Manila American Cemetery, Taguig City, Metro Manila, Philippines
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Misplaced Lens Cap
cherry valley forever
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

@theartofmadeline
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

roma★
Three Goblin Art
trying on a metaphor
No title available
One Nice Bug Per Day

if i look back, i am lost
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

No title available

Product Placement
ojovivo
dirt enthusiast
noise dept.

seen from United States
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seen from France

seen from Australia
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seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia

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@amhoran
Manila American Cemetery, Taguig City, Metro Manila, Philippines
Off Culion Island, Palawan, Philippines
One Foot in the Door, One Foot Out
The sun rises now around 5:00 a.m. and my apartment is a sauna by 9. The cool breeze that provided my ventilation the first few months of the year is gone and summer has settled in. Summer. The kids are out of school, the beaches are somewhat busy, and the pace of life is even slower than normal. This won't last forever. By June the humidity will flare up and scenes of flooded Manila will flash on the television screen. Fantasies of July and August approaching keep my mind wandering. It also motivates me to think about what I need to accomplish before service officially ends.
I've finally started progress on the long-delayed marine sanctuary strengthening project I implemented with my counterpart last year. The outputs are a little different than what I'd imagined when we conceptualized the idea about a year ago, but I'm a pro now at acceptance, so I've adapted well to the changes. We're currently gearing up for sanctuary days in two barangays, planning activities and speeches and educational games, and acquiring certain materials needed for effective sanctuary management. By the end of May I need to fill the calendar up with our strategic planning workshop and biophysical assessment training with my fisherfolk, so the grant can be closed out and completed, and the community can hopefully continue with the training that my office and I have provided for them. I'm also thinking clearly now about BRO camp activities, something I've procrastinated on doing for a solid month.
These are all cool and worthy things, and are a large part of the real reason I came here. But I must be honest. I spend a lot of time thinking about my own personal life and how I will eventually be transitioning from a life with very little structure to a life surrounded by structure. How will I transition from a dysfunctional society and an isolated existence to one that is more familiar to me and more in line with my aptitude? Where in the workforce do I see myself? In what direction do I want to continue with my career? How easy (or hard) will it be to leave behind the Philippines?
Balancing the two is difficult. For example, I should be going to work dead-set on making some sort of measurable progress on our project goals, rather than allow the overall work ethic and attitude, or lack thereof, lock me into submission until I just don't really care if I get that work plan completed or not. I used to complain heavily about the lack of accountability here and how it perpetuates the notion that nothing needs to be done, in this quarter or ever. And now I am comforted by it.
Or instead of enjoying the ample free time we PCVs have with my host family or my community and local friends, I spend loads of time at home researching jobs, building my resume, Google deep diving, and trying to find some insight into how community development work in a foreign country can actually have an attainable end result.
Do I feel guilty about this dual existence? Yes. And no. My mind is constantly flopping like a fish on deck between trudging forward with my work here and possibly expanding it into areas I've left untouched or satisfying my own desires of isolating myself and dreaming of self-fulfillment.
A million thoughts cross my mind each day, but this one has set the tone and prevailed more than others:
"I may be on the fat government teat right now, but I'll be damned if I'm going to sit here wasting away not even thinking about my future when I can do something to actively alter the course of reality, which, at the moment, involves me being unemployed at my parent's house!" (Sorry Mom and Dad)
There are periods of transition in our lives and they offer a massive opportunity to take your destiny into your own hands. They provide the rare chance of real change yet also the stress of an ending without a foreseeable beginning. But this kind of ending shouldn't be stressful, it should be enjoyable, bittersweet. And really, unexpected beginnings are the best kind anyway.
Pharrell Williams Happy
featuring the Philippines after Typhoon Haiyan.
this made me so happy, happy, happy, happy.... :)
Things I Try To Explain To Filipinos About America But Probably Fail
The perception of Filipino life in this blog has largely gone in one direction: from the Philippines and Filipinos to me, then from me to here or out of my mouth to all of you. So I think it’s high time that I let you know some invaluable cultural insights and observations about Americans that I am trying to teach to Filipinos.
