amygracejennings

[amygracejennings]

I found this funnier that I probably should have. #buzzfeed #spidervan

[advicefromasupervillain]

I'm cheating on my wife and the woman I'm cheating with is beginning to feel guilty as she has just got engaged herself. When I say I'm cheating I have not had sex with the other woman we have just been fooling around. I do love my wife but I'm not in love with her. The other woman gets me, we have so much more in common and make each other laugh. How do I comfort the other woman as i think I'm falling in love with her? Do I tell her or just take what I can get or end it and try and move on?

Leave your wife; you don’t deserve her, and freeing her will give her the opportunity to find someone who does. Feel free to tell your girlfriend you’re falling in love with her; you deserve to have your heart broken by someone. Then go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done like the selfish child you are.

[straightwhiteboystexting]

You know, I think this is revolutionary, because it's always women and POC who are the butt of jokes. People mock foreign accents (especially of Latin@ & Asian people), and stereotype "gay" mannerisms, and treat men dressing up as women as demeaning and hilarious. So we're all used to being mocked, but when we make a joke of straight white boy stereotypes on ONE blog, they show up with rage and rape threats. Telling. Could you imagine if women & POC did that at every misogynist or racist joke?

^^^^^^^^^ this

[saber-toothed-kittens]

[fragileheartxxx]

[catsdogsgifs]

More GIFs: http://catsdogsblog.tumblr.com

[heyinstalaugh]

[realitytvshow]

[saudi25me]

[catsdogsgifs]

More GIFs: http://catsdogsblog.tumblr.com

[catsdogsgifs]

More GIFs : http://catsdogsblog.tumblr.com

[gifson-net]

Quando alguém entra na frente da tv

[yrbff]

haters gonna hate 

[buzzfeed]

live your best life

[dixcnnected]

Reblog if you are insecure about anything below:

-weight

-appearance

-intelligence (or lack of) 

-skills (or lack of) 

-weird hobbies

-friends (or lack of) 

-body

-personality

-family

Who ever reblogs this will get a message in their inbox.

[best-of-memes]

[zacharyalllen]

just watch it.

[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[skrillcholas-cage]

oh my god these are great

[princemetalthunder]

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes