes them burst into dust,’ he said. ‘And you have your hands. We can make it.’
Your fingers tightened around the weapon.
Hands. Lance.
Dean.
Get Dean out.
You nodded slowly. ‘Okay.’
Sam shifted once more under Dean’s weight and took a step toward the door. You tightened both hands around the Lance.
Then the two of you stepped out.
His brother was dead.
That thought hit Sam on repeat. It kept coming back no matter how many times his mind tried to shove it aside and focus on the next step, the next breath. Dean was dead. Again.
It wasn’t the first time Sam had to wrap his head around that fact.
He had watched Dean die a thousand ways in one insane Tuesday, courtesy of the Trickster. Well, Gabriel, really. He had watched his brother choke, fall, get shot, get crushed, bleed, burn, die over and over until Sam nearly lost his own mind. He had watched a hellhound tear Dean apart before it dragged him to Hell, and he had carried what was left of his brother out of that house with Dean’s blood on his hands, in his clothes. He could still feel the blood days later after the skin had been scrubbed raw.
He had watched Dean die on the floor of a church too, even if Dean’s heart was still beating then. Something had gone out of him that night. Sam had seen it. He had watched his brother hold her body and lose a part of himself in a way Sam still didn’t know how to talk about.
And he had seen Dean die in dreams. Too many times. Nobody had ever been around to shut Sam’s nightmares off the way she shut Dean’s down.
It never got easier.
That was the thing.
No matter how many times it happened, no matter how many impossible resurrections, no matter how many deals and loopholes and angel tricks and cosmic exceptions, it still tore through him the same way.
Because there was no world where Sam knew how to do this without his brother.
No world where he wanted to.
So he did the only thing he could.
He focused on getting him out. Because Dean was coming back. He had to. Sam grabbed onto that as hard as he could, because if he let himself believe anything else, he was done.
He adjusted his grip under Dean’s body and kept moving.
Dean’s weight was across his shoulders, heavy, solid, real in a way Sam hated with everything in him. His bad wrist screamed every time he had to tighten his hold. His chest burned under the bandage where the hellhound had clawed at him, and every step pulled at the wounds until his shirt stuck wet against his skin again.
He kept moving.
Dean’s arm hung down his back. His hand knocked lightly against Sam’s side with each step. Sam tried not to feel it. Tried not to think about how loose that hand was, how empty. He focused on the corridor instead. The route. The next turn. The need to keep his balance.
Don’t drop him.
That was the first rule.
Don’t drop him.
Beside him, his brother's wife walked close enough that her shoulder almost brushed his arm. She held the Lance in one hand, knuckles tight around the shaft, and kept her other hand curled around Dean’s limp arm.
Sam had never seen her like this.
He had seen her scared. He had seen panic in her before, real panic, back when they first found her after the campus attack. He had seen her shaken after her memories were lost, after she learned about monsters and magic. He had seen grief on her too, when she found out about her family. He had seen her cry.
He had never seen this.
Her face was covered in blood. Dean’s blood. It had dried in streaks where tears had cut through it. Her eyes were red and swollen, fixed ahead until they weren’t, until they snapped back to Dean. Every few steps, her fingers tightened around his wrist, and Sam knew she was checking for a pulse even though she knew. She knew. She had been the one with her hands on his throat. She had been the one who felt it stop.
That made Sam’s throat close so hard he almost missed a step.
Her sobs back in that room had split him open. The way she had said Dean was dead, the way she cried she couldn’t save him. Sam had wanted to tell her to stop, to take it back, to not make him hear it out loud.
Instead, he had told her they had to move. Because someone had to, right?
Because if Sam let himself think his brother was dead, really dead, he was going to stop walking. He was going to drop to the floor in the middle of Hell with Dean over his shoulders and never get back up.
So he focused.
Get Dean out. Get him topside. Get him to Cas. Keep her moving.
Don’t drop him.
Do not think about Ramiel’s voice.
What happens when Hell’s favorite little prodigy comes home and dies on the floor?
Sam’s jaw tightened.
No.
He wasn’t thinking about that. He wasn’t thinking about what Ramiel meant.
He took another step.
Then another.
The corridor ahead stayed empty for now, and that felt almost worse than fighting. At least fighting gave him somewhere to put the rage. This silence only left him with Dean’s weight and the sound of her breathing beside him, uneven and shallow and too close to breaking again.
They reached the end of the hallway and Sam’s knees dipped. Just for a second. His body gave under the combined weight of Dean, the wounds, the blood loss, the hours of fighting. He caught himself against the wall with one shoulder and hissed through his teeth.
She stopped instantly.
‘Sam.’
Her hand came up, not knowing where to go first. Dean’s arm, Sam’s elbow, Dean’s back. She steadied both of them with shaking hands.
‘I got him,’ Sam said. It came out rough.
She looked up at him, and for a second, Sam wished she hadn’t.
Her face was wrecked. There was no other word for it. Blood, tears, shock, grief, all of it sitting there. She looked at him like she needed him to say something that would make this nightmare go away.
He couldn’t.
So he nodded once. Thanks. Keep going. Please don’t fall apart because if you do, I’m going with you.
She swallowed and nodded back.
They kept moving.
The next turn opened into a wider corridor with archways along both sides and rooms stretching off into dark. Sam saw them immediately. Demons. Gathering in the openings, standing on the edges. Watching from the shadows. More than before. Enough that Sam’s grip tightened around Dean’s leg and jacket until his knuckles burned.
They didn’t attack. At first, they just laughed. Quiet ugly little sounds. Some pointed, watching like Dean’s body across Sam’s shoulders was another show Hell had put together for them. One woman clapped slowly, mocking. Another one leaned against the wall and bared her teeth.
Sam felt something in him go even colder.
A demon stepped closer from one of the archways, black eyes bright, mouth twisting.
‘Would you look at that,’ it said. ‘Poor Dean. Finally put down like the dog he was.’
Sam almost set Dean down.
The thought came fast and violent. Put him down carefully, take the Lance, and turn the whole corridor into ash. Every last one of them.
He didn't get the chance. She moved first.
She was across the corridor in two seconds, and the demon barely had time to react before she grabbed it by the face.
Her fingers dug into its throat, and the demon screamed as smoke burst under her palms. She shoved it back into the wall and held on. The smell of burning flesh filled the corridor. The demon clawed at her wrists, but that only made it scream harder. Its body jerked, black eyes wide now, fear finally there.
She didn’t let go until it dropped.
When it hit the floor, she stood over it for one second, chest rising hard, blood on her face, the Lance still gripped in her other hand.
The corridor went quiet.
Sam looked up at the line of demons ahead, and made his voice carry.
‘You saw what she can do.’
Sam shifted his grip on Dean, forcing his knees to stay locked.
‘I just killed a Prince of Hell,' he said, clear and steady. 'Anyone else wants to end up on that pile, you can come through us.’
Silence settled heavy over the corridor.
For one moment, Sam thought they might try anyway. And honestly? Part of him wanted them to.
Then the first demon stepped back. Another followed. Then another.
The ones in the archways lowered their eyes or turned their faces away. The path opened ahead of them.
They believed him.
She came back to Sam’s side without looking at him. Her hand found Dean’s arm again, fingers closing around his wrist.
Sam adjusted Dean’s weight one more time and forced his feet forward.
Don’t drop him. Get him out. Get him to Cas.
He walked. And the demons let them through.
You moved through Hell the same way you had come in.
One foot in front of the other. Back through the wider corridors where demons had watched you and then stepped aside, through the rooms that had smelled of smoke, rot, and old blood. Back past the bodies you had left behind on the way in, burned and stabbed and crumpled against stone walls. Toward the cellars. Toward the passage. Toward Purgatory.
You tried not to think too much about that part.
Hell had gone quiet because the demons were scared. But monsters in Purgatory would not care that Sam had killed a Prince. They would not care about the Lance in your hand, or the blood on your skin, or the body Sam was carrying.
But you moved. Because you had to.
And all that time, you kept your hand on Dean.
That became the only thing that mattered.
When Sam walked, Dean’s arm hung down his back, and you kept your fingers wrapped around his wrist. When the corridor narrowed, you moved closer and steadied him by the shoulder. When Sam had to adjust his grip, you reached up automatically, helping keep Dean’s head from falling wrong.
At some point, the crying had stopped for a little while. Not because you felt better, but because you became too numb to feel… anything. Because your body had run out of ways to keep up with all of it.
Sam had to stop often.
Of course, your husband was heavy. And your brother-in-law was hurt. Every step pulled at Sam’s injuries, at whatever pain he was forcing down because stopping for too long meant staying in Hell. And every time he stopped, every time he had to lower Dean down, something inside you went cold.
Because those were the moments you saw Dean properly.
Still. Silent. His throat cut.
The first time Sam lowered him, you almost yelped. You swallowed it so hard your chest hurt. Sam leaned against the wall, breathing through his teeth, one arm folded tight across his bandaged chest. He reached for the water with shaking hands, and you dropped beside Dean immediately.
You set the Lance carefully against the stone, and dug bandages out of the bag with fingers that barely felt attached to you.
You opened the disinfectant, wet one strip of gauze, and started with his face.
There was so much blood there. At his jaw, smeared into the corner of his mouth, at the edge of his ear. Some of it was from your hands when you touched him. Some had dried there on its own. You wiped it away carefully, little by little, because you couldn't leave him like that. It would not fix anything, you knew that. But you simply could not leave him like that.
‘I know, I know. It’s okay, baby,’ you whispered, wiping at the corner of his mouth. ‘I'm just cleaning you up a little. Just hold on. Sam just needs a minute. Then we’ll keep moving.’
Sam’s breathing hitched somewhere above you.
You kept your eyes on Dean.
‘You’ll be home soon,’ you told him. ‘We’re almost there. Just a little longer, okay?’
You moved lower, to the wound, and your hand froze.
For one second, you couldn’t do it.
The cut looked worse now. The edges of it had darkened, thin black lines spreading into the skin around the slash, almost like a spreading infection. The tissue around it looked damaged in a way normal injury did not explain.
Of course. The Lance.
Your stomach turned hard. You swallowed down another sob.
Then you forced yourself to breathe and pressed the wet cloth near the edge, cleaning what you could without pulling too much at his skin. Your fingers shook, but you tried to be gentle. It mattered to some part of you that no longer cared whether it made sense.
‘I’m sorry,’ you whispered. ‘I’m sorry. I know this is cold. I’m sorry.’
Sam said your name once. Quietly.
You didn’t answer.
You kept wiping until the gauze was too red to help, then folded it into your fist and sat back when Sam pushed off the wall.
‘We gotta move,’ he said.
His voice sounded rougher every time.
You nodded and helped him lift Dean again.
The next stretch blurred.
Corridors. Stairs. Stone. Dead demons. Sam’s boots dragging once before he caught himself. Your hand on Dean’s arm. The Lance heavy in your other hand. The sound of your own breathing, too loud in your ears. Every few minutes Sam had to stop, and every stop did something ugly to you.
By the time you reached the torture chamber with the dead hellhounds, Sam was shaking. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. You saw it in his knees, in the way his jaw clenched. His breath came too shallow.
The tables were still there, bloodied, some overturned, tools scattered across the floor.
Sam lowered Dean onto one of the heavy tables with a grunt and then leaned both hands on the edge for a second, head dropped, chest heaving.
And it broke you.
Dean’s body touched the table, and all you could see was the room for what it was. The chains, the racks, the tools. Hell’s idea of fun. And now your husband was lying on one of those tables, limp and bloodied, his head turned slightly to the side.
A loud sob left you before you could stop it. You stepped in close, both hands going to his face.
‘No,’ you whispered, shaking your head. ‘No, no, no.’
You leaned down and kissed Dean’s forehead.
His skin felt too cool under your lips. The wrongness of that made you sob again, full and sudden, tearing right through the numbness.
‘I’m sorry,’ you whispered against his skin. ‘I’m so sorry.’
Your hands moved over his face, smoothing his hair back, thumb brushing the line of his cheekbone. He looked wrong here. He looked wrong everywhere now. There was no place in existence where Dean should have been this still.
‘This is my fault.’ Your voice broke. ‘You shouldn’t be here at all. I should never have let you come. I'm sorry-’
‘Stop saying that.’
Sam’s voice cut through the room.
You lifted your head, blinking through tears. ‘What?’
He was still bent forward, still breathing hard, face pale and tight. His eyes were wet, but there was anger there too.
‘That you’re sorry.’ His voice cracked on the last word. He swallowed hard and looked away for half a second. ‘Stop. Please.’
That hurt worse than if he had yelled. You understood he wasn't angry at you. But at the words. At the thing you were doing to yourself in front of him.
Your mouth trembled.
You wanted to tell him you couldn’t stop. That sorry was the only thing your body seemed able to make now because there were too many things you should have done differently and no way to fix any of them now.
But Sam was standing there with Dean’s blood on him too. Sam had carried his brother through Hell with a broken look in his eyes and a body held together by pain. Sam needed you to stop falling apart because he was already using everything he had just to stay upright.
So you nodded. Once.
Then you wiped your face with your hand and forced the sob back down until it hurt.
‘Okay,’ you whispered.
You looked back at Dean, touching his hair once more before stepping away enough for Sam to be able to lift him again.
‘We’re almost there,’ you said, quieter now. You weren’t sure if you were telling Dean, Sam, or yourself. 'The cellars are close.'
Sam nodded, jaw tight.
‘Cas will bring you back, Dean,’ you said.
You held onto that.
You had to.
Sam moved to Dean’s side, and you helped him get Dean up from the table. Dean’s body sagged into Sam’s hold in that same horrible way. You flinched when his head tipped and caught it quickly. Your hands stayed steady this time because Sam needed them to. Because Dean needed out. Because the cellars were close, and Purgatory was next, and Cas was waiting somewhere beyond that.
And Cas would bring him back.
He had to.
You reached the passage faster than you expected.
Or maybe you didn’t. Maybe it had taken an hour. Maybe three. Maybe time had stretched and folded in on itself somewhere between Ramiel’s room and the cellars. You didn’t know anymore. By the time you walked past the cells again, your mind had gone strangely quiet. Just… distant. Shut down in a way that made everything feel delayed.
You kept repeating the same thing to yourself until it hollowed everything else out.
Sam needed you steady. Dean needed you steady. Step. Breathe. Hold the Lance. Keep your hand on Dean. Watch the corridor.
You pushed every sob, every scream, every thought that did not help deeper and deeper until all that was left was movement.
The souls were screaming again.
You only realized it when Sam said your name and told you not to stop. You had slowed down in the middle of the cell corridor, staring at a hand reaching through iron bars without fully seeing it. Sam’s voice cut through the noise, rough and strained under Dean’s weight.
‘Keep moving.’
So you did.
You stepped out of the passage into Purgatory, and the first thing you saw was light.
It wasn’t bright. It was still Purgatory, still dim and gray, the air still heavy with rot, wet leaves, and old violence. But after Hell, after the cellars, after firelight and stone and blood-dark halls, the pale light hit your eyes hard enough to make you blink.
For one second, you almost couldn’t see.
Then your vision adjusted.
Different carnage waited in front of you.
Bodies covered the ground near the rocks. Monsters this time. Cut open, hacked apart, throats torn out. Crimson and black soaked into the gray leaves. Something twitched near the stream and then went still. In the middle of it all stood Benny, one hand closed around the neck of something that had stopped moving. He let the body drop under his hand and spat something dark onto the ground.
Then he turned.
For half a second, he grinned, vampire teeth bared, relief already breaking across his face.
Then Sam stepped out behind you with Dean over his shoulders.
Benny stopped dead.
The grin disappeared.
Everything on his face changed at once. His brows drew together, eyes dropping to Dean’s body, then to Sam’s face, then to you. His mouth pressed into a hard line. His chin trembled once before he caught it, and his shoulders sagged like something heavy had landed on him too.
‘No,’ he breathed.
The word punched through the blank place inside you so hard your chest almost caved in.
Sam’s knees gave before you could answer.
He dropped hard with a rough sound, one hand shooting out to catch himself while still trying to keep Dean from hitting the ground. You moved at the same time Benny did. Benny crossed the distance in two long strides, and together you helped Sam lower Dean off his shoulders and onto the ugly gray leaves.
Dean landed on his back.
You hated that immediately.
You hated the ground under him. The leaves sticking to his jacket. The blood on his shirt. The angle of his head. The way his body accepted being moved without giving anything back.
Benny crouched beside him.
For the first time, he saw Dean’s throat properly.
His face went still. Then he reached up and took off his cap. Slow, almost absent. He held it in both hands, staring down at Dean with his jaw tight and his eyes too wet.
‘Dean,’ he said, voice rough and wrecked. ‘No.’
You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t look at Dean for too long either, because if you did, you would drop right back to the ground and stay there.
So you turned to Sam.
‘Are you okay?’
It was a stupid question. He was on one knee, breathing hard, face gray with pain and exhaustion. Blood had completely soaked through the bandage across his chest, and his injured wrist shook where he braced it against his thigh.
Still, he nodded.
‘Yeah.’ His voice barely worked. ‘I’m good.’
You almost snapped at him for lying.
Then Benny’s hand landed on your shoulder. Gentle. Careful.
‘I’m so sorry, love,’ he said.
You knew he meant it. You knew he was grieving too. Dean had mattered to him. Dean had brought him into your lives, made him family in the strange, messy way Winchesters made family. Benny had the right to mourn him.
But Dean wasn’t really dead.
No.
You couldn’t let that sentence settle.
Dean was coming back. Heaven was going to bring him back. You had the Lance. Now Heaven would do what you told them to do, because there was no other acceptable outcome.
You sniffed once and kept your eyes on Sam.
‘Can you walk?’
Sam looked at Dean, then forced himself to look at you.
‘Yeah.’
He started to shift, already reaching for Dean again, already trying to make his body obey. You moved to help him, but Benny’s hand came up.
‘Let me take him, brother,’ Benny said quietly. ‘You’ll kill yourself carryin’ him like that.’
Sam froze.
You saw it happen. The refusal flashed through him, fast and painful. He didn’t want to let go. Of course he didn’t. Dean was his brother. Sam had carried him out of Hell, carried him through those corridors, held himself upright on pain and rage and the need to get Dean out.
Letting someone else take him felt like another loss.
But Sam looked at Benny. Then at Dean. Then at the path ahead.
He knew.
His throat moved as he swallowed.
‘Okay,’ he said.
The word sounded like it hurt.
Benny moved carefully, with none of his usual swagger. Sam helped him shift Dean’s body, and you couldn’t stop touching him. Your fingers lingered at his wrist again, even though you knew there was nothing there. Benny saw it and paused, giving you one second without saying anything.
You took it.
You brushed Dean’s hair back from his forehead, then stepped away before your knees could fail.
Benny lifted him with a steadiness Sam couldn’t have managed anymore. Vampire strength made the difference immediately. Dean’s weight settled over him, and Benny adjusted with a grimace that had nothing to do with effort. He looked down once, jaw tight, then started moving.
No jokes. No smirks. No easy comments in that warm Louisiana drawl.
Just silence.
You were suddenly so grateful for his strength that the feeling almost made you sick.
The four of you moved through Purgatory with Benny carrying Dean at the center, Sam on one side, you on the other. You still held the Lance. You hadn’t realized how tightly until your fingers started to ache around the shaft.
Sam pulled out his blade as soon as you started walking again.
Even drenched in sweat, bleeding, exhausted past what any human body should have handled, he locked back in. His shoulders squared. His eyes scanned the trees. His knife stayed ready.
Through the numbness, you looked at the Lance in your hand.
Then back at Sam.
He was a better hunter than you. Even hurt. Even half-dead on his feet. Especially now, when your mind kept sliding away from everything except Dean and Cas and the fact that Heaven was going to fix this.
You held the Lance out.
Sam looked at it, and for a moment, you thought he would argue.
He didn’t.
He took it with his good hand, and you took the knife from him instead. The exchange happened without a word.
A growl came from the trees five minutes later. Or maybe twenty. You couldn’t tell.
Sam stopped first. Benny shifted Dean’s weight and turned his body enough to shield him. You lifted the knife, but your grip felt wrong. Too loose. Too delayed. A creature came from the left, low and fast, with too many teeth and black blood already dripping from its mouth. Another came from behind it.
It wasn’t clean this time.
None of you moved the way you had on the way in. Sam was too hurt, and Benny had Dean’s body over his shoulders, and you kept losing half-seconds staring at Dean’s arm hanging down Benny’s back. Sam drove the Lance through the first creature, and the thing convulsed with a horrible sound before dropping. Benny kicked another back hard enough to send it into a tree, then twisted away to keep Dean from being struck. You caught the third too late, only when it was already close enough to swing.
The knife went into its neck.
Your hand burned from the impact. The creature screamed in your face. You shoved harder, teeth clenched, and Sam finished it from the side with the Lance.
Then it was over.
Messy. Fast. Awful.
You stood there breathing too hard, knife still raised, and realized you had barely felt fear.
That scared you more than the monster had.
‘Let's go,’ Sam said.
