pay attention to me

[amnestyjournals]

What I feel for you is so certain, I vow to build the rest of my life around you.

k

[amnestyjournals]

I said I love you on an exhale And before I could even empty my lungs You were exhaling back My butterflies released My daisy plucked You, the one I was going to love The angels singing “Glory to God” What a miracle it is To be in love

[amnestyjournals]

Im sick of all this agitation That comes from your healthy lifestyle choices And your constant patience You bend over backwards You fall to  my knees But the truth is, honey, You’re too good for me You don’t cuss and you don’t drink You think  what I think You cling to my words  Won't admit if yo're hurt No you’re much too bland Can’t be more than a friend You're too good for me

[amnestyjournals]

You took away my creative power Oh ,what a shame Because I’m happy now And I’m healthy now But I’m left craving your pain Because the words came out easier The imagery was better When my soul could bleed onto a page Now I paint suns and flowers and trees And they always look the same

[amnestyjournals]

Your should-be lover smokes grass in a matching bra and panty set at the foot of your bed. She inhales, but she would never dare smoke a cigarette because -That shit- Causes Cancer. Ironically though, she never wears sunscreen. She’s smaller than me. Not quite as smart as me. Has some sort of tragedy that she just cant get over. Something about an ex-boyfriend in a past life or something. She cries all the goddamn time, but you never mind. You let her cry on your shoulder, just an excuse to hold her. Which always leads to something a little bit more – Up your alley. Her laugh is cleaner than mine. Her chest a little less prominent than mine. But she’s real good at opening up. That’s all that matters. Right? Your should-be lover obviously paints or takes photos or both. You always compliment her, but they are not as good as yours. In fact, she doesn’t even know you own a camera. She has a one word tattoo on her left wrist Because it’s “so meaningful” You told her it was sexy That was a lie. Your should be lover casually starves herself She has lips that smile and hips that fit perfectly into the grooves of your crotch And you are so happy because that’s only happened once before She looks at vogue with the devotion of a high school drop out Between sips of skinny girl vodka which she drinks “for the taste” She wears red to prove she’s worth something And eyeliner to hide her soul And you probably think it’s a little much But you don’t tell her Your should be lover hates lana del rey and you’re so grateful because now she can’t remind you of me. She complains about the plain white sheets,  I always thought looked just like you. She gets annoyed when you talk about music for more than fifteen minutes She thinks you’re out of control because you refuse to hold her hair back for the fifth time that weekend. Yet you remain so satisfied Because the empty space in your plain white bed is finally filled with something besides silence Distracting your thoughts from solving the mystery of what we were. So while she is talking about caviar the way I talk about books You blank your mind and focus on her lips Hoping that their constant movement will convince you that She is so much better.

[amnestyjournals]

New hearts never lie They tumble down and then they cry Stitch themselves back together Old hearts lie because they know better New hearts freely speak Words from caverns hidden deep Until too much has been given up Old hearts’ caverns on a lock New hearts easily rejoice Chasing fireflies and silly boys Thinking the light will last forever Old hearts know flowers wither

[amnestyjournals]

Release me from your understanding

I do not fit here anymore

My puzzle piece is painted black

You have a huge issue with that

I know

Let me run free and laugh and be happy

And maybe my freedom will leave me running back to you

Your constraints and your arguments

Make me want to shut you out again

And I am sick of you knocking down my door

Your dollhouse was all set, family pictures made

You were a little premature

Photoshop me out

My dreams are different now

I’ll send you post cards

when I remember to miss you

[amnestyjournals]

i think about it often what we couldve been we couldve been in love if one of us would just pretend You tasted like apologies And you made me feel like sin You were great at ignoring me And I was great at giving in You liked your eyes quite hazy I like my very clear You were so close to owning me But I pulled back when you got too near We sipped each others vessels I accidently spilled my cup You became so much less interesting When I stopped hiccing-up

[amnestyjournals]

someone asked me to describe falling in love you with you I laughed That’s exactly what it was Laughter Over and over and over again

