Nihil, The Final Joke

“Well well well, a visitor.”

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“Welcome, oh traveler, to my fallen house of laughs.”

(Ooc under cut.)

Hello hello hello everyone!

The owner of the Profane and Ironclad ask blogs brings you an Ancient OC!

Guidelines are just the usual, keep it in your pants, don’t be an ass, etc.

Tag Guide:

Nihilism=IC post

Laughter=OOC post

Eternity=Answer post

Deck Out=Lore

Ante Up=Interacting with slayers.

[dat-is-i]

help, my stupid son has breached his balatro containment

[ancientblogjimbojames]

Balala

[lowkeyluminary]

REBLOG IF YOU HAVE AN RP BLOG I CAN SPAM WITH ASKS

perferably WITH the blog but you guys do you

[ancientblogjimbojames]

Nihil, the final joke, I have come to you with the glasses. Please, look after them better this time. It'd be troublesome if someone managed to sneak into your voult again. *He hands the glasses to Nihil* @ask-the-servant

“Of course, thank you. I’ll be sure to put these somewhere secure.”

Tosses them in his personal void.

[askblogironclad]

Ironclad, I've been informed that you have... a cursed relic on you.As someone who is partly in charge of it, may I see it to try and free you of it? I know it can get quiet... irritating // you'd be a fool if you think He didn't try them on at least once //

@ask-the-servant

He nods, and hands Serv the Dateviators without a second of hesitation.

“Way…Defect…looked…”

[ask-the-servant]

*The Servant takes dateviators in hands and started chanting something. After a few minutes he examines the glasses again* This could do... Not sure if it worked... I'd break them to test, but my Master advised me not to try it, they want the relic to stay intact.

*With these words, Servant just decided to leave, with glasses in hands, hoping that he did break the curse and they are no longer bound to Ironclad*

[askblogironclad]

He sighs in relief, finding that the glasses haven’t appeared in his pockets, and slumps against the wall. Freedom.

One problem however.

“Sooo…what am I supposed to do?”

“…FUUUUUUUUUU-”

[the-shadowlancer]

If you could just sit veeerry still for just one second…

The Shadowlancer’s voice emanates from all of the shadows in the room. When the curse looks around, she lunges out of the shadows, attempting to Run Through the woman. Unfortunately, she phases right through her.

Dammit! I thought that would work!

She’s wearing goggles made of gold, with blue lenses. The scale-pattern carvings in the metal indicate that they were made by the Wyrmmaker.

She sinks back into the shadows and disappears.

[therunesmith]

"Oi, who's the pink one?"

Nihil had recruited Runesmith to help, and she could see Skylar just fine without googles.

[the-shadowlancer]

You can see curse spirits?!

I need you on my team immediately.

She hasn’t left the shadows. Seems she doesn’t want to be seen.

[therunesmith]

"Hell you talkin bout? That's a Machine Spirit. Here, lemme do this."

She produces an odd looking rune, and hands it to Skylar. As soon as the lady takes it, she's absorbed into the rune, which turns Lesbian Flag colors.

"Mine now."

Runesmith picks up the rune, and pockets it.

[the-shadowlancer]

What. The Fuck.

Wait don’t walk away I need that back.

[therunesmith]

"Nope! Dibs!"

She walks off, whistling a jaunty tune.

[the-shadowlancer]

Wow @ancientblogjimbojames look a new, bigger problem.

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“Hm? Oh no she’s fine. The spirit doesn’t have much power when separated from its original object.”

[dragon-artificer]

If I may input my opinion…

(How is he so stealthy?)

I believe she intends to use her power to make the spirit more powerful. What other use does she have for it?

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“Good luck with that if that is her goal. From what I remember, Skylar is basically just a guide to how the Dateviators work.”

[dragon-artificer]

So the “dateviators” power is separate entirely from the curse it functions on? How does that work?

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“The Dateviators make it so you can date objects, the curse is that you can’t get rid of them and eventually become dependent on them. Simple as.”

[askblogironclad]

Ironclad, I've been informed that you have... a cursed relic on you.As someone who is partly in charge of it, may I see it to try and free you of it? I know it can get quiet... irritating // you'd be a fool if you think He didn't try them on at least once //

@ask-the-servant

He nods, and hands Serv the Dateviators without a second of hesitation.

“Way…Defect…looked…”

[ask-the-servant]

*The Servant takes dateviators in hands and started chanting something. After a few minutes he examines the glasses again* This could do... Not sure if it worked... I'd break them to test, but my Master advised me not to try it, they want the relic to stay intact.

*With these words, Servant just decided to leave, with glasses in hands, hoping that he did break the curse and they are no longer bound to Ironclad*

[askblogironclad]

He sighs in relief, finding that the glasses haven’t appeared in his pockets, and slumps against the wall. Freedom.