So you moved.
Nobody spoke after that.
You stumbled through the gray woods, past blood-dark leaves and twisted roots, past distant sounds you hoped stayed distant. Benny stayed steady. Dean’s body looked almost weightless on him, and you hated the relief that gave you. Sam walked with the Lance raised, slower now, limping more with every stretch of ground. You stayed close enough to Dean that your hand could find him whenever the path allowed it.
Then the blue light appeared between the trees.
For the first time since Ramiel’s blade cut Dean’s throat, your heart kicked with something other than panic.
The portal.
The way out.
Earth. Cas. Heaven. Resurrection.
Your fingers tightened around the knife.
‘There,’ you said, voice hoarse.
Sam looked at the light, and something in his face broke for half a second before he forced it back together.
Benny stopped near the rocks, Dean still over his shoulders.
‘Alright,’ he said, voice low. ‘How we doin’ this?’
You already knew. You had gotten him out before. You would get him out again.
‘I’ll do it,’ you said.
Benny's face tightened. Then he nodded.
Sam moved in to take Dean from him, and for one awful moment the whole world narrowed down to that transfer. Benny lowering Dean carefully. Sam bracing himself. Dean’s body shifting between them.
Sam made a sound through his teeth. But he held.
Benny watched Dean for one second longer, jaw tight, cap pushed low on his head.
Then he stepped toward you.
You pressed your bleeding forearm out, and Benny took it carefully. His fingers were cool around your skin.
‘See y’all on the other side,’ he said, voice rough.
Then his soul rushed into your arm.
The sensation hit fast, familiar and wrong, a pressure under your skin that made your breath catch. You staggered once, but stayed upright. Benny was in there now, tucked into your arm, another life held inside your body while Dean’s body hung limp over Sam’s shoulders.
You could not think about that too long.
Sam looked at you. ‘You good?’
No.
‘Yeah.’
You barely heard him over the pulse in your ears, over the distant sounds of Purgatory, over the one thought beating behind your ribs.
Please let Dean’s body pass through.
Please let him come with me.
Please.
The blue light flared.
Sam started climbing toward it with Dean’s body held tight.
You followed, clutching the Lance again, the rocks uneven under your boots.
Every step hurt. Every breath hurt.
You kept your eyes on Dean.
And you prayed the portal would let you bring him home.
Your boots hit solid ground again, and leaves crushed under them.
For one disorienting second, your body didn’t know what to do with the change. The air was cold and wet, sharp in your lungs after all the heat and rot. The trees around you were real, alive. There was color again, even in the dark. Brown soil, green pine, pale moonlight through branches. Earth. Actual Earth.
You were back.
You had made it.
The thought hit you with a strange, empty force, because it should have meant something. It should have brought relief, or exhaustion, or gratitude so strong your knees gave out. Instead, you spun around too fast, heart slamming once in terror, because none of it mattered unless Sam came through with Dean.
The portal flared behind you.
Sam stumbled out with Dean in his arms.
He made it only a few steps before his knees buckled under the weight. Eileen rushed forward with a sharp, terrified sound, catching Sam around the waist before he went down completely. Castiel moved in fast from the other side to help lower Dean carefully onto the leaves. Sam fought them for half a second, still trying to hold his brother even when his body had nothing left to give, and that small, stubborn resistance nearly tore another sob out of you.
Then Dean was on the ground.
You dropped beside him immediately.
Your hands went to him before your mind told them to. His hair, his shoulders, his arms, his chest. You touched him everywhere you could reach, frantic and useless, as if the portal might have changed something. As if getting him back to Earth might have put breath back into him during those few terrible seconds of light.
It hadn’t.
He was cold.
Benny’s soul pulsed in your forearm, warm and strange under your skin, but even that felt distant. Important, yes. Something you had to deal with. Just not before Dean. Nothing came before Dean.
Castiel was already on his knees beside him.
‘What's wrong?’ he asked, voice sharp with alarm as his eyes moved over Dean’s body. ‘What happened?’
You tried to answer. You really did. You opened your mouth, pulled in air that tasted like wet leaves and night, and the words simply would not come. Seeing Castiel broke through the numbness that helped carry you out. Castiel meant help. Castiel meant grace. Castiel meant the impossible part of your plan finally happening. This was why you had kept moving. This was why you had forced yourself through Hell and Purgatory.
Get Dean out.
Get Dean to Cas.
Get Dean back.
‘He-’ you started, and the word collapsed under a painful sob.
Sam answered for you from above, still leaning hard into Eileen while she held him upright with both arms around him.
‘Ramiel,’ he said, voice raw and almost gone. ‘It was a trap. Dean fought him, Cas. He fought like hell, but Ramiel was too strong.’ His throat worked hard around the next words. ‘He cut him with the Lance.’
The moment Sam said Lance, Castiel froze.
His eyes dropped to Dean’s throat, and the look that crossed his face was wrong. Too much fear, too much recognition, too much grief before he had even tried. Your stomach turned because you knew Castiel well enough by now to understand when he already knew something terrible.
No.
No, he didn’t get to know anything yet.
‘Cas,’ you breathed.
He didn’t look away from the wound.
‘Cas, bring him back.’
Your voice came out thin and shaky, barely holding together.
Castiel moved his hands over Dean, first above his chest, then over his throat. His fingers were trembling. White light gathered under his palms, familiar and bright, and your whole body leaned toward it with such violent hope that it hurt.
There.
Yes.
This was it.
This was where Dean’s chest would rise. This was where the wound would close. This was where he would gasp, where you would sob into his chest and yell at him for scaring you and never let him take one single step away from you again.
‘Please,’ you said, crawling closer on your knees. ‘Please, Cas. Bring him back now.’
Castiel lowered the light closer.
Nothing happened.
Dean’s throat stayed open. The blackened, ruined tissue around the cut did not change. His chest did not move.
Castiel’s brow creased, and the light under his hands grew stronger. His jaw tightened with effort. The air around his palms hummed, bright enough to cast Dean’s face in white for one awful second, and you held your breath because it had to work. It had to. There was no version of the world where it did not work.
Dean stayed still.
‘Cas,’ Sam said, and his voice broke on the name.
Castiel tried again.
You watched his face because you couldn’t keep looking at Dean’s body. Castiel’s eyes flicked rapidly over Dean. His hands shook harder. The white light sparked once, flared, then began to dim.
No.
Your fingers dug into Dean’s sleeve.
No, no, no.
Castiel pulled his hands back.
You stared at him.
He looked at you then, and the grief in his eyes made the world tilt under your knees.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said.
You shook your head before he finished.
‘I can’t.’
For a second, the woods went completely silent inside your head.
Then Sam’s voice cracked through it.
‘What?’
Castiel looked up at him.
‘What do you mean you can’t?’ Sam barked, lurching forward so fast Eileen had to tighten her hold on him. ‘Cas, what the hell does that mean?’
Castiel looked wrecked. His eyes went back to Dean, then to you, then to Sam, and when he spoke again, his voice had lost its steadiness.
‘I can’t reach his soul.’
The words echoed in your mind, useless.
You understood every single one. You knew what a soul was. You knew what reaching meant. You knew what Castiel was saying. Still, some part of you rejected the sentence completely, because it did not make any sense.
‘I don’t know where it is,’ Castiel said. ‘I can’t find him. I can’t resurrect him if I can’t reach him.’
You shook your head again.
‘No.’
Castiel said your name softly. That made it worse.
‘No, Castiel.’ Your voice rose, shaking apart around the edges. ‘No, you have to.’
His face twisted.
‘You have to,’ you repeated, louder now. ‘Do you hear me? He did his part. He went to Hell. He helped get the Lance. He paid for it in blood.’
Your hand pressed against Dean’s chest, fingers spreading over the stiff, blood-soaked fabric.
‘You have to bring him back!’
‘I’m trying,’ Castiel said, and now his voice was breaking too. ‘I tried. I can’t-’
‘I don’t care!’ you screamed.
The sound tore through the woods, ugly and raw.
‘I don’t care that you don’t know where his soul is. I don’t fucking care what that means. Make Heaven look for it. Make Naomi look for it. Tear the whole place apart if you have to.’
You grabbed the Lance from the ground beside you before you even realized you had moved. Your fingers closed around the shaft, tightening until your knuckles hurt.
Castiel flinched.
‘Because I swear to God, Cas, if Heaven thinks it can take this from us and leave him like this, I will shove this thing up every angelic ass I find until there isn’t a single one of you left.’
Eileen went very still.
Castiel looked at the Lance, then back at your face.
‘I don’t-’
‘Cas,’ Sam cut in.
His voice was quieter than yours, rougher, and somehow it hurt more.
He had pulled himself more upright, one hand pressed to his bandaged chest, the other gripping Eileen’s arm like he was only standing because she was there. His eyes were red and wet and fixed on Castiel with a desperation you had never wanted to see on Sam’s face.
‘Please,’ Sam said. ‘You have to get him back.’
Castiel looked at him, and whatever was left of his composure broke.
‘I will try,’ he said, voice low and strained. ‘Sam, I swear to you, I will try. I will go to Heaven. I will speak to Naomi. I will make them search if I have to.’
‘Do that,’ you said.
Castiel looked back at you.
Your hand tightened on the Lance.
For a moment, no one spoke.
Then Sam’s voice came again, harder now.
‘The Lance stays with us until Dean is back.’
Castiel nodded immediately. ‘Yes.’
No argument. No explanation about Heaven’s claim to it. Just yes. Maybe he understood that if he tried to take it, you would use it.
You dropped the Lance beside you and bent over Dean again, both hands going back to him. You couldn’t stop touching him, couldn’t stop checking him even after Castiel had just told you he couldn’t fix it.
A sob broke out of you again, violent and rough. You folded down over Dean, holding his face in both hands.
‘Please,’ you cried against his forehead. ‘Please, Dean, please. Don’t do this.’
No one tried to pull you away.
You didn’t know how long passed before Sam said Benny’s name, and that was the thing that finally cut through.
Benny.
His soul was still inside your arm.
Right.
You had to let him out.
You looked toward the place nearby where Cas left Benny’s body, prepared for this exact reason, another horrible practical detail waiting at the edge of everything else.
You pulled the knife from your belt with numb fingers and cut into your forearm. The pain barely registered. Blood welled up fast, and you whispered the words you needed, voice shaking so badly some of them came out broken.
The warmth in your arm shifted.
Then tore free.
Benny’s soul left you in a rush that made your whole body sway. The air changed near his remains. A hard, wet inhale cut through the night.
You didn’t turn to watch.
A moment later, Benny’s voice came from behind you, rough and shocked and alive.
Good.
That was one thing done. One thing you had not failed.
Castiel healed you after that.
You barely registered the touch of his fingers. Light moved through your skin, closing wounds, easing pain your body had stopped noticing a long time ago. Then he went to Sam. Eileen held Sam still while Castiel healed what he could, her face pale and terrified all at once. Castiel’s eyes kept flicking toward Dean’s body every few seconds, and guilt carved itself deeper into him each time.
You stayed beside Dean with one hand on his arm.
People spoke above you.
Castiel said he would take you home first. He would get you to the bunker, then go straight to Heaven. He promised he would come back as soon as he could.
You didn’t answer.
You remembered the trip back only in pieces.
Dean being lifted, and your hands reaching for him because he was out of your arms too long.
The bunker lights, too bright after the woods.
The stairs.
The hall to Dean’s old room.
Old room.
Not yours.
You had chosen that on purpose. You couldn’t take him to your room. Your room was your bed, his clothes on the chair, his scent on the pillow, the stupid arguments about blankets and movies and his socks. Your room was where he was supposed to come back to you.
When he woke up, he would be glad you hadn’t put this memory there.
So they laid him in his old room. The same bed where Dean had laid you when you died. The thought passed through you without landing all the way.
You washed your face at some point.
Maybe Eileen helped you. Maybe you did it alone. You remembered the water turning red in the sink. You remembered staring at your own reflection and barely recognizing the woman looking back. Blood at your hairline. Red eyes. Pale mouth. Hands shaking against the porcelain.
Then more tears came, and you stopped trying to clean anything.
Dean was on the bed when you came back.
His old bed.
His body looked too large for it, and too still.
Sam sat with you for a while, Eileen pressed close to his side, one hand locked around his. He didn’t say much. Neither did you. He just sat there and stared at Dean until his breathing started going wrong, until he stood too fast and turned away with a hand over his mouth.
‘I can’t,’ he whispered.
You barely heard him.
Eileen went with him, one arm wrapped tight around his waist, holding him together as they left.
Then the room was quiet.
You stayed.
Of course you stayed.
Your grip on Dean’s hand had loosened at some point. You were no longer holding him hard enough to hurt your own fingers. Your thumb moved over his knuckles instead, slow and gentle, back and forth over skin that should have warmed under your touch.
You looked at his face.
His handsome, perfect face. The face you knew better than any other face in existence. The freckles. The line of his mouth. The lashes against his skin. The tiny scar near his eyebrow. The lips you had kissed that morning, back when he was alive and annoyed and scared and trying not to show it.
You had no loud sobs left in you. The tears just kept falling, silent.
‘I’m sorry,’ you whispered one more time.
Your thumb brushed over his knuckles.
Then the skin under your hand changed.
Warmth.
You froze.
For one second, you were sure you had imagined it. Your hand stayed wrapped around his, every part of you straining toward that impossible shift.
Then his hand warmed more.
Real.
Too fast.
Too hot.
You gasped and nearly fell forward.
‘Dean?’
A faint smell reached you.
Burning skin.
Your eyes dropped to where your fingers touched his. The skin on his hand blistered under yours.
You jerked back so hard your shoulder hit the nightstand.
For one stunned second, you could only stare at the angry marks rising on Dean’s skin where your hand had been.
Your touch had burned him.
Your breath stopped.
Dean’s body moved.
His chest rose with a sharp, sudden inhale.
Your whole body went cold.
‘Dean?’
Your husband's eyes opened.
And they were black.
A/N: There you go. All that logic- and lore- twisting just to feed my Demon Dean kink fantasy.
But honestly? Exploring Demon Dean as a married man is going to be fun. And also tricky, because I’ve got 15 seasons’ worth of Dean’s character to draw from to get him right, but only three episodes of his demon version. Then again… who doesn’t love a challenge?
Summary: You carry Dean’s body out of Hell and through Purgatory, holding onto the hope that Heaven will bring him back. But what comes out with him is something none of you are ready for.
CHAPTER 4 MASTERLIST
Story tags: Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Action, Violence, Angst, Drama, Blood Magic, Blood play, Smut, Rough sex, Emotional strain, Moral conflict, POV Dean Winchester, Canon Divergence, Married Dean Winchester, POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n, Ordinary sequel
A/N: I ignored all other responsibilities this weekend and finished another chapter. So here it is, because I really want us to finally get to the good stuff.
Also, disclaimer: I consulted my husband about Sam carrying Dean’s body like that. He’s a combat medic in airborne, and he said that with Sam’s size and strength, he should be able to manage it that way. So I’m choosing to trust him on this one.
I also tried to make her grief feel different from the grief Dean went through when she died. I’m not sure I pulled that off well enough, though, because Dean’s grief still feels more real to me. I don’t know. You tell me.
And I really try not to ask for this too often, but if you can, please share your thoughts with me. I’m still writing for myself, but I’m sharing it here for you too. And knowing people are reading it is always a really nice boost to my motivation.
You stayed folded over Dean’s body with your forehead pressed to his chest and your hands twisted in his soaked flannel.
You didn’t know how long.
Time had stopped making sense. There was only blood. Under your palms, under your nails, on your cheek where you had pressed your face into him. His shirt was wet against your skin. The warmth of it made your stomach twist because warmth meant life, and this… wasn’t life. This was what had spilled out of him before you could stop it.
You kept breathing into his chest.
Each breath came broken. Too hard going in, too painful coming out. Your throat hurt from the sound that had ripped through you when his eyes went empty. Your ribs hurt. Your arm hurt. But your body felt far away.
Dean was under you. Dean was still under you. You couldn’t move away from him.
If you moved, it would be real. If you sat back, if you looked at him properly, if you saw the wound again, you would have to understand it. And you couldn’t. Your mind kept repeating the truth and refusing to hear it.
Dean was dead.
Dean was dead.
Dean was dead.
A sound broke through the room.
The iron door opening. Footsteps. A voice, sharp and startled. You barely registered it. The demon from outside the door, maybe. The one who had sent you in. You heard the first word leave its mouth, then a scream came. Loud. Short.
Then silence.
Something heavy hit the stone beside you, close enough that the impact knocked into Dean’s body. He shifted half an inch in the pool of his own blood.
Your hands clamped down on his flannel.
‘Dean!’
Sam’s voice hit the room, frantic and raw.
‘Hey, no. No, no, no, hey.’
Only then did your brain understand the weight beside you was Sam dropping to his knees. He was right there now, breathing hard and sharp, so close you could feel the movement of him beside Dean.
‘DEAN!’
The sound of your husband’s name broke open with so much grief that it gutted you all over again.
You looked up at Sam through tears.
His face was white. His eyes were wide and glassy, locked on Dean’s throat, Dean’s face. There was black dust smeared across one side of his jacket. His hair was falling into his face, and he looked younger for one horrible second. Like a boy who never learned how to survive losing his big brother, no matter how many times he did.
‘Sam,’ you cried, the word tearing out of you. ‘He’s dead.’
Sam flinched.
‘He’s dead, he’s dead.’ The words spilled out fast, broken and useless. ‘I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t stop the bleeding, Sam. I tried, I did, I tried to use my magic and I couldn’t, I couldn’t-’
You threw yourself over Dean again.
Your body covered him, arms clutching him desperately, one hand gripping his shoulder, the other fisting in the soaked fabric at his chest. Another hopeless sob tore through you so hard it stole the next breath. You pressed your mouth against his shirt and tasted blood and salt and Hell.
‘I’m sorry,’ you choked against him. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should’ve been faster. I should’ve broken free sooner. I'm sorry-’
Sam made a strangled sound beside you.
For a moment, he only breathed. Quick and ragged. Fighting for control and losing enough of it that you could hear the break in every inhale.
Then his hand landed between your shoulder blades. It stayed there for one second, trembling.
‘We have to get him out of here.’
You shook your head against Dean’s chest.
No.
No, absolutely not.
You couldn’t move him. You couldn’t let the room take him out of your arms. You couldn’t stand up and make Dean into something that had to be carried.
Sam’s hand pressed firmer against your back.
‘We have to move him. Now.’
You hated him for being right.
You hated yourself more because you couldn’t do it.
Slowly, you forced yourself to lift your head again.
Sam was looking at you now. His eyes were wet, but his face had gone blank in a way that scared you. Locked down. Controlled, too hard. A wall built in seconds because if he let it crack, neither of you would leave Hell alive.
You wiped your face with the back of your wrist. It only smeared blood and tears across your skin.
For the first time, you looked past Dean. Past Sam.
There was black ash near the door. More of it near the table. Ramiel was gone. Dead. Burned down to nothing. The Lance lay on the floor beside Sam, the blade still bright even in the low firelight.
Sam had done it.
He had killed a Prince of Hell.
And Dean was still dead.
His face had gone too still. His mouth was slightly open, blood drying at the corner. One hand had fallen at his side, palm loose.
And his eyes were still open.
That stopped you more than the blood did.
They were still green. Still his. Still the first thing you would have looked for in any room, in any life, in any version of the world. But they weren’t looking at you anymore. Dean’s eyes always found you. Across the bunker, across diners, over Sam’s shoulder in the Impala mirror. In bed, in the dark, when he thought you were asleep and didn’t have to hide how soft he looked at you.
Now they were open, and there was nothing reaching back.
A sound caught in your throat.
You reached for his face with shaking fingers, then froze half an inch from his skin because touching him there didn't feel right. Not like this.
‘I’m sorry,’ you whispered.
You brushed your thumb once under his eye, wiping away a tear that wasn’t his. Then, as gently as you could, you closed his eyelids.
The second you did, something inside you went quiet. You wanted to crawl back over him and stay there.
You wanted to die right there with him.
Sam shifted beside you.
The movement dragged you back so sharply it almost hurt.
Right.
Move.
You had to move.
Dean needed to get out. He was not staying here. Hell did not get to keep him on its floor.
You sat back on your heels, one hand still pressed to Dean’s stomach because taking both hands off him felt impossible.
Sam reached for him. The motion was careful at first, almost gentle. One hand under Dean’s shoulder. One gripping his jacket. Sam swallowed hard, then moved with the horrible efficiency of someone who had done this before. He shifted Dean’s arm, pulled him partly upright, turning him toward his own body.
‘Help me with his arm,’ Sam said, breathless. ‘I need- just-’
Dean’s head rolled wrong.
Your chest locked.
‘Wait,’ you gasped.
Sam froze.
You stared at Dean’s head, at the awful looseness of it, at the way his body gave no resistance at all.
Dean didn’t move like that. Your Dean never moved like that.