A state is kind of like a province. A Local Government Unit (LGU) is kind of like City Hall. Except here, a job at the LGU is one of the most coveted positions in my town and all towns. It is one of the only insitutions, locally, where you can have full-time, salary-with-benefits employment. If you don’t own land or buildings, the only way you can expect to make any sort of reliable income is to move to a city or work abroad. Can you imagine City Hall of Anytown, USA, being a desirable place to work? Most people here are shocked that I’ve never, not once, known the name of the Mayor of my hometown. If I saw him/her at CVS, I wouldn’t think anything of it.
Not all Americans are white and look the same. I don’t think I can ever really get this point across, without having an American person of color or other ethnicity visit my site and have them shove their American passport in my community’s faces. Even there, it’s a stretch. Yes, Barack Obama as our President has helped to dissolve this notion a bit, but I get a lot of “He’s not really American” comments, like something out of a Fox News broadcast. Filipino family that is born in America is now American, and does not look like me. They look Filipino. Which actually is of Malay origin. See what I did there?
America has poor people too. My counterpart has one of those aforementioned coveted LGU positions, makes the equivalent of about $3000 a year, and owns two motorcycles, a (small) house, provides (rather) comfortably for his wife and two kids, and sends one to a local private school. How is it possible to make 7 times that in the States for a family of four, and still really struggle to put food on the table and make rent payments for an apartment that is almost worse off, structurally, than my counterpart’s house? It just is.
Lawns. A vestige of the physical geography of northern Europe where lawns naturally exist, lawns are seriously ingrained in American culture. We ditch and drain our landscapes for pre-planned communities in Florida, recreating an illusion of how it’s supposed to be and justify it by saying it’s “Deed Restricted”. We build entire cities with millions of people in the middle of a desert, complete with lawns. Do natural landscapes exist in the States? Suburban America is a weird place.
There are places and homes in the United States where people who are over the age of 60 go to live when they can no longer perform simple, daily, household functions. They go there, alone, with other people, who are also alone, seemingly abandoned by their family. It is assumed here that a geriatric family member lives with their children. A nursing home or retirement community is hard to explain. They see it as a cruel and unusual punishment, where we see it as freedom and relief. Of course, this isn’t everyone, but I think it’s safe to say that most adults will do everything possible before ceding to live with their elderly family members. What’s even more difficult to explain is how you can do this and still love those same family members.
Most Americans are not that happy. Moving to the United States does not create happiness. We feel it is something you choose, and you get there by making changes in your life and making choices that eventually, hopefully, get you there. I don’t want to sit here and tell you that all Americans complain and they don’t have real problems that prevent them from obtaining their goals and dreams that they feel will grant them happiness. Because people do. But maybe ignorance is bliss (it’s not). Maybe happiness is just a state of being that just is (maybe, sometimes). Americans are constantly searching for a level of meaning and happiness in life that is probably just an illusion. People here don’t search for it, they believe it’s already here, and just genuinely don’t want for anything. Is that happiness?
New PBS Nova documentary about killer typhoon Haiyan that hit the Philippines on November 8th, 2013. Approximately 6000 people died in one of the worst storm...
Something everyone should watch.
San Pablo Island, Hinunangan. May 2013
The road to Cabalian, Southern Leyte
Camp BRO (Boys Respecting Others)
Now that I'm back at site and trying to get work done before I COS (Close of Service) in six months, I'm rapidly trying to make stuff happen, tie up loose ends, and work on some side passion projects of mine that I've been wanting to do for some time.
Several other PCVs and myself are working on a camp BRO here in the Philippines. We initially intended to go through the Peace Corps website to raise money through a PCPP (Peace Corps Partnership Program) grant, but realized our timeline was too short and our planned activities too imminent, so we are fundraising ourselves.
I wrote a short narrative about our project to give you all a better perspective on what it entails. I'm asking anyone to please donate and help out in any way that you can. This is a project that we hope to continue for years to come with incoming Peace Corps Volunteers all across the Philippines. Any support is fully appreciated. Thanks!
Link for fundraising site: https://fundly.com/gender-development-in-the-philippines
* * *
The BRO (Boys Respecting Others) Camp idea began with Peace Corps Volunteers in Jordan. It grew out of the need to have a counterpart to the Peace Corps-wide success of Camp GLOW (Girls Leading Our World), a female gender development camp that has been a PC backed initiative in all countries for quite some time.