One problem however.

“Sooo…what am I supposed to do?”

“…FUUUUUUUUUU-”

[the-shadowlancer]

If you could just sit veeerry still for just one second…

The Shadowlancer’s voice emanates from all of the shadows in the room. When the curse looks around, she lunges out of the shadows, attempting to Run Through the woman. Unfortunately, she phases right through her.

Dammit! I thought that would work!

She’s wearing goggles made of gold, with blue lenses. The scale-pattern carvings in the metal indicate that they were made by the Wyrmmaker.

She sinks back into the shadows and disappears.

[therunesmith]

"Oi, who's the pink one?"

Nihil had recruited Runesmith to help, and she could see Skylar just fine without googles.

[the-shadowlancer]

You can see curse spirits?!

I need you on my team immediately.

She hasn’t left the shadows. Seems she doesn’t want to be seen.

[therunesmith]

"Hell you talkin bout? That's a Machine Spirit. Here, lemme do this."

She produces an odd looking rune, and hands it to Skylar. As soon as the lady takes it, she's absorbed into the rune, which turns Lesbian Flag colors.

"Mine now."

Runesmith picks up the rune, and pockets it.

[the-shadowlancer]

What. The Fuck.

Wait don’t walk away I need that back.

[therunesmith]

"Nope! Dibs!"

She walks off, whistling a jaunty tune.

[the-shadowlancer]

Wow @ancientblogjimbojames look a new, bigger problem.

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“Hm? Oh no she’s fine. The spirit doesn’t have much power when separated from its original object.”

[dragon-artificer]

If I may input my opinion…

(How is he so stealthy?)

I believe she intends to use her power to make the spirit more powerful. What other use does she have for it?

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“Good luck with that if that is her goal. From what I remember, Skylar is basically just a guide to how the Dateviators work.”

[askblogironclad]

Ironclad, I've been informed that you have... a cursed relic on you.As someone who is partly in charge of it, may I see it to try and free you of it? I know it can get quiet... irritating // you'd be a fool if you think He didn't try them on at least once //

@ask-the-servant

He nods, and hands Serv the Dateviators without a second of hesitation.

“Way…Defect…looked…”

[ask-the-servant]

*The Servant takes dateviators in hands and started chanting something. After a few minutes he examines the glasses again* This could do... Not sure if it worked... I'd break them to test, but my Master advised me not to try it, they want the relic to stay intact.

*With these words, Servant just decided to leave, with glasses in hands, hoping that he did break the curse and they are no longer bound to Ironclad*

[askblogironclad]

He sighs in relief, finding that the glasses haven’t appeared in his pockets, and slumps against the wall. Freedom.

One problem however.

“Sooo…what am I supposed to do?”

“…FUUUUUUUUUU-”

[the-shadowlancer]

If you could just sit veeerry still for just one second…

The Shadowlancer’s voice emanates from all of the shadows in the room. When the curse looks around, she lunges out of the shadows, attempting to Run Through the woman. Unfortunately, she phases right through her.

Dammit! I thought that would work!

She’s wearing goggles made of gold, with blue lenses. The scale-pattern carvings in the metal indicate that they were made by the Wyrmmaker.

She sinks back into the shadows and disappears.

[therunesmith]

"Oi, who's the pink one?"

Nihil had recruited Runesmith to help, and she could see Skylar just fine without googles.

[the-shadowlancer]

You can see curse spirits?!

I need you on my team immediately.

She hasn’t left the shadows. Seems she doesn’t want to be seen.

[therunesmith]

"Hell you talkin bout? That's a Machine Spirit. Here, lemme do this."

She produces an odd looking rune, and hands it to Skylar. As soon as the lady takes it, she's absorbed into the rune, which turns Lesbian Flag colors.

"Mine now."

Runesmith picks up the rune, and pockets it.

[the-shadowlancer]

What. The Fuck.

Wait don’t walk away I need that back.

[therunesmith]

"Nope! Dibs!"

She walks off, whistling a jaunty tune.

[the-shadowlancer]

Wow @ancientblogjimbojames look a new, bigger problem.

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“Hm? Oh no she’s fine. The spirit doesn’t have much power when separated from its original object.”

[askblogironclad]

Oh Architect Destroy Us.

She recognizes those glasses. They’re supposed to be in Nihil’s vault. Cursed relics such as this definitely shouldn’t be wandering about in the spire.

…Clad. I need you to give me those. Right now.

@the-shadowlancer

“Can’t. Bound…to…me.”

As if to prove his point, he snaps them in two, then tosses them away. A minute later, he reaches into his pocket, pulling out the fully intact Dateviators.

