Ana is only my name

nook of my obsessions

[an-ishka]

SLAY (bitch) ERA

I have diaz and cash in my suitcase; the desire to touch everything that hangs around at the totos.

If no news it’s because I like it, or that I left crush my little hyperactive heart 💫

[an-ishka]

« locking » my shell as wy autorisation to live, I have to make this time in my planner, this is really important.

[an-ishka]

Hospitalisation at home day 2 or 3

I already don’t know at this point

The process of eating enough is overwhelming

I am my own enemy

I’m breaking the circle

I continually need to rest but can’t manage not to ride EVERY NIGHT

Music

Music

Music

My roommate and I are 15 again

I crave for affection.

[an-ishka]

Things I wanna do with Nicolas this weekend

Make homemade bagels filled with “coco-cumber” and my marinated seaweed, lemon carotts

Go the the 3rd anniversary of K way DJ set

Dobble longboard date with Maddie and Jonas

Get either comics or vinyls

Prepare for festivals and stick posters

Silly leftists games

[an-ishka]

Sobriety rewards

Pick one when each time you resisted drinking !!!

The marias vinyls

Dominic fike vinyls

New everyday Jean

Bocals

New comfy jogging

Gokinjjo

Ange perdu

Any Spain related book

Nail polish if you manage to get them grow !!!

[an-ishka]

Clean me from the inside Plan

Heyyyyyyyy !!! I failed at staying sober again !!!!

Like : I really wanna CLEAR my body from alcohol but I fucking can’t more than one mounth so

Let’s ask mslf why , hypothesis :

I need to release pressure (I can replace with diazepam)

I need energy to party (food ??? Coffee ??)

I wanna fit in ? (Don’t and go or pretend to drink ? ) get a lemo

I wanna be related and romantic around people and fade in daydrams (focus on music, them like their eyes) and loose yourself in inner peaceful unleash chaos

Solutions Ideas :

During parties, think about my meals as real meals, like plate carbs, proteins and vitals fibers in ONE PLATE + fantasy non alcoholic drink

Before eating or failing out of contrôle, take a moment off to go and walk to think about what you are doing and breath

Roimanticise sobriety : find your inspos. Samples : can Louis CZNV, Djulzz, meicrosoft , mushrine, and I m gonna find other I need them. I maybe need a sporty moodboard I guess

Remember everythime you wanna stay skinny with clearskin

[an-ishka]

Time is very much needed to enjoy and appreciate what I already built with you

Chase is over 🤍

[an-ishka]

What’s the whole point pf being sober if I’m already dying ??? Wait y I’m not, but overwhelmed ? See you if still alive ! Gotta draw comics and stuff (Bestie we do our best, let’s EAT this fucking life !!!!

[an-ishka]

About girls and all yeah we like it

[an-ishka]

I’m such a piece of shit like wtf I was ready for 25 andon the first day I don’t eat, and go wild on meds, alco*ol and ciggs ?? Why ???

[an-ishka]

BD wishlist

Special Dérive Notebook !

Ring for my hears

Wearable shoes …

Sox

Lingerie (custard or almond green)

Pillow

[an-ishka]

Laundry: done

Hair : washed and cut

Bread: fresh from the oven

Sport: muscle burning, heart beating

Cleaning: done

Stomac: filled

Dérive: Signed !!!!

I think I’m ready to go 25

[an-ishka]

I love my girl

Thank god for putting you on my way, thank you for being such a lovely soul I just can’t believe a person with such a pure heart is actually interested in me.

I know you would hate hearing this, but I wanna get better for you. You, my girl, are so impressive, inspiring. I wanna give you the treatment you deserve and you deserve the best. Thank you for taking care of me.

By the way you are so seducing I can’t believe it.

Sometimes I daydream about the two of us opening our bakery and this makes me smile 🍞💖🍓

[an-ishka]

It’s hard

I don’t get what I fckng feeli can’t wait to see my bf again b

[honeyyymmoon]

[lovewanttimetopause]

[honeyyymmoon]