Dean was all muscles and strength. Dean did not need help holding himself up. Dean held you. Dean braced his body around you in bed. Dean caught you when you tripped. Dean pulled you behind him when danger came. Dean’s arms locked around you with enough certainty to make the world safer.
He did not need someone to place his arm where it belonged.
He did not need someone to support his head.
He did not hang limp in his brother’s grip.
Your breathing changed so fast you couldn’t stop it.
No.
No, no, no.
Your heart slammed against your ribs. The room sharpened and blurred at the same time. The fire was too bright. The stone was too dark. Dean’s blood was everywhere. The copper smell of it filled your lungs and suddenly there was no air.
‘I can’t,’ you said.
Sam looked at you.
You shook your head fast, eyes locked on Dean’s body as Sam tried to shift him higher.
‘I can’t. Sam, I can’t. I can’t do this. I can’t, I can’t-’
‘Hey.’
You barely heard him. Your fingers curled into your own bloody palms.
‘I let him come here. I let him come with me. I should’ve fought harder. Should’ve made him stay, Sam, I-’
‘Hey!’ Sam’s voice snapped louder.
You flinched.
He was staring at you now, Dean half against him, one arm wrapped around his brother’s back, the other trying to keep Dean’s shoulder from slipping.
‘Look at me.’
You couldn’t. You kept staring at Dean’s hand. Loose. Hanging.
His wedding ring caught the light.
‘Look at me!’ Sam said again, and his voice broke around the command.
Your eyes shot to his.
Sam’s face twisted for one second. Pain, grief, fear, all of it breaking through the blankness. Then he forced it back down.
‘I need you to focus, alright?’ he said, breathing hard. ‘I can’t do this without you.’
Your mouth trembled.
‘I can’t. Sam, I can't.’
‘You have to.’
You shook your head, tears spilling again.
Sam’s eyes shone. His grip tightened around Dean.
‘Please,’ he said, and that one word almost destroyed you. ‘Help me get my brother out.’
Brother.
That reached you.
Dean was Sam’s brother.
Dean was your husband.
And he was still in Hell.
You sucked in one broken breath. Then another.
You only had to get Dean out.
Because he was coming back. He was. He had to.
Heaven had brought you back. It could bring him back, too. Naomi could twist rules when she wanted something badly enough, and you had what she wanted now. The Lance was right there on the floor, and if Heaven thought it could take its precious weapon while Dean stayed dead, Heaven was about to learn exactly how little you cared about being reasonable.
You nodded once.
‘Okay,’ you whispered.
Sam’s breath shook.
‘Okay,’ he echoed.
You wiped at your eyes with the heel of your hand and moved, nearly slipping in the blood before catching yourself. Sam told you what he needed, and you obeyed because thinking would drag you back into that panic hole. You helped lift Dean’s arm, helped place it over Sam’s shoulder. Your fingers closed around Dean’s wrist, and for one insane second, you waited for his pulse under your thumb.
Nothing.
Your stomach lurched.
You swallowed hard and kept moving.
Sam shifted Dean higher, jaw clenched, face going pale from pain and effort. His injured chest had to be screaming. His wrist was hurt. His whole body was beaten down. Still, he pulled Dean’s weight up and across his shoulders with a rough grunt.
Dean’s torso folded over him.
His arm hung down Sam’s back. His head dipped forward.
You made a small broken noise and reached up immediately, fixing the angle, supporting him until Sam adjusted his grip. Your hands lingered at Dean’s hair, his jaw, the side of his neck.
‘I’m sorry,’ you whispered before you could stop yourself.
Sam’s knees buckled once.
Your hands shot out, one to Dean’s shoulder, one to Sam’s arm.
‘Sam-’
‘I got him,’ Sam said through his teeth. He adjusted Dean’s weight, dragging in a sharp breath. His face was strained and wet, but his feet held. ‘I got him.’
You didn’t know if he said it to you or to himself.
Maybe to Dean.
For a few seconds, nobody moved. Then Sam looked toward the floor.
‘Lance.’ His voice had gone firm again.
You blinked at him.
Then turned, saw the weapon on the floor, and forced your legs to move toward it.
The second your hand closed around it, a strange cold weight moved through your arm. The weapon felt wrong. Too powerful for something you were holding with Dean’s blood still drying on your fingers.
‘Sam,’ you said, voice shaking. ‘How do we…? There’s still Hell out there.’
Sam glanced toward the black ash on the floor, then at the Lance in your hands.
‘That makes them burst into dust,’ he said. ‘And you have your hands. We can make it.’
Your fingers tightened around the weapon.
Hands. Lance.
Dean.
Get Dean out.
You nodded slowly. ‘Okay.’
Sam shifted once more under Dean’s weight and took a step toward the door. You tightened both hands around the Lance.
Then the two of you stepped out.
His brother was dead.
That thought hit Sam on repeat. It kept coming back no matter how many times his mind tried to shove it aside and focus on the next step, the next breath. Dean was dead. Again.
It wasn’t the first time Sam had to wrap his head around that fact.
He had watched Dean die a thousand ways in one insane Tuesday, courtesy of the Trickster. Well, Gabriel, really. He had watched his brother choke, fall, get shot, get crushed, bleed, burn, die over and over until Sam nearly lost his own mind. He had watched a hellhound tear Dean apart before it dragged him to Hell, and he had carried what was left of his brother out of that house with Dean’s blood on his hands, in his clothes. He could still feel the blood days later after the skin had been scrubbed raw.
He had watched Dean die on the floor of a church too, even if Dean’s heart was still beating then. Something had gone out of him that night. Sam had seen it. He had watched his brother hold her body and lose a part of himself in a way Sam still didn’t know how to talk about.
And he had seen Dean die in dreams. Too many times. Nobody had ever been around to shut Sam’s nightmares off the way she shut Dean’s down.
It never got easier.
That was the thing.
No matter how many times it happened, no matter how many impossible resurrections, no matter how many deals and loopholes and angel tricks and cosmic exceptions, it still tore through him the same way.
Because there was no world where Sam knew how to do this without his brother.
No world where he wanted to.
So he did the only thing he could.
He focused on getting him out. Because Dean was coming back. He had to. Sam grabbed onto that as hard as he could, because if he let himself believe anything else, he was done.
He adjusted his grip under Dean’s body and kept moving.
Dean’s weight was across his shoulders, heavy, solid, real in a way Sam hated with everything in him. His bad wrist screamed every time he had to tighten his hold. His chest burned under the bandage where the hellhound had clawed at him, and every step pulled at the wounds until his shirt stuck wet against his skin again.
He kept moving.
Dean’s arm hung down his back. His hand knocked lightly against Sam’s side with each step. Sam tried not to feel it. Tried not to think about how loose that hand was, how empty. He focused on the corridor instead. The route. The next turn. The need to keep his balance.
Don’t drop him.
That was the first rule.
Don’t drop him.
Beside him, his brother's wife walked close enough that her shoulder almost brushed his arm. She held the Lance in one hand, knuckles tight around the shaft, and kept her other hand curled around Dean’s limp arm.
Sam had never seen her like this.
He had seen her scared. He had seen panic in her before, real panic, back when they first found her after the campus attack. He had seen her shaken after her memories were lost, after she learned about monsters and magic. He had seen grief on her too, when she found out about her family. He had seen her cry.
He had never seen this.
Her face was covered in blood. Dean’s blood. It had dried in streaks where tears had cut through it. Her eyes were red and swollen, fixed ahead until they weren’t, until they snapped back to Dean. Every few steps, her fingers tightened around his wrist, and Sam knew she was checking for a pulse even though she knew. She knew. She had been the one with her hands on his throat. She had been the one who felt it stop.
That made Sam’s throat close so hard he almost missed a step.
Her sobs back in that room had split him open. The way she had said Dean was dead, the way she cried she couldn’t save him. Sam had wanted to tell her to stop, to take it back, to not make him hear it out loud.
Instead, he had told her they had to move. Because someone had to, right?
Because if Sam let himself think his brother was dead, really dead, he was going to stop walking. He was going to drop to the floor in the middle of Hell with Dean over his shoulders and never get back up.
So he focused.
Get Dean out. Get him topside. Get him to Cas. Keep her moving.
Don’t drop him.
Do not think about Ramiel’s voice.
What happens when Hell’s favorite little prodigy comes home and dies on the floor?
Sam’s jaw tightened.
No.
He wasn’t thinking about that. He wasn’t thinking about what Ramiel meant.
He took another step.
Then another.
The corridor ahead stayed empty for now, and that felt almost worse than fighting. At least fighting gave him somewhere to put the rage. This silence only left him with Dean’s weight and the sound of her breathing beside him, uneven and shallow and too close to breaking again.
They reached the end of the hallway and Sam’s knees dipped. Just for a second. His body gave under the combined weight of Dean, the wounds, the blood loss, the hours of fighting. He caught himself against the wall with one shoulder and hissed through his teeth.
She stopped instantly.
‘Sam.’
Her hand came up, not knowing where to go first. Dean’s arm, Sam’s elbow, Dean’s back. She steadied both of them with shaking hands.
‘I got him,’ Sam said. It came out rough.
She looked up at him, and for a second, Sam wished she hadn’t.
Her face was wrecked. There was no other word for it. Blood, tears, shock, grief, all of it sitting there. She looked at him like she needed him to say something that would make this nightmare go away.
He couldn’t.
So he nodded once. Thanks. Keep going. Please don’t fall apart because if you do, I’m going with you.
She swallowed and nodded back.
They kept moving.
The next turn opened into a wider corridor with archways along both sides and rooms stretching off into dark. Sam saw them immediately. Demons. Gathering in the openings, standing on the edges. Watching from the shadows. More than before. Enough that Sam’s grip tightened around Dean’s leg and jacket until his knuckles burned.
They didn’t attack. At first, they just laughed. Quiet ugly little sounds. Some pointed, watching like Dean’s body across Sam’s shoulders was another show Hell had put together for them. One woman clapped slowly, mocking. Another one leaned against the wall and bared her teeth.
Sam felt something in him go even colder.
A demon stepped closer from one of the archways, black eyes bright, mouth twisting.
‘Would you look at that,’ it said. ‘Poor Dean. Finally put down like the dog he was.’
Sam almost set Dean down.
The thought came fast and violent. Put him down carefully, take the Lance, and turn the whole corridor into ash. Every last one of them.
He didn't get the chance. She moved first.
She was across the corridor in two seconds, and the demon barely had time to react before she grabbed it by the face.
Her fingers dug into its throat, and the demon screamed as smoke burst under her palms. She shoved it back into the wall and held on. The smell of burning flesh filled the corridor. The demon clawed at her wrists, but that only made it scream harder. Its body jerked, black eyes wide now, fear finally there.
She didn’t let go until it dropped.
When it hit the floor, she stood over it for one second, chest rising hard, blood on her face, the Lance still gripped in her other hand.
The corridor went quiet.
Sam looked up at the line of demons ahead, and made his voice carry.
‘You saw what she can do.’
Sam shifted his grip on Dean, forcing his knees to stay locked.
‘I just killed a Prince of Hell,' he said, clear and steady. 'Anyone else wants to end up on that pile, you can come through us.’
Silence settled heavy over the corridor.
For one moment, Sam thought they might try anyway. And honestly? Part of him wanted them to.
Then the first demon stepped back. Another followed. Then another.
The ones in the archways lowered their eyes or turned their faces away. The path opened ahead of them.
They believed him.
She came back to Sam’s side without looking at him. Her hand found Dean’s arm again, fingers closing around his wrist.
Sam adjusted Dean’s weight one more time and forced his feet forward.
Don’t drop him. Get him out. Get him to Cas.
He walked. And the demons let them through.
You moved through Hell the same way you had come in.
One foot in front of the other. Back through the wider corridors where demons had watched you and then stepped aside, through the rooms that had smelled of smoke, rot, and old blood. Back past the bodies you had left behind on the way in, burned and stabbed and crumpled against stone walls. Toward the cellars. Toward the passage. Toward Purgatory.
You tried not to think too much about that part.
Hell had gone quiet because the demons were scared. But monsters in Purgatory would not care that Sam had killed a Prince. They would not care about the Lance in your hand, or the blood on your skin, or the body Sam was carrying.
But you moved. Because you had to.
And all that time, you kept your hand on Dean.
That became the only thing that mattered.
When Sam walked, Dean’s arm hung down his back, and you kept your fingers wrapped around his wrist. When the corridor narrowed, you moved closer and steadied him by the shoulder. When Sam had to adjust his grip, you reached up automatically, helping keep Dean’s head from falling wrong.
At some point, the crying had stopped for a little while. Not because you felt better, but because you became too numb to feel… anything. Because your body had run out of ways to keep up with all of it.
Sam had to stop often.
Of course, your husband was heavy. And your brother-in-law was hurt. Every step pulled at Sam’s injuries, at whatever pain he was forcing down because stopping for too long meant staying in Hell. And every time he stopped, every time he had to lower Dean down, something inside you went cold.
Because those were the moments you saw Dean properly.
Still. Silent. His throat cut.
The first time Sam lowered him, you almost yelped. You swallowed it so hard your chest hurt. Sam leaned against the wall, breathing through his teeth, one arm folded tight across his bandaged chest. He reached for the water with shaking hands, and you dropped beside Dean immediately.
You set the Lance carefully against the stone, and dug bandages out of the bag with fingers that barely felt attached to you.
You opened the disinfectant, wet one strip of gauze, and started with his face.
There was so much blood there. At his jaw, smeared into the corner of his mouth, at the edge of his ear. Some of it was from your hands when you touched him. Some had dried there on its own. You wiped it away carefully, little by little, because you couldn't leave him like that. It would not fix anything, you knew that. But you simply could not leave him like that.
‘I know, I know. It’s okay, baby,’ you whispered, wiping at the corner of his mouth. ‘I'm just cleaning you up a little. Just hold on. Sam just needs a minute. Then we’ll keep moving.’
Sam’s breathing hitched somewhere above you.
You kept your eyes on Dean.
‘You’ll be home soon,’ you told him. ‘We’re almost there. Just a little longer, okay?’
You moved lower, to the wound, and your hand froze.
For one second, you couldn’t do it.
The cut looked worse now. The edges of it had darkened, thin black lines spreading into the skin around the slash, almost like a spreading infection. The tissue around it looked damaged in a way normal injury did not explain.
Of course. The Lance.
Your stomach turned hard. You swallowed down another sob.
Then you forced yourself to breathe and pressed the wet cloth near the edge, cleaning what you could without pulling too much at his skin. Your fingers shook, but you tried to be gentle. It mattered to some part of you that no longer cared whether it made sense.
‘I’m sorry,’ you whispered. ‘I’m sorry. I know this is cold. I’m sorry.’
Sam said your name once. Quietly.
You didn’t answer.
You kept wiping until the gauze was too red to help, then folded it into your fist and sat back when Sam pushed off the wall.
‘We gotta move,’ he said.
His voice sounded rougher every time.
You nodded and helped him lift Dean again.
The next stretch blurred.
Corridors. Stairs. Stone. Dead demons. Sam’s boots dragging once before he caught himself. Your hand on Dean’s arm. The Lance heavy in your other hand. The sound of your own breathing, too loud in your ears. Every few minutes Sam had to stop, and every stop did something ugly to you.
By the time you reached the torture chamber with the dead hellhounds, Sam was shaking. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. You saw it in his knees, in the way his jaw clenched. His breath came too shallow.
The tables were still there, bloodied, some overturned, tools scattered across the floor.
Sam lowered Dean onto one of the heavy tables with a grunt and then leaned both hands on the edge for a second, head dropped, chest heaving.
And it broke you.
Dean’s body touched the table, and all you could see was the room for what it was. The chains, the racks, the tools. Hell’s idea of fun. And now your husband was lying on one of those tables, limp and bloodied, his head turned slightly to the side.
A loud sob left you before you could stop it. You stepped in close, both hands going to his face.
‘No,’ you whispered, shaking your head. ‘No, no, no.’
You leaned down and kissed Dean’s forehead.
His skin felt too cool under your lips. The wrongness of that made you sob again, full and sudden, tearing right through the numbness.
‘I’m sorry,’ you whispered against his skin. ‘I’m so sorry.’
Your hands moved over his face, smoothing his hair back, thumb brushing the line of his cheekbone. He looked wrong here. He looked wrong everywhere now. There was no place in existence where Dean should have been this still.
‘This is my fault.’ Your voice broke. ‘You shouldn’t be here at all. I should never have let you come. I'm sorry-’
‘Stop saying that.’
Sam’s voice cut through the room.
You lifted your head, blinking through tears. ‘What?’
He was still bent forward, still breathing hard, face pale and tight. His eyes were wet, but there was anger there too.
‘That you’re sorry.’ His voice cracked on the last word. He swallowed hard and looked away for half a second. ‘Stop. Please.’
That hurt worse than if he had yelled. You understood he wasn't angry at you. But at the words. At the thing you were doing to yourself in front of him.
Your mouth trembled.
You wanted to tell him you couldn’t stop. That sorry was the only thing your body seemed able to make now because there were too many things you should have done differently and no way to fix any of them.
But Sam was standing there with Dean’s blood on him too. Sam had carried his brother through Hell with a broken look in his eyes and a body held together by pain. Sam needed you to stop falling apart because he was already using everything he had just to stay upright.
So you nodded. Once.
Then you wiped your face with your hand and forced the sob back down until it hurt.
‘Okay,’ you whispered.
You looked back at Dean, touching his hair once more before stepping away enough for Sam to be able to lift him again.
‘We’re almost there,’ you said, quieter now. You weren’t sure if you were telling Dean, Sam, or yourself. 'The cellars are close.'
Sam nodded, jaw tight.
‘Cas will bring you back, Dean,’ you said.
You held onto that.
You had to.
Sam moved to Dean’s side, and you helped him get Dean up from the table. Dean’s body sagged into Sam’s hold in that same horrible way. You flinched when his head tipped and caught it quickly. Your hands stayed steady this time because Sam needed them to. Because Dean needed out. Because the cellars were close, and Purgatory was next, and Cas was waiting somewhere beyond that.
And Cas would bring him back.
He had to.
You reached the passage faster than you expected.
Or maybe you didn’t. Maybe it had taken an hour. Maybe three. Maybe time had stretched and folded in on itself somewhere between Ramiel’s room and the cellars. You didn’t know anymore. By the time you walked past the cells again, your mind had gone strangely quiet. Just… distant. Shut down in a way that made everything feel delayed.
You kept repeating the same thing to yourself until it hollowed everything else out.
Sam needed you steady. Dean needed you steady. Step. Breathe. Hold the Lance. Keep your hand on Dean. Watch the corridor.
You pushed every sob, every scream, every thought that did not help deeper and deeper until all that was left was movement.
The souls were screaming again.
You only realized it when Sam said your name and told you not to stop. You had slowed down in the middle of the cell corridor, staring at a hand reaching through iron bars without fully seeing it. Sam’s voice cut through the noise, rough and strained under Dean’s weight.
‘Keep moving.’
So you did.
You stepped out of the passage into Purgatory, and the first thing you saw was light.
It wasn’t bright. It was still Purgatory, still dim and gray, the air still heavy with rot, wet leaves, and old violence. But after Hell, after the cellars, after firelight and stone and blood-dark halls, the pale light hit your eyes hard enough to make you blink.
For one second, you almost couldn’t see.
Then your vision adjusted.
Different carnage waited in front of you.
Bodies covered the ground near the rocks. Monsters this time. Cut open, hacked apart, throats torn out. Crimson and black soaked into the gray leaves. Something twitched near the stream and then went still. In the middle of it all stood Benny, one hand closed around the neck of something that had stopped moving. He let the body drop under his hand and spat something dark onto the ground.
Then he turned.
For half a second, he grinned, vampire teeth bared, relief already breaking across his face.
Then Sam stepped out behind you with Dean over his shoulders.
Benny stopped dead.
The grin disappeared.
Everything on his face changed at once. His brows drew together, eyes dropping to Dean’s body, then to Sam’s face, then to you. His mouth pressed into a hard line. His chin trembled once before he caught it, and his shoulders sagged like something heavy had landed on him too.
‘No,’ he breathed.
The word punched through the blank place inside you so hard your chest almost caved in.
Sam’s knees gave before you could answer.
He dropped hard with a rough sound, one hand shooting out to catch himself while still trying to keep Dean from hitting the ground. You moved at the same time Benny did. Benny crossed the distance in two long strides, and together you helped Sam lower Dean off his shoulders and onto the ugly gray leaves.
Dean landed on his back.
You hated that immediately.
You hated the ground under him. The leaves sticking to his jacket. The blood on his shirt. The angle of his head. The way his body accepted being moved without giving anything back.
Benny crouched beside him.
For the first time, he saw Dean’s throat properly.
His face went still. Then he reached up and took off his cap. Slow, almost absent. He held it in both hands, staring down at Dean with his jaw tight and his eyes too wet.
‘Dean,’ he said, voice rough and wrecked. ‘No.’
You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t look at Dean for too long either, because if you did, you would drop right back to the ground and stay there.
So you turned to Sam.