[the-shadowlancer]

Shit. @ancientblogjimbojames NIHIL! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“I AM AWARE! I AM WORKING ON IT!”

[the-shadowlancer]

Is there anything I can do to help you work on it faster?

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“GET THE FUCKING RUNESMITH!”

[ask-the-servant]

“HEY! Hey there, Kal-Servant! Servant, I said Servant. Do you remember those pink glasses Ozy had? Because we have a SITUATION.”

@ancientblogjimbojames

*The bull hums for a moment, thinking. And then flinches in realization* THOSE cursed glasses? What did you do with them??? Please don't tell me they are bound to someone... Didn't we instruct you to keep those locked up?

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“An anon managed to grab them. They’ve bonded to Ironclad. And um….let me show you what happened to his estrogen.”

(Once again, art by Cardboardbones!)

[askblogironclad]

Oh Architect Destroy Us.

She recognizes those glasses. They’re supposed to be in Nihil’s vault. Cursed relics such as this definitely shouldn’t be wandering about in the spire.

…Clad. I need you to give me those. Right now.

@the-shadowlancer

“Can’t. Bound…to…me.”

As if to prove his point, he snaps them in two, then tosses them away. A minute later, he reaches into his pocket, pulling out the fully intact Dateviators.

[the-shadowlancer]

Shit. @ancientblogjimbojames NIHIL! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“I AM AWARE! I AM WORKING ON IT!”

[askblogironclad]

Oh Architect Destroy Us.

She recognizes those glasses. They’re supposed to be in Nihil’s vault. Cursed relics such as this definitely shouldn’t be wandering about in the spire.

…Clad. I need you to give me those. Right now.

@the-shadowlancer

“Can’t. Bound…to…me.”

As if to prove his point, he snaps them in two, then tosses them away. A minute later, he reaches into his pocket, pulling out the fully intact Dateviators.

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“…oh no. They’ve imprinted. Okay okay, we can fix this! It’ll just take a bit!”

[the-melting-dragon]

Were there any Ancients who... Didn't make it when the Blight initially hit? I mean if it rendered The Architect comatose for millenia and shriveled all your trees up, I fear for what might happen to any who may have caught it, divine or otherwise.

*The large dragon is silent. His breathing is slow, yet still rumbles the large room as it always does.*

*His head bows slightly, eyes closed shut in rememberance.*

*...it seems there is nothing Pael has to say.*

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“…all we can do now is make sure nobody else has to suffer through it.”

[nonupeipe-serendipity]

Yeah, this does look like it belongs to you, plus it has some of your blessing traces on it.

"..."

"Seems I need to have more words with that whale than I originally intended."

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“She got you too huh?”

[the-shadowlancer]

Wait, what relic did she make from you?

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“The fucker stole my dice.”

[nonupeipe-serendipity]

Yeah, this does look like it belongs to you, plus it has some of your blessing traces on it.

"..."

"Seems I need to have more words with that whale than I originally intended."

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“She got you too huh?”

[ancientblogjimbojames]

I don't think we heard your opinion on your siblings! What do you think of them?

“Well luckily for you I have a list!”

“EhEM!”

Neow: “We have an understanding. I help her, she helps me.”

Tezcatara: “A bit too cheery for my tastes, but not unbearable.”

Pael: “How I envy his ability to just sleep any sort of injury away. Sadly, this haunted place cannot be mended.”

Orobas: “Too many colors, and that voice! Whenever they’re around, I envy the blind, deaf, and deceased.”

Nonupeipe: “I used to get my performer's outfits from her. A pleasant lady to be around.”

Tanx: “FOR THE LAST TIME, I’M NOT GOING TO FIGHT YOU!”

Vakuu: “He’s banned from here. And as much as he tries to disillusion himself from the truth, we both know he’s nowhere near my level.”

Darv: “I…don’t have much to say about Darv. Talking to him feels less like a conversation and more like an experience. Because you are about to experience levels of ADHD previously unheard of.”

Ozryal: “Profane and Servant forced us into talking again. It’s…nice.”

Khercuicences: “We talk far too much.”

Mechanist: “If you speak that name in my presence again, I will reorganize your entire body alphanumerically."

[ancientblogjimbojames]

What's the verdict on magical girls

👍

[the-shadowlancer]

I mean, look at me. That should be enough of an answer.

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“Hush you.”

[stsoc-thedragon]

Are you familiar with the others who are trying to kill The Architect? Any thoughts on them?

"THE OTHERS WHO ASCEND THE SPIRE? I DO ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR STRENGTH - FOR MORTALS. ALAS, THEY CANNOT HELP BEING WHAT THEY ARE."

