In September of 1997 my brother’s English teacher, Mrs. Blackmore, told her class that she had found two kittens on the side of the road by our school. She would keep one but the other needed a home. Jim decided that he wanted a kitten and told our parents about this kitten that was spayed, declawed and had all her shots already. Despite already having two dogs my parents agreed to add a cat to our family. One day after school Jim, my dad and I all piled into my dad’s ford ranger and went to Mrs. Blackmore’s house. My dad soon found out that this kitten he had told his kids they could have was not spayed or vaccinated. She also still had claws and proceeded to demonstrate how sharp they were all over his arms. Still, my dad let us have her and brought home Tess that day.
When Tess was young she was pretty shy and loved to find new and exciting places to hide…. The top of a huge armoir, curled around the base of a big ficus tree, behind my dad’s hung up work clothes and in the sink or shower in an unused bathroom were some of her favorites. We went out of town once and the lady that came over to feed her didn’t see her until the last day. Tess looking down at her from the armoir (probably with disdain)
Tess escaped the house one time and worried the hell out of us until we realized she went under the house. Every other time she escaped she would do the same thing.
She also decided that a big planter full of wood chips in the living room was a litter box and pooped in it for weeks until my mom figured out where the smell was.
Tess was shy but she played with our dog, Jack, like he was another cat. Once we got Spike Tess became relegated to the upstairs because Spike wouldn’t stop eating out of her litter box (also mom was still mad about the giant planter full of cat turds)
I still feel bad that Tess lived only in the upstairs of my parents’ house for so long but she did like being away from our four dogs. She liked looking out the windows and laying in the sun. She routinely drank out of the toilet even though she had a bowl of water available.
Tess wasn’t a fan of Scratchy when i got her in 2005 but they mostly got along. Sometimes I would find them on their window seat together or sleeping next to each other.
Once Penny arrived the territorial rage peeing started and basically continued until we all moved out of my parents’ house and in with Nick.
I know Nick wasn’t excited about living with three cats but I quickly converted him. Tess finally got to go outside at our new house. She spent lots of time eating grass or laying in the sun. The first winter we were there she refused to come inside even when it was cold so I had to make her a little house out of a patio table, cardboard, beach towels and a heating pad.
Tess stuck mostly to the back bedroom with the cat door (especially after the arrival of Stephen) but she would venture out from time to time to sleep on clean laundry or come up on the couch and rub her face all over our faces. Sometimes she would burrow under the covers or tunnel under a folded blanket on the bed like a little cat fajita.
When we moved to Decatur Tess almost immediately managed to get on top of an air duct in the basement. Tess for some reason became extremely affectionate when we moved. Mostly she fell in love with Nick and wanted to be on his lap all the time but she also liked to hang out with me after I worked out and bite my hair. She also started peeing on our couch. Often. We had a protocol where when covered it with pee pads and boxes so she couldn’t get on it.
In July 2016 I took her to the vet and was told she was in stage 2/3 of kidney disease. In about 2009 our old vet had said she was in the extremely early stages of kidney disease. Tess started eating prescription CKD food.
In October of 2016 Tess couldn’t walk straight one morning. We rushed her to the emergency vet and found out she had suffered what we and her vets assume was a stroke brought on from high blood pressure resulting from hyperthyroidism that resulted from CKD. We thought it was the end but Tess pulled through and for the first time in her life started eating wet food. We bought a rug for the hallway to help her get traction when she walked
Then she declined again. She lost weight, wouldn’t eat. Again, I thought this was the end. I took her to the vet and she almost immediately diagnosed her as being full of poop. Just really constipated from dehydration. She got subcutaneous fluids and miralax and bounced back.
We started giving her fluids a few times a week. I spent hours researching CKD.
Tess got a UTI. Took her to the vet and got antibiotics and she got better. She had another blood test and her kidney values were down so she got more fluids more often. We called her Toose or Toose Boose. So we called her fluids Toose juice.
In early December she had another stroke. We took her to the vet and found out she was not able to process the amount of fluids her kidneys needed. She had fluid built up around her lungs and heart. The fluid around her lungs was drained. Again, we thought this was the end. We took her home and within days she was better. The vet was surprised and pleased at how well she was doing. We went to Charleston for Christmas and Tess started a bedtime ritual of rubbing her face all over Nick’s face, licking his lips, sniffing and licking his eyes and ears.
By now she was taking felimazole for her thyroid, amlodipine for blood pressure, cerenia for nausea, mirtazipine for appetite stimulation, fluids every day, furosemide to keep fluid from building up, B12 subcutaneously every other week, and aluminum hydroxide phosphorous binder. I counted and recorded her resting respiration rate every day to monitor any fluid build up around her lungs. She was eating prescription food with the lowest phosphorus level possible. I downloaded an app to keep up with all her medications.
