come in out of the darkness

spent the weekend at home again, drawing circles on the floor. tried to keep myself from hurting, don't know why anymore.

[girlmaybe]

i need to inject after laughter into my veins

[lifeinpoetry]

I am, in most parts, made / entirely of longing.

— Saddiq Dzukogi, from Book Three, Bakandamiya

[amethystseason]

there's something so sad and heartbreaking and disorienting about being in a band with someone once upon a time and you fell in love with them and everything crashed and burned and exploded in the most catastrophic way possible,,, and it was wrong, falling in love with that person, and it was stupid,,, and then i get to look around and i see the situations mirrored in hayley williams & taylor york, or the civil wars, or stevie nicks & lindsey buckingham, or fictional daisy jones & billy dunne,,, it makes me sick. it makes me insane.

the kicker, the detail that's special to me that i can't find in any other story -- said old bandmate used to fool around with my mom. my mom who i don't talk to. who is bad person. a bad mother. and when i confronted them with proof, with evidence, they denied it, avoided it, "i cannot get mixed up in these things" "you need to learn to let these things go" threw my abandonment issues in my face.

i know they can't face their shame. i'm tired of seeing them everywhere. i'm tired of still having love for them, even though they hurt me in such a biblical, mythological way. i wasn't as mean as i should've been. i gave them grace because i loved them. they were cold. they were distant. they were floundering when i confronted them. making excuses. gaslighting. minimizing. the works.

i write these songs about them. i see our relationship mirrored in these other people. and it hurts. and it's comforting. but god am i tired of feeling this way.

[isthiscalled-living]

when elena tonra wrote "seems he's very conscious of the world. he recycles, he recycles his words." ugh, her mind!!

[damndorothea]

[ptchew]

Tis the season!

[1st-1]

[dcvina-claires]

i love it when a piece of media is like: is there anything more painful than knowing your sibling? is there anything more tragic than knowing they are the only person who will ever share the same experience as you? they were the only constant in your life. they were there since birth and now, no matter how they betray you, you will still love them. you will always feel the need to protect them even if you can no longer bring yourself to talk to them. will anyone else be able to understand? will anybody be able to love you and hate you and fear you the same way a sibling loves you and hates you and fears you? no, probably not

[littlehorrorshop]

Glorifying the American Girl (1929)

[suuho]

my final act of love was surrender.

[shay-j-scribbles]

Inside Out 2 if it was filmed inside my head

[heavensghost]

Georgia O’Keeffe, in a letter to Russel Vernon Hunter, from Georgia O’Keeffe: Art and Letters

Art by René Magritte

[amethystseason]

the fact that i had this photo of sharon tate as my phone background during high school and didn't know i was queer is astounding to me

[cardigansbell]

[margflower]

[kazs-inej]

FLEABAG: S02E01 SAM SAX: HYDROPHOBIA

[fairycosmos]

i can not believe we are 6 months in to 2024.its not even a joke anymore. life is but a blip. someone put me down like a dog

[amethystseason]

another favorite thing about riverdale continuity: abigail blossom was burned at the stake yet within episodes they retcon that with a 1945 death date on her headstone