‘Are you okay?’
It was a stupid question. He was on one knee, breathing hard, face gray with pain and exhaustion. Blood had completely soaked through the bandage across his chest, and his injured wrist shook where he braced it against his thigh.
Still, he nodded.
‘Yeah.’ His voice barely worked. ‘I’m good.’
You almost snapped at him for lying.
Then Benny’s hand landed on your shoulder. Gentle. Careful.
‘I’m so sorry, darlin',’ he said.
You knew he meant it. You knew he was grieving too. Dean had mattered to him. Dean had brought him into your lives, made him family in the strange, messy way Winchesters made family. Benny had the right to mourn him.
But Dean wasn’t really dead.
No.
You couldn’t let that sentence settle.
Dean was coming back. Heaven was going to bring him back. You had the Lance. Now Heaven would do what you told them to do, because there was no other acceptable outcome.
You sniffed once and kept your eyes on Sam.
‘Can you walk?’
Sam looked at Dean, then forced himself to look at you.
‘Yeah.’
He started to shift, already reaching for Dean again, already trying to make his body obey. You moved to help him, but Benny’s hand came up.
‘Let me take him, brother,’ Benny said quietly. ‘You’ll kill yourself carryin’ him like that.’
Sam froze.
You saw it happen. The refusal flashed through him, fast and painful. He didn’t want to let go. Of course he didn’t. Dean was his brother. Sam had carried him out of Hell, carried him through those corridors, held himself upright on pain and rage and the need to get Dean out.
Letting someone else take him felt like another loss.
But Sam looked at Benny. Then at Dean. Then at the path ahead.
He knew.
His throat moved as he swallowed.
‘Okay,’ he said.
The word sounded like it hurt.
Benny moved carefully, with none of his usual swagger. Sam helped him shift Dean’s body, and you couldn’t stop touching him. Your fingers lingered at his wrist again, even though you knew there was nothing there. Benny saw it and paused, giving you one second without saying anything.
You took it.
You brushed Dean’s hair back from his forehead, then stepped away before your knees could fail.
Benny lifted him with a steadiness Sam couldn’t have managed anymore. Vampire strength made the difference immediately. Dean’s weight settled over him, and Benny adjusted with a grimace that had nothing to do with effort. He looked down once, jaw tight, then started moving.
No jokes. No smirks. No easy comments in that warm Louisiana drawl.
Just silence.
You were suddenly so grateful for his strength that the feeling almost made you sick.
The four of you moved through Purgatory with Benny carrying Dean at the center, Sam on one side, you on the other. You still held the Lance. You hadn’t realized how tightly until your fingers started to ache around the shaft.
Sam pulled out his blade as soon as you started walking again.
Even drenched in sweat, bleeding, exhausted past what any human body should have handled, he locked back in. His shoulders squared. His eyes scanned the trees. His knife stayed ready.
Through the numbness, you looked at the Lance in your hand.
Then back at Sam.
He was a better hunter than you. Even hurt. Even half-dead on his feet. Especially now, when your mind kept sliding away from everything except Dean and Cas and the fact that Heaven was going to fix this.
You held the Lance out.
Sam looked at it, and for a moment, you thought he would argue.
He didn’t.
He took it with his good hand, and you took the knife from him instead. The exchange happened without a word.
A growl came from the trees five minutes later. Or maybe twenty. You couldn’t tell.
Sam stopped first. Benny shifted Dean’s weight and turned his body enough to shield him. You lifted the knife, but your grip felt wrong. Too loose. Too delayed. A creature came from the left, low and fast, with too many teeth and black blood already dripping from its mouth. Another came from behind it.
It wasn’t clean this time.
None of you moved the way you had on the way in. Sam was too hurt, and Benny had Dean’s body over his shoulders, and you kept losing half-seconds staring at Dean’s arm hanging down Benny’s back. Sam drove the Lance through the first creature, and the thing convulsed with a horrible sound before dropping. Benny kicked another back hard enough to send it into a tree, then twisted away to keep Dean from being struck. You caught the third too late, only when it was already close enough to swing.
The knife went into its neck.
Your hand burned from the impact. The creature screamed in your face. You shoved harder, teeth clenched, and Sam finished it from the side with the Lance.
Then it was over.
Messy. Fast. Awful.
You stood there breathing too hard, knife still raised, and realized you had barely felt fear.
That scared you more than the monster had.
‘Let's go,’ Sam said.
So you moved.
Nobody spoke after that.
You stumbled through the gray woods, past blood-dark leaves and twisted roots, past distant sounds you hoped stayed distant. Benny stayed steady. Dean’s body looked almost weightless on him, and you hated the relief that gave you. Sam walked with the Lance raised, slower now, limping more with every stretch of ground. You stayed close enough to Dean that your hand could find him whenever the path allowed it.
Then the blue light appeared between the trees.
For the first time since Ramiel’s blade cut Dean’s throat, your heart kicked with something other than panic.
The portal.
The way out.
Earth. Cas. Heaven. Resurrection.
Your fingers tightened around the knife.
‘There,’ you said, voice hoarse.
Sam looked at the light, and something in his face broke for half a second before he forced it back together.
Benny stopped near the rocks, Dean still over his shoulders.
‘Alright,’ he said, voice low. ‘How we doin’ this?’
You already knew. You had gotten him out before. You would get him out again.
‘I’ll do it,’ you said.
Benny's face tightened. Then he nodded.
Sam moved in to take Dean from him, and for one awful moment the whole world narrowed down to that transfer. Benny lowering Dean carefully. Sam bracing himself. Dean’s body shifting between them.
Sam made a sound through his teeth. But he held.
Benny watched Dean for one second longer, jaw tight, cap pushed low on his head.
Then he stepped toward you.
You pressed your bleeding forearm out, and Benny took it carefully. His fingers were cool around your skin.
‘See y’all on the other side,’ he said, voice rough.
Then his soul rushed into your arm.
The sensation hit fast, familiar and wrong, a pressure under your skin that made your breath catch. You staggered once, but stayed upright. Benny was in there now, tucked into your arm, another life held inside your body while Dean’s body hung limp over Sam’s shoulders.
You could not think about that too long.
Sam looked at you. ‘You good?’
No.
‘Yeah.’
You barely heard him over the pulse in your ears, over the distant sounds of Purgatory, over the one thought beating behind your ribs.
Please let Dean’s body pass through.
Please let him come with me.
Please.
The blue light flared.
Sam started climbing toward it with Dean’s body held tight.
You followed, clutching the Lance again, the rocks uneven under your boots.
Every step hurt. Every breath hurt.
You kept your eyes on Dean.
And you prayed the portal would let you bring him home.
Your boots hit solid ground again, and leaves crushed under them.
For one disorienting second, your body didn’t know what to do with the change. The air was cold and wet, sharp in your lungs after all the heat and rot. The trees around you were real, alive. There was color again, even in the dark. Brown soil, green pine, pale moonlight through branches. Earth. Actual Earth.
You were back.
You had made it.
The thought hit you with a strange, empty force, because it should have meant something. It should have brought relief, or exhaustion, or gratitude so strong your knees gave out. Instead, you spun around too fast, heart slamming once in terror, because none of it mattered unless Sam came through with Dean.
The portal flared behind you.
Sam stumbled out with Dean in his arms.
He made it only a few steps before his knees buckled under the weight. Eileen rushed forward with a sharp, terrified sound, catching Sam around the waist before he went down completely. Castiel moved in fast from the other side to help lower Dean carefully onto the leaves. Sam fought them for half a second, still trying to hold his brother even when his body had nothing left to give, and that small, stubborn resistance nearly tore another sob out of you.
Then Dean was on the ground.
You dropped beside him immediately.
Your hands went to him before your mind told them to. His hair, his shoulders, his arms, his chest. You touched him everywhere you could reach, frantic and useless, as if the portal might have changed something. As if getting him back to Earth might have put breath back into him during those few terrible seconds of light.
It hadn’t.
He was cold.
Benny’s soul pulsed in your forearm, warm and strange under your skin, but even that felt distant. Important, yes. Something you had to deal with. Just not before Dean. Nothing came before Dean.
Castiel was already on his knees beside him.
‘What's wrong?’ he asked, voice sharp with alarm as his eyes moved over Dean’s body. ‘What happened?’
You tried to answer. You really did. You opened your mouth, pulled in air that tasted like wet leaves and night, and the words simply would not come. Seeing Castiel broke through the numbness that helped carry you out. Castiel meant help. Castiel meant grace. Castiel meant the impossible part of your plan finally happening. This was why you had kept moving. This was why you had forced yourself through Hell and Purgatory.
Get Dean out.
Get Dean to Cas.
Get Dean back.
‘He-’ you started, and the word collapsed under a painful sob.
Sam answered for you from above, still leaning hard into Eileen while she held him upright with both arms around him.
‘Ramiel,’ he said, voice raw and almost gone. ‘It was a trap. Dean fought him, Cas. He fought like hell, but Ramiel was too strong.’ His throat worked hard around the next words. ‘He cut him with the Lance.’
The moment Sam said Lance, Castiel froze.
His eyes dropped to Dean’s throat, and the look that crossed his face was wrong. Too much fear, too much recognition, too much grief before he had even tried. Your stomach turned because you knew Castiel well enough by now to understand when he already knew something terrible.
No.
No, he didn’t get to know anything yet.
‘Cas,’ you breathed.
He didn’t look away from the wound.
‘Cas, bring him back.’
Your voice came out thin and shaky, barely holding together.
Castiel moved his hands over Dean, first above his chest, then over his throat. His fingers were trembling. White light gathered under his palms, familiar and bright, and your whole body leaned toward it with such violent hope that it hurt.
There.
Yes.
This was it.
This was where Dean’s chest would rise. This was where the wound would close. This was where he would gasp, where you would sob into his chest and yell at him for scaring you and never let him take one single step away from you again.
‘Please,’ you said, crawling closer on your knees. ‘Please, Cas. Bring him back now.’
Castiel lowered the light closer.
Nothing happened.
Dean’s throat stayed open. The blackened, ruined tissue around the cut did not change. His chest did not move.
Castiel’s brow creased, and the light under his hands grew stronger. His jaw tightened with effort. The air around his palms hummed, bright enough to cast Dean’s face in white for one awful second, and you held your breath because it had to work. It had to. There was no version of the world where it did not work.
Dean stayed still.
‘Cas,’ Sam said, and his voice broke on the name.
Castiel tried again.
You watched his face because you couldn’t keep looking at Dean’s body. Castiel’s eyes flicked rapidly over Dean. His hands shook harder. The white light sparked once, flared, then began to dim.
No.
Your fingers dug into Dean’s sleeve.
No, no, no.
Castiel pulled his hands back.
You stared at him.
He looked at you then, and the grief in his eyes made the world tilt under your knees.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said.
You shook your head before he finished.
‘I can’t.’
For a second, the woods went completely silent inside your head.
Then Sam’s voice cracked through it.
‘What?’
Castiel looked up at him.
‘What do you mean you can’t?’ Sam barked, lurching forward so fast Eileen had to tighten her hold on him. ‘Cas, what the hell does that mean?’
Castiel looked wrecked. His eyes went back to Dean, then to you, then to Sam, and when he spoke again, his voice had lost its steadiness.
‘I can’t reach his soul.’
The words echoed in your mind, useless.
You understood every single one. You knew what a soul was. You knew what reaching meant. You knew what Castiel was saying. Still, some part of you rejected the sentence completely, because it did not make any sense.
‘I don’t know where it is,’ Castiel said. ‘I can’t find him. I can’t resurrect him if I can’t reach him.’
You shook your head again.
‘No.’
Castiel said your name softly. That made it worse.
‘No, Castiel.’ Your voice rose, shaking apart around the edges. ‘No, you have to.’
His face twisted.
‘You have to,’ you repeated, louder now. ‘Do you hear me? He did his part. He went to Hell. He helped get the Lance. He paid for it in blood.’
Your hand pressed against Dean’s chest, fingers spreading over the stiff, blood-soaked fabric.
‘You have to bring him back!’
‘I’m trying,’ Castiel said, and now his voice was breaking too. ‘I tried. I can’t-’
‘I don’t care!’ you screamed.
The sound tore through the woods, ugly and raw.
‘I don’t care that you don’t know where his soul is. I don’t fucking care what that means. Make Heaven look for it. Make Naomi look for it. Tear the whole place apart if you have to.’
You grabbed the Lance from the ground beside you before you even realized you had moved. Your fingers closed around the shaft, tightening until your knuckles hurt.
Castiel flinched.
‘Because I swear to God, Cas, if Heaven thinks it can take this from us and leave him like this, I will shove this thing up every angelic ass I find until there isn’t a single one of you left.’
Eileen went very still.
Castiel looked at the Lance, then back at your face.
‘I don’t-’
‘Cas,’ Sam cut in.
His voice was quieter than yours, rougher, and somehow it hurt more.
He had pulled himself more upright, one hand pressed to his bandaged chest, the other gripping Eileen’s arm like he was only standing because she was there. His eyes were red and wet and fixed on Castiel with a desperation you had never wanted to see on Sam’s face.
‘Please,’ Sam said. ‘You have to get him back.’
Castiel looked at him, and whatever was left of his composure broke.
‘I will try,’ he said, voice low and strained. ‘Sam, I swear to you, I will try. I will go to Heaven. I will speak to Naomi. I will make them search if I have to.’
‘Do that,’ you said.
Castiel looked back at you.
Your hand tightened on the Lance.
For a moment, no one spoke.
Then Sam’s voice came again, harder now.
‘The Lance stays with us until Dean is back.’
Castiel nodded immediately. ‘Yes.’
No argument. No explanation about Heaven’s claim to it. Just yes. Maybe he understood that if he tried to take it, you would use it.
You dropped the Lance beside you and bent over Dean again, both hands going back to him. You couldn’t stop touching him, couldn’t stop checking him even after Castiel had just told you he couldn’t fix it.
A sob broke out of you again, violent and rough. You folded down over Dean, holding his face in both hands.
‘Please,’ you cried against his forehead. ‘Please, Dean, please. Don’t do this.’
No one tried to pull you away.
You didn’t know how long passed before Sam said Benny’s name, and that was the thing that finally cut through.
Benny.
His soul was still inside your arm.
Right.
You had to let him out.
You looked toward the place nearby where Cas left Benny’s body, prepared for this exact reason, another horrible practical detail waiting at the edge of everything else.
You pulled the knife from your belt with numb fingers and cut into your forearm. The pain barely registered. Blood welled up fast, and you whispered the words you needed, voice shaking so badly some of them came out broken.
The warmth in your arm shifted.
Then tore free.
Benny’s soul left you in a rush that made your whole body sway. The air changed near his remains. A hard, wet inhale cut through the night.
You didn’t turn to watch.
A moment later, Benny’s voice came from behind you, rough and shocked and alive.
Good.
That was one thing done. One thing you had not failed.
Castiel healed you after that.
You barely registered the touch of his fingers. Light moved through your skin, closing wounds, easing pain your body had stopped noticing a long time ago. Then he went to Sam. Eileen held Sam still while Castiel healed what he could, her face pale and terrified all at once. Castiel’s eyes kept flicking toward Dean’s body every few seconds, and guilt carved itself deeper into him each time.
You stayed beside Dean with one hand on his arm.
People spoke above you.
Castiel said he would take you home first. He would get you to the bunker, then go straight to Heaven. He promised he would come back as soon as he could.
You didn’t answer.
You remembered the trip back only in pieces.
Dean being lifted, and your hands reaching for him because he was out of your arms too long.
The bunker lights, too bright after the woods.
The stairs.
The hall to Dean’s old room.
Old room.
Not yours.
You had chosen that on purpose. You couldn’t take him to your room. Your room was your bed, his clothes on the chair, his scent on the pillow, the stupid arguments about blankets and movies and his socks. Your room was where he was supposed to come back to you.
When he woke up, he would be glad you hadn’t put this memory there.
So they laid him in his old room. The same bed where Dean had laid you when you died. The thought passed through you without landing all the way.
You washed your face at some point.
Maybe Eileen helped you. Maybe you did it alone. You remembered the water turning red in the sink. You remembered staring at your own reflection and barely recognizing the woman looking back. Blood at your hairline. Red eyes. Pale mouth. Hands shaking against the porcelain.
Then more tears came, and you stopped trying to clean anything.
Dean was on the bed when you came back.
His old bed.
His body looked too large for it, and too still.
Sam sat with you for a while, Eileen pressed close to his side, one hand locked around his. He didn’t say much. Neither did you. He just sat there and stared at Dean until his breathing started going wrong, until he stood too fast and turned away with a hand over his mouth.
‘I can’t,’ he whispered.
You barely heard him.
Eileen went with him, one arm wrapped tight around his waist, holding him together as they left.
Then the room was quiet.
You stayed.
Of course you stayed.
Your grip on Dean’s hand had loosened at some point. You were no longer holding him hard enough to hurt your own fingers. Your thumb moved over his knuckles instead, slow and gentle, back and forth over skin that should have warmed under your touch.
You looked at his face.
His handsome, perfect face. The face you knew better than any other face in existence. The freckles. The line of his mouth. The lashes against his skin. The tiny scar near his eyebrow. The lips you had kissed that morning, back when he was alive and annoyed and scared and trying not to show it.
You had no loud sobs left in you. The tears just kept falling, silent.
‘I’m sorry,’ you whispered one more time.
Your thumb brushed over his knuckles.
Then the skin under your hand changed.
Warmth.
You froze.
For one second, you were sure you had imagined it. Your hand stayed wrapped around his, every part of you straining toward that impossible shift.
Then his hand warmed more.
Real.
Too fast.
Too hot.
You gasped and nearly fell forward.
‘Dean?’
A faint smell reached you.
Burning skin.
Your eyes dropped to where your fingers touched his. The skin on his hand blistered under yours.
You jerked back so hard your shoulder hit the nightstand.
For one stunned second, you could only stare at the angry marks rising on Dean’s skin where your hand had been.
Your touch had burned him.
Your breath stopped.
Dean’s body moved.
His chest rose with a sharp, sudden inhale.
Your whole body went cold.
‘Dean?’
Your husband's eyes opened.
And they were black.
CHAPTER 6 here
A/N: There you go. All that logic- and lore- twisting just to feed my Demon Dean kink fantasy.
But honestly? Exploring Demon Dean as a married man is going to be fun. And also tricky, because I’ve got 15 seasons’ worth of Dean’s character to draw from to get him right, but only three episodes of his demon version. Then again… who doesn’t love a challenge?
Summary: You finally reach Ramiel, and the mission becomes more personal than any of you expected.
CHAPTER 3 MASTERLIST
Story tags: Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Action, Violence, Angst, Drama, Blood Magic, Blood play, Smut, Rough sex, Emotional strain, Moral conflict, POV Dean Winchester, Canon Divergence, Married Dean Winchester, POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n, Ordinary sequel
A/N: I bet you didn’t expect me to post a new chapter so soon, right? I know, I’m full of surprises.
As soon as your blood came into play, the demon became much more motivated to talk.
It didn’t take long after that. A few more questions, a few more carefully placed threats, a few more drops of your blood to make him choke on the next lie before it could leave his mouth. By the time you were done, any trace of smugness had been burned out of him.
And you had what you needed. The way to the vaults, the path to Ramiel, and the information that he was not exactly trying to take over Hell like a king. From what the demon said, Ramiel had not gathered demons through speeches or orders. He had simply asked who wanted to help him entertain you.
Of course no one protested. You had trapped every black-eyed thing down here and locked the door behind them. They hated you for it. There was probably not a single demon in Hell who wouldn’t enjoy tearing all three of you apart if given the chance.
But they probably hadn’t expected all three of you to burn them.
Your heart still kicked a little harder every time you thought about it.
It worked.
You had actually succeeded in transferring some of your great-grandfather’s protection to them. Maybe not perfectly. Hellhounds were clearly an exception, and you doubted anything higher-ranking would go down that easily. Knights, Princes, whatever else Hell had left hidden in its rotting corners. You had no idea if they would react at all.
But regular demons did. That mattered.
You made a mental note to ask Castiel to pass the news to your great-grandfather in Heaven, if you made it out of this alive.
If…
The demon was finally dead now.
Dean finished him quickly once there was nothing left to get from him, angel blade straight through the chest. One hard thrust, one burst of orange light under skin, and then the body sagged uselessly against the stone.
You looked down at him.
Smoke still curled from several places where your blood had burned through his face and neck. The wound on his cheek was the worst, deep, ugly, hole carved into flesh with one tiny drop of your blood.
And standing there over him, you froze.
Because you realized how easy it had been.
Not physically, your hand still shook a little, your arm still throbbed, and your whole body hurt from how tired it was. But inside, in that part of you that made choices, it had been easy.
You had tortured him.
You remembered your first demon interrogation with uncomfortable clarity. Before the second trial, when you had needed to know how to get into Hell, when you had watched Dean work a demon over and felt sick from the brutality of it. You had been stunned back then. Nauseated. Scared, not of Dean exactly, but of what he was capable of when something had to be done.