Tess was doing well, all things considering. She would go to Nick’s room almost every night for his ‘eye exam’. If he tried to close his eyes she would sometimes try to pry them open with a paw. Afterwards she would come to my room to sleep on her heating pad. I put Penny’s food container and a chair close to my bed so she would have something to jump up on. Nick used a small amp by his bed. We called them “Toose Boosts”
A little over a week ago Tess started eating less. I took her in for her monthly blood, urine and blood pressure test and our vet recommended I give her the appetite stimulant every day instead of every other day. We had to come back in a few days to check her blood pressure because it was extremely high the first time. On second check it was fine. Her blood work and urine results were not good though. Her phosphorous levels and other kidney value had taken a nose dive. there was blood in her urine. She was now in stage 4 of CKD.
We increased her phosphorous binder and fluids and decreased her furosemide and started antibiotics in case she had another UTI.
Tess’s lack of appetite was due to nausea from too much stomach acid as a result of the high phosphorous level
Tess went from eating a little bit less to eating only her food in the morning and a little at night to eating only food in the morning to eating only pill pockets. She didn’t want to leave her heating pad and hang out with us. I did more reading about CKD and sent about 8 emails to our vet that she patiently answered
I tried giving her different wet foods and sprinkling treats on her food and she would just smack her lips (a sign of nausea) and turn away. I had to start syringe feeding her because she wouldn’t eat anything more than a few licks of food on her own.
She was down from 5 lbs 2 oz to 4 lbs 8oz. I know because I bought a baby scale on eBay months ago to keep an eye on her weight
I called the vet and got extra smelly urgent care prescription food. She ate a little on her own and then snubbed it. I syringe fed her four times a day. The phosphorus binder should have decreased her levels by now but it didn’t. She gained a little weight but it was only because I was force feeding her
Tess stopped eating pill pockets. I got Pepcid and ground it up with her other pills and mixed them with food in the syringe
Tess would eat a little bit right after she got her anti nausea medicine and she would eat her dehydrated chicken treats sometimes. The appetite stimulant and anti-nausea and anti acid couldnt compete with her CKD though. This all happened in about a week.
Tess didn’t want to be held or snuggle with us. I would try to bring her into the living room to be with us and she would go back to her little corner in the bedroom the first chance she got She slept on her heating pad in a position that didn’t even look comfortable and only got up to drink massive amounts of water and pee. She walked hunched up, her back legs barely supporting her and slipping as she walked. She had to stop and take a break in the hallway on her way from the water dish to her bed.
Nick and I spent a lot of time laying on the floor telling her how much we loved her and what a good kitty she was. I rubbed my face on her face. Sometimes she would seem content
I did a lot of reading about end stage renal disease and Tess basically fit the bill. I read about how she could pass away peacefully in her sleep. I read about she could drown from fluid build up, develop fatty liver from not enough food, she could have another stroke. She could die alone and in pain. Every time I checked on her I looked for the rise and fall of her breathing.
Nick and I had the conversation we had been dreading.
At almost 20 years old Tess no longer had any quality of life. She loved being with us and eating and she was no longer able to do that. Our vet told us that if she was going to improve she would have improved already. As poorly as she was doing now she would only continue to get worse. I could go on syringe feeding her and she could hang on for another week but that would be for us not her. We couldn’t stand the thought of her being in pain or not being with her when she passed.
Yesterday, April 1, Tess felt well enough to eat some treats and we took her outside and she lay in the sun and sniffed things and rubbed her cheeks on them. When I would try to pet her she moved away from me. At 1.30 we took her to the vet’s office. We kissed her little face and told her we loved her and she went to kitty heaven. It was awful. It was heartbreaking and terrible but she wasn’t in any pain and she was with the two people that love her the most. She lived a long long life and we spoiled her. She lived like a little queen.
We got home and I started to make us some scrambled eggs because we were both exhausted and hungry. I put a pat of butter in the hot pan and started whisking the eggs. When I turned back the pan the butter had melted in to the shape of a cat. Tess loved licking anything greasy off our plates so Nick and I took that as a sign from her.
I meant to type out something brief for Facebook about how sweet and funny Tess was and how much I loved her but this turned into a complete history of Tess. I guess I needed to write it down to appreciate how much she had been through both in her entire life and medically in the last 6 months. I needed to remember how hard she fought and how much we did for her. I needed to reassure myself that we did the right thing letting her go before her health got really bad. Tess was tough, brave cat.
Tess definitely frustrated me sometimes by peeing on everything i held dear but looking back that seems so unimportant. Every time someone new met Tess they thought she was kitten becuse of how small she was. Vet techs always fawned over her and gushed about how pretty she was. Her eyes were so big we joked she was half owl. Her breath was really astoundingly awful but Nick never stopped her from sniffing his entire face and head. The markings by her nose gave her almost constant bitchy resting face even though her personality was the opposite of that. We made up endless songs, nicknames and personal jokes about her. Toose. Toose Boose. Toosica Boosica. Tiny Toose. Tiny Tess. Tiny Tess Toast. Toose Boose drinks juice while riding a moose. It goes on and on. The voice we made her “speak” in sounds like a sassy Latina for some reason. We could not have loved her more and we miss her like crazy.
Almost 20 years is a long time to have a pet but it still doesn’t seem long enough.
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