anorexic angst

this is a sideblog (main is officialmiafeys) where i can post my thinspo and scream into the void || hey it's ya girl connie idk how to feed myself without having a mental breakdown even tho i'm in my 30s || i'm not pro-ED i'm just screaming into my own personal hell void and making dumb memes

[amistillpretty]

how it feels when i accidentally throw up during a cardio workout (bonus purge)

[amistillpretty]

as a teenager, i used to hate sylvia plath but now i really get why she did it bc being in my thirties has brought nothing but suffering

[amistillpretty]

trying not to have a panic attack at work because i have to teach soon but i just feel so shitty about everything ever and my diet coke isn't helping and vaping isn't helping and i just want to curl up in a ball and cry myself out

[amistillpretty]

my one normal friend has ghosted me, leaving me with my schizophrenic friend group of which i am the mother reassuring everyone that their delusions are not real and they are perfectly fine

my social skills are going to be so cooked in a few months

i don't even have anyone to play hello kitty island adventure with me anymore kms

[amistillpretty]

my kingdom for a rugged masc that's into psychotic femmes with religious trauma to the point of being trapped in a borderline abusive marriage to a man

[amistillpretty]

honestly being in my thirties with an ED is so embarrassing bc i want to have kids but i also know that being pregnant will send me right back to the psych ward :)

[ineedtob3-deactivated20250527]

[amistillpretty]

my partner asked if i ever considered ozempic while i'm only eating once a day and working out everyday ☺️ i guess i'm fully back in the ED business, time to browse thinspo while listening to weight loss subs

[amistillpretty]

i'd probably be better off dead lmao anyway i relapsed again hahahaha love this for me!!!! 😊

[amistillpretty]

i love when men get their own bro version of EDs and won't stfu about being ""calorie conscious"" and it ruins ur recovery progress and now i haven't eaten in two days because my fear of calories is back!!!!🤪

[amistillpretty]

after a year, i'm back with a relapsed ED, a fun new personality disorder, and a mystery illness that makes my heart rate and blood pressure skyrocket when i stand up

[amistillpretty]

cool new update: i dumped my shitty triggering friend and turns out, she was abusive to a lot of people and i was just the latest chump. now i'm in a discord support group with all the other people she's abused so we can all talk about the shit she did/said to us. very validating!

i also got all my friends back! turns out they dumped me because of her and were just waiting for me to tell her to fuck off. i'm still wondering why none of them smacked THE STUPID OUTTA ME

unfortunately, while i got rid of the trash, i am still relapsed and you are still stuck with me and my shitty memes xoxo

[amistillpretty]

if you trigger me into a relapse and then like all my vent tweets about my relapse over the course of the past MONTH, how can you look me in the eyes and genuinely ask if i'm okay?

i'm sorry, do okay people obsessively track their weight? my whole personality is now my eating disorder and i hate myself for it and i can feel myself becoming boring but idk who i am outside of my eating disorder

anyway, i didn't reply because it's a stupid question that smacks of "idrc if you're okay or not, and idk how to help if you're not"

back to restricting

[amistillpretty]

numbers cw

i wanted to lose the 100lbs of pandemic weight in six months (before halloween) bc i hate being obese so much it's so uncomfortable to be this huge and if i give myself a deadline then i know what to do to achieve it

i ended up losing 21lbs my first month!!! so i only need to lose 13lbs this month to stay on target :')

[amistillpretty]

the whole point of starving was to get rid of my period

NOT MAKE IT MORE REGULAR

[amistillpretty]

kind of mad that my best friend equated my anorexia to her forgetting to eat sometimes like what part of "i am literally starving myself" is incomprehensible here like i'm not eating unless i am forced to

but because she forgets to eat every once in a blue moon, she thinks she also gets the ed card and it makes me shake with rage especially when she opens every convo with what she's eating!!! bitch!!! clearly you're not forgetting to eat!!!!!!

[curriou]

Me to my ED, depression, anxiety and inner demons before I leave the house to hang out with friends.