Now you understood it better. That was the part that sat heavy in your stomach. You understood how a person got there, how fear and urgency could shut down the pieces that made you human, one by one.
You understood how far someone could go to protect the people they loved.
A warm hand landed on your hip.
You looked up and found Dean watching you.
He looked tired. There was blood on his face, a scratch at his jaw, sweat darkening his shirt under the straps of his gear. But his eyes were still focused. His thumb rubbed once against your hip, slow, and the movement pulled you back before your mind could keep spiraling.
‘Hey,’ he said, voice low.
His eyes moved over your face, down your shoulders, to the bandage around your arm, then back up again. He checked every inch of you, making sure you were still standing in one piece.
His hand slid from your hip to your side, then up your arm, slow enough that it almost made you shiver despite the heat and stink of Hell. His palm passed over your bare skin, careful around the bandage, fingers warm and rough where they closed lightly around your upper arm.
‘You okay?’ he asked.
You nodded. ‘Yeah.’
Dean’s eyes narrowed. His mouth tightened, but he didn’t argue. His hand kept moving, up your arm, over your shoulder, until his fingers settled at the back of your neck. His thumb brushed there, warm and grounding, and for one second you let your eyes close.
You were filthy. Hurt. With demon blood all over you and your own blood dry on your skin.
And still, his touch found a way through it.
When you opened your eyes again, Dean’s gaze had dropped to your mouth. His face changed.
‘You’re bleeding,’ he muttered.
You frowned. ‘What?’
His thumb moved before you could reach for it yourself, brushing carefully against the corner of your lips. It came away red.
You stared at the blood on his skin for a second before your brain caught up.
‘Oh,’ you said. ‘That’s probably from biting myself when that demon did that pain thing.’
Dean’s jaw tightened. For a second, he looked like he might go stab the dead demon again.
Instead, he wiped the blood from your mouth with his thumb, slower this time, gentler than the hallway deserved. His eyes stayed fixed on the spot, and your face warmed despite everything.
‘Dean.’
‘Yeah, I know,’ he muttered. ‘Gimme a second.’
His hand slid down from your neck, over your collarbone, until his palm rested against the scar under it. The old scar. The one tied to too much pain, too much history. His fingers spread there, and for a moment he held his hand still, almost like he was checking for your heartbeat.
Maybe he was.
You let him.
His face had gone quiet in a way that made your chest ache. Not exactly soft, but there was something bare in the way he touched you. Tired, scared, and desperately careful.
You covered his hand with yours.
‘I’m here,’ you said quietly.
Dean’s eyes flicked back to yours.
He swallowed once.
Then his hand dropped to your waist and pulled you into him. Firm. Needing. His other hand came up to the side of your neck and then his mouth was on yours.
The kiss wasn't frantic this time. No panic, no urgency in it. This was slow, warm, and just a little tense. His lips pressed against yours once, lingering just long enough for you to feel his breath shake a little against your mouth.
Then he kissed you once more. Shorter. A quick press of his lips, almost reluctant when he pulled back.
He didn’t go far. His forehead hovered close to yours, his hand still at your waist, thumb hooked against the fabric of your undershirt. His eyes dropped.
Of course they did.
You were wearing nothing over your undershirt now. Just the thin fabric, stained and damp and clinging in places because Hell was hot and disgusting.
Dean stared for half a second too long.
Then his mouth twitched.
‘Gotta say,’ he muttered, voice low enough that Sam probably couldn’t hear unless he was trying, ‘hell of a time to bring out the big guns.’
For one stupid second, you didn’t understand.
Then you followed his eyes and rolled yours so hard they almost stuck.
He lifted his brows. ‘I’m just sayin’. That tight little thing and you covered in blood? That’s a lot goin’ on.’
A tired, helpless chuckle escaped you before you could stop it.
You swatted his chest with the back of your hand. ‘Shut up.’
Dean’s smirk deepened, and for one second he looked so much like himself again it hurt.
He tapped your butt lightly, then forced himself to step back.
The air between you felt colder immediately.
Dean turned his head toward Sam. ‘You good, Sammy?’
Sam was standing a few feet away, politely looking anywhere except directly at the two of you. His knife still in one hand, the other pressing against the bandage under his torn shirt.
‘Yeah,’ Sam said, clearing his throat. ‘Yeah, I’m good. We can go.’
Dean gave him one quick once over, just to be sure, then looked back at you.
The softness was gone from his face now, tucked away because the job was still on. But his hand found yours before he moved, fingers squeezing once.
‘Alright,’ he said. ‘Let’s go meet Prince Charming.’
You tightened the strap of your bag and nodded.
Then the three of you moved deeper into Hell.
You followed the demon’s directions because it was the only lead you had.
That did not make you trust them. Hell did not exactly inspire confidence, and a tortured demon trying to buy itself a faster death was not your idea of a reliable guide. Still, every corridor matched what he had given you. Left past the broken cells. Down the stairs that looked half-collapsed but held under your boots. Through a narrow passage that smelled so strongly of old smoke and burned flesh that you had to press the back of your hand against your mouth and breathe shallowly until the worst of it passed.
Demons still came at you.
They rushed from side corridors and open rooms, furious, reckless, sometimes almost eager enough to forget what happened when they touched any of you. Their hatred made them stupid. Or maybe they knew exactly what would happen and did not care. Either way, they came in snarling, clawing, cursing your names, and the three of you cut through them faster than before.
Dean moved with more confidence now. So did Sam.
And that made something warm and proud rise in your chest. Because you had done that.
The protection you had fought so hard to give them, the magic that had gutted your life for a while and left Dean looking at you with so much grief you still sometimes saw it in your sleep, had worked. Sam could burn demons. Dean could burn demons.
You had done that.
You held onto that thought when another demon grabbed Dean and screamed the second its fingers closed around his jacket and skin. You held onto it when Sam shoved one back by the throat and drove the knife under its ribs. You held onto it when one lunged at you and you caught its face with both hands, burning through until it dropped.
The fights were still ugly. Still messy. Demons were still dangerous, especially the ones that did not need hands to hurt you. You ran into two more like that, and after the first one sent a sharp bolt of pain through Sam’s injured chest hard enough to make him stumble, Dean stopped wasting patience. He put it down fast, burned hand against the demon’s jaw, angel blade through the heart.
You had to cross several rooms too. More torture chambers. Empty spaces with drains in the floor and chains hanging from the ceiling. One large chamber that almost looked like sleeping quarters, if sleeping quarters could exist in a place of despair. Thin mats on the floor, bodies curled on them. You did not stop long enough to figure out what they were or what had been done to them.
It did not matter what the room had been built for. Every place down here was only another way to suffer.
At one point, you stopped long enough to check the darts.
You already knew before you opened the box. Hell was too hot, too wet. Too wrong. The box had done what it could, but your blood had already been through Purgatory, hours of movement, and now Hell itself.
The last usable darts were gone. The blood had darkened and thickened inside the casings. You stared at them for a second, then you swore so loudly that Dean actually looked impressed.
He crouched beside you and glanced into the box. His jaw tightened, but he did not say the first thing that crossed his face. You loved him a little more for that.
‘Hey,’ he said instead. ‘Those things still helped put Cujo down clean.’
‘Two darts,’ you sighed, disheartened. ‘That’s what we got in the end. Two. Four, if we count the ones I gave Benny.’
‘And those two saved our asses.’
You huffed, still staring at the ruined darts. Then closed the box because there was no point wasting time on a failed thing, and the three of you kept moving.
Nobody had much breath for talking after that.
You felt the anticipation building with every turn, every stair, every corridor that looked a little cleaner than the one before. Ramiel was ahead. If the demon had told the truth, and you were almost certain he had by the end, a Prince of Hell was waiting with one of Heaven’s most powerful weapons.
Burning ordinary demons was one thing. Something told you Ramiel would be different.
And then there was what the demon had said.
Waiting for Dean Winchester to come home.
The words had settled under your skin and made your stomach tighten every time your eyes landed on Dean’s back. He had already been too quiet since the interrogation. Moving, yes. Fighting. Checking on you with quick touches whenever the path narrowed or after every fight. But quiet in a way that told you those words had hit somewhere deep.
Home.
Hell had no right to that word.
Especially with him.
You lost track of how long you followed the route. Time did not behave normally down here, or maybe your body had simply stopped measuring it properly. Pain and heat and dread blurred together. You left a trail of dead demons behind you, bodies burned, stabbed, abandoned in corridors that would probably swallow them before long.
Then the air changed.
The corridors widened. The stone under your boots grew smoother. There was less blood on the walls here, less grime caked into the corners. The spaces opened up, ceilings higher, archways broader. It should have felt easier to breathe.
It only made you more nervous.
At first, you thought the demons had disappeared, because no one rushed you. No one came screaming out of the side rooms. Dean still moved with the angel blade raised, Sam with the knife ready, you with your hands slightly lifted, but nothing came at you.
Then you saw them.
A few at first. One leaning in a doorway. Another standing at the top of a short staircase. Two more half-hidden behind a stone column. Black eyes watching. Mouths curved. Bodies completely still.
They did not attack, just watched.
More appeared the farther you went. From open rooms, from corners, from the shadows under staircases. Some whispered. Some laughed quietly. One spat on the floor as you passed. Their eyes followed you, Sam, Dean, then back to you again.
You felt the hatred almost burn against your skin.
Soon-to-be meatsuits, one of them hissed from somewhere to your right.
The blood bitch and her lapdogs, another voice muttered.
You kept walking.
A demon stepped out too far, gaze fixed on your bare hands, then immediately stepped back when your fingers twitched. Another stared at the bloody bandage on your forearm with something close to fear.
And instead of feeling uneasy, it steadied you.
That realization came quietly.
After hours of pain, injuries, ruined plans, helplessness, and fear, watching demons recoil from you felt good. Useful. You could make them hide. Make them scared.
And you liked it.
Sam’s voice came low from behind you. ‘They’re letting us through.’
Dean glanced at the nearest doorway where two demons had gone still watching him. ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘I noticed.’
The demon watching from the staircase smiled wide and a voice drifted from the shadows.
'Winchester.'
Dean’s steps did not slow.
'Alastair’s boy.'
Your stomach clenched.
Dean’s jaw tightened, and that was the only sign he heard it.
Then another demon laughed softly. 'The Righteous Man who broke.'
You reached for him immediately. Your fingers brushed his wrist, and he let you have one second. One quick squeeze, hard enough to tell you he knew what you were doing, soft enough to tell you he could not afford to take it right now.
Then he let go and shifted the blade higher.
You understood. If he let himself feel it, he would lose the thread holding him together.
So you walked beside him and hated every demon that smiled.
Another voice came from a doorway to your left. ‘Back to finish your lessons, Dean?’
Dean stopped. Only for half a heartbeat.
The demon kept smiling. ‘Heard you had real talent.’
Something in you snapped hot and fast.
You stepped toward the doorway.
Dean’s hand moved to stop you, then paused when the demon saw you coming.
The thing flinched.
It stumbled back so fast its shoulder hit the doorframe, black eyes widening as they dropped to your hands. You took another step, and the demon scrambled into the room behind it, slamming the door hard enough to shake dust loose from the stone.
For one long second, you just stood there, staring at the closed door.
It had been afraid of you.
The satisfaction that moved through you was warm and immediate. You wanted to hold onto it. You wanted to let it fill the hollow place under your ribs that had been carved out by fear since the moment Naomi asked for the favor. You wanted to enjoy the fact that you felt powerful again.
You knew you were going to miss it when it was gone. When you were back up, where demons were no longer a threat.
Dean’s fingers brushed your elbow.
You looked back at him. His face was careful. But he did not ask.
You swallowed and stepped back into line without saying anything.
The demons grew quieter after that.
Closer to where Ramiel was supposed to be, they stopped whispering and started smiling more. That was worse. The hatred stayed, but now there was amusement too. Anticipation. Some stood aside with exaggerated politeness. One even dipped its head as you passed, mouth stretched into a grin that made your skin crawl.
They were welcoming you.
Dean moved closer to you on instinct. Sam did the same on your other side.
At the end of the corridor, one demon stood alone in front of a wide iron door. It did not attack. It did not smirk like the others. It stood with its hands folded in front of it, head tilted slightly, eyes black and bored.
‘He said to send you in,’ it said, lifting his chin toward the door
Nobody answered for a second.
Sam looked at Dean. Dean looked at you. You could see the same thought passing through all three of you.
Trap. Of course it was a trap. But the Lance was inside, and you had come too far to stop now.
Dean’s hand brushed yours before he adjusted his grip on the blade again.
‘Alright,’ you said, voice low. ‘Let’s not keep the Prince waiting.’
And then the three of you walked in.
They stepped through the iron door, and Dean’s first thought was that the room was wrong.
He had expected something… bigger.
The throne room, the chains, the bad lighting, the whole villain setup. Something Crowley would’ve loved. A court, or at least a grand room full of demons waiting for the show.
This wasn’t that.
Stone walls. Low fire. A heavy desk. A few shelves lined with old books, boxes, jars, weapons. Some of the weapons looked human. Some didn’t. A couple of chairs sat near the hearth, worn in a way that made the whole damn place feel almost cozy. The room felt closer to a cabin than a throne room.
And the guy waiting for them fit the room.
He leaned against the edge of the desk with his arms folded. Middle-aged, broad, graying hair, thick beard. Plain shirt. Fisherman vest. Calm face. He looked more like a guy Dean would’ve passed at a bait shop than a Prince of Hell.
Oh, and no Lance in sight. Dean noticed that immediately.
Ramiel’s eyes moved over them slowly.
‘You took your time,’ he said, smiling. 'Still, I gotta say, I’m impressed. You three handled yourselves real well. Little unfair, maybe, with the burning touch and all. But I do appreciate a good hand-to-hand fight.’
His voice was rough around the edges, no showmanship. That almost made Dean like him less.
He kept his grip on the angel blade. ‘Ramiel, right?’
The man gave a small nod. ‘Dean Winchester. Sam Winchester.’ His gaze settled on Dean’s wife. ‘And the demons' worst nightmare, I hear. Nice to meet you, sweetheart.’
Dean shifted half a step before he could stop himself.
Ramiel noticed. His mouth moved, barely enough to count as amusement.
Then his eyes changed.
Yellow.
Dean’s whole body locked.
For one split second, the room was gone.
Fire on the ceiling. Mom. Dad’s voice breaking around revenge for twenty-two years. Sammy in the nursery. Jess pinned above a bed. Yellow eyes smiling through every ruined piece of their lives.
Beside him, Sam went completely still. His voice came out low. ‘Where’s the Lance?’
Ramiel looked at him for a moment, then pushed away from the desk. Slow. Unhurried.
Dean’s shoulders tightened.
‘You know,’ Ramiel said, ‘there was a time I wouldn’t have known either of your names.’
Dean said nothing. He watched the guy's hands. They were loose, empty. That didn’t mean safe.
Ramiel glanced toward the fire. ‘I had a house. A lake. Peaceful mornings where I could just enjoy fishing.’ His jaw tightened slightly. ‘You ever sit by water long enough? I gotta tell you, you start to appreciate the quiet.’
Dean hated that he got that. Because he did, more than he wanted to admit.
‘Crowley came to me once,’ Ramiel went on. ‘Years ago. Frightened and… desperate. Said Hell needed a ruler and I was next in line. I told him I didn’t care. I just wanted to be left alone.’
‘Then the gates closed,’ Sam said.
Ramiel’s eyes stopped at him. And there it was. The first real anger, sitting under the surface.
‘Then the gates closed,’ Ramiel repeated. ‘And everything topside was dragged back into this… place.’
His wife’s fingers curled into fists at her sides. Dean caught the movement.
Ramiel did too.
‘That includes me,’ he said directly to her.
She held his gaze.
For one second, nobody spoke.
Ramiel looked back at Dean. ‘I didn’t care about you. I didn’t care about your brother. I didn’t care about the girl with burning blood. I didn’t care about Crowley, Heaven, Hell, gates, tablets, any of it. Then I was back here, in this mess, surrounded by panic and every stupid, nasty little coward trying to be king.’
He grimaced at the last word, letting out a short scoff.
Dean’s jaw flexed. ‘So you took over.’
‘I put them in line.’
‘Same damn thing.’
‘No.’ Ramiel’s voice stayed calm. ‘Taking over means wanting the chair. I wanted order. There’s a difference.’
Sam’s brow furrowed. ‘You organized the demons.’
‘I stopped them from tearing Hell apart.’ Ramiel looked at Dean’s wife again. ‘You trapped them. Did you expect them to behave?’
Dean didn’t like the way he looked at her. Calm, assessing, almost curious. He stepped a fraction closer, making the line between them clear.
Ramiel’s eyes flicked back to him.
‘When I came back, I had to learn things I never wanted to know. Who closed the gates. How. Why. The names demons spat when they were having meltdowns.’ He tilted his head. ‘Your name came up often, Dean.’
Dean forced himself to breathe evenly.
Ramiel kept going.
‘At first, I thought it was because of the gates. Then I learned that was your brother and your wife. So I asked why Hell remembered you. And, well, you're a legend. The guy who broke the first seal.'
Sam shifted beside him.
Dean stared at Ramiel.
‘Don’t,’ his wife said. Her voice was quiet. A warning.
Ramiel looked at her. ‘You know?’
‘Of course.’
‘No,’ Ramiel said, smirking. ‘I think you know what he told you. What he could stand to tell you. Master of the arts. Came down here and learned how to make souls scream. Heard that story enough times, a guy starts wondering how much of it’s true.’
Dean felt the words land under his ribs.
He didn’t look at Sam. Didn’t look at her. If he looked at her, he was done.
‘Alright, that's enough,’ Dean growled, voice tight.
Ramiel’s attention returned to him.
Sam stepped forward a fraction. ‘Give us the Lance. And we'll leave you alone.’
Ramiel watched him with the calm patience of someone that had nowhere else to be.
‘No.’
Simple. Calm. Final.
Dean’s grip shifted on the angel blade.
‘You see, I collect weapons,’ Ramiel said. ‘Powerful ones. Rare ones.’ His eyes moved toward one of the shelves, then back. ‘The Lance of Michael is just… one of a kind.’
His wife took one step forward. Dean’s heart kicked at the movement.
‘We're not leaving this place without it,’ she said.
Ramiel studied her for a moment.
‘No,’ he said. ‘I suppose you aren’t.’
The room went very still.
Ramiel’s yellow eyes flashed again, brief and bright as he lifted two fingers.
Dean moved.
Too late.
She hit the wall hard enough to knock the breath out of her.
‘Hey!’ Sam shouted.
Dean turned on instinct, every part of him reaching for her, but she didn’t drop. Something pinned her there against the stone, arms trapped at her sides, feet just above the floor. Her face twisted with pain, then fury.
She gasped his name and the sound tore through him.
Dean took one step toward her but Ramiel spoke behind him.
‘Sorry, sweetheart,’ he said with a smirk. ‘This needs to happen without your magic hands.’
Dean stopped.
Slowly, he turned back.
His whole body was shaking now. Rage burned through him, loud and hot.
Ramiel was still standing near the desk, calm as ever.
‘Now,’ Ramiel said, ‘I’d like to see what’s really in you.’
Dean lunged first.
Sam moved with him.
Ramiel stayed where he was for half a second longer, calm and steady near the desk, like two pissed-off Winchesters with blades didn’t mean a damn thing. Dean came in hard from the right, angel blade low, aiming for the ribs. Sam came from the other side, demon-killing knife ready, fast even with the bandage pulling at his chest.
Ramiel caught Dean’s wrist before the blade landed. Dean’s hand closed around his forearm on instinct.
Nothing.
No burn. No smoke. Not even a flinch.
Dean didn’t have time to hate that properly before Ramiel twisted, shoved Dean’s arm wide, and drove one fist into his stomach.
Air left Dean in a hard, ugly rush. He staggered back one step, boots scraping stone, but Sam was already there. His knife came down toward Ramiel’s shoulder. Ramiel shifted just enough for the blade to miss, caught Sam by the front of his jacket, and slammed him into the desk hard enough to crack the wood.
Dean swung again.
Ramiel ducked under the angel blade and drove his elbow into Dean’s jaw.
Pain burst white through Dean’s skull. His teeth clicked together. He tasted blood. He stumbled, caught himself on one knee for half a second, then pushed back up because screw that. Screw him.
His wife was still pinned to the wall.
He saw her in pieces between hits. Arms straining against nothing, fingers flexing, trying to force her magic out. Trying to reach him. Her feet kicked once, uselessly, and fury tore through Dean so hard it almost cleared the pain.
‘Let her go,’ he growled.
Ramiel smiled.
Dean came at him again. This time he didn’t aim fancy. He slammed into him with his whole body, shoulder first, driving him back a step. One step. Barely. Dean got a fist into his ribs, then another, his knuckles cracking against bone that didn’t give a damn. Ramiel took the hits and laughed under his breath.
Laughed.
Sam grabbed Ramiel from behind and hooked one arm around his throat. His other hand drove the knife toward Ramiel’s side.
