hi! Jamie c anon back again. I loved your response 💖 and I have some more ideas:
After the failed dinner where phoebe told roy that jamie t was sad, roy asks beard and nate if they've noticed jamie t being sad and they just sort of look at each other and ask if maybe this is one for the diamond dogs. so the dogs are called and even ted all the way in kansas knows about what's been going on and roy just can't figure out why it's such a big deal that he has a new friend. the diamond dogs are suitably incredulous at Roy's obliviousness (everyone with eyes and a brain cell can see what is happening)
Then maybe they have a few days off from training/matches but jamie c is away so roy decides to spend some time with his good friend jamie tartt! except when he goes to jamie (t)'s house, he isn't there. roy calls and texts him but he doesn't reply and he ends up having to ask one of the lads (maybe sam or dani) who tell roy that jamie is in manchester visiting his mum. they're suprised that roy didn't know because jamie has been excited about this trip for weeks and has mentioned it loads and roy genuinely can't remember hearing about it a single time. so roy gets off the phone with sam/dani and he's sat on jamie t's doorstep and has an 'oh, this is what it feels like' moment.
jamie t, up in manchester, sees that roy has texted and tried to call him and then he gets a text from sam/dani telling him about their conversation with roy and jamie isn't even surprised that roy didn't know. after the dinner with roy and phoebe, jamie has sort of just resigned himself to not being an important part of roy's life anymore and he hasn't really tried to talk to roy outside of work and roy just...hasn't noticed.
having gone back to his jamie-less (c or t) house, roy is forced to spend time alone and it forces him to confront the fact that he's /lost/ something. he's going through his fridge to grab something for lunch and there's (nutritionally approved) snacks in there that he bought for jamie t but they're weeks out of date - usually he can't restock fast enough, they're jamie t's favourite. he catches sight of the kunt jersey from uncle's day and something in his chest clenches tight and won't release. he puts on a show on tv and thinks up a joke he'd tell jamie t (based on an inside joke between them, no one else would get it) but jamie isn't there. roy realises he /misses/ jamie t so much it hurts and he doesn't understand how he didn't realise how silent his house was.
It all comes to a head a few days later when they're all back at the club. Roy drags jamie t into the boot room and (he isn't really sure how it happens) but jamie is having another breakdown. This is when it really hits roy, though, because unlike every time before jamie doesn't reach for him, doesn't cling to him or cry into his neck, he just curls into himself and roy has never seen jamie t look so small.
(will lets out a few sobs in solidarity with jamie but neither he nor roy notice him crouched by the washing machine)
anon! your back 🤍 this hurts my heart so much! i love it 😭💓 yes! yes! yes! to it all. there’s something so heartbreaking about jamie not seeking comfort from roy! i just know it would hurt roy just as much as it’s hurting me haha.
@fanficfanattic left this amazing comment on the last reply, which im canonising in this universe and i recon you’ll agree! to quote it:
jamie c says to roy “you know when we started hanging out you kept telling me all about what The Prick said to make you laugh. And everything reminded you of something Tartt!™ had recently done.
When you stopped doing that, I thought maybe you’d done it in purpose. Like you thought I was annoyed by it. I didn’t realize it was because you just /stopped/ spending any time with him at all outside of work.”
Roy’s single emotion at a time crashes into what he now assumes is his only singular brain cell because no he did not do that on purpose and actually cannot think of the last Not Work thing he’d done with Tartt before the disaster dinner. In a long while. Too long.
(chefs kiss 🙂↕️ all credit rightfully to @fanficfanattic!)
im imagining after this conversation/ realisation roy decides he needs to show jamie he still cares about him. so he amps up his acts of service (let’s be real roy’s love language is definitely acts of service mixed with quality time!)
step one: start bringing jamie the ‘disgustingly sweet monstrosity’ he calls coffee before work, to remind him that roy cares. (it only hurts a little when the barista looks surprised to see roy, “i thought you and your boyfriend broke up…” roy grunts and doesn’t correct them.)
step two: make sure jamie’s warm by remembering to bring the extra jumper he use to carry around for jamie. (“my upstairs gets cold but my downstairs gets hot”). turns out jamie’s taken to bring his own since roy’s stopped being readily available (jamie’s new jumper isn’t as warm or have the perfect pockets for wrapping his hands in.) jamie still declines.
step three: positive reinforcement and check ins! because as much as roy’s uncomfortable giving out compliments jamie thrives off them! he needs to be called a good boy as much as he needs food to survive.
all this attention after being neglected leads to the boot room confrontation mentioned above! jamie’s confused, hurt and pissed off that roy ’suddenly cares’.
imagine jamie curled up twisting his hands in the bottom of his shirt, taking them out every so often to flap them, but decidedly not opening up to roy. both waiting each other out. after too long, roy decides, fuck it, he’s going to initiate a hug! he knows jamie is a tactile person, has seen first hand how touch soothes jamie. (eg. in manchester with georgie and roy himself in the very room they’re standing in!)
but this time when roy reaches for him, jamie flinches away, reacting as if he’s been burnt.
“fuck off you hairy fucking has-been!”jamie roars. “what the fuck do you want from me” there’s a quiet gasp from behind the washing machine, but neither of them hear it. “you’re not fucking ted! so stop with this, i care, bullshit! you’re a shit gaffer, who was chosen because no one trusts nate!” roy’s stomach plummets. jamie’s just recited almost every insecurity roy’s had since being promoted. the same fears jamie told him were bullshit a month ago.
roy stares at him silently. when jamie’s hurt, his words cut to kill. how could he have left it get to this point, somethings really wrong if jamie’s lashing out like this.
roy knows he doesn’t mean it but fuck if it doesn’t hurt to hear. he doesn’t know what to say so he remains silent.
“fucking say something! yell at me! fucking throw something at me! just stop sta—” jamie breaks off into a sob, curling into himself. he grabs a fist full of his hair.
“FUCK! i… i didn’t mean that sorry. fuck! please! im sorry— im fine.” jamie is wailing now. his hands scrubbing roughly at the tears running down his face. roy wants to hold his hands before he tears his skin off.
“i don’t know what’s wrong with me”. jamie is choking on his sobs, gasping as he tries to hold back his cries. it’s not working. fuck it’s bad. his face is blotchy and roy’s beginning to worry that he’ll make himself throw up.
“jamie, you need to breathe” roy doesn’t reach for him. he wants to. “come on, you can do it, just take a deep breath.”
jamie can’t focus, he’s not listening.
“oi tartt, fucking breathe!” the response is instantaneous. “okay, good! that’s it breathe.” roy takes a step forward but jamie takes one back. roy’s chest aches but this isn’t about him. “it’s okay, ill stay here but i need you to sit down down… perfect, good! we’re going sit here quietly and breathe until you’re ready.”
they sit there for god knows how long, roy sneaking glances at jamie every so often.
eventually jamie gets up, swaying ever so slightly before turning towards roy. here it is! jamie’s going to tell roy what’s wrong, so he can fix it… “thanks, coach” jamie mumbles before walking out.
roy’s eyes burn. “will?” he croaks. waiting for the kitman to appear. will just nods wiping at his eyes before shuffling out of the boot room.
once the coast is clear, roy’s tears fall silently.
i think i word vomited again, sorry guys hahaha! now i just need comfort ideas after all this angst 🤣💓
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