The New Fab Five As One Direction
On February 19th, 2018, after the recent release of the Netflix Original “Queer Eye” (a modern remake of Bravo’s “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”), I asked for the public’s patience as I thoughtfully analyzed to which member of One Direction each Fab guy correlated. After three years as an avid 1D stan, I instinctively analyze any groups of five (people, kittens, kitchen appliances, cupcakes) into the One Direction boys, but something about the Fab 5 was truly astounding in how they remind me of them. Like a group of puppies who are also thoughtful and kind and caring with distinct personalities who more than anything love each other so much. And so they deserved more time than my gut instinct ‘lol that’s Liam’ point and shoot.
Thank you for giving me my time and space and respecting the process. But I’m ready. This will undoubtedly cause controversy, and tbh? I’m here for the discourse. I think the Fab Five mean different things to all of us, just as the 1D boys do.
Harry = Jonathan - Scream worthy. The obvious favorite that you try to fight against but in the end they are too beautiful of spirit, to golden hearted, to purely energetic to resist. They are silly and sexy, funny and intellectual, surprising at every turn They have the hair of gods and should be respected as such but they don’t want you to think of them that way but that’s just what they are ANGELS on EARTH.
Niall = Bobby - RESPECT. FOR. BOBBY/NIALL. Lowkey the hardest working one who and at first you’re like bobby/niall whomst? until they come through and ROCK your little world with how well they’ve been paying attention and can deliver exactly what you want and need. Can execute a genre/aesthetic TO PERFECTION without it feeling derivative. The heroes we need, not the ones we deserve tbfqh
Louis = Karamo - Yeah. That’s fucking RIGHT. He will overwhelm you time and time again with how astute they are and how deeply, deeply giving they are. Could destroy you but wouldn’t (one with words, one with his thirst trapping), And yeah, at first you’re like ‘we don’t need you’ but then you realize holY SHIT this whole thing working hinges upon you! You are the foundation and everyone relies on you even though the untrained eye would just DISMISS YOU. Essential. Important. Huge hearts.
Liam = Tan. Handsome as sin. Quiff can touch the sky. Predictable? maybe but reliable and loyal and sweet and just genuinely wants you to be your best and would take a nap cuddled with karamo LET’S BE REAL. There is a classic class to these two and they are just putting out hit after hit after patterned roll-sleeve button-up hit.
And finally, there is no other truth but this:
Zayn = Antoni YOUR CONTROVERSIAL FAVE. SO BEAUTIFUL TO LOOK AT BUT SOMETIMES YOU’RE LIKE ‘HON, STOP TALKING’ but also a sensitive soul, likes ‘real’ music, soooo preeeeettyyyy have i mentioned how pretty? but yeah you’re gonna get a reaction whether pos or neg if you stan either of these men as your number one but also i gET It. Some people spit hate but your heart wants to fave what your heart wants and you follow on Instagram despite yourself because have we mentioned HOW PRETTY?
Let us give thanks for our Dads and Sons.
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