The blade hit.
It didn’t sink deep. Ramiel looked down at it, almost bored.
Then he reached back, grabbed Sam by the hair, and threw him over his shoulder. Sam hit the floor hard, rolled, and came up coughing, one hand pressed to his chest. Blood was already spreading through the bandage again.
Dean moved before Ramiel could turn on him.
Angel blade up. Strike to the throat. Ramiel caught his wrist again. Dean drove his other fist into his face. His head turned with the punch, then slowly came back.
His lip was split.
He smiled wider.
Dean jerked against his grip, then drove his forehead into Ramiel’s face.
That one landed.
Ramiel grunted, grip loosening just enough for Dean to rip free. Sam came in again, knife flashing, and for a few seconds, they had him moving. Dean slashed. Sam ducked in low. Ramiel blocked Dean, shoved Sam away, turned into the next hit.
For a few moments, Dean let himself think they could do it.
Then Ramiel caught Sam’s wrist and snapped it sideways. Sam screamed, knife dropping from his hand.
Dean’s heart jumped.
Ramiel kicked Sam in the chest. He flew back and hit the wall next to his wife hard enough to make the whole room seem to shake. He dropped to the floor with a choked sound.
‘Sam!’ she screamed from above him.
Dean saw red.
He drove the angel blade straight for Ramiel’s heart.
Ramiel moved. The blade cut through his vest, through the shirt underneath, drawing a line of blood across his chest. Not enough. Nowhere near enough.
Ramiel looked down at the cut.
Then back at Dean.
For the first time, his face changed. He looked pleased.
Dean swung again, but Ramiel was faster. One hand caught Dean by the throat, the other slammed into his ribs. Once. Twice. Dean felt something give on the second hit. Pain tore through his side and almost took his legs out from under him.
He stayed up.
Barely.
Ramiel released his throat only to backhand him across the face. Dean hit the floor shoulder-first, rolled, and forced himself up on one hand. Blood dripped from his mouth onto the stone.
He heard her voice.
‘Dean!’
It cut through everything.
Her. His wife. Scared and furious and stuck on that wall because he couldn’t get to her.
Dean pushed himself up. His knees shook. He didn’t care.
Sam moved again, too. His brother dragged himself upright, face pale and tight with pain. He grabbed the demon-killing knife from the floor.
Dean wiped blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.
They rushed together.
Ramiel sighed. The sound was small, almost disappointed.
‘Enough.’
He lifted one hand.
Sam slammed back into the wall before he made it two steps. This time he stayed there, pinned. His boots kicked against the stone, knife still in hand, arm forced tight at his side.
Ramiel moved again. Dean barely saw him.
One second he was across the room. The next he was in front of Dean, fist driving into his face. Dean’s head snapped back. Another hit to the ribs. Another to the stomach. Dean staggered, tried to swing, missed. Ramiel caught his arm, twisted, and drove a knee into his chest.
Dean dropped to one knee.
He tried to get up, but Ramiel hit him again. Pain cracked through him. His vision blurred. The angel blade slipped from his hand and clattered across the floor.
‘Dean!’ she screamed again.
He lifted his head because she said his name. Because he would always look when she said his name like that.
She was still on the wall, fighting whatever held her, eyes wide, tears already there. She looked scared out of her mind.
For him.
Dean hated that more than the pain.
He tried to stand, but Ramiel’s hand pressed down on his shoulder and kept him there.
Dean swung at him anyway. The punch barely landed.
Ramiel looked almost sad about it. He crouched in front of him, close enough that Dean could see the yellow in his eyes flare again.
‘Dean Winchester,' Ramiel said. ‘Ten years carving souls, after thirty on the rack.’
Dean’s breath dragged rough through his chest.
Ramiel tilted his head, studying him.
‘It takes centuries to twist one's soul into a monster. But you? You learned the work faster than souls who had been down here since men still prayed to stones.’
Dean’s stomach turned.
Her voice came from the wall, shaking with rage.
Ramiel didn’t look at her.
‘What a waste,’ he said. His eyes flicked briefly to the angel blade on the floor. Then back to Dean. ‘All that potential…’
Ramiel straightened slowly.
Dean tried to rise with him, but his legs wouldn’t answer fast enough. He got one foot under himself, hand braced against the floor, blood dripping from his mouth.
Ramiel reached behind his back.
Black smoke gathered in his hand. It curled, thick and dark, twisting in on itself until wood and metal formed out of it. Long shaft. Sharp head. Ancient in a way that made the whole room feel colder.
The Lance.
Dean’s breath caught. His wife made a broken sound.
Ramiel held the weapon with a triumphant smirk.
‘So now I wonder,’ he said, looking down at Dean, ‘what happens when Hell’s favorite little prodigy comes home… and dies on the floor?’
Dean’s eyes moved to her.
He saw the exact second she understood. Saw her face change. Saw her body fight harder against the invisible hold, panic breaking through the fury.
‘No! Dean!’
He wanted to tell her it was okay.
It wasn’t.
He wanted to tell Sam to get her out.
Couldn’t.
He wanted one more second.
Ramiel moved. One quick, smooth slash.
For half a heartbeat, Dean felt nothing.
Then heat opened across his throat.
The room tipped. His hand flew up on instinct, fingers pressing against wet, sudden warmth. Too much. Way too much.
He tried to breathe.
But couldn’t.
The sound that came out of him was wrong.
And his wife's scream filled the room.
Your own scream tore through the room, but you barely registered the sound of it.
All you saw was blood.
Blood pouring down Dean’s front. Blood spilling hot and fast over his hand where he grabbed at his throat. Blood soaking into his shirt, running between his fingers, dripping onto the stone.
For half a second, your body did nothing.
Then Dean fell.
Something broke open inside you so violently the force holding you to the wall snapped.
You dropped hard, boots hitting the floor wrong, pain shooting up your legs. You barely felt it. Ramiel’s face turned toward you, and for one split second, you saw shock there. Like whatever he had wrapped around you had not been supposed to break.
You hit him with both hands.
Your palms slammed into his chest so hard your vision flashed white. Ramiel screamed. The sound was sharp, angry, real. Smoke burst under your hands and the smell of burning filled the room.
You wanted him to hurt.
You wanted to burn straight through him.
But Dean was on the ground.
Nothing mattered more than that.
Something moved past you. Sam. Free now. Furious. He hit Ramiel from the side with a sound that barely sounded human, and you didn’t look back. You couldn’t. Ramiel could have torn the room apart behind you and you still would not have turned away, because your husband was bleeding out on the floor.
You dropped to your knees beside him.
‘Dean.’
Your voice came out wrong. Too small. Too panicked. You rolled him onto his back with shaking hands, and the second you saw the wound properly, the whole room tilted.
His throat was open.
A horrible, deep slash across the front of his neck, blood rushing out, violent. Too much. Too fast. You knew anatomy. You knew vessels and airways and how fast a body could lose what it needed to stay alive.
Knowing made it worse.
You pressed both hands over the wound. Hard.
Dean’s body jerked under your touch.
‘I know, I know, I’m sorry,’ you gasped. ‘I’m sorry, I know. Just hold still. Hold still for me.’
His eyes were on you.
Wide. Green. Full of pain and horror and something that made your chest split open because he knew. Some part of him already knew, and you could not let him. You couldn’t let him know that. You couldn’t let him leave you scared.
‘It’s alright,’ you said, voice breaking as blood kept pushing hot between your fingers. ‘It’s fine, my love. I’m here. I’m right here.’
Dean tried to breathe.
The sound came wet and broken.
You pressed harder.
‘Okay. Yeah. We can fix this.’ Your hands shook against his throat. ‘I can fix this. Just hold on. Hold on for me until we get out, okay? Cas will fix you right up. We just need to get you to Cas.’
Dean’s lips moved.
No sound came out. Only another horrible gurgle that made panic claw up your throat.
‘No, don’t talk. Don’t try to talk.’ You leaned closer, tears spilling so hard you could barely see him. ‘Save your breath. Just look at me. Dean, look at me.’
His eyes never left you.
Behind you, Sam screamed.
Ramiel screamed too.
There was movement, a crash, the sound of bodies hitting stone. You barely understood any of it. Then a sharp flash of light tore across the room, bright enough to burn through your tears, and Ramiel’s scream cut off in a way that should have mattered.
It didn’t.
Dean’s blood was still under your hands.
You needed to fix that.
You needed to save him.
You had saved people before. You had stopped bleeding before. You had stitched wounds. This was a wound. A body. Blood loss. Airway. Pressure. Heart rate. Breathing. You could work with that. You had to work with that.
You closed your eyes and reached for your magic.
Calm him down. Slow his pulse. Slow the bleeding. Keep him here. Keep his body from burning through what was left. Make him last long enough to get out, to get to Cas, to get home.
You reached inward, desperate and clumsy, searching for the warmth, for the anchor.
For Dean.
Always Dean.
But you couldn’t find it.
You couldn’t hold the thread.
Because your anchor was dying under your hands.
A sob tore out of you, harsh and ugly, and your eyes flew open.
‘No. No, no, no. Come on.’ You pressed harder, your palms slick, fingers slipping against his skin. ‘Dean, please. Please, stay with me.’
Something brushed your leg.
Weak. Barely there.
Dean’s hand.
His fingers twitched against your thigh, searching for you with the tiny bit of strength he had left.
The sound that came out of you barely felt like yours.
You grabbed his hand with one of yours for half a second, then forced it back to his throat because the blood was still coming. You couldn’t stop pressing. Couldn’t stop holding him together.
His eyes stayed on your face.
Green and bright and more important than anything in the universe.
For one second, they searched you. Moved over your face with a focus that made the rest of Hell disappear. The lines at the corners deepened just a little, and your whole heart twisted because even now, even like this, some part of him was trying to say he loved you. To say he was sorry.
‘Don’t,’ you begged. ‘Don’t look at me like that. You’re not saying goodbye. You hear me? You’re not.’
His fingers twitched against your leg again.
Then his eyes stilled.
The focus slipped.
The light went out of them quietly.
For one impossible second, your hands kept working. Pressure. Hold pressure. Stop the bleeding. Keep him here.
Then your body understood what your mind refused to.
A sob ripped out of you, loud and broken and painful enough to tear your throat raw. You folded over him, both hands still pressed to his neck, forehead dropping against his blood-soaked chest.
Summary: Hell is as bad as you expected, and it knows you’re coming. Dean and Sam are forced back into old wounds while your blood magic becomes more powerful than any of you thought.
CHAPTER 2 MASTERLIST
Story tags: Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Action, Violence, Angst, Drama, Blood Magic, Blood play, Smut, Rough sex, Emotional strain, Moral conflict, POV Dean Winchester, Canon Divergence, Married Dean Winchester, POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n, Ordinary sequel
A/N: I know I keep circling back to their trauma in their inner thoughts, but I guess that’s kind of how trauma works. It doesn’t just let go of a person easily.
Anyway, this might not be my strongest chapter in terms of flow, but it’s a packed one. Don’t worry, though, there’ll be a lot less action in the rest of this fic.
Thank you for reading and engaging ❤️
It was a good thing Dean was holding your hand when you entered Hell, because otherwise you might have gone down.
Your knees didn’t give out completely, but for one ugly second, they threatened to. The passage dropped you into the familiar cellar, and before your brain could fully catch up with what was in front of you, the smell hit.
You were sure you remembered Hell with awful clarity. Something like that should have been impossible to forget. But the truth was, some part of you had forgotten just how bad it really was.
The stench, especially.
Your stomach heaved. You clamped your jaw shut and forced yourself to breathe through your nose, which was a terrible decision, because that only dragged the rot deeper into your lungs. Sulfur, old blood, burned meat, damp stone, something spoiled and horribly sweet under all of it. Calling it air felt generous. It was still the worst thing you had ever smelled. Nothing else even came close.
Your eyes watered. Your throat tightened. And the sound came next.
Screaming, sobbing, pleading from somewhere deeper in the dark. Souls in pain, over and over and over, layered over each other so heavily it stopped feeling like a sound and became pressure. It pressed against your skull, behind your eyes, inside your teeth. Within seconds, your head started to ache.
Something shifted beside you. Sam, probably, coming through the passage right after you. But you barely looked. Because another sensation stole all your focus.
Dean’s hand.
It tightened around yours slowly. Not in his usual deliberate way. Not the little squeeze that meant I’m here. Not the we got this one either. This felt different. Absent, uncontrolled. His fingers kept closing, pressure building until it started to feel painful.
You looked down at your joined hands, then quickly up at his face.
Dean was staring straight ahead. Face hard, jaw locked tight, eyes fixed on the dark cellar beyond the passage. You saw the little pulse jumping in the side of his neck, the slow movement of his throat when he swallowed.
His grip tightened again. This time, it hurt enough that you had to bite the inside of your cheek.
You laid your other hand over his, pressing your fingers flat across his knuckles.
‘Dean?’ you said gently.
He didn’t respond. He just kept staring into the damp, heavy dark in front of you.
‘Baby,’ you tried again, firmer this time. ‘You’re crushing my hand. It hurts.’
That got through.
Dean jerked, blinked hard, and looked at you. Then his eyes dropped to your hands. His grip loosened immediately.
‘Shit,’ he muttered, frowning. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s okay.’
It wasn’t really. Dean was strong as hell, your fingers throbbed. But it wasn’t what mattered.
‘Are you alright?’ you asked, even though the question was almost pointless.
Because of course he wasn’t.
How could he be?
Your husband had spent forty years in this place. His little brother had spent what must have felt like hundreds in the Cage. The fact that either of them could stand upright at all still shocked you. People talked about strength like it was something noble and elegant, but there was nothing elegant about surviving something like this. It left marks. It took pieces.
And now Dean was here again. Just stepped right back into it. No wonder it rattled him.
You watched him pull himself together by force. One breath. Then another. His eyes moved to yours, and the second they locked there, you saw him drag himself back into the present.
‘Yeah,’ he said. Too fast. Too firm. ‘Yeah, of course.’
You didn’t believe him.
Sam’s voice came from your side, low. ‘Let’s go.’
When you looked at him, he seemed a little paler than before. His face was calm, almost frighteningly so, but his eyes had gone sharp and distant in a way you hated. He had to be feeling it too.
Sam took the lead with the demon-killing knife in hand. Dean shifted behind you and nudged you gently forward, making sure you were between them. Sam in front. Dean behind. You in the middle, covered closely from both sides.
The three of you moved through the cellar in silence.
And even here, one ridiculous thought still managed to shove its way into your head. If someone had told you a few years ago that one day you would be sandwiched between the Winchester brothers, this was not what you would have pictured. Not even close.
You almost laughed at your own brain for that one.
The corridor ahead narrowed into stone and rusted metal, the walls dark with old blood and things you refused to identify. Chains hung from hooks in the ceiling. Some of them moved even though nothing touched them. Cells lined the path, iron bars thick and black, and the closer you got, the harder it became to keep your eyes forward.
You tried.
God, you tried.
But souls inside were impossible not to look at. Mangled, damaged, twisted in ways your mind would store forever. You tried, for a second, to tell yourself they must have done something terrible to end up here. To deserve this.
Then immediately hated yourself for it, because you knew better.
You knew innocent souls ended up here too. Tricked, sold, dragged down, trapped. Souls that belonged in Heaven.
Your stomach turned hard.
You were passing a particularly awful cell when something about it made your steps slow.
At first, it looked like the others. Hooks, chains, stained stone floor, meat hanging from the ceiling in strips.
But there was no soul inside.
Curiosity got under your skin and you stepped closer before common sense could stop you. And the details started lining up. The claw marks carved deep into the floor. The chunks of torn flesh scattered across the stone. Bones piled in one corner. Human bones. A heap of slick, foul-looking residue near the back wall, the stink from it so intense it made the back of your throat burn.
Your stomach dropped.
This wasn’t a cell.
It was a kennel.
Cold dread locked your whole body up.
You knew it was empty. If there had been a hellhound in there, it wouldn’t have stayed silent. Not with fresh prey walking past. But knowing that didn’t stop the memory from coming back. The first trial. The sound of one breathing too close. Crowley’s experiments. The teeth in your shoulder. The pain. The helplessness of being bitten by something you couldn’t see.
Your hand twitched.
The holy-fire-scorched glasses were still packed away in your bags.
You turned quickly to alert Dean, but the words died before you could get them out.
He had stopped one cell behind you, his head was turned toward the bars.
Through them, a fair-skinned hand was reaching toward him. Pale and delicate, fingers trembling with hope.
A young woman stood inside the cell, smiling at him with a look so hopeful it made your skin crawl. She kept repeating once sentence, over and over.
‘You came,’ she whispered. ‘I knew you would. I’ve been waiting for… forever.’
A chill went through you so hard it almost hurt.
You remembered her.
You had heard her the first time you were here with Sam, and she had stayed with you ever since in a way you never wanted to admit. Not because she was louder than the others. Because she sounded so certain. So… lively.
Dean’s chest rose and fell too fast.
You knew exactly what this was doing to him.
One thing was seeing souls suffer. That was horrible enough. But this? This one was looking right at him. Believing in him. Waiting for him to save her.
And that was Dean, wasn’t it?
Saving people. Trying to save everyone. Always.
Your throat tightened painfully.
Because once, he had been the one screaming for help. Once, he had been the one needing someone to come for him. To take him off the rack.
You closed your eyes and reached inward, past the smell, past the screams, past the pressure of Hell trying to crawl under your skin. You focused on Dean. But not here, not like this. You focused on him somewhere safe. Green eyes, warm and bright, the small lines at the corners when he smiled for real.
The warmth answered fast. Faster than you expected.
You pushed a little deeper.
Not into the magic exactly. Into your memories. And they came. Small flashes, clear and bright in your mind. Dean’s forehead pressed to yours after your first kiss. Dean holding you after you came back from dead. Dean’s hands shaking when he gave you the ring. Dean whispering he loved you on the pier after you said your vows.
The warmth spread through your chest, down your arms, into your palms in an unfamiliar tingling rush.
You focused on pushing it out.
To him.
The release came stronger than you were used to. Sudden, wide, and warm enough that your own breath caught.
‘How… how did you do that?’
It wasn’t Dean’s voice. That made your eyes open.
Sam was walking back toward you from farther down the corridor, expression stunned in a way you rarely saw on him.
‘What?’ you asked.
‘I saw you two stop, so I checked around the corner.’ Sam looked between you and Dean, still frowning. ‘Then I felt this… I don’t know. Warmth. It just washed over me. I felt calm. Relieved.’
You stared at him.
That didn’t make sense.
It wasn’t like you had never used your magic on Sam. You had done it plenty of times. Keeping him and Dean steady on hunts had become part of what you did. But you usually had to focus on them specifically. You had to know where the magic was going. You had never done it with your back to him and thirty feet away.
Your head snapped toward Dean.
He was staring at you too, eyebrows slightly raised.
The change in him was obvious now. His breathing had slowed. His hand wasn’t clenched anymore. His shoulders had dropped just enough.
But what really sent a cold little shiver down your spine was the woman in the cell.
She was silent now. Watching you.
And then you realized you couldn’t hear the other cells anymore either. No screams, no sobs. No begging.
For the first time since you entered Hell, the corridor was quiet.
‘Did I… do that?’ you asked carefully.
Dean looked around the corridor, jaw tight. ‘I think so. Yeah.’
There was something in his voice. Something he wasn’t saying.
Sam stopped beside you, eyes still fixed on your face. ‘What did you do?’
You ran a hand through your hair and regretted it immediately when your fingers caught in dirt, dried blood, and whatever else Purgatory had left there.
‘I, uh…’ You swallowed. ‘I focused on Dean.’
Dean’s eyes flicked to you.
Sam’s brow furrowed. ‘No, you must’ve done something different. Because that was big.’
‘Well,’ you started carefully. ‘I kind of-’
‘Memories,’ Dean muttered.
You turned toward him. He was scanning the corridor, but his face had gone serious in a different way now.
‘She thought of memories.’
Your mouth nearly fell open. ‘How do you know that?’
Dean finally looked at you again.
‘Lucky guess.’
You narrowed your eyes. ‘Dean.’
He shifted the gear on his shoulder, suddenly very interested in not looking directly at you. ‘I saw ’em.’
You just stared at him.
‘When that thing hit me. Your magic, I mean,’ he said. ‘Just flashes. Bits and pieces. Over before I really knew what was happenin’. But yeah. I saw ’em.’
You frowned so hard it made your forehead ache.
‘What… the hell?’ you said.
Dean gave you a look.
Sam’s expression shifted into curiosity. ‘You saw her memories?’
‘Yeah,’ Dean said quickly, then glanced at you like he needed to make sure you understood that.
Your face warmed despite the fact that you were standing in Hell.
‘This is crazy,’ you muttered.
It was absurd. Even talking about this, here, now, in the middle of blood and rot. But the guys were thrown by it, and so were you. Not just the intensity, although that alone was enough to scare you. Your magic had never calmed dead souls before. It had never spread through a corridor like that.