After spending enough time in the Philippines, it became apparent that 1. This country is full of children and 2. While these children may come from tight-knit, loving families, there is a lack of male role models for young men in the provinces, especially since many men work abroad or away in the cities in order to make a high enough salary to provide for their families.
This frequent lack of male role models for young boys slows the sort of emotional intelligence growth that is needed for boys to look deeper into themselves. Without this ability, many young men have trouble developing the self-awareness that fosters a healthy, non-violent masculinity, positive socialization, interpersonal skills, as well as attitudes and relationships towards women based on respect and understanding. We want to stress that even though healthy relationships are mostly loving, they can also be challenging and painful, and that building strength within yourself helps you overcome those hard times.
The 5 day/4 night camp will encompass group-based workshops on leadership, character, gender stereotypes, healthy relationships, adolescent health, and stewardship - particularly aimed towards protecting the rapidly degrading coastal environment.
The big picture idea for this Camp BRO is to initiate it as an annual Peace Corps Philippines project with the development of the Camp BRO module, so BRO Camps can be replicated with different PCVs across the Philippine islands. A future goal is sustainability of the camps, with trainings on facilitation to Filipino peer educators and teachers, to keep the BRO camps alive.
Two separate BRO camps will be held- one in Sagay City, Negros Oriental and one in Sorsogon City, Bicol. The camp in Sagay City, at Sagay National High School, is in direct counterpart to the highly successful GLOW camp conducted there last year by Peace Corps Volunteers. The school administrators were so impressed with GLOW that they had specifically asked if there would be a similar camp for the male students. The Camp GLOW also predicates itself on leadership, gender stereotypes, healthy relationships, and self-esteem and body issues.
My fellow Peace Corps BROs feel that men tend to be socialized to push past pain. The message we want to bring to these young men is that if you can’t recognize your own pain, how can you handle someone else’s? We feel that attitudes towards women need to change specifically among young men, and that type of change, even if impossibly small, seems most possible when awareness and protest comes from within the group that holds the most power. Boys can be the solution, not the problem.
We want this call for alternative role models to rewrite and redefine what men in modern society are- and aren't, who they can be, and what they can become.
Saturday nights - Manila
plants and animals - the end of that
PCV Cribs - New digs, new year, new-ish service. Peace Corps 2.0
Specs:
- Tile countertops
- Fake wood tile floor
- Working CR (bathroom) with shower and an i-only-flush-if-i-feel-like-it toilet
- Two lights
- Built in wardrobe/storage unit
- Sink with faucet in CR
- Side balcony
- Kitchen storage units
- Walls that have a slight leak with heavy rains
- Occasional sunsets from balcony
Front Porch View, Barangay Panalaron, Hinunangan, Southern Leyte
A Peace Corps Thanksgiving
I spent a few weeks in Manila last November to rest, heal, and gather my thoughts and strength after the Yolanda experience. This time also gave me the opportunity to be included on group trips with other friends that I am never able to normally visit or see. Many PCVs had already planned an annual getaway to Sagada, a small town in the mountains up north, to celebrate Thanksgiving. I had otherwise planned on not attending. But there will be a real turkey (OVEN roasted), mountain air (in stark contrast to the Manila air to which I was breathing), mountain trees, mountain people, mountain crafts, mountain things. And cold air! So I went.
By now when I visit another place in the Visayas it's nothing new, but I can still appreciate it as a beautiful place regardless. Baguio City, in Benguet province, immediately reminded me of San Francisco. The windy roads, misty cool air, expansive views, pine trees, steep slopes, and hills stretched forever covered in houses and structures served as a different scene from the Philippines I was used to. We rode first class on an overnight bus from Manila that left around midnight and arrived around 6:30. We went to a Pancake House after we disembarked and for a moment we could have been in Any Mountain Town, North Carolina.
Major differences that I noticed: paved roads, brick buildings, no native homes (nipa huts), a relatively organized downtown, no motorcabs or trykes (taxis only), chimneys protruding from roofs, wooden homes, sidewalks. Were the people in Benguet province relatively better off than those in the Visayas? Perhaps. Are there systemic poverty and infrastructure issues present? Most definitely. I was only able to see a slice of Baguio, but the area is plagued by overcrowding, lack of effective waste removal, street children, low incomes, etc. A lot of the displaced poor in Mindanao (typically the Filipino muslims) initially move to Manila, then work their way up to Baguio, looking for work, a home, stability. In that respect, it was similar to the Philippines that is more familiar to me. Baguio most certainly is a charming place, by far the most unique city I've visited in the Philippines. I highly recommend a visit.