[amnestyjournals]

Today for the first time, I woke up before you. It was awful. Immediately, I wanted to awaken you. I watched as you slept and prayed your exhale would call me beautiful and your inhale would kiss me. Instead you lied there motionless. What incredible patience you have for watching me sleep. When I sleep what do you see? Do you see my dreams? Because you are in all of them. Maybe that’s why I am so bad at watching you sleep. You never dream.

k

[amnestyjournals]

There goes my old best friend with his new honey bee I think she’s kinda cute but she doesn’t like me She has straight blonde hair that matches his composure She’ll be there in a heartbeat when he says come over She’s a short little game played a bit too long She hates it when he leaves bed at the crack of dawn And when I asked him why he liked her He told me she was nice

l

[amnestyjournals]

You bought your angel wings To match your devil eyes I didn’t want to let you in But you asked, and I connived You loved me for forever You held me for a day Ask your adoring fans about me Tell me, what do they all say? “you’re too good for her In your vineyard vines pastel She would probably be a freak in bed if she wasn’t scared of hell. She’d thank you on her knees For giving her the chance To be a supporting player In your self-fulfilling dance.” Luck you, pretty boy Rumors don’t scare me The truth is too cliché, the lies will set you free I’ll deny until I die And to be safe, I’ll cut your tongue It’s you that had the devil eyes But it’s me that had the gun

l

[amnestyjournals]

you and your new girl are dancing in your bedroom next door while I’m cleaning up mistakes off of your bathroom floor you’re pretending that you’re hiding secrets I’ve never seen but when she begins to cry you’ll be running to me apologies don’t count if they are a year too late apologies don’t count if there is nothing to save desperate little dinners turn to “I want you” desperate little dinners turn to nothing to lose whisper at me while I’m blow drying my hair we will maintain our friendship on pretexts no longer there you in the shadow of my light and its glorious shine we’ve had a couple things in common but it wasn’t our minds we’re on the same page of two different books we would probably be in love if it wasn’t for you without monotonous way of life with only one goal in mind “how do I increase the hours I spend with blood lining my eyes?” this all comes down to me just being not enough this all comes down to you just being not what I want we were a cute little thing but it’s over now just remember when she leaves, I’ll still be hanging around

[amnestyjournals]

On the thirteenth day of the eleventh month a black cat walked under a ladder and told me my heart was about to be shattered. So I opened an umbrella inside and it broke a mirror and I mounted my heart on a golden platter and marched it right up to the corner of annoyance and desperation and waited for someone to take my heart and do with it what they pleased. Because as everyone else was either falling into love or tumbling out of it, I was lost somewhere in the algorithm, unwanted and forgotten. Watching as ‘I love yous’ are  sung and tears are poured out, maintaining an emotional equilibrium so stable, it could have only originated from uninvolvement. I waited and waited and no one came. So I dropped my heart and it shattered. And I laughed and walked away.

k

[amnestyjournals]

dragons dance across the sky boy spots vodka in her eyes spews a couple compliments leads her into  apartments drink your water, hurry up sober up so we can fuck silly boy, you don’t know you just brought a virgin home

k

[amnestyjournals]

She looked at me and she said “I fell in love with heroin Soul alive but eyes like death He calls me into his warm, sweet bed He doesn’t care where I’ve been He calms me down and holds my head He calls me pretty in his arms Swears to God he’ll do no harm Late at night when he’s long gone He plays within me a pleading song Melodies that can’t be cut loose He promises he speaks the truth Sunday mornings at half past ten I lock myself in the bathroom with a bible in my hand I scream my prayers and hold my breath and I fall in love with heroin.”

k

[amnestyjournals]

Remember that girl with the sea in her eyes, With the sky on her face And a trick in her smile The girl who said one plus none equaled infinity Though people begged to be within her proximity The one who desired to dance with thunder and lightening Who refuse to do anything short of exciting The girl whose name was the most captivating  sound Well she has a boyfriend now