And Dean seeing what you'd been thinking when it happened?
That was new.
That was very new.
The benefits of having your husband blood-bound to you as your magical anchor apparently just kept getting stranger.
Both Sam and Dean were still looking at you, obviously expecting at least some sort of explanation.
You took a careful, deep breath and immediately gagged. You swallowed hard, and forced yourself to talk.
‘Okay. I think we should talk about it later. But bottom line? Remember how you got my memories back?’ You looked at Sam. ‘The ritual. You made Dean focus on the most important memory.’
Sam nodded slowly.
Dean shifted beside you, eyes fixed on the corridor again, but you knew he was listening.
‘I figured memories could help with my magic,’ you said. ‘Especially with Dean as my anchor. So I decided to try it. Just now. With, uh…’
You hated that you felt flustered. That was ridiculous. You were in Hell. There were body parts hanging from hooks ten feet away. This was not the time to be embarrassed over your own husband.
‘With memories of us,’ you finished.
Sam’s expression shifted at once. Fascinated, but also a little worried.
‘Wait,’ he said. ‘Did you just… tap your soul?’
The question made your stomach tighten.
You hadn’t thought of it like that.
Dean’s head snapped toward Sam.
Sam raised a hand slightly, already seeing the reaction coming. ‘I’m not saying that’s bad. I’m just saying it kinda sounds like you did. Which is cool-’
‘Yeah,’ Dean cut in, voice flat and sharp. ‘Frickin’ awesome.’
You looked at him.
He was frowning at you, jaw tight again. The discomfort was loud and clear on his face. Then he glanced down the corridor again.
'Now let's keep movin'.'
Sam gave you one last look, then nodded and snapped back into focus. 'Right. Yeah.'
He took the lead again, demon-killing knife raised.
You stepped closer to Dean before he could follow, your hand coming up to rest against his chest. He went still at once, eyes dropping to your face.
‘Sorry I freaked you out,’ you whispered.
‘I wasn’t freaked out.’
You just looked at him.
Dean held out for maybe two seconds, then gave up with a small shrug. ‘Okay, I was. A little. But it’s fine. I’m fine.’
You rubbed your thumb against his shirt, just once. ‘Are you sure?’
His hand covered yours immediately, holding it against his chest. ‘Yeah.’
You didn’t move. Neither did he.
The corridor around you stayed quiet. The woman in the cell kept watching, still silent, her hand resting through the bars.
Dean swallowed and looked away from her.
‘It’s just… weird,’ he said, voice lower. ‘Bein’ here again.’
‘I know.’
You wanted to say more. Wanted to say you were sorry, even though sorry was useless. Instead, you asked the thing sitting sharp and awful in your mind.
‘Were you…’ You stopped, not sure if you had the right to ask. Then you pushed through. ‘Were you here? In these cells?’
Dean’s expression changed. A shadow crossed his face so fast it would have been easy to miss if you didn’t know him as well as you did.
‘No,’ he said.
You barely heard it. He cleared his throat and tried again. ‘No, I, uh… I got the deluxe treatment from the start. Hooks and chains and all that.’
Your chest pulled painfully tight.
You hated that.
You hated that there was a sentence like that in his life. Hated that he could say it in that rough, almost dismissive voice. And you hated, maybe even more, that he was standing here again now, right back in the place that had done it to him.
You took his hand in yours and squeezed.
‘Come on,’ you said quietly.
He let you tug him forward.
It was time to move. The sooner you found the Lance, the sooner you could get out of here.
But first, you were getting the hellhound glasses on. All three of you.
Dean had expected coming back to this fucking place to hit him.
Of course he had.
He wasn’t an idiot. Hell wasn’t exactly the kind of place a guy forgot because a few years went by and he got married and started doing normal crap like arguing over honeymoon plans and pretending he didn’t like having her toothbrush next to his.
But he hadn’t been ready for how hard it hit.
Maybe it was the walk through Purgatory first. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe he’d already been cracked open before they stepped through the rocks, because he’d had to watch his wife disappear down a slope and listen to her scream from somewhere he couldn’t reach.
Maybe he was still carrying those two or three minutes in his chest, still seeing her covered in blood and dirt and standing over dead monsters with her knife in one of their eyes.
He still couldn’t wrap his head around that.
He knew what was in her. Course he did. He’d seen her do badass stuff plenty of times. But not like that. That was a stripped-down, furious survival. Purgatory probably helped with that. Seemed to pull that out of people whether they wanted it or not.
And now he had to see her scratched up, beaten, covered in blood and mud, and somehow, as usual, all he could see was his fault. Because it always was, wasn't it? He should’ve been faster, should’ve kept her closer. Should’ve grabbed her before the ground gave way. Should’ve done a whole damn list of things that didn’t matter now because she had still ended up down there alone.
So yeah.
Maybe stepping into Hell already carrying all that made him a little shakier.
Maybe that was all it was.
Right.
Dean walked close behind her, the dart gun heavy in his hands, eyes scanning the corridor they had just stepped into. The cells lined both sides, stretching farther than they should have, disappearing into wet dark and old metal. The souls that couldn’t shut up a minute ago had gone quiet after her magic hit, which should’ve been a relief.
It wasn’t.
The faces were still there. Watching through the bars. Some of them, anyway. Some didn’t have enough left of themselves to watch anything.
Dean tried not to look too long. Tried to keep his focus where it belonged. Movement outside the cells. Corners. Shadows. Any sign of black eyes, hellhounds, traps, anything waiting to jump out and make this day even more of a crap-storm than it already was.
It was harder than it should’ve been.
Because he was pissed.
Pissed and freaked the hell out.
And not because she’d accidentally shoved the highlight reel of their greatest hits into his head. After all the weird-ass magic crap they’d been through, that barely cracked the top five. Wasn’t as weird as her stargating his apocalypse ass into another reality, and it sure as hell wasn’t as weird as waking up in her body and having to deal with that whole mess.
He’d made his peace with them having some strange anchor thing between them. Mostly. And the binding ritual probably kicked it up a notch.
So no, the memory-flash thing wasn’t the real problem.
She had tapped her soul.
Her goddamn soul.
That was the part sitting under his skin, hot and ugly.
Dean still remembered her losing him. Losing all of them, but mostly him, because yeah, he was selfish enough to think about that first. Remembered standing in front of her after the magic overload. Seeing nothing in her eyes that recognized him as hers. Remembered the panic. The grief.
And now she was in Hell, after giving blood, after fighting her way through Purgatory, after using magic on herself and him and Sam God knew how many times in the last two days, and she had just accidentally reached deeper.
Into her soul.
Awesome.
Frickin’ fantastic.
If tapping her soul and throwing out a charge big enough to calm damned souls, settle them both, and push memories into Dean’s head wasn’t a perfect way to drain herself, then what the hell was?
It took everything in him not to stop right there and chew her out. Or grab her shoulders and tell her to never do that again in that tone that made her glare at him like she was two seconds from setting him on fire.
But she hadn’t known. That was the thing he kept forcing himself to remember.
She hadn’t done it on purpose. She’d been trying to help him. Trying to drag him out of whatever the hell had almost swallowed him in front of that cell. And yeah, it worked. He could breathe again. His head wasn’t splitting down the middle anymore.
Still didn’t mean he liked it.
And okay, maybe the flashes didn’t help either.
Having someone else’s thoughts pushed into his head had knocked right into all that old crap with Sam and the psychic visions. Totally different thing, Dean knew that. But even so… Not exactly the best memories for him.
Dean gripped the dart gun a little tighter.
She glanced back at him again. And he wished to God she would stop doing that.
He knew what she was doing. Checking on him. Trying to read his face, his breathing, the way he held himself. She knew him too damn well, which was usually one of his favorite things about being married to her. Right now it made him feel like he was one bad second away from cracking right down the middle.
Couldn’t have that. Not here.
Sam stopped up ahead. Dean almost ran into her when she stopped too. He caught himself in time, one hand landing at her waist out of habit before he lifted the gun again.
The corridor ended in a split. Two directions, opposite each other. The layout changed there too. Fewer cells, less blood smeared over the stone. No chains hanging close enough to brush their shoulders.
Sam looked left, then right, knife raised.
‘Does this seem a little too quiet to you?’ he asked, voice low.
Yeah.
Dean had been thinking the same thing for a while now.
He’d expected demons every five damn feet. Expected screaming, fighting, some kind of ugly chaos from a Hell stuffed full of sons of bitches who couldn’t get topside anymore. Sure, maybe demons didn’t hang out in the cellars unless they had work to do, but still.
This felt off.
‘Yeah,’ Dean said, turning his head to check both directions. ‘Something definitely ain’t right.’
‘The last time we were here,’ she said, and Dean heard how hard she was working to keep her voice steady, ‘there weren’t many demons in the cellar either.’
‘Yeah,’ Sam said, forehead creased. ‘But there were at least some.’
She didn’t answer. She only adjusted the glasses on her face, the ones scorched with holy fire, making sure they sat properly.
Dean’s brain, because it had apparently picked now to be a complete moron, noticed that she looked kinda cute in them.
Cute wasn’t the right word.
Hot, maybe.
Yeah. Like a sexy librarian. Or sexy scientist. Sexy-
‘Which way now?’ she asked.
Dean blinked once.
Right.
Hell.
Focus.
‘I don’t know,’ Sam admitted. ‘But there’s a door at the end of the hallway to the right. Left just keeps going straight into the dark.’
‘Then we try the door,’ Dean said.
He had no idea if that was smart. But if he had to keep walking down an endless hallway of cells and hands and pleading voices, he was gonna start chewing through the walls.
No one argued.
Sam shifted the knife higher and took point again. His wife drew in one controlled breath beside Dean. She didn’t have a weapon in her hand now. Her hands were the weapon. Her blood. Her skin.
Hopefully.
Dean didn’t love that. Not one damn bit.
He checked the dart loaded in the rifle again. One of the seven left.
Sam reached the metal door and paused with his hand on the handle. Dean braced the rifle against his shoulder, finger ready but not tight on the trigger. She stood close enough that he could feel her at his side, and he shifted half a step to keep himself between her and the widest angle of the hall.
He expected the door to be locked.
It wasn’t.
Sam pressed the handle down slowly, and the heavy thing opened with a long, low groan. Warm, flickering light spilled into the corridor.
Then the smell hit.
Dean thought he’d gotten used to the stink down here.
Nope.
This was worse.
His wife turned her face slightly, hand coming up to cover her mouth, disgust clear even through the dim light. Dean wanted to pull her back on instinct, but Sam kept moving, careful and silent, and Dean had no choice but to follow.
They stepped inside.
It was a huge chamber. A torture room.
Of course it was.
Full medieval nightmare. Flickering torches threw dirty light across stone walls blackened by grime and old blood. Tables sat in the middle of the floor, some flat, some tilted, all of them stained dark. Iron racks. Chains hanging low. Rusted pulleys overhead. Cages shoved against the walls. Knives and saws and tools Dean didn’t even want to name because he knew most of them.
The heat was worse in here, too. Wet and heavy.
Dean’s stomach turned.
He remembered rooms like this.
Some smaller. Some about this size. Didn’t matter.
He remembered being dragged in. Remembered the first time, and the second, and the thousandth, and how somewhere along the way surprise turned into a different kind of horror because his soul just… kept taking it. Kept breaking and coming back enough to break again.
He remembered Alastair asking the same question. Every damn day.
How long, Dean? How long are you going to do this?
And then he remembered standing on the other side of it.
Holding the blade. Making souls scream.
The dart gun shook once in his hands. Just once. Dean locked his grip down hard enough that his fingers hurt.
Not now.
He dragged his eyes away from the tables and forced himself to scan the room. Exits. Threats. Anything useful.
That was when he saw the barred doors. One on the left wall, one on the right. Heavy iron, low to the ground, reinforced with thick crossbars.
Dean’s jaw tightened.
Oh, that was bad.
Beside him, she took one slow step into the room, eyes moving over the walls, the tables, the hanging chains. Her face had gone pale. Her hand hovered near her stomach for half a second, as if she was trying to decide if she was going to be sick.
‘This is worse than I imagined,’ she said under her breath.
Then her eyes flicked to Dean, and something like regret crossed her face immediately. Like she’d remembered too late that this wasn’t something he had to imagine.
Dean opened his mouth, not even sure what he was gonna say, but Sam’s voice came from a few feet ahead, low and tight. ‘Dean.’
Dean looked up.
Sam was pointing with the knife toward the far side of the room. ‘Same kind of door on the other side. Could be the exit.’
Dean followed his line of sight. Saw it now, farther back, half-hidden in shadow.
Then he glanced back at the barred doors on either side. His grip shifted on the rifle. ‘Yeah. We gotta move.’
The door behind them slammed shut.
The crash tore through the room hard enough to rattle the chains.
All three of them spun.
The heavy metal door they’d come through was sealed. No handle on this side now. No visible lock. No easy way back. Dean’s chest tightened, but his body was already moving before panic got the chance to set in.
‘Move!’ he barked.
Sam surged forward. She moved with him, fast, staying low, one hand out, ready to burn whatever came close. Dean backed them up from the door, rifle raised, eyes cutting from one kennel to the next.
The barred door on the left groaned open.
Then the right.
Deep growls rolled into the room.
Dean’s blood went cold.
‘Son of a bitch.’
The first hellhound came out low and huge, shoulders scraping the sides of the kennel as it stepped into the torchlight. The scorched glasses made the outline visible. Wrong muscle. Thick neck. Teeth too big. Drool dripping in long strings from its jaws.
It was the biggest damn hellhound Dean had ever seen.
The second came from the other side slower, head lowered, claws carving lines into the stone.
They were trapped.
Someone had shut the door behind them. Someone had opened the kennels. Someone knew they were coming and decided to have a little fun with it.
Arena. That was what this was. A goddamn arena.
The first hellhound lunged.
She moved before Dean could stop her, stepping into its path with both hands raised.
‘No!’ Dean snapped.
Too late.
The beast hit the air in front of her and recoiled with a shriek when her palms slammed against its muzzle. Smoke ripped off its face. Burned fur and meat filled the room so fast Dean almost gagged. She dug in, teeth clenched, arms shaking with the force of holding the thing back.
Sam was already there, demon-killing knife ready.
Dean didn’t have time to watch them. The second hellhound charged straight at him.
He braced the rifle against his shoulder and fired.
The dart hit deep in the thing’s chest.
For one second, nothing happened.
Then the hound howled.
It clawed at the spot, thrashing sideways, slamming into one of the tables hard enough to flip it. Metal tools scattered across the floor. Smoke poured from the wound. Its front legs buckled, then kicked out again as it crashed into the wall, leaving a smear of black blood on stone.
But it didn’t die.
Dean’s stomach dropped.
Too big. The dose wasn’t enough.
‘Fuck!’
Behind him, the other hellhound howled. Dean whipped his head around.
She and Sam were fighting it together. Her hands kept burning it every time it got too close, but the thing was smart enough to jerk back after each hit. Sam came in from the side, blade flashing, but the hound twisted with a snarl and shoved him back. He hit one of the racks hard, grunted, and rolled before the jaws snapped where his arm had been.
She grabbed the beast’s face again.
Smoke exploded from under her fingers. The hound screamed, thrashed, and then its jaws snapped around her forearm.
Dean’s heart stopped.
Her scream cut straight through him.
The hellhound shook her once and threw her across the room. She hit the floor hard, skidding through old blood and broken metal.
‘Baby!’
Sam lunged at the hound with a snarl of his own, knife driving toward its neck. The thing reared back, mouth smoking, blood and saliva dripping from its teeth where it had bitten her.
Dean started toward her.
But the second hellhound got up.
Its front leg dragged, chest smoking around the dart wound, but it was up. Still alive. Still dangerous. Its head swung toward Dean, then toward where she lay on the floor.
Dean’s vision narrowed.
No.
Not happening.
He dropped to one knee, ripped the insulated box from his backpack, and fumbled it open with one hand. Seven darts. No. Six now. His fingers closed around another. He loaded fast, faster than he’d ever loaded anything, hands moving on pure muscle memory and panic.
Come on, come on.
The hound lunged.
Dean lifted the rifle and fired.
The dart sank straight into its head.
This time, the reaction was instant.
The hellhound yowled so loud the whole room seemed to shake. Smoke burst from its skull, then fire under the skin, burning outward from the inside. It slammed into the ground, claws scraping deep grooves into stone, body convulsing hard enough to knock a rack sideways.
Then it went still.
Dean was already moving toward her-
‘Dean!’ Sam shouted.
Dean turned.
The first hellhound had Sam pinned near the far table. Sam’s jacket was torn open across the chest and shoulder, three deep claw marks cutting through fabric and skin. Blood poured down his shirt.
The hound snapped again.
Sam barely got the knife up in time, holding its jaws back with the blade braced across its mouth.
She was on her feet.
Her left arm was bleeding hard from the bite, blood running down her sleeve and over her hand. Her face was tight with pain, but her eyes were locked on Sam.
She grabbed at Dean’s backpack as she passed him.
Dean barely had time to twist toward her before she yanked the angel blade free from the side pocket. Her bloody hand closed around the grip, and the blood from her arm ran down over the blade, coating the metal.
She rushed the hellhound from the side, blade high, blood dripping from her arm onto the floor. The hound turned toward her at the last second, jaws opening wide.
She drove the blood-covered blade straight up into its jaw.
The hellhound screamed.
Not just from the angel blade. From her blood.
Smoke poured from its mouth. It shook violently, trying to pull away, but she held on with both hands, face twisted with pain and fury, shoving the blade deeper while Sam rolled free and came up coughing.
Dean was already there.
He grabbed her from behind, one arm wrapping hard around her waist, and yanked her back the second the hound collapsed forward. The blade tore free with a wet sound, still in her hand, and the hellhound hit the floor right where she’d been standing.
And then it was quiet.
You stood there for one long second, breathing hard, Dean’s arm locked around your waist from behind, your hand still wrapped around the angel blade.
The room was quiet now.
The hellhound lay right in front of you, huge and dead, its jaws still open around smoke and burned blood. The other one was a few feet away, collapsed against the wall where Dean’s dart had taken it down. Both of them were visible through the scorched glasses. Both of them were dead.
Because of your blood.
Not the shared protection. Not whatever weaker version of your bloodline magic he and Dean were supposed to carry. Sam had touched the thing, fought it, been close enough to bleed under its claws. Nothing had burned it until you got your hands on it.
Your arm throbbed. Hard. The bite had torn through your jacket and flannel and skin, and now the pain was arriving properly. Blood slid down your forearm and gathered at your wrist, dripping onto the blade still clenched in your hand.
Dean’s grip tightened around your waist.
‘Sweetheart-’
Your eyes snapped to Sam.
He was pushing himself up from one knee, one hand pressed against his chest, face tight with pain. Blood was already seeping between his fingers.
‘Sam,’ you breathed. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yeah,’ he said immediately, then winced as he straightened. ‘Yeah, I’m fine.’
He was not fine.
Three deep slashes cut through his jacket and shirt, running from his upper chest down toward his ribs. Not deep enough to drop him, but deep enough to be a problem. Your stomach turned and your fear came back as anger before you could stop it.
You yanked yourself out of Dean’s hold.
He let you go, probably because he was too startled to tighten his arms fast enough.
You crossed to your bag, dropped to your knees beside it, and started tearing through the supplies. Gauze. Disinfectant. Bandage. Tape. Painkillers. Anything you could reach quickly. Your hands were bloody, shaking, clumsy with adrenaline, and that only made you angrier.
You did the ritual. You had drawn the protective sigil on him. You had smeared your blood over his chest just to be sure.
And it wasn't enough.
‘I knew it,’ you snapped.
Sam looked at you. ‘What?’
You were already in front of him, pulling his torn jacket aside with more force than necessary. He hissed through his teeth.
‘Sorry,’ you said automatically, then immediately kept going, because stopping would make you feel too much. ‘I fucking knew it.’
Dean moved closer. ‘Babe…’
‘No.’ You pointed at him without looking away from Sam’s wounds. ‘Do not.’
Dean stopped.
You uncapped the disinfectant with your teeth and poured it over the claw marks. Sam sucked in a sharp breath and grabbed the edge of the nearest table.
‘This is exactly why I didn’t want you to come,’ you said, voice too loud, too sharp, bouncing off the stone walls. ‘Exactly this.’
You pressed gauze over the worst of the slashes and ignored the way your own arm screamed when you moved wrong.
Dean’s hand landed carefully on your shoulder. ‘Baby-’
You jerked away before you could think better of it.
‘I said don’t.’
His hand fell.
You hated the look that flashed across his face. You hated that you had put it there. But the fear had nowhere else to go, and if you stopped moving, you were going to shake apart right here in the middle of Hell.
‘I knew you’d get hurt,’ you said, pressing the gauze down harder against Sam’s chest. ‘You could’ve died. Either of you could’ve died. And we’re not even at the vault. We don’t even know where the vaults are. We don’t know who locked us in here, who opened those kennels, who knows we’re here.’