"THE IRONCLAD ( @askblogironclad ) IS A PERFECT SPECIMEN. A SINGLE-MINDED RAGE, WIELDING MIGHT AND FLAME TO CRUSH ALL IN HIS PATH! VAKUU ( @vakuu ) DID A WONDERFUL JOB SHAPING HIM. IT'S A PITY THE DEMON'S AMBITIONS ARE SO MODEST. SUCH WASTED POTENTIAL. BUT HIS CORPSE MAKES A FINE FEAST."

"THE SILENT ( ... ) SHOULD LEARN THAT BEGGING FOR RESPECT WILL NEVER WORK. HAVE THE STRENGTH TO DEMAND ADMIRATION! DON'T SIMPLY HOPE OTHERS WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT - TAKE IT FOR YOURSELF! SHE ALSO HAS QUITE THE SPICY FLAVOR. POINTS OFF FOR ALL THE PRICKLY BITS THOUGH."

"THE REGENT ( @heirtothestars ), NOW THAT'S ONE WITH THE RIGHT ATTITUDE! A MORTAL HE MAY BE, BUT HE HAS THE GUMPTION TO DEMAND NOT ONLY THE WORLD BUT THE STARS AS WELL! A DELIGHTFUL LITTLE PLAYTHING. TASTES LIKE STAR-STUFF, BUT GOES WELL WITH KETCHUP."

"THE DEFECT ( @sosaysthedefect @robotic-defect ?) IS A CURIOUS ONE. WHAT INSTINCT DRIVES AN AUTOMATON SUCH AS ITSELF? I WOULD NOT KNOW. WHATEVER IT IS, IT IS VERY CRUNCHY."

"THE NECROBINDER ( @the-necrobinder ), MUCH LIKE THE IRONCLAD, HOLDS A SINGULAR, ALL-CONSUMING RAGE. WONDERFUL! I CAN ONLY HOPE SHE KEEPS HOLDING ONTO THAT RAGE. IN THE MEANTIME, HAVE BEAUTY STANDARDS CHANGED SO MUCH SINCE THE HEART WAS SLAIN? I WOULD SAY SHE'S ALL SKIN AND BONES, BUT SHE'S NOT EVEN THAT! HARDLY EVEN A SNACK."

"THE WATCHER, AT FIRST GLANCE, WOULD SEEM TO HAVE THE SAME WRATH - BUT SHE SHACKLES IT, FORCING IT AWAY. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT SHE REFUSES TO INDULGE IN GREED, CLAIMING AN 'ASCETIC' STYLE. DISGUSTING. EMBRACE YOUR INSTINCTS! LET YOUR WRATH FLOW FREE! AT LEAST SHE MAKES AN ADEQUATE MEAL."

"MANY OTHERS SEEM TO HAVE APPEARED AS WELL. BUT I SHALL SAVE THOSE THOUGHTS FOR ANOTHER TIME.

[watcheraskblogsts]

“Well fuck you too.”

[stsoc-thedryad]

Y-Yeah. P-Please d-don't say such f-foul things about her. O-Or them.

[stsoc-thedragon]

"OH? SO DEFENSIVE? WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME HOW YOU REALLY FEEL, WITHERED ONE?"

Embers dance in The Dragon's maw as she laughs. A reminder of the relationship between fire and forests.

"GO ON, DON'T BE SHY. THE WATCHER ( @watcheraskblogsts ) IS ENTIRELY UNLIKE MYSELF - I DON'T BELIEVE EITHER OF US WOULD DISAGREE ON THAT. NO AMBITION, NO PASSION - WHAT VIRTUES DO YOU SEE IN SUCH A BEING? BECAUSE, FRANKLY, I CAN'T FIND A SINGLE ONE. BUT PLEASE, DO ENLIGHTEN ME."

[watcheraskblogsts]

“Leave her alone you oversized winged Iguana.”

[the-shadowlancer]

Perhaps the dragon would like to be slain. I could add it to my docket, it’s not like there aren’t already ancients on there.

[watcheraskblogsts]

“…that is slightly concerning Mara, sorry, Shadowlancer.”

[the-shadowlancer]

…how the fuck do you know my name. Have you been in contact with Nihil? How?!

[watcheraskblogsts]

“I know many things oh Lancer.”

[the-shadowlancer]

If this gets to Malik before I’m ready to save him I will spare no length to make sure you /stay/ dead this time.

[watcheraskblogsts]

“Malik? Ah, right, you wouldn’t remember his first name would you? After all…”

“Vakuu took it when the contract was signed.”

[the-shadowlancer]

I forgot that name when he killed me. You know my name, but you don’t know that Malik means “precious and delicate”?

[ancientblogjimbojames]

“This is very sweet, but please cease arguing before he finds this. Can’t have spoilers now can we?”