not a porn blog

hi we're all kinda lame but we can be funny sometimes i swear

[uncombined]

wanting a thigh gap like

[juuliaroberts]

That look ur mom gives u when u embarrass her in public but she can’t kill u yet

[pitchblackgo]

I got 20 chicken nuggets 10 for me and 10 for me

[humancum]

rules of money:

never use your own

[starredforest-deactivated201601]

trying to figure out someone else’s shower

[pau1y]

trying to put my bedsheets on by myself is like wrestling with satan

[capacity]

*is a wreck*

*gives ppl lifestyle advice*

[fluorescent]

i hate mondays, tuesdays, wednesdays, thursdays, and half of fridays. 

[feat]

I wish tumblr would have a seen by button so you could see how many of your followers ignore your posts 

[zootedboy]

if i get rich my mom gettin paid first thing

[greetings-deactivated2015-01-23]

i’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one

[whatsacanada]

how do we even decide what our favorite colors are, are our brains just like “i like green because yea”

[sofunnyimcryan]

did you hear about the italian chef who died?

[sofunnyimcryan]

he pasta way

[sofunnyimcryan]

he just ran out of thyme

[sofunnyimcryan]

here today, gone tomato

[sofunnyimcryan]

his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it

[sofunnyimcryan]

we never sausage a tragedy coming

[sofunnyimcryan]

ashes to ashes, crust to crust

[sofunnyimcryan]

there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world

[stuning-deactivated20190116]

remember when myspace and bebo were cool?

ya neither do i

[weavemunchers-deactivated201407]

my personality is 30% the last movie I watched

[sidethots]

when you see a cute guy and you’re with your pretty friend

[amorverde]

i dont need a boyfriend i need 12 million dollars and a donut