‘Sweetheart,’ Dean said, rough but careful. ‘You’re doin’ great down here. Seriously. Like, totally fucking awesome. But you know damn well you’d probably be dead already if you’d come alone.’
You snapped your head toward him.
‘You just don’t get it, do you?’
Your voice came out too loud. Too sharp. The sound of it bounced back from the stone walls, and for one frozen second, all three of you went still.
Dean blinked.
You looked at Sam. At the blood on his chest. At the gauze under your hands. At the brother you had died to save.
Then back at Dean.
‘I died for him, Dean.’
Sam’s face changed immediately.
You saw it and hated yourself for saying it like that, but you couldn’t stop now.
‘And I risked my life for Benny. I almost didn’t come back from Purgatory because I couldn’t leave him there.’ Your throat tightened, but you forced the words out anyway. ‘And now they’re both here. You all are. And if something happens, if I lose any of you down here, then I-’
Your voice broke.
You stopped before the rest could get out.
Then what was it for?
That was the part you couldn’t say. Not with Sam looking at you like that. Not with Dean standing right there, jaw tight, eyes suddenly full of something painful.
You forced one breath in.
Then another.
‘I can’t do that,’ you finished, quieter now. ‘I can’t survive that.’
Dean and Sam exchanged a look over your head.
You saw it. Pretended you didn’t.
‘Hey… I’m fine,’ Sam said, very carefully. ‘Seriously. It’s not that deep. I'm okay.’
‘Shut up and hold this.’
He held the gauze without arguing.
You wrapped the bandage around his chest as best as you could in a torture chamber with dead hellhounds on the floor and blood all over your hands. It was not pretty. But it would hold. That was all you could ask for. You shoved a bottle of pills into his hand when you were done.
‘Take two.’
Sam sighed and shook the pills into his palm.
Only when he swallowed them did you finally look down at yourself.
Your jacket was ruined. Torn open at the sleeve, soaked with blood and hellhound saliva and whatever else had been in that thing’s mouth. You peeled it off with a grimace and dropped it to the floor. Your flannel underneath wasn’t much better. Ripped, wet, sticking to your skin. You tried to tug the sleeve up and the fabric pulled against the bite, sending a bright line of pain up your arm.
‘Damnit,’ you muttered.
Dean stepped in immediately. ‘Let me-’
‘I’ve got it.’
You grabbed the torn fabric and shoved it down off your shoulders, biting the inside of your cheek when it dragged over the wound. You were left in your undershirt, humid air and hot pain hitting your skin at the same time. At least your arms were free now and you could see the bite properly.
It looked bad.
Dean made a sound under his breath that told you he thought the same thing.
‘Don’t,’ you said, sitting back against one of the heavy tables and reaching for the disinfectant again. ‘I already know.’
‘Yeah, well, I’m gonna say it anyway. That looks like crap.’
Sam crouched beside you, already reaching for clean gauze. ‘Here. Let me.’
You almost argued. Then you looked at his patched chest, his pale face, the blood still under his fingernails, and something in you finally tired out.
You handed him the gauze.
Sam worked carefully, cleaning the bite with more gentleness than you had shown him. The disinfectant burned hard enough that your eyes watered, but you kept still.
For a moment, no one said anything.
Then Sam glanced at you, voice quiet. ‘Hey.’
You stared at the dead hellhound instead of him.
‘Look, I know why you’re upset,’ he said. ‘I get it. I do.’
Your throat tightened.
‘But you have to understand something. We love you. And we are never letting you go into danger alone. Ever.’
You closed your eyes. That hurt more than it should have.
Dean’s voice came from above you, rougher now. ‘We’ve always got each other’s backs. That’s the only option in our book. You know that.’
Your anger faltered. The heat of it burned down enough for exhaustion to get through. Enough for the fear underneath to come out.
You opened your eyes and wiped sweat off your forehead with the back of your clean hand.
‘I know,’ you said, and your voice sounded smaller than you wanted. ‘I know. It’s just… this was intense.’
‘Yeah,’ Dean said.
You looked up at him.
He was standing close, dart gun strapped across him, face tight with everything he was trying not to show. His eyes dropped to your arm, then to Sam, then back to your face.
‘But goddamn, baby,’ he said, and the corner of his mouth twitched. ‘You’re one hell of a fighter. Made my blood run south a couple times.’
Sam froze with the bandage half-wrapped around your forearm. He closed his eyes for a second like he was praying for patience.
You stared at Dean.
‘Dean.’
‘What?’
‘We are in Hell.’
‘Yeah, and I’m still just a man.’
You should not have laughed. It came out short and exhausted and a little broken, but it was there.
Dean saw it immediately. Of course he did. His mouth softened, just a little.
You shook your head. ‘You’re an idiot.’
He wiggled his eyebrows once. ‘You love it.’
You rolled your eyes, but the tightness in your chest loosened another inch.
Sam finished wrapping your forearm and secured the bandage with tape. ‘Try not to shove this one into anything’s mouth for at least ten minutes.’
‘I’ll do my best.’
Dean crouched in front of you then, reaching for your wrist. You let him. He turned your arm carefully, checking the bandage, checking your fingers, making sure you could move them.
His thumb brushed over your knuckles.
‘You good?’
You took a mental check of yourself. Arm throbbing, ribs aching, hip still sore from the fall in Purgatory. Exhausted, dirty, scared, probably running mostly on adrenaline and spite.
But alive.
‘Good enough.’
Dean obviously didn’t love that answer, but he accepted it anyway because there wasn’t time for anything else.
All three of you drank some water. Sam took another careful breath and adjusted his jacket over the bandage as best as he could. You checked the bite once more, flexed your hand, and decided the pain was manageable if you didn’t think too hard about infection.
Dean reloaded the dart gun.
The sight of it made your stomach twist.
Five darts now.
Five darts, and you hadn’t even reached the vault.
Dean snapped the rifle closed and looked at both of you.
‘Okay,’ he said. ‘We ready?’
Sam lifted the demon-killing knife and nodded once. ‘Yeah.’
You stood, slower than you wanted, and picked up the angel blade again. Blood still stained the metal. You tightened your grip around it.
‘Yeah.’
Dean’s eyes held yours for one second longer.
‘They know we’re here,’ he said. ‘Be ready for anything.’
This time, Dean took the front.
He crossed the chamber first, stepped over the dead hellhound, and reached the sealed door. Whatever had locked it before was gone now, or released when the hounds died. It opened under his hand with a low metallic groan.
He looked back once, making sure you were close.
Sam moved behind you, knife ready, breathing a little more carefully now. His bandage was already darkening under the torn layers of his shirt, but he was upright and focused.
Dean pushed the door wider and stepped through.
Another corridor waited beyond it. Shorter than the last one, but much wider, with several archways lining both walls. No doors this time. Just dark openings leading God knew where.
You didn’t like that. At all.
You were just about to say it out loud when a figure walked out from the far archway at the end of the hall.
A man. Tall, broad. His eyes were black and his mouth pulled into a smug, angry smirk.
Dean lifted the rifle at once. But you knew he wouldn’t fire. Not unless he had to. He wouldn’t waste a dart on just anything now, not with only a handful left.
The demon’s eyes moved over Sam first. Then Dean. Then you.
His smirk widened.
‘The Winchesters and their annoying fat bitch,’ he snarled.
Something cold and familiar moved through your stomach. Not hurt, exactly. Not surprise either. You had heard worse. You had thought worse about yourself on bad days. Still, the words landed.
Dean went very still beside you, which usually meant somebody had just made a terrible mistake.
‘Would you look at that,’ he said, voice deep and steady in a way that made the hair at the back of your neck rise. ‘A fan.’
The demon’s smirk twitched into a grimace.
‘Believe me, I’m not a fan,’ he said. ‘None of us are.’
Before any of you could answer, movement exploded from both sides. Figures rushed from the archways. Men, women, bodies of different shapes and sizes, all black-eyed, all feral. Too many to count in the first second.
Dean slung the rifle across his body without taking his eyes off them.
You shoved the angel blade into his hand.
He took it immediately.
This was not the time for ranged combat.
And you had your hands.
The first demon hit Dean hard from the side. He met it with the blade, driving the angel blade up under its ribs and ripping it free before the body even had time to drop. Another one came at him right behind it, faster, one hand closing around Dean’s throat.
The demon screamed.
Not Dean. The demon.
For one split second, all three of you froze.
The demon yanked its hand away, stumbling back with a shocked, furious sound. Its palm was covered in blisters, skin cracked open and smoking where it had touched Dean’s neck.
Your breath caught.
It worked.
The protection had actually worked.
Not like yours. Not the violent, melting destruction your touch could do when a demon got too close. But it was enough. Enough to hurt, to make anything stupid enough to grab them regret it immediately.
Dean looked down at the demon’s smoking hand.
Then he grinned. Dangerous. Mean.
‘Well, how about that.’
The demon lunged again.
Dean moved into it with new energy, angel blade in one hand, the other curled into a fist, slamming into the demon's face hard. The thing hissed as smoke rose under Dean’s knuckles. He drove the blade into its chest and shoved the body aside before turning into the next one.
Sam saw it too.
He was in front of you at once, the knife flashing in one hand, his other hand catching the face of a demon that got too close. It screamed when his palm pressed against its cheek, not melting, but burning enough to make it recoil right into the knife.
Another rush of adrenaline cut through the exhaustion in your body.
The next demon came straight for you. You let it.
It grabbed for your shoulders, and you caught its face with both hands.
The reaction was instant.
Your palms burned through skin and flesh so fast the demon’s scream broke apart in its throat. Blisters rose and burst under your fingers. Smoke poured between your hands. You shoved harder, teeth clenched, and the smell of scorched hellflesh filled the corridor in a thick, disgusting wave.
Another demon came from your right. You turned, caught its throat, and drove it back into the wall. Its hands clawed at your wrists, but your skin burned every place it touched. It screamed into your face, and you shoved one hand up under its jaw, feeling the flesh give under your palm before Sam’s knife drove through its chest from the side.
The fight moved fast after that. The three of you cut through the corridor in a brutal line, leaving bodies behind you. Dean was ahead and to your left, burning demons with one hand and stabbing with the other, his face locked. Sam stayed close on your right, teeth gritted through the pain in his chest, still moving with frightening precision. You stayed between them, hands raised, letting the demons come close enough to learn exactly what your touch could do.
For a few moments, it all worked.
Then a sharp, violent pain tore through your body.
You screamed.
It hit all at once, ripping through every muscle, every nerve, every place you had already been hurt. Your knees buckled before you could catch yourself. The floor slammed into you hard, pain bursting through your hip and ribs where Purgatory had already messed you up.
Your hands scraped against the stone.
For one second, you couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t move.
Something rushed toward you.
Sam stepped over you and took it down before it reached your face, his knife cutting through the demon with one hard, furious motion.
‘Dean!’ Sam shouted.
You heard Dean shout your name.
Then the pain spiked again.
Your vision went white around the edges. A broken sound tore out of your throat, and you curled in on yourself, fingers digging into the dirty stone.
You forced one eye open.
At the far end of the hallway, the first demon still stood. He was grinning now, one hand lifted, fingers curled tight, black eyes fixed on you with cruel satisfaction.
Dean saw him too.
He was already moving, tearing through the last of the demons in his way with nothing pretty about it.
Sam kept fighting off anything that tried to get close to you. There weren’t many left now. Two. Maybe three. You couldn’t count through the pain.
Dean crossed the corridor fast. The demon tried to twist away, tried to throw another pulse of pain into you, but Dean hit him before he could finish whatever the hell he was doing.
The pain stopped.
You sucked in air so hard it hurt.
For a second, you could only lie there, shaking and trying to catch your breath.
Then you looked up.
Dean had the demon by the throat, pinned up against the wall.
His hand was locked around its neck, and smoke poured from under his fingers. The demon clawed at him, trying to pry his hand away, but all that did was burn its own hands too. Its face twisted, blisters rising along its jaw, skin cracking where Dean’s grip pressed into his flesh.
Dean lifted the angel blade.
‘Dean!’ you shouted.
He stopped.
His head snapped toward you, eyes blazing, chest rising hard.
The demon choked under his hand.
You forced yourself to your feet. Your legs trembled, but they held. ‘Wait.’
Dean’s jaw worked like every part of him wanted to ignore that. Then he lowered the blade by one inch.
You moved.
A demon staggered into your path, half-burned and furious. You didn’t slow down. You caught it by the side of the head with one hand and shoved it into the wall. It screamed as your palm burned through its cheek.
You barely looked as it dropped.
You reached the demon in Dean's hand and yanked the handcuffs from your bag. Demonic handcuffs. Iron, etched with a trap.
Dean shoved the demon down hard enough that its knees hit the stone. You grabbed one wrist, then the other, ignoring the way the thing hissed when your fingers brushed its skin. The cuffs clicked shut.
The demon jerked, then stilled, breathing hard through burned lips.
Only then did Dean let go.
The demon collapsed onto its side, coughing and clawing uselessly at the cuffs. Blisters covered its neck and jaw where Dean had held it. Its hands were ruined too, smoking in patches from trying to fight him off.
You stood over it, breathing hard, sweat cooling against your skin, your arm throbbing, temples still pulsing with the echo of that pain. Sam came up behind you, one hand pressed against his bandaged chest, knife still ready.
You looked down at the demon. Then up at your husband.
His face was hard, furious, but he understood.
You wiped a streak of blood off your mouth with the back of your hand and tried to ignore the dull ache beating behind your eyes.
‘We’re gonna have a little chat.’
Dean was still riding the high of what had just happened.
Not the fight right in the middle of this nightmare.
The burn.
That was what kept looping through his head as he dragged the demon down the corridor by the back of its jacket, away from the pile of bodies and closer to the torture chamber door they had just come out of.
It worked.
Son of a bitch, it actually worked.
His hand had burned a demon. Sam’s too. Not enough to melt the bastards clean through the way she could, but enough to hurt, to make demons scream bloody murder. Enough for them to think twice before laying a hand on either of them.
She did that.
She had bound them to her, bled herself damn near dry for them. Risked her magic, her memory, all of it. And it worked.
Dean usually wasn’t the one doubting her. He knew better. He had seen her do too much impossible crap to start doubting now. But after the hellhounds, after Sam had been clawed open and her face had gone all wrong because the protection hadn’t done a damn thing against them, he understood why she had snapped. She thought she had failed.
She hadn’t.
Not even close.
Now there were dead demons all over the hall, burn marks on half their faces and throats, and one cuffed son of a bitch ready to talk.
Dean shoved the demon hard against the wall and forced him down until his back hit the stone.
His wife stood over him, breathing hard, thin undershirt streaked with blood and grime. Her injured arm was still bandaged, but blood had already started to spot through the gauze. She looked exhausted.
She also looked steady.
Sam took position behind them, knife still up, eyes scanning both ends of the corridor. Watching their backs.
Dean crouched in front of the demon and rested one forearm on his knee.
‘Alright,’ he said. ‘Let’s make this easy.’
The demon gave him a bloody grin. His cheek was blistered, jaw burned raw where Dean’s hand had held him. Still cocky. Still stupid.
‘Easy?’ it rasped. ‘You think anything down here will be easy for you?’
Dean smiled back.
‘Yeah, see, that’s the attitude that makes this take longer.’
The demon’s black eyes slid past Dean to her. ‘What, you think your little blood cow will scare me?’
Dean’s hand shot out and clamped around the demon’s throat.
The effect was instant.
Smoke curled up between Dean’s fingers. The demon’s grin broke apart into a choked scream, body thrashing against the wall, both cuffed hands jerking uselessly.
Dean leaned in closer.
‘You say one more word about my wife,’ he said, low and even, ‘and I’m gonna let her step in. And believe me, pal, you really don’t want that.’
The demon’s eyes flicked to her. He bared his teeth, but the sound that came out was closer to pain than defiance.
Dean let go.
The demon coughed and sagged back against the wall, neck smoking.
His wife didn’t say anything. She only watched with that frighteningly calm look she got when her patience was hanging by a thread.
‘So,’ Dean said, flexing his hand once because it still felt strange, still felt good in a way that made him a little uncomfortable. ‘The more you cooperate, the quicker and less painful your death’s gonna be.’
The demon spat blood onto the floor. ‘Go to hell.’
Dean snorted. ‘Buddy, look around.’
Sam’s eyes flicked toward them, but he didn’t interrupt.
His wife shifted her weight beside Dean. ‘How did you know we were coming?’
The demon laughed under his breath.
Dean sighed. ‘Wrong answer.’
He reached out again, just two fingers this time, and pressed them against the demon’s temple.
The demon screamed and tried to twist away. Dean held him there for two seconds. Three.
Then pulled back.
‘How'd you know?’ he repeated.
The demon breathed hard through his teeth. ‘Crowley.’
Dean’s jaw tightened. ‘Come again?’
‘You think Heaven is quiet about anything?’ the demon snapped, voice rough now. 'You think the little winged dicks are careful?’
His wife’s eyes narrowed. ‘The angels?’
‘Angels were talking to Crowley,’ the demon said. ‘And Crowley still had eyes on him.’
Sam frowned. ‘Crowley is human.’
‘Crowley was the King,’ the demon hissed. ‘And some old meatsuits stayed loyal. People topside still watching who crawls in and out of whatever hole you left him in.’
Dean felt his stomach turn cold.
Of course.
Because why would anything be easy? Why would Heaven’s brilliant plan not come with something to screw them over?
‘So some of Crowley’s old meat kept tabs on him,’ Dean said.
‘After you locked us down here?’ The demon’s smile returned, ugly and bitter. ‘Yeah. We kept tabs. We listened. Communication got harder, but not impossible. The former king starts talking to angels about a shiny little toy in a vault, and word gets around.’
His wife’s face tightened.
‘You know what we’re after,’ she said.
The demon didn’t bother hiding the satisfaction in his face. ‘Everybody knows what you’re after.’
Dean glanced up at her.
She stepped closer, all polite calm now, which Dean recognized immediately as dangerous.
‘In that case,’ she said, voice smooth in a way that made the demon flinch, ‘we would like the shortest directions to the vaults, if you please.’
Dean almost smiled.
The demon looked up at her and laughed. ‘That would be pointless.’
Dean’s eyes sharpened. ‘Why’s that?’
‘Because the Lance isn’t there.’
Dean went still.
Sam shifted on his feet behind them.
‘You’re lying,' she said flatly.
The demon shrugged as much as the cuffs let him. ‘Go look. Waste your time. Get torn apart by whatever’s left guarding the place. Doesn’t matter to me.’
His wife looked down at him for a long moment.
Then she looked at Dean. He had been with his wife long enough to know that look.
‘What do you think, Dean?’ she asked casually, turning her blade in her hand and dragging the dull edge slowly across her palm. ‘Shall we start with the VIP spa treatment?’
Dean felt his mouth pull into a smirk. Something hot and sharp rolled through his chest.
‘I don’t know, babe,’ he said, keeping his eyes on the demon. ‘You think he can take it?’
The demon’s gaze dropped to her hand. The cockiness finally slipped.
Damn right.
‘Let’s find out,’ she said.
She didn’t cut deep. Barely more than a prick at the tip of her finger. A bead of blood welled up, red and bright in the dim light of Hell.
The demon went still. All smugness drained from his face now.
‘Wait.’
She held her hand over him.
‘Last chance,’ she said. ‘Where is the Lance?’
The demon swallowed. Dean watched him look at her blood. Watched him understand.
The drop fell.
It hit his cheek.
The reaction was violent.
The blood burned straight through flesh, cutting deep and fast, and the demon screamed so hard his whole body jerked against the cuffs. Smoke burst from the wound. The smell hit the corridor, sharp and ugly.
‘Ramiel!’ the demon choked. ‘Ramiel has it!’
She pulled her hand back.
Dean’s smirk faded.
‘Ramiel?’ he asked. ‘That your new big-shot king?’
The demon’s eyes snapped back to his. ‘Hell has no king. Hell needs no king.’
His wife gave a small, humorless huff.
‘Cute,’ she said, wiping the blood off her finger. ‘Sauron's gonna be pleased.’
Dean spared her half a glance.
The demon’s face twisted. ‘No. He’s a Prince.’
Sam went very still behind them.
Dean nodded slowly. ‘Well, that’s fantastic. Always wanted to catch Purple Rain live.’
His wife’s mouth twitched, but the worry in her eyes was already there.
The demon breathed hard, cheek still smoking, black eyes fixed on Dean now.
‘Joke all you want,’ it rasped. ‘He’s not someone to mess with.’
Dean leaned closer, angel blade resting against the demon's chest. ‘Yeah, well, neither am I.’
The demon’s burned mouth curled slowly. More amused than cocky.
‘That’s why he wants to meet you.’
Dean’s hand went still. His wife looked down at the demon, frowning now.
Sam’s voice came low from behind them. ‘What does that mean?’
The demon’s smile widened as much as the damage would allow.
‘It means the Lance isn’t waiting in some vault for you to steal.’ His black eyes locked on Dean. ‘Ramiel has it. And he’s been waiting for Dean Winchester to come home.’