The road to Sagada is long, curvy, and at times perilous, but full of unexpectedly fantastic views. The farmed terraces that cascade down to the valleys are a spectacle of the way in which most of the Philippines is able to receive year round cold weather vegetables. The sunny day kept my face glued to the windows, hypnotized by what I was seeing. I'm never able in this country to see so far and yet feel like everything is so close.
Sagada is a cool place. The entire travel time from Manila is about 15 hours on a bus, so it is not necessarily a trip you make on a whim. Even though it is remote and actually nestled in mountains, it was surprising to see how many foreigners were there. Backpacking Europeans, Australians, and other “sociale” type Filipinos were roaming the streets, looking for the next café to sip coffee in or relax with a view. The locals didn’t even pretend to stare at us as we trotted around town for the next beer, hike, or meal. No “Hey, Joe!” or “Hey man, where you going?!”. It feels odd to be taken for granted for once.
Instead of blaring videoke machines and speeding motorcycles, I heard country music and whistling pines. The language is so different here than in the Visayas. It sounds more like Japanese, some syllables pronounced with a high, jib-jab accent, and others softened out to sound more like nothing I can understand. The people also seemed a bit shorter than normal. Perhaps because of their isolation they haven’t mixed genetically with the more mestizo-type Filipinos in the lowlands and metro Manila? Despite all the differences, there is more familiarity here than not. Sacheys of shampoo still hung from sar-sari stores next door to fried chicken and soup canteens.
I always find it interesting whenever I travel here that there is a certain unspoken sameness to the people. Most in my town have barely left Hinunangan, yet at an entirely different altitude and climate, over 500 miles and a 50 hour bus ride away, the food is the same, the expressions are the same, the shuffling of feet are the same, and the organization of home and community are the same. When I tell some of my Filipino friends where I’ve visited, their eyes light up and their heads tilt back, and the trigger of questions begins, like a pitching machine. Are the people not as friendly as Cebuanos? I heard they eat dog, do they eat dog? How cold was it there? What is a chimney? There are only the small things that differentiate regional Filipinos, but the nationality is still very clear.
I’m not sure if it was because I was still reeling a bit from Yolanda, or that I was on a legitmate vacation, or that I truly thought this might be the last week I will spend in this country for a long time, but I treated this trip as a last hurrah to service. I grew nostalgic for my service and all the friendships that I made in Peace Corps. I tried to reconcile with myself that I did all I could, that if this ends now, this week, I’ll be satisfied and ready to move on to the next thing in my life. There were so many unknowns. If I return, would I be working in a leadership capacity in Manila? Could I ever physically return to site? What is the damage like in south Leyte? Will any volunteers be able to return to the region? How are my friends and family in Hinunangan? I vacillated between wanting to resume service as it was, or leaving it all behind, moving on, and simply accept the opportunity I jumped at a year and half ago.
At times I felt exasperated with my work and completely dispassionate, especially towards the end. But at the same time, it is hard to let go of this carefree wandering stage in my life, and readjust to the easy familiarity of the States that I miss so much.
Thanksgiving before Thanksgiving was a time in Peace Corps that I will never forget. Most of us together, after the experience of Yolanda, recreating just about everyone’s favorite stateside holiday in cold weather in a foreign country made it one of the most memorable Thanksgivings I’ve ever had. We had all the right ingredients: stuffing, turkey, mac and cheese, fresh greens, fudge, apple crisp, red wine, and a room to ourselves to mingle and chill in the mountaintops of the Philippines.
Before dinner, my friend Zac was recording small interviews about what we are thankful for, for one of his many videos that he made about our Batch 271 Thanksgiving trip. When he asked me what I was thankful for, I paused, thought for a minute, and said “friendships and good people”. Lame. Who isn’t thankful for friendships? Or good people? I was put on the spot and had a glass of wine already and it was the only thing that immediately came to mind.
Later on I kept thinking about all those people that I may be leaving behind in my community, Tacloban City, Bataan, and other places where I’ve fostered relationships with Filipinos over the past year and a half. I think what I’m really thankful for is that I have choices. And I’m thankful for the decisions (mostly) that I’ve made with those given choices to get me to where I stood then, in Sagada, enjoying great food with even greater company, harnessed with a wealth of experience. I’ve always felt that our biggest job (and hardest to deliver) is to make people in our community feel like they have choices. Choices to work, to leave someone, to serve, to run, to move up the ranks, to love, to find a passion, to see other places. It is a value that we live and fight for in the States, but not so much elsewhere.
What it comes to then is that I’m thankful to be American.
Thanksgiving Trip. Sagada, Mountain Province, Philippines
Padre Burgos, Southern Leyte. November, 2013.