Amelia watched as Amos tried hiding behind very intentional motions. He was trying to hold himself together. She hated that they were in a place where they both felt they had to put up a facade. It hurt. She didn’t come there to hurt, but realistically, Amelia should have known things weren’t going to be the way they were when they were together – even before they were together. It was new territory for them to be in the same room and unable to lower their shoulders, struggling to keep eye contact minimal, changing their body language and fighting the thick air filling the room.
Her eyes were wide and her mind full. They always joked about her being so many years older than him, but she found herself wishing she’d been younger. If she’d been younger they would have had more time together at Hogwarts. Amelia had many wishes. She once thought they were it. Letting him go was the hardest thing she’d been through. She loved people, she’d had previous boyfriends and boyfriends since, but there was always something off. Amelia didn’t connect with anyone well enough to keep the relationship going. But the man before her was different. Or had been different.
With doe eyes, Amelia watched Amos making the decision to walk toward her. She didn’t expect him to give in. He had appeared to not want to budge from his desk so his movement was unexpected. So unexpected Amelia caught air in her throat. She looked down, clearing her throat. Before she knew it, she felt Amos’ familiar hand. Amelia looked up as he brushed her hair. Her heart was racing. That feeling – whatever it was – was something she didn’t know she missed. A hug? If she could barely handle him moving a hair, could she handle a hug? It’s a hug, Amelia. Everyone could use one right now.
She couldn’t say no to his outstretched arms. Her mind was spinning but the moment she placed her face against his chest, she couldn’t squeeze him hard enough. Amelia never wanted to let go. His scent was intoxicating despite the fact that it was masked with terror from Diagon Ally. She could still smell the Amos she knew and loved. An enormous sense of relief washed over her. Amelia’s muscles loosened. The only thing holding her up was Amos.
Amelia, not letting him go, looked up at Amos with tears brimming her eyes. “Amos, I – “ she paused and whispered softly, “thank you.” The thank you was multifaceted but she didn’t know what to say beyond that. At least not then.
In his life, Amos had very few weaknesses, nor did he have any addictions. He’d managed to never smoke a cigarette in his life, enjoyed a drink, but only on special occasions and frankly, he just wouldn’t the time to try something as ridiculous as a drug. But he had been addicted to Amelia, from the very moment that his eyes had set on her for the first time. The worst thing about it all, for him was that he knew in his heart that he wanted to marry her, he had known it when he was eleven and a naive little first year, when she had been nearing seventeen and a very grown up sixth year. He had known it when he was fifteen, he had known it when they kissed for the first time, and he definitely knew it when they were together. And that very fact had started to scare him, he never meant to hurt her, never Amelia. not her.. That had never been his intention. And as she stood infront of him, he just could not deny her a hug. Those eyes. He knew those eyes and he knew as he had been looking into them that she needed one as much as he did. He knew it would not be anything close to a good idea to ever tell her that he had regretted his decision, almost instantaneously, on the morning after in fact. But telling her that would have only messed her around more, and hurt her further. But it was over, he had ruined it, and usually he couldn’t bring himself to maintain eye contact with Amelia, let alone hug her. But these were not ordinary circumstances.
“Never thank me.” Amos murmured softly, closing his eyes as he allowed himself to take in the scent of the one person he had ever truly loved. On the first morning that he had awoken without Amelia, Amos thought his heart could not break more than it did on that morning, but this was a close second. It took everything he had to not surrender to crying. Swallowing the lump in his chest, he squeezed Amelia in his hold.
“It’s going to be alright, I promise.” He managed a smile, which was evident in the tone of his voice as he spoke.