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ojovivo
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
bliss lane
tumblr dot com
$LAYYYTER
Misplaced Lens Cap
EXPECTATIONS
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
izzy's playlists!
blake kathryn
Not today Justin
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Keni
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Andulka
★
shark vs the universe
almost home
seen from Belgium
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seen from Canada
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seen from Türkiye
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@amphibianamerican
“Kermit, has vous forgotten that moi also likes sprinkles?”
“I didn’t forget. I just thought Reese Witherspoon needed them more. She deserves a warm welcome, Piggy, which…just so happens to include cupcakes. I s’pose you could still have one--”
“Oh, you got a car too? Man, you’re doin’ better then I am.” Dook said rather sadly before realizing he was still sort of in the street. The dog hopped onto the sidewalk and turned to look back at Kermit. “My name’s Dook LaRue, retired drummer from an old rock band.”
“Hey, listen, I don’t mean to brag. I like my bike better, anyhow...given it’s not too hot to be out riding it.“
Feeling uncomfortable being so near to the street, he pulled the bike up onto the curb.
“I’m Kermit, by the way--a drummer, huh? I gotta say, you’re the first retired one I’ve met, Mr. LaRue. I’d think it wasn’t even possible!”
“Well gee man-frog I didn’t see you there.” A dog in a plaid shirt, pants and a gold chain stood a few inches away from the bike Kermit was riding. “I’m a bit lost you see…and I have no idea where I am.” The dog paused. “Why are you on a bike anyway?”
The frog slowly tipped over to the left, placing a flipper down to steady himself. “Uh-huh. Well, that’s alright! If you don’t know where you are, then y’sure wouldn’t know where you’re going.” he trailed off, then looked between his bike and the stranger. “Oh, my car’s in the shop.”
“Did you at least bring the cupcakes?”
“Oh, sure. But these aren’t for the crew–I thought our guest tonight might appreciate them.” he adjusted his face in a way that suggested a bit of smugness.
“She likes sprinkles.”
kissykissymisspiggy:
“Don’t worry about them. They’re just jealous that they don’t have someone as wonderful as moi to call their own.”
“Uhhh, well...that might be mostly true. Maybe. I don’t know if...that’s exactly the impression they’re giving off, but sure.”
kissykissymisspiggy:
She gave the frog a kiss and said, “Of course I do, dear.”
“Oh, good. But don’t tell the guys...they’d tease me about it.”
My attempt at the BreadStick meme
queenmuppet:
Me on a date: So, do you like Fraggle Rock?
Them: Fraggle What?
Me, Shoving Doozer Sticks into purse: I have to go back to the rock immediately
kissykissymisspiggy:
“Oh, Kermie!” she cried, grabbing both the frog and the flowers. “How romantic of vous to think of moi like that!”
“Now...wait just a minute, there. I-I-I didn’t say they were from me, did I? Maybe somebody just thought...that uh, that you should have flowers.”
Suspiciously, he mumbles something before adding, “D’you like ‘em?”
milksteaker:
“KERMIT THE FROG, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I NEED GLUE RIGHT NOW! right now, as in at this very SECOND. i need to inhale it or else my– the– the high i’m feeling right now will just sink, man! it’s not slang for anything! it’s like, y’know, glue-glue that sticks to things to other things! like pizzas to walls?
i swear to fucking god, dude, i’m going to flip if i don’t GET MY FUCKING GLUE!”
Kermit is silent for a very long time. At this point, he figures any sudden movements could cost him his life.
“Oh, glue! I thought you said...uh, shoe. You’re absolutely right, sir, in fact--I could get you some of that stuff immediately. Mm-hm. Now listen, if you let me use your cell phone, I’ll call up my glue dealer.”
He’s calling the police.
Once she came into view, he hurriedly cleared his throat before calling out her name, which cracked and didn’t carry far.
“Miss Piggy? Somebody left flowers at the back door--I’ve got ‘em right here--and they had your name on them. It doesn’t say who they’re from or...or anything like that, not that I really looked, that is. But, there wasn’t.”
“oh– fuck. whoa, are you .. kermit? like THE kermit the frog? holy shit. buh–uh….. aaaactually, i don’t really have to glue things, per se. i-.. i just need GLUE, dude.”
“I am, I am. Hi-ho there, sir, nice to meet you–but, uh.
Just the glue, huh? Are you some sort of pawn enthusiast? Or are you broke...hungry, or anything like that? You don’t need to solicit craft supplies--unless, well. This had better not be some sort of new slang for something.”
open.
“hey, uh– y’got any GLUE?”
“Ah, gee...not exactly. I’ve being trying to stop using the stuff completely--I’ve got horses on staff, and there’s been talk about an Equestrian Union, and...well... If you’re not opposed to the idea, I could probably get you a nail gun or...a waxing kit, or something like that.”
“Hey, hi there! Excuse me!”
“I know I’m green and all, but running out in front of a bike like that is going to have us both on red. Red as in stopped, y’see--as in falling on the ground.”
“You’re quite right, dear. The part about moi looking fine all the time, I mean.”
“…and that’s only because I put effort into moi’s appearance!”
“Yeah?”
“D’you put effort into being late all the time, too, or is that just a perk?”
It doesn’t really matter who you are, or where you came from. All he knows is that you have his Bailey And he wants it back.
There was definitely something moving in the water. It was probably another abandoned whiskey bottle, he rationalized, like the one from earlier that had floated over and spooked him. “Darn kids...I really wish they’d pick up after themselves.”
“You can’t rush perfection, Kermie!”
“Y’sure you can’t try?”
“No, but, you look fine all the time. It shouldn’t take you this long to get ready-- and it’s not even exactly that I’m trying to compliment you-- it’s that I can’t show up fashionably late with you. I’m not fashionable... I’m not wearing